3

Parent Manual
In this section you will nd all the information you need with regard to TSTIs approach to Bar/Bat Mitzvah as well as our congregational policies. Please note that, since Bar/ Bat Mitzvah at TSTI is not static changes will be introduces. New items from one edition to the next will be highlighted in red. As always, please do not hesitate to contact us with

Section 1

INTRODUCTION
Your child is about to prepare for a very special occasion unique to the Jewish people. As parents, you play an important role in this process. In the course of our Temples history, hundreds of boys and girls have made their way to our pulpit on the occasion of becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Each child is unique, bringing to the worship service strengths he or she never knew existed, until discovered upon recitation of the rst tremulous brachah, or the last paragraph of their speech. Also, each Bar or Bat Mitzvah has been an opportunity for personal growth, family enrichment, and communal joy. As a congregation, we have certainly learned something from the sum total of all these occasions. We have learned especially that, just as a child discovers the same nervous anticipation and receives from the experience the same sense of accomplishment, so too, each family discovers the

same questions concerning preparation and receptionwhat to do, how to go about it and when. With this in mind, this pamphlet was compiled to serve as a helpful guide and checklist. It may not completely mitigate the moments of panic that befall us all, but if it should calm a single jangled nerve, it has been worth the effort. Additionally, your suggestions and additions for the next edition are most welcome. Should you have any questions at all, feel free to call upon any member of the Temple staff for assistance.

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Section 2

WHAT IS BAR/BAT MITZVAH?

As far back as the 6th century, the age of maturity was established as 13 for a male and 12- for a female. Until the late Middle Ages, it was permissible, even desirable, for boys and girls to be married at these early ages. (Fortunately, time and values do change.) Thirteen was also the accepted age at which a boy was fully ready and knowledgeable enough to conduct a worship service to be counted in a minyan. As a Jewish tradition, Bar Mitzvah is some 800 years old. It came into being about the time that religious upheaval and persecution forced Jews to move from community to community. As a ceremony, its function was to establish (in each community) those youngsters who were sufciently trained to participate in worship. Over the course of the centuries, Bar Mitzvah has come to be viewed as the occasion of spiritual awakening andmoral responsibility. Until that age, it was the parent (specically the father) who assumed all ac-

countability for a childs actions. It is interesting to note that in a traditional Bar Mitzvah ceremony, the father (with a sense of relief), intones this most unusual blessing: Baruch Sheptarani May Onsho Shel Zeh Blessed be the ONE who has relieved me from the (spiritual/moral) burden of this child. While Bar Mitzvah has a centuries-long history, Bat Mitzvah is a very recent Jewish observance. The rst Bat Mitzvah is said to have taken place in the early years of the 20th century and is credited to have been Judith Kaplan, the daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, and founder of the Reconstructionist Movement. Today in progressive, egalitarian synagogues, Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah are equivalent in meaning and observance. Spiritual adulthood means that from Bar/Bat Mitzvah on, a Jew is responsible for keeping his/her promises, fasting on Yom Kippur, being counted for Jewish worship, and living by the values and principles of Judaism. At Temple Sharey Telo-Israel, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a requirement of the religious school. It is hoped that parents will be ready to put their ceremony in a proper and positive
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perspective for the child, and that the child in undertaking the preparation for this ceremony will be intrinsically motivated and will look forward to the experience. Once the decision to prepare for becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is made by child and parents, the clergy, the Temple and the staff can be counted on to do everything possible to help make this a positive and meaningful process. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is available to every Jewish child who has attended at least four years of religious school or its equivalent. However, this ceremony is only one stage of a childs ongoing Jewish education at Temple Sharey Telo-Israel; it is by no means a conclusion. With this in mind, it is expected that prospective Bar/Bat Mitzvah intend to continue attending religious school through Conrmation, which occurs with the completion of the tenth grade and graduation in the twelfth grade.

