Harry S. Truman was President of the United States in 1951. A gallon of milk was $0.

92 and a loaf of bread was $0.16. Gasoline was $0.23 a gallon and a postage stamp cost $0.03. The Dow average was at 268 and average income was $3,500 a year. A house could be purchased for $2,000 Average income $3,510 Popular movies, The African Queen, An American in Paris, The Day the Earth Stood Still.

The Beginning
age 1 through 9 or 1951 through 1960 I was born March 27, 1951 to Wilda Kathryn and Thomas Clarence Luke. My name is Linda Kathryn; I was born in Valparaiso, Indiana. I am unique. A one of a kind human creature, with several layers of time given personality, that developed into a dry sense of humor, extremely opinionated with a fierce exaggerated outlook of the world I have lived in. Emotions plague inherited from my Father. I am the first born child of four children born to my Mother but not my Father. One of my first memories as a child was a day I was out playing on a swing set always the tomboy and fearless. I was standing on the handle bar, obviously made for your hands, swinging and my finger got caught on the upper part of the swing set and I cut my left middle finger bad enough to be taken to the doctor. I'd say I was maybe 5 years old and not even in school. This was a time when my parents were still together. Though my minds eye doesn't see those two parents images at all. I don't remember any love shared between my Mother and Father. I have no mental image of my two parents together. But that middle left finger to this day isn't like the rest of my fingers. And so my memories start with a traumatic crisis.

The Family
My earliest memories include my Grandparents on my Mothers side of the family, Mable and Ray Hetrick. They were a big German clan. Grandma had 8 children, (Ray, Dick, Honey, Sis, Marie, Shin, Sarah, Wilda) . They lived in a small borough in Pennsylvania named Kittanning, 44 miles northeast of Pittsburgh and the county seat of Armstrong County. Grandpa was a railroad man and granny a home maker. I don't remember a younger version of my grandparents because my Mother was their youngest child.

The span of time between my grandparents children allowed for grandchildren being as old or older than their youngest child. I don't have any memories of my Father, until I was maybe 10 years of age and right now, as a Grandmother myself, I have no memories of his family whatsoever, they were not a part of my life and I would bet not a part of his life either. My grandparents were loving people and I remember playing with my grandmothers knickknacks, some being horses. She had this metal clock with a horse standing tall. I worshiped horses as a youngster. Horses would become my first passion in life. I had a great fondness for that big Hetrick family and that little town of Kittanning, Pennsylvania. There was Aunt Shin, Aunt Sis, Aunt Marie, Aunt Sarah, Uncle Dick, and Uncle Ray. Though some of the family I was very close to, some I never knew but a few seemed to participate in my upbringing including my Grandmother. Mable Hetrick was a short woman. An apron was part of her daily attire. She enjoyed gardening in her huge back yard. Colorful gladiolas were the prominent sight. She was a cook and maker of homemade noodles that would lay on the kitchen table over night covered with cloth to dry. They lived in a small house that you entered into a living space with two more rooms on the first level, one which was the kitchen which lead to a huge back porch that sat very high up looking down into a backyard with an alley beyond that which ran through the neighborhood. There was an upstairs with three bedrooms. I remember my Grandmother tucking me into a bed with more covers than you would think necessary. My memories of Aunt Sis, whose correct name was Rhodetta, and the oldest of the children, was a big loving smile that always welcomed me but I would never know her as I grew to an adult as she would die and be gone. Aunt Sis made donuts and was quite the baker. She lived alone as my memories never knew her husband, though she had one and his name to me was Uncle Matt. She also never had children. I was the light in her eye, I knew I was loved by her.

