Marriage Counselling in a Changing Society Author(s): Ernest W. Burgess Reviewed work(s): Source: Marriage and Family Living, Vol.

5, No. 1, Winter (Feb., 1943), pp. 8-10 Published by: National Council on Family Relations Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/347695 . Accessed: 03/10/2012 08:30
Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of the Terms & Conditions of Use, available at . http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp

.
JSTOR is a not-for-profit service that helps scholars, researchers, and students discover, use, and build upon a wide range of content in a trusted digital archive. We use information technology and tools to increase productivity and facilitate new forms of scholarship. For more information about JSTOR, please contact support@jstor.org.

National Council on Family Relations is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to Marriage and Family Living.

http://www.jstor.org

Marriage

in Counselling

Changing

Society
By ERNESTW. BURGESS
Universityof Chicago THIRTY years ago the Americanpublic was tremendouslyalarmedat the problemof divorce. Today intelligent personsare much moreconcernedwith than with divorce. What is the causeof this sigmarriage nificantshift in emphasis?The divorcerate has continued to increase. It is now over twice as high as it was in 90o6. There is every indicationthat it will continueto increase. In fact, a statistician,writing in I930, predictedthat if the divorce rate maintainedthe consistent averageannualincreaseof 3 percent-an increasingrate like that of comr pound interest-by the year I965 there would be one divorcefor every two marriages. The chief reasonwhy people are now moreinterested than in divorceis becauseof the discoverythat in marriage is the chief cause of divorce. That is not to be marriage taken flippantlyin the sense that if there were no marin riagestherewould be no divorces. It is to be understood the sound sense that divorcesariseout of ill-advisedmarriages. Fromthat standpointthe wise policy is not to deal with divorceitself but with the causes of divorce which and which can be best dealt with are rooted in marriage and in the early years of marriage. It is beforemarriage often too late to solve the problemsof marriage when the husbandor the wife or both are on the brinkof divorce. In the fieldof marriage elsewherepreventionis easier, and and moreeconomical moreeffectivethan cure. The readersof Marriage and Family Living need no argumentsto be convincedof the importanceof marriage counselling. Yet it is well to see marriage counsellingin the perspectiveof our changingsociety and to gain a fresh appreciationof its significancein relationto the nature and magnitude the problem of which it attacks. First of all, marriage counsellingis essentialin modern society becauseof the great changesnow taking place in the family. Family life today is in transition from the authoritarian familyof the colonialperiod to the companform that is now emerging. In the authoritarian ionship familythe husbandand fatherwas dominant;the wife and mother had a subordinaterole and children "should be seen and not heard." Marriage,if not arranged parents by was largelyinfluencedby them. Traditionsand customs of the parents were carriedover often under the supervision of the parentsand parents-in-laws the marriage into of sons and daughters. The companionship type of family is based upon affec-

tion, congeniality, and mutuality of interests-husband and wife are assumedto be equal and children as they grow olderare given moreand morevoice in familyaffairs. The young people,on marrying, not turn to the parents do for advice. They feel that they are on their own in marriageand wish to controltheir destiny. The moreintelligent of them are increasingly anxious for all available scientificknowledgeand informationabout marriage and life. It is the demandof these young people for family knowledgethat has led to the introductionof courses on for and preparation marriage familylife in our collegesand universities,and to the establishmentof centers for marriagecounselling. In the second place,educationfor familylife and marriage counsellingare the two big resourceson which we must depend to assist the family in this period of transition. Socialchangewas never morerapidthan it is today. Modern conveniencesand labor-saving devices have comthe home. They have given both the wife pletelychanged and childrena surplusof leisuretime without as yet fully providingwholesomesubstitutes for the discardedhousehold activities of the past. The automobile,the motion picture and the radio are destroying the old-time neighborhoodwith its primarycontrols of conduct and have usheredus all into a world society in which as yet we do not feel altogetherat home. Is it any wonderthat marriage the familyunderthe and impact of these changes manifeststhe instability that is indicatedby the increasingdivorcerate? Third: the primaryobjectiveof marriage counsellingis to promotean increasein humanhappinessand personality development. Where else have we a greateropportunity to reducehumanmiseryand increasehumanhappiness than by improving familyrelationships?The findings of research psychiatrists,psychologistsand sociologists by are in complete agreement that the happiness of the parents' marriageand wholesome parent-childrelationships are the predominantfactors in the emotionaland spiritualdevelopmentof children. In the fourth place,the need for marriage counsellingis even greaterat this momentthan it has ever been in the past. The war-timesituation has accentuatedold-time and introducednew ones. Young problemsof marriage peopleare confusedand uncertainas to whether to marry now or to wait until after the war. There is no one genA N F