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Section 3

ASSIGNMENT OF DATES
A parents meeting for prospective Bar/Bat Mitzvah is held in the fall of the fourth grade year. At this meeting, the Rabbis, Cantors, and several staff members will discuss with you the various aspects of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Form will be distributed to help us assign a date that best meets your familys needs. Final date assignments for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah are sent out in the spring of the fourth grade school year. Once you receive your date you will have 2 weeks to make changes before the dates are locked in. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah worship service in the Bass Sanctuary Building of Temple Sharey Telo-Israel is currently shared by up to three students. The Gellis-Green Chapel will be made available selected Saturdays of every month. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah service in this space is for a single child or for twins.

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Section 4

RELIGIOUS SCHOOL
In order to celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at TSTI, students must attend and fulll the requirements for grades 3-7 of the Religious School. For students with special needs, or for students who have enrolled in the Religious School after coming to TSTI from another school or from out of the area, the Religious School Director, in consultation with the clergy, will determine the appropriate educational requirements for celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at TSTI.

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Section 5

TIME AND TIMES OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE

Friday Evening Service The Bar/Bat Mitzvah involvement for Friday night includes the kiddish for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child and the lighting of the Shabbat candles for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah parent. We like everyone to have an opportunity to practice so that the Bnai Mitzvah children and their candle lighting parent will feel comfortable with their participation in the service. On the rst and third and fth Friday evening of every month, services begin at 7:30 pm at which all Bar/Bat Mitzvah families are involved. Please plan to arrive no later than 7:00 pm. On the second and fourth Friday night of every month, our Shabbat service will begin at 6:00 pm and will end at ap-

proximately 7:00 pm. Families need to arrive at Temple by 5:30 pm. Since the arrival time is early and the service will be about one hour long, it is our hope that you will plan a relaxing Shabbat dinner after the service. 2." Saturday Morning Service

Bass Sanctuary Building On Saturday morning, the service begins promptly at 10:15 am. The service is about 1 hours in duration. " B. Gellis-Green Chapel

Bar/Bat Mitzvah services will also be held in the GellisGreen Chapel on select Saturday mornings. The service begins promptly at 10:30 am and is about 1 hours in duration. Ofciation Typically a rabbi and a cantor will be ofciating in each of the worship spaces. " D. Signage

Signs will be posted directing families to the appropriate place of worship.

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Section 6

PREPARATION FOR Bat/ BatMITZVAH

Our philosophy is to ensure that your child has all the necessary tools to learn and master all of the material. While we cannot learn material for them, our goal is to be your childs (and your) partner in this process. Your childs Bar/Bat Mitzvah training will consist of the following components: Religious School and Mid Week Hebrew: In our religious school, students study Hebrew from the 3rd through the 7th grades. They also learn about Bar/Bat Mitzvah and its place in the Jewish life cycle. While they do learn the Hebrew alphabet and prayers associated with the Shabbat worship service, they are not ready to read from the Torah without additional tutoring for this specic task. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Classes in Mid Week Hebrew School

6th Grade Class Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation begins in the 6th grade. This class is designed to motivate the children toward their Bar/ Bat Mitzvah studies and to facilitate the students development of uency in the specic prayers and blessings needed for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Each student will receive a booklet and containing the complete Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. In addition, students will be assigned their individual Torah and Haftarah portions. Additional information and material will be available for download from the Temple website. Special attention will be given to those students who will celebrate their Bar/Bat Mitzvah the following fall season. B. 7th Grade Class

Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation continues in the 7th grade. This course will reinforce the materials introduced in the 6th grade year: prayers and blessings Torah and Haftarah portions
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melodies (Kiddush, Kaddish, Torah/Haftarah blessings, etc.) study materials on meaning of Torah portion 2." Torah and Haftarah Preparation With Bar/Bat Mitzvah Instructors: In addition to the above-mentioned classes, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will meet with a special Bar/Bat Mitzvah instructor who will serve as a mentor, guiding each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student through the learning process. Each child will have approximately ten hour sessions with his/her instructor. (Since the tutoring schedule is extremely tight, it is important that scheduled lessons be attended consistently and promptly. Except in the case of illness, make-up lessons are not available).Torah Chanting For those students who wish to chant their Torah portion, the students must be completely uent in the Hebrew reading of the Torah portion. Individual chanting lessons are available. Please contact the cantors ofce directly to set up appointment times, with the approval from your assigned tutor. Note:" If your childs Bar/Bat Mitzvah is in September or October, please be sure that their summer plans include Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring either at camp or at home. Students are expected to have mastered all the prayers and blessings studied in their 6th and 7th grade religious school classes PRIOR to their rst meeting with the B/ Mitzvah instructor. In order to successfully master this material, it is expected that a Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate will study this material for one hour every day at the commencement of these classes. Students are expected to keep a log of when they study and what material they covered each time period. In order to ensure each childs success, we reserve the right to limit the amount of a childs participation in the service, if he/she is not spending sufcient time preparing. 3." Additional Support