I remember I ran the streets of Kittanning up to the age of 9 years old. I was all over that small town either on foot or on my bicycle. Quite the adventurer even at a young age. In those days a child could run all over and not have misadventures that children will have in the future. Or maybe it was that I was just lucky and communications in the future changed our perceptions. The small town of Kittanning was on the Allegany River. There was a bridge that spanned the Allegany River and my Aunt Shin, whose name was Genevieve had a small general store in Applewold, on the far side of the bridge from Kittanning. I do not remember Aunt Shin's husband as he died before my memories began. Aunt Shin had four children all older than me. There was Pat, Bus, Bud and Rosie. Seems our family had a way with nicknames and even now I know the nicknames more than I know the correct names but Bus was Harold and Bud was Ray. Aunt Shin's family was a bit like Granny's as Pat was more my mother's age and Pat's children were my own age, so my 2nd cousins seemed like my first cousins and Pat who was my first cousin seemed more like an aunt. All a bit confusing but a far reaching family trend that seemed to continue generation after generation. Downtown Kittanning was one main street mostly and on the other side of the bridge from Applewold, there was a drug store, department store, two movie theaters, one on each side of the street, an ice cream store named Isleys. The city hall was up on a hill in the middle of the main street. The rest of the town was residential, with a few small stores mixed into the residential area. The roller skating rink was on an off street close into town. I know I enjoyed this activity as a youngster and Saturdays would come and I would skate. My Mom and my sister Debra and I once lived above the movie theater. I always enjoyed the movie theaters as a youngster. Always cartoons to begin, before the movie started. One of my favorite movies was The Day the Earth Stood Still. Off the main street close to the river there was a YMCA beside an Episcopalian church. Once we live behind that YMCA and the YMCA was my second home as I spent a lot of time there. I remember being in the choir at the Episcopalian church too.

One day a friend of mine and I decided to get on the roof of the drug store. There were old iron stairs that had a weight that kept them high in the air. We pulled them down and went up onto the roof. We were caught and the police made us get down. I certainly was an adventurous kid. Another time I remember living next to a church and that friend and I entered into a classroom with a decorated Christmas tree and ate the popcorn on the decorated tree. I had mercy no doubt on the Episcopalian church as this was not their classroom, nor the Episcopalian church that I attended. My Mother and I ended up stinging popcorn to replace those decorations on that Christmas tree. I remember entering a downtown department store and carrying out a pair of toy spurs and I also remember my Mother taking me back to that store to return those spurs. Yes, I was horse crazy at the time and I really don't think I was old enough to know better. But I learned a lesson. A holiday I remember was Halloween. Knocking on doors and getting candy was a pleasure at that age. A very funny thing was it seemed to start a day or two before the actual Halloween night and I got in several nights of knocking on doors. Memories are a strange thing as some details are not very clear. You enter the world and do not keep every memory with you through life. My brother Sam was born right along this time, as I am 8 years his senior. Life at 8 years old had few worries and everything appear much bigger than it really is as an adult. My Aunt Marie was married to Uncle Bob. They had to be my favorite aunt and uncle. As much as I loved my Aunt Marie, I really think that Uncle Bob was my hero. His genuine love shown through, and to this day, I'm not sure any man that I have ever known had the light of love that this man had. He introduced me to horseback riding. Though the memories are foggy, I remember him taking us horseback riding. He was an Italian and Catholic. His last name was Falsetti. Aunt Marie had a daughter, named Barbara, she was a bit older than I, but we enjoyed each others company at times. Aunt Marie and Uncle Bob lived in the Kittanning area, a small town called Ford City. I remember Barb and me sledding in the wintertime, down a hill that seemed to me a wonderful hill for sledding.

Uncle Bob would come visit me as an adult as I would visit them after they retired and moved to Florida when I was an adult. As I write I have found it very puzzling that memories of my Mother were not as clear as those of the rest of the Hetrick family. I felt the love of my Aunt Sis and that of my Grandmother and even Grandfather but something was amiss with my mother and I don't understand what it was? Though, I as a parent today know that it is hard being a single parent, the worries and responsibilities make a completely different light shed over a person. Some people are living their own lives even while raising their children. My sister Debra Marie is three years younger than me and though we are siblings there has always been a world of difference between us and even at a young age a totally different way of life and thinking.
John F. Kennedy was president of the United States. IBM introduces the first Selectric typewriter. Cost of a first class stamp was $0.04. Average yearly income was $5,735. Gas cost at $0.31. Popular movies, The Parent Trap, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Absent-Minded Professor.

Father
age 10 through 12 or 1961 through 1963 After the age of 10, my sister Debra and I went to live with our Father. I was told that it would be just a summer visit but it wasn't. I lived with my Father and stepmother Emily for a few years, up to the eighth grade. We lived in several places around Philadelphia. We also lived on the other side of the Walt Whitman Bridge in Glouster, New Jersey and I remember cold winters there that would freeze a pond solid and we use to ice skate on that pond. We lived in a trailer park in Glouster, NJ, I remember going to school there. I remember living in South Philadelphia, with street vendors and smells of cheese and it was very different for me than what was normal. Another location in Philadelphia was a shotgun apartment that you entered with a long hallway, with rooms off of the hallway on the 2nd floor. At that particular apartment there was a kitchen in back and I remember washing clothes by hand and putting them on a pulley line out on an iron porch, high above the ground. The Beatles made their first appearance in the USA during this time of my life. I skipped school for the first time in this

apartment. Though I was a good kid, this wasn't a normal thing to do and could have been the first and only time I ever skipped school. That apartment was the last place we lived with our Father. My Father and stepmother were big drinkers. They would physically fight and violence was consistent. I remember Dad taking a half full quart bottle of beer and hitting my stepmother over the head with it and blood came flying everywhere. It was traumatic as a youngster to see such things. My father abandoned us, just upped and left us with our stepmother who could not provide for us and eventually our mother came and got us. By the 9th grade I would be back with my Mother, and her new husband Ray Stone, in Fredericksburg, Virginia, living with my brother Sam, and Sister Deb, and my grandmother. By this time my grandfather had passed away.

Mother
It was difficult moving back with our mother. A child that does not have a parent in their lives for three years has forgotten facial images. There is a broken bond and I imagine the bond that was there in the first place was not strong and there was not a close relationship so a distance was formed between us. Mom was a dominant person. As an adult I often have said that she not only wanted to live her own life but she was determined to live her children's lives too. She was a controlling person.

Life in Virginia
We lived in the country in White Oak and I attended Stafford High School. By that time I was a pretty mixed up kid. I went to school but didn't appreciate school and was a mediocre student. I didn't flunk out; I just didn't apply myself as direction in my life had been lost. My mothers direction was that I would get married and a man would support me, this is not what the future held.

I still had that love for horses and for my 15th birthday I was given a choice between a drivers licenses and a horse, I choose the horse. The only experience I had with horses was riding horses at Bill and Frances Houchin's, and Frances was my stepfathers adopted sister. They were in the horse business and owned quite a few. I rode with their children and spent time with them. So owning a horse was very different from just riding horses. But we lived in the county with a nice parcel of acreage. We fenced in some woods and this horse, Jubilee was her name, was suppose to be use to being chained on a stake, but in a new place she broke her chain and started running and ran into the wire in the woods and cut herself badly. It was the first day that we had her. She limped after that and was barely ridden. This is the time when I met my first love. His name was Charles Edward Simpson. He was one of the many kids that rode horses at Bill and Frances house. I was 13 years old when I first met him and by 15 years old I was deeply in love with this fellow. He lived in King George County and I in Stafford County so we didn't go to school together. It was purely through horses that we were associated. Memories of praying that he would be in my life forever were permanent memories that lasted a lifetime as my prayers were answered.

The Early Adult Years

or 1965 through 1969 Charles disappeared out of my life for a short time and I met my first husband Gibbons Allensworth King, Jr., aka Gibby. It was no more than sex between a boy and girl that would lead to pregnancy and in that day and time you got married. There was no birth control and no abortions. I was 15 years old, soon to turn 16 and I was a confused young adult. But it was a way to get out on my own and away from my Mother and her husband and two parents that I looked at as tossing me between each other. Love felt from parents had disappeared for me at this young age, with parents that didn't guide me, love me, or show me direction.

Gibby was 18 and I was 15 when we got married. My first child Richard Allen King was born on October 2nd, 1967. Our neighbors happened to be Bill and Frances Houchin. We lived in a small trailer on a piece of land that Gibby's father owned. Being married was like being a sex toy for an overzealous 18 year old guy. He lived his own life and I lived the life of a 16 year old new mother, with the responsibility that goes along with it. Motherhood was good in as far as I loved that little guy but I was still a child myself and didn't have the maturity that I really needed to raise a child. No birth control leads to my second son, Mark Andrew King, born August 8th, 1969. He was 3 months old when I found Charles again. I had heard of the place where I could find Charles. Though I don't remember all the details but my sons were with a friend, and I drove to see him. He was in Maryland. It was a beach town along the Potomac River named North Beach. He was at a night club and worked there. It was a night club of homosexuals that preformed and he was one of those entertainers. Though at this time I don't remember every detail but after meeting up again I ended up leaving Gibby and moving to Alexandria, Virginia with Charles to start a new life. I was clueless about homosexuals but I did have this great love for Charles and knew he loved me. And of course this all happened after I returned that night to have a big to do about this adventure to meet up with Charles. I was in hot water for leaving my boys with a friend, and I was in big trouble with my Mother who wanted me to do what she wanted me to do. I returned to Gibby until eventually Charles came to get me. Time between finding him and actually leaving Gibby is uncertain as they are foggy memories after decades have gone by. We were a happy family and at last I was where I wanted to be. With a guy that I truly loved, and loved me, and the two sons that I gave birth to. Unlike my life with Gibby, I found my first job at a McDonalds, a 2nd at retail clothing store; Lerners and my last job in Virginia was working as a file clerk with Naval Intelligence. Life with Charles was a constant uproar in which he fought between life as a straight man and life as a homosexual. It seemed to be off again and on again draining me emotionally. Even at 19 years old, I was still but a child, living in a world that I didn't understand. There were only two apartments during this time, a first and a last.

The first apartment we moved into was a small dump of a place but we made due. We did not have a car and walked to the grocery store and I used public transportation to get to work. Charles family was a big part of our lives in Alexandria. His Mother Margaret and Father Bill were also big drinkers. They lived in King George mostly but we saw them a lot. Charles had a brother Mike and a sister Doris, who was a lesbian. Doris and her girlfriend came to live with us in that last apartment. I simply remember we were broke and they had money and did not contribute. My boys were a handful in that apartment and I was still very young and did not have direction for myself let alone two boys. They got into some food once and smeared it on the floor everywhere. Pancake syrup and oatmeal among other things had to be cleaned up. I cried my eyes out and was beyond frustrated but Charles stepped in to make it right. The second apartment was quite the opposite and quite nice. By this time I had my second car, a 1966 Dodge station wagon, as my first car bought, a 1963 Ford Falcon was wrecked going down a hill without brakes. I started smoking cigarette at 20 years old as I was told it would help curb my appetite. This no doubt was one of the biggest mistakes in my life but in those days everyone smoked and they smoked everywhere, hospitals, grocery stores included. Changes in our society through the years would end this.
July 20th, 1969 first moon landing. Richard Nixon was President of the United States. Gas was $0.40 a gallon. Postage was $0.08. Average income was $10,600. Intel introduces the first microprocessor. Popular movies Love Story, The Andromeda Strain, The Aristocats.

After 1971
I had a cousin that lived in Atlanta, Georgia. Her name was Charlotte, daughter of Aunt Sarah. I decided to get away from the off again, on again torture of Charles by leaving the state of Virginia and moving to Atlanta, Georgia. I had an old Dodge that I hooked up to a small U-Haul and towed for those 650 miles. Though we didn't get far before that Dodge wouldn't pull that U-Haul, in North Carolina, I rented a car, hooked up the U-Haul

and continued the journey. Finally getting to Charlotte's and leaving my boys with her, I left to return to North Carolina to get the old Dodge and return the rented car. It was a lot of hours on the road. When I finally got into Atlanta, got an apartment in East Point a suburb of Atlanta and I got very sick and I blamed the fatigue of the trip. Charlotte watched over the boys as I was so sick that I couldn't get out of bed. Finally I was well; I got a job, put the boys in daycare and started my new life. My first job in Atlanta was at Cowan Supply Company, a wholesaler of plumbing supplies. I was the youngest employee they had. I worked in accounting, mostly billing to start but I also did accounts payable. Life moved on but Charles wasn't far behind me and moved to Atlanta to be with me and the boys. Oh there were many good times. But there was never an end to the homosexual antics. I remember our first trip to Florida. It was a great family trip. Charles was driving and the road was wet. We swerved and ended up on the other side of the divided highway going the wrong way. It's funny how life puts you through these things but the time isn't right for you to be taken from this Earth. We made it to Florida. I saw my first palm trees and was in awe. I still have pictures of that trip. The boys were not even in school. They are on the beach playing in the sand. I have pictures of myself and Charles. There were very good moments indeed. But, a lesson to learn is that you can't run away from anything, as when you get to your new destination you can get caught up in the same old thing. For years Charles and I were off again then on again, over and over. He wanted both lives, one of being straight, having kids and a family and the other as a homosexual. I could not accept him being any way but straight while with me, it just couldn't work any other way. My neighbor Gail Posten, in that first apartment in East Point, lived beside me. I don't think I made friends with her but Charles met her first. But we became friends as she was a single parent of one son. My second home in Atlanta was a housing project that both Gail and I moved to; Charles didn't live with me at this time. It was brand new. A nice townhouse in Riverdale, I think, for people that didn't earn much, so it was very inexpensive for me. Though I worked I never made great amounts of money. Childcare was only covered by the full amount of Gibby's child support. From that townhouse, I moved into a trailer that Gail decided to buy and we both

decided to pool expenses and live together. Somewhere in these years I purchased my first brand new car, 1973 Mercury Capri, red with a sun roof, for $3500, later to be returned to the bank with a bankruptcy.

This is the first time I experienced drugs. Gail and I tripped on acid in the floor of that trailer. It was a trip to the circus, or a comedy club with lots of laughing. Our friendship and living together didn't last long and I moved into another apartment, with a guy named Hugh Herod. We lived together with my sons. Drugs had entered my life and I was soon to lose my two boys. Caught and jailed overnight for drugs, Gibby soon came and took my boys. Then life changed forever. For years after that I was guilt ridden and missed my boys and nothing too much mattered. Hugh and I moved into an apartment in Smyrna, Georgia. Though a nice apartment, and Hugh, probably a nice guy but drugs that we both did clouded most of our lives and my memories. Though I worked and lived it wasn't really living. I was working once again at Cowan Supply at this time. Charles was off on his own, doing his thing, and really not a part of my life. But after Hugh, though vaguely remembered, Charles and I once again were together, though not as a couple but as friends. I went to live with him in an apartment, in Union City where I met Mikie Emerson. She would become a lifelong friend and the three of us would live together in an apartment close to downtown Atlanta on 10th Street. Those years being hazy from drug use, and never just one certain type of drug but everything and anything that would come along. There was really no addiction but it seemed to be a form of entertainment for us. I was living with Charles and Mikie at the time my Father entered into my life once again. Somehow Mom was called and she called Dad and he came to Atlanta and flew me to Cleveland Ohio with him in a drug induced state. I was high as a kite the full time. I remember crying a lot but not having much control over what was happening. He bought suitcases I remember and I just went with him. We got to Cleveland, where he was living with a woman. I remember them taking me to his hangout bar in town and showing me off as his daughter. Though there was a mist of a drug induced state through it all, I didn't stay long and I hitchhiked back to Atlanta, still in that induced state of being. I remember a guy on a motorcycle picking me up and I remember falling asleep on that motorcycle, to the point that he was afraid

I'd fall off so he got a motel room and though I didn't care, he acted like my overzealous husband but I did get much needed sleep until we got back on the cycle and made our way to Atlanta.

Year after year was passing by and keeping all facts in line are hard, living off and on with Charles as simply roomies. I remember Mikie and I having apartments in the same building and Charles and Larry Patton living in another complex, within walking distance. And yet another time when I moved in with Charles and quit a job thinking I had enough saved to go to college and I started Georgia State University but the check bounced and I withdrew and quit. So many places lived at and so many jobs in between.

During this time with Mikie and Charles, there entered Richard Larry Elliott, my next love, though not one for life but a guitar playing nice guy that didn't do drugs. Amazing fact as that was, he'd be in my life for many years. The fact that he loved me and more than I loved him at the time, this only came to life years later when the reverse happened and I lost that love of his. We lived together in a down stairs apartment in a house that was beside Charles and his boyfriend Ralph Whiten. Charles business was across the street, the name was Bad Company. Charles was a hairdresser and both Mikie and I worked for a time at all his salons. My fourth person for a lifetime friendship had already entered the picture by this time, Larry Patton, a gay friend of Charles, and a lifelong friend of mine. So there was Mikie, Charles and Larry and me. I called us the four musketeers.

Ronald Regan was President of the United States. Gas cost were $1.25 a gallon. MS-DOS was introduced by Microsoft. Average income was $21,050. Popular movies Raiders of the Lost Ark, On Golden Pond, Chariots of Fire.

Second Husband
Before I bought the house I had met Jesse Lupo and I married him. He was in the navy and moved to San Diego, didn't want to lose me so married me and took me to San Diego with him. Though this only lasted 9 months and I

was back in Atlanta again. It was well after Larry Elliott and before buying the Adair house or getting the 1980 Tercel. My 2nd brand new car was purchased, a 1980 Toyota Tercel, this one I kept for a very long time. Vicki Foresman was with me during the purchase

After 1981
Larry Patton and I would both buy houses in Lakewood in south Atlanta. These houses were one street and one block away from each other. That address was 136 Adair Avenue and my first house that I bought for like 17k, Larry's house address was 182 Rhodesia Avenue. My house was a World War II house and very old. I couldn't keep up with the repairs that needed done but I lived there for many years. By this time I'd had many jobs but was presently working for Jenkins Metal Company, 49 Krog Street in Atlanta, which I started October 5th, 1983 and it was a family owned sheet metal fabricator. Though he never knew it I thought Mr. Harry Jenkins, Sr. was hot and good looking for an older gentleman. On January 24th, 1984, my first open water SCUBA dive was done in Crystal River, Florida. I dove with the manatees and a passion was born. I spent many weekends in Florida diving the fresh water springs. February 4th and 5th, 1984 found me doing my second dive trip to Crystal River, Florida. March 17th and 18th, 1984 found me in Panama City Florida diving again, a beach dive in the ocean and a dive at the Vortex, a fresh water spring. May 19th and 20th, 1984 another dive trip in North Florida, a drift dive on the Ichatucknee River and another spring dive. My brother Sam was married on June 9th, 1984 and I traveled to Virginia for their wedding.

In June 1984 I got to have the boys for a visit. I got them both certified for SCUBA and bought them mask, fins, snorkel. They had their open water dives on June 30th and July 1st, 1984 On September 15th, 1984, I got on a large sail boat and sailed over night to the Bahamas for a week of diving. This was my first salt water dive. The morning of our first dive I decided to snorkel a bit before the actual SCUBA and I remember jumping into the ocean and forgetting to hold my mask. Was no big deal but I did forget. I was alone and really living, and not in a drug induced state though I'm sure there were still times that I did drugs with Mikie, Charles or Larry.

September 7th, 1985, I did my second trip on the Morning Star sail boats to the Bahamas on a dive trip. This trip George Edward Page drove us down and back. I'd met a friend named Harry who owned a dive store in Crystal River. He helped me attend my first DEMA show for scuba diving. The convention is held every year in January. The first that I attended was in Orlando. I put many miles on that Tercel during these years. I loved going to Florida, being on a beach, and just listening to the ocean gave me great satisfaction and peace.

The passion of diving leads me into a new realm of life. I picked up 4 manufactures of scuba gear, at the convention, sold the Adair Avenue house and moved to Virginia and lived with my Mom and stepfather. Though I wasn't there with them a lot, instead on the road traveling 6 states selling scuba gear. This didn't last more than 18 months. But during the summer I camped out and during the winter I'd get motels. The camping out was much fun. That little Tercel had camping gear on top of it and the inside was choked with the gear that I sold.

Then I became a scuba instructor and worked in Virginia Beach at Lynnhaven Dive Center. Though I left during the winter of that first year and took a position in the Keys that lasted only a few months. The following summer I was back at work with Lynnhaven Dive Center being a dive instructor and Mike Hilliard's in house bookkeeper. Mike and Suzie, owned the dive store. This lasted, again, not much more than the summer season and I took a job in the Bahamas which was a real mistake. The job wasn't what it was suppose to be and the man that owned it was an alcoholic that wanted nothing to do with smokers, which I was. But I met Lindsay, who wasn't a lifelong friend but the name became more than an acquaintance with him, as it would be a name that would go down in my history in a permanent way.

George H.W. Bush was President of the United States. Gasoline cost $1.12 per gallon. Average income $29,430. The DOW Jones hit $3,000. Microsoft releases MS-DOS 5.0. Popular movies The Silence of the Lambs, Thelma and Louise, Father of the Bride.

After 1991
Finally I made my way to St Thomas in the Virgin Islands to work at Virgin Island Dive School. I figured I'd go check it out and if nothing else it would be a working vacation. In the end I stayed because this is where I met my next