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The invisible woman

... in the Petraeus aair

Hadley Freeman
A Christmas story

Kevin Powers
From wars to words

Slippers and suits


Eveningwear for men

The singles charts


Celebrating 60 years

Wednesday 14.11.12

Why Eton still runs Britain


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Now church an d state are in the hands of Old Etonians . And theres at least one more in the win gs...

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efore this year, an internet search for photos of Judy Smith yielded just one result. But what a picture. Smith, in white trouser suit and sunglasses, leading her client Monica Lewinsky through a crowd of cameras, the month before she was due to testify before Ken Starrs grand jury. The media scrum was ravenous, but lawyers and journalists paid tribute to Smiths impeccable calm. Smith has become a legend in crisis management, working on everything from the Enron scandal to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, with clients from Kobe Bryant to Wesley Snipes. And her status was conrmed again yesterday, with reports she is advising Jill Kelley, one of two women involved in the David Petraeus scandal. The crisis is being described as the most signicant Washington sex story since Clinton. Kelley triggered the storm when she complained to an FBI agent that she had received harassing

Judy Smiths career highlights


ter wa zon ep i De Hor spill oil

emails. These turned out to be from Paula Broadwell, Petraeuss biographer. It then emerged Broadwell had been having an aair with Petraeus, director of the CIA until he resigned last Friday. It has also transpired that General John Allen, the top US commander in

Employment

Enron inquiry

Afghanistan, is being investigated for 20,000-30,000 pages of emails sent between him and Kelley. And that unnamed FBI agent Kelley initially approached? He is under scrutiny for sending her shirtless photos. Some scandals are love triangles. This one could turn into a love decahe-

Lord Patten those 13 jobs in full

s Lord Pattens role at the helm of the BBC looks shaky, it has come to light that he is juggling at least 13 other jobs. They are: 1. Non-executive director at global headhunters Russell Reynolds Associates.

2. Member of BP International Advisory Board. 3. Adviser to port-owner Hutchison Europe. 4. Member of the European advisory board of the private equity group Bridgepoint. y 5. Member of the mber electricity company city EDFs Stakeholder Advisory Panel. ory 6. Chancellor of the ncellor University of Oxford. rsity 7. Member of the mber International ational Board of Overseers eers for

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The invisible woman in the Petraeus aair

dron. Still, Smith should be able to handle it. Linda Kenney Baden, a private trial attorney who has worked with her extensively, says she is the ultimate crisis manager. With degrees in public relations and law (and a black belt in karate), Smith brings the unique experience of being able to navigate in both worlds she listens, rst of all she doesnt impose. And shes not threatening in any way, to anyone, and yet shes very wa rm. Shes also very discreet. rm This last quality comes up repeatedly in discussion of rep Smith she is hard to reach, S with no telephone number w on her company website, and directory enquiries conrming it is unlisted. But earlier in 2012 her prole leapt as it emerged she had inspired Scandal, the rst network TV drama with an African-American female lead in 38 years. This came about when Smith met writer and producer Shonda Rhimes for a 20-minute chat and the pair spoke for more than two hours. But both have emphasised she did not break any condences, and that is the key to understanding Smith, says Kenney Baden: She doesnt get out there to get fame for herself. By nature, she is a force behind the scenes to be reckoned with. Kira Cochrane

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Istanbuls Sabanci University. 8. Advisory board member to St Benedicts School in London. 9. One of 30 business ambassadors named by Gordon Brown in 2009 and still active in the role for David Camer Cameron. 10. International advis to the adviser Association. Japan Art Association 11. Co-chair of the In India-UK Roundtable. Italy-UK 12. Co-chair of the I Annual Conference. Conference 13. Occasional income from writing and s speaking engagements. enga Lena Jakat

Shorter cuts
2 The Guardian 14.11.12

Tough love
Designed for singletons to make a double bed feel less empty, is the Deluxe Comfort Boyfriend Body Pillow this years harshest gift?

Tired out
Hillary Clinton is looking forward to taking some time o when she steps down as Secretary of State. I just want sleep, she says.

Business

Starbucks: your tax questions answered

Pass notes No 3,281 Vasectomy


Age: 189. The rst vasectomy was carried out on a dog in 1823. Balls! Its true. And try to treat this with the seriousness it deserves. Vasectomies on men started soon after, but didnt become widespread until the second world war. Appearance: Ill leave that to the picture desk, who have to come up with something tasteful to illustrate this. Why are we talking about it? Because new data shows the number of NHS vasectomies has more than halved over the past decade. That must be down to the cuts. Look, this an extremely sensitive and important subject. The drop in the number of vasectomies is being blamed for a 10% increase in abortion rates among women over the age of 30. You take this ippant view because you are a MAN, and a pretty selsh, uncaring, wantonly sperm-spraying man at that. Steady on. Why dont we calm down and go back to basics. What is a vasectomy? According to the NHS, it is a minor operation during which the tubes that carry sperm from a mans testicles to the penis are cut, blocked or sealed with heat. Bloody hell. I think I need a drink. Oh dont be so ridiculous. Its nowhere near as bad as youre making out. When you have a vasectomy, you get a local anaesthetic, go home the same day, and the bruises on your balls will disappear within a week. Bruises on my balls!? It wont just be your balls that are bruised if you dont start seeing this from the womans point of view. As Ann Furedi, chief executive of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service says: Vasectomy is a safe and reliable method that gives men the opportunity to play an active role in contraception. It is disappointing that the only long-term method which enables men to play this part is declining. OK, OK. So why are NHS vasectomies falling? Men want to keep their options open. Even once theyve had ve children with Belinda, they think they might want to start all over again with thirtysomething Melissa. Typical! Man-hater! Misogynist! Not to be confused with: Having your tonsils out. Do say: How much does it cost to go private? Dont say: Its a snip!

tarbucks has had sales of 3bn cumulatively since setting up operations in the UK 14 years ago. But with nearly 800 stores across the country, it is still making a loss. How come? Here, your burning Starbucks/tax questions are answered

THE LIST

2012 additions to the Oxford Dictionary To medal Verb Mobot Mo Farahs victory dance Mummy porn Courtesy of Fifty Shades of Grey Omnishambles See also: Romneyshambles Pleb Old term revived Yolo Acronym: You only live once

How much tax has Starbucks paid in the UK? A total of 8.5m in corporation tax since 1998. Why so little? With more than 750 coee shops in the UK, any prot is wiped out through a number of payments that Starbucks must make to subsidiaries abroad. Such as? A 4.7% premium is ium paid to the Dutch division sion of Starbucks the regional headquarters for rights images and the coffee recipes. The premium, mium, which used to be 6% before Her Majestys Revenue & Customs (HMRC) asked for it to be lowered, also includes the cost of the roasting process that takes place there. Where does it buy the coee beans? From the companys Swiss operation at up to a 20% premium. Why does the UK operation pay a premium? The stores are not franchises, however HMRC RC allows companies to pay o intellectual property fees to overseas parent companies if they hey are made at

if it can show that it would have agreed on the terms between the parent company and UK company even if they were not connected. Do other businesses charge a premium? Yes. McDonalds and Burger King charge premiums of up to 5% of p turnover, while Wal-Mart turno charges its UK subsidiary, cha Asda, 0.6% for services As including royalties. in However, all three make Ho a prot in the UK and pay pro subsequent taxes. subseque Any other reasons for Starbuckss low tax bill? Yes. The company spends $500m (315m) annually on tax-deductible areas including research and development. The company also claims the rental rates on its stores in the UK are some of the highest in the world, especially in central London lly where some stores have already been cl closed because of the cost. The Europe, Middle Th East and Asia division, which oversees wh the UK operation, also als loans cash for investment, which it then whic charges interest charge on. This can be written o against tax. Simon Neville S

PHOTOGRAPHS THE WASHINGTON POST, GETTY IMAGES

arms length. h. Starbucks can charge the premium mium

Beebs blunders rs
Cringing at the BBCs coverage e of its crisis? Cameras trailing those who have stepped aside; Emily Maitlis on Newsnight looking like she might laugh or cry; Radio 4 PMs Tim Davies get a grip montage. Enough.

Wasted years
A cheery thought for the morning commute: according to the TUC the average Briton spends 75 minutes a day travelling to and from work. If youre fulltime thats ve weeks a year.

Retro style
Calling 80s hair fans. Michael J Fox stages a fashion comeback in this years Gap Christmas ad. Blimey.

14.11.12 The Guardian 3

Hadley Freeman
Long anticipated, adored by some, dreaded by many. No, not Christmas itself but those awful festive adverts

Christmas story: many years ago, when my age was still in the single digits, I was watching TV at a friends house. A Christmas-themed advert came on for a toy that was typical of the oerings foisted upon children in 1980s New York Barbies plastic surgeons oce, maybe, or a Cabbage Patch Doll nuclear power station, or perhaps a Monopoly set that came with fake piles of cocaine. My friend turned to me proudly: Ive already put that on my Christmas list. For what would not be the rst time in my childhood, I mused that, sometimes, being Jewish sucks. I am happy to say I no longer feel that way (lchaim!), partly because I am now old enough to buy my own Cabbage Patch Doll nuclear power station (take that, Santa), mainly because I am no longer forced to attend Hebrew school. But there is another reason: just as a Christmas advert awakened me to the benets of life as an unchosen person, Christmas adverts today make me think that perhaps, really, I dodged a goyish bullet. Like John Lithgow in 3rd Rock from the Sun, desperately studying the people of Ohio in order to understand the human race, I have spent some time watching this years festive adverts to get to grips with Christmas and, Im not going to lie, Im a little confused. The rst thing Im confused about is when Christmas adverts became a big deal in this country. I do not remember this from, say, just ve years ago, but now the John Lewis Christmas advert has become Britains equivalent of the ad adverts shown during the Super Bowl: awaited, waited, unveiled with the fuss of the turkey on Christn mas day and then parsed for some kind of d cultural meaning. We can draw all kinds of ds pat conclusions about what this says about bout the cultural dierences between Britain and n America that one gets excited about a department stores festive advert and the other is er fascinated by parodically expensive adverts verts shown during breaks in a contact sport that is now proven to cause head injuries. But I prefer to note the dierences between n the countries Christmas adverts, with Americas focusing on general consumpption, Britains opting for sentimentality and y anachronistic depictions of family life. Merry Christmas, everybody! Lets start with the alleged big festive ve gun, John Lewis, and its annual muzaking king of a much-beloved 80s song. This advert ert is so soppy eyed it makes the Werthers s Originals advert look like a gritty Ken Loach lm. It has been described as classy because it doesnt actually show the name John Lewis. Personally, ,

