January 23, 2009 Volume 125, Issue 13
The Scarlet and Black
Swim teams return from sunny Florida to host invitational
Swimmer Paul Gagne ‘09 mentally prepares himself for last weekend’s Grinnell Invitation Swim Meet. LAWRENCE SUMOLONG
SGA gains experience, direction
BY J. F RANCIS BUSE
In the Oct 10 issue of the S&B, a quarter-year review of
SGA showed an organization hampered by inexperience, yet
promising increased productivity, as members grew accustomed
to their roles in SGA. With the fall semester over and spring
semester underway, SGA has excelled in certain areas and
struggled in others.
A general lack of experience continued to be cited as the
main problem throughout the remainder of last semester. “I
don’t think there was good leadership or direction,” said Jama-
land Senator Dylan O’Donoghue ’11. “And there wasn’t a lot
of experience.”
At the start of the year, the 10 members of Cabinet had a
combined two years of SGA experience, and only three of the
18 elected senators had previous experience on Joint Board.
For the majority of the year, opinions were few and far be-
tween during Joint Board sessions, which, according to Looseh-
ead Senator Phil Hagen ’10, decreased from an average length
of over three hours in ’07-’08 to about an hour and a half this
Sheree Andrews, budget stringency and Wu-Tang
A quick retrospective of fall semester 2008, what happened on campus while you were abroad
BY A RI A NISFELD & DAVID L OGAN
Whether you were abroad in France, the past six months,
forgot over winter break or were simply too drunk too pay at-
tention to last semester’s news, the S&B is here to help. What
follows is a summary of last semester’s highlights, from the fi-
nancial crisis and the election to GZA and Stephen Briscoe
shirts.
Student Life: One of the more contentious issues of last
semester centered on the departure of Sheree Andrews, the for-
mer assistant dean and director of Residence Life, and other
perceived changes in Student Affairs. Student anxiety, which
was primarily directed at recently hired Vice President of Stu-
dent Affairs Houston Dougharty and Dean of Students Travis
New semester brings a
Inside 1 change in Student Af-
fairs as Smounker RLC
departs....................p. 3
First College Newspaper West of the Mississippi
Grinnell College
For story, see p. 8
past semester. “The absolute lack of contention over any issue is
kind of shocking,” Hagen said. “I don’t know how many times
there has actually been a question of how the votes actually
going to end up.”
SGA Vice President of Academic Affairs Julie Hoye ’09
said the minimal discussion at Joint Board raised questions as
to whether the meetings were for genuinely addressing student
needs or simply passing SGA-borne resolutions. “In years past
we’ve had the asshole or the devil’s advocate that sits there and
gets people thinking,” Hoye said. “That has been a missing
component of [last semester’s] Joint Board.”
But some were quick to point out that this year’s SGA Cab-
inet and Joint Board arrived with a purposefully more relaxed
attitude than last year, and that comparisons between this year’s
and the previous year’s SGA, headed by former SGA President
Megan Goering ’08, were unfair. “A lot of people really didn’t
like last year—they thought it was too aggressive and too con-
tentious,” said Hagen. “The cabinet came in saying they were
SGA, see p. 2
Greene, was piqued in response to rumors about changes to the
alcohol policy and the structure of Student Staff, and a per-
ceived lack of transparency in the administrative decision-mak-
ing process. Those anxieties reached their height after sixteen
faculty members submitted a damning letter to the editor in the
S&B in which they condemned actions surrounding Andrews’
release.
After an outpouring of student frustration, SGA Cabinet
organized a campus-wide open forum at which administra-
tors fielded questions from students and faculty. The forum
debunked some of the rumors around campus and staked out
some common ground, but ended on a sour note when Dough-
arty and letter signatories Ralph Savarese, English, and Victoria
Brown, History, exchanged pointed barbs, accusing one another
Read how “Hilary Clin-
2 ton Got Me Pregnant”
in a review of the one-
woman show.......p. 4
3 Jose Castillo speaks
Grinnell, IA
Elena Bernal promoted
to new vice president
Position signals commitment to diver-
sity and achievement, Osgood said
BY M ANDO MONTANO
Though the majority of recent news coming out of the
President’s office has focused on budget problems and spend-
ing cuts, over break there was rare news of expansion.
The week before the start of spring semester, the College
announced the addition of a new vice president position with
the promotion of Elena Bernal ’94 to vice president of Diversity
and Achievement. Bernal, who was serving as special assistant
to the president for Diversity and Achievement, will change
more in title than in role.
“We’re not changing the job very much, we’re recognizing
that things are going well and giving her a title that fits with
the rest of the liberal arts college,” said President Russell K.
Osgood.
Bernal’s role as vice president is similar to her previous post
as special assistant. Bernal continues to oversee campus diver-
sity enrichment programs such as Posse and Grinnell Diversity
Leaders Program, to work with faculty in hiring and maintain-
ing diverse faculty, and to set up administrative accountability to
ensure that admissions engages in multicultural recruitment.
Bernal said that while her role may not seem to change much,
it represents a step towards an increased emphasis on diversity.
“It’s not one particular thing I’m doing,” Bernal said of her po-
sition. “But
it’s moni-
t o r i n g
“We’re not changing the job very much,
across sev-
eral areas, we’re recognizing that things are going
how di-
versity and well and giving here a title that fits with
equality the rest of the liberal arts college.”
come into
play
campus.”
on
Russell K. Osgood
T h e President
biggest
change in
B e r n a l ’s
position is that she will now supervise the Office of Institu-
tional Research, which is conducting research for the Campus
Climate Project, an investigation of student, staff and faculty
attitudes regarding diversity on campus. Bernal previously was
the head of Institutional Research at Bryn Mawr College in
Pennsylvania before she came to work at Grinnell last year.
Bernal will continue to work as the administrative liaison
to students for the Washington, D.C. and Los Angeles Posses.
“She’s been sort of a stronghold for me,” said L.A. Posse mem-
ber Steven Cross ’11.
Osgood said that with Bernal’s promotion he hopes Bernal’s
will bolster the environment of diversity on campus. “Successful
diversity is a culture in which people are comfortable with the
differences between them and learn from them,” he said.
of dishonesty.
In addition to the furor over administrative changes, the
campus saw a record number of alcohol hospitalizations, a row
over funding a proposed student trip to protest the School of
the Americas, and the untimely passing of former student Chris
Hade.
On lighter notes, the College began exploring the possibility
of the cheaper and environmentally friendly trayless dining. The
school also began distributing t-shirts honoring Director of Se-
curity Stephen Briscoe, and popular pizzeria Jimbo’s reinstated
its delivery service after a brief hiatus attributed to financial dif-
ficulties.
Financial: Amid great upheavals in the financial markets,
Semester, see p. 3
Spanish Professor Grinnell basketball
of his life, students
and muscle tees...p. 5
4 teams face off against
conference foes, lay
up a goose egg.....p. 6
2 edited by Ari Anisfeld and J. Francis Buse
anisfeld@grinnell.edu; busejohn@grinnell.edu
S N&B EWS
Plans back online without Secrets
January 23, 2009

