JOSEPH S.

COOPER

BlazeVOX [books]
Buffalo, New York

Autobiography of a Stutterer by Joseph S. Cooper Copyright 2007 Published by BlazeVOX [books] All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the publishers written permission, except for brief quotations in reviews. Printed in the United States of America Book design by Geoffrey Gatza First Edition ISBN: 1-934289-29-9 ISBN 13: 978-1-934289-29-7 Library of Congress Control Number: 2006938682 BlazeVOX [books] 14 Tremaine Ave Kenmore, NY 14217 Editor@blazevox.org

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Autobiography of a Stutterer is a culmination of the past fifteen years of my life as a stutterer. The purpose of this text is to give readers the opportunity to experience a speech impediment firsthand. By following the legend and mimicking the symptoms of a fluency disorder, difficulties in communication and comprehension will begin to surface. Although non-stutterers reading this text will naturally elude the psychological fears and inhibitions experienced by stutterers, they have the chance to discover the mechanics of a fluency disorder and its frustrating interruptions. The text is to be read aloud, preferably in front of others.

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STUTTERERS LEGEND1

REPETITION of a sound, syllable, word or phrase is the most common behavior exhibited by stutterers usually provoked by sound and word fears, situational fears, anxiety, tension, and shame for the speakers lack of control. It occurs commonly in both stutterers and non-stutterers; however, certainly the severity of this repetition is more frequent in individuals with this fluency disorder.

PROLONGATION is one of the least typical behaviors exhibited by stutterers, occurring most regularly with the sounds ////, or any other fricative2 consonant or vowel. With stutterers, prolonging a sound may lead to an increase in pitch and/or volume.

This Stutterers Legend was compiled with definitions and information from the site, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuttering 2 This manner of articulation is a consonant characterized by frictional passage of the expired breath through a narrowing at some point in the vocal tract. (Merriam-Websters Collegiate Dictionary, 466)

13 BLOCKING usually occurs during pronunciation of the first letter or syllable of a word, when the larynx closes, halting the flow of air. This often produces extraneous portions of silence referred to as unfilled pauses typically accompanied by personal idiosyncrasies such as finger tapping or headscratching to help liberate the speech block.

[ ]

WORD SUBSTITUTION occurs where words difficult for a stutterer to speak are replaced with less-suitable words that are easier to pronounce.

FILLED PAUSES are interjections in normally fluent speech such as um, uh, er, among others that serve as placeholders during conversation in order for a listener to know the speaker has not yet finished speaking.

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LIP

Utterance is the incision of thoughtwounded sound. Engorged with digital friction. Fluency is haphazard architecture. Consequently his esophagus was in strands. A series of encrypted messages colonized the infrastructure. Conceive mouths origin. Slick spores. What of Tongue is microbial. circumference of

happens if tongue is wrapped around the memory? Verses surreptitious space slipped fervently into bodyhouse. Pronoun I is anonymous. Mouthed by impulsion. His lungs were impaled. [In secret] unless otherwise indicated is where error patterns process are of fused mouth into packing body and parts. sound Spontaneous recovery is a relatively simple deadening.

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Inside his vocal chords is the confession of hearing. Breach any procedural languages. I am increasing my oracular territory by occupying yours. We will probably want to analyze other disconnection patterns in a similar approach. In reference to location pretend to be a different one. Vestiges of prayer debunked throat music. Speak through another orifice. Through walls voices strip down to sound and assess resonance. Victorious in linguistic artifice tongue streams a bifurcated voltage. I am consciously fearful of the telephone. Wet palms matted lashes into a liminal surface. Conversation with oneself uses offbeat time signatures until an agreement is reached.

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Forgive my equation.

The

silences of space are sobbing to avoid confrontation. He considered eradicating the tongue. It had on occasion sprung from the mouth like a baby between the legs of a woman. Instructions dissolve stretched salaciously over pre-language. An eleven-yearold tongue hangs from a meat hook. Under the microscope at the very moment a smile arrived three sentences were cut down the center. Tongue will cunningly assume the disguise of an angel. It opened its mouth and tied me down. Suck the language of your mass Truth is represented by the discussion.

scattered syllables of tongue. On the contrary it has built its own world for itself.