The John Lewis ad is so soppy it makes the Werthers Originals one look like a Ken Loach film

John Lewiss snowman

I wouldnt have noticed if it did, as I was too distracted wondering why a snowman would even need gloves, seeing as they are made of snow. Do snowmen make themselves cold? I think deep thoughts, you know. Like its product, Coca-Colas Christmas adverts remain teeth-rottingly consistent, still taking place in a strange world where cheerycheeked strangers are united in festive joy by the sight of a bunch of trucks barrelling through their village, bringing brown sugar water to the masses. Its why Jesus was born, people! But lets get to the women because thats what Christmas is really about, right? Those long-suering, present-hungry womenfolk. The very.co.uk adverts are, unless you are a devoted fan of Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton, not really a joy to watch at the best of times. Their image of Christmas this year is of Holly and Fearne bullying poor old Santa like something out of Mean Girls while wearing nasty red dresses. Dear Santa, can I have a sex change this year? If this vision of festive femininity sounds depressing, ladies, then the Morrisons and Asda adverts will require you to put Prozac on your Christmas list. Both of these adverts labour under an attitude to the genders that will be familiar to the screenwriters of The Hangover or any BBC3 sitcom. This attitude is as following: men are idiots who cant do anything, women are packhorses who have to do everything, the end. Behind every Christmas, theres Mum, intones the patronising voiceover in Asdas advert. ad e t. And behind every Asda advert, theres d be an account director who phones in his ideas dir from the 1950s I was briey excited during 1950s. the Morrisons advert when the music became distinctly similar to Danny Elfmans soundtrack simi to Edward Scis Scissorhands. Ooh, is Edward this years Morriso Morrisons celebrity? And would he slice everyone in the advert to ribbons with his scissorhands? GOOD. Sadly, as Ive often scissorhan been in regard to Christmas promises, I was been regards disappointed. Christmas adverts so miserable Why are C and lazy? Of course, Christmas adverts have as much to do with Christmas as reality TV has to do with r reality. But British ones, I suspect, unwittingly catch the true spirit of Christmas better than American ones do in that they are an ann annual event that is long anticipated, full of cliches and adored by some and clich dreaded b many. But if Christmas itself still by makes me a little sorry that I dont get to m join in the holiday properly, Christmas adverts make me very, very happy adv that th Im Jewish. Praise heavens there arent any Chanukah adverts. t Thank you, Santa!

14.11.12 The Guardian 5

Boys sit watching the traditional Eton Wall Game being played Photograph Christopher Furlong/ Getty Images

The cup of opportunity


The new archbishop of Canterbury is the latest Old Etonian to make it to the top of the establishment. But what is it about the school that makes it such a breeding ground for leadership? Andy Beckett pays a visit
6 The Guardian 14.11.12

n the Porters Lodge at Eton, a surprisingly small, panelled room that guards the main entrance to probably the worlds most famous and self-conscious school, a recent issue of the Week magazine lies on a table between two chairs for visitors. On the cover is a cartoon of David Cameron, the 19th Old Etonian to be British prime minister, and a photo of the mayor of London, Boris Johnson, who may become the 20th. The magazine is well-thumbed: outsiders remain as fascinated by Etons inuence as the school is. On the ocial Eton website, an elegant sales brochure with pictures of sunlit old school walls and pupils in their ancient, photogenic uniforms, there is an extensive section on famous Old Etonians. The list of most recent OEs is startling, even to anyone well aware that elite Britain can be narrow. There are smooth media grandees (Geordie Greig, Nicholas Coleridge) and prickly dissenters (the New Left Review veteran Perry Anderson); lifestyle-sellers both macho (Bear Grylls) and gentle (Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall); environmentalists (Jonathon Porritt) and climate change sceptics (Matt Ridley); actors (Hugh Laurie, Dominic West, Damian Lewis) and princes (Harry and William); rising Tory MPs (Rory Stewart, Kwasi Kwarteng) and people who are likely to interview them (BBC deputy political editor James Landale). Reading the long, hypnotic index of Eton eminences, back to the colleges foundation in the 15th century, British public life begins to seem little more than Eton a school of 1,300 13- to 18-year-old boys talking to itself. And the list is not even comprehensive: at the time of writing, no one has thought to include Justin Welby, the new Archbishop of Canterbury. But the power of an institution can be more than its people. Under the coalition, the patchy egalitarianism of postwar state schooling is giving way to a more traditional philosophy: stricter uniforms and rules, pupils organised into private school-style houses, more powerful headteachers, more competition and dierence between schools. It is a philosophy increasingly friendly to Eton. The current headmaster, Tony Little, remembers his rst headship at another private school in the late 80s: The local comprehensive wouldnt invite me over the threshold. That has changed massively. The number of phone calls I get from heads of academies has greatly risen in the last two, three years. They want to visit, they want to collaborate. Eton now has state partner schools in nearby Slough, and this year joined with seven other private schools to open a free school in Stratford in east London. Other trends are working in Etons favour. With annual fees of 32,067 more than the average after-tax British household income Eton is, more than ever, a luxury brand, as

14.11.12 The Guardian 7

Clockwise from top right: Old Etonians Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall and Damian Lewis; headmaster Tony Little; pupils on their way to lessons

Greig puts it in fellow Old Etonian Nick Frasers 2006 book The Importance of Being Eton. As the superrich and the wish to imitate them have strengthened, Greig continues, luxury brands have come back. Like Britains many other luxury businesses, Eton has improved its product. When I was there in 1958 to 1963, the bottom 40% of boys did absolutely no work, says Simon Head, fellow of the Rothermere American Institute at Oxford University. Thats gone. Eton has hunkered down. Its mobilised itself for the global economy. Even the uniform seems more in keeping with the times. In an era of Downton Abbey and dandyish, aristocratic menswear fashions, Etons waistcoats, tailcoats and stripes look less anachronistic. In the windows of the elderly school outtters along Eton High Street, the long, theatrical approach to the college through the pretty, prosperous Berkshire town of the same name, there are items you could imagine selling well to east London hipsters. Last month, a mildly droll Etonian reworking of the international pop hit Gangnam Style by PSY, called Eton Style, was posted by pupils on YouTube. Filmed around the school, it has had more than 2.6m views. Eton is adept at mocking and advertising itself simultaneously. And yet, aspects of the schools success and longevity remain mysterious. What exactly is the source of its pupils legendary charm and condence, their almost as legendary slipperiness? In his book, Fraser interviews the late Anthony Sampson, the famous investigator of Britains elites. Id meet Etonians everywhere I went, says Sampson, not one himself. Ive never

understood why they were so good at networking and politics. Fraser speculates: The Etonian mystique often seems a matter of mirrors, a collusion between those [non-Etonians] hungry for [Eton] notoriety and Etonians who are only too happy to supply it. One afternoon last week, I emailed the school to ask if I could visit. Within less than two hours, Little emailed back and oered to meet the next day. Like many British centres of power, Eton owes some of its inuence to geography. It was founded in 1440 on the orders of Henry VI, frequently in residence with his court nearby at Windsor Castle. Nowadays, the school emphasises its closeness to London, the great global money hub, a dozen miles to the east. About a third of our boys have London addresses, says Little, leaving open the possibility that they also have others. For the tenth who live abroad the proportion has grown a little since he became head in 2002 Heathrow airport is even closer. Jets intermittently moan loud and low over the schools spikes and towers. But otherwise, for much of the long school day, there is an uncanny hush. As you approach the college, there is no grand announcement of Etons

You become used to being able to do whatever you turn your hand to, says one former pupil

existence, just small, hand-painted signs, white lettering on black, indicating that an increasing number of the courtyards, alleyways and driveways branching o the High Street are private property. From the open windows of neat classrooms, some late medieval, some Victorian, some Edwardian, some with expensive glass-and-steel modern additions, little of the usual hubbub of secondary school life emerges. Pupils and teachers alike sit upright in the black-and-white uniform, which is somehow both uptight and amboyant some might say like Etonians themselves. The uniform was standardised in the 19th century and must be worn for all lessons, AKA divs or schools in Etons elaborate private language. When the lesson ends, the spotless pavements are suddenly ooded with pupils. Some are tall and languid, some are chubby and scurrying, some are black or Asian, most are white. Everyone carries old-fashioned ring-binder les, and no one texts or makes a phone call. But some of the boys greet each other with hugs, or bursts of transatlantic up-talking, or say like with a long i, London-style for a minute or two, many seem reasonably modern and normal. Then everyone rushes o to the next lesson. It is possible to be bored at Eton, says the school website, but it takes a bit of eort! Some boys are so well-connected when they rst arrive at the school, they already have a certain swagger. In focusing on a single institution, Etons critics are sometimes avoiding the more uncomfortable truth that the roots of Britains elites go wider and deeper. But for less overwhelmingly privileged boys, says one ex-pupil, Eton can be life-changing: Its just expected that you will drink from the cup of opportunity. So you become used to being able to do whatever you put your hand to. Or at the least, you learn not to seem fazed by opportunities in the wider world. Little himself was a pupil from 1967 to 1972, the rst male in my family to be educated past the age of 14. His study is baronial and high-ceilinged, with a window austerely open to the cold evening, but he is less forbidding than you might expect, with a quiet, calm, middle-class voice, like a senior doctor. Dad worked at Heathrow, security for British Airways, he says. One of the schools main aims, he continues, is to admit a broader mix. But how can it, given the fees, which have raced ahead of earnings and ination? Its a huge amount of money, he admits the appearance of candour is one of Littles tactics when he talks to the outside world. Sometimes I think, short of robbing a bank, what dyou do?