World Headlines
• China has censored videos of President Barack Obama’s
inauguration speech. Censors removed the words “and com-
munism” from Obama’s mention of “facing down facism
and communism” in official translations, as well as Obama’s
swipes at countries who “blame their society’s ills on the
West” and “those who cling to power through corruption
and deceit and the silencing of dissent.” English versions of
the speech were not changed from their original form.
• Former Cuban President Fidel Castro wrote in an opin-
ion column that President Barack Obama had “noble in-
tentions.” Current Cuban President and Castro’s brother,
Raul Castro said “Obama seems like a good man, I wish
him luck.” The compliments to the recently inaugurated
president come after Obama pledged to close the American
military base and prison at Guantanamo Bay and improve
Cuban-American relations, but said he would not lift the
46-year-old embargo on the communist state.
• Cyber security experts have detected a malicious worm
named Conficker or Downadup, which they say is spread
by USB memory devices, such as mp3 players and flash-
drives. In a sample of 2 million computers, the virus was
found on 6 percent of all computers, and has been reported
in 83 countries.
National Headlines
• Two parents in Wisconsin were charged with reckless ho-
micide days after refusing for religious reasons to take their
dying daughter, Kara Neumann, to the hospital. The couple,
followers of Unleavened Bread Ministries—an internet-
based church that preaches faith-based healing—kept the
undiagnosed diabetic 11-year-old at home until a relative
called authorities. If convicted, Dale and Leilani Neumann
could face up to 25 years in prison and a $100,000 fine.
Professor Shawn Peters, Religion, University of Wisconsin-
Madison, said the case will likely set a precedent for similar
cases around the country. Over 300 children have died due
to parental religiously motivated objection to health-care
in the past 25 years, according to an Iowa-based advocacy
group.
Iowa Headlines
•A police chief from Sutherland, a northwestern Iowa town
of 700, was convicted of third-degree theft on Wednes-
day after stealing and selling hogs from and to neighbor-
ing farms. Chief David Johannsen, who made more than
$7,000 selling the hogs to a rival livestock company, is on
unpaid leave from his position at the Sutherland Police De-
partment.
—Compiled by J. Francis Buse and Ari Anisfeld
After a cease-and-desist, Secrets and Notes conspicuously absent from website
BY NEIL F INNEGAN to be communicated, but it was not libel/slander. Also, it was
It’s no secret—the popular cyber-forum site GrinnellPlans not about particular content, but about alleged practices.” Atha
is incomplete. declined to comment further.
On Dec 15, Ian Atha ’09, who owns the server space host- Root-Wiley declined to comment on the content of the
ing Plans, disabled access to the website after receiving a cease- cease-and-desist notice or whether it was related to Secrets
and-desist notice. Three days later, on Dec 18, Plans returned. or Notes. “During the time that [Plans] is down, we’re going
Although the core of Plans was up and run- to be looking at the terms of use,” Root-Wiley
ning, most users quickly noticed that the oft- said. “Until that point we felt that it would be
used Secrets and Notes features were not.
After operation had resumed, Atha said
“The cause is not yet to be appropriate to have Secrets and Notes not up and
functioning.”
he decided with Plans administrators to tem- communicated, but it was Root-Wiley said he does not expect any
porarily disable Notes, a discussion board for not libel/slander.” changes will be made to Secrets and Notes and
Plans users, and Secrets, a service that lets us- predicts they will return by the end of the semes-
ers post anonymous messages that must first Ian Atha ‘09 ter. “You can expect to see them up sometime in
be approved by Plans administrators. the next two months,” he said. “[But] it’s kind
“We wanted to get Plans back up as soon as possible, and of early in the process of figuring that out, so I can’t guarantee
the way we could do that is by temporarily disabling Secrets anything.”
and Notes,” said Plans Administrator Mark Root-Wiley ’09. Plans users, such as Leah Krandel ’09, have lamented the
Atha, who received the notice when, would not comment absence of Secrets in particular. “I’m totally miserable because
on the source of the notice or the reasons behind it but in an that was my favorite study break,” she said. “Now I’ve had to
e-mail to the S&B in December wrote that “the cause is not yet resort to going on Facebook, which is totally inferior.”
SGA
from p. 1 going to be a different SGA than last year.” of President and dealing with all the other issues that were hap-
SGA Vice President of Student Affairs pening like the alcohol poisoning, our response to that and stu-
John Burrows ’10 defined his duty as a cabinet member to bal- dent staff concerns,” Morake said. “I was focusing on leftover
ance working on long-term projects and daily duties, includ- projects and whatever else was coming up.”
ing working with administration and College committees. “I’m According to former SGA President Chris Hall ’07, many
trying to balance all that committee work against all those long of the projects completed during his time on Cabinet were not
term projects,” Burrows said. Burrows said he currently serves sparked until “going into winter break.” SGA’s projects in the
on at least eight committees with other members of the Col- ’06-’07 academic year included adding the second vice presi-
lege. dent position to cabinet, creating the STIFUND and working
Burrows said many goals mentioned in his campaign, such on an in-house drug policy.
as improving student wellness and rescheduling academic O’Donoghue said that growing experience amongst sena-
breaks, were in their beginning phases. “Especially towards the tors and emerging leadership by cabinet members, specifically
end of [last] semester you’re seeing a lot of projects started or Burrows, led to more proactive Joint Board sessions over the
even worked on or accomplished,“ Burrows said. last weeks of the semester.
Burrows said that his goals “have changed as new issues “In the beginning we were all just sort of aimlessly wander-
have arisen, i.e. the issues encountered with Student Affairs as ing around like ‘What are we doing?’,” O’Donoghue said. “But
well as students’ frustration being unable to communicate with by the end it felt like we were doing the right thing … people
administrators.” were actually thinking up proposals and dealing with real is-
SGA President Neo Morake ’09, who listed diversifying the sues.”
curriculum and revamping the off-campus living application in Hoye also said accomplishments such as encouraging and
her original campaign statement, echoed a sentiment similar to securing student spots on the Committee on Academic Stand-
Burrows. Morake stated that work had begun on the curricu- ing, which deals with academic probation and dishonesty, are
lum near the end of last semester and was well underway, while evidence of progress in SGA last semester.
work had yet to begin on reworking off-campus applications. “It’s the only committee that deals directly with student is-
“It was harder to focus on [my goals] at the beginning of sues that didn’t have a student representative,” Hoye said. “We’re
the semester only because [it took] time to figure out the role SGA, see p. 3

