KEY IDEAS FOR AVOIDING FREEDOM AND RESPONSIBILITY

Therapists frequently face clients who feel trapped, immobilized, powerless, and out of control of their own lives. Although an outside observer thinks that they could easily make new choices to create a happier life, they do not experience themselves as free: These people seem, stubbornly, to resist awareness of their freedom, often to the frustration of exhausted friends who have tried to give them wise advice or a helpful kick in the pants. At other times, clients are convinced that they have unlimited possibilities and that the limitations that constrain others do not apply to them. They act impulsively, letting chips fall where they may, and move from one path to another without ever making successful, lasting commitments. Therapists must understand the concepts freedom and limitations and be able to help clients examine these two domains of their lives. The book How People Change (Wheelis, 1975) illuminates these complex issues.

FREEDOM AND LIMITATIONS The domain of freedom is not absolute. Forces outside us determine many actions and events. We are faced with limitations, constraints, and necessityand must make the best of what has been givenor imposed. Each person has a sub-jective view about which areas of his or her life have the potential for free choice, in contrast to areas in which there are no possibilities, no freedom, and no room for choice. Alcoholics Anonymous and other Twelve Step programs have a prayer that helps members understand that they need courage to change the things that they can change and serenity to accept what they cannot. The most important thing to seek is the wisdom to know the difference between those two categories. Without that wisdom, people are at risk for two kinds of errors: (1) the illusion of freedom, when there are objective constraints, which leads to efforts to change things over which we have no control; and (2) the illusion of limitations, when they dont exist in reality, which leads to passivity in areas in which change is possible. Therapists can help their clients to categorize their limitations as either reality-based or selfimposed.
R E A L I T Y - B A S E D L I M I TA T I O N S

Reality-based limitations including geography, natural laws, and the will of an-other person, cannot be changed by choice, will, or effort. Facing such limitations means accepting the lack of
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possibilities and alternatives, and reconciling your-self to a narrower range of freedom than you would hope for, but, at the same time, it relieves you of the frustration of repeated unsuccessful efforts. Sometimes these limitations seem so overwhelming that there appears to be no space for free choice. However, Viktor Frankl (1997), a concentration camp survivor, reminds us that there is always room for freedom: Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedomsto choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way (p. 86). The judgment that a limitation exists in reality will vary in different places and times in history. For instance, we generally conclude that our genetic makeup is a given of our condition. However, nowadays there are surgeries that make the consequences of genes, if not the genes themselves, fall within the domain of freedom. Progress in genetherapy will definitely affect the view of an unchangeable limitation.
S E L F - I M P O S E D L I M I TA TI O N S

Self-imposed limitations can be changed by the exercise of choice, will, and effort, but the person sees himself as yielding to some external necessity, and experiences the situation as one in which he has no choice. If you correctly identify the illusory nature of this type of limitation, you will expand the range of possibilities in your life. An example of an internal constraint, which can be suspended or disobeyed, is the statement, I cant quit college and earn my living as a carpenter. It would be more accurate for the person to say, I choose not to quit college because Im not willing to endure the anxiety of taking a risk in life, and Im afraid of my mothers displeasure. Another self-imposed limitation is using our childhood or physical disability as a reason to remain unhappy, instead of making positive choices from the alternatives available in the present. A metaphor of self-imposed limitations is the picture of someone in a prison cell, looking out the barred windows, wishing for freedom, and never noticingthat the door to the cell is wide open. An objective appraisal of the nature of limitations in an individuals life cannot produce a valid prediction of the amount of freedom a person will use. Someone who is behind bars but lets his mind travel freely has more real freedom than the guard who follows orders and never brings a higher human capacity to the moral issues of using freedom well.
A N X I E TY A N D D R E A D

You might think that a new awareness of freedom would bring optimism, exhilaration, and a sense of empowerment but, instead, it often triggers the pain of being condemned to freedomon a lonely journey without a guide, landmarks, or road maps. Two interpretations of freedom were described by Erich Fromm in Escape from Freedom(1941): (1) the ability to develop individual potentialities and to live actively and spontaneously; and (2) a frightened, alienated state that makes people eager to submerge their individuality in something bigger than
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themselves, such as religious extremism or fanatical patriotism. Yalom (1980) makes the point that the dread of either freedom or limitation promotes extreme counter reactions to that dread. Dread of limits can lead to grandiose overextension of resources, whereas dread of freedom can result in a constricted life, with excessive structure and rituals, making each day exactly like the last.
P R E C O N D I T I O N S F O R E F F E C TI V E E X E R C I S E O F F R E E D O M