8 The Guardian 14.11.12

Currently, by giving out scholarships on academic and musical merit, and bursaries according to nancial need, Eton subsidises the fees of about 20% of its pupils. Forty-ve boys pay nothing at all, says Little. Our stated aim is 25% on reduced fees, of whom 70 pay nothing. What is the timescale? Quite deliberately non-specic. But Ill be disappointed if we have not achieved it in 10 years. Not exactly a social revolution. A long-term goal is for Eton to become needs-blind: to admit any boy, regardless of ability to pay, who makes it through the schools selection procedure of an interview, a reasoning test, and the standard private-school Common Entrance exam. Whether Eton would then become a genuinely inclusive place is open to doubt: one of its selection criteria is an applicants suitability for boarding, and many people connected with Eton would surely resist its metamorphosis into a meritocracy. Hierarchy is in Etons bones. Either way, Little says, the school does not have nearly enough money to become needs-blind yet. According to its latest accounts, Eton has an investment portfolio worth 200m. The school looks enviously on the wealth of private American universities: Harvard, the richest, has an endowment of more than 20bn. Eton seems unlikely to return soon to its core purpose as decreed by Henry VI: the education of poor scholars. In fact, the schools history has been more erratic than many of its admirers and detractors imagine. Henry VI was deposed when Eton was only 21 years old and its funding was cut o: the college was left with a stunted-looking chapel, built to less than half the intended length. Eton is hardly the oldest British private school one of its main rivals, Westminster, was founded in 1179. According to Fraser, Etonmania, like so many supposedly eternal British traditions, only started in the reign of Queen Victoria. From the 1860s to the early 1960s, the school enjoyed a golden age of power and prestige. Then its inuence plummeted. The Etonian-packed, slightly drifting Tory administrations of Harold Macmillan and Alec Douglas-Home were blamed for Britains apparent decline. Within the school itself, as Harold Wilsons 60s Labour government there has never been an Etonian Labour prime minister seemed poised to create a fairer Britain, a friend of Frasers wasnt alone in his belief that Eton was doomed, and should be forthwith incorporated within the state system The Provost and Fellows [the schools governing body] did consider relocating to

Ireland or France, but this was never a very serious notion. A perceived lack of seriousness hampered Eton for decades afterwards. Reforming headmasters struggled against the school establishment, nostalgic Old Etonians, and sometimes the pupils themselves to make Eton more academic and less obsessed by rules and rituals. Margaret Thatcher still had OEs in her 80s cabinets, but she marginalised and often red them: they seemed too passive and paternalistic for modern Britain.

ow dierent Etonians seem now. Little says the school teaches pupils how to juggle time, how to work hard, and how to present themselves in public: One thing I say to them when they leave is, if you choose to behave the way a tabloid would expect you deserve everything you get. He downplays Eton slang as a quirk and an oddity. A lot of words have fallen out of use. I wonder if he would say quite the same to a Daily Telegraph journalist. The classic Etonian skills Cameron has them have long included adjusting your message to your audience, defusing the issue of privilege with self-deprecation, and bending to the prevailing social and political winds, but only so far. Do institutions in England change totally while seeming not to, or do they do the opposite? asks Fraser. I think the latter. And Eton has changed far less than Oxbridge. Rushing between lessons with their old-fashioned les, some boys talk earnestly about their essays and marks. But Eton has not quite become an elite academic school: it is usually high, but rarely top, of the exam league tables. Etons view of education encompasses

much more than just intellectual achievement, says the schools annual report. Nor does Eton participate unreservedly in the global education marketplace: it restricts its number of foreign pupils. We are a British school that is cosmopolitan, says Little. Were not an international school. Does he think a school can ever be too powerful? For once, his aability gives way to something ercer: Im unashamed that were aiming for excellence. We want people who get on with things. The fact that people who come from here will stand in public life for me, that is a cause for celebration. If Eton is too inuential, he suggests, other schools should try harder. Fraser has another explanation for the success of Old Etonians: At moments in their lives, he writes, they are mysteriously available for each other. Subtle networking, a sense of mission, an elite that does not think too hard about its material advantages Etons is a very British formula for dominance. It can be a high-pressure place. For all the Old Etonians who have considered the rest of life an anti-climax, there have been others damaged by the school: by its relentless timetable, by its crueller rituals, such as the rips torn by teachers in bad schoolwork, and by Etons strange combination of worldliness and otherworldliness. Compared to most other boarding schools, Eton seems more eccentric and intense, its mental legacy more lingering. Eton never left me, writes Fraser. Little says: Ive come across a fair number of casualties who were here [with me] in the 60s. Another more recent ex-pupil describes Eton as a millstone round my neck every day. After my interview with Little, I had a parting look inside the grand, domed School Hall. The building was empty except for a single boy, onstage in his sti uniform at a grand piano, and a watching teacher with a clipboard. Dusk had fallen, and his playing rippled gorgeously through the overheated building. When he nished, the teacher immediately came and stood over him. I couldnt catch what she said, but he touched his face nervously and nodded. For some people, that is what education should be about. And Eton nowadays works restlessly to satisfy them. Beside its seemingly endless playing elds, the school is building a new quadrangle for 40 more classrooms. Next to the development is a small, bucolic, council-owned park, with litter and rusty goalposts. As Eton ourishes for the next few years at least, the rest of Britain may have to make do.

PHOTOGRAPHS CHRISTOPHER FURLONG/GETTY IMAGES

14.11.12 The Guardian 9

What I needed was to write


An Iraq war veteran, Kevin Powers had more material for his debut novel than most 31-year-olds. Sarah Crown talks to him about the frontline between fact and ction in his The Yellow Birds

he title of Kevin Powers debut novel comes from a marching song he learned on manoeuvres with the US army. A yellow bird/ With a yellow bill, it goes, was perched upon/my windowsill./I lured him in/With a piece of bread/And then I smashed/His fucking head The lines, which looped round and through his 2004 tour of Iraq, snagged unshakeably in his mind; as he was writing the novel, the bird suckered in then set upon came to stand for the lack of control soldiers have over what happens to them. The war proceeds, no matter what you think or do; its an entity unto itself. Youre powerless, and powerlessness itself becomes the enemy. That was my emotional experience of the war. The idea of the bird resonated with the core of what I was trying to get at. The Yellow Birds shortlisted last week for the Guardian rst book award landed in bookshops in September o the back of a wave of hype that began to build with the reports of Powers lucrative deal with US publisher Little, Brown and crested with reviews comparing its author to among others Tim OBrien, Norman Mailer and Ernest Hemingway. It tells the story of Private John Bartle, who grows up in smalltown Virginia, signs up to get out, and is shipped o to Iraqs Nineveh province to play his part in the USs 21st-century war theatre. Attempting to impose meaning on the conicts

senseless sprawl, Bartle fastens on a promise inadvertently given to the mother of his friend Murph younger, softer, less robust that he would bring him home. Its a promise he cant keep. The novel unfolds along two intercutting timelines: a superstitiously hopeful before, when Bartle and Murph hold their own against horror by deploying a kind of magical thinking in which if we remained ordinary, we would not die, and a bleak and blasted after, in which Bartle, back in Virginia, must come to terms both with the guilt of losing Murph and the way his death reduced all their carefully cultivated shibboleths to so much dust. As war novels go, The Yellow Birds is a triumph, mining the conict in Iraq to investigate universal questions of the extent to which we are in control of our lives; the degree to which we are capable of exercising free will. As debuts go its better yet, with an opening as arresting and beautiful as any I have recently encountered. And theres no question that Powers 31, army veteran, fresh o the Masters programme is himself a compelling proposition: if its a truism that most rst novels are autobiographical, it is also true that some resums are more equal than others, and reviewers have been quick to ferret out the points at which Powers and his narrator overlap. When we meet on the UK leg of his publicity tour, Powers in person thoughtful, dident, intriguingly

US soldiers under re in Baghdad in 2008

I had to come to terms with my own experience before I could contend with it in writing

tattooed is happy to acknowledge their shared biographical and geographical details, although he didnt lose a friend the way Bartle did. But hes keener by far to talk about the places where their inner lives intersect. The core of what Bartle goes through, he says, I empathised with it. I felt those things, and asked the same questions: is there anything about this thats redeeming; does asking in itself have value? The story is invented, but theres a denite alignment between his emotional and mental life and mine. Powers was just 17 when he enlisted. I wasnt a good student in high school, he explains. I wanted to go to college but they werent exactly beating down my door to oer me admission, and its so expensive in the US. If you join up for a period, the army

10 The Guardian 14.11.12

On the web Authors shortlisted for the Guardian rst book award introduce their work guardian.co.uk/books

will pay your school and provide a stipend. There were other reasons too a family tradition of military service (Powers father and grandfathers both served, and his uncle was a marine), as well as the purely geographical imperative of growing up in the American south, from which the bulk of the US army is drawn. And then there was just being 17: the attraction of adventure: doing something dierent. I hadnt spent much time outside of a very small area of Virginia before. He served from February 2004 to March 2005. On his return, honourably discharged, he drifted: working for a spell at a credit card company (less than satisfying), spending a summer framing houses with his carpenter brother, taking some college courses at night. I did a bunch of things. But at a certain point I made a decision: what

PHOTOGRAPH SEAN SMITH FOR THE GUARDIAN

I needed to do was really try to write. The process took three or more years; I had help from some professors who encouraged me to look into graduate school, and I managed to get a place at the University of Texas. Most of the book was written there, several years on from the events that red it. I think I had to come to terms with my own experience before I was able to contend with it in writing, Powers says. The Yellow Birds is his answer to the wider question, put to him repeatedly on return to civilian life, of what it was like over there. He set out, he says, with the aim of seeing if it would be possible to paint a portrait of the war looking out from inside of this one soldier; the focus of the book, as a result, is tight and personal, veering back and forth between soaring, saturated descriptions of light and dust, minarets and hyacinths, and the all-out screaming horror of the war. He switches, sometimes mid-sentence, until the countrys two aspects become compounded for the reader as they are for Bartle, blending and overlaying each other in a woozy mix that leaves you sick and giddy and gasping for air. Whats more, unusually for a novel about the war, almost half of it is set away from the battleeld, in a prosaic Richmond of school buses and muddy river banks that Bartle, battle-dazed, sees as if through a pane of glass. There have been stories recently that the number of veteran suicides has now surpassed the battleeld casualties, Powers says. I wanted to show the whole picture. Its not just: you get o the plane, youre back home, everythings ne. Maybe the physical danger ends, but soldiers are still deeply at risk of being injured in a dierent way. I thought it was important to acknowledge that. Was there any sense of exorcism in the writing? Certainly there were moments of satisfaction where I felt like: Ah, thats what that is; thats what Ive been feeling: the words Ive put in Bartles mouth, that I hadnt been able to articulate before. Did the war, then, make him a writer, or simply give him something to write about? Id always written, though I didnt think of it as anything other than a secret hobby. But I suppose what the war did was free me from the fear of failure. It gave me licence to give it a go.