Jan. 23 - Jan. 29 Movie Times on Page 5

23
Friday 24
Saturday 25
Sunday 26
Monday 27
Tuesday 28
Wednesday 29
Thursday
NICARAGUA SERVICE CANOPY NIGHT: Faul- USED BOOK SALE: GRINNELLINK VOLUNTEER FAIR: JRC GRINNELLINK WELL-TEMPURED
TRIP INFO MEETING: coner Gallery, 1 p.m. JRC 101, 1-3 p.m. INTERNSHIP INFO: 101, 3 p.m. INTERNSHIP INFO: CLAVIER, BOOK 1
ARH 131, 4:15 p.m. CHINESE NEW YEAR CDO 104, 1127 Park RESUMES AND COVER CDO 104, 1127 Park CONCERT: Herrick
CANOPY NIGHT: CELEBRATION: JRC Street, 4:15 p.m. LETTERS: CDO 104, Street, 4:15 p.m. Chapel, 11 a.m.
Faulconer Gallery, 101, 4:30 p.m. GRINNELL CORPS 1127 Park Street, WHEN NEWS BREAKS USING PIONEERLINK:
4:15 p.m. LESOTHO PRESENTA- 4:15 p.m. PRESENTATION: ARH CDO 104, 1127 Park
TION: JRC 225, 8 COMMUNITY MEAL: 302, 4:15 p.m. Street, 4:15 p.m.
p.m. Davis Elementary WOMEN’S BASKET- WRITERS@GRINNELL
School, 818 Hamilton BALL VS. MONMOUTH: DISCUSSION: RADIO
Avenue, 5:30 p.m. Darby Gymnasium, ART: JRC 202, 4:30
MINDFUL EATING 5 p.m. p.m.
101: Guided Read- BRIDGMAN PACKER OCS WELCOME
ing: Smith Hall PERFORMANCE: BACK RECEPTION:
Lounge, 8 p.m. Bucksbaum Roberts JRC 101, 4:30 p.m.
WORLD LITERATURE Theatre, 8 p.m. THOMAS DEAN LEC-
LECTURE: ARH 305, TURE: ARH 120, 7:30
8 p.m. p.m.
PEACE STUDIES PRE- PEACE CORPS INFO
SENTATION: JRC 209, SESSION: ARH 102,
8 p.m. 8 p.m.
January 23, 2009
Grinnell, nation celebrates Obama Inauguration
From top left, counterclockwise: John Domini, English, and Kelly Brouse ’09 watch the Inauguration in the Grill after the JRC 101 became too full, where the Rosenfield Program sponsored a showing.
“[The] speech had the soaring and inspirational themes that definitely ranks it with the other top tier speeches,” said Director of Rosenfield Program Sarah Purcell ’92, History. Samuel Forman ’11 trav-
elled to Washington, D.C. as classes began to view the inauguration first hand, along with 2 million other people who flooded into the capitol city.
Semester
From p. 1 President Russell K. Os-
good reported that, as of
November, the endowment had dropped ap-
proximately 25 percent over the current fis-
cal year. In a series of letters, Osgood warned
there would be ”budget stringency” for several
years. While warning the school of the poten-
tial for future cuts in a campus-wide letter, Os-
good wrote that the College would prioritize
financial aid, projecting an increase in the aid
budget of $5 million, or 16 percent. He also
wrote the College would ”continue to invest in
our faculty and staff,” while slowing strategic
investment and capital projects, such as build-
ing a new library. Osgood wrote the College
would allow some faculty and staff positions to
remain unfilled and decline large outlays that
were low-priority.
Politics: The Campus Democrats launched
an intensive get-out-the-vote effort, dissemi-
nating stacks of posters and campaign litera-
ture and stationing group members through-
out campus, exhorting students to vote locally
and vote early. The campaign raised both
turnout and tempers as students voted at early
satellite voting locations on campus. Though
much of the campaign events proceeded with-
out incident, some of those ballots would later
be challenged by members of the Poweshiek
County Republicans. Their challenges—that
some student registrations did not meet the
state’s residency requirements—failed.
The semester also brought a number of
high-profile speakers to campus. Former Sec-
retary of the Navy Richard Danzig trumpeted
the security policies of an Obama administra-
tion, while movie star couple Demi Moore and
Ashton Kutcher also stumped for the demo-
cratic hopeful, drawing a crowd of hundreds to
JRC 101. Eric Palmer, the Democratic candi-
date who won the local seat in the Iowa Gen-
eral Assembly, spoke with students; Republi-
can Danny Carroll was notably absent. To help
commemorate the town’s commemoration of
Veteran’s Day and honoring of World War II
veterans, the College hosted a speech and lun-
cheon with former Senator Bob Dole.
SGA: The new SGA began with a rocky
start. Citing problems with communica-
tion and institutional knowledge, SGA often
seemed uncertain of its role on campus. A
SB NEWS
& edited by Ari Anisfeld and J. Francis Buse
discrepancy over ballot counting procedures
in October tainted the results of the semester’s
first round of initiatives and communications
with the student body were initially inconsis-
tent.
As the semester progressed, however, suc-
cess became more prevalent. SGA explored
revisions to policies on gas reimbursement and
cats in the dorms and, for the first time ever,
secured a student position on the Committee
for Academic Standing.
Sports: David Paige ’09 began the year by
nearly swimming a marathon in the Obermill-
er Pool to raise awareness for Charcot-Marie-
Tooth, a common yet obscure neurological
disorder which Paige himself has.
The football team finished with its best
record in five years and the women’s tennis
team lengthened their streak of consecutive
conference championships to five. The men’s
cross country team won their conference meet
with a perfect score, the first time a team has
achieved perfection since 1976. The team’s
success eventually carried them all the way to
the national meet in Hanover, Ind., where they
placed 26th.
Arts: Student artists made a strong show-
ing last semester. Brian Cavanaugh-Strong ’09
wrote and directed Travelers: A Musical in One
Act, in which we peeked into the worlds of
strangers on the Greyhound. Freesound orga-
nized a music festival called “Music Still Hates
You,” which featured over twenty bands from
campus and the Midwest.
Concerts Committee brought Wu-Tang
clansman GZA, who performed his seminal
album “Liquid Swords,” and Brooklyn-based
indie world music band Yeasayer played Gard-
ner on Halloween. Chilean folk collective Inti-
Illimani performed in Herrick Chapel.
In a short course and exhibition, students
used biological methods, such as bacterial
colonization, to produce life-infused artworks.
In another unique production, new theatre
professor Craig Quintero directed his unique
visuals based play “One Hundred Nights
Dreams” in September.
For links to more detailed reporting, check
out this story at web.grinnell.edu/sandb.
anisfeld@grinnell.edu; busejohn@grinnell.edu 3
PAUL KRAMER AND CONTRIB-
V
Smounker RLC departs
Once again, RLCs asked to take on new responsibilities
BY A NNA GILBERT Greene said. Also, Greene pointed out that
For the fourth year in a row, Student Af- this was the first year that there have been
fairs has undergone a mid-year rearrange- seven RLCs. However, the new distribution
ment of the RLCs’ duties. of RLC duties is different than in previous
The week prior to winter break, Jim years.
McCarthy resigned from his position as Clangrala RLC Rachel Meseke will be
Smounker Residence Life Coordinator and taking over all of McCarthy’s responsibili-
accepted a position at Rochester Institute of ties. In order to free her time for Smounker
Technology. Dean of Students Travis Greene residents, she will no longer be working at
cited McCarthy’s need to be close to his fam- the Center for Religion, Spirituality and So-
ily and hometown of Buffalo, NY as a prima- cial Justice. In previous cases, clusters have
ry reason for McCarthy’s been divided and RLCs
departure. have not given up any
McCarthy’s father died “The economic reality prevented previous duties to make
unexpectedly in Septem- time for the change.
ber and in an e-mail sent to [Student Affairs] from searching Each of the past three
all Smounker residents, he [for a new RLC].” years, the College has
wrote, “I have been strug- been forced to alter RLCs’
gling to cope with his loss duties due to departures
since,” and that he hoped Travis Greene and other extenuating
“my move home will allow circumstances. Loosehead
me to care for my mother Dean of Students RLC Kim Hinds-Brush,
and sisters.” who has taken on extra
McCarthy expressed duties in previous years,
his concerns about his family to Student Af- said “splitting makes it harder to spend time
fairs and began a preliminary job search in with residents.”
order to move back East at the end of the Younker resident Fonz Jenkins ’10
school-year. Neither McCarthy nor Student said McCarthy will be missed by many
Affairs expected that he would receive an- of his residents and other members of the
other position so soon. Grinnell community. “He was a great lis-
Student Affairs has not begun a search tener and offered assistance in any way he
for a new RLC. “The economic reality pre- could whether it was looking over a paper,
vented [Student Affairs] from searching,” talking, or just hanging out,” Jenkins said.
SGA
from p. 2 going to have two students semester’s Election Board that some blamed
on trial membership … and for early problems in SGA had been com-
the goal is to get students on the full committee pensated for.
[next fall].” “A bunch of [previous Election Board]
Other successes included helping retain members have come back from abroad, and
funding for the School of the Americas trip, we’ve trained new people,” Krejsa said. “We’re
reworking student group transportation policy going to leave behind a guide on how to run
and holding the well-attended forum between elections and not just assume that the people
students, faculty and Student Affairs. from this semester will remember next time
With the new semester, new Senators must around.”
be elected to Joint Board. Harry Krejsja ’10, a Senator applications are available until
former Senator who is advising the Election Sunday, Jan 25, and elections will be held
Board, said that many of the problems from last Tuesday, Jan 27.
 4 edited by Mark Japinga
japingam@grinnell.edu