We are committed to the success of each of our students. If extra support is needed, high school students will be available in a supervised study hall on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons, whenever religious school is in session. Bar/Bat Mitzvah students must make appointments for this extra help. There is no additional charge for this program. (It should be noted, however, that if the Bar/Bat Mitzvah needs exceeded the scope of this program, parents might elect to
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have private tutoring at their own expense.) In the event that private tutoring is necessary, please use only our recommended tutors. Please note that students may not miss regular religious school classes for any of these meetings.

A cantor will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to review prayers and blessings. A rabbi will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to practice prayers and review Torah and Haftarah portions. A rabbi will meet with each child to review the speech about the section of Torah they will read. For Services in the Gellis-Green Chapel In most cases, a cantor will conduct the rst full family rehearsal. In most cases, a rabbi will conduct the second full family rehearsal. Of course, in the event of illness or a pastoral emergency, the clergy member participating may change at the last minute. 5." Family Rehearsals

4. Clergy Role Bass Sanctuary Building Bar/Bat Mitzvah A cantor will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to review prayers and blessings. A rabbi will see all Bar/Bat Mitzvah students twice to practice prayers and review Torah and Haftarah portions. A rabbi will meet with each child to review the speech about the section of Torah they will read.

"

For Services in the Bass Sanctuary Building

A. In most cases, a cantor will conduct the rst full family rehearsal. In most cases, a rabbi will conduct the second full family rehearsal. Clergy Role Gellis-Green Chapel Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Approximately 2 weeks before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the rst family rehearsal

STUDENTS ARE EXPECTED TO HAVE ALL MATERIAL COMPLETED, MASTERED AND READY. Please be sure
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to complete your Aliyah sheet, including Hebrew names, prior to this meeting. If you have any questions or concerns, please set up a meeting with a member of the clergy prior to this time. The nal rehearsal will take place the week of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. During these rehearsals, we will review: Tallit ceremony Bar/Bat Mitzvah participation in service, including reading from the Torah and presentation of the speech. Passing the Torah through the generations Aliyot Family Shehechianu These family rehearsals are the time to bring any nal questions you have concerning the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. We will do our very best to make you and your family comfortable. It is not necessary for siblings to attend these rehearsals. Note: Please be sure to bring your completed Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Sheet (see Appendix C) to your rst family rehearsal.
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Section 7

THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH'S PARTICIPATION

By denition, any Jew who reaches the age of 13 is automatically considered a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. It is customary, however, to participate in a Worship Service and to read from the Torah to exhibit that one is a responsible and knowledgeable Jew. At Temple Sharey Telo-Israel, a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah does the following: Friday Night Kiddush: On the Friday night prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will chant the Friday night kiddush during the service. Saturday Morning A. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah reads or chants: the blessings before and after the Torah the Torah portion from the Torah

the blessings before and after the Haftarah the Haftarah portion in Hebrew the translation of the Haftarah portion in English B. Writes and reads: A speech containing an introduction to the Torah portion. Speech materials and instructions can be found in your childs material packet. C. In addition, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah conducts a large part of the Worship Service. D. Anything additional to the above may be discussed with the rabbi or the cantor.