Mrs Cameron s Diary How not to be disappointing

The Yellow Birds is published by Sceptre, rrp 14.99. To order a copy for 11.99 with free UK p&p call 0330 333 6846 or visit guardianbookshop.co.uk

Well it is so brilliant that writing is it i o brilliant i writing in having a moment? I mean saleswise, I went to Dave you should totally give a knighthood to Philip Hensher, as in serious stationery fabulousness, God I wish Id known how hot writing is when I priced the thank-you notelets, 40 for 10 is a steal. Plus I need to write a letter? Because Sarah Govey has this b called Mariella who is saying how I am a disappointing rst lady and Dave is risible unlike Sarah Brown who does amazing things, and Sarah says I denitely have to listen because Mariella is like this genius with around three million followers? So Sarah will show me how to channel Mrs Brown? Im like whatevs, how hard can being a Mariella role-model be, just promise me I will not have to start a war, unless that was Cherie? Well Sarah goes denitely the rst thing you have to do to stop being disappointing is to grow radishes? Im like, seriously, how is that not lolz, sorry risible, when everyone will KNOW it was actually the gardener, she is like, trust me, radishes can be inspirational and so is going to fashion shows with Naomi Campbell? Im like, megasoz, but now Oik is o Russians I am not sure we have any friends in common with the Vladislav Doroncommo ins? So S Sarah is like, ne, just pick any top model so long as she knows Charles Taylor and has a billionaire boyfriend from the Soviet region & boyfrien anger-m management issues, we will ask Anna Wintour for some hints. W And t next amazing thing is the slumber parties for intellectual bs slumbe which is scary but not impossible whic except apparently Mrs Browns exc guests of honour were, like Wendi gu Deng & Rebekah, they share her De love of composting? Im like, lo no oence, is there a single n Mrs Brown thing that is not oM limits to a normal person, and li Sarah goes well there is still one S amazing thing you could try? a So now I am writing my letter, actually I think a notelet is te perfect because all I am putting pe is Dear Mariella, People say I am disappointing but unfort I cant di aord to give up work and tweet all day? Please help! S Cameron. As seen by Catherine Bennett

14.11.12 The Guardian 11

Style

A NDR E W GA R FIE L D E LD

BURBERRY

R O B ERT PATTI N S O N

he arrival of a new Bond lm always brings the idea of tuxedo dressing to the forefront of fashion. Skyfall conveniently hit multiplexes just ahead of this years party season. Alongside 007, there is also inspiration to be had from a new generation of younger actors unafraid of experimenting on the red carpet with bolder looks while the high street is bursting with velvet and ritzy jacquard. A slipper is always interesting, says Jonny Johansson of Acne on the matter of what shoe a man might consider wearing with a tuxedo. Its a suitably amboyant answer from a man whose cult label has just created a fancy capsule collection of clothes designed for evening for Mr Porter. Acne, famed for its simple, laidback Swedish coolness, all faded jeans and scoop-neck T-shirts, might seem like an unusual choice to create the swish evening clothes for an upscale online menswear boutique. Toby Bateman, buying director at Mr Porter, disagrees. It was exactly this contemporary aesthetic, he says, that made the label the perfect partner to create a modern o-piste tuxedo package for someone

Evening all
Mens eveningwear is breaking with tradition and loosening up. But if you dont do velvet, statement jackets or coloured suits, there will always be Bond. By Simon Chilvers

(right) Ben Whishaw while ssic; keeps it cla cQueen (far Alexander M perimental right) goes ex

who wants to look up to date. The Acne moodboard for this project featured a white T-shirt worn with a cummerbund, a sign that the brand was keen to break out of traditional eveningwear codes. The nal range does indeed feature the signature Acne white T-shirt, made evening-like with a silk grosgrain trim, the kind of detail usually seen on a tux. Plush velvet jackets in dark blue or rich burgundy and silk jacquard dress trousers also feature in this range, which Johansson says were designed wh to work separately with denim. Its a collaboration that not only feels right for now but perfectly fee illustrates two of the biggest trends illu rippling through mens eveningwear: rip ag general loosening-up of eveningdress traditions alongside a seriously dr unquenchable thirst for velvet. Basiun cally, you will be no one at the party ca this autumn without some kind of th loosely styled velvet jacket aair. l Adrian Clark, style director at Shortlist, says that fashion designers are deviating from black-tie traditions. Designers are taking the foundations of the traditional tux f white shirt and bow tie and decon-

12 The Guardian 14.11.12

On the web How to get the hottest mens eveningwear looks on the high street guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle

MA I S O N MA RTI N MA R G I EL A

J O SE P H GO R DO N-LE V IT T

ACN E FOR M R PORT E R

structing them or experimenting with more exciting fabrics, he explains. Bateman agrees, pointing to catwalk shows such as Maison Martin Margiela, which for autumn showed a tux with a pair of drawstring trousers and a plain black T-shirt. It is now acceptable to take a velvet tux jacket, for example, and put it with a white shirt and black jeans for a black-tie event, he says. So yes, the jacket-with-jeans look really is back in play. Gareth Scoureld, fashion editor of Esquire, also points to velvet this season. Burberry did a great selection in lovely autumnal colours, such as berry red and emerald green. You can wear these with jeans but Id keep the shoes black at all times for evening, he warns. If you dont have a Burberry budget, thankfully the high street is also backing the velvet trend. M&S has seen strong sales and is doubling its range this season, to include coloured styles in teal, purple and red, says Tony OConnor, head of design. Gordon Richardson, creative director of Topman, conrms that the labels key evening look revolves around deluxe jacquard velvet suiting in intricate foil-like patterns that give added

lustre and come in rich saturated teal and berry. The high-street trendsetter has also done an embroidered velvet loafer though its advisable not to get too matchy-matchy about velvet unless your festive sartorial wish is to look like a pair of posh hotel curtains. For Clark, alarm bells are ringing about the non-velvet statement jackets that are popping up at labels such as Alexander McQueen and Dries van Noten. It needs to be played down, you want to sail closer towards Hugh Hefner than Graham Norton, he says. McQueen has mastered the art of the embellished evening jacket, but always plays down the look with a slim dark tuxedo trouser. If your idea of making a party statement is putting on a ritzy shirt, then youd better think again. Ive got a big problem with the party shirt, sighs Scoureld. Its the equivalent of the Friday-night pulling shirt, probably covered in owers or horrible stripes and worn with an ill-tting jacket and horrible jeans. Men really need to think beyond just the shirt and consider the whole outt, he says. However, Chris Hobbs, fashion writer at Attitude, is a fan of a splashy

You want to sail closer to Hugh Hefner than Graham Norton

accessory or an aordable print shirt. Accessories are an inexpensive way of jollying a look up, which means a classic tuxedo can be updated easily with a new bow tie or a patterned highstreet shirt, he says. But his real tip? This season, I am taking my hints from Burberrys spring 2013 collection and adding touches of metallic. Statement jackets, coloured suits and patterned shirts are fashions that cause eye-rolling in certain male quarters but over the past 12 months these looks have trodden the catwalk and the red carpet. Such trends are part of this loosening up of formal dressing, an idea that seems popular with actors including Andrew Gareld and Robert Pattinson. These dudes are experimenting. Gareld has worn a red Balenciaga tux to a premiere, while Pattinson recently chose a patterned Kenzo shirt to nish o his suit. Take some of their looks as your starting point this Christmas. And if all else fails, there is always Bond. Daniel Craig is everywhere at the moment and if he cant make an impression on how good a guy can look in an evening suit, then I dont know who can, says Scoureld.

PHOTOGRAPHS GUY AROCH; REX FEATURES; GETTY IMAGES

14.11.12 The Guardian 13

Arts

o1 a Britains rst N 60s Al Martino; a 19 eft) bum (l compilation al dy (below) a Showaddywad

or Britain, the modern pop era began in 1952. Not only were the rst 7in singles released that year, but the rst ever copy of the New Musical Express was published. And on 14 November 1952, exactly 60 years ago today, NME ran the rst singles chart. All three creations would become cornerstones of the pop world until their simultaneous decline in the 1990s, as the digital era got into its stride. But the singles chart or the hit parade as it was called in the 50s, borrowing US terminology has had a special appeal for the British sensibility. It has meant competition, excitement in league table form, pop music as a sport. It has pitted Frankie Laine against Guy Mitchell, Blur against Oasis, Brits against Yanks, Decca against EMI; it has been fuel for a nation obsessed with train numbers and cricket statistics. The charts dictated what you heard on the radio, what you saw on TV, how high your heroes stock had risen. For more than four decades, they were a national xture in Britain, like the FA Cup and Christmas. Looking back at the very rst chart is an insight into a lost world; the early 50s are truly the dark age of pop, invisible and obscure. Al Martinos Here in My Heart is often mentioned as being

And at No 7 its Vera Lynn!


Sixty years ago today, the rst singles chart was published in Britain turning pop music into a competitive sport. Bob Stanley on how fans, scams and yodelling Aussies changed the landscape

Britains rst No 1, but I dont ever remember hearing it played on the radio in its entirety. Elsewhere on that rst chart are a mix of genres (country, ballads, instrumentals, lm themes, exotic novelties, poster-boy pop) that have recurred in the following six decades. For todays One Direction, theres Johnnie Ray; for Gangnam Style see Sugarbush by Doris Day and Frankie Laine. All of them were available on shellac 78s; only Mario Lanzas Because Youre Mine was available as a 7in 45rpm (EMI had issued it as one of their rst records in the new format a few weeks earlier). Its also notable how dominated by the US the charts were, with only Vera Lynn, Max Bygraves and band leader Ray Anthony from Britain. Given the standard Anglo-American rock era narrative, its easy to forget what a musical backwater Britain was before rocknroll. A fair percentage of people in Britain will know what was No 1 the day they were born. I gave up asking friends from other countries a while ago, as they never knew the answer: Britains obsession with the charts has never been echoed abroad. In the 60s and 70s, the French had to rely on a monthly chart in teen magazine Salut les Copains, which excluded anything that wasnt French.