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A telephone call from a telemarketer caused his tongue to fall cleanly out. The architecture of the mouth seems to be changing. Human kind finds him repulsive. Smegma of gums lushly amused. I was having trouble feeling you in the back of my throat. From the forcible and foul the howl and gnaw. He pronounced the word um parents in a formidable shape. Glued by contact cement. They built a fence around the yard when I was eleven and told me it was to keep anything in my imagination from getting out. My tongue turned gangrene for you. filament of disparate parts. your purest interpreter. He remains the The moment

between tonguing and talking is deleted. Recall

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The first performance was a cleaving of lexical morphemes. pressed into seconds Stained discourse of self-translation.

Resistance is the property of limiting the passage of a merging fiction. We used to take turns in grade school reading passages from our [manuals]. They heard his voice and erased all translation. Your tongue is a hybrid of bacterial species. Memory is a loose Trespass on floorboard in the basement.

necessary muscle. Such tongues are said to be flapping instead of howling. One phonological resonance was a loose tooth harmonica. Arguments horizontal. bleed. demonstrated this ordinary You wont feel pain youll just

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I have a dream where tongue is strapped down inside my mouth and raped into liquid. Few people possess the desire to talk unfamiliarly. Breast flesh closed into subsequent invisibility. Reside in respiration as a kind of thief. Teeth clenched together engine the head. Therefore your former answer was idle. Seamed in semi-darkness. Tongue suffered multiple casualties. Whether such

unforced discourse really makes a difference has yet to be determined. A machine-stutterer is pronounced incommunicable. You are the most beautiful pitch. speaking of this broken thing to others. The No gaping mouth can be construed as sentimental.

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Is there any strictly material damage? A melodious extended warbling son. This might be a slip in the structural design. I want absolutely. Utter an original [flaw]. Mother was more familiar through gestures. I bite my tongue every time I eat. His tongue was ambushed by silence. The first time I tongued a girl my jaw was stiff for three days and my tongue ached. Simulated discourse Instead of conceptualizes human thought.

fingers on the bathroom door mouths against linen provide optimum fit allowance. In speech therapy we were awarded prizes like animals in training. We grow intimate with monsters. Stick your tongue in every hole and indentation.

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A tongue is tightened or released by torquing the head. Simple languages are He imagined trained to the arbitrary real.

pressing his tongue against the grill like uh a sausage. What he hears is the

peripheral velocity of popular memory. He was completely naked in the voice box. His esophagus mated with a preformed eternal thread. It was cut unspoiled like the breath of a violet. From where the public is sitting it is possible to believe that debates do not take place. disappearing Full in language then all accountable were

questioned tracked with lip-gloss and put into an iron cage suspended in the air in the center square by a single-syllable. You are very easy with words.

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I am unavailable to deliberate possibility. Tongue is cut where I went. It is necessary to be among patterns. Abducted and forced to shed its human mask. Assuming inadaptable surgical pathways um

accusation is the footprint of the deliberately numb. Tongue will completely untie with a single pull. I used to slice worms in half with Popsicle sticks and watch them wriggle in mistranslation. Replace everything in the room with a guarded prop. His gritted teeth hurled little sounds toward the unexposed. My voice on the record skips. A noun is constructed from bile. Just remember to finish vigilantly. happens under its own volition. My machine

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I tried spelling my name in worm guts before the Popsicle stick broke in half. Speech was a series of obvious lies. There is no tongue overturned in your sonata. Censorship is an ulterior motive of therapeutic language. A splice decreases tongue Be someone strength by fifteen percent.

peculiar for your living geometry. I never prayed for fluency only for the loss of tongue. Everything entering and leaving the mouth is processed. Secure loose end with wrapping of tape. Take a deep breath. Breathe. Try to relax. Try to. Relax. Let. Let me. Let me fin. Let. Let me. Let

mefinish. Let finish. Let me. Take a. Take a deep breathtake a deep breath.