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Section 8

FAMILY PARTICIPATION
1." Shabbat Candles: On Friday evening, a parent of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is invited to recite the blessing over the Shabbat candles. If you are sharing the service, you will want to discuss the candle lighting with the other family(s). 2." Ascending the bimah:" Shabbat morning, 30 minutes before the start of the service, parents, younger siblings and, of course, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, will meet in the family room (next to the Sanctuary) at 9:45 am for Bass Sanctuary Building Bar/Bat Mitzvah or in the rabbis study at 10:00 am for Gellis-Green Chapel Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Before we ascend the bimah, we will review the tallit ceremony and the aliyot. 3." Placing the Tallit: ents place a tallit on At the beginning of the service, par-

Bar/Bat Mitzvah, parents recite the following blessings:

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheynu melech ha-o-lam, Asher kidshanu bmitzvotav, vtzivanu lhit-a-tef ba-tzi-tzit. Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheynu melech ha-o-lam, She-hechy-anu, vkeymanu, vhigianu laz-man ha-zeh.

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, ruling spirit of the universe, who has kept us in life and sustained us, and enabled us to reach this joyous moment in life.

their child for the rst time. As the tallit is placed on the shoulders of the
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4." Passing the Torah: During the Torah Service a Jewish parent and a Jewish grandparent, as representatives of each generation, will hand the Torah to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, symbolically handing down our Jewish heritage to the next generation. For families who do not have grandparents present, appropriate substitutes can be made. The Bat/Bar Mitzvah then leads the Hakafah (Torah procession) through the congregation. The entire family is then invited to participate in the Hakafah. At the conclusion of the Hakafah, everyone returns to his or her seat. 5." Aliyot: At the service, parents, grandparents, older siblings, aunts, uncles, et al, may be honored with an aliyah to the Torah at which time those who are being honored recite the Torah blessings. In our experience we have found that having up to but no more than four individuals participating in each aliyah is optimal. However, if the need to honor additional family members arises this can be increased to a total of six family members per aliyah. We are unable to extend beyond the six person limit. Parents and possibly older siblings of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah should plan to take the last aliyah so that they may be standing with their child as he/she reads the nal section from the Torah.

Please complete the ALIYAH FORM (copy found in Appendix C) with the Hebrew name of each person to be so honored. Please make certain that the person to be called to recite the Torah blessings has rehearsed and knows the blessing very well so that they may be as comfortable as possible during this honor.

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Section 9

FAMILY MEMBERS WHO ARE NOT JEWISH:

The reciting of the Torah blessings is only performed by a Jewish person (copy found in Appendix C). However, a non-Jewish family member may be honored during any aliyah with one of the four alternate prayers also found in Appendix C. At the family rehearsal with the Rabbi or the Cantor two weeks prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please indicate the prayer that you/they are reading.

7. " Kiddush and Motzi: At the conclusion of the service, following the nal song, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and their siblings will lead the congregation in the recitation of the kiddush and the motzi. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah families will then follow the Rabbis and Cantors out of the Sanctuary where they can greet their guests. 8." Bimah Guest:"Please note that we no longer will have adult bimah guests.

6." Shehechianu:"At the conclusion of the Torah service, the entire family will be invited to the bimah to recite the Shehechianu prayer. At this time, close friends can be invited, as well. Please offer this invitation to your guests prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Jewish and non-Jewish guests can join on the bimah.

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Section 10

COORDINATING THE DAY WITH THE OTHER FAMILIES:

When you coordinate the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with another family, please keep the following in mind: If you intend to provide kipot, please confer with the other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families in order to provide enough for the entire congregation. Our Womens Connection gift shop can assist in the ordering of kipot for your special occasion There is no assigned seating in the Bass Sanctuary Building or the Gellis-Green Chapel. Guests may be seated on either side.

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Section 11

DINNER AND RECEPTION

Shabbat Dinner: If you have family and friends traveling from out of town for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, you might want to consider having a family Shabbat meal before services on Friday evening, or after services on the second and forth Friday of the month, either at your home or at the Temple. If you decide to have your meal at the Temple, please contact Karen Patton, ext. 224, to arrange for the rental of an appropriate room for the dinner. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Reception: According to Jewish custom, we are enjoined to celebrate life its stages and passages with enthusiasm and joy. Therefore, it is a part of our tradition to have a reception following the observance of a life cycle event. However, it is important to note that receptions can take many shapes and forms. They can be as simple as a kiddush or brunch at Temple or at ones home or as elaborate as a formal dinner-dance held at Temple or at one of the major hotelsor anything in between.