16 The Guardian 14.11.12

WELCOME TO THE CHARTS

In fact, in most of Europe, the British charts had more credibility than the local ones, hence the number of European album sleeves emblazoned with a garish union ag sticker proclaiming: Top hit in England! America only ever printed their Hot 100 chart in Billboard, a trade magazine too dry to appeal to even the swottiest pop fan. There was also no national pop chart TV show in the US, or possibly anywhere outside Britain, making Top of the Pops place in history almost unique. The only other examples of a national chart show have also tended to be British: the short-lived Disc a Dawn in Wales, and ITVs long-running The Chart Show. So its part of our heritage, and a badge of honour for the likes of Martino, Gerry & the Pacemakers (rst act to score No 1s with their rst three singles) and Girls Aloud (rst girl group to score 19 top 10 hits) to have a place in UK chart history. Yet there is little doubt that the singles chart like the FA Cup has lost some of its prestige in recent years. When did this process begin? Though it was compounded by the loss of Top of the Pops, I would suggest the charts signicance started to shrink around 1994, when singles began to debut at their peak position and fall o the chart completely just three or four weeks later. Between 1952 and the mid1990s, pop fans and DJs had kept a keen eye on highest new entries, biggest climbers and bizarre drops. Entering the chart at No 1 was an extraordinarily rare feat, the province of superstars like Elvis, the Beatles, Slade, the Jam and Adam & the Ants. By the late 90s, it was the norm, whether you were the Spice Girls or Wamdue Project. When the UKs No 1 single became more a triumph of marketing than popular consensus, the public began to feel disenfranchised. When Westlife came within an ace of equalling Elvis and the Beatles record tally of No 1s (17 each, if you dont count reissues), even Louis Walsh must have thought it a little rum. This has been corrected in the age of the download, which once again allows records to build in popularity, meaning singles can sit around for months on end. Martin Talbot of the Ocial Charts Company is used to people complaining that the charts arent as important as they used to be. As far as the artists are concerned, they 100% are. Robbie [Williams] is No 1 this week I know it meant a lot to him. And it has meant everything to new acts like Rita Ora or Cover Drive. Its the only way they can match themselves against their peers in this multi-channel era. Theres no doubt singles sales have been reinvigorated in the digital era,

1. Al Martino Here in My Heart 2. Jo Staord You Belong to Me 3. Nat King Cole Somewhere Along the Way 4. Bing Crosby The Isle of Innisfree 5. Guy Mitchell Feet Up 6. Rosemary Clooney Half As Much 7. Frankie Laine High Noon 7= Vera Lynn (above) Forget Me Not 8. Doris Day & Frankie Laine Sugarbush 8= Ray Martin Blue Tango 9. Vera Lynn Homing Waltz 10. Vera Lynn Auf Wiedersehn 10= Mario Lanza Because Youre Mine
The rst NME Hit Parade, 14 November 1952

Overleaf Top 5s from 1962 to 2012

with downloads helping to sell more new releases as well as back catalogue material: unlikely oldies such as Showaddywaddys Under the Moon of Love have become million-sellers thanks to download oomph. We are also beyond the awkward industry strategies of the 90s and noughties, when singles were played on the radio weeks before they were in the shops, a major reason why they charted so high in the rst week: on air, on sale is a policy championed by Universal that means records are available to download as soon as they air on radio. It combats piracy while adding immediacy and relevance to the charts. To the artists and the industry, at least, the UK singles chart is still No 1. A major reason for its continued authority is that it is entirely salesbased. As an eight-year-old, I bought a copy of a Wings single and expected it to climb one place in the following weeks chart; it didnt, it dropped, and I was rather upset. My logic may have been awry, but I still understood that the record at No 1 sold more copies than the record at No 2. America, on the other hand, has always used a complex and potentially corruptible mix of sales, radio play and jukebox plays; when the more accurate and sales-orientated Nielsen Soundscan chart was introduced by Billboard in 1991, alternative and country records suddenly leapt up the charts at the expense of middle-of-the-road pop hits like Paula Abduls The Promise of a New Day and Roxettes Fading Like a Flower. For this reason, the Ocial Charts Company is hesitant to introduce streaming to the singles chart. Talbot currently thinks its unnecessary: It would be a much bigger decision in the UK than other countries because our chart has always been totally transparent. Nobody questions it. Anything that makes the mechanism more opaque needs thorough consideration. They may have diminished from their TotP heyday, but the British charts still have cache and credibility, here and abroad. Radio 2s Pick of the Pops has devoted two shows to playing the biggest-selling single from each year since 1952; last night, there was a parliamentary reception for acts who have scored million-sellers; and this Friday, BBC4 screens a 90-minute tribute called Pop Charts Britannia. Meanwhile, the Ocial Charts Company website is getting ever more hits, which suggests younger pop fans arent mourning TotP the way people over 30 are: theyve just found a dierent way of divining and devouring chart statistics. We are still, it seems, a nation of trainspotters.

A month in Ambridge
Nancy Banks-Smith

I may have mentioned in passing that Ambridge is a bit on the quiet side (Lilian: What are you doing? Paul: Im watching paint dry) but, surprisingly, the Radio Timess Ambridge Diary promised reworks last week. Poor Jill is feeling wretchedly torn about the rift that has opened up in the Archer family, it wrote. I almost sat up sharply. I would have cleared my diary if it hadnt been clear already. Every day I listened intently, picking up many a useful scrap of country lore (You have to stay on top of things with hens), but Jill remained in one piece and the Archer family unriven. The Radio Times had printed an old diary, dating from the frightful time Nigel fell o the roof. If there is a judge-led inquiry into shoddy journalism, I shall appear for the defence. The prospect of catastrophe quite brightened my week. The only thing that actually happened was Emma Grundy got thinner. The Grundys have run out of money and you never saw a family further down the plughole. Peering down, you can see their bright little eyes peering back. Emma thin as tissue paper, Ed licking the last of the marge out of the tub, the baby turning blue. Er little ands feel cold, Em. Blow on em! Dickens would have drawn the line at this. It is the credit squeeze spelled out in past-its-sell-by-date spaghetti. Only sex, as Ed said hopefully to Emma, is free. So lets celebrate that. Lilian has stumbled on her son James and Leonie in agrante in the bath. This being radio you can colour in the details for yourself, including how James managed with his leg in plaster. Shaken, Lilian is oered gin and sympathy by Matts butter-wouldntmelt brother (Put your head on my shoulder). And ever since Rhys and Fallon were separated, the erotic tension between them has been like the elastic twang of a snapped suspender. Please tell me there is someone round here who remembers suspenders. Nancy Banks Smiths A Month in Ambridge returns on 12 December

14.11.12 The Guardian 17

Arts
1962
1. Lovesick Blues Frank Ield 2. Lets Dance Chris Montez 3. Telstar The Tornados 4. Swiss Maid Del Shannon 5. The Loco-Motion Little Eva Yodelling Aussie Frank Ield had the second of his four largely forgotten No 1s, although Lets Dance and The Loco-Motion are still played at all good fairgrounds. Telstar, named after the communications satellite and featuring space-age noises, had previously been No 1, while Del Shannons track was much chirpier than his biggest hit, Runaway. Within months, this innocently enjoyable top 5 would sound antique: the Beatles revolution was imminent.

Top of the char ts in 1982 Eddie Grant. G irls Aloud (below)

Music down the decades Novembers top singles

evicted by Charles & Eddies sweet 70s soul tribute a week later. Arrested Development gave conscious rap its biggest UK hit; the rave nation was represented by the Shamen and Rage, who gave an old Bryan Adams hit the full siren and airhorn treatment.

2002
1. Heaven DJ Sammy 2. Dilemma Nelly ft. Kelly Rowland 3. Die Another Day Madonna 4. Ketchup Song Las Ketchup 5. Like I Love You Justin Timberlake

1972
1. Clair Gilbert OSullivan 2. Mouldy Old Dough Lieutenant Pigeon 3. Donna 10CC 4. Elected Alice Cooper 5. Loop Di Love Shag Its hard to imagine Clair in which a man sings about his desire to marry the girl he babysits being released now, let alone reaching No 1. Lieutenant Pigeons teary, beery kneesup and Alice Coopers snarky political comment were pretty representative of British and US mindsets in 1972. The other two are from Jonathan Kings UK label: 10CCs doo-wop pastiche (their r rst hit) and Loop Di Love, Kings growly cover of a Greek holiday hit.

the Equals Baby Come Back. Below I Dont Wanna Dance were a clutch of records that havent been o the radio in 30 years: the Bee Gees-penned Heartbreaker; Tears for Fears Mad World, which Gary Jules would take to No 1 two decades later. Culture Clubs soft reggae had been No 1, while Marvin Gaye scored his last major hit.

1992
1. End of the Road Boyz II Men 2. Would I Lie to You Charles & Eddie 3. People Everyday Arrested Development 4. Boss Drum The Shamen 5. Run to You Rage Boyz II Mens snail-paced, whale-sized ballad had been No 1 for three weeks (it managed 13 in the US) but would be

Do Bryan Adams records get recycled into oorllers every 10 years? DJ Sammys Eurodance cover of his power ballad Heaven knocked Nelly and Kellys Grammy-winning Dilemma o the top. They were tailed by Las Ketchups day, post-summer holiday hit, Madonnas forgettable Bond theme and the debut hit for solo Justin Timberlake, a Neptunes-produced modern pop classic.

2012
1. Robbie Williams Candy 2. Labrinth feat. Emeli Sand Beneath Your Beautiful 3. The Wanted I Found You 4. Adele Skyfall 5. Swedish House Maa/Martin Dont You Worry Child This weeks top 5 is a pretty good w cross-section of 2012 as a whole. cross-s Robbie Williams seventh No 1 his rst in eight years is helped by the recent irksome craze for adapting nursery rhymes, Ring a Ring o Roses nurser this case. Labrinth and Emeli in t Sand represent the new S earnest; the Wanted revive the e joys jo of falsetto boyband pop; Adele turns in the best Bond A theme since, ooh, Licence to th Kill; Kil and Swedish House Maa again wring out the 90s once a Europop Europo rag. Bob Stanley

1982
1. I Dont Wanna Dance Eddy Grant 2. Heartbreaker Dionne Warwick 3. Mad World Tears for Fears 4. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me Culture Club 5. Sexual Healing Marvin Gaye Eddy Grants previous No 1 had come 14 years earlier, as a singer on

18 The Guardian 14.11.12

Portrait of the artist Kurt Elling, jazz singer I gave up studying philosophy Heideggers hard if youve been playing jazz all night
How did you discover jazz? By hearing people like Nat King Cole, Peggy Lee and Andy Williams. My folks liked to drive across the country to visit the grandparents. Wed be out in the desert, all the windows down, eating Velveeta cheese, with these guys on the radio. It wasnt full-on jazz, but a lot of it was really swinging. What was your big breakthrough? Dropping out of graduate school. Id been studying philosophy at the University of Chicago. I hadnt been doing well because I was sitting in with jazz musicians at night its hard to read Heidegger, but its especially hard if youre half asleep. So I said to myself, Ive got nothing to lose Im living in a $100-a-month room, so I should really go after music. Each of your nine albums has been nominated for a Grammy. Are awards important? Grammy nominations are certainly pleasant, but you can forget about them and lead a perfectly happy life provided you have the approval of the musicians you work with. Why do some people nd jazz dicult to get into? Because the demands of the intellect are a part of the jazz idiom: the ability to pay attention, and work out puzzles as youre hearing them. But its a shame that people think jazz is relentlessly challenging, or that its trying to be a club they cant join. I certainly dont think of jazz that way; at my shows, I really do try to play both to those who get the in-jokes, and those who wish they could. Do you suer for your art? If you start to dwell on your pain, the amount of pain will increase. I consider myself very fortunate. I have a beautiful wife who supports my work, and is raising our daughter when Im out on the road. This year, Ill be away for 200 nights; my wife is providing an incredible example to our daughter of how strong a woman can be. What one song would work as the soundtrack to your life? Carole Kings So Far Away. We recorded it for my latest album, 1619 Broadway; that recording really touched on my feelings of loss, of missing my family and wanting to be home. Which other artists do you most admire? [Saxophonist and composer] Wayne Shorter represents to me not only the spearpoint-tip of the cutting edge of acoustic music in jazz, but the stories he tells through his compositions point quite profoundly to fundamental experiences of the psyche, heart and intellect. As [Rainer Maria] Rilke would say, hes living the questions. Those questions are what art is made of. Interview by Laura Barnett.

IN SHORT

Born: Chicago, 1967. Career: Has released nine albums, the latest of which is 1619 Broadway, The Brill Building Project. Performs tonight at the Southbank Centre, London SE1, as part of the London jazz festival (londonjazz festival.co.uk). Low point: Ive had some very intense sadness and pain but without those, I wouldnt be able to communicate as a singer. High point: Performing at the Hollywood Bowl with Wayne Shorter and Herbie Hancock.

PHOTOGRAPH ANNA WEBBER

14.11.12 The Guardian 19

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hateau Chunder: When Australian Wine Changed the World (BBC4) opened with an excerpt from a classic Monty Python audio sketch called Australian Table Wines. As a child I had the record it came from, and I memorised the sketch more or less phonetically (Nuits-Saint Wogga Wogga), because I could understand not a bit of it. By the time I realised that the idea of Australian wines being worthy of expert commentary was inherently funny, it wasnt any more. This engaging, rather rollicking lm told the story of how Australian wines reputation changed so dramatically. Australia had been producing wine since the 1830s, but apart from a product called medicated wine basically sherry enriched with beef extract no one drank much of it, least of all the Australians. They drank beer, in copious quantities. Winemaker Bruce Tyrrell recalled that his girlfriends parents disapproved of him because of his familys business he was a plonky. If you drank wine you were either queer, eccentric or both, he said. Not that it was a delicate business. Tyrrell remembered his uncle sitting in the winery with a gun on his lap, and shooting a rat dead as it made its way along a roof beam. It fell into the red ferment. I said: Do you want me to get that out, Uncle Dan? He said, Nah, itll add a bit of body. Export seemed the only solution, but in the obvious target country, Britain, hardly anybody but the upper classes drank wine, and they were snobbish about Australian eorts. In 1965 Australia exported 8m litres of wine a year, about a 50th of Frances sales. In the 1970s, exports actually declined a little. Several factors resulted in the subsequent huge turnaround, including technology, marketing and a certain eagerness to please. Oz Clarke remembered being pestered by an Australian grower at a trade fair who asked

Wine de-snobbied the Aussies got round the sniness of critics demand and began sending inferior stoppers, the Aussies invented the Stelvin closure, or screw cap. Even as critics were beginning to take notice of Australias nest vintages, the industry down under was beginning to democratise the market in a way that was to have long-term consequences. The screw cap was followed by the wine box or as it is known in Australia, the goon bag which didnt do much for the reputation of the wine inside. Now that Australia is far and away the no 1 wine exporter, their reputation for making crappy wine has returned to haunt them. This cautionary ending reminded me that this lm wasnt or wasnt meant to be a giant advert, but I enjoyed it so much that I can forgive its boosterish enthusiasm. On Hestons Fantastical Food (Channel 4), Heston made a giant ice-cream cone. On Dara Briains Science Club (BBC2), meanwhile, they calculated the speed of light using a microwave oven and some cheese toasties. In two programmes designed, one imagines, to entice similar audiences, the dierences couldnt have been more stark. Hestons mission suered from a woolliness of intent that made it hard to justify the grandeur of the project all that ice-cream, all those forklifts where Briains budget experiment managed to make a complex concept at least partially comprehensible (I could explain how it works easily, but Ill direct you to the shows website for reasons of space). Heston talks a lot about magic in his series, but in all the pointless supersizing I see only o-putting excess. And Briains resident science expert Mark Miodownik faced his own, bigger challenges with the microwave toasty trial: Im cheese-phobic, so I cant touch cheese, he said. He meant it.

Last night's TV Chardonnay, or Kanga Rouge? How Australia conquered the wine world

By Tim Dowling
him what kind of wine he liked and what kind of price he was prepared to pay. The next year the grower turned up at the same fair with two wines red and white, 3.99 a bottle made to Clarkes specications. Advertising focused on de-snobbifying wine for new British consumers. The name Kanga Rouge wasnt a gag from a Python sketch there really was such a thing. Blind tastings got round the sniness of critics. When the French banned Australians from describing their products as burgundy or chablis, they simply called their wines after grape varieties: chardonnay, shiraz, cabernet (the rise of the ubiquitous chardonnay grape began after the Tyrrells nicked some cuttings from Penfolds vineyards). When Portugal couldnt keep up with Australian cork

PHOTOGRAPH IAN BATT/BBC

AND ANOTHER THING

Ive yet to tune into Im a Celebrity. To be honest, Im not sure I have the strength.

14.11.12 The Guardian 21

TV and radio

Film of the day Salvage (11.55pm, BBC1) This tense, low-budget sci- movie sets an alien horror loose in what was once the Brookside set: odd couple Neve McIntosh and Shaun Dooley try to rescue her estranged daughter
Brazil With Michael Palin, BBC1

BBC1
6.0pm BBC News (S) Weather 6.30 Regional News Programmes (S) Weather

BBC2
6.0pm Eggheads (R) (S) With Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two (S) Daily fanzine with Zoe Ball. 7.0 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (S) Actors Stefanie Powers and Don Warrington hunt for antiques in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

ITV1
6.0pm Local News (S) Weather 6.15 ITV News And Weather (S) 6.45 Emmerdale (S) (AD) 7.15 Live International Football (S) Sweden v England (kick-o 7.30pm). Coverage of the friendly xture from the Friends Arena in Stockholm. Hosted by Adrian Chiles.

Channel 4
6.0pm The Simpsons (S) (AD) Bart trades lives with his double. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S) (AD) A disaster rocks the village. 7.0 Channel 4 News (S) . 7.55 4thought.tv (S) Discussion of whether faith is a matter of nature or nurture.

Watch this
Brazil With Michael Palin 9pm, BBC1
As with a Monty Python show, this nal part of Palins Brazilian doc eortlessly nds a way to link one scene to the next. Tonight he visits an aerospace company thats now a major player on the world stage, links to a story about helicopter use among Sao Paulos superrich, takes a ride in one with a waste-management millionaire, then meets the star of a soap about life among the garbage-collecting underclass. Palins skill is as it was 25 years ago: to bring his gentle charm and wit to proceedings, all the while remaining the essential beige-trousered Englishman abroad. John Robinson on for the black box from the late PMs doomed plane. Meanwhile, a public inquiry is launched into the Teesside disaster. While Dawkins makes sincere noises about transparency, his cabinet does their best Yeah, right face. Its an amazing cast but they talk to each other like they are explaining politics to Amy Childs. Julia Raeside

7.0 The One Show (S) Matt Baker and Alex Jones host. With an update on the progress of Team Rickshaw. (Followed by BBC News; Regional News.)

8.0 DIY SOS: The Big Build Children In Need Special (S) Nick Knowles and co give a makeover to The Yard, a centre for children with additional needs in Edinburgh.

8.0 MasterChef: The Professionals (S) In the skills test, the remaining chefs have to prepare a crown of duck for roasting and the legs for cont.

8.0 SuperScrimpers: Winter Survival Tips (S) Mrs Moneypenny oers seasonal moneysaving tips.

Getting On 10pm, BBC4


Gallows humour must be part of working in a hospital, but its testament to the quality of Getting On that more of the comedy derives from the characters than their particular situation. In tonights episode, the mood is mixed in the ward. Kim (Jo Brand) is on the verge of chucking in her degree course, while Den is buoyant thanks to her pregnancy and recent romantic trip to Norway. When the pediatric oncology unit has a Christmas card competition, however, a submission from the ward threatens to set o a data protection landmine. JR

9.0 Brazil With Michael Palin (S) (AD) The broadcaster travels in the south of Brazil, where he meets the heir to the countrys defunct throne before nishing his journey at Iguazu Falls. Last in the series. 10.0 BBC News (S) 10.25 Regional News And Weather (S) 10.35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws (S) 10.45 Have I Got A Bit More News For You (S) Extended version of Fridays show. 11.25 Film 2012 With Claudia Winkleman (S) New series. (Followed by National Lottery Update.) 11.55 Salvage (Lawrence Gough, 2009) (S) Premiere. Eective Brit horror, with Neve McIntosh.

9.0 The Hour (S) (AD) The newsroom drama returns for a second series. Its 1957 and a new head of news, Randall Brown (Peter Capaldi), decides to shake up his team.

9.45 ITV News And Weather (S)

9.0 Grand Designs (S) Kevin McCloud revisits a couple who radically transformed a 1970s bungalow set in ancient woodland on the Isle of Wight.