Freechoice does not refer to emitting automatic, impulsive behaviors, but requires a set of preconditions. In his book How People Change,Wheelis (1975) writes:
Nothing guarantees freedom. It may never be achieved, or having been achieved may be lost. Alternatives go unnoticed; foreseeable consequences are not foreseen; we may not know what we have been, what we are, or what we are becom-ing....Freedom is...contingent upon consciousness, and so may be gained or lost, extended or diminished. (pp. 1415)

A V A I L A B L E A L TE R N A T I V E S

Freedom remains a philosophical abstraction unless it becomes manifest, concretely, in a form that can be utilized. Without viable alternatives, there is no opportunity for choice. It is not enough that alternatives existthe person must be aware of them. Wheelis (1975) describes an ant who is suffering in a concrete parking lot. If it knew that a certain car was about to drive to the country, it could jump on its wheel and soon be enjoying a wonderful picnic in a grassy paradise. However, without awareness of that alternative, the ant has no freedom to choose. One of the primary goals of therapy is to help clients discover and evaluate alternatives.
A B I L I TY TO C O N TE M P L A TE C O N S E Q U E N C E S

To choose wisely among alternatives, it is necessary to be able to imagine the probable and the possible consequences of each alternative. This condition requires a reasonable amount of time and life experience. Because it is impossible to predict the future, we need to accept that all major choices will be made with insufficient information and require, to some degree, a leap into the unknown.
C A P A C I TY T O P O S TP O N E A C T I O N

If a person lacks the capacity to postpone an action, the choice cannot be considered free, even if he or she feels subjectively free at the time. Rather than freely chosen, the action is considered impulsive or is attributed to what the legal system calls an irresistible impulse. In using terms
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like delay of gratification and frustration tolerance,we address an individuals capacity to forego current pleasure and to endure unpleasant emotions, because of the prediction that present sacrifice will be rewarded by long-term positive consequences of alternative choices. When an action is involuntary and automatic, the causation is attributed to external factors or the givens of biology rather than free choice.
C H O I C E S S T E M F R O M O U R TR U E D E S I R E

Choices would not be considered free and voluntary if they were coerced. What makes this condition more complicated than the others is that humans have the capacity to deceive themselves into believing that they have freely chosen a path, when they are operating from past conditioning, based on rewards and punishments from parents, or from beliefs and values that were accepted from authorities and never critically examined. For instance, a workaholic believes that he freely chooses to place work above other activities in life, although his choices were shaped by the fact that working hard and getting academic awards was compensation for being rejected by his peers. A college dropout believes that her choice was motivated by love of freedom and might not recognize that her dislike of school flowed directly from her parents messages that she was not as smart as her siblings.
EVASION OF FREEDOM

Often people are ignorant of the fact that constraints to their freedom are self-imposed. One important task of a therapist is to educate clients that many of the limitations they believe are real are, in fact, products of their own creation. Many people reorient their perspective on freedom and limitations when their errors are explained; others will go to extremes of illogic and stubbornness to continue to deny their freedom. Following are eight examples of ways in which people evade freedom.
I NEED A GUARANTEE

In contrast to people who act without thinking about consequences, there are those who are reluctant to act unless they achieve 100% certainty that their choice will have a successful outcome. Their illusions that the future can be predicted with certainty and that they can obtain some kind of guarantee are huge barriers to using freedom, and often are clever disguises for the underlying fear of takinga risk.
THIS IS MY NATURE