Yet, there is a perspective to maintain. The worship service is the focus of this life cycle event; a reception is secondary. Therefore, it is not the service that must meet the needs of the reception, but the opposite. There are also proprieties to consider. The reception should be in keeping with the sanctity of the occasion being celebrated, and the cost of a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah reception should never be such as to place an undue nancial strain on the family. (Costs of the event may include food, beverage, room rental, dance oor rental, music, dishes, servers, service charge, gratuity, table decorations, Mazon contribution, etc.) Place of Reception: Information concerning reserving Temple facilities for your reception may be obtained from Karen Patton in the Administrative Ofce, ext. 224. While we say kiddish and motzi together at the conclusion of our service, we do not have a congregational oneg. Please note: TSTI does not allow shellsh or pork in our facility.

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Section 12

HOME BOUND FAMILY MEMBER?

We are pleased to be able to provide LIVE Bar/Bat Mitzvah worship though home telephone lines to members of the congregation who are unable to attend services. Through prearrangement, you will be able to call Temple and be connected to the Sanctuary or chapel sound system by telephone. You will hear the service LIVE as it is conducted by our clergy. It would be preferable if you had a speakerphone option on your home telephone. We are also able to stream live. We are grateful for the generosity of the Josh Littman Fund that has enabled Temple to offer this service to our congregation at no charge. Please call the Temple at 973-763-4116 and ask for Karen Patton, ext. 224, for further information.

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Section 13

ADMINISTRATION JULY 2011

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Fee: We wish to remind you that the Bar/ Bat Mitzvah at fee has been billed over three years. The fee includes Bar/Bat Mitzvah training, a taping of the service, musical accompaniment and a contribution to the Oneg Shabbat and Bima owers fund. Temple requires that all membership dues, fees for religious school, capital improvements and all other related fees for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, including catering and security, to be paid in full sixty (60) days prior to your familys celebration. Religious School Participation: In order to celebrate a Bar/ Bat Mitzvah at TSTI, students must attend and fulll the requirements for grades 3-7 of the Religious School. For students with special needs, or for students who have enrolled in the Religious School after coming to TSTI from another school or from out of the area, the Religious School Director, in consultation with the clergy, will determine the appro-

priate education requirements for celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at TSTI. Respect for our Temple: We expect our children and their guests to treat our entire building and grounds appropriately. Parents will be held responsible for any damage incurred. Parents are responsible for the supervision of their guests during their reception. Caterers: Caterers should be decided upon well in advance. Karen Patton, ext. 224, will be glad to speak with you regarding the obligation of caterers. Not permitted: At Temple, shellsh and pork are always prohibited. There is no smoking anywhere in the Temple facility. Mazon: Mazon is a major national Jewish project to feed the hungry in this country and elsewhere. Temple Sharey Telo-Israel is proud to be a part of this unusual mitzvah project. Regardless of where your reception is held, it is requested that you donate 3% of the monies spent on food at your reception to Mazon. We exemplify the highest human values of our faith by remembering at our time of joy that others are not so fortunate. A check made out to Temple and des60

ignated for that purpose will be forwarded to Mazon in your name and in the name of Temple Sharey Telo-Israel. It is always appropriate to contribute to a Temple fund in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Parents and/or grandparents might also wish to have one or more leaves inscribed on the beautiful Tree of Life sculpture that graces the corridor leading into the Sanctuary. (Details are provided on the Tree of Life form.) If you wish any further information, call the ofce.)

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Section 14

APPENDIX: CHECKLIST
Suggestions: Consider reserving one of the Temples party rooms as soon as possible, especially if you are part of a triple Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. Start thinking about a photographer and musicians a year in advance, especially if you are thinking of having an evening party (which means you will be competing with weddings and other social events). Make friends and especially out-of-town family members aware of your date as soon as possible. Consider setting aside a block of hotel rooms for your guests as soon as possible. Call to introduce yourselves to the other families having their Bar/Bat Mitzvah on the same day.

Start to think about your mitzvah project.

3 to 6 Months Before: Order invitations indicating a 10:00 am starting time for a Sanctuary service. (A 10:15 am starting time for the GellisGreen Chapel service.) Encourage your guests to arrive on time. You may want to include a statement in the invitation that lets your guests know that our synagogues custom is to have the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates leading prayers from the beginning of the service. The following statement may be helpful: On the morning of______our daughter/son_____will lead the congregation in worship and be called to read from the Torah as a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Remember to number your response cards for people who leave out their names. Select calligrapher if desired leaving 6-8 weeks for RSVP. Helpful Hint: Take to post ofce and have hand cancelled, in order to preserve the beautiful presence of the envelope.

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Obtain a copy of the map and directions to the synagogue to be included in your invitation. If there are family members who require special arrangements for meals and proximity to the synagogue, please check with one of the Rabbis Start working on your childs mitzvah project. When planning for your daughters/sons Bar/Bat Mitzvah outts, please consider the appropriateness of any outt for the Sanctuary. We honor our congregation by choosing the proper attire. Boys wear suits and ties and girls wear dresses or suits with their shoulders covered. 6 Weeks Before: If using a calligrapher for place cards, give them list of RSVP (as updated as possible). Start making seating chart for tables. Choose someone to recite the kiddush and the motzi at the reception. (Your child will be reciting these two prayers during Friday evening and Saturday morning services).

1 Month Before: If using Womens Connection dishes, make your selections or have your caterer speak to the Womens Connection gift shop with a list of requirements. Order kipot if you will be purchasing them. Order your childs tallit. The Womens Connection gift shop has available for purchase a supply of kipot and tallit. Of course you can always use a family tallis. Practice aliyah with those family members who will be honored by an aliyah. Final Week: If the reception is at Temple, the caterers set-up can begin as early as 6:30 am to 7:00 am. Check with the Karen Patton, ext. 224, for exact time. Please let the caterer know that they may not park in re lanes or reserved clergy parking. Musician sound checks to be completed hour before worship (9:45 am). No sound check during services. Prepare party introductions and speeches, if desired.
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Photographs may be taken on the bimah Saturday morning prior to services. All pictures must be completed and equipment removed from the Bass Sanctuary Building by 9:45 am and from the Gellis-Green Chapel by 10:00 am. Clergy will be available in the Bass Sanctuary Building for pictures at 9:40 am ONLY. (Gellis-Green Chapel at 10:00 am.) GENERAL REMINDERS: First and third and fth Friday night Shabbat services begin at 7:30 pm. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be at Temple by 7:00 pm, in order to practice the kiddush. On the second and forth Friday of the month, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will begin at 6:00 pm so the family must be at Temple by 5:30 pm. Each family may purchase kipot without concern for color, understanding that guests of the other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families may wear the kipot. What is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah obligated to learn for his/ her ceremony?

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate is obligated to master all of the prayers assigned from the Saturday morning Shabbat service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate is obligated to master 4 aliyot. Each aliyah is usually 3-5 verses. 3. Chanting of the Torah is an additional option and only permissible once all materials are completely learned and uent. 4. At TSTI the Haftorah portion is read and translated.

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Section 15

GENERAL REMINDERS:
First and third Friday night Shabbat services begin at 7:30 pm. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be at Temple by 7:00 pm, in order to practice the kiddush. On the second and forth Friday of the month, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will begin at 6:00 pm so the family must be at Temple by 5:30 pm. Each family may purchase kipot without concern for color, understanding that guests of the other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families may wear the kipot. What is the Bar/Bat Mitzvah obligated to learn for his/her ceremony? The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate is obligated to master all of the prayers assigned from the Saturday morning Shabbat service. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate will learn 4 aliyot. Each aliyah is usually 3-5 verses, Chanting of the Torah is an additional option and only permissible once all materials are completely learned and uent.

At TSTI the Haftorah portion is read and translated. Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the Bass Sanctuary Building At 10:00 a.m., please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Sanctuary as possible. At 10:14 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Sanctuary doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that there may be another service in progress in the Green Chapel and children should not be permitted to wander. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended. INSTRUCTIONS TO USHERS FOR BAT/BAR MITZVAH SERVICES In order that our services be conducted in a dignied manner and the Bat/Bar Mitzvah be as beautiful as possible, it is important that the persons chosen as ushers understand their task. Only in this manner can we enjoy and appreciate our beautiful and moving religious service.