10.0 The Culture Show (S) Tom Wolfe discusses his new novel, Miami-set Back to Blood, with Andrew Graham-Dixon. 10.30 Newsnight (S) With Gavin Esler. (Followed by Weather.)

10.15 Local News/ Weather (S) 10.20 International Football Highlights (S) Action from Sweden v England.

The Hour 9pm, BBC2


Abi Morgans TV newsroom drama returns. We rejoin the principals in November 1957, with grog-pickled anchor Hector hanging out at Soho nighclub El Paradis and enjoying the celebrity life. Trouble is, his show has lost its edge, possibly because e chip-on-the-shoulder trouublemaker Freddie has been en ousted. Enter a new head of news, Randall Brown, played by Peter Capaldi as if s he were Malcolm Tuckers s obsessive-compulsive uncle, cle, determined to shake things gs up. Jonathan Wright

10.0 Secret State (S) (AD) Tom Dawkins orders an inquiry into toxicology discrepancies at the Scarrow blast. British intelligence locates alQaedas chief, Tamin al-Ghamdi. Starring Gabriel Byrne. 11.05 Random Acts (S) Short animation about a lobotomy. 11.10 Geordies Overboard (S) Conclusion. Chairman Barry Elliott faces resistance as he shakes up the way that Blyths lifeboat service is run.
11.0 Late Junction. Max Reinhardt presents music by Soa Gubaidulina and performances from Bugge Wesseltoft and Henning Kraggerud, plus the North Mississippi Allstars with If I Was Jesus. 12.30 Through The Night. Including music by Nivers, Bach, Alain, Lubos Sluka, Eben, Kuchar, Mozart, Schubert, Reicha, Schumann, Handel, Rossini, Haydn, Schulho, Skerjanc, Borodin, Gibbons and Walton.

11.20 Great Continental Railway Journeys (R) (S) (AD) Michael Portillo heads to France as he retraces journeys featured in Bradshaws Continental Railway Guide from 1913. (Shown Thursday.)
trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie. 1.0 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert. Soprano Ruby Hughes sings Schumanns Seven Songs, the Heath Quartet plays Tippetts Fourth String Quartet and baritone Roderick Williams performs a song-cycle by Ireland. 2.0 Afternoon On 3. The BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra and chief conductor Donald Runnicles perform Bruckners Seventh Symphony and John Wilson leads the BBC Concert Orchestra in Elgar. 3.30 Choral Evensong. Live from Ripon Cathedral. Director of Music: Andrew Bryden. Assistant Director of Music: Edmund Aldhouse. 4.30 In Tune. Sean Raerty introduces performances by members of Aurora and klezmer band SheKoyokh, as well as the John Law

11.20 Rumor Has It (Rob Reiner, 2005) (S) (AD) A woman discovers her family may have inspired The Graduate. Great premise for a romcom, badly executed. With Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Costner.
Trio, and talks to conductor Hannu Lintu. 6.30 Composer Of The Week: Big Band. (R) 7.30 Radio 3 Live In Concert. From Symphony Hall, Birmingham, Jac van Steen conducts the CBSO in Schoenbergs Five Pieces for Orchestra and Mahlers Seventh Symphony. Presented by Martin Handley. 10.0 Free Thinking. Vicky Featherstone gives a talk on the role of a modern-day national theatre in shaping and capturing a countrys identity and history, recorded at the Free Thinking Festival. 10.45 The Free Thinking Essay: New Generation Thinkers. Joshua Nall, one of Radio 3s New Generation Thinkers, gives a talk on the Victorian obsession with the planet Mars, recorded at the Sage Gateshead.

Radio
Radio 3
90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30 Breakfast. Music, news and the occasional surprise, presented by Sara Mohr-Pietsch. 9.0 Essential Classics. With Sarah Walker. Including the Essential CD: Five Italian Oboe Concertos played by Nicholas Daniel, performances by pianist Noriko Ogawa, and this weeks guest, author Anne Fine. 12.0 Composer Of The Week: Big Band. Donald Macleod explores the decline of swing and the birth of big band bebop, and Guy Barker discusses his experiences of playing with the great

Secret State 10pm, Channel 4


Second of four parts in this is political thriller. Dawkins (Gabriel Byrne) is now installed as the new prime e minister as the search goes es

Radio 4

92.4-94.6 MHz; 198kHz


6.0 Today. 8.31 (LW) Yesterday In Parliament. 8.58 (LW) Weather 9.0 Midweek. Presented by Libby Purves. 9.45 (LW) Daily Service. 9.45 (FM)

The Hour, BBC2

22 The Guardian 14.11.12

Full TV listings For comprehensive programme details see the Guardian Guide every Saturday or go to tvlistings.guardian.co.uk/

Channel 5
6.0pm Home And Away (R) (S) (AD) Romeo has a setback. 6.30 5 News At 6.30 (S)

BBC3

BBC4

More4
6.20pm Come Dine With Me (R) (S) Theres a car-themed evening as the dinnerparty challenge heads for Stockport.

Atlantic
6.0pm House (R) A meningitis epidemic hits the hospital.

Other channels
E4 6.0pm The Big Bang Theory. Raj lusts after a girl at a party. 6.30 The Big Bang Theory. Leonard and Sheldons at is burgled. 7.0 Hollyoaks. The village reels in the aftermath of the double wedding disaster. 7.30 How I Met Your Mother. Ted sets up his own architecture company. 8.0 The Big Bang Theory. Leonard confronts a bully from his past. 8.30 2 Broke Girls. Caroline tries to make extra money by taking another job. 9.0 The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is encouraged to feign interest in Amys career. 9.30 The Work Experience. Dominic gives one of Grades dresses to Nikki Grahame. 10.0 The Inbetweeners. The gang goes on a eld trip to Swanage. 10.35 The Inbetweeners. Will is given a work experience placement at a garage. 11.05 Rude Tube: All Things Weird And Wonderful. Internet videos, including two camels in a car. Film4 6.55pm Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian. Fantasy comedy sequel, starring Ben Stiller. 9.0 Once Upon A Time In The Midlands. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle. 11.05 The Scouting Book For Boys. Premiere. Drama, starring Thomas Turgoose. FX 6.0pm Leverage. The team confronts a fraudulent adoption agency. 7.0 NCIS. The team gets close to tracking down a Mexican drug kingpin. 8.0 NCIS. The team searches for a kidnapped girl. 9.0 The Walking Dead. Merle makes a request of the Governor. 10.0 American Horror Story: Asylum. A raging storm approaches Briarcli. 11.0 The Booth At The End. The Mans patrons realise he is beginning to live up to his end of the bargain. 11.30 Family Guy. Lois becomes a model. 12.0 Family Guy. Peter befriends actor James Woods. ITV2 6.35pm Youve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates camcorder calamities. 7.0 Gossip Girl. Blairs mother, Eleanor, gives her an ultimatum. 8.0 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records. Incredible and peculiar record-breaking attempts. 8.30 Youve Been Framed! Harry Hill narrates 1.0 Orphans In Waiting 1.30 White Heat 2.0 At Home With The Hardys 2.30 The Party Line 3.0 Daniel Deronda 4.0 90 By 90 The Full Set 4.15 HMS Surprise 5.0 Ring Around The Bath 5.30 The Alan Davies Show camcorder calamities. 9.0 Girlfri3nds. The contest concludes. Last in the series. 10.0 Im A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Now! With Joe Swash and Laura Whitmore. 11.05 Switch. Graces new relationship appears to be going well. Sky1 6.0pm Futurama. Fry nds himself the ruler of an alien world. 6.30 The Simpsons. Marges driving habits come under scrutiny. 7.0 The Simpsons. With the guest voice of Joan Rivers. 7.30 The Simpsons. Lisa develops a crush on a teacher. 8.0 The Glee Project. The hopefuls demonstrate their fearlessness. 9.0 Last Resort. Chaplin heads the search for three missing crew members. 10.0 Fringe. The freedom ghters cross paths with former boss Phillip Broyles. 11.0 Ross Kemp: The Invisible Wounded. Post-traumatic stress disorder among ex-service personnel. 12.0 Trollied. Gavin struggles to nd Lorraines replacement. Sky Arts 1 6.0pm First Love. Stephen Mangan performs at the Cambridge Folk Festival. 7.0 Work Of Art: The Next Great Artist. Creating artworks incorporating car parts. 8.0 Diana Her Story: The Book That Changed Everything. Andrew Morton discusses his 1992 biography of the Princess of Wales. 9.0 Nations Best Am Dram. New series. Competition to nd the UKs best amateur dramatic society. 10.0 Becoming Queen. The story of the rock bands career. 11.20 Queen Rock Montreal. A 1981 concert by the band. TCM 7.25pm Thunder Over The Plains. Western, starring Randolph Scott. 9.0 US Marshals. Thriller sequel, starring Tommy Lee Jones. 11.25 The Jacket. Psychological thriller, starring Adrien Brody.

7.0 Emergency Bikers (R) (S) Paramedics go to the aid of a child whos been knocked down. (Followed by 5 News Update.)

7.0pm Young Apprentice (R) (S) The hopefuls have to publish a new cookbook and pitch it to Waterstones.

7.0pm World News Today (S) Weather 7.30 Timothy Spall: All At Sea (R) (S) (AD) Timothy and wife Shane put in at Whitby and explore the towns links to classic horror novel Dracula.

7.30 Hughs 3 Good Things (S) Recipes include roast chicken pieces with tarragon and tomatoes, and a salad of cold chicken with green beans and black olives.

7.0 House (R) A patient suers from recurring strokes.

8.0 The Removal Men (S) A team has to move a 200-year-old bed in a medieval castle. (Followed by 5 News At 9.)

8.0 Gavin & Stacey (R) (S) (AD) Stacey looks forward to a trip to see her family. 8.30 Gavin & Stacey (R) (S) (AD) Theres tension after the newlyweds spend the day house-hunting.

8.0 Britains Best Drives (R) (S) Richard Wilson explores the Wye Valley, said to be the birthplace of British tourism. 8.30 Tales From The Wild Wood (S) Rob Penn learns how to make charcoal. 9.0 Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner (S) Clarissa Dickson Wright charts the history of lunch in Britain, much shaped by the Earl of Sandwichs intervention in the 18th century. 10.0 Getting On (S) A mix-up with the oncology Christmas card competition causes problems. 10.30 Pavlopetri The City Beneath The Waves (R) (S) (AD) Exploring the worlds oldest submerged city. 11.30 Apples: British To The Core (R) (S) (AD) Chris Beardshaw nds out how British gardeners have contributed to the history of the fruit..