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Breathe. Let me. Finish to relax try. Try to deep me. Try to finish me deep. Breath a take relax. To me-ish. To take me. Breathe to try. Let me let. Let breathe deep me. Take a deep breath. Breathe. The ear and tongue conspire against utterance in a measure of cruelty. You are one of these [pieces]. Words overlook the trim flesh of the public. If children keep a record of discourse in its purist form we can degenerate it into a meaningless routine. Simulated discourse is not complicated but there are techniques that improve its success. My tongue made a large scar in the center of your thoughts. You are saliva electric.

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HARD PALATE

When saliva transforms to rectal perspiration inflexible rust is exposed in mouth rubble. The physical act of speech the pleasure in its form the appreciation of its compactness is valuable even if the fluent content of these feelings seems low. Stutter something sweet. Breathe. Rip strips along the side and cut into angles. His mouth was devoured by voices. A piece of human vocal apparatus is left fluttering between two diseased tongues. Through college I rarely asked out a girl if her name began with a hard consonant sound or a vowel. Because we all co-articulate according to the same rules discourse becomes a contrived situation with an enormous number of degrees of freedom.

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Affirm the subject by waiting patiently for a conclusion. abrasion and This provides good fatigue resistance. I The

mispronounced Indiana as India.

adjustments sometimes result in compromise. He has not abandoned vowel-like productions. Turned completely inside out adults believe they hear stresses and meaningful intonation patterns. I never stutter when I sing. Animate and affirm your material breathing whether for composition or translation. Visitors transcribed us. Intention is not The exclusive to meaning. You have confessed to me the narrators metallic body. linguistic framework. interconnected threads are the catalyst to this

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The

mouth

soiled

by

neglect

is

compelled to speak truth under pain of death. Deemed a cry for help all inhabitants of an open call system have been sealed with wax. A scene is performed under the memory of an inquisitive machine. Putty tongue is unwelcomingly pinkish. The broad diaphanous hole is being tested for noise-making equipment. He has in his possession a deeper breath. Repeat [research] with three marbles, four marbles, etc. The length of a passage does not determine how many other passages of the same length exist. He was a pedestrian in the gray matter of voiceless texture. Many people develop some kind of system for dealing with this difficulty. They became intimate with each other after swapping patches of tongue.

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The whole picture at a glance detects any omission. This is a method of control over an undefeatable opponent. Corked

orifice. Tongue gagged when it was the center of attention. Please bring back the microphone. Our digital interface is mutating. Knowing tongue bites at appearance was a conductor of discourse. The sentimental anguish of tongue assuaged the upper crust of words. I timed my bathroom breaks for when it was my turn to read. A meaningmaking utterance in the telephone is heard as heavy breathing. My mouth [went to wrack and ruin] when speaking to her. Saying hello is like trying to scream for help in a dream with your lips folded backward over the scalp sealed together with cartilage.

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Breathing with me to imitate the words incongruity bests a companion of mimicry. Breathe the growled air when consonants back away toward the throat. A dead mouth will articulate a flawless sound effect. Unctuously I pleaded for a different disability. Take away my hearing. Ill speak in sign. When language is a carcass sinking in the mud it does not matter how hard you pull. Bring tongue onto the cold concrete floor nights in the basement. Bring tongue to globs of spittle trembling in the corners of chapped lips. Bring tongue a negative

advance to the restrictions of habit. I have kept a journal of suicide letters for my stutter.

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Tie a string to tongue and doorknob and close firmly. His impediment immediately preceded the conjunction. Tongue echoed a liturgy of domesticated swine. The mouth held by an executioner was pulled generously by the tongue until torn austerely from the platform of loose jowls. Consciousness here operates as if it were a machine being turned on and off. I speak so quickly that the auditorium um falls to puzzle. I was in a classroom doing a presentation when tongue became acrobatic. Corralled in speech therapy class you and I were intimately lassoed together in a mock dialogue. Misconstrued shy speech becomes a spluttering mosaic.