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SATURDAY MORNING As you prepare for your special day, please be aware of the Temple policy concerning ushering at Saturday morning services. Parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be required to usher at Sabbath services on a Saturday morning prior to your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Your service to Temple is greatly appreciated and it is our hope that you will nd it helpful, as well, in guiding you through the nal week's preparations. At the assignment of clergy lesson dates, your ushering date will be provided. A reminder letter will be sent to you a few weeks prior to your ushering date, along with an updated ushering list. If you are unable to keep your ushering commitment, please notify Carol Berkin at ext. 223 in the Temple ofce. BASS SANCTUARY BUILDING GELLIS/GREEN CHAPEL (formerly known as the 'new chapel')

At 10:29 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Green Chapel doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that services in the Sanctuary begin at 10:15 a.m. No one may wander beyond the area outside of the Green Chapel as another service is in progress. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended. BEFORE THE SERVICES: DURING THE SERVICES: No one may be seated: -When the ark is open -When the Rabbi is delivering the sermon -When the congregation is standing

Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the Green Chapel. At 10:15 a.m please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Green Chapel as possible,

-When the Cantor is singing -When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is leading the service Use discretion in seating worshippers after the service has begun.

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Do not allow people to walk down the center aisle to be seated during services. They should use the side aisles. Small children should be seated with their parents. Please ask parents of disruptive children to quiet them or take them out of the Sanctuary or the Green Chapel. If teens seated separately from their parents are disrupting the service, ask them to quiet down or separate them. If they do not quiet down, ushers should remove them from worship. Do not let children loiter outside the Sanctuary or the Green Chapel. Allow only two (2) children at a time to leave to go to the bathroom. Inform people with cameras that no picture taking is permitted during the service. Please be sure to dress as though you were an invited guest. It is appropriate to thank clergy and others who have helped you either with a personal note or perhaps through voluntary donations to their discretionary funds. Click here for details.

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Section 16

PARENT/FAMILY BLESSINGS
On the pages that follow you will nd the various blessings that parents and other family members will recite during the service.

SOURCE OF ALL KNOWLEDGE, TEACHER OF ALL HUMANITY, YOU REVEAL YOURSELF TO US IN THE ORDER AND BEAUTY OF NATURE, IN THE CALL OF CONSCIENCE. AND IN THE GREATNESS OF MOMENTS SUCH AS THIS, THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF CHILDREN SENSE YOUR PRESENCE, AS IT IS WRITTEN: "OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF THE YOUNG YOU HAVE ESTABLISHED YOUR STRENGTH." WE THANK YOU FOR THE BLESSING OF LIFE AND GROWTH, OF LEARNING AND KNOWLEDGE. MAY THEY BRING US TO GREATER DEEDS OF GOODNESS IN THE YEARS TO COME.

HUMBLY DO WE GIVE THANKS FOR THIS DAY, AND FOR YEARS OF GROWTH AND LEARNING THAT HAVE PRECEDED IT. NOW AS STEPS FORWARD TO AFFIRM HIS/HER COMMITMENT TO THE IDEALS AND GOODNESS HE/SHE HAS BEEN TAUGHT, OUR SOULS ARE JOYFUL AND OUR MINDS AT PEACE.

WE PRAY THAT THIS DAY'S SERVICE MAY LONG ECHO IN ________'S MEMORY. MAY IT ENGRAVE ON THE TABLET OF HIS/HER HEART THE UNDERSTANDING THAT THIS DAY INITIATES A LIFE MORE FIRMLY DEDICATED TO HIS/HER HERITAGE, TO DEEDS OF JUSTICE AND KINDNESS. TO FAITHFUL MEMBERSHIP 3N THE COMMUNITY OF ALL HUMANITY. O GOD, MAKE EACH OF US A WORTHY EXAMPLE TO THE NEXT GENERATION. LET NOTHING ESTRANGE US FROM THEM AND FROM YOU, THE SOURCE OF ALL GOODNESS AND COMPASSION. HELP US, AGAIN AND AGAIN TO RENEW OUR ATTACHMENT TO ALL PEOPLE, TO WALK HAND IN HAND WITH ________ TOWARD A LIFE OF MEANING AND RIGHTEOUSNESS.

