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Our focus is on understanding what a self-described leadership crisis or wounding experience means to education leaders and how it influences their professional and personal growth and development. Two essential questions guide our work. First, how does a reasonable, wellintentioned person, who happens to be a school leader, preserve a healthy sense of self in the face of a host of factors that may challenge that self or even lead to a wounding crisis? Second, what perspective on the work of leadership can shed light on these challenges and produce a mind-set that leaves the individual open to learn and grow from such experiences?
Lessons Learned
School leaders must expect messiness and must create conditions that allow space for their inner work of self-discoveryand for everyone else's. A principal put it well: The nonnegotiable that I come back to most often is being true to myselfheeding the call of my heart, my core, for better or worse. Sooner or later a true leader is going to stir the pot and, if great things happen as a result, is going to get splattered and slopped on. Spillage is inevitable. (Hallowell, 1997, p. 55) School leaders will almost always be vulnerable to wounding because they reside at a very public intersection and are often the knowing or unknowing recipients of the public's expectations, hopes, and fears. Many leaders we met described how they learned to deal with the requirements of their roles, developing strategies for deflecting criticism by growing scar tissue and binding their anxieties in what Donaldson (2001) described so well as conspiracies of busyness. But the troublesome feelings that the public's projections create have the potential to bring about new ways of seeing and being, showing leaders how to live up to their own truth and circumstances rather than to some heroic ideal.
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Consider Joan, a principal who opened her newspaper one morning to find the headline: Joan Willow a Dictator! The article was based on a letter that an irate parent had sent to the newspaper describing a series of school-related decisions that Joan had made. A number of articles prompted by the same parent were subsequently published, detailing further alleged misdeeds. Joan was told that, as a semipublic official, she was fair game. She said, I had to back down. . . . I had to rely on other people to say No, she's not that bad, she's not a dictator. But to choose that word when I take such pains to not be autocratic, to be collaborative, to work with people. It was the antithesis of what I was. It didn't make me question what I was, but to have that in black and white was deeply upsetting because really that article was not just about my leadership style, it was about who I am. It was saying publicly that I was someone that I'm definitely not. A groundswell of support from parents, teachers, students, and community groups rose to counter the charges leveled against her. The accusing parent subsequently apologized, both in writing and in person. Joan summed up, There was a kind of redemption, and it was over. Never blaming anyone, Joan had moved wisely across a hazardous landscape. Rather than strike back defensively, she had trusted in her own integrity and in her community's faith in her. Joan discovered the restitution of her self; she was a bit scarred but determined to get on with her work. The vulnerability paradox, simply put, is this: Wounding can be a time of the heart's greatest vulnerability, and a school leader can find an honest direction in the very opening that the wound creates. Many storieslike Joan's, at first glancesuggest that the problem lies out there, caused by some uncontrollable force or agency. Such a belief affords school leaders a kind of safety net. Living the genuine leadership life, however, means confronting vulnerability from within and without and not making excuses. Leaders find that this kind of confrontation requires talking to people they can trustpeople who are willing to bear witness to their stories without necessarily trying to fix anything. Sometimes, we simply need someone to listen. Sharing the burden and vulnerability of leadership can offer solace, hope, and healing. For example, Sharon, a newly appointed principal of a newly built school, was unprepared for the severe backlash from teachers assigned to herpeople who did not want to be there and who had an ax to grind. She felt that she had failed, and she started to question her abilities. Despite her strong character, she feared appearing weak or powerless to her faculty and supervisors. She commented, I really did feel alone. You don't dare let the district office know you're not successful. I have two really good friends who are principals, and I would just call and say, What do I do now? And sometimes it was even, Don't tell me anything to do; just listen to me. Sharon wisely sought support from people she trusted, which helped her manage her emotions and not act in ways that she would later regret. When we left Sharon, she was more humble in her role as leader, more comfortable with the ambiguities of her work, and less rigid than before the crisis. The story reminds us that rapidly evolving communication technologies pose crucial challenges to educators who place a high value on natural, open, and honest conversation. Individuals
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and schools now communicate with one another in timely ways and at blinding speeds. All the more reason to keep our human voices unmistakably real. In the so-called information age, we must nurture humane organizational structures and, especially, leadership committed to human learning. Fortunately, schools, districts, foundations, and universities are recognizing the need for real connections and are providing forums for leaders to gather and reflect on their practice. Notable today are the home-grown district-based principals' centers, leadership academies, and institutes that are steadily gaining a foothold as integral players in the field of leadership development. Also, new collaborative leadership forms are emerging (Donaldson, 2001), representing a healthy way of thinking about leadership and holding the promise that schools can lead themselves in new ways.
References
Ackerman, R. H., & Maslin-Ostrowski, P. (2002). The wounded leader: How real leadership emerges in times of crisis. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Chodron, P. (2001). The places that scare you: A guide to fearlessness in difficult times. Boston: Shambhala. Donaldson, G., Jr. (2001). Cultivating leadership in school: Connecting people, purpose, and practice. New York: Teachers College Press. Hallowell, B. (1997). My nonnegotiables. In G. A. Donaldson, Jr. (Ed.), On being a principal: The rewards and challenges of school leadership. San Francisco: JosseyBass. Palmer, P. J. (1998). The courage to teach: Exploring the inner landscape of a teacher's life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Editor's Note: This article originally appeared in the April 2004 issue of Educational Leadership. Richard H. Ackerman is Associate Professor of Educational Leadership in the College of Education and Human Development at the University of Maine; (207) 581-3170 ; richard.ackerman@umit.maine.edu. Pat MaslinOstrowski is Professor of Educational Leadership at Florida Atlantic University; (954) 236-1036 ; pmaslin@fau.edu. They are coauthors of The Wounded Leader: How Real Leadership Emerges in Times of Crisis (Jossey-Bass, 2002).