Earthsoft Foundation of Guidance

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Index
Marriage Happy living Issues Conflicts & resolution

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Objective
To understand divorce & its impact To understand the reasons of incompatibility To strengthen intellectual, emotional and spiritual aspects of your personality To select the best possible ways to save marriage life To be happy in fulfilling your duties and responsibilities towards your spouse & families To be a mature, spiritually & emotionally healthy and committed spouse To prepare for future challenges and conflicts To change & grow to be better person and welladjusted marriage partner
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Reasons for marriage

Marriage is a virtually universal human institution Right reasons to marry Companion throughout life, Unity Togetherness - Sharing good or bad moments, realizing dreams together Sharing, Loving, Caring, Giving Continuing generation, beautiful creation Child Wrong reasons to marry Money, or just Papers Position in company Just to have kids To serve ME
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Gain
Long term relationship & stability Better ritual culture due to common & deep understanding, supportive for next generation Improved family relationship Increased ownership, higher commitments Feeling of proud of relationship Feel of satisfaction & delight from peaceful & happy environment Financially wealthy & successful Active participation for function & celebration Increased morale & no conflicts
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Successful marriage
Reasons for successful marriage Common skills Good emotional & physical health High self esteem High education level High social status Pressure from society & kids

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Start a day - Breakfast table

Which scene do you want to see across the breakfast table for the rest of your life?
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Saying & believing!

The value of person depends upon Skills attained Knowledge acquired Money earned Assets build Good deeds executed Relations maintained Love spread and Behavior exhibited! There is nothing better in the world than a good wife. A good wife is the one whose husband becomes glad upon seeing her.
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Partnering
Caring
Loving Environment Culture Trust Honesty Sharing Way of life Methodologies Partnering

People Families Transparency

Respect Dignity

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Seven vows
7 Vows- Promise to God to be partner throughout the life 1.To walk together throughtout life to get pure food 2.To walk together for a healthy & prosperous life, seeking physical, spiritual and mental health 3.To support each other to be wealthy, asking strength to share the happiness and pain together. 4.Determined for love and respect for each other and their respective families 5.Pray for the beautiful, heroic & noble children 6.Request for the peaceful long life with each other 7.For companionship, togetherness, loyalty and understanding & to be friends for lifetime Marriage is a symbol of purity, union of two different people, community and culture
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Divorce
Divorce or the dissolution of marriage is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the partners! As of 2011, divorce rate in India is 1.01 for every thousand marriages annually, is too high

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Reasons
Category
Social

Reason
Dowry harassment, Exploitation, Conservative approach Unbearable mental and physical torture Acceptance of divorced daughters, Change of views DINKS (double income no kids) couples Downfall of Joint family system Misunderstanding of Woman empowerment & equality Non compatibility in social, economical, intellect status Lack of adaptability, lack of patience Domination, egoistic nature, Listen serve to me attitude Extramarital affairs, Western culture influence Ability to be on own, Financial freedom Growth of individualism, High salaries Disputes over managing finance, I can do it better attitude Work-life imbalance, Professional rivalry Lack of ethics and morals, Fashionable life style Lack of affection, Ignorance, Insulting, Disrespect Making earth little softer

Personality

Finance

Professional Behavior

Issues
Lack of understanding Priorities differs Methodologies differs Above results in Disregard & Distrust, cycle continues Missing on Loving, Caring, Sharing, Giving Different values Own world Ignoring & not sharing time Lack approval from family (for love marriage)

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Before marriage
We hide the things We ignore We mislabel We agree on irrelevant matters We believe our loved one will change after marriage

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Voice before & after

You are just made for me You arent the man/woman I married. I want you to be my partner for all the births You seem different now. I am so lucky, feel like in heaven It isnt the same as when we were dating. I trust you You cheated me.
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Incompatibility & reasons

Intellectual gap Physical, age-wise, health related, sex related Comfort, Fun, Materialistic, Financial instability Spiritual differences Social life style Ego Missing on expectations Ability not to accommodate varieties Methodology differs slightly Twisted & distorted facts or inputs Wrong impression / prejudice Expectations to be ideal!
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Incompatibility

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Divorce globally

In India divorce rate is doubled in last 7 years

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Mature steps needed

Death statistics in USA! Take mature steps related to love & marriage

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Avoid divorce
To avoid Unhealthy life, psychological madness Loneliness & unhappiness Social insult over ability to manage Lesser combined income Risk of suicide for both & children Shorter life expectancies For children Suffer physical health Risk of school failure Psychological distress & mental illness Miss on guidance & developing
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Most effective-first hand solution

Think strategically about solution Communicate & have a dialogue Discuss, dont quarrel Clarify & Apologize if mistaken Start clean slate & fresh Enhance understanding Set the guidelines if needed Understand before being understood Avoid to be misunderstood, make a point Do not involve many Acknowledge and respect individual identity Avoid compromised & confused situation
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Most effective-first hand solution

Be REAL & realistic Plan for outing Enhance listening abilities Express issues, wish and needs honestly Understand viewpoints sincerely Respect one another as peers & friends Constructive resolutions build trust, follow those Maintain a diary jotting down own mistakes

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Fight but marriage under hold

Unable to articulate all issues at one time Unable to convince & conclude who is wrong? Unable to address ego Inability to stand on own Social pressure Deep responsibility of children & serious views not to ruin their lives Unclear answer to What next? If views till in favor to continue, not to cut thread Compromising nature & patience Hope is the strategy!!! (cannot be!)
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Happily married life

Bargaining compromise with respect & dignity (deal for both, remember marriage is not a deal!) Agreement as a gift (without resentment) Coexistence Agree (to disagree & live with it) The object of marriage = peaceful coexistence Be totally honest and kind at the same time. Control negative destructive impulses Control your anger Express your deepest fears, hopes, and emotions and everyday thoughts
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Tips
Beautiful tips Do not hit head against wall Know.....who matters Acknowledgement is the first step towards improvement Never try to straighten dogs tail Keep cool & calm, grow and behave!

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Accept totally
Lifetime to know each other People do not really know each other well Continue applying corrections & keep aligning Be flexible unforeseen events will happen. Be prepared for change people change, situations shift, relationships take on new dimensions, Couples can cope & adapt Have a positive attitude. Express positive comments most of the time. Criticism about inadequacies eliminates emotional space.
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Key element
Commitment as a symbol, not as a contract Equal focus on win-win, always! Trust which offers closeness, fluent communication & synergistic relationship Mutual goals & objectives can be achieved with deep support Continuous improve Timely communication & responsiveness Involvement of partners with each other , trust & respect for each other, must be magnified
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Thank You

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