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Section 17

BAR/BAT MITZVAH INFORMATION

CANDEL LIGHTER NAME(S) AND AGE(S) OF OLDER SIBLING(S) NAME(S) AND AGE(S) OF YOUNGER SD3LING(S) PARENT PASSING TORAH GRANDPARENT PASSING TORAH Number of adults invited to service:_

download it

Number of children invited to service: Where will your celebration take place?

BAR/BAT MITZVAH INFORMATION SHEET ENGLISH NAME OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH HEBREW NAME OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH DATE OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH TORAH PORTION NAME(S) OFPARENT(S) NAME(S) OF STEPPARENT(S) (if applicable)

"Will you need to use our barrier free, wheelchair accessible ramp in our Sanctuary? NOTES: If yon have more than 30 young people attending, please ask one Temple member to be an additional usher.

ENGLISH NAME FIRST ALIYAH

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RELATIONSHIP TO BAR/BAT MITZVAH HEBREW NAME ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat benAjat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat ben/bat bcn/bat PARENTS HEBREW NAMES SECOND ALIYAH

WITH SPECIAL PERMISSION THIS MAY BE EXTENDED TO A MAXIMUM OF FOUR

PLEASE NOTE: A Hebrew name consists of both the individual's Hebrew name and his/her parent's Hebrew names. Please make every effort to gather this information PRIOR to the. rst bimah rehearsal.

Third ALIYAH

BAR/BAT-M1TZVH ALIYAH English Name: Hebrew Name: TWO ADULTS ARE PERMITTED FOR EACH OF THE THREE ALYOT

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Section 18

Ushers
In order that our services be conducted in a dignied manner and the Bat/Bar Mitzvah be as beautiful as possible, it is important that the persons chosen as ushers understand their task. Only in this manner can we enjoy and appreciate our beautiful and moving religious service. SATURDAY MORNING As you prepare for your special day, please be aware of the Temple policy concerning ushering at Saturday morning services. Parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be required to usher at Sabbath services on a Saturday morning prior to your childs Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Your service to Temple is greatly appreciated and it is our hope that you will nd it helpful, as well, in guiding you through the nal weeks preparations. At the assignment of clergy lesson dates, your ushering date will be provided. A reminder letter will be sent to you a few weeks prior to your ushering date, along with an updated ushering list. If you are unable to keep your ush-

ering commitment, please notify Carol Berkin at ext. 223 in the Temple ofce. BEFORE THE SERVICES: BASS SANCTUARY BUILDING Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the Bass Sanctuary Building. At 10:00 a.m., please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Sanctuary as possible. At 10:14 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Sanctuary doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that there may be another service in progress in the Gellis-Green Chapel and children should not be permitted to wander. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended.

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GELLIS-GREEN CHAPEL Ushers should be stationed at the entrance to the GellisGreen Chapel. At 10:15 a.m., please request all persons to be seated. Seat the congregants as far forward in the Gellis-Green Chapel as possible. At 10:29 a.m., one minute before the announced time of the service, the Gelllis-Green Chapel doors should be closed. Remain at the doors to usher in late comers quietly. Please be aware that services in the Sanctuary begin at 10:15 a.m. No one may wander beyond the area outside of the Gellis-Green Chapel as another service is in progress. Ushering responsibilities conclude when the service concludes. Please plan to remain until the service has ended.

DURING THE SERVICES: No one may be seated:" -When the ark is open -When the Rabbi is delivering the sermon -When the congregation is standing -When the Cantor is singing -When the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is leading the service Use discretion in seating worshippers after the service has begun. Do not allow people to walk down the center aisle to be seated during services. They should use the side aisles. Small children should be seated with their parents. Please ask parents of disruptive children to quiet them or take them out of the Sanctuary or the Gellis-Green Chapel. If teens seated separately from their parents are disrupting the service, ask them to quiet down or separate them. If they do not quiet down, ushers should remove them from worship.

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Do not let children loiter outside the Sanctuary or the GellisGreen Chapel. Allow only two (2) children at a time to leave to go to the bathroom. Inform people with cameras that no picture taking is permitted during the service. Please be sure to dress as though you were an invited guest.

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