A great deal of existential literature addresses the difference between the fixed essence of a nonhuman object and the dynamic existence of a human who is in an ever-unfolding process of becoming and changing. People deny their freedom when they fix a label on themselves and use
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the excuse that they cant be any different because this is their true nature. A 95-year-old woman with many physical disabilities but a clear, sharp mind, was losing vision in one eye from a cataract, a condition that was limiting one of the few remaining pleasures in her life, reading. Her daughter, with whom she lived, offered every possible logical argument to persuade her to have surgery, as did her physician and social worker. When she was asked why she refused, her answer was, Im a stubborn person. I never change my mind once Ive made it up. Parents contribute to the labeling process when they use language in a way that defines their childs essence: My daughter is shy instead of She prefers to read in her room rather than mingle with guests. Mental health professionals also use labels in a way that diminishes the clients awareness of freedom of choice. Terms such as agoraphobic, antisocial personality or bulimic imply that the person has a disorder and cannot wake up the next morning and choose to be different. Naturally, there is a self-fulfilling prophecy that operates when people believe that a humans nature is fixed. Existentialists often disapprove of theories that use the concept of self as if there were a preexisting true self waiting to be discovered. Instead, they believe in an ongoing process of freely developing and creating ones self.
I CANT OR I COULDNT

The person constricts the realm of possibility and avoids the anxiety associated with risk. I cant help it allows the person to deny having made a choice, while claiming to have good intentions. The words I would if I could is often a form of deceptionto both the self and the other person. It is more honest and courageous to admit free choice and say, I dont want to or I refuse to, thus risking negative consequences or earning respect from others. Many children learn that it is safer to plead stupidity and disability than to assert their will and risk a punishment. People are often very skilled at denying choices they have made: I would have called you to tell you that I was going to be late, but my cell phone battery was dead is a statement that ignores the choice not to borrow a phone or use a pay phone. Before rushing to judgment that cant is a copout, as Perlswould have called it, it is important to explore the persons thought processes and ask about the perceived obstacles, in case it is a lack of awareness, skills, or resources.
I DONT WANT TO

If a person really does not want to do something, and does not do it, she exercises freedom of choice. However, the illusion of free choice is sometimes expressed as I could do it if I wanted, but I dont want to when the person has never viewed the rejected alternative as a legitimate possibility nor sampled it to see if it brought satisfaction. Often, the words I dont want to translate as Im afraid to.

I HAVE TO OR HAD TO

I have to or I must along with phrases like I shouldnt and I ought not create necessity where there could be freedom. The limitation is viewed as external and mandatory. A person who experiences himself as free would say, I choose to do this because I have created this moral code for myself, or I have evaluated the probable consequences of doing it, and I choose to take that risk.
YOU CAN DO IT FOR ME

People evade freedom by handing the power over to someone else. Often they dont experience this as a conscious manipulation: Their subjective perspective is that they are weak, helpless, incompetent, or entitled and that they need the other person to serve functions for them. Therapists can end up in the role of rescuer when people play stupid or play helpless to deny their own competence and get another person to provide answers and make decisions.
HABITS

What once was a choice gets repeated over and over again until we do it on automatic pilot. Then it feels as if that is the only way we can be. We view it as our character. We always do things the same way, buy the same kinds of clothes, go to the same two or three restaurants, and travel to the same vacation spot. We also have habits of awareness, attending to certain aspects of experience and ignoring others. For instance, a person listens to every thought in his head but completely tunes out the information coming from bodily sensations and emotional reactions. A person attends to what others want and has no clue about her own needs and preferences. Another person is finely attuned to his own feelings but does not attend to the other persons words and reactions. People who exercise freedom understand that breaking old habits and forming new habits can be extremely difficult, but it is possible and under their control.
CONFORMITY AND OBEDIENCE

A certain degree of opposition to social norms is necessary for people to freely develop their unique potential and choose the path that has heart for them. Doing what is expected, being a good child, and being part of the crowd are paths that allow one to safely avoid a sense of freedom. People also look to a group larger than themselvesteenagers look to their peer groupto decide what is fashionable and appropriate. Choices are based on what everyone else is doing, and possibilities are ignored if they bring ridicule or shame. Acceptance and approval from others become more important than discovering your own needs, talents, and desires. Ways in which people submerge their individuality in larger groups are apparent in religious extremism, fanatical patriotism, teenage gangs, and exclusive ethnic and cultural communities. Becker, in his book The Denial of Death(1973), explained how people seek a sense of enduring,
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absolute truth through such immortality systems as religious groups, political philosophies, or cultural activities. Because they need to hold on to the righteous feeling that they have found absolute truth, they tend to be aggressively intolerant of people who have different truths. A component of real freedom is having an open mind to let new and disturbing ideas enter for your own independent evaluation, rather than having a rigid mental gatekeeper to screen out anything that does not fit what you already have decided to believe.