8.0 Sarah Beenys Selling Houses (R) (S) In Beckenham, Sarah oers home-selling advice to the owners of a converted church, a 19th-century cottage and a spacious maisonette.

8.0 Richard E Grants Hotel Secrets (R) The actor meets Heidi Fleiss as he discovers stories of scandal linked to the worlds most famous hotels.

9.0 Erin Brockovich (Steven Soderbergh, 2000) (S) A single mother becomes a campaigning legal worker. Oscar-winning biographical drama, starring Julia Roberts and Albert Finney.

9.0 Unsafe Sex In The City (S) Just four weeks after being diagnosed with HIV, a patient thinks that he may have syphilis too. Last in the series.

9.0 24 Hours In A&E (R) (S) A patient with schizophrenia neglects to take his diabetes medication and has to be admitted to Kings. Last in the series.

9.0 The Sopranos (R) (S) AJ steals sacramental wine and shows up drunk at a gym class. Tony remembers his own childhood.

10.0 Unzipped (S) Danny Dyer and Laura Whitmore join Greg James and Russell Kane for another look at contemporary life. 10.45 Family Guy (R) (S) Brian accidentally sells Stewies favourite teddy at a garage sale. 11.45 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (R) (S) A woman in the midst of an acrimonious divorce accuses her husband of rape. 11.10 Family Guy (R) (S) Peter meets his biological father. 11.30 American Dad! (R) (S) Stan takes pills to stay awake all night. 11.50 American Dad! (R) (S) Roger starts spending time with another family.
3.0 Money Box Live. With Paul Lewis. 3.30 All In The Mind. Research at Queen Mary University of London into the subject of gaydar. (R) 4.0 Thinking Allowed. The nature and causes of the English summer riots in 2011. 4.30 The Media Show. Stories from the fastchanging media industry. 5.0 PM. With Eddie Mair. 5.57 Weather 6.0 Six OClock News 6.30 Count Arthur Strongs Radio Show! The former variety star goes shing. (R) 7.0 The Archers. Emma hits rock bottom. 7.15 Front Row. A review of The Eect, a new play by Lucy Prebble. 7.45 Children In Need: Jesss Story. By Nell Leyshon. 8.0 The Moral Maze. With

10.0 One Born Every Minute (R) (S) (AD) A fashion designer, who skipped antenatal classes so as not to hear distressing stories of pain, opts for a water birth.

10.05 Boardwalk Empire (R) (S) (AD) Eli hosts a family gathering for Easter Sunday. Gyp Rosetti asks for a blessing from don Joe Masseria.

11.10 Embarrassing Bodies (R) (S) Doctor Pixie McKenna treats a man who has an oozing wound on his bottom. Plus a forensic examination of the portable toilets at a music festival.

11.20 Dont Sit In The Front Row (R) (S) With Frank Skinner, Andrew Maxwell and Susan Calman. Presented by Jack Dee. 11.50 The Sopranos (R) (S) (Shown at 9.0pm.)

The Scouting Book For Boys, Film4


World Brieng 3.30 Outlook 4.0 News 4.06 HARDtalk 4.30 Sport Today 5.0 World Brieng 5.30 World Business Report 6.0 World Have Your Say 7.0 World Brieng 7.30 Health Check 7.50 From Our Own Correspondent 8.0 News 8.06 HARDtalk 8.30 The Strand 8.50 Witness 9.0 Newshour 10.0 News 10.06 Outlook 10.30 World Business Report 11.0 World Brieng 11.30 Business Daily 11.50 Witness 12.0 World Brieng 12.30 Health Check 12.50 Sports News 1.0 World Brieng 1.30 World Business Report 1.50 From Our Own Correspondent 2.0 News 2.06 HARDtalk 2.30 Outlook 3.0 Newsday 3.30 The Strand 3.50 Witness 4.0 Newsday 4.30 Health Check 4.50 From Our Own Correspondent 5.0 Newsday

Book Of The Week: Former People. By Douglas Smith. 10.0 Womans Hour. 11.0 From Worcester With Love. Peter White revisits his boarding school for the blind to meet current pupils. 11.30 Mr And Mrs Smith. The couple discuss Annabelles mothers 60th birthday party. (R) 12.0 News 12.04 You And Yours. Consumer aairs. 12.57 Weather 1.0 The World At One. Presented by Martha Kearney. 1.45 In Pursuit Of The Ridiculous. Investigating rare orchids. 2.0 The Archers. It is Peggys birthday. (R) 2.15 Afternoon Drama: Two Pipe Problems. Sandy revisits his birthplace in Greenock.

Michael Portillo, Kenan Malik, Giles Fraser and Claire Fox. 8.45 Four Thought. The causes of gang culture amoung young Somali men. 9.0 (LW) Frontiers. Theories on gender and ageing. 9.0 (FM) Frontiers. Theories on gender and ageing. 9.30 Midweek. Presented by Libby Purves. 9.59 Weather 10.0 The World Tonight. With Robin Lustig. 10.45 Book At Bedtime: The Liars Gospel. By Naomi Alderman. Abridged by Sally Marmion. 11.0 Irish Micks And Legends. Humorous contemporary versions of Irish folk tales. 11.15 Living With Mother. Comedy drama, starring Tom Goodman-Hill and Alison Steadman.

11.30 Today In Parliament. Political round-up. 12.0 News And Weather 12.30 Book Of The Week: Former People. By Douglas Smith. (R) 12.48 Shipping Forecast

Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.0 Orphans In Waiting 6.30 White Heat 7.0 The Alan Davies Show 7.30 Gloomsbury 8.0 Hancocks Half Hour 8.30 Im Sorry Ill Read That Again 9.0 At Home With The Hardys 9.30 The Party Line 10.0 Daniel Deronda 11.0 Chattering 11.15 HMS Surprise 12.0 Hancocks Half Hour 12.30 Im Sorry Ill Read That Again 1.0 Orphans In Waiting 1.30 White Heat 2.0 The Color Purple

2.15 Laurence LlewelynBowens Men Of Fashion 2.30 Gods Architect: Pugin And The Building Of Romantic Britain 2.45 Other Peoples Children 3.0 Daniel Deronda 4.0 The 4 OClock Show 5.0 Ring Around The Bath 5.30 Radio Reunited 5.35 The Alan Davies Show 6.0 The Price Of Fear 6.30 The Woman In Black 7.0 Hancocks Half Hour 7.30 Im Sorry Ill Read That Again 8.0 Orphans In Waiting 8.30 White Heat 9.0 Chattering 9.15 HMS Surprise 10.0 Comedy Club: Gloomsbury 10.30 Just Plain Gardening 10.45 The Consultants 11.0 The Hare Lane Diaries 11.30 Laura Solon: Talking And Not Talking 12.0 The Price Of Fear 12.30 The Woman In Black

World Service

Digital and 198 kHz after R4


8.30 Business Daily 8.50 Sports News 9.0 News 9.06 HARDtalk 9.30 The Strand 9.50 Witness 10.0 World Update 11.0 World Have Your Say 11.30 Click 11.50 From Our Own Correspondent 12.0 News 12.06 Outlook 12.30 The Strand 12.50 Witness 1.0 News 1.06 HARDtalk 1.30 Business Daily 1.50 Sports News 2.0 Newshour 3.0

14.11.12 The Guardian 23

Puzzles

On the web For tips and all manner of crossword debates go to guardian.co.uk/crosswords

Quick crossword no 13,266


Across
5 Chest bone not attached to the sternum (8,3) 7 + (4) 8 Typical example (8) 9 Viral disease in children (7) 11 Irish poet and dramatist, d. 1939 (5) 13 Here it is! (5) 14 Inadequate (7) 16 Nonconforming (8) 17 Jacobs twin brother (4) 18 It holds a computers central printed circuit (11)
5 1 2 3 4 6

Sudoku no 2,344

2 4 9 6 1 4 2 2 8 1
Want more? Access over 4,000 archive puzzles at guardian.co.uk/crossword. Buy all four Guardian quick crosswords books for only 20 inc UK p&p (save 7.96). Visit guardianbooks.co.uk or call 0330 333 6846.

10 12

11

1 7

7 5

13 15 16

14

17

Down
1 Flip (coin) (4) 2 Cork (7) 3 Growl in a threatening manner (5) 4 Level of steepness (8) 5 Partition in case, creating a concealed space (5,6) 6 Everyday (3-8) 10 Inwardly-directed compassion (4-4) 12 Kind of kangaroo (7) 15 Group of eight musicians (5) 17 Electronic marketplace (4)
18

1 4 3 7
B OP I UC K A X RE AQUE U L T I ON E I C TON O AK A C I RTH A O YOTO K S EEZE

6 2
2 4 9 5 1 6 3 8 7

6 4 5 9
Solution to no 2,343
7 1 5 9 8 3 4 2 6 8 6 3 2 4 7 1 5 9 4 8 7 3 2 5 6 9 1 1 5 6 7 9 8 2 4 3 9 3 2 4 6 1 5 7 8 5 2 1 8 3 9 7 6 4 3 7 8 6 5 4 9 1 2 6 9 4 1 7 2 8 3 5

Solution no 13,265
C O BWE H U N I NNE S P K U P R OWE Y F F I R G E RAB I D A A F PARS L P G A AVENG R A S S P EB E REB R I EY K E E FR
Medium. Fill the grid so that each row, column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable version at guardian.co.uk/sudoku

Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0039 or text GUARDIANQ followed by a space, the day and date the crossword appeared another space and the CLUE reference to 85010 (e.g GUARDIANQ Wednesday24 Down20). Calls cost 77p a minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. Texts cost 50p a clue plus standard network charges. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from a BT landline).

Stuck? For help call 0906 751 0036. Calls cost 77p a minute from a BT Landline. Calls from other networks may vary and mobiles will be considerably higher. Service supplied by ATS. Call 0844 836 9769 for customer service (charged at local rate, 2p a min from a BT landline). Free tough puzzles at www.puzzler. com/guardian

Doonesbury If...

24 The Guardian 14.11.12

Steve Bell

Garry Trudeau