Camgirl

James Patrick Lawlor

4th Draft October 10, 2012 Copyright 2012 WGA registered Contact: Mikael Flodell Drama Svecia (+46)70752-3439

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For Jackie and Travis

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What would you do for the girl of your dreams, Bob?

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EXT. DESOLATE HIGHWAY - DAY Scrubland for as far as the eye can see -- the highway, a straight line stretching into infinity. A 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle sits demolished in an open field. A headless body sits in the passenger seat. body is sprawled in the back. Another decapitated

Money scatters in the field and along the roadway -- twenties, fifties, hundreds tumbling and twisting in the wind. Cars are stopping. Doors opening. scrambling to gather up the cash. People getting out -Two large men

A black Mercedes E550 sedan pulls up to the scene. get out. Their clothing is dark, but casual.

They walk calmly to the Chevelle and pull a young woman from the back seat. Shes hysterical. Splattered with blood, but the blood does not appear to be hers. They usher her to the black Mercedes. but the men hold her tight. THE GIRL (screaming) Bobby! She struggles to break free,

Bobby!

They shove her into the back seat. A third man gets in with her. The other two take the front, and the car speeds off. CUT TO: SERIES OF SHOTS: routine. We follow BOB (early 20s) through his morning Bob is torn from sleep.

An alarm clock goes off, blasting.

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Another day. He pulls himself out of bed and trudges to the bathroom. He squirts a mound of shaving cream into his hand. Lathers his face. Shaves. He leaves his apartment, tucking his shirt into his pants. Gets into his car, a 1988 Mercury Grand Marquis. Backs out of the driveway. Drives. Stops for a red light. Taps the steering wheel impatiently. Puts his shades on. CUT TO: A BLACK SCREEN. TITLE FADES IN: BOB FADE IN: INT. BUY IT FOR LESS! SALES FLOOR - DAY Bob is helping a customer choose the right air purifier. BOB This one comes with a permanent HEPA filter and a lifetime warranty. The customer looks at Bobs chest and cocks his head. MOMENTS LATER Bob goes over and stands next to his coworker, Artie (50ish). ARTIE Youre upside down. Artie nods at Bobs nametag. Its upside down. Bob puts it on right side up. He looks out at the sales floor. BOBS POV: hes watching all the pretty young girls. Girls with boyfriends. Holding hands. A girl whispering into her boyfriends ear. A girl kissing her brawny young beau. ARTIES VOICE Customer. Bob turns. Artie nods at a man looking at air conditioners. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. BOBS APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT Bobs car is parked in the driveway.

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YOUNG MALE VOICE Mmm mmm mmm. Her pussy juices tasted just like cherry cream soda, yo! INT. BOBS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A dingy two-bedroom apartment. Seven young people, ranging from 18 to 22, are sitting around the TV watching X-Men and drinking PBR pounders. Theyre heavily into X-Men cosplay. Bob, still in his street clothes, is sitting away from the group, nursing a beer. ANGEL, a young Latino, dressed as Professor Charles Xavier, tells the others about his latest conquest. ANGEL(PROFESSOR CHARLES XAVIER) I fucked her on her parents bed for a good forty-five minutes. Every time I tried to pull out, bitch would scream (mimicking) Dont stop! Dont stop! But finally, I hadda. My shit was gonna splode! So, I pulled out and jizzed all over fuckin titties. Bobs pocket starts to vibrate. He takes out his cell phone. While hes doing this we hear Taylor saying TAYLOR(TOAD) Goddamn, that bitch is fine. Her eyes go all goofy and shit when she takes her glasses off, but her bodys dope! Bob has a text message. The message reads: Im online now. Bobs out of his seat like shot. HEATHERS not buying Angels story. Shes fat. Dressed as Mystique in a blue skin-tight bodysuit and face paint. HEATHER(MYSTIQUE) Angel, I heard you creamed in your Spiderman Underoos before you could even get your shit out. ANGEL(PROFESSOR CHARLES XAVIER) Yo, fux you, ya stinky, twinkie-eatin, Jabbathe-Hut-lookin bitch! INT. BOBS BEDROOM - NIGHT

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Bob sits down in front of his PC. Goes to his favorites tab, which brings him to a website. The name of the website is Amateur Cam World. It promises 100% live girls. The website is a webcam hub, featuring hundreds of girls from all over the world. Bob scrolls through dozens of thumbnail photos of girls of every ethnicity and description, until he comes to the one hes looking for -- BlondeBarbie. A banner at the bottom tells him shes Online. He clicks her thumbnail, which brings him to her live webcam. And then we see her, and we immediately understand Bobs infatuation. Shes gorgeous. Nineteen. Green eyes. Scarlett Johansson lips. Her hair is borderline light brown and blonde and looks like strands of spun gold in the sunlight. She usually wears it down, but tonight its up. Several others are already online chatting with her. messages on the right-hand side of the screen. We see their

R U feeling horny tonight baby? Sooo gorgeous. Show us a tittie. Can I take you to private, baby?

She reads the last message and huffs. BLONDEBARBIE No private show! She speaks with a Slavic accent. Shes also annoyed, like shes had to tell them this several times already. Several admirers notice this and are commenting. Someone named Meathooks69 writes, Why so uptight? Sho us somethin!!! Bob quickly types his username justplainbob and password. She sees Bob is logged in and looks relieved. We hear her fingers typing on the keyboard. Then we see the message, Hi, Justplainbob. Would you like to go private? Bob responds -- types: Hellz yeah! Bob clicks the Enter My Private Show tab. A message appears --

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saying something about this being charged to Bobs account. And now its only Bob and BlondeBarbie. Ruff nite? Bob types. Better now, she types. Although her computer is micd, she prefers to type her responses. You look beautiful tonight, Bob types. BB responds with a smiley face. Ive been thinking about you, she types. Bob blushes. Types: I cant stop thinking about you. Aw, she responds. Did you get the present? Bob types. Sooo sweet, she types. Its beautiful. The gathering out in the living room is getting drunk and boisterous. Bob puts his Earbuds in and turns on some tunes -Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. Forty Day Dream. The two IM for a bit. Bob smiles over something she writes. see Bob typing. BB laughs. Types a response. Their conversation is loose and effortless. I have a surprise for you, she types. She swivels her Webcam up and steps away from the camera. Bobs eyes go wide. BOB (to the computer screen) What are you wearing, you naughty girl. Shes wearing glasses, a plaid micro mini and black thigh-highs from American Apparel -- her signature accoutrement. Her hips begin to sway, moving slowly to the music. She glides her hands over her body. slowlyvery, very slowly. Removes her scarf, but We

She grabs the scarf by both ends and pulls it back and forth between her legs, then tosses it on the bed. She moves toward the camera -- still swaying her hips, and unbuttons one button on her blouse. We catch a glimpse of her bra. Its black and lacy.

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Bobs hand creeps down.

We hear him unzip his pants.

She turns and moves away from the camera. Stops and looks back over her shoulder. Her face registers mock surprise as she lifts her skirt, giving Bob a peek at her ass. Bob is mesmerized. She comes right up to the webcam. Caresses her breasts. Smiles. She unbuttons one more button and opens her blouse, showing Bob her bra. Bobs face is flushed now. She takes the glasses off, then unclips her hair. down past her shoulders. Slowly, she unbuttons her blouse. She takes her shirt off. off camera. Her hair tumbles

Her eyes are hypnotic.

Swings it over her head and tosses it

She lowers her skirt -- swaying her hips slowly. Slowly. She wiggles and slithers out of it. Shes wearing only a black g-string. Her body is flawless. She comes right up to the webcam and tilts the camera up. and breasts fill the screen. Her face

She reaches behind her back and unclips her bra. Slides her arm over her nipples and lets the bra fall to the floor. She cups her breasts in her hands and fondles them for a moment. Then, she smiles and lowers her hands. And with that she brings Bob to climax. DISSOLVE TO: INT. BOBS ROOM - NIGHT Bob is still online with BB. Shes lying on the bed, wearing a silk bathrobe. Bob says the words aloud as he types. BOB Show it to me again.

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BB smiles and sits up and holds the dress in front of her. Its soft yellow and sleeveless and looks a little old-fashioned. She holds it in front of her for a moment, then lays it back down. BOB (saying it as he types) You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. A blushing emoticon appears on screen. We hear Bob saying the following OFF CAMERA as these words appear on screen: You are my dream girl. BB reads this. She moves closer to the camera and stares at Bob through the lens. BLONDEBARBIE What would you do to meet girl of your dreams, Bob? Bob can only stare at the blinking cursor. BLONDEBARBIE Would you like to meet me? BB looks at her computer screen for a response, but sees none. turns back to her webcam, frowning playfully. BLONDEBARBIE You dont want to meet me? Bob stares at the blinking cursor, his heart racing. BOB (saying it as he types) For real? BB looks at Bobs response. Looks back at her webcam. Nods. Types: She

Bob stares at the computer screen. presses Enter.

Finally, he types How? and

A website appears on screen. The site is called Apollo Escorts. We hear Bobs roommate, DAVE, say OFF CAMERA

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DAVE(O.C.) (reads) Apollo Escorts. World class escorts for the discerning gentleman. INT. BOBS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Bob and Dave are staring at Daves computer screen. back through the bevy of girls. BOB Thats her. DAVE Well, hello Miss Thigh High. BOB What do you think? Dave is awestruck by her gorgeousness. DAVE I think shes a smokin hot piece of ass. BOB The link. DAVE (turning to BOB) Shes a prostitute. The smile disappears from Bobs face. DAVE Whaddaya think an escort is? BOB Shes not a prostitute. DAVE Is money changing hands? BOB Money? Money. DAVE Yknow, dinero? Rubles? Dave scrolls

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BOB No. DAVE Its not? BOB Not directly. DAVE What the fuck does that mean, not directly? BOB Its not like Im tossing a coupla bills on the mattress before heading out the -DAVE -- shes not asking for money? BOB Shes not. DAVE Someone is. BOB So? DAVE Then, youre payin her. Not directly. INT. BOBS CAR - NIGHT Bob and Dave are driving to Burger King. BOB (off DAVES look) Dont say it. I mean it. DAVE Bob, she probably has a pimp and everything. BOB BOB Im going through PayPal.

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Hes not a pimp.

Hes her webmaster.

DAVE Whats the difference? BOB Theres a big difference. For one thing he has to, you know, know a lot about computers. INT. BOBS CAR - NIGHT Bobs car is parked in font of their apartment building. DAVE Youre really goin through with this? BOB Fuck yeah. DAVE How? Youre the only guy I know whos more destitute than me. Bob mulls it over. Then, an idea.

BOB Ill sell my car. Dave throws Bob a look. BOB I could get a few grand for this. DAVE But Bob, this is your baby. BOB (ponders it, then) Dave, I have to meet her. DISSOLVE TO: INT. BOBS APARTMENT - DAY Dave stands at a window, watching as Bob hands a young man his car keys. While Bob counts a wad of bills, the man takes the 4 Sale sign out of the back window, gets in the car and backs out of the

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drive.

Dave shakes his head.

Idiot. DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BUS TERMINAL - DAY Bob steps off a Greyhound bus carrying a duffel bag. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. FRANKIES - NIGHT A taxi pulls up in front of an unassuming steak restaurant. INT. FRANKIES - NIGHT The restaurant is narrow and dimly lit. intimate little tables. Bob is sitting at a booth. bought on eBay for $99. Leather booths and

He looks nice in the Brioni shirt he

The waiter, wearing a black tie and white apron, is standing over him. Bob is attempting to navigate the drinks menu. BOB Is the twelve how many years its been aged? WAITER Thats the price, sir. BOB For a bottle? The waiter stares at Bob. BOB Water. Thanks. The waiter turns without saying a word and walks off. Shes late and hes nervousgrowing more anxious by the second. He watches the entrance like a hawk. Then: A FEMALE VOICE Bob?

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He turns.

Shes standing right behind him. BOB I didnt see you come in.

Bob stands.

Her hair is pulled back in a messy chignon. Shes smaller than he imagined. Not short, just somehow smaller. Bob takes her long hooded sweater jacket and sees shes wearing his gift -- the yellow dress. BOB You wore it! She slips into the seat across from him. Bob takes his seat and stares at her for a long moment, beaming. BOB You look like a flower. flower. Irena blushes and smiles. on her. Is it too big? A pretty Spring

The dress is blousy and fits loosely BOB I can take it back.

She touches the dress, feeling the way it lays so loosely on her body. BLONDEBARBIE (smiles) No, I like, like this. No one speaks. Bob stares at her and smiles softly. away. She seems a little tense. Nervous. BOB I cant believe youre actually sitting across from me. This is unbelievable. Would you like a drink? (trying to get the waiters attention) BLONDEBARBIE Bob? She looks

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BOB Yes? BLONDEBARBIE (lowers her voice) There is large man sitting at table behind me. Bob looks over at him. BLONDEBARBIE Dont look! Bob quickly turns away. BLONDEBARBIE You see? Bob casually glances back over at him. Three tables away, a large man is sitting at a small table, eating a t-bone steak. BLONDEBARBIE Hes here tohmmhow do you say? on me. BOB Keep eye on you? BB nods. Bob can see shes frightened. BLONDEBARBIE I am prisoner. She says it very faintly. Bob leans forward to hear her. Keep eye

BOB Did you say prisoner? BB nods. Bob cant help but laugh. BOB This is part of it, right? She gives him a bemused look. BOB You know, part of the wholeuh. Its all so dramatic.

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She reaches over and takes his hand in her small hand. is fixed. Filled with desperation and intensity. BLONDEBARBIE Youre only one who can help me. Bob looks into her pleading eyes. Wait.

Her stare

Something doesnt feel right.

BOB What are you asking me to do?

BLONDEBARBIE I need you to help me. BOB Help you what? BLONDEBARBIE Escape. BOB Who? BLONDEBARBIE I cant splain. You have to believe. This has all taken a very weird turn. BOB How can -Bob sees the waiter approaching the table. BOB Were gonna need a few more minutes. Bob waits until the waiter is out of earshot, before BOB How can I help you? BLONDEBARBIE Youre man. Think of something. (then:) Go up and punch in face. BOB

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Hes three times my size. BLONDEBARBIE Dont you want to help me? And goddamnit she looks vulnerable now. her. Who wouldnt? BOB How? A waiter emerges from the kitchen. his cell phone. Dials. BOB Whats his name? BLONDEBARBIE Mr. Sergei. We zip across the restaurant. The phone rings. Bob has an idea. He takes out Of course he wants to help

MAITRE D (answering the phone) Frankies. (checking the reservation list) One moment, please. He sets the phone down and goes over to Mr. Sergeis table. MAITRE D Mr. Sergei, you have a phone call. Mr. Sergei gets up and follows the matre d to the phone. matre d hands the phone to Mr. Sergei. MR. SERGEI Da? (no response) Hello? He shrugs and hands the phone back. Hes halfway to his table when he sees Bobs booth is now empty. EXT. BACK ALLEY - NIGHT Bob and BB are running up the alleyway. A large car turns in. The

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They turn and run back in the other direction. EXT. RESTAURANT - BACK ALLEY - NIGHT They come to the end of the alley. Dead end. BB tries to open a door. Locked. The car approaches. BB directs Bob to a fire escape. Bob helps her up onto a trash dumpster, then climbs up. He grabs the ladder to the fire escape and pulls it down. Bob and BB climb. EXT. FIRE ESCAPE - THIRD FLOOR - NIGHT BB tugs on Bobs jacket, pulling him toward an open window. climbs through. Bob follows. INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT An ethnic family is eating dinner. They look surprised to see Bob and BB coming through the window. We follow Bob and BB through the kitchen, the living room and out the front door. INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT They race down the hallway. INT. STAIRWELL - NIGHT They come to a stairwell. Bob looks over the railing. A large man is climbing the stairs, huffing loudly. The man looks up. Mr. Sergei! Bob and BB head up the stairs. INT. HALLWAY - FOURTH FLOOR - NIGHT Bob and BB frantically knock on doors. A door opens. woman. Bob and BB barge into her apartment. INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT We follow Bob and BB through the apartment to the fire escape. They climb out the window. EXT. FIRE ESCAPE - NIGHT Bob and BB race down the fire escape. EXT. SIDE STREET - NIGHT Its an old She

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They head down a side street toward a boulevard. EXT. BOULEVARD - NIGHT Bob and BB race down the sidewalk. Mr. Sergei emerges from a building. He sees Bob and BB and takes off after them. Bob and BB cross a busy street. EXT. OUTDOOR MARKET - NIGHT They run down a narrow street, lined with booths and stands. looks over his shoulder. Mr. Sergei is gaining. EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT The market dumps out onto another busy street. Bob sees a garbage truck stopped at a red light. He grabs BBs hand and they sprint to it. Mr. Sergei comes around the corner. The light turns green. The garbage truck rolls forward. Bob jumps up onto the back of it. BB is running as fast as her legs can carry her. Bob reaches out and grabs her hand and pulls her up onto the truck. The garbage truck gains speed, leaving Mr. Sergei in their dust. Bob and BB cling to the truck -- their bodies close. BB feels something through Bobs pants and looks down at his waist. She looks back at him -- giving him a curious smile. BOB (embarrassed) Sorry. INT. CULVERT - NIGHT Bob follows BB through a culvert beneath a busy highway. BOB Hey, whats your name? BLONDEBARBIE Irena. Irena. Nice. Bob likes that. FADE OUT: Bob

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TITLE FADES IN: IRENA FADE IN: EXT. BUSY STREET - NIGHT Irena marches across four lanes of traffic. not to get run over. BOB Where are you going? INT. LA BELLA DONNA - NIGHT The restaurant is upscale, Italian. White tablecloths. in suits and dresses. The waiter takes their orders. IRENA I have the Osso bucco. Excellent. WAITER And for the gentleman? Patrons Bob follows, trying

She looks at Bob, then turns to the waiter. IRENA He have wild boar. WAITER May I recommend the 2008 Tenuta Sette Ponti Oreno. Its bold. Just a hint of blackberry. Bob opens the wine list. The waiter points. to the price. Its $180 a bottle! Bobs eyes move over

BOB (to IRENA, smiles weakly) Why not? IRENA (to the WAITER) Okay, we have the wine. The waiter takes their menus and walks off. Bob looks a little pale. Irena stares at him with a Cheshire grin.

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IRENA I pay. BOB I cant let you do that. IRENA You help me escape Rocco. BOB Whos Rocco? IRENA Rocco is my webmasterand boyfriend. Bobs heart sinks a little. BOB Boyfriend? IRENA He thought he was boyfriend. After we sleep together he become very possessive. He think, because he buy me nice things, he own me. I tell him you cannot buy love. He does not listen. I try to leave, but he find me and bring me back. That is why Mr. Sergei at restaurant tonight, to watch me so I cannot run away. The waiter arrives with the bottle of wine. He opens it and pours a little into Bobs glass. Bob tastes. BOB Its good. The waiter fills Irenas glass. She smiles and nods at the waiter, sending him away. She grabs a slice of bread and butters it. IRENA Every time I sleep with man, he think he is special. Every time. Bob feels a little jealous, wondering how many men shes slept with. I pay.

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BOB How long were you together? IRENA We were not together. I dont want to talk about it. (she shakes her head) Is my fault. I should never sleep with boss. It was only two times, but two times and he is already so in love with me. Bob can only stare -- thinking about all Irena has just revealed. BOB Why me? She looks at him across the table. IRENA Because you are nice guy. DISSOLVE TO: INT. LA BELLA DONNA - NIGHT Dinner is over. We can see from the empty glasses and plates that they also ordered dessert and a second bottle of wine. The waiter lays the bill down in front of Bob. Irena makes no attempt to reach for it. Bob looks a little uneasy. Notices shes looking at something across the restaurant and turns. A large man (50s) is looking over at them. Hes wearing a grey suit, a Stetson and a bolo tie. The man smiles and tips his hat. Bob turns back to Irena. She smiles at the man. BOB Do you know him? Irena gets up without saying a word and goes over to him. Bob watches them conversing. The man gets up and follows Irena back over to Bobs table. IRENA Bob, this is old friend. Bob stands. Offers his hand. Smiles softly.

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BOB. Nice to meet you. The man is unsure what to make of Bobs hand. and grasps hold of it. THE MAN Nice to meet you, young fellah. IRENA (to BOB) Me and friend talk in privacy. okay? Bob has no idea whats happening. BOB Okay. The two walk off together. wait. INT. MENS ROOM - NIGHT The man hangs his coat and hat on a hook by the sink. The two move toward the stall. The man swings the door open for her. THE MAN After you, little lady. Irena enters. The man follows. The door swings closed. Bob sits back down. All he can do is Finally, he smiles

Wait for me,

Feels a little awkward.

INT. MENS ROOM - NIGHT Irena stands at the sink, freshening her lipstick. remains in the stall, sitting on the crapper. THE MAN (from the stall, straining) People think cuz ya got vinyl siding ya live in a plastic house. Horseshit! She catches herself in the mirror. to her. She looks away. Her reflection looks strange The man

THE MAN (CONTD)

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Plus ynever have to paint it, so the potential savings can be astronomical. Irenas eyes focus on the mans coat. pocket and takes his wallet. INT. LA BELLA DONNA - NIGHT Irena returns to the table. Lets go. BOB Wheres your friend? IRENA Making phone call. Bob tries to help her on with her jacket, but she grabs it from him. BOB What about the check? IRENA He pay. Bob stares at her. IRENA Bobby, lets go. She grabs his hand and pulls him toward the exit. EXT. LA BELLA DONNA - NIGHT Irena hails a cab. The cab stops. Bob opens the door for her. Irena climbs in back. Bob stands there, unsure what to do next. IRENA Are you coming, Bobby? Bob climbs in back with Irena, and closes the door. INT. CAB - NIGHT Bob stands. She reaches into the coat

IRENA

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The cab speeds through the city. Bob and Irena are making out like a couple of crazed teenagers -- their lips probing -- devouring each other. INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT Bob and Irena are checking-in, their lips still locked. could, theyd make love right on the counter. CLERK And how would you like to pay for the room this evening? Irena slides a credit card across the counter. INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT The door crashes open. Bob and Irena lean against the doorway, still kissing -- Bobs hands feeling their way over her lithe body. They move to the bed, collapsing on it. She pulls her dress over her head and drops it on the floor. wearing ivory thigh highs. Shes If they

Bob fumbles to unbutton his shirt. Irena tugs on it. Bob gives up on the buttons and helps Irena pull it over his head. She unbuckles his belt, unbuttons his pants and pulls them down. Then, she straddles him. DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Bob and Irena are lying under the sheets. Bob is wiped out. Completely satisfied. Irena plays with his hand -- tracing his fingers -- comparing his hand to hers. Suddenly: BOB Im in love with you. Irena stops tracing. She doesnt say a word.

BOB I shouldnt have said that. IRENA

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(stares back at him) No, is sweet. I like you too, Bobby. BOB You do? Irena nods. Resumes tracing his fingers. Bob stares at her.

BOB I dont want you to ever feel scared or be a prisoner to anyone. Her eyes fill with worry. IRENA I do not feel safe here. She stares at him and touches his hair, then kisses him quickly and deeply on the mouth. I have to go. Where? LA. IRENA I have friend there. IRENA Somewhere far away from here. BOB

Bob feels like he was just sucker punched in the stomach. IRENA Whats wrong? BOB I just met you and youre already leaving? She climbs on top of him, straddling his chest. Looks down at him, her long hair hanging down and tickling his face. IRENA Come with me. BOB What? IRENA

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You drive me to Los Angeles. Bob laughs. Its absurd.

IRENA I can be Bobbys girlfriend. Bob stops laughing. BOB Look, I. Its very tempting, but I dont even have a car anymore. IRENA You dont have car? I sold it. you. BOB Thats how I got the money to see

Irena doesnt know what to make of this. BOB And, I mean, I have to get back to my job and everything. She looks down at him. Strokes his hair. IRENA Is it good job? BOB No. It sucks. She leans down and kisses his neck. BOB Ive never seen the ocean before. Their eyes lock. The sexual intensity between them is so electric it practically sizzles. Fuck it. BOB Lets go to Los Angeles. CUT TO:

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KIEV UKRAINE - TO ESTABLISH Looking across the Dnieper river at a vast cityscape dotted with baroque architecture, modern buildings, skyscrapers. Super: Kiev Ukraine. CUT TO: THREE PAIRS OF SHOES clomping loudly upon a parquet floor -Russian paratrooper boots, black calfskin Tanino Crisci loafers, and cowboy boots. THE CAMERA TILTS UP And now we see the owners of the shoes: A bald man (late 30s), an older man (mid 50s), and a young man (late 20s). The older man is thick and athletic, and his hair is as black as a ravens wing. The young man is wearing jeans and a tight tee-shirt. INT. YURIS OFFICE - DAY The room is large and arching, like a small ballroom. An older Russian man sits behind a hand-carved desk, looking out at the city. This is YURI PURISHKEVITCH. Yuri is a man you definitely dont cross. The three men stand before his desk. them. A moment passes. Then Yuri doesnt turn to greet

YURI (in Ukrainian with English subtitles) Shes in the United States. The IP address was traced to a scumbag named, Slopovich. The three men exchange looks. YURI Misha? The three turn back to him. Only now does Yuri turn to face them. His face is purple with rage. YURI I want his fucking head! Thats it. They turn to leave.

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FADE OUT: TITLE FADES IN: THE THREE DMITRYS FADE IN: INT. BAGGAGE CLAIM - JFK AIRPORT - DAY An American flag hangs from the concourse ceiling. Bald Dmitry and Older Dmitry are at the baggage carousal. Older Dmitrys Hermes duffle bag is slung over his shoulder. Hes watching their young cohort. Young Dmitry is attempting to light a cigarette. An airport employee tells him he cant smoke here. Young Dmitry mutters and slips the cigarette behind his ear. (Note: Unless otherwise indicated, they are speaking Ukrainian with English subtitles.) BALD DMITRY Hes been drinking since Kiev. Young Dmitrys drunken eyes latch onto a large-bosomed blonde, strutting toward him pulling a cowskin rollaway suitcase. YOUNG DMITRY (in English, heavily accented) Nice bags. Bald Dmitry grabs his battered suitcase off the carousel. held together with duct tape. Young Dmitry approaches. BALD DMITRY Wheres your bags? Young Dmitry gives him a questioning look. BALD DMITRY Dont you have luggage? The young man reaches into his leather jacket and pulls out a toothbrush. Bald Dmitry frowns and looks to Older Dmitry. Older Dmitry couldnt give a fuck. They head toward customs. INT. AIRPLANE - DAY The plane is taxiing to the runway. Young Dmitry presses the red call button. A young female flight attendant approaches. Its

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YOUNG DMITRY (holding up his empty cup) I wann nother. Im sorry, sir. YOUNG FLIGHT ATTENDANT Youll have to wait.

She turns and heads back up the aisle. YOUNG DMITRY (drunkenly) Bitch. He leans forward and peers around the seatback. A teenage girl is in the seat in front of him. He taps her on the arm. Hey. Hey. YOUNG DMITRY Lets go to bathroom and fuck.

The girls mother glares at him. YOUNG DMITRY Not you fatty, lil girl. MAN SITTING NEXT TO YOUNG DMITRY Hey, buddy, take it easy, huh? Young Dmitry sits back and stares at the man. YOUNG DMITRY (menacingly) Hey, buddy, why dont you shut fucking mouth before I rip tongue out and shove so far up ass, you will have to stand on tiptoes to suck lollipop. The passenger backs down. Young Dmitry looks at his empty cup. Huffs. He unbuckles his seatbelt. Bald Dmitry and Older Dmitry are a few rows back. Bald Dmitry nudges Older Dmitry. Older Dmitry looks up from his book. A flight attendant sees Young Dmitry moving unsteadily toward her. FLIGHT ATTENDANT Sir, return to your seat!

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YOUNGER DMITRY I wann drink! Young Dmitry grabs the handset to the PA system. Bald Dmitry unbuckles his seatbelt. and shakes his head, No. Older Dmitry grabs his arm

YOUNG DMITRY (over the PA) Cmon bitches, I fuck every motherfucking one of you right here on floor! A female flight attendant grabs the handset and tries to wrestle it from him. Another flight attendant (male) and several passengers join her -- as YOUNG DMITRY (singing) No, no, no you ain't got to say too much From look in your eye I can tell you wann to fuck. And you ain't got to call me boo Just as bad as you wann to fuck I wann to fuck too. They wrestle him to the floor. INT. CORRIDOR - DAY Older Dmitry and Bald Dmitry are sitting on plastic chairs outside an imposing looking door marked Airport Police. Theyve been sitting there a long time. Finally, the door opens and Young Dmitry -- looking contrite and very hung over -- appears, a free man. His two compatriots stand. They dont look happy to see him. EXT. CAR RENTAL PARKING LOT - NIGHT The three men are walking to their rental car. YOUNG DMITRY They took my passport. How the fuck am I getting home? No response. The young man chuckles.

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Im sorry.

YOUNG DMITRY When drink I get --

Older Dmitry wheels around, grabs him by the collar and slams him against a car. Hes scary pissed. OLDER DMITRY I think when Yuri asks why we had to drive halfway across the fucking country, he wont find it so amusing. This puts the fear of God in the young mans eyes. has made his point and releases his grip. OLDER DMITRY (to BALD DMITRY) Keep him the fuck away from me. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. BOBS FAMILY HOME - DAY A typical house in a typical suburban neighborhood. INT. BOBS FAMILY HOME - FRONT DOOR - DAY A doorbell chimes and the front door is answered by a middle-aged woman wearing mom jeans. This is Bobs mother, DOROTHY. Bob and Irena are smiling wide behind the screen door. Bob! BOBS MOTHER What are you doing here? The older man

INT. KITCHEN - DAY Bob, Irena, and Bobs mother are in the kitchen. mixing raw hamburger in a bowl with her hands. Bobs mother is

BOB So, the next thing I know, were being chased up fire escapes and through the city by this big Lurchy lookin dude named Mr. Sergei. Irena looks at Bob and smiles. self-consciously. Bob blushes and looks away

BOBS MOTHER

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What exactly is a cam girl, dear? BOB Oh, its like a stripper, only they do it privately over the internet. IRENA But I am not whore. BOBS MOTHER (awkward, uncomfortable) Well isnt thatuh -BOB -- wheres dad? BOBS MOTHER You know your father. The last time I saw him his feet were poking out from underneath Xena. INT. GARAGE - DAY Bobs fathers feet are sticking out from underneath his pride and joy, XENA, a 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle. On the hood is a painting of Lucy Lawless in full Xena regalia. BOB Dad? BOBS FATHER Bob? Bobs father rolls out from underneath the car. sees Bob standing over him. BOBS FATHER You in trouble? BOB No, I was just, uh. How have you been? He looks up and

Oh.

BOBS FATHER (suspiciously) Fine. BOB (turning to the car)

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Hey, Xenas lookin good, huh? BOBS FATHER -- hand!

Are those new --

Hes glaring at Bobs hand resting on the front fender. Bob removes it. Sees a handprint. He buffs it with his sleeve. BOBS FATHER (horrified) Not your sleeve! Bobs father grabs a special microfiber buffing cloth. Bob steps aside. His father buffs the handprint off the fender. BOBS FATHER So, to what do we owe the pleasure, Bob? BOB Oh, you know, we were just passing through, and -BOBS FATHER -- we? INT. BOBS OLD BEDROOM - DAY The room is being used for a storeroom. Cardboard boxes and plastic bins are piled high on the floor and bed. Irena is in the room alone. She wanders, her eyes passing over posters for Cannibal Holocaust and House Of 1000 Corpses. She pauses over a school photo taken of Bob in the second grade -- toothless Bob smiling at the camera. Her eyes fall on a stack of paintings. She flips through them. Bob ENTERS carrying a pile of his sisters clothes. IRENA Who draw these? Me. BOB I did them.

Bob stands next to her. Irenas a little surprised to see Bob has talent. She stops at a portrait of an old man.

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BOB My grandfather. She looks at the picture and smiles. in a little frame and picks it up. IRENA Is this Bobs sister? She sees a family portrait

She is pretty.

BOB She used to be a little wild, but -IRENA -- whos this? BOB Oh, thats my older brother, Dick. IRENA I thought your father is Dick. BOB Theyre both Dick. My fathers Big Dick and my brothers Little Dick, even though hes about a foot taller. Irena sets the picture back down and turns to Bob. meet. Irena quickly looks away. INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT All are gathered around the dinner table eating meatloaf. BOBS FATHER Ill be honest; when Bob told me he brought a girl home, I was thinkin shes gotta weigh at least two bills and make Ugly Betty look like a runway model. BOBS MOTHER Bobby didnt date much. BOBS FATHER At all, Dorothy. (bobbing his knife at IRENA) And thats why Im still trying to figure this situation out. Their eyes

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IRENA (turning to BOB for clarification) SorryI dont understand. BOB He means, what are you doing with a loser like me? BOBS FATHER Now, son, I didnt call you a loser, but lets look at this situation rationally here for a moment. You got no skills. Youre not particularly bright. (to IRENA) Yknow how they say everyone is born with a talent. Not Bob. God was off taking a dump when it was Bobs turn in line. I cant think of one goddamn thing he was even good at. BOBS MOTHER (smiling, remembering) Nope. BOBS FATHER Not sports. Pfft, definitely not school. (to IRENA) I thought he had some sort of learning thing. You know, disability. BOBS MOTHER Oh, Dick. BOBS FATHER No, seriously, I thought he was retarded. BOBS MOTHER (embarrassed) Oh, Dick, dont say that. (turning to BOB and IRENA) Mentally challenged, thats the correct term now isnt it? BOBS FATHER One time, at Christmas, we had these candles that you put in the window. And the light bulb had burned out in one of em. So I took

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it out and told Bob to take care of it. So, I go back to decorating the tree, when all of a sudden theres this flash and an explosion. BOBS MOTHER (to IRENA) More like a loud pop. BOBS FATHER (annoyed) An explosion, Dorothy. I remember, there was a bluish flash and an explosion, and the entire neighborhood went dark. Apparently, Einstein here tried to light it with a match! After all these years the story still sends Bobs parents into fits of hysterics. Irena laughs too, until she sees Bobs face, red with humiliation. BOBS FATHER Okay, enough bullshit. Why are you here? BOB Just visiting. BOBS FATHER Hey, do I have asshole tattooed across my forehead? Why arent you at work? BOB I quit. BOBS MOTHER (gasps) You quit? What will you do for money? BOBS FATHER Ill tell ya what theyll do. Theyre gonna hit us up, isnt that right, Bob? BOB No. I was justyou know, hoping we could get a loan -BOBS FATHER (arms shooting up in victory) -- I knew it!

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BOB Ill pay you back. BOBS FATHER In what, food stamps? INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Bob is sleeping on the sofa. their bedroom. He can hear his parents talking in

BOBS FATHERS VOICE Theres gotta be somethin wrong with her. Shes radioactive or has tentacles or somethin. BOBS MOTHERS VOICE Oh, Dick. BOBS FATHERS VOICE Maybe hes paying her. BOBS MOTHERS VOICE You think shes a? BOBS FATHERS VOICE Well, that would explain it, wouldnt it? IRENA Bobby? Bob sits up and looks over the back of the couch. in the hallway. BOB Whats wrong? IRENA (little girl voice) I can not fall sleep in strange bed. Can you lay next to me until I fall sleep. BOB Sure. Bob hurls himself off the sofa like he was shot from a catapult. Irena is standing

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INT. BOBS OLD BEDROOM - NIGHT Bob and Irena are lying next to each other on the bed. IRENA Why do you and father not like each other? BOB I dont know. When my grandfather died he left me a little money to use for college. I was good at art. Thats all I did was draw. When it was time to graduate I sent an application to the Kansas City Art Institute. Didnt tell anyone. I didnt think Id get in. But they accepted me. I couldnt believe it. When I asked the old man for the money he looks at me and says, What money? The money gramps left me to go to college with, I said. He just laughed and said, Dumbass, whaddaya think weve been livin on? He bought that car around the same time. IRENA You dont go to art school? BOB Nope. Irenas heart breaks for him. Bob turns to her.

BOB But it all worked out, cuz maybe if I had gone to art school I wouldnt have met you. Irena smiles. Their eyes lock.

A SHORT TIME LATER Bob is lying on top of her, his hips thrusting. Mattress springs squeak and the bedposts knock against the wall. THE CAMERA TRAVELS THROUGH THE WALL Bobs father is snoring. His mother is lying awake next to him. The bedposts thud and Bob and Irenas moans penetrate. BACK IN BOBS OLD BEDROOM

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Bob and Irena are coming to climax -- their breath catching -- their bodies bucking. And then its over. He collapses on top her, exhausted. holds onto him, completely wiped out. INT. BOBS PARENTS ROOM - NIGHT Bobs parents are sleeping. Bob noiselessly opens the dresser drawer. The drawer creaks. Bob freezes. Looks over at his parents. Still asleep. He sticks his hand in and feels around. Pulls out a sock. He reaches into the sock and takes out a wad of cash. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Bob and Irena are leaving through the side door. Bob reaches for the keys to his mothers minivan. Irena takes his hand and moves it to the set of keys hanging beside them -- the keys with a shiny chrome keychain inscribed with the name Big Dick. Bob stares at Irena. EXT. BOBS PARENTS HOUSE - DRIVEWAY - NIGHT The V-8 rumbles low and gassy. The garage door rattles open. The black Chevelle explodes backwards out of the garage doing about sixty. Bob takes out a row of metal trashcans at the end of the driveway. The car flies over the curb and onto the street, the trashcans scattering like bowling pins. INT. BOBS PARENTS BEDROOM - NIGHT Bobs father startles awake. INT. CHEVELLE - NIGHT Bob smashes his foot down on the gas pedal. INT. BOBS PARENTS BEDROOM - NIGHT Bobs father makes it to the window in time to see his beloved car screaming down the street. BOBS FATHER (shouting, panicked) Call the cops! That sonuvabitch just She

42.

kidnapped Xena! DISSOLVE TO: INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - HEADING WEST - DAY Nothing but straight road and grasslands for as far as the eye can see. Bob ponders his life and smiles. We HOLD on him smiling for what seems like an inordinate amount of time. He looks over at Irena. Shes reading a fashion magazine, sitting with her long, slender legs up on the seat. She feels Bobs eyes and looks up. She stares at him from behind her white-rimmed Jackie O inspired sunglasses and smiles too. DISSOLVE TO: INT. BANK - 11:43 A.M. - DAY An ordinary Wednesday in Las Vegas, Nevada. An elderly woman approaches a female teller. She could be anyones grandma. TELLER (chirpy) Good morning, Maam. How may I help you? The old woman sets a canvas tote bag on the counter and places a small cylindrical device against her neck under her jaw. The device is called an electrolarynx, and is used by those who have lost their voice box to cancer. Her voice is electronic. Lacking any inflection at all. OLD WOMAN I have a gun. Put all the money into the bag or Ill blow your motherfucking head off. (turning to THE CUSTOMERS) This is a stick up. Everyone kiss the floor. No one moves. The old woman reaches into her handbag and pulls out the biggest fucking handgun weve ever seen, and thats because it is -- a Vest Buster 50-calibre Smith and Wesson Magnum. The revolver is almost comically huge. OLD WOMAN Down on the fuckin floor.

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And now they see this is definitely no joke. down on their stomachs.

The customers get

The teller quickly fills the bag with cash, her hands shaking. INT. GETAWAY CAR - DRIVING - DAY The Granny Bandit is speeding away from the scene. Her driver is a large, bald man in his early 30s. Hes wearing a flat cap and hee-hawing like a hillbilly on Nitrous. The car goes through an intersection and is immediately T-boned by an 87 Chevrolet Chevette. EXT. STREET - SAME The getaway car (a 93 Ford Taurus) spins several times, hits a traffic signal pole, and comes to rest on the sidewalk. INT. GETAWAY CAR - DAY The Granny Bandit and her driver are stunned. A good Samaritan sticks his head in through the shattered window. GOOD SAMARITAN Maam, are you all right? Suddenly, the man feels the cold, hard steel of the old womans .50 cal under his chin. EXT. STREET - DAY The Granny Bandit and her driver exit the wrecked car and hustle with the good Samaritan over to his car, a 2001 Peugeot sedan. The three pile in -- the old woman forcing the good Samaritan behind the wheel -- and the car speeds off. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. DESOLATE HIGHWAY - DAY The good Samaritans Peugeot has been abandoned on the side of the road. Several FBI agents, in suits and dress shirts, are standing at the rear. One of the agents pops the trunk. The agents instantly react to the stench. AGENTS

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Jesus! MOMENTS LATER

Fuck!

Several agents are following AGENT GARNER to his car. Garner is the lead FBI agent assigned to the Granny Bandit case. GARNER I want the names of everyone fitting the profile. If they were caught cheating at their local church bingo night, I wanna know who they are. SPECIAL AGENT LARKIN (30), an attractive, but overworked woman, is unconvinced. AGENT LARKIN Sir, what if the suspects not elderly? Garner stops walking and looks at her. GARNER Larkin, youre givin me a stomachache. AGENT LARKIN I just think its premature to determine the age of the -GARNER -- Larkin, thats a good project for you. Yeah, I want background checks on every woman in the entire metropolitan Vegas area. Find out what they were doing around 11:30 this morning. Hell, why stop there? Include every woman over the age of fourteen in the entire state of Nevada. Uh, you do think our perps a woman? Larkin stares at Garner. Shes definitely noncommittal. Garner rolls his eyes. Larkin, her face burning, watches the agents chuckling and walking with Garner to his car. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Out the window we see sagebrush and Joshua trees. Bob drives.

45.

IRENA How much vood could voodchuck chuck if voodchuck could chuck vood? What is voodchuck? BOB Woodchuck. IRENA Voodchuck. BOB No, vood -- shit, now Im saying it! Wood-chuck. IRENA Thats what I say, voodchuck. BOB Try this one: Rubber baby buggy bumpers. IRENA Ruby boobie booger bumpers. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bobs car is parked in front of a gas station/mini mart. Irena waits in the car and watches Bob through the window. She looks down and sees Bobs cell phone. INT. GAS STATION/MINI MART - DAY The cashier is making Bob a Super Colossal Slushy Gulp. BOB Im getting a brain freeze just looking at that thing. He glances out the window. Irena is no longer in the car.

EXT. BEHIND THE GAS STATION/MINI MART - DAY Irena is standing near the trash dumpsters. Shes talking Ukrainian to someone on Bobs cell phone. Shes very upset. IRENA

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(subtitled) Dont worry. It will all be okay. We CROSS-CUT back and forth to THE YOUNG MAN Irena is talking to. Its a TIGHT SHOT of the YOUNG MAN. We cant see anything beyond his nose and chin; but other than his dirty mustache, there are a few things we can tell about him: Hes in his 20s. Hes Slav. Hes scared shitless. THE YOUNG MAN Irena, these men want to hurt me. get them their money -If I dont

IRENA (crying) -- well get the money. Just hold on for a few more days. (beat. Silence) Nikki? Just a few more days. All right. Irena? Irena startles at the sound of Bobs voice. She quickly wipes her eyes and slips the cell phone into her pocket. She turns to him smiling. BOB You okay? Irena nods. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Bob is troubled. He looks over at Irena. Shes slurping her slushy and reading her magazine. Bobs cell phone rings. Its Dave. We CROSS-CUT back and forth between Bob and Dave. BOB Dave! DAVE Bob, where the fuck are you, man? mans callin me nonstop. Your old THE YOUNG MAN Youre my angel. BOB (OFF CAMERA)

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BOB What did you tell him? DAVE I didnt tell him anything. BOB I didnt steal her. justa sec. You stole, Xena?

Hell get her back -Then Bob saying,

Dave hears a female voice muttering something. Its my roommate, Dave. DAVE Whos that? Irena. -- who? BOB Im giving her -DAVE

Bob lowers his voice and turns away from Irena. BOB Blonde Barbie. DAVE (in disbelief) She ran off with you? Sort of. BOB Its -Youre like my

DAVE -- un-fucking-believable. new personal Han Solo.

BOB For once my reckless, compulsive stupidity paid off. DAVE Thats awesome! Where are you? BOB

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Some highway.

Well be in Vegas tonight.

DAVE Un-fuckin-believable. (beat) Hey, you sound really happy. BOB I am. Bob looks over at Irena. INT. BOBS APARTMENT - DAY Were CLOSE ON DAVES FRIGHTENED FACE. just OFF CAMERA. He looks up at something

DAVE So, youre gonna let me go now, right? That was the deal. I get you the information and you let me goright? THE CAMERA PULLS SLOWLY BACK -- REVEALING Dave, wearing only his jockey underwear, is sitting on a chair. Mr. Sergei and another man (white -- dressed in the latest in hip hop fashion) stand over him. DAVE Hey Yakov, youre gonna let me goda? Mr. Hip Hop holds up the phone and shows the phone number to a man whose back is to us and whose face we cant see. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. BUSY HIGHWAY - DAY A divey-looking strip club off the road. A large sign, emblazoned in pink neon, tells us this place is called The Pussy Shack. A black Mercedes is parked in front. INT. THE PUSSY SHACK - DAY The Three Dmitrys stroll in. A topless girl is performing a lackluster pole dance. A few bored and sleazy-looking patrons sit around. The Three Dmitrys approach the bar.

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The bartender is talking to one of the strippers. The Three Dmitrys wait, but the bartender completely ignores them. MOMENTS LATER Bald Dmitry grabs the strippers arm and pulls her roughly off the stool. The stripper screams and runs in back. BARTENDER What the fuck? OLDER DMITRY Were looking for Slopovich. BARTENDER Hes not here. OLDER DMITRY When will he be back? The bartender is a big man and is in no way intimidated. BARTENDER He didnt say. If youre gonna order, order. If not, get the fuck out. JUMP CUT TO: The bartenders bloodied face smashing against the bar. Bald Dmitry holds the mans arm behind his back and presses his face into the counter. OLDER DMITRY Where can we find Mr. Slopovich? I dont know. Dude? BARTENDER Yeah, some motherfucker ran off with one of his girls. BARTENDER He went after some dude. OLDER DMITRY

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OLDER DMITRY Which girl? BARTENDER Roccos girlfriend, Blonde Barbie. The Three Dmitrys exchange looks. Fuck, man. BARTENDER Youre gonna break my fuckin --

OLDER DMITRY -- whats the name of this motherfucker who took her? BARTENDER I dont know, man. I swear to fuckin -OLDER DMITRY (to YOUNG DMITRY) -- get the blowtorch. BARTENDER Wait! We have his info. He paid for his night on his credit card. INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT The Three Dmitrys ENTER. Theres only two beds. Older Dmitry sets his bag down on the far bed, leaving the two men to fight over the other one. YOUNG DMITRY Lets flip for it. BALD DMITRY Fuck you, Im not sleeping on the floor! The two men continue to argue. goes quietly into THE BATHROOM He turns on the light and closes the door. and removes a photograph. Theres a loud crash in the other room. Takes out his wallet Older Dmitry pays no attention and

The two men are shouting

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at each other. Something large slams against the wall. Dmitry barely reacts. Looks at the photo.

Older

ON THE PHOTO: A beautiful woman. Shes staring at the camera, her face bathed in morning sunlight. OUT IN THE OTHER ROOM The two men are beating the shit out of each other. BACK IN THE BATHROOM Older Dmitry stares at the photo and smiles sadly. INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Older Dmitry comes out of the bathroom. The room is a shambles. Bald Dmitry is lying victoriously on the bed with a cracked lip, channel surfing. Young Dmitry is sitting dejectedly in the chair, holding a block of ice to his face. YOUNG DMITRY Wait, that was Rambo. Turn back. Bald Dmitry ignores him. Keeps flipping. Young Dmitry is about to protest, but thinks better of it. Finally, he gets up out of the chair and heads for the bathroom. YOUNG DMITRY Im taking a shower. INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Older Dmitry is sitting up in bed, reading a novel -- The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. Young Dmitry is sitting on the other bed cutting his toenails. Hes completely naked. YOUNG DMITRY So, I met this bitch at a party. (Clip!) Her husband was passed out downstairs. (Clip!) So, I took her to the upstairs bathroom and fucked her on the sink. (Clip!) I fucked her so hard she broke the mirror with the back of her head. (Clip!) Then the bitch goes down on me, right? And shes slurping and sucking on my cock like a fucking sucker fish. (Clip!) So, I make

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like Im about to cum, right? Bald Dmitry comes out of the bathroom. BALD DMITRY -- get the fuck off my bed! Young Dmitry huffs and gets off the bed. BALD DMITRY And put some clothes on.

When --

Older Dmitry closes his book and turns off the light. OLDER DMITRY Lights out. YOUNG DMITRY Its not even eleven oclock. Older Dmitry doesnt respond. Goes into the bathroom and closes the door. Bald Dmitry and Young Dmitry exchange looks. INT. BAR - NIGHT We find Bald Dmitry and Young Dmitry sitting at a bar, drinking what else, vodka. A muscular young man walks past them. Bald Dmitry notices Young Dmitry checking him out and is taken aback. YOUNG DMITRY (turning to BALD DMITRY) Whys he have to be such a grim bastard all the time? BALD DMITRY I wouldnt describe Dmitry as grim. YOUNG DMITRY Ever seen him smile? BALD DMITRY (thinking about it, then:) No. YOUNG DMITRY

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So, in twenty years you havent learned anything more, other than what you know about him professionally? BALD DMITRY He retired about eight years ago. Disappeared off the face of the earth. No word. Nothing. Then five years later he came out of retirement. YOUNG DMITRY What was he doing for five years? BALD DMITRY He didnt say and I didnt -YOUNG DMITRY -- and whys he only read sappy romance novels? BALD DMITRY Dont be so curious. Youll live longer in this business if you stop asking so many -YOUNG DMITRY -- relax, were just having a conversation. Young Dmitry looks over at the couple to his right for a moment. Turns back to Bald Dmitry. YOUNG DMITRY (edging closer) So, you dont know what he was doing? BALD DMITRY Some thought he traveled. Others thought he came here. YOUNG DMITRY The United States? What do you think? BALD DMITRY What do I think? (mulls it over. Then:) We got drunk after work one night and once, he mentioned something about Katherine. I said something about being a horrible dancer and he said, Katherine used to say I danced like a fish flopping on the pavement.

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YOUNG DMITRY Who the fucks Katherine? BALD DMITRY Thats what I asked him, and then he shut up. Hasnt mentioned her since. Young Dmitry ponders Katherine. INT. MOTEL ROOM - LATE NIGHT Older Dmitry lies awake in bed. Insomnia again. throws off the covers and gets out of bed. INT. COFFEE SHOP - LATE NIGHT Older Dmitry sits at a booth reading his book. The waitress, a pretty girl (about 20), approaches with a fresh pot of coffee. WAITRESS Would you like a refill? Older Dmitry nods. WAITRESS (pouring) I love that book. He marks the page with his finger and looks up at her. OLDER DMITRY Youve read? WAITRESS No, but I love the movie, with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. Have you seen it? Older Dmitry lightly shakes his head. WAITRESS Where are you from? OLDER DMITRY I am from Ukraine. WAITRESS Finally, he Meanwhile

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Is that anywhere near France? OLDER DMITRY (lies) Not so far. WAITRESS I design clothes. My dream is to one day see my fashions on some Paris catwalk. Older Dmitry smiles. WAITRESS Whats your name? OLDER DMITRY My name Dmitry. WAITRESS You look like a Dmitry. -- Amanda. WAITRESS (amazed) Howd you -(then, realizing) Older Dmitry smiles and points at her nametag. WAITRESS (embarrassed, laughing) What a dunce. Well, it was nice to meet you, Dmitry. OLDER DMITRY I hope one day you see your clothes on Paris catwalk, Amanda. WAITRESS (smiles) Thanks. Older Dmitry watches her, then turns back to his book. DISSOLVE TO: Im --

OLDER DMITRY

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INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - NIGHT Bob reaches over and gently pats Irenas arm. Irena opens her eyes. Far off in the distance, the lights of Las Vegas glow like a constellation in the middle of the desert. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - NIGHT Bob and Irena are driving down Las Vegas Boulevard. Thousands of glittering lights from the casinos and hotels along The Strip are reflected on the cars windshield. Bob and Irena are in awe. Theyve never seen anything like it. INT. CASINO - NIGHT Bobs playing craps. The dealer places the marker on the four. Bob rolls. The dice come up five and three. The dealer picks up the dice and hands them back to Bob. Bob turns to Irena and holds the dice up in front of her lips. Irena blows on them for luck, then Bob rolls again. The dice come up a hard four -- two and two. The crowd gathered around the table, cheers and Irena screams and hugs him as the dealer drops Bobs winning chips onto the table. INT. CASINO LOUNGE - NIGHT Bob and Irena are sitting at a table. Bob is looking at Irena and swirling a few ice cubes around in the bottom of his glass. Irena traces the rim of her wine glass with her finger. She knows Bob is staring at her and smiles sheepishly at the glass. Finally, she looks up. Bob smiles softly at her. She holds his gaze for a moment longer, then looks back down at her glass. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - 6:30 A.M. Older Dmitry zips up his duffle bag and slings it over his shoulder. Bald Dmitry is sprawled facedown across the other bed. Hes sleeping on top of the covers, still in the clothes he wore last night. Young Dmitry is nowhere in sight. OLDER DMITRY Were leaving.

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Bald Dmitry stirs. Looks up in time to see Older Dmitry heading out the door. The door slams. Young Dmitry sits bolt upright. Now we can see he was sleeping on the floor. INT. DENNYS - DAY Bald Dmitry and Young Dmitry are eating a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage and pancakes smothered in syrup. Older Dmitry has ordered only coffee. Hes reading the newspaper. YOUNG DMITRY (chewing, to OLDER DMITRY) You dont like the food? No response. Young Dmitry taps the newspaper with his knife.

Older Dmitry peers around the paper. His eyes are like a snakes warning a child not to fuck with it. He turns back to his newspaper without saying a word. YOUNG DMITRY Un-fucking-believable. He turns to Bald Dmitry for support, but Bald Dmitry definitely isnt feeling a kinship. YOUNG DMITRY (to the newspaper) So, whos Katherine? No response. Bald Dmitry is gaping at him in horror and shaking his head furiously -- lipping, No!, No! Young Dmitry ignores him. Tries to peer around the newspaper. YOUNG DMITRY She was a woman, right? The love of your life? Im betting she died. Something tragic, right? Shes like the tragedy of your life, and I think shes the reason youre so unhappy. No response. YOUNG DMITRY Cmon, man. Im just holding a mirror up and trying to get you to face it. You have to face it or youll never move on. (turning back to his food)

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You know Im right. You should smile more. I guarantee youll feel better. I just think youd be happier if you were, you knowhappier. No one speaks. Young Dmitry eats his pancakes. Bald Dmitry sits frozen on his seat, his eyes moving back and forth from the newspaper to Young Dmitry. A moment passes. Then OLDER DMITRY (from behind the newspaper) Lets hold the mirror in front of you for a moment. I think you look at yourself in the mirror and detest what you see. Young Dmitry laughs like its the most ridiculous thing hes ever heard in his life. YOUNG DMITRY I love looking at myself, Dee. OLDER DMITRY What you see is a charade. YOUNG DMITRY (smiles) Really? OLDER DMITRY (from behind the newspaper) I think you fetishize your sexual encounters because thats the only way you can ejaculate with a woman. The woman is immaterial. Its the object that gets you off. The way you dress, your fake machismo, are all affectations meant to veil your deep, dark secret, which you continue to deny, but what is so patently obvious to everyone who sees you. Young Dmitry is smiling, but his body is starting to tremble. YOUNG DMITRY And whats that? Older Dmitry lowers the newspaper. OLDER DMITRY (like its obvious)

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That youre a fag. Bald Dmitry winces. Young Dmitry emits a partial chuckle and stares in disbelief. YOUNG DMITRY What? Older Dmitry stares at him. cold, blue steel. His eyes are fixed and deadly like

OLDER DMITRY I said that while were sitting here having this friendly chat, the one thing that drives you to distraction -- the one thing youve known about yourself since you were old enough to know the difference, but you refuse to accept -- is that youd rather be sucking on a mans cock. Young Dmitry reaches for his handgun. Older Dmitry flips the table over on top of him. Young Dmitrys chair collapses. He finds himself pinned to the floor. Unable to move -- Older Dmitry kneeling on the table now, his full weight pressing down on the young mans chest. Young Dmitry feels the cold steel of the older mans SIG Sauer against his temple. The customers and waitresses are frozen like mannequins, gaping in shock and astonishment. OLDER DMITRY If you ever fucking speak to me again Ill kill you. Older Dmitry rises to his feet and slips his pistol back into its holster. He follows Bald Dmitry to the door. Young Dmitry grimaces and picks himself up out of the debris. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - MORNING Bobs at the bathroom sink, shaving. Irenas on the bed flipping through channels -- KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS -- PILATES WITH SUSAN LUCCI, then: A breaking news story.

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TV ANCHORWOMAN (from the TV) dubbed the Granny Bandit has struck again in what authorities are calling Irena continues flipping. Wait, go back. Irena flips back to the previous channel. ON TV: A surveillance photo of the Granny Bandit taken during one of her bank robberies. TV ANCHORWOMAN occurred before noon at the Las Vegas Federal Savings and Loan BOB Shes out of control. IRENA Who? BOB This Granny Bandit. for months now. Shes been robbing banks Bob steps from the bathroom. BOB

IRENA They can not stop her? BOB The cops havent got a clue. My roommate Dave says its because shes wearing a mask. See, the cops are looking for an old woman, but if shes wearing a mask she could be anyone. He picks up his cell phone and sits down next to her. BOB He showed me this website. IRENA Is she like Robin Hood?

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No.

BOB (laughs) She shoots anyone who gets in her way.

Irena stares at Bobs phone as he goes to a website boasting Hollywood Quality Masks, and these arent cheap rubber masks either, but silicone -- which looks and behaves like real flesh and muscle. BOB Daves really into this stuff. Bob scrolls down -- searching. Then he finds what hes looking for. He clicks the thumbnail photo. The face of a wizened old woman fills the screen. He hands the phone to Irena. Irena holds the cell phone up, comparing the mask on the website to the surveillance photo of the Granny Bandit on the TV. Theyre identical. IRENA (amazed) It is mask. Bob gets up and goes back into the bathroom. BOB Dave thinks it could even be a guy. Irena stares at the TV, her mind working. INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY Bob and Irena are sitting in a booth. of coffee down in front of them. BOB Why so quiet? Irena smiles sadly at her coffee cup. IRENA Bob, would you do anything for meeven if it was wrong? Her eyes well up and she starts to cry. table and takes her hand. Bob reaches across the The waitress sets two cups

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BOB Whats wrong? IRENA I am in very bad trouble. (beat) I need money. Okay. BOB How much? IRENA Lot of money. (looking at BOB) Thirty thousand dollars. This is a lot more than Bob was expecting. IRENA Please dont ask what is for. (then:) I need operation. Bobs eyes go wide with alarm and worry. BOB Is it serious? Irena nods. Her eyes well up again and she looks down. Hes stunned.

BOB Irena, if I had it Id give it to you in a heartbeat, but. She leans in closer to him. Stares into his eyes. What if you

IRENA You say bank robber wear mask. go to bank wearing same mask?

Bob doesnt know where shes going with this, or maybe he doesnt want to know. BOB You want me to go to a bank wearing the Granny Bandit mask?

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Irena nods.

She strokes his hand. IRENA

And rob. Bob emits a short, quick breath -- part gasp, part chuckle. BOB Irena, if -(lowering his voice) I mean, hypothetically -- if I did this and got caught -IRENA -- you do not get caught. BOB How do you know? IRENA Because you say they can not find bank robber because she wear mask. If you wear same mask they will not think it is you, but Granny Bandit who rob bank. Bob is trying to get his mind around what she is asking him to do. BOB Youre seriously asking me to rob a bank? Irena is silent. Bob contemplates it for a moment.

BOB Isnt there anyone you could? IRENA There is only you. Irena looks back down at her coffee cup. time. Finally Im sorry. She cries softly. Shes silent for a long

IRENA Is too much to ask.

Bob stares at her, his heart breaking. DISSOLVE TO:

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INT. BOBS APARTMENT - DAY The front door is ajar. one here. The Three Dmitrys ENTER and search. BALD DMITRY Were too late. He looks accusingly at Young Dmitry. Young Dmitry ignores him and goes over to the Xbox and picks up the thumbsticks. BALD DMITRY Now what? Older Dmitry doesnt have a clue. Young Dmitry plops down on the couch. A sudden moan beneath him makes him jump. He rockets off the couch and throws the cushions on the floor. Bald Dmitry grabs the handle on the foldaway bed and gives it a heave. The bed unfolds and the three men discover that Dave -- in only his jockey underwear -- has been closed inside of it. DAVE (gasping) Oh, thank God. Oh, thank -Daves eyes go wide when he looks up and sees these three large men standing over him. INT. MERCEDES - DAY Theyre driving through the quintessential American small town -kids on bicycles -- barber shops. Over the radio, Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash are singing, Girl from the North Country. Older Dmitry gazes out the window, lost in nostalgia. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY The Mercedes is parked next to a phone booth. and closes the door behind him. INT. MERCEDES - SAME Young Dmitry watches Older Dmitry. Hes perturbed. Older Dmitry ENTERS No

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YOUNG DMITRY Who the fucks he calling? BALD DMITRY (smiles) Why dont you ask him? YOUNG DMITRY Fuck you, man. Im not talking to him. Motherfuckers crazy. INT. PHONE BOOTH - SAME Older Dmitry slips a quarter into the slot. find ourselves in THE KITCHEN of a modest suburban home. A woman (late-30s) is at the sink doing dishes. The woman is beautiful, with a mane of fiery red hair. In the b.g. a child watches SpongeBob SquarePants. The phone rings. The woman wipes her hands and answers it. BEAUTIFUL WOMAN Hello? BACK IN THE PHONE BOOTH Older Dmitry is moved by the sound of her voice. BEAUTIFUL WOMANS VOICE Hello? Older Dmitry opens his mouth, but is unable to speak. BEAUTIFUL WOMANS VOICE Is anyone there? He cant do it. Hangs up. shaking his head. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY Older Dmitry emerges from the phone booth and gets back in the car. The Mercedes pulls out, kicking up a cloud of dust. DISSOLVE TO: He holds onto the phone for a moment, Dials. Suddenly, we

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EXT. MOTEL - DAY A FedEx guy knocks on the door to Room 12. package. Bob opens the door. INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY The package is on the bed. Bob and Irena are staring at it like its radioactive. As we MOVE IN on the package we can see SPFX Masks on the shipping label. DISSOLVE TO: INT. CHEVELLE - DAY The car is parked in front of a bank. Irena is behind the wheel. Bob is wearing the Granny Bandit mask. A floral dress, orthopedic shoes and nylons complete the disguise. IRENA (nervous) Bob, I change mind. You do not have to do. But Bob is determined. He stares at the entrance. BOB We can do this. (turning to IRENA) Right? We can do this. Irena stares at Bob, her eyes filled with fear and worry. BOB If anything happens, promise me youll drive away. I dont want you going down for this too. Irena cant hold back and kisses him full on his silicone lips. Bob gets out of the car. INT. BANK - DAY Bob gets in line. Two customers ahead of him. He waits. Hes holding a small

INT. CHEVELLE - SAME

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Irena is coming apart at the seams. She throws the car into reverse. Hits the car behind her. She panics. Shifts. The car lunges forward, smacking the car ahead of her. INT. BANK - SAME Bobs next in line. He looks anxiously up at the clock.

TELLER I can take the next customer in line. Bob approaches the teller, a heavy woman with cat glasses. He sets a bag on the counter and passes the woman a note. The teller reads the note and frowns. THE TELLER Seriously? EXT. BANK - DAY Bob emerges from the bank and sees Irena slamming into the car parked behind her. Bob rushes over and gets in the car. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Irena is hysterical. Go! Irena floors it and slams into the car in front of them. BOB You have to back up! She ignores him. Smashes the gas pedal down to the floor. engine revs and the back tires spin and smoke. BOB Irena! Irena bulldozes the car out of the way. and takes off down the street. Bob pulls the mask off. BOB She pulls out of the space The Panicking. BOB

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Red light! Irena slams on the brakes. Bob looks over at her.

BOB Were fine, okay? Just relax. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The Chevelle pulls onto a highway onramp. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY The car is accelerating. BOB Watch your speed. Bob watches the speedometer climbing -- 85...90...95... He looks over at her. Shes frozen in terror, holding the wheel with a white-knuckled death grip. Something catches Bobs eye and he turns back to the road. coming up very quickly on a slow-moving semi. Bob grabs the wheel. the semi by inches. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The Chevelle quickly passes the semi. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bob swerves back in front of the semi and onto the shoulder. He reaches over and shuts the engine off. The car coasts to a gentle stop. Irena is gripping the wheel, her heart racing. BOB (gently) Hey? She turns and collapses into his arms. BOB Youre all right. Youre fine. Theyre

The car swerves into the other lane, missing

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Shes crying like a little girl.

He holds her, stroking her hair.

BOB Dont you know how to drive? IRENA (tearfully) No. Bob looks at her. BOB (taken aback) You dont know how to drive? Irena sniffles. IRENA There has always been man around to drive me. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bob is behind the wheel. Irena is calmer, but still shaken. She watches him drive. Her face softens. Its like shes seeing him for the first time. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY Bob opens the door and leads Irena to the bed. He makes her lie down, then goes to the bathroom. Theres the sound of running water and Bob returns with a cup of water. Bob holds the cup for her while she takes a sip. He sets the cup down, then leans over her. Irena reaches up and pulls his head down and they kiss. Their passion rises and they sit up and quickly remove their clothes. BOB (softly; looking at her thigh-highs) Those too. Irena hesitates.

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BOB I want to make love to you, not Blonde Barbie. She removes her left sock and pulls it off her foot. Then, as she rolls down her right sock over her thigh, Bob sees it was covering a long, ragged scar. Bob stares at the scar, then looks at Irena. She stares at him feeling vulnerable and exposed. He looks gently at her and eases her back onto the mattress. He glides his body on top of hers. She looks up at him, her eyes wanting him. They kiss long and passionately. MOMENTS LATER Bob kisses her neck. Her body tingles. He moves slowly down her body -- kissing her chest -- her breasts -- her stomach. Irena arches her back and moans as a shockwave of pleasure radiates between her loins and passes through her entire body. She grabs hold of the headboard, her chest rising and falling with short little gasps. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY Bob is holding Irena, tracing the scar with his finger. IRENA I was sixteenI fall in love for first time. He was poor. My father did not approve. We have to sneak out very late to be together. I would ride on back of his motorcycle and we would drive to countryside and kiss all night. I was still virgin and wanted to make love with him, but he say, no. Lets wait. Lets marry. She turns her face away from him, fighting back tears. IRENA One night we get in horrible accident. Petya always give me his helmet, and he hit his head and was killed. I hurt my leg very

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badly and spend month in hospital. Doctors say they can remove scar, but I will never remove. She turns back to Bob, staring sadly into his eyes. IRENA Petya lost his life for me. I never forget him. (smiles small) It is love scar. It is all I have left. Bob is silent for a long time. BOB (softly) Why do you cover it? IRENA Rocco, does not like. He say customers want fantasy. They do not want to see imperfection. Scar is like real world intruding on fantasy. Irena smiles sadly. Bob holds her close. her cheek. He kisses it away. A teardrop rolls down SLOW DISSOLVE TO: EXT. LAS VEGAS BOULEVARD - NIGHT A black Mercedes passes a sign welcoming weary travelers to Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. INT. MOTEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT The black Mercedes drives slowly around the parking lot, then heads for the exit and pulls back onto the highway. INT. MERCEDES - NIGHT Young Dmitry is in back. YOUNG DMITRY So, were driving around to every fucking motel until we find their car? Finally

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No response. YOUNG DMITRY Ask him if thats what were doing. BALD DMITRY Im not asking him that. Young Dmitry huffs in frustration. Older Dmitry takes a drag off his cigarette and stares out the window. DISSOLVE TO: INT. SPECIAL AGENT LARKINS OFFICE - NIGHT Larkin is watching surveillance video of Bobs bank robbery. By all outward appearances this robbery, too, is being committed by the Granny Bandit. But Larkin looks troubled. She has the remote in her hand and keeps playing it over and over. Special agent Rodriguez sticks his head into the room. RODRIGUEZ A bunch of us are goin down to Ivasons. Wanna join? Rodriguez notices the TV. RODRIGUEZ This today? LARKIN Somethings not right. Do you see it? Shes too passive.

Rodriquez doesnt. Larkin continues watching. Rodriguez watches Larkin. Theres an obvious attraction. LARKIN And wheres her electrolarynx? She used a note today. Shes never done that. RODRIGUEZ Maybe she forgot it in the car.

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Larkin is unconvinced. LARKIN (turning to RODRIGUEZ) I dont think this is our bandit. Rodriguez stares at Larkin. Finally

RODRIGUEZ Yknow, next to your mask theory, this is probably the last thing Garner wants to hear right now. Larkin turns back to the TV. RODRIGUEZ Well, if you feel like bein social, come down and have a drink with us. Rodriguez leaves Larkin staring at the TV. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Bob is sound asleep. Irena lays awake next to him. at Bob and stares at him, then gets out of bed. INT. MOTEL ROOM - BATHROOM - NIGHT Irena splashes cold water onto her face, then looks at herself hard in the mirror. IRENA (in Ukrainian) Keep it together. She hears Bobs cell phone ring in the next room. INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT Irena opens the door. Bobs on his cell phone. She looks over

BOB No worries. Honest mistake. (hangs up)

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IRENA (startled) Who was that? BOB (yawns) Some guy looking for somebody named Victor. Irena climbs into bed, her face etched in suspicion and fear. EXT. JOEY BISHOP BOULEVARD - LATE NIGHT The streets are deserted. the boulevard. INT. MERCEDES - LATE NIGHT Young Dmitry is asleep in back. Bald Dmitry yawns. Older Dmitry is wide awake and alert. Hes staring out the window -- watching the passing parking lots like a hawk. Over the radio, a late night DJ tells us its 5:00 AM. Theyre passing a motel: Rambling Rose Motor Inn. OLDER DMITRY Stop! Bald Dmitry slams on the brakes. Young Dmitry flies off the seat and smacks his face against Bald Dmitrys headrest. Bald Dmitry follows Older Dmitrys eyes to a black 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle with a vanity plate that reads, ILUVXEN. The two men exchange looks. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - MORNING Bob is leaning over Irena, tickling her cheek with his finger. She opens her eyes and smiles. The two cuddle for a few moments. Finally BOB We should get going. Neither moves. The black Mercedes moves slowly down

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BOB I was thinking, the Hoover Dams only about thirty miles from here. IRENA What is Hoover Dam? BOB Its this really huge dam. It would only take us about an hour out of our way. IRENA We can go see. BOB Is that all right? Is okay. BOB Lets take a quick trip to the Hoover Dam, then well haul ass to LA. Well sit on the beach and watch the sun set. Irena smiles. Bob kisses her and gets out of bed. She waits for the bathroom door to close before slipping out of bed. MOMENTS LATER We hear the sound of the running shower. Irena is dressed. She picks up the bag of money. Stares at the bathroom door, fighting her conscience. Finally, she turns and leaves the room. We hear the door close behind her. INT. MOTEL ROOM - MORNING Bob emerges from the bathroom and finds Irena in bed, crying. Shes now undressed and is just as Bob left her. BOB Whats wrong? She doesnt answer him. He climbs into bed and holds her. She stares into his eyes and lovingly strokes his cheek, then kisses him, her salty tears streaming down her face. I know you want to get to LA.

IRENA

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DISSOLVE TO: EXT. RAMBLING ROSE MOTOR INN - MORNING Bob and Irena emerge from their room and get into Bobs car. EXT. MOTEL PARKING LOT - MORNING Bob turns out of the parking lot and onto the highway. A white Pontiac Bonneville pulls away from the curb and follows. A moment later, the black Mercedes is seen doing the same. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Irena turns and looks anxiously out the back window. white Bonneville and turns back around. She sees the DISSOLVE TO: EXT. HOOVER DAM OBSERVATION DECK - DAY Bob and Irena are at the railing. is troubled and distracted. BOB You want to go? Irena nods. IRENA I have to use rest room. BOB Ill wait here for you. She heads in the direction of the Visitor Center. Bob watches her with concern. He turns back to the dam. A moment, then: A MANS VOICE (OFF CAMERA) (Southern accent) Now thatsa dam! Bob turns toward the voice and sees a tall, muscular man in his mid-forties. The mans face is pockmarked with old acne scars and his hair plugs are showing through his thinning blonde hair. Hes giving Bob a warm, friendly smile. Bob stares out in awe. Irena

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THE SMILING MAN Didja know theres enough concrete in this thing to pave a road fifteen feet wide from San Francisco to New York City? BOB Wow. THE SMILING MAN (moving a little closer to BOB) So, I hope ya dont think Im bein nosey, but I noticed a girl with you -- beautiful girl. Shes one of them runway models, aint she? BOB No, shes not a model. THE SMILING MAN I betcha she could, though. I hope ydont think Im bein creepy, but I was watchin ya just now and I says to myself, Self, now theres a lovely young couple! Yeah, ever since the missus took the eight kids and run off with her minister its just been me, myself, and Irene. Hadda little doggy, named Daffodil, but she got loose one day and got herself runned over. BOB Thats sad. THE SMILING MAN So, you kids from around these parts? BOB No, were heading to Los Angeles. THE SMILING MAN Goin out to Hollywood to be a movie star, aye? BOB (laughs) No. THE SMILING MAN I bet that girl of yours could be in the movies.

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God-damn shes a beauty! I wish I hadda pretty girl like that to pass the time with. It gets awful lonesome travelin the road alone. Listen, if ya arent doin nuthin Id love to buy you two some taquitos. BOB Oh, thats really nice of you, but we have to get going. (turning toward the Visitor Center) I should probably go see -THE SMILING MAN -- well listen, the next time youre online be sure to check out my blog, Lonelytravelerguy.blogspot.com. I will. BOB It was nice talking to you.

THE SMILING MAN The pleasure was all mine. The man watches Bob walking away. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bobs heading for the exit. He sees a man leaning over the engine of his white Bonneville and stops the car. Rolls his window down. BOB Having some trouble? The man turns. Its The Smiling Man. Irena gasps. His smile fades.

Damn rental. Not really.

THE SMILING MAN You know anything about cars? BOB Is there someone you could call?

The smiling man approaches Bobs car. Leans down so his face is in the window. Irena is gaping at him like shes seeing a ghost. THE SMILING MAN I left my rental contract back at the motel. (looking back in the

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direction of the motel) Eh, its only a few miles back. BOB You need a lift? THE SMILING MAN Man, Id sure appreciate it. IRENA Bob, no! BOB (turning to IRENA) Whats wrong? Irena stares fearfully at The Smiling Man. The man looks at her hard and lightly shakes his head. Irena backs down. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Bob is back on the road. The Smiling Man is sitting behind Irena. She reaches up and pulls down her sun visor. THE SMILING MAN Names Harley. BOB Im Bob and this is Irena. THE SMILING MAN Pleasure to meetcha Bob and Irena. How longve you two kids been together, if you dont mind me askin? BOB Just a little while. HARLEY Still at that intense stage of the relationship, huh? Dont know each others dirty little secrets yet. (chuckling) Irena glances up at the mirror on the back of the sun visor. is looking right at her. Harley

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HARLEY God-damn your sweeties a beauty though! Bob turns to Irena and smiles. BOB You okay? HARLEY Ymind if I ask ya a question -- you two bein such a lovely young couple and all? (beat) You fucked her yet? BOB (taken aback) What? HARLEY Oh, Im sorry, that was rude, wasnt it? There ygo, Harley, puttin yer damn foot in yer mouth again. Damnit! BOB Its all right. HARLEY No, it aint all right. manners. Sometimes I lose my Irena looks tense.

The road is becoming desolate and Bob is starting to feel the first qualms of unease. BOB Whered you say your motel was again? HARLEY Its not much further. No one speaks for several moments. Then:

HARLEY Say, Bob, ya wanna pull the car over? Id hate to toss my cookies all over these nice leather seats of yers. Bob pulls to the side of the road.

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BOB Do you want to get out? HARLEY Nah, feelin much better now, thanks. Bob sees a car coming up behind them in the rearview mirror. the white Bonneville. BOB Hey, isnt that? Bob is getting a very bad feeling. Irena is staring at Harley in the mirror. His face darkens. You seem surprised to see me, he says to her in perfect Ukrainian. BOB (looking back at HARLEY) What? Suddenly, Harley, a.k.a. Rocco, punches Bob in the face. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bob drives. The front of his shirt is streaked with blood from a bloody nose. Roccos in the passenger seat. Irenas in back with Mr. Sergei. Up ahead is a roadhouse bar that looks more like a cinderblock bunker. Several dingy trailers are in the yard behind the bar. A faded, weather-beaten sign tells us this place is called The Champagne Ranch. EXT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH - MIDDLE OF NOWHERE - DAY Bob pulls into the parking lot, followed by the white Bonneville. The cars park and everyone gets out. Mr. Sergei and Mr. Hip Hop grab Bob and roughly take him inside. INT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH BAR - DAY Rocco and his boys ENTER with Bob and Irena. Several prostitutes -- way past their prime, are entertaining a few rough-looking biker-types. The proprietress, MADAME OVARY (mid 50s) -- a short, stout woman with jet black hair -- greets them at the door. Rocco kisses her on the lips. Its

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Madame Ovary leads them through the bar and down a narrow hallway. She opens a door and lets them into A LARGE ROOM. THE VIP LOUNGE.

Theres a little bar. A dance floor beneath a small disco globe. A big screen TV and a karaoke machine. Mr. Hip Hop leads Bob and Irena over to two chairs and makes them sit. Rocco peels off a few Franklins and hands them to Madame Ovary. Madame Ovary leaves the room. Mr. Sergei is holding Bob and Irenas bag of money. MR. SERGEI Boss? Rocco looks inside. His eyes go wide.

ROCCO Where did you get this? Bob and Irena dont say a word. ROCCO All right, I come back to this later. First things first. (to IRENA) Who the fucks this guy? IRENA Hes nobody. ROCCO Nobody, huh? (turning to BOB) So, Mr. Nobody, you think you can steal my girl and get away with it? You fucking steal from Rocco and I chase your fucking ass to end of earth to get back what is mine. (turning to IRENA) I treat you like princess and this how you repay me? I should gouge your fucking eyeballs out! (pulling back) Im sorry. Youre just making me so fucking

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crazy, baby, I feel I might kill someone. EXT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH - SAME The wind blows a tumbleweed across the parking lot. Mercedes pulls up out front. INT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH - VIP LOUNGE - SAME Rocco leans down and stares Irena eyeball to eyeball. ROCCO So, I know youre dying to know why I bring you to this place. Is very simple: either you come back with me or I leave you with Madame Ovary, and she pump you so full of drug youd suck on a gimps cock for hit. And youll get so old and worn out and tits will sag so far, youll have to tie around fucking neck like scarf to keep from dragging on floor. Orcome back with Rocco and I forget whole thing. I give you two minutes to decide. (turning to BOB) Now then, Mr. Nobody. You like movies, Mr. Nobody? Boy, do I have movie for you. He goes over and browses a shelf holding dozens of DVDs. ROCCO (pulling it out) Ah, here it is. IRENA Rocco, no! ROCCO I think its time we show Mr. Nobody who you really are. He goes over and slides it into the DVD player. Two people having sex immediately appear on screen. The girl is wearing black thigh highs and screaming, Yes!, Yes! as she rides a large black man like a bucking stallion. Then, the camera tilts up, and we see the girl is Irena. Bob turns to her. Shes crying -- her pleading eyes filled with The black

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shame. ROCCO Okay, so it aint Spielberg, but Im proud of this shot. We had thirty minutes to set up and shoot this fucker. It was also a hundred and twenty fucking degrees in shade. But did she complain? Not a word. What a trooper, huh? What a pro. EXT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH PARKING LOT - DAY From inside the trunk we see Young Dmitry lifting the hood. YOUNG DMITRY (in English) Get out. Then we see who hes talking to: Dave! Dave squints up at the three men. He climbs out of the trunk. Hes still wearing only his jockey underwear. Then he sees Older and Young Dmitry are holding handguns -- Bald Dmitry a sawed-off shotgun -- and fears the worst. DAVE Please, dont shoot me! (sinking to his knees) Im begging you! For the love of God, I wont tell a soul!!! OLDER DMITRY Go. He looks up at Older Dmitry. OLDER DMITRY Get out of here. Dave rises. Then, realizing these men arent going to shoot him, he turns and runs off -- breaking into a full sprint. INT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH - VIP LOUNGE - SAME Rocco is watching Irenas movie. BOB

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Is it true you wear a diaper during sex? Everyone stops what theyre doing and looks over at him. ROCCO (incredulous) What? BOB Irena told me you like to crap in it and have her change you while youre cooing and shaking this little rattle. Ohshe also said you shave your pubes. Mr. Sergei and Mr. Hip Hop exchange shocked looks. out laughing through her tears. Irena bursts

Rocco is sitting there -- a wisp of a smile on his face. ROCCO You are funny guy. You remind me of nother funny guy I knew once. We called him Stubs. You know why we called him that? Because he was funny to wrong people and they cut his fucking thumbs off. You ever try to pick up pint glass of beer with no thumbs? Rocco looks to Mr. Sergei. Mr. Sergei whips out his butterfly knife. Mr. Hip Hop holds Bob down, while Mr. Sergei goes behind him and places the knife against Bobs left thumb. IRENA (defeated) Rocco, stop! I go with you. hurt him.

Please, dont

ROCCO (smiles) Youre making right decision, baby. (to Mr. Sergei, offhandedly) Just cut off one thumb. Suddenly, several girls are heard screaming from the bar. Mr. Hip Hop goes over to investigate. Steps out into the hallway. He looks down the hallway and lifts his shades. A shotgun blast to the chest blows him right out of his Reeboks.

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Mr. Sergei pulls out his handgun and goes to the door. He peers around the doorway. Ducks back as a barrage of bullets pound into the doorframe. Mr. Sergei returns fire. Bob pulls Irena to the floor. cowers behind a chair. Uses his body to cover hers. Rocco

The gun battle rages. Then Mr. Sergei takes a bullet to the forehead. He reaches up and touches his brow. Looks at his hand and sees blood on his fingertips. He looks at the blood curiously for a moment, then slumps over, dead. Rocco grabs the bag of money and Irena. handgun and goes to the door. He picks up Mr. Sergeis

Wait!

ROCCO (calling from the doorway) Stop firing!

The shooting stops. ROCCO Who are you guys? OLDER DMITRYS VOICE Mr. Slopovich? Yeah. ROCCO What do you want?

OLDER DMITRYS VOICE We want the girl. Rocco looks quizzically at Irena. ROCCO Why do you want her? OLDER DMITRYS VOICE Why we want her is not important. What is important is that you do exactly as we say. ROCCO (chuckling nervously) Gentlemen, if I give you girl, you shoot me. I have better idea. You let me get in car and drive away. I drop her off mile down

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highway.

Deal? (no response) Im coming out. INT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH - HALLWAY - DAY Rocco steps out into the hallway holding Irena and the bag of money close. ROCCO Drop em. Hes holding Mr. Sergeis gun to Irenas head. toss their weapons on the floor. The three Dmitrys

ROCCO Were just taking nice little stroll. Rocco hears a floorboard creak behind him. He turns in time to see Bob bringing the karaoke machine down on top of his head. Irena slips from his grasp as he tumbles to the floor. The Three Dmitrys quickly rearm, pulling out handguns from coat pockets and from behind backs. Bob moves toward the bag of money. Freezes. The Three Dmitrys have their weapons trained right on him. Irena tugs on his hand, pulling him toward the exit. Rocco grabs his handgun and fires down the hallway. The Three Dmitrys leap for cover as Bob and Irena duck out the back. EXT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH PARKING LOT - DAY Bobs car whips around 180 degrees and screams out of the lot. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY BOB Who were those guys? IRENA They are associates of my father. BOB (turning to IRENA) Whos your father?

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IRENA Have you ever heard name Yuri Purishkevitch? He is one of biggest businessmen in all of Ukraine, and very powerful man. Powerful. BOB You mean, like a politician?

IRENA Nolike Godfather. Bob turns to Irena and looks at her a little fearfully. BOB Who are you? IRENA I am trouble. Bob, you are nice boy. home and find nice girl. BOB I dont want anyone else. you. Go

Im in love with

IRENA But I am not in love with you! BOB I dont believe that, Irena. have feelings for me. IRENA (confused) I do not know what I feel. supposed to happen. I know you

This was not

BOB (beat) Whos waiting for you in LA? Irena knows theres no point in lying any longer. IRENA Bob, I do not need operation. Money was for my brother. He borrow money from very bad men and if he does not pay back they will

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hurt him, maybe even kill. My brother make mistakes, but he is good person. (breaking down) BOB Why didnt you tell me this from the start? IRENA I was scared if I tell you truth you will not want to help me. Bob is silent, thinking about all Irena has just revealed. CUT TO: THREE PAIRS OF SHOES clomping loudly across a dance floor -Russian paratrooper boots, black calfskin Tanino Crisci loafers, and cowboy boots. THE CAMERA TILTS UP The Three Dmitrys stop walking and reload their weapons, dropping spent clips on the floor. Rocco is crawling across the floor. Hes been shot several times. He rolls over and looks up at the three men in terror. Older Dmitry stares at Irenas porno, then turns to Rocco -- his face filled with fury. He looks to Young Dmitry. The young man pulls out a fourteen inch chefs knife. He moves toward Rocco and steps out of FRAME. Rocco screams. EXT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH PARKING LOT - DAY The Three Dmitrys are walking to their car. Young Dmitry is carrying a trash bag, and we know theres a head in it because we can see the unmistakable impression of face against the plastic. He opens the trunk and tosses it in. EXT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH PARKING LOT - DAY The Mercedes approaches the edge of the highway. INT. MERCEDES - DAY BALD DMITRY Which way? Stops.

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OLDER DMITRY Vegas. EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY The Mercedes pulls onto the highway, heading for Las Vegas. INT. MERCEDES - DRIVING - DAY Bald Dmitry floors it. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The Mercedes is doing at least 120 miles/hour. INT. MERCEDES - DRIVING - DAY Were BEHIND BALD DMITRYS SHOULDER -- watching as he weaves between cars like an Indy car driver. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Bob watches the road, deep in thought. INT. MERCEDES - DAY The Three Dmitrys drive in silence, their eyes searching the highway. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The Mercedes races down the highway. Barren desert stretches out before them for as far as the eye can see. INT. MERCEDES - DRIVING - DAY OLDER DMITRY There. His two compatriots see the Chevelle now too. amazed. Theyre a little

YOUNG DMITRY How did you know they were heading to Vegas? No response. Bald Dmitry looks back at Young Dmitry. Shrugs.

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EXT.

HIGHWAY - OUTSKIRTS OF LAS VEGAS - DAY

The Mercedes follows the Chevelle. Out in the desert, The Stratosphere Tower and the hotels along The Strip rise like the Emerald City through the haze. EXT. LAS VEGAS BOULEVARD - DAY The Chevelle drives past the sign welcoming travelers to Fabulous Las Vegas Nevada. EXT. CITY STREETS - DAY The Mercedes follows the Chevelle through downtown Las Vegas. EXT. FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF LAS VEGAS - DAY The Chevelle parks in front. several cars behind. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bob reaches into the backseat, grabs the duffel bag. IRENA What are you doing? He pulls out the dress and the mask. BOB I promised Id help you. IRENA But I dont need operation. He looks at her. Smiles reassuringly. In and out. The Mercedes slips into a space

BOB It will be all right. INT. MERCEDES - DAY

The three men reach for their door handles. Just then, Bob, now dressed as the Granny Bandit, gets out of the car. Only the masquerade is so convincing, they dont realize its Bob.

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OLDER DMITRY Whered the old woman come from? He turns to Bald Dmitry. Both men are baffled.

BALD DMITRY He must have picked her up. OLDER DMITRY When? Bald Dmitry stares at him. He doesnt have an answer.

YOUNG DMITRY This is fucked up. OLDER DMITRY Is Romeo in the car? BALD DMITRY (squinting, then:) No, theres only one person in the car. OLDER DMITRY (opening his door) Dont do a fucking thing until I come back. INT. FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF LAS VEGAS - DAY Older Dmitry ENTERS. He goes over and writes a deposit slip -his eyes never leaving the old woman. Bob is at the counter. Nothing appears amiss. Customers make their transactions. The only two people who know the bank is being robbed are Bob and Bobs teller. Until: THE NEXT TELLER OVER Suzanne, can you help me with this? Then the teller notices her coworkers stricken face as she shoves money into a plastic bag. She sees the old woman on the other side of the counter and lets out a gasp. Customers and bank employees turn. Their eyes go to the old woman. Bandit! A customer screams. Someone mutters, Its the Granny

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Bob realizes hes losing control, grabs the bag. the exit -- watching the customers. Older Dmitry watches the old woman.

He backs toward

Then confusion, because

OLDER DMITRYS POV: One of Bobs rolled up pant legs is creeping down below the dress. And suddenly Older Dmitry realizes this is not an old woman, but Bob wearing an elaborate disguise. He smiles, impressed. Bob backs through the entrance. Then he turns and runs into a customer ENTERING through the same door. Its an old woman. Bob and the old woman stare at each other in bewilderment. The old womans face is identical to Bobs mask. Then: Bob realizes her face is not flesh, but silicone. It hits him like a heart attack: Jesus Christ! The real Granny Bandit! Bob brushes past her and flees out the exit. Bandit watches, flabbergasted. EXT. FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF LAS VEGAS - DAY Bob gets back in the car and peels away. Suddenly, a green 94 Mitsubishi Galant races up to the curb. Granny Bandit hops in and the car speeds away. The The real Granny

Older Dmitry bursts from the entrance. The Mercedes screams up to the curb. Older Dmitry gets in and the car takes off in hot pursuit. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Bob looks up at the rearview mirror. IRENA (alarmed) What? BOB (turning to Irena) Were fine. Irena stares at him with uncertainty.

Nothing. He forces a smile.

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EXT. ROAD - DAY The Chevelle stops at a red light. INT. CHEVELLE - DAY Bob pulls the mask off and shoves it in the duffel bag. You hungry? BOB Maybe we should grab a -Bob and Irena are thrown

Suddenly, the car is rear-ended hard. forward.

BOB (stunned, to IRENA) You all right? Before she can respond, her door flies open and shes grabbed by the Granny Bandits burly driver. Bob tries to intervene, but comes face-to-face with the Granny Bandits .50 cal. GRANNY BANDIT Move and youre dead. The Bandits driver shoves Irena into the back seat and climbs in back with her. The Granny Bandit takes the passenger seat. GRANNY BANDIT What the fuck you waitin for? BOB The light. GRANNY BANDIT Fuck the light! Bob drives. Her voice is deep and husky and Bob is still unsure if its a man or a woman under the mask. Until: She pulls the mask off. Shes a blonde woman in her fifties. Although the years have chipped away at her beauty, its easy to imagine that in her day she was one hell of a knockout. She turns and looks at Irena in the back seat.

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GRANNY BANDIT Well, hello there, sunshine. Arent you pretty? Names Phyllis, but most people call me Mertzy. The big handsome fella in back is my boy, Ned. Most people just call him Ned. (to BOB) Whats your name? No response. Mertz slaps him hard across the face.

GRANNY BANDIT Ygotta problem answering questions? BOB Bob. MERTZ Bob what? Bob can only stare at her, petrified. MERTZ Just plain Bob, then? So, Just Plain Bob, you thought you could hitch your wagon to my gravy train? Bob has lost the ability to understand the English language. BOB What? MERTZ How come I have to ask every question twice? You were tryin to pass yourself off as me. BOB No. She grabs Bobs duffel bag. Pulls out the mask.

MERTZ Then whats this? (to NED) Didnt I always tell ya, some dumbshit, numbnut motherfucker would try to copycat us? (back to BOB)

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Or maybe you just like dressin up in womans clothes. Is that it, Just Plain Bob, you like dressin up like a girlie? BOB No. MERTZ Bullshit, yfuckin fairy! Take the money. BOB Just let us go.

MERTZ Oh, dont worry, were takin the money, but dont think you can buy your way out of this here pickle. INT. CHAMPAGNE RANCH - VIP LOUNGE - DAY Lead homicide detective, CUMMINGS, is taking agent Garner and Special Agent Larkin over to where a crime scene photographer is snapping pictures. Garner winces. ON ROCCO And now we see why. Rocco is lying on the floor, stone, cold dead. But more disturbing: his head is gone. GARNER Whos the headless whoreman? CUMMINGS Some lowlife pimp. He hands Garner Roccos license. Slopovich. GARNER Ruski?

CUMMINGS We think hes Ukrainian. GARNER Where the fucks his head? CUMMINGS

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(shrugs) Beats the fuck outa me. The two men stare at the corpse. GARNER So, whats this piece of shit have to do with us? Cummings nods at a stack of money on the coffee table. CUMMINGS Ysee those bills? We traced them to that savings and loan heist yesterday afternoon. Garners face flinches. INT. GARNER AND LARKINS CAR - DRIVING - DAY Garner drives. He looks troubled. Finally

GARNER You dont think Slopovich is the Bandit? LARKIN No, I dont. Hes at least five inches taller than the suspect on surveillance video. GARNER Not anymore he isnt. (sighs) So, tell me how this scumbag fits into the puzzle? Garner drives. Mulls it over for a moment or two.

GARNER When we get back, why dont you show me what youve got. Larkin smiles to herself. rings. She answers it. Finally, vindication. Her cell phone

LARKIN (into the phone) Larkin. (pause, surprised)

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Oh, really? (pause) No kidding. (pause) No, dont do anything. fifteen minutes. She hangs up and turns to Garner.

Well be there in

LARKIN The First National Bank of Las Vegas was held up ten minutes ago by an old woman. Garner pushes the gas pedal to the floor. GARNER At least we know one thing. Larkin turns to Garner. GARNER Slopovich didnt do it. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Mertz pulls off her dowdy Granny Bandit dress. skintight red lycra dress underneath it. Shes wearing a

MERTZ (laughing) All the banks in Vegas and you pick the one Im about to heist. I mean, how fuckin unlucky do ya gotta be? How unlucky hes gotta be, Ned? NED (texting on his cell phone) Pretty fuckin unlucky. She reaches in her handbag and pulls out a pair of red pumps. MERTZ (slipping into the shoes) Do you know what a doppelganger is, Bob? And if ya answer with another one of your stupid, fuckin one-word answers Im gonna shoot you in the kneecap.

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BOB (beat, nervous) Its an evil twin. Shes putting on red lipstick, looking at herself in the mirror on the back of the visor. MERTZ Did you know that in some cultures seeing your doppelganger is a harbinger of death? She turns to him. Her eyes narrow.

MERTZ Are you lookin at my tits? IRENA You touch me, I scratch your eyes out! MERTZ (shouting) Ned, behave yourself! Ned blushes. MERTZ So, I come home the other day and hes decided to shave all his hair off! Hes not half-bad lookin with hair, and maybe if he lost a few tons. All he does is eat and sit on his ass playin video games all day long. Mertz is looking at something in the side view mirror. MERTZ Say Ned, ysee the black Mercedes behind us? Irena reacts, hearing a black Mercedes is behind them. around and looks out the rear window. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The Chevelle increases speed. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY The Mercedes follows. Ned turns

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Mertz grabs the wheel. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Cranks it sharply to the left.

The Chevelle swerves, going across the right front fender of the van in the next lane. INT. VAN - DRIVING - DAY The driver reacts. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The van serves. the highway. Goes up on two wheels and flips over, blocking

INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Mertz is looking at the accident. Turns back around.

MERTZ What were we talkin about? (no response) What were we talkin about, Bobby? Oh, yeah, my tits. (feeling her breasts) Im proud of these, boys. Just as perky and gravity defying as they were the day I turned nineteen. Go ahead and touch em? Bob grips the wheel. Cmon, Copycat. MERTZ I know you want to.

She reaches over and takes his hand and places it on her breast. MERTZ Youre thinkin I look like that famous actress, Cameron Diaz, arent you? I get mistaken for her all the time. We have the same nose. She shows Bob her profile. MERTZ Squeeze a little. Its not gonna break.

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She massages her breast with Bobs hand. aroused. MERTZ (breathy) Do you think Im hot, Copycat?

Shes getting a little

BOB (uncomfortable) Yes, youre very hot. You dont look your age at all. Mertzs face darkens. She lets go of Bobs hand.

MERTZ (turning to BOB) Dont look my age? Who the fuck said anything about age? Did I ever tell you my fuckin age? BOB No maam. MERTZ Then what the fuck are you talkin about? You dont know my fuckin age. And why are you callin me maam? You call old ladies maam. Do I look like an old lady to you? BOB (nervous) No, muh --- no what? again? MERTZ Were you about to call me maam

BOB (desperate) No. MERTZ (darkly) You ever think about dyin, Bobby -- wakin up and thinkin this day could be your last? BOB

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Not really. Not really? MERTZ Whats that mean?

BOB Ive never really thought about it. MERTZ You dont think about much, do ya, Bobby? Mertz follows Bobs eyes. Hes looking at her .50 cal.

MERTZ Now, youre not gonna do somethin stupid and try and be a hero now, are ya? Bob realizes shes watching him. BOB No. She sighs and picks up the gun and points it at his right eyeball. Cocks the hammer back. MERTZ Bobby, youre giving those fuckin one word --- no. BOB No, I wont be a hero. Grabs the wheel.

She shoves the gun back in the bag. MERTZ Turn here. EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

Bobs car pulls sharply off the highway -- jumping the curve. INT. MINI MART - DAY Through the window we see the Chevelle coming to a screeching stop. All four pile out. An American Indian (about 50) -- wearing a leather biker vest -- stands behind the counter. Mertz ENTERS first, followed by Bob and Irena. Ned takes up the rear. Mertz approaches the counter, smiling, then whips out her handgun --

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pointing it between the Indians eyes. INDIAN (cowering, raising his hands) Aw, fuck. MERTZ Cmon, Geronimo. Out from behind the counter. The Indian steps out. Mertz nods at a door toward the back.

MERTZ Whats in there? INDIAN Stock. MERTZ Wouldja mind goin with Ned into that back room? The Indian doesnt budge. to the back room. Ned pulls out his gun and takes the man

MERTZ (to BOB and IRENA) Hey, lovebirds. You two come with me. Bob and Irena exchange worried looks. the coolers. MERTZ Name your poison? Bob and Irena stare at her. MERTZ What beer you drinkin? BOB I dont really feel like -MERTZ -- Bobby, yeither party with us or Im gonna shoot your worthless ass right here in this store. Whats it gonna be? Mertz takes them over to

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Bob points at a six pack of PBR. Mertz opens the cooler door and reaches in and grabs it and hands it to him. MERTZ What about you, SweePea? Im sorry, darlin. I just realized I didnt catch your name. BOB Her names -MERTZ -- am I fuckin askin you? (turning back to IRENA, sweetly) Whats your name, sweetheart? Its okay. IRENA Irena. MERTZ (smiles) Why thats a beautiful name. IRENA I drink what Bob is drinking. Bob and Irena hear a SINGLE GUNSHOT from the back room and nearly jump out of their skin. Mertz doesnt react at all. MERTZ You two boyfriend and girlfriend? Bob nods. Irena looks like shes about to faint. MERTZ Young love. Thats the best, aint it? Me and my old man useta be young and in love like yourselves, but my Horace had a taste for whiskey, and after a few nips hed turn mean. Most nights hed plop down right on top of me and have his way with me. Havin someone force themselves on you like that every night, you learn to retreat back somewhere deep in inside your brainand ya just ride it out. Like when I was a little girl and the tornado sirens would wail and Daddyd take us all down into the root cellar. Only a few feet over our heads the storm would

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be ragin like hellfury, but I always felt safe down there with daddy. Ned emerges from the back room. MERTZ I got the last laugh, though, didnt I, Ned? NED What? MERTZ With your daddy. NED Yup. MERTZ Well, tell em what I did. NED She poured a can of gasoline on him while he slept and set him on fire. And Mertzs eyes go a little crazy and we can see flames reflected in her pupils. MERTZ I learned right then that killin Horace was no different from settin a baby bird free. It was the kindest thing I couldve done for him. And then were INSIDE BOBS POCKET We see his finger hit the numbers 911 on his cell phone. INT. 9-1-1 EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS CENTER - DAY DISPATCHER 911 emergency? INT. MERCEDES - DRIVING - DAY The Three Dmitrys search for the Chevelle -- the air thick with tension.

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EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY The Mercedes drives right past the mini mart and Bobs car. INT. MINI MART - DAY Ned is cleaning out the register. MERTZ (to BOB) What are you doin, playin with yourself? Bob takes his hand out of his pocket. MERTZ (to NED) Grab me a pack of Salems wouldja. want anything? Bob and Irena shake their heads. MERTZ Oh, chips. Grab a bag of tortilla chips, wouldja, sweetheart. And a jar of salsa. INT. 9-1-1 EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS CENTER - DAY The dispatcher listens to Mertzs muffled conversation. EXT. MINI MART - PARKING LOT - DAY The four are walking to Bobs car. of beer into Ned. BOB (to IRENA) Run! Irena takes off running. Ned and Mertz watch her. for the field in back of the mini mart. Shes heading Suddenly, Bob shoves his armful

You two

MERTZ (after a moment) Well, I suppose you oughta go fetch her. Ned takes off after her.

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MERTZ (watching IRENA, to BOB) That girls only gonna break your heart. (chuckles) Copycat, you and me are exactly alike. Here I have over 300,000 dollars in gambling debts, half the law enforcement agency of Nevada after me, both the wops and the Mexicans threatening to cut my heart out and bury me in a hole in the desert, and you know what Im gonna do as soon as Im done with you two? Im marchin right back to the casino. INSERT MERTZ AT THE TEXAS HOLD EM TABLE She screams ecstatically as she slides thousands of dollars in chips into the pot. BACK TO BOB AND MERTZ MERTZ I cant stop. I mean, I cant stop. Its got a grip on me Im never breakin free of. Same with you and this girl. I bet your heads telling you, Watch out. Youre playing with fire with a girl like that. But youre in love, arentcha? And love dont give a fuck. The heart wants what it wants and theres no reasoning with it, even though you know its gonna make ya crazy in the end. EXT. FIELD - DAY Ned catches up with Irena climbing over a barbed wire fence. screams as Ned grabs her. INT. 9-1-1 EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS CENTER - DAY The dispatchers supervisor comes over. SUPERVISOR Whaddaya got? DISPATCHER Not sure. Irena

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She takes her headphones off and hands them to her supervisor. supervisor puts them on. Listens. INT. GARNER AND LARKINS CAR - DRIVING - DAY Larkin hangs up her cell phone. Turns to Garner. Might be a

Her

LARKIN 911s monitoring a call. carjacking. GARNER Is it our bandit? LARKIN They dont know yet. EXT. MINI MART PARKING LOT - DAY

Ned sets Irena down and shoves her into the back seat and gets in with her. Mertz gets back in the front. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Bob pulls back onto the highway. MERTZ Woo-hoo! Lets get this party hoppin! What kinda music ylike, Bobby? Mertz reaches over and turns on the radio. BOB AnythingI guess. MERTZ Thats no answer. Cmon, Copycat, share with us. Its always more fun that way. Rock. BOB I listen to rock. Metal. Horror punk.

Tough shit.

MERTZ Were listenin to this.

Mertz turns up the volume. Its Audrey Williams singing Girls With Broken Hearts. Mertz listens.

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AUDREY WILLIAMS Life sometimes can be so cruel That a heart will pray for death. God, why must these living dead Know pain with every breath? So, help your sister along the road No matter where you start. For the God that made you Made them too, These girls with broken hearts. INT. MERCEDES - DRIVING - DAY Older Dmitry looks anxious. Turn around. Bald Dmitry does as hes told and turns the car around. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Mertz stares at the highway, her mood now melancholy. MERTZ Youve probably done everything right your entire life, and here Ive lied and cheated and murdered for as long as I can remember. Ive thought about it a lot, and the only thing I can figure is that God must want me and Ned to keep doin what were doin. Ysee, Bobby, everythings in balance, just like a rubber band. You pull it one way and it snaps back in the other direction, and you cant have pure good without there bein pure evil. The world needs folks like Ned and me, if only to show that theres still goodness in the world. She takes out her pack of Salems. BOB No thanks. MERTZ Live a little. One thing I can goddamn-wellguarantee is you wont be dyin from lung Offers one to Bob. He fears theyve lost them.

OLDER DMITRY

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cancer. IRENA (petrified) What are you going to do with us? MERTZ (turning around, looking at IRENA) Sweetheart, you knew what we were gonna do the moment I took this here mask off and told you our names. Irena starts to cry. BOB Mrs. Mertz? MERTZ Mrs. Mertz was my husbands mothers name. BOB Phyllis, Phyllis, right? Please, let her go. Whatever youre gonna do, do it to me. MERTZ (laughing) Bobby, now ya know we cant do that. In my line of work people you had no intention of killin get in the way all the time. You gotta shoot em. The papers call em innocent victims, but there aint anything innocent about em. Everyones guilty of somethin, and when your numbers up, your numbers up. BACK INSIDE BOBS POCKET Bobs cell phone goes dead. INT. GARNER AND LARKINS CAR - DRIVING - DAY Larkin is on her cell phone. She turns to Garner, concerned.

LARKIN They lost the connection. GARNER

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Well, tell them to call them back. LARKIN What if the ringers on? Garner ponders this. Looks over at Larkin.

INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Mertz gazes contemplatively out the window. Looks down and sees Bobs pocket vibrating. Her face goes hard. INT. MERCEDES - DRIVING - DAY Older Dmitry stares tensely out the window. Suddenly, the Chevelle passes them in the oncoming lane. Bald Dmitry sees it and cranks the wheel. EXT. HIGHWAY - SAME The Mercedes does a 180 and takes off in hot pursuit. INT. CHEVELLE - DRIVING - DAY Mertz pulls Bobs cell phone from his pocket. dispatcher is calling him back. Sees the 911

MERTZ You stupid motherfucker. Didnt you promise me you werent gonna be a hero? Didnt you just promise me that? She picks up her .50 cal. MERTZ (darkly) Partys over. Bob looks over and sees her pointing her gun at him. He instinctively bats it away. Mertz loses her grip as she accidentally squeezes off two shots in rapid succession. The first round passes harmlessly through the windshield -- the force of the recoil pivoting the barrel up and striking her on the chin. The second round blows her nose clean off -- smashing a hole through the roof as big as an open fist.

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NED Mama! Mertz is stunned. She looks down and sees blood pouring onto her lap. She pulls down the sun visor and looks at herself in the mirror. Her nose is fucking gone. MERTZ (with horror and disbelief) My nose! She turns to Bob, her face a mask of fury and rage, and shoves the barrel against Bobs temple. Bob cowers. Shes about to put a bullet through his brain, then changes her mind. MERTZ You just killed your girlfriend, Copycat. Mertz turns to the back seat. Irena screams. Suddenly:

Bob sees triangular warning signs and a broken-down flatbed truck up ahead in the road. He has a split-second to react. He swerves toward the back of the trailer. Mertz turns back to the road. Her eyes pop out in horror. The flatbed is coming right at her.

Impact! Shattering glass and crunching metal. The flatbed slices through the passenger side of the car at neck level. Mertz and Ned are instantly decapitated. The car careens -- tires screaming on like a top -- out of control -- around the car as it spins off the highway. ejected. Cartwheels through space. rest. Dust settles. And this is where our story began. Cars are stopping. People are getting out and scrambling to pick up the money scattering in the wind. The Mercedes pulls up to the scene. Older Dmitry and Bald Dmitry get out. Walk calmly to the demolished Chevelle. They pull Irena from the back seat. asphalt -- the car spinning and around. Dust engulfing Doors flying open. Bob is Finally, the car comes to

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Bobby!

IRENA (screaming) Bobby!

Bob hears Irenas voice and sits up. Hes dazed. Bleeding. He sees Irena being shoved into the back of the Mercedes. Young Dmitry climbs in with her. Bald Dmitry and Older Dmitry take the front, and the car speeds away. Bob falls back, and tumbles into unconsciousness. CUT TO: A BLACK SCREEN LARKINS VOICE Bob? FADE IN: INT. BOBS HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY Bobs eyes flutter. Hes lying in a hospital bed. He looks up and finds FBI Special Agent Larkin standing over him. LARKIN Im Special Agent Larkin, FBI. The Docs tell me youre gonna be all right. You were banged up, but nothing too serious. Ymind if I ask you a few questions? Bob doesnt respond. Larkin pulls up a chair and sits down.

LARKIN (opening her notepad) So, this all looks pretty open and shut. We have witnesses willing to testify that it was Mertz who committed the robbery, and the banks surveillance tape confirms this. We also have witnesses, including the banks security guard, who reported seeing a green Mitsubishi Galant with an individual wearing what appeared to be an old woman mask leaving the scene. Also, a search of Mertzs hideout produced a veritable treasure-trove of incriminating information -- money -- maps -plans. The whole enchilada. This character

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Mertz was a real bad apple. Her Triple-I could fill a public library. Larkin closes her notepad and slips it into her coat pocket. Case closed. LARKIN Ding, dong the Bandits dead. Beat.

She looks at Bob and smiles.

LARKIN Cept, theres one thing still bothering me, Bob. (beat) Two masks were found at the accident scene. Bob stares at her with deer-caught-in-the-headlight eyes. LARKIN Of course, I have my own theories, but nobodys interested in those. They have their guy -sorry -- gal, and you were just some poor schmuck in the wrong place at the wrong time right? Youre a big hero. Its in all the papers. (standing) All in all, Id say things worked out pretty well for you. Larkin stares at him for a moment. wide, trapped eyes. Bob stares back with those

Larkin hands Bob an orange card. Bob turns it over. Its from the board game Monopoly -- a Get out of jail free card. Larkin stops at the door. Turns back to him.

LARKIN Can you just answer one question -- strictly for my own curiosity? (beat) Who was the girl? Bob stares at her, the lump hardening like a walnut in his throat. BOB She was my heart.

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Larkin smiles sadly.

Poor bastard. DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. DESOLATE ROAD - EARLY MORNING The Mercedes is parked at a crossroads. The fog hangs low. Dmitry and Young Dmitry are walking into a field. YOUNG DMITRY So, with these documents Ill be able to travel again? BALD DMITRY Thats what the man said. The two men stop walking. Young Dmitry looks around at the bleak landscape, his breath visible in the chilly morning air. YOUNG DMITRY Youre sure he wanted to meet here? BALD DMITRY Thats what he said. Bald Dmitry offers Young Dmitry a cigarette. YOUNG DMITRY Thanks. Bald Dmitry takes one for himself. then the young mans. He lights his cigarette first, Bald

YOUNG DMITRY (shivers) Where the fuck is this guy, man? BALD DMITRY Hell be here. The two men smoke their cigarettes. the field. Young Dmitry looks off across

YOUNG DMITRY Sick of this fucking country. I miss my fucking snake.

I miss Kiev.

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While Young Dmitry talks, we FOCUS ON Bald Dmitry slipping his hand under his coat and coming out with his Glock. BACK AT THE CROSSROADS A single gunshot reverberates, then silence. A moment passes, and a man is seen coming out of the fog. Its Bald Dmitry. He gets in the car and pulls back onto the road. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM - MORNING Older Dmitry is sitting in a chair, reading his book. curled up on the bed. IRENA Misha, dont do this. Older Dmitry looks up. Irena is awake and staring at him. Irena is

OLDER DMITRY Dont worry about Nicolai. One day hell get himself into some real trouble that daddy wont be able to pluck him out of. IRENA Im not talking about Nicolai. about Bob. Older Dmitry turns back to his book. OLDER DMITRY Hes not from our world, Irena. penguin. Youre a gazelle. IRENA At least let me make that choice. a mistake, then its my mistake. Hes a Im talking

If its

OLDER DMITRY He has no money. What kind of future would you have? IRENA I dont want money. I want a normal life. I

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want a man who will surprise me with flowers, or write me a sappy love note, not because its an anniversary, but just because. A man who is not afraid to tell the world how much he loves me. A man who will take me to dinner and look only at my eyes and make me feel like Im the only woman on earth. (beat, softly) Hes already risked everything for me, Misha, and he would do it again in a heartbeat. Older Dmitry is staring at his book, but hes heard every word. Although he betrays nothing, hes genuinely moved. Finally, he looks up. He falls into her green eyes. OLDER DMITRY Do you love him? EXT. BOBS APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT A taxi pulls up in front of Bobs apartment building. INT. BOBS APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Bob sits alone in the darkened room. The cuts on his face have healed some since we last saw him. He stares at the blank TV screen. Loud, thumping music is coming through the wall from a party next door. Theres a knock on the door. Bob looks over. He contemplates not answering it. Finally, he rises stiffly from the couch. He opens the door. CLOSE ON BOBS FACE He is moved to his core, his eyes welling with amazement and profound joy, because CUT TO BLACK:

End.

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