RESPONSIBILITY

It is not enough for us to mobilize a sense of freedom in clients: We need to help them use their freedom in ways that make positive changes in their lives, without causing harm to others. Freedom and responsibility go hand and hand. You are free to do whatever you want, but you are responsible for the consequences of everything that you do.Responsibility is a complex topic with many definitions and applications, which students of law or philosophy struggle to grasp. It is not an all-or-nothing concept: We need to analyze every human situation on a case-by-case basis to apply it wisely.
I D E N T I F Y I N G T H E C A U S E O R C R E A TO R O F A C T I O N S A N D C O N S E Q U E N C E S

Responsibility is sometimes equivalent to accountability. When there are consequences, good or bad, for choices made in the past, who should appropriately receive the praise or blame, rewards or punishment, forgiveness or moral judgment? If the present suffering of an individual is a direct consequence of her own past choices, the sufferer bears at least some responsibility for her own pain. Sometimes no one is responsible because it was not under human control when a car accident is caused by weather or a well-maintained airplane develops a malfunction. Figuring out causation is complicated because there are usually multiple causes for a single event and often responsibility needs to be apportioned among several individuals. In some situations, a person is responsible for the behavior of someone else. For example, if a child breaks a window, the parents are obligated to pay for it. Likewise, if one is a member of a criminal conspiracy, he is punishable for the crime that was physically committed by a fellow conspirator.
E V A L U A TI N G T H E A P P R O P R I A T E N E S S O F G U I L T F E E L I N G S

Evaluation of guilt feelingsas excessive, insufficient, or appropriatedepends on the persons degree of responsibility for an action and the severity of the harm done. Guilt is the appropriate emotion when we realize that we have violated our own code of behavior, especially when harm has been done to others.
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Therapists may be predisposed to think of guilt as a negative emotion that should be reduced rather than one that should be heeded. When we are clear about when guilt is appropriate, we will recognize three problematic conditions in clients: 1. Inappropriate guilt: The client suffers from undeserved guilt and self-blame, when the bad thing that happened was not the clients fault, or when the necessary thing that did not happen was not her responsibility. 2. Excessive guilt: The client bears all or some responsibility for a bad thing, but even after taking proper steps to atone and make amends, the guilt is preserved as a form of self-torture. 3. Lack of guilt:Bad things that happened were the clients fault and/or omissions of necessary behaviors were her responsibility, but she feels no guilt, contrition, or remorse.
SELF-BLAME

While it is appropriate to blame yourself for actions that cause harm, the next steps should be making amends, reparations, or restitution; seeking forgiveness and reconciliation; and committing to better behavior in the future. If a person assigns self-blame, sinks into depression, labels herself as bad, takes no actions to repair the situation, and continues to repeat the harmful act, the self-blame can be viewed as an avoidance of responsibility.
T HE C O N C E P T O F V I C T I M

The term victimis appropriately used when someone suffers from events or actions for which he or she does not bear responsibility. A child is a victim of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse inflicted by an adult: It was 100% the responsibility of the adult not to harm the child. If my car skids in the rain when I was driving a safe speed, I was the victim of an accident. If a person is not hired for a job because of the color of her skin, then she is a victim of racial discrimination. There are two errors in applying the concept of victim: (1) blaming yourself when you actually are an innocent victim, as when you are a victim of rape; and (2) presenting yourself to others in the role of victim when you bear responsibility for choices that contributed to your suffering or for failure to make choices to reduce your suffering. Victimhood, like responsibility, is not all or nothing. When a person is victimized while under the influence of alcohol, the decision to imbibe alcohol and put himself in a risky situation falls in the do-main of his responsibility; the responsibility of the perpetrator, however, is not diminished by the victims alcohol-induced impairments. While the term victimis appropriately applied to children, it is questionable how well it fits adults who are now emancipated and free to make their own choices. Some adults continue using their status as a victim as a causal explana-tion for their current difficulties, without taking responsibility for needed changes in their lives. The belief that having been a victim in the past prevents positive actions in the present and destroys hope for happiness in the future, can be
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challenged by the fact that many people with horrendous stories of cruel mistreatment in childhood have managed to become successful, optimistic, and thriving adults.
COMMITMENT

When you make a commitment, you freely decide to limit your own freedom. You turn your back on available possibilities. The capacity to make a major life commitment comes with knowledge of your own needs, talents, limitations, and values; experimentation with different temporary paths; and a realistic, nonutopian appraisal of what life has to offer. You agree to accept minor negative consequences because they are outweighed by the benefits that come from choosing a certain path. However, if, at a future time, you discover that prolonged pain and misery have replaced the benefits you anticipated, you are free to make new choices. Making a commitment sets limits on freedom but does not destroy it. Clients bring problems at two extremes: (1) the inability to make and keep a commitment(often labeled irresponsibility by others), and (2) the inability to terminate an old commitment based on an updated cost-benefit analysis. People who avoid commitment sometimes fit the Jungian archetype of puer aeturnus (puella for females), meaning eternal youth. They hold on to these attitudes: I want it allI want to have my cake and eat it too; I want to keep all my options open. Sometimes they have fears that have never been concretely identified, so it is important to ask questions like, What are the consequences that you are afraid of ? What will you be losing? and How will your life be 10 years from now if you never make this kind of commitment?People who easily and frequently break commitments often have unrealistic expectations, imagining that life can be free of problems, stress, and negative emotions, or that another person can be free of flaws, perfectly attentive and devoted, and never grow older, fatter, or less sexually desirable. There are also many signs of childlike thinking in people who refuse to quit something that has not yielded success: If I want it enough, its got to work out. Ive got to show themthat Im not a quitter. If I fail at this, Im worthless and Ill never be happy. I am afraid that without this I have nothing. In Los Angeles, many unhappy restaurant servers are committed to making it in the movie business and refuse to explore a different career possibility. There needs to be a middle road between never making a commitment because your desires seem to change constantly and making a commitment that is so set in concrete that you sacrifice future freedom.

STAGES OF AUTONOMOUS DECISION MAKING

Theprocess of autonomous decision making can be conceptualized into these stages: Identify Wants Evaluate Behavior Choose Will Plan Act Evaluate The process for a specific client can be easy or complicated. The best-case scenario is a motivated client who wants change, has expectations of success, is willing to expend effort and practice self-discipline, and has basic tools and competencies for achieving the goals. When there are blocks to the smooth unfolding of this process, the therapist needs to make an assessment and choose ap-propriate strategies, frequently integrating other hypotheses. Sometimes a client will need help at every stage. Other times, the therapy plan will focus on only a piece of the process. For instance, a client might be quite clear about what she wants and chooses, know exactly which plan is best, but feel incapable of developing the will and determination to persist and turn wishes into action. Another client might be stuck in a quagmire of confusion and ambivalence about what she feels and wants, but once there is clarity about the desired goal, the imple-mentation of appropriate action is effortless. The following outline suggests the therapeutic issues for each stage. Understanding the issues leads to clearly stated process goals to guide selection of specific techniques, as shown in the following steps.
IDENTIFY WANTS

Free choice requires awareness of your own desires, tastes, talents, interests, passions, and values. Sometimes people feel very vague and confused about what they want, because they have based all of their choices on the demands, de-sires, rules, and tastes of other people or on doing whats expected, being a good child, winning acceptance and approval, and being part of the crowd. Using the well-known methods of Carl Rogers (e.g., empathic restatements, a nonjudgmental acceptance of everything the client expresses, and a warm, caring presence) will facilitate the clients involvement in a process of self-discovery.
E V A L U A TE B E HA V I O R

Reality therapy (Glasser, 1965) provides an important step: Focus on the clients current behaviors and actions and help the client evaluate her choices: Is what you are doing getting you what you want? Does your behavior help you or hurt you? She decides that her behavior needs to change not because a parental authority tells her so, but because she sees that she is defeating her own goals and is contributing to her own unhappiness. For instance, in trying to help an alcoholic give up drinking, it is important to have the client see how drinking behavior is wrong, not because others complain about it, but because it interferes with achievement of his valued goals. It is important that clients make the evaluation for themselves.
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CHOOSE

One possibility is that the client will choose to remain exactly the same. If the client is dissatisfied with the status quo, the choosing stage usually involves a process of exploring and weighing alternatives. The client may plead, Tell me what to do, and the therapist can respond, Lets look together at your alternatives.It is important to generate a list of more than two alternatives. Egan (2002) recommends brainstorming a comprehensive list of possible alternatives, which includes ridiculous and humorous choices. The discussion of alternatives includes a cost-benefit analysis that incorporates values, priorities, and predictions of consequences to self and others. It can be very helpful to write down a chart to capture all the relevant information. Sometimes the choice leads to a specific action plan such as apply to med school, take a yoga class, or return to my home state. Other times, the client expresses the choice in vaguer terms such as find a career that interests me, take steps to become healthier, or find a community where I feel a sense of connection. The therapist helps the client make goals more specific, making sure that they are realistic and under the clients control. Often there are multiple goals or competing goals. This is where the client needs help in resolv-ing ambivalence or in setting priorities. The therapist shares hunches, confronts discrepancies and inconsistencies, and helps examine external pressures and real-world limitations. At this stage, the therapist identifies barriers to using freedom and taking responsibility.
WILL

This is the most challenging of all the stages, and if there werent so much pain involved, it would be humorous: How is it that a person cannot control her own arm? Yet, it is the arm that lifts the glass or the fork, and places it against the lips, even when it seems against the persons will. I cant get myself to do what I intend to do is the lament of people who have trouble implementing their positive choices. The clients commitment to work toward goals involves mobilization of a sense of power and optimism. I choose that goal evolves to I will achieve that goal. The term willrefers to an internal locus of choice and power. Think of the different meanings of I may do it and I will do it.The second phrase conveys an intention, a sense of purpose, and belief in your potency and compe-tence. It is the bridge between thinking and behavior. The term will power,not as common today as it was in prior generations, conveys that you are capable of conforming your behavior to your intentions. Without the capacity for self-control, the promise of I will is hollow. The term commitment fits here: You choose a specific course and renounce alternatives. The stages of change construct developed by Prochaska, Norcross, and DiClemente (1994) can be a useful framework. If the client is still at the precontemplationor contemplation phase, rather than an action phase, the therapist needs to help move the client to the preparationphase, instead of pushing prematurely for action. People who work in battered womens shelters are aware of how often clients change
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their minds before they muster the will to take action. The concept of courageis often relevant, when action involves feared consequences, and therapists therefore need to be aware of the need for encouragement.
PLAN

If the only choices we make are those that can be implemented immediately, planning would be unnecessary. However, major decisions in life require commitment to a project for the future, which requires many stages, extended over a long stretch of time. For some clients, clarity about goals combined with an internal sense of purpose is sufficient, and they dont need the therapists help any more. For others, a planning stage is necessary to move them toward action. Long-term goals may be broken into subgoals that create a step-by-step ladder to the desired outcome. Designing strategies to achieve goals requires creativity and flexibility. The client must evaluate, realistically, any available resources and predicted obstacles. The best tools for planning are found in the business section of a bookstore, in books written for managers that include topics on time management, delegation, breaking tasks into steps, and creating schedules.
ACT

Without action, we stay in the restricted domain of our minds. With action, we begin to make an impact on others and the environment. Many small steps taken by the client can symbolize the move from preparation to action. If someone wants to get a college degree, he can read college catalogues or visit campuses. Some clients will be ready to terminate when they are clear about the path that they have chosen to follow. The therapist can help them harness the social support in their natural environment or find relevant community resources. Other clients might need the therapists support and assistance in the action stage. In Reality therapy when a client fails to follow through on a plan, the therapist does not accept excuses nor does she criticize, but instead focuses on consequences of behavior and on making new plans.
E V A L U A TE

It is essential to monitor the impact of actions, evaluating consequences and re-vising plans as necessary. Action usually begins before the plans are completed: Small steps toward goals can give feedback that will lead to improved plans. Clients must understand that they are free to reexamine their wants and to make new choices. A fear of action arises if people feel that, if things dont turn out the way they hoped, they are condemned to suffer without recourse. This constraint on freedom may stem from such parental warnings as You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.
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Source: Ingram, B. L. (2006). Clinical Case Formulation: Matching the Integrative Treatment Plan to the Client. John Wiley & Sons, Inc., New Jersey.

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