Gogerty goes from knocked down to knocked up in new play

SA&B RTS January 23, 2009

BY R EBECCA H ELLER
Existential crises, daily pressures, and the looming threat of
motherhood are combined with provocative politics in “Hil-
lary Clinton Got Me Pregnant,” a one-woman show written
and performed by Iowa actress Megan Gogerty. Grinnellians
packed into The Wall Theatre on Tuesday and saw a piece that
effortlessly mixes the personal with the political, offering audi-
ences a creative way to reflect on the past eight years and con-
clude an historic inauguration day on a comedic note.
The show opens with Gogerty, a diehard Hillary Clinton
fan, standing in line at a Clinton book signing, obsessed with
the character of Clinton more than her politics. But the im-
pact of Sept. 11 turns her into a political junkie. Gogerty’s
newfound activism brings a weekly current-events chat with
her mother, a past Peace Corps volunteer with a shrine to the
“saints of liberalism,” which includes a bust of JFK.
Throughout the show, Gogerty is animated, able to convey
both hysteria and exuberance, delivering jokes and thoughtful
reflections with vibrant energy. When recounting Bush’s re-
election in 2004, Gogerty lies on the floor curled in the fetal
position. Later, when describing her pregnancy, she stuffs a
pillow under her shirt and waddles across the stage. Subtle
lighting, periodic soft music, and a few simple props accom-
modate Gogerty’s larger than life personality.
Clinton makes her triumphant return late in the show with
the start of the epic 2008 campaign. Gogerty questions whether
to devotedly support her idol—a hesitant Hillary who has be-
come the Senate’s version of Hermione Granger—or back a
bold, articulate Obama. In a nutshell, Gogerty’s struggle epito-
mizes that of many Democrats who found themselves torn be-
tween two equally viable candidates.
Ultimately, she decides that Clinton missed her moment
and should have run in 2004, opting instead for the transfor-
mative candidacy of Obama. Gogerty’s major political shift is Megan Gogerty does her best rodent impersonation as part of her one-woman show “Hillary Clinton Got Me Pregnant,” performed
followed by a major and unexpected change in her life: she gets Tuesday night in Bucksbaum. MICHELLE FOURNIER
pregnant. Like politics, Gogerty notes that giving birth is “not
pretty or tidy.” personal life and political views. The show is an enjoyable way our 44th president, though, the audience cannot help but smile.
The play, a loose but linear exposition of the last eight years, to relive the Bush years in a personal, lighthearted fashion. We already know the ending.
is thoughtfully playful. Gogerty is brilliantly real as she recalls Gogerty ends the show on the eve of the 2008 election, the
the self-deprecating lows and epiphany-inducing highs of her victor still unknown. With Barack Obama newly sworn in as

Beast still one of the animated greats Mucca Pazza

Beauty and
the Beast
(1991)
Beauty and the Beast is a true gem of a film, layering fresh
and vibrant characters on top of that wonderfully timeless qual-
ity that is essential to fairy tales. There’s a true sense of magical
wonder that lingers after the film is over—the songs, the energy
of the screenplay, and the warmth of the story allow it to remain
unique and memorable.
Most of us know the story: as punishment for denying her
shelter from the bitter cold, an enchantress transforms a prince
into a “hideous” (but kind of endearing) beast. If he is able
to love another and earn their love in return before his 21st
birthday, the spell that transformed him into the beast and his
staff into useful and adorable household objects, will be broken.
Sure, sure: it’s a tall order to find one’s true love by the time
you’re 21—I’ve sure as hell failed—but we buy wholeheartedly
into the story because it’s a fairytale after all.
At the story’s center is the strong willed and deeply com-
passionate Belle, a girl who is thought of as “odd” by the rest of
the town (she’s always reading! and thinking for herself!!). We
know Belle is a romantic, unwilling to settle for the studly yet
narcissistically bland Gaston, who goes around town in skin-
tight pants and some pretty ostentatious boots. She dreams
of adventure “in the great wide somewhere,” and damn it, we
share that dream.
When she becomes a prisoner of the Beast to save her fa-
ther, we feel for both of these characters, and long for their con-
nection. Of course he’s to be initially feared—he is still selfish,
unmannered, and pretty damn intimidating. But he ultimately
must be loved. Beneath the defenses and shows of strength
that he puts up, he is good and decent (it also doesn’t hurt that
he’s a good looking and filthy rich prince).
It’s hard not to love these characters. Belle is girl-next
–door approachable (good luck getting into Jasmine’s palace or
snagging a date with Ariel), smart, and fights for the things
she believes in. The Beast is vulnerable, sensitive, and misun-
derstood—hardly the prototype for the way Disney usually
chooses to portray its leading men. Together, they make one of
Disney’s best couples.
The magic of this film is most potently felt, unsurprisingly,
inside the Beast’s home. Disney has always excelled at blend-
ing the characteristics of the actors that provide the voices of
its characters and the mannerisms and personality that the
characters take on. Mrs. Potts, for example, is given life by the
soft and maternal voice of Angela Lansbury—she’s the most
kind and sensible teapot I’ve ever known. The back and forth
between uptight Cogsworth the clock and the more suave and
laidback Lumiere the candelabra is always a treat.
No gothic castle in real life could be as intimidating as the
Beast’s home, no French village could be filled with such quaint
and hearty neighbors, and of course, no real life experience
could be filled with individuals who simultaneously break into
song. That’s one of the reasons why Beauty and the Beast is such
a success—it is enhanced, not limited, by its animation.
The songs of Beauty and the Beast are true knockouts—
three of them were nominated for Academy Awards: the nar-
rative and highly entertaining “Belle”, the wonderfully choreo-
graphed “Be Our Guest”, and the haunting title song, sung by
Angela Lansbury. They’re the songs of childhood, and when
combined with the wonderful story, provide us all an opportu-
nity to believe in a little bit of magic.
—Jaysen Wright
Making marching bands cool again
All of Gardner Lounge will become a stage Friday night
with the return of Chicago’s Mucca Pazza to Grinnell. The
self-described “circus punk marching band” consists of 30
performers who rock out on everything from the accordion
to the violin to the sousaphone. Oh, and they bring cheer-
leaders.
Donned in an impressive variety of marching band
uniforms, the members spread themselves throughout the
room to create a totally immersive, chaotic, and unique con-
cert experience. A trombone player could sneak up behind
Mucca Pazza
Jan 23, 9:00 p.m.
Gardner Lounge
you and blast a few notes into your ear, the trumpets could
start fighting with the clarinets, or the band could decide
to mirror their 2006 performance here by marching around
campus, probably in step. The music doesn’t really fit in
a genre, but includes folk, punk, and reggae influences. It
mostly makes you wonder why more marching bands don’t
do this in the first place.
Mucca Pazza is the high school band everyone wishes
they were in—you know, if your band director was into
drugs and those goody-goody saxophone players were actu-
ally crazy. Suddenly, being a band geek isn’t nearly as de-
grading as it was out on the football field. In fact, it’s kind
of cool.
—Mark Japinga

H Amelie The Maltese J Beauty and S Valkyrie Paul Blart: Mall Cop Marley and Me
MOVIE Falcon R the Beast T
Fri. - 4:30, 7:30 & Fri. - 4:25, 7:10 & 9:30 p.m.
A 10:30 p.m.
Fri. - 4:20, 7:20 & 9:40 p.m. Fri. - 4:45, 7 & 9 p.m.
Sat. - 2, 4:25, 7:10 & 9:30 p.m.
R Sat. - 1:30 p.m.
Sat.- 7:30 and 10:30
p.m.
C Fri. - 7:30 and 9:30 R Sat. - 1:45, 4:20, 7:20 & 9:40
p.m.
Sat. - 2:15, 4:45, 7 & 9 p.m.
Sun. - 2,:15 4:45 & 7 p.m. Sun. - 2, 4:25 & 7:10 p.m.
p.m.

TIMES R
I
S
Sun. - 1:30 p.m. 1
0
Sat. - 7:30 and 9:30
p.m.
A
N
Sun. - 1:45, 4:20 & 7:20 p.m.
Mon.-Thurs. - 4:20 & 7:20
p.m.
Mon.-Thurs. - 4:45 & 7 p.m. Mon.-Thurs. - 4:25 & 7:10
p.m.
1 D
January 23, 2009
SB
FEATURES
& edited by Chloe Moryl
morylchl@grinnell.edu 5
The man behind the shorts
Mando Montano convinces visiting Spanish Professor Jose Castillo to bare it all
BY M ANDO MONTANO one of my Italian teachers told me that it was a gift, but I don’t
The extent of visiting Spanish Professor Jose Castillo’s see it as that way. I just see it as being myself.”
campus celebrity was best seen at last semester’s Halloween His openness and friendly nature is apparent through his
Phil Sletten ’11 & Garrett Fortin ’11 Harris when the winning costume was tight black biking interactions with students and staff in the dining hall, wheth-
shorts, a grey spandex muscle tee shirt, and a biking helmet, er he’s wearing a sweater and jeans or biking shorts. Though
12:36 a.m. – Phil takes break from reading in Noyce to check the an outfit that Castillo sported frequently in the dining hall at his outfits have sparked conversation among students, Castillo
BBC News website. Garrett, in dorm room, puts the coffee on. the beginning of the year. doesn’t view his workout clothes as anything out of the ordi-
Although Castillo is notorious on campus, most students nary. In fact, he would frequently dress that way in Califor-
1:41 a.m. – Phil returns to dorm room. Garrett, still awake, makes
know little about him beyond his distinct attire and his status nia. “I’m athletically fit and I was always at the beach when
new pot of coffee. They have brief conversation about new develop-
as a visiting Spanish professor. I was in California. That was my
ments in the Sri Lankan civil war.
Castillo and his family immi- hang out, Laguna Beach and New
1:53 a.m. – Phil goes to sleep. grated to New York City from the Port Beach,” Castillo said. “I’m not
Dominican Republic in 1971, when ashamed of my body or anything
??? a.m. – Garrett sips some coffee and goes to sleep (he doesn’t pay
he was four and a half years old. The like that.”
attention to time).
son of an officer of the Dominican When Castillo wasn’t working
8:00 a.m. – Garrett promptly awakens to his alarm, drinks more of Republic, Castillo initially decided out, spending time at the beach, or
last night’s coffee. to pursue medicine under the influ- working towards his graduate de-
ence of his uncle. “I really respected gree, he would frequent art studios
8:15 a.m. – Phil’s alarm goes off, he snoozes it and goes back to
my uncle, because he graduated and work as an art model.
sleep.
from medical school when he was “I model, like for painters in La-
8:21 a.m. – Phil’s alarm goes off, he stumbles out of room and asks 21,” Castillo said. “He was my role guna Beach in the art studios. I did
Garrett what happened in the world overnight. Garrett checks model.” that to win extra money and because
Google News and complains about commercial media while sip- However, once he started his first I enjoyed it,” Castillo said. “I’m not
ping coffee. year at Cornell University and began a good artist, so what other way can
participating in social activism on I contribute to the art world, be a
8:36 a.m. – Phil grabs the New York Times and glances at it over
campus such as the anti-apartheid part of it or be near it. And that’s
breakfast. Garrett opens a bag of mints for breakfast.
movement he realized that his fu- with offering myself as subject and
8:57 a.m. – Phil and Garrett both go to class. ture wasn’t in a hospital; he had his let them paint me or draw me. “
eyes on legal work. After graduating But at Grinnell, the absence
11:51 a.m. – Phil stops at science library to avoid lunchline crowds
from Cornell, he began working as of beaches and trendy art studios
by checking the BBC News website, MSNBC, Al Jazeera, and his
a paralegal to better understand the doesn’t stop Castillo from having
e-mail. Garrett goes back to the dorm and drops a mint in some
legal system. fun, and he uses campus resources
coffee before drinking it.
Castillo soon realized that in or- as much as possible. “You probably
(circa) 1:50 p.m. – Phil gets back to room, checks MSNBC, NPR, der to be competitive for law school, could see me at the gym,“ he said.
CNN (international edition only), BBC News (news bulletin and he’d have to earn an advanced degree. “I really enjoy lifting the weights; it
1 minute news summary), and Al Jazeera. Garrett just refreshes Since he had never studied Spanish makes me feel good.“
Google news, makes a pot of coffee, and finishes a bag of mints. formally outside of college, and he He even uses the dining hall be-
wanted a challenge, he decided to cause it allows him to interact with
2:37 p.m. – Garrett and Phil stop reading news articles and, while Jose Castillo, sans typical biker shorts and work-out
pursue a masters in Spanish. people and build strong connections
attempting to read their required texts, banter about the GDP fore-
“After being accepted into Rut- garb, spends time in the Grille. BEN BREWER with students. “I mostly participate
cast for the German economy in 2009.
gers for law school, I found it to be with the students, they always say,
3:59 p.m. – Garrett and Phil stop talking about the German econ- very monotonous,” Castillo said. “So I decided to finish my ‘Wow, you’re the only professor that eats breakfast, lunch, and
omy and the German Social Democratic Party and start working. masters degree in Spanish.” dinner with us.’ ” Castillo said.
Garrett opens a new bag of mints. He began teaching for a year at the University of Pennsyl- Even though Castillo is close to 40 years old, he claims
5:29 p.m. – Garrett and Phil watch PBS news in Clark lounge.
vania, but then quickly moved to Los Angeles after winning that older students thought he was a first-year. “Most of the
Garrett sips coffee.
a fellowship at the University of California at Irvine. After students confuse me for a student, someone once told me, ‘Are
spending several years in the area, he moved to Tampa to live you a freshman?’ I don’t know what, but when I first came
6:02 p.m. – Garrett goes to Vegan Co-op at an undisclosed, roving with his sister and briefly taught at a local community college here they thought I was a student, and they still do,” he said.
location while Phil braves the dining hall crowds. before coming to Grinnell. Castillo is a social butterfly; when he isn’t at the school he
7:12 p.m. – Phil checks BBC, CNN-Int’l, and Al Jazeera for new
As a teacher Castillo said he tries to be as open as pos- loves to interact with the town’s people. “I befriended every-
news before posting the news summary on Facebook. Phil then gets
sible with his students. “I don’t like to be an authoritative fig- one who owns a business here in Grinnell, Iowa. In town, they
ready to go to Noyce before asking Garrett about the recent Fortis
ure,” Castillo said. “I like to treat them as intelligent, educated probably already know me,” Castillo said.
split. Garrett begins an overview of what he knows about Fortis.
people, like myself.” Castillo looks at the town residents the same way he would
As well as a policy of respect, Castillo also tries to be “as want them to look at him. “They tend to be really friendly
8:10 p.m. – Phil goes to Noyce, Garrett (surrounded by coffee mugs authentic as possible” by encouraging openness between him- people, and you get to know them and they know you,” Cas-
and mint wrappers) prays to miraculously speak Spanish, which self and his students. “People tend to feel relaxed talking to tillo said.
hasn’t worked yet. me, “ Castillo said. “I’m a very friendly, approachable person,

Steiner: technically responsible for the New Deal

Steiner Hall serves as home to professor offices and classrooms, but who was the man behind the building?
BY JEFF R ADERSTRONG prominent lecturer that the College would immigrant in the United States. He worked last drop of blood, it can have it. One thing
At age 20, Edward Steiner finally fled have to give him a semester’s leave of absence various hard-labor jobs, pressing cloaks, mak- I will not do, I will not by word or deed in-
the political police of the Austro-Hungarian so that he could accept all the invitations. ing sausage, mining coal, and working on to- crease the hate which is in the world,” ac-
Empire. It was his Steiner’s scholar- bacco farms, according to his obituary in the cording to Klauser’s speech.
third attempt to ly work ranged from Des Moines Register. But what Steiner was most known for at

Dorm
m Lives
Live
Li ve
v
ves
es
s
leave for America a biography on his He went on to study at Oberlin College, Grinnell College was his “half hours,” when
after being accused personal friend and where he graduated in 1891 and quickly be- he would invite students into his home for a
of “conspiracy,” mentor Leo Tolstoy came a Congregational minister after con- short meeting. After talking briefly, Steiner
stemming from to writings on the verting from Judaism to Christianity, but the would then tell the student what he or she
his sympathy to- “social gospel” move- plight of the recent immigrant stayed with should do with his or her life.
wards the empire’s ment. Both Steiner him. At the building’s dedication ceremony, Harry Hopkins, class of 1912, was one
oppressed Slovaks. and Grinnell Col- Klauser said Steiner’s first experiences in the of those students. Hopkins wanted to be a
He landed on Ellis lege played a large U.S. “burned into his soul and ultimately de- journalist, but Steiner told him to go into
Island in 1886 and 17 years later, in 1903, he role in cultivating the social gospel movement, fined the purpose of his life—the amelioration social service, according to Steiner’s obituary.
arrived at Grinnell College as a professor in a theological philosophy around the turn of the of ” the immigrant’s struggles. Hopkins started his career as a journalist,
Applied Christianity. 20th century which applied Christian ethics to Steiner remained an outspoken pacifist but quickly followed Steiner’s advice, even-
During his 38 years at Grinnell, Stein- social problems, especially labor issues. throughout both World Wars. During World tually becoming a close adviser of President
er would “spread its name and influence However, Steiner did not come to this War I, people in the town of Grinnell would Franklin Roosevelt.
throughout the nation” as “no man before national prominence or even to his religious not speak to Steiner because he refused to Steiner remained at Grinnell until he re-
or since has,” as Professor Emeritus of Phi- beliefs easily. Born a Jew in what is now the sanction the war in his sermons. After being tired in 1941, when he moved to California.
losophy Neal Klauser said at the dedication Czech Republic, he escaped persecution in Eu- accused of disloyalty, he responded by saying, He died in 1956 after suffering though ill-
of Steiner Hall in 1959. He became such a rope only to come into the hard life of a recent “If my country calls for my last penny and my ness following surgery.
 6 edited by Jai Garg
gargjai@grinnell.edu
SB
SPOO&
PORTS
P OR
ORT
RTS
R
RTTS
T January 23, 2009

Conference foes rock Darby

BY C HLOE MORYL facing St. Norbert, who are ranked 17th na-
With the Iowa winter in full throttle tionally, in high spirits. “It was interesting
and students still making their way on to because they are nationally ranked and un-
campus the Grinnell College men’s basket- defeated in our conference, but they haven’t
ball team entertained a couple of confer- won on our court in a while,” Preston said.
ence foes in Darby, losing two crucial games “It wasn’t like they were a heavy favorite.”
by slim margins this past weekend, first to These high spirits certainly manifested
Carroll University and then to nationally themselves on the court, as the high scor-
ranked St. Norbert College. ing, typical of the Pioneer’s “system” style
Early in the game against Carroll, things of play, returned to the court. Grotberg and
looked bleak for the Pioneers, as they found Long scored 26 and 25 points, respectively,
themselves down by 21 points early in the while David Arseneault ‘09 contributed 19
second half. However, streaky shooting by points and five assists.
Matt Chalupa ’12, Bobby Long ’09, and But the return of their offensive prow-
John Grotberg ’09 brought the Pioneers ess wasn’t enough for the Pioneers. The
within inches of victory. The lead was too game was tight throughout, during which
much and the Pioneers the largest margin of
lost 108-102. difference had been
The Pioneers mainly “This weekend we just need to four points until St.
attribute their struggle get ready to play, the first half Norbert put together a
against Carroll to mental triumphant streak of 14
unpreparedness. “At home we were so dead and there was straight points, going
when we played them we no energy in the gym.” on to win 107-96.
came out a little flat, just Even with these two
not mentally ready,” said close games, the Pio-
Ross Preston ’10.
The high scorer against Matt Chalupa ’12 neers remain optimis-
tic for their upcoming
Carroll, Chalupa also de- games. “Last weekend
livered a similar senti- was a lost opportunity,”
ment. “This weekend we just need to get Preston said. “But this weekend is a chance
ready to play,” Chalupa said. “The first half to rectify those mistakes.”
we were so dead and there was no energy in The men’s team is now 5-2 in conference
the gym.” play and 8-5 overall, fourth in conference—
As a result of this mental slippage, the the top four teams make the conference
Pioneers fell behind and missed many shots. tournament. This weekend, the men are
“If you look at what we shot from the three, on the road, playing Lawrence University
it was piss-poor,” Preston said. on Friday, Jan 23, and have another shot at
Despite the hard-fought loss, the Carroll University on Saturday, Jan 24.
Bobby Long ’09 drives to the basket in Saturday’s 96-107 loss to St. Norbert LAWRENCE SUMULONG Grinnell men went into the second night,

Women’s basketball team suffers back to back losses

BY C HLOE MORYL St. Norbert, though a closer game in
This past weekend, the Grinnell Wom- numbers, presented more of a challenge to
en’s basketball team faced two of their the Pioneers. “It was a hard game, it got
toughest conference opponents, Carroll violent,” Shotts said. “There were a lot of
University and St. Norbert College. Though fouls against them and us. They’re a really
both were hard fought games, the Pioneers scrappy team, really handsy.”
fell to Carroll 86-57 and then to St. Norbert The Pioneers began the game solidly,
72-51. garnering an early 12-11 lead early on.
On Friday, the Pioneers opened with However, the St. Norbert Green Knights
forward Jessica Shotts ’10 scoring the first capitalized with a few good runs, putting
five points of the game. However, their lead the Pioneers on the backburner. “We had
didn’t last long, as Carroll scored the next a good lead in the first half and they only
nine points, ending the half with a 21-point outscored us by one in the second half,” said
lead. “In the first half we forward Emma Peterson
had a lot of defensive ’10. “It’s frustrating be-
lapses,” Shotts said. “We didn’t lose because they cause we’ll be right there
Along with the de- had some kind of standout with them and then they’ll
fensive lapses, the team just pull away.” By halftime
had trouble keeping pos- performance, we just didn’t St. Norbert had pulled
session of the ball. “We play well, there were 37 turn- ahead by 20 points and did
didn’t lose because they not look back.
had some kind of stand- overs.” Despite two tough
out performance, we just Mallory Scharf ’08 losses, the Pioneer women
didn’t play well,” said for- remain optimistic. “Team
ward Mallory Scharf ’11. morale and attitude has
“There were 37 turnovers.” been a lot better in the past couple weeks,”
Though disappointing defensive play Scharf said. “The small successes along the
and poor handling may have decided the way have really helped lead to where we are
game, individual offensive play was solid. now.
An injured Jodi Watkins ’09 was the top The team travels to Wisconsin this
scorer, with 14 points, with center Jessica weekend to face off against Lawrence Uni-
Vaverka ’11 close behind her with 11, and versity this Friday and Carroll University on
Shotts with 10. Saturday.

Megan Huey ’12 shoots a jumper during Saturday’s loss to St. Norbert LAWRENCE SUMULONG
January 23, 2009 SPORTS
& 7
Grinnell hosts own invitational, both teams finish second
SB edited by Jai Garg
gargjai@grinnell.edu

Swimmers return from the sunny shores of Florida to break personal and school records, prepare for MWC championships
BY DEVIN ROSS
This past weekend in the depths of
Obermiller Pool, the men’s and women’s
swimming and diving teams competed their
own invitational, with both teams finishing
second.
On the women’s side, Kelly Bruce ’12 set
a school record the opening day of the in-
vitational, scoring 379.5 points in the one-
meter diving event, while Valerie Stimac ’09
claimed first place in the 200-yard IM and
the 100-yard freestyle. Stimac also joined
the winning 400-yard medley relay team,
which included Morgan Bober ’12, Alex
Peitz ’10, and Amy Hadow ’10. The team
finished with 497 points overall, second only
to Luther College’s 631 points.
One the men’s side, Thomas Lankie-
wicz ’12 was victorious in the 400-yard IM.
Grinnell also had a couple of runner-up
finishes: Dan Neely ’09, Max Fulgoni ’12,
Thomas Olson ’10, and Michael Schoelz ’12 Coe, Luther, and Morningside. Luther Col- Meghan McDoniel ’10. Final team stand-
in the 400-yard freestyle relay, and Neely, lege ranked first at the meet, finishing with ings from Naples ranked Connecticut Col-
Fulgoni, Olsen, and Cy Mistry ’11 in the a total of 311 points. lege first place in both the men and women’s
200-yard medley relay. At last year’s invitational, Grinnell’s meets with scores of 144-62 and 138-72.
Neeley said he thought men’s and women’s
that the men’s and wom- teams ranked second “The Florida training trip was wonder-
en’s swimming teams per- “We’re at a point in the season and third, respectively. ful,” said Caitlin Short ’12 “Besides lots of
formed spectacularly at the In preparation for swimming and hard work, I think I speak
home invite.
where our bodies are tuckered the invitational and for everyone when I say that it was a great
“We’re at a point in the out, but we all jumped in and conference, both teams bonding experience.”
season where our bodies swam hard in spite of fatigue.” traveled to Naples, As the end of the season approaches, the
are tuckered out, but we all Florida for 11 days and team is looking forward to their final meet.
jumped in and swam hard Dan Neely ’08 on January 8 competed “As the season comes to a close I am
in spite of fatigue,” Nee- against Connecticut looking forward to conference, where we
ley said. “We had season College. plan to kick some ass,” Lankiewicz said. “I
bests and personal records At the Naples have really high expectation for myself and
throughout the meet, and meet, Stimac won the for the team at that meet.
great dives, too. Coming straight off the bus 100-yard freestyle. Stimac was also a part of The team’s next meet will be January 24
and into a meet like that, we were great.” the winning 200-yard relay team, which also at Carleton College against Carleton and St.
The invitational included swimming and consisted of Morgan Horton ’11 (the S&B’s Cloud State.
diving teams from Macalester, Augustana, opinion editor), Casey Strickler ’12, and

Cardinals’ bandwagon and Jordan’s gambling habits

Nobody needs to tell you who to root for on Super Bowl
Sunday. If you have any sort of heart, any feelings of sentimen-
tality when it comes to sports, you will know who to cheer on.
Unless you were born loving Andy Van Slyke you will be root-
ing for the Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals. If you didn’t
grow up a Steelers fan and you are jumping on their bandwagon
I just have a few questions to ask you. Did you root for the
Hawks? Did you cry when the Russians lost? Are you sexually
aroused when someone screams “get him a body bag, yeah!”?
Where do you keep your Claude Lemieux autographed puck?
Do you love Gunner Stahl? (Did you really think I was going
to let this go on without referencing the Mighty Ducks at least
twice?) Have you no decency?
This might be a bit harsh, but the Cardinals are an extreme-
ly likable team. Larry Fitzgerald has already had the greatest
postseason of any wide receiver ever, the Arizona defense is cre-
ating excitement through turnovers, and, I might be the only
one, but I want to see Edgerrin James get a legitimate ring. To
think that just seven weeks ago Tarvaris Jackson was scorch-
ing them for four touchdowns. The same Tarvaris Jackson that,
while playing the Eagles, got body slammed with such violent
force that the young quarterback was so addled the next drive
he led the Vikings downfield for a touchdown. Poor thing—he
didn’t know what he was doing.
Now that I’ve decided who you’re going to root for, it’s im-
portant that you are ahead of the curve on the most entertain-
ing aspect of the game: prop bets. Sure you can wager money
on prop bets throughout the season, but that would require a
gambling addiction so severe you’d have to serve an 18 - month
super secret suspension. So kick back and relax because I’m not
finished here until I’ve made my classic ironclad predictions
and you’ve lost copious amounts of money.
Jordan Kujala ‘09
Minnesota Miracle Man
Winner of the coin toss: Arizona Cardinals
It’s fairly widely known that the Cardinals have never
lost a coin toss while being more than five point underdogs,
away from home at a stadium that features a pirate ship while
the wind is blowing between 10 and 20 miles per hour from
a non-cardinal direction. And what, pray tell, is the National
Weather Service predicting? That’s right, the wind’s going to
be blowing out of the Northeast at 13 MPH. Lock.
First Score: Pittsburgh Steelers, Safety
Adrian Wilson will use his incredibly vertical leap
to intercept a ball at the Cardinals own one yard line. After
breaking the huddle Warner prays to Jesus for a miracle 99 yard
touchdown pass that will start his team on the path to victory.
Unfortunately, Jesus is away getting a snack — he only watches
for the commercials — and Warner will be pummeled by James
Harrison so hard that Al Michaels will think he died.
Halftime Score: Cardinals 17 Steelers 9
Matt Leinart will fill in admirably for the injured
Warner throwing for two touchdowns, connecting with Steve
Breaston on one and the other coming on a dazzling throw and
catch with Larry Fitzgerald that will undoubtedly be the sole
non-beer bong highlight of his professional career. All this oc-
curs while Anquan Boldin sits on the sideline, weeping softly to
himself.
Super Bowl MVP: Troy Polamalu
While sitting in the locker room at the half, Leinart
realizes that there is no way his good play can continue. Re-
signed to this fact he comes out in the third quarter determined
to do what he did every other game this season: scan the stands
for hot chicks. Unfortunately, during a crucial play in the fourth
quarter he will see the most beautiful flowing locks he has ever
laid eyes on. Instinctively he will playfully lob the football in
the girl’s general direction and Troy Polamalu will return the
pick for the game-clinching touchdown.
Final Score: Steelers 29 Cardinals 20
 The Back Page
The Best Thing Since The Front Page

The Snedge
Noyce and ARH
go head-to-head
On Thursday, J. Francis
Buse polled 50 people at
Noyce and Jai Garg polled
50 people at ARH, asking:

Malia or Sasha?

Helen Lewandowski ’12

Noyce
30%
INAUGURAL BENEDICTION: “We ask you to help us work for that day when black will Malia
not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow,
when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right.” 70%
Sasha
CLASS OF ’10: It is wonderful to have some of our favorite smiling faces back at ARH
Grinnell, but we also really miss those juniors who are abroad for the spring. 68%
Malia

CHAPPED LIPS: The cold winter months have a terrible drying effect, and chapstick 32%
and licking ones lips really only makes the chapping worse. Sasha

January 20, 1397 (sic): Writing answers on bare legs, on DID

tape strapped to the ankle, on adding-machine paper rolled YOU
This Week in around pencil stubs, and all the other time-honored methods
KNOW
Grinnell H istory ?
of cribbing are characterized as “dumb” by Henry S. Conrad, The average chocolate
bar has 8 insect legs
professor of Botany. in it.
www.randomfunfacts.com

The Scarlet & Black welcomes story ideas from students, faculty and
other members of the town and college community. If there is any story that
should be covered, please email newspapr@grinnell.edu.
The Scarlet and Black December 12, 2008
Send letters to the editor via email at newspapr@grinnell.edu or mail
them to Box 5886. The author’s name must be included, but letters can be
published anonymously in certain occasions upon request. Letters will be
printed at the discretion of the editor. The S&B reserves the right to edit any
Editors-in-Chief Patrick Caldwell Graphics Editor Mike Kleine and all submissions. The deadline for publication in Friday’s paper is Tuesday
and David Logan News Assistant J. Francis Buse of the same week. Please do not include footnotes in letters to the editor.
Ad Designer Karuna Giri News Editor Ari Anisfeld
Arts Editor Mark Japinga Opinion Editor Morgan Horton The opinions expressed in letters to the editor, opinion columns and
Business Manager Katie McMullen Photo Editor Ben Brewer advertising do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the S&B, SPARC or
Grinnell College.
Copy Editor Stephanie Nordstrom Sports Editor Jai Garg
Design Editor Margie Scribner Web Design Tony Pan Advertising inquiries should be directed to the business manager, Cait-
Features Editor Chloe Moryl Honorary Editor G.K.G.K. lin Carmody, who can be reached at sandbads@grinnell.edu or by mail at Box
5886, Grinnell College, Grinnell, IA 50112.

The Scarlet & Black is published on Fridays by students of Grinnell College and is printed by Marengo Publishing Corporation. The
newspaper is funded in part by the Student Publications and Radio Committee (SPARC) and also relies on advertising revenue to cover
operating costs. All publications funded by SPARC are copyright of SPARC and cannot be reproduced elsewhere without specific written
consent from SPARC.
Subscriptions to the S&B within the United States cost $25 per semes-
ter. Subscriptions outside the U.S. are $55 for surface mail and $85 for air
mail per semester. Again, send all inquiries to Box 5886 or newspapr@grin-
nell.edu.

web.grinnell.edu/sandb/ S&B on the Web thesandb.blogspot.com