MARRIAGE AND FAMILYLIVING

eralanswer that can be appliedto all cases. The circumof stancesand the personality eachcouplemust be individually considered. The marriagecounsellor can make a great contribution in preventing hasty and ill-advised unions. Even more importantis the advice and council that it is essentialto give to the wives of menin the armed forcesin meeting their new and perplexingproblemsof a war-timesituation. After the war the need for marriage and family counselling will be even greater. It is then that we will have the finalreckoning with the effectsof hasty andhurried-up of marriages the war-timeperiod. These areof fourtypes. that First, therearethe hasty marriages were enteredinto to avoid the draft or to delay entrance into the army. unionsare those where the couple Second,the hurried-up is marryingearlierthan originallyplannedbecauseof the induction or enlistmentof the young man. Third, there arethe war campmarriages the homesickyouth and the of girl attracted by the glamourof the uniform. Fourth, there are the over-seasmarriageswith Australian, Irish and Englishgirls. Research has shown that marriagesupon short acquaintanceturn out unhappilymuch more often on the averagethan those where the couple has had the opportunity to know each other well and make adjustments beforeratherthan after marriage. In additionto all these there are the unfortunateeffects of separation.In certaincases absencemaymakethe heart growfonder,but in manyothers it is just as likelyto cause the light of love to glow fainter. Inevitablya certainproportion of couples will grow apart, particularlywhere there have not been sufficient bases of common experiences and mutual understandings ensure the permato nence of the union underwar-timeconditions. All these factors taken together will result in an enormousincreasein problems marriage of afterthe war. They will throw an additionalbig load of responsibilityupon marriage counsellingcenters. We should preparenow to meet not only the emergenciesof the war-time situation but the even greaterproblemsthat are certainto arisein the post-warperiod. There can be no questionfromthe survey of facts of the need for educationfor family living and for marriage and are our first reliance in dealing family counselling. They with the factorsmakingfor the instability of the modern familyand for affording young people the knowledgeand assistancenecessaryfor successfulmarriages.The movement for marriage counsellinghas now reachedthe stage whererapidexpansioncan be expected. Communities are Columopeningmarriage counsellingcenters; Pittsburgh, bus and Toledo have either establishedor are in the process of establishingcenters. Other cities are considering doing likewise. Consequently,a question of currentabsorbing interest is in regardto the best planfor the organizationof the center.

If we areto give adviceto a communityconsideringthe counsellingservice about the ideal opening of a marriage formof organization, what shouldbe our answer? It is always interestingand significantto raisethe question what would be an ideal plan beforewe considerthe question what is the most practicaltype of action in a given communityunderits existing localconditions. This will to procedure enableus in new communities go as close to the idealarrangement local conditionspermit. as In discussingthe ideal plan of organization the marof servicethree questionsareinvolved: first, riagecounselling the auspices;second,the scope of activities;and third, the personnel. In the cities which have establishedor are establishing marriage counselling centers the crucial question is whether the center be underindependentauspicesor be a departmentof activity under an existing agency. There are at present many organizations with an interest and a stakein marriage counselling. They are either carryingon service moreor less effectivelyor have aspiracounselling tions of enteringinto this field. Among these agenciesare churches, federationsof churches, schools and colleges, family welfare agencies, legal-aidsocieties, birth control centers, social hygiene associations,medicalclinics, childeducationservices. guidancecenters,andfamily-life In my judgment,each of these has a responsibilityfor marriage counselling and should be encouraged and stimulatedto continue and strengthenits work. The real question, however, that we are consideringis whether it is more feasiblefor one of these agenciesto assumecommunity leadershipin marriage counsellingor to have this communityleadershipundertakenunder the auspices of an independentagency. There are two argumentswhich militate against the success of assigningthe leadershipin marriage counsellingto any existing agency. In the first place,if an existingagencyassumesthis function,it means that the activity of marriage to counsellingis subordinated the principalfunction of the agency. In the secondplace, the scope of marriage counsellingis likely to be restricted if it is carriedon by any one of the existing agencies. For example,family case work agencies are admirablyfitted, through experiencein dealing with personaladjustments in family life, for marriage counselling. Nevertheless, in the eyes of the public, the familywelfareagencyis synonymous with economicdependency,which preventsother groupsfromavailingthemselvesof its counsellingservices. The center under the auspices of the Federation of Churcheswould tend to be confinedto the membership of churchesin the Federation. One under the auspicesof a birth controlcenter might not be patronizedby those opposed to birth control. The ideal arrangementthen would seem to be the establishmentof marriagecounselling as an independentagency with the cooperationin the fullest degree of all the agencies and groups in the communityinterestedin marriage counseling. 9

WINTER, 1943

What should be the scope of activities of a marriage counselling center which would work in intimate and active cooperationwith the agencies of the community which areinterestedand engagedin marriage counselling? First of all, it should be chargedwith the responsibilityof leadershipin the developmentof marriage counsellingin the community. In cooperationwith organizations and it should attempt to raise the standardsof counagencies selling service in the community. This may be done in variousways, throughcourses,conferences,roundtables, librariesand publications. In the second place, it should be equipped to give marriagecounselling service to the moredifficultcases in need of pre-marital post-marital and information advice. In the third place, it and knowledge, should stimulate,encourageand assist agenciesand individuals in the communityin giving or in being prepared to give marriage counsellingin less difficultcases. One of the chief problemshere is to develop sufficient understandingand insight in the minister,physicianor teacher so that he may be able to discriminate between the cases with minor problemswith which he is equippedto deal and the more serious problemswhich should be referred to the centralmarriage counsellingagency. What is importanthere is to get the all-overpicture of the community-wide need for marriage counsellingand a of organizationor relationships between agencies plan which will best provide services commensurate with the need. Organizationis important but in all probability are relationships even moreimportant. The problemis to a vision of a complete,all-roundprogram then for and get each interested agency or group of individualsto see its relationshipto the entire project. There are, of course, difficultiesto be overcome,divers points of view; vested interests, claimsof rival disciplines,conflict of personalities. But these tend to lose their divisive significance we if perceivethe communityneed as a whole and the picture of a complete plan for meeting this need. In fact, these differences may becomesourcesof strengthas they are ininto a program commonaction. of corporated The personnelof a marriage counsellingcenter is of ut(Continuedfrom page 7)

most importance. Marriage counselling is an emerging profession. At the present time, marriagecounsellors have come into this new field with the most varied backgroundsin trainingand experience;education,home economics,medicine,psychiatry,psychology,socialworkand sociology. All these disciplinesand others that might be mentionedhave researchfindingsapplicableto the problems of marriage counselling. In the future we are likely to have marriage counsellors who have had all-round trainin coursesfromall these fields even though they may ing be specialistsalsoin one of these fields. At the presenttime it is highly desirablethat the staff of a marriagecounsellingservice should have specialists of upon its staffor availableas consultantsrepresentatives all these fields. At any rate, the materialavailablein marriagecounsellingshould be derivedfromthe best thinking of workersin these differentdisciplines. Equallyimportantin the field of marriagecounselling as it involves personalrelationshipare the qualifications in characterand personality of the staff of the central counsellingservice. It is evident, of course,that I have attemptedto outline here an ideal set-up. No existing marriagecounselling service could be expected to realizeit, completely. Real progresshas been made, since the opening of the first counsellingcenterin I930, in achievingthis goal. There is a rapidly growing literatureupon the problemsand techniquesof counselling,some of which has been basedupon case records of the centers. But as yet no systematic analyticalstudy has been madeof the work of the twentyfive or moreexisting centers. At this time of national emergency, when marriage counsellingis moreimperativelyneeded than ever before, marriagecounselling services should not be contracted but ratherexpanded. This is only hard-headed, commonsense community policy. Otherwise, if we allow the accentuatedin war time and in the problemsof marriage post-warreadjustment period to get out of hand we will have to pay the price in humanunhappiness and personal maladjustment. they are. But, nevertheless,having the beliefs that they do the men are left with no other basis for formulating their own moralbehaviorand their attitudes toward their women. Likewisethe currentsensationaltales about the moralityof armycampareasmay be extremelyoverdrawn or even basically erroneous,but if women accept these views as if true, they becomerealities upon the basis of which womens' attitudes toward men in service are formedand becomeconsiderations the kind of "adjustin ments" these women make in their own behavior "for the duration." "The imaginationswhich people have of each other," accurateor inaccurateare "the solid facts of humanlife."

of the time. Therefore,as in so manysocial processesthe analyst of domesticityfinds himself better informedas to the causesand manifestations domesticdiscordthan he of finds himself capable of suggesting practicablemeasures for the diminutionof these destructiveprocesses. One final interpretive point should perhaps be made moreexplicit to the person unfamiliar with a basicsociohumanbehavior: Mistaken or logicalprincipleregarding unfoundedbeliefsarereal to the personwho accepts them as true and bases his behavioron those beliefs. For example,it may be true that fianceesand wives actuallyare true to their mento a fargreaterextent than the menthink
I0 IO

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIVING