BECOMING

give us undivided hearts ..................

Q1/2013

EDITORS LETTER

Happy 2013!
I love the New Year fresh starts, blank calendars, a renewed sense of motivation. We need it after what is usually a wonderful but taxing Christmas season! To be honest, though, I have to say that the last couple months of 2012 left me with a heavy heart. Sometimes I watch the news at night and catch myself saying, "What is wrong with people?!" It's a rhetorical question, of course. I know exactly what's wrong with people. They are desperately trying to ll a spiritual void with worldly things. Many of us fail to recognize that the human heart, void of the Spirit of God, values itself above all else, and the result is a world full of people each devoted to doing what is best in their own eyes- often with catastrophic results. It is fascinating that in a world as diverse as ours, every single one of us has the same problem needing the same solution. From the ruthless, murderous tyrant to the humble, suffering missionary, we are all plagued with sin and equally in need of God's unmerited mercy. We are truly lost until it nds us. We see this lostness played out everyday. We are grieved and angered by the evil happenings in the world, and rightly so! But, in a sense, we cannot be completely stunned by them. Lost people walk along lost paths. Not all are murderers, but they are lost just the same and are searching for the peace that only God can give. As Christians, our lives should be consumed with a passionate zeal to bring the High and Holy name of God to the world. Funny thing is, we can't be a true light to the outside world until our inner worlds are aligned- even more than that!- immersed in Christ. So much of our lives we are trying to do the right thing and be the right kind of person. But, at some point, we must come to the realization that our goodness does not depend on how hard we try to be good, but how closely we walk with the Father. This is why Jesus told us to "seek rst His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you". He knew what we must eventually to buy into: that all the things we want- the fruitful life, the soul's rest, the servant's heart- all are added after we pursue God rst. They are the result of consistently being in his Presence, not of our human efforts. (contintued...)

BECOMING MAGAZINE Q1 2013

EDITORS LETTER
And so, knowing this, I believe that our deepest cry must be this: that our hearts, the ones that are so tempted to soak up earthly pleasure and guard our precious reputations and avoid uncomfortable sacrice- our hearts must relentlessly abandon themselves to one cause alone- the pursuit of God. This year, if you want to be the best person, the best mother, the best wife, the best friend, the best light you can be, there is but one thing for you to do. Seek God with an undivided heart- the one He will give you as you seek His kingdom and His righteousness rst. What specic transformation is God calling for in your life right now? There is something, I promise. Contrary to cultural "wisdom", you are not ok just the way you are. Yes, God met you in your sinful state and loved you and saved you just as you were, but He does not expect that you stay there! God "saved us and called us to a holy life" (2 Timothy 1:9). After salvation, all of Christian life is to be moving towards Christ-like holiness. As 2013 begins, we ought to focus on putting aside half-hearted devotion and insisting that God change us from the inside out. How will you seek Him with an undivided heart? My personal answer to this question is in the following pages along with a few godly friends who agreed to honestly share where God is calling for change in their lives this year. These are written anonymously, as the intent is not to glorify these women for their pursuit of God, but to challenge us all to search deeply for the voice of God calling each of us to be transformed in a mighty way. May the Lord bless you this year as you seek Him with your whole heart. Always BECOMING, Shannon

Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11 I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19

BECOMING MAGAZINE Q1 2013

UNDIVIDED HEARTS 2013

Striving for transformation in real, everyday life...

All articles in this issue are published anonymously.

BECOMING MAGAZINE Q1 2013

BECOMING a WOMAN of INTEGRITY

God is calling me to grow in integrity. This call began in the fall of 2012 when I had a falling out with a close friend of mine. My friend is not a believer. Throughout the course of our friendship, I fought an internal battle between two sides of myself: my deeply rooted "peoplepleaser" nature against the woman of integrity that God was calling me to be. I have always struggled with desiring the approval of others and wanting desperately to be liked. Rather than speak truth into this friend's life, I would frequently "say what her itching ears wanted to hear" (2 Timothy 4:3) to avoid conict. I failed to give her honest, Godly advice when she'd share the struggles in her marriage. I wouldn't tell her when she was hurting me with the things she would say and do. As I began to let God change me into the woman He desired me to be, the friendship grew more strained and, eventually, came to an end. As sad as that process was, it was very valuable- one of those times in my life that God has pruned me most.I was convicted in a mighty way: God desires for me to be a Godly woman of integrity. One who seeks to be sanctied daily, one who models Christ in ALL realms of her life at home, at church, at work, and in all her relationships. God continues to work - changing me from a conict-avoiding, people-pleaser to someone of a conviction, honesty, & truthfulness. The Webster dictionary denes integrity as: "rm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values, the quality or state of being complete or undivided." That is what God desires of me- devotion to the code of values outlined in His word. In reading Scripture, I've found God has plenty to say on the subject of integrity. "I know, my God,
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that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity" (1 Chr 29:17). "Because of my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever" (Ps 41:12). "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely" (Prov 10:9). And Jesus is referred to as "a man of integrity" in Matthew 22:16 and Mark 12:14. If I am called to become like Christ, as Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, then I, too, am to be a woman of integrity. God has impressed on me that to be what He wants me to be, I must start with three main things. 1) Lots of prayer. I pray God will align my will with His, that He will give me wisdom to discern His will for me, that He will give me the courage and strength to be the woman He's called me to be, and most importantly, that all I do will be for His glory and His alone! 2) I need to be in His word - daily. Not reading solely for head knowledge, but to study it, slowly and quietly, listening for Him to speak to me through His Holy, living word. 3) I need to submit - in every way. At times I have FOUGHT this change because it was painful and hard. It has served me well in many ways to be a people pleaser. It's pushed me forward in my career and made me many friends, but that is not what God desires from me. "Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4). Make no mistake, I'm not saying it's wrong to be a peace-keeper, to be gentle, or to be kind to those in the world, but I was doing it at the EXPENSE of my integrity. Although this change has been a painful one, I look back on the beginnings of my transformation, and I am full of gratitude for what God has done and continues to do in me. It is only through God in me that I can do anything good. I pray that for the rest of my life, I will be fully His, and glorify Him alone.

SPIRITUAL BATTLES with SPIRITUAL WEAPONS

I want to be perfectly candid with the readers of this magazine. I am angrylivid, in fact. I am writing this on the Monday following the unspeakable tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, where 20 innocent children and 8 adult lives were stolen away forever. And the compounding effect on each family member, friend and person who knew each victim is devastatingthose survived will never again be the people they were that last morning they sent their precious children off to a regular school day. And I am so, so angry about it. Let me be very clearmy anger is NOT toward God. I rmly believe and have faith that somehow many will turn to Him and know eternal life because this happened. But I am fueled by an intense, raging re inside me at humanityat the pure evil that exists in this world. WE ARE AT WAR, Christians. We need to WAKE UP, take this war and the wages that are at stake seriously, put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:11-18) each and every day, and FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT (2 Timothy 4:7)in our marriages, with our children, in our churches, and with every single person we befriend, come in contact with, and see in need surrounding us. SOMEONE might have been that light of Jesus to this poor, eternally lost soul who carried out such a horrible, incredulous actand what if because someone didnt along his life, this man instead allowed the devil in and pure evil to sculpt his heart, mind, and actions. I have one qu questionwhat if the person you ignore, dont speak to beside you, and dont share Jesus with is the next one to let the enemy embrace his or her soul instead? What might be the ramications? Why are we so worried to be politically correct when there are LIVES at stake, both here on Earth and eternally?! So, this is my New Years Resolution. I am DONE with planting many but cultivating little (Haggai 1:6). I am DONE with the easy Christian life and daily rat race. I am DONE with feeling helpless in this sinful world. I am committing 2013 (and I pray much longer than that!) to taking the WAR on Christianity seriously. I will pray for Gods wisdom each day to know WHO to reach out to, WHOM to serve, and HOW to cultivate, encourage, and build up an ARMY for Christ out of the people that He has purposefully placed in my path. I WILL NOT ignore my daily responsibilities to His Kingdom, I WILL NOT let my God-given gifts go to waste for this community, and I WILL NOT go one day without arming myself with His Holy Word and the true Power that comes with knowing and calling upon it! So there. My soap box. My nal words for 2012. My pledge to the New Year. Will you join me and take your Christianity and the lives of others seriously in 2013? I pray that you will. I will pray for you and your crucial role in this WAR. Please pray for me and mine.

BECOMING MAGAZINE Q1 2013

GODS PRESENCE in the PRESENT

I have a mind for details. Over fourteen years later, I can tell you who gave us which wedding gifts, can walk the classrooms of my elementary school in my mind, and sing you countless jingles from the 80s. While this ability occasionally comes in handy to astonish others, it often feels like a catalogue of seemingly useless information. Even more importantly, it is a reminder to me that for all the details that my mind sees and retains, I often have to push myself to see the big picture. I can very easily get so swirled up in the details of daily life that I forget what is most important and what my ultimate goals are. Recently this was readily apparent to me when, after a challenging afternoon of parenting, I found myself nit picking one child throughout dinner. My husband looked at me in astonishment as if to say, Really? Can you give her a break? But he was not with me for the preceding hours when my many corrections had been ignored. As I processed the situation later, I began to wonder if my obsession with details was the very reason I was being ignored. I didnt have a goal in the present (other than surviving) or a goal in my parenting and so I nit picked all the details in front of me and the results were not very pretty or enjoyable for any of us. However, with the start of a new year, I decided that it was time to put a single goal in the forefront of my mind for myself and for my parenting. In 2013, I would like to be rooted in the present and attuned to the living God. I would like my ears and heart to look for His presence throughout the day, not in a frantic or fearful way, but in wonder and expectation. He is there, but too often I miss Him because I am so focused on a multitude of details and I forget to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) and that He can be trusted. I am not sure, but I think that being rooted in His presence in the present will lead me to doing less more often; less running around, less nit picking myself and others, less frantic activity, and less multi-tasking. When I nd that I have lost my focus on Gods presence, I plan to use the tools of thankfulness, meditation on scripture, and deliberately opening myself to the moment I am in rather than racing ahead or replaying the past, to help me nd Him again. In my parenting, I would like 2013 to be a time where we, as a family, realize that our choices matter to God. How we think, act, speak, and care for what He has given us is vitally important. Therefore, I resolve to allow my children to make more choices and to let them experience the consequences, both good and bad. I also resolve to not constantly pick up their things because, in the short term, it is easier and faster for me to take care of it. I will ask them to care for their possessions and remember that how they choose to live impacts not only themselves, but our entire family. I will write these two goals in my Bible so that they are before me each day in 2013. While I do not know what this new year holds, I pray that I will say, I trust you, Jesus through each step and I eagerly anticipate knowing Him more intimately in the coming year.

BECOMING MAGAZINE Q1 2013

SELF DISCIPLINE
I have struggled over the past several years with self-discipline or self-control in the areas of taking time alone with the Lord and with exercise. Now, I will admit, that the past eight years I have spent off and on pregnant and distracted with little kids but I am at the point where the excuse is wearing thin. I may have an 8 year old and an 8 month old and a couple in between- but self-discipline is still a necessity. Because what I am nding is that when this crucial trait starts to suffer in one area the symptoms begin to appear in other areas as well including the budget and the pantry (i.e. too little control in both areas!) My rst thought was to look at what God says about self-discipline to make sure that my concerns are biblical concerns and in fact yes there are numerous scriptures that refer to the necessity of self-control in the Christian life. After reading many of them the crux of my issue was summed up perfectly in Pauls letter to the Corinthians. In 2 Corinthians 7:1 Paul calls us to purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. And in his letter to the Romans (12:1-2) he exhorts them to offer your bodies as living sacrices, holy and pleasing to God, and not to be conformed to the pattern of this world. These verses stood out to me because they will help to keep my motive for seeking self-control pure. If my goal of self-control is just for a hot bod post pregnancy then it falls short. But if my outlook is to understand that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and a healthy body allows me to serve my God and my family most effectively, then that is honoring to the Lord. And if I realize that lack of time with the Lord leaves me dry and without His guidance, then of course, spending time
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time with Him regularly not only rells my tank but allows me to be in the frame of mind and frame of spirit to be most effective for my family and with my friends and with whomever the Lord may place in my path. So, if self-control is a necessity and a good trait then why do I struggle so much with it? Is it laziness? Is it apathy? Well, Paul addresses this, too! In Romans, he discusses his own inner conict and struggle with sin by writing, What I want to do I do not dothe evil I do not want to do- this I keep doing it is sin living in me that does it. And he further laments in vs. 24 of the same chapter, who will rescue me from this body of death! His answer to his own question is my hope as well, Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 7:25). The answer is Jesus Christ. Now, Jesus is not going to make me spend time with him or make me get out my weights or make me put down that piece of pie (free will is a blessing and a curse sometimes). However, I have access to all the power I need through the Holy Spirit who resides in me, and Paul states that being a new creation my desires also change (Romans 617-18). So the answer for me will be prayer and determination. I will begin by just beginning: setting the alarm, praying for perseverance and for God through the Holy Spirit to create in me the fruit of self-control (Galatians 5). This prayer I know he will answer because God promises to make me like Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18). I must press on to attain everything Christ desires for me (Philippians 3:12). Certainly, through the Lord, self-discipline is attainable and I am challenged this year to begin pursuit!

JESUS, MY TREASURE
Riches I heed not, nor mans empty praise, Thou mine inheritance, now and always: Thou and Thou only, rst in my heart, High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art. ! ! ! ~ Be Thou My Vision "Be Thou My Vision" is a hymn that disturbs the deep parts of my spirit. Every time I sing it, I know it's not true of me. I love God and I love His Word and, cognitively, I know He's the most important thing but "Thou and thou only, rst in my heart"? I'm not so sure my life tells that story. What would it mean for Jesus alone to be my heart's treasure? What does that look like lived out everyday? Surely, it does not resemble desperate grasping after worldly dreams or earthly possessions or the approval of others. But realistically, these are the "treasures" that sit on the throne of my heart more often than God. To put these aside in favor of a reward that a) is not always tangible and, b) often requires a sacrice, is hard. Eternally speaking, nothing could be greater than a relationship with Triune God. But there I go every day, tempted to gather up earthly treasures for an earthly kingdom. In Genesis 15:1, God told Abram, "I am your shield, your very great reward". Im always happy to take the Lord as my shield, but the brutal truth is that I'm often disappointed by the second part of this promise. In the deep, dark recesses of my heart, I want the glory, comfort, and control that earthly rewards bring. A.W. Tozer writes of the blessedness of possessing nothing and I love his perspective: "The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One" It is this that I want to strive for. The opening of the clenched st. The surrender of the heart. The denial of all things self. The great release of all worldly gifts in order to claim and cling to One thing alone. To claim possession of nothing and, in a great paradox, have utterly everything. In truth, this scares me. It forces me to trust that God is everything He says He is- that if I give up the world, He truly will satisfy. I am encouraged by the words of the apostle Paul, who gave up more for Christ than most of us would ever dare. "I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the innite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christand become one with him." Philippians 3:7-9 Lord Jesus, "turn my eyes from worthless things" (Ps. 199:37) and show me that having you as my heart's treasure is worth giving all of my life for. I believe. Help me with my unbelief.

BECOMING MAGAZINE Q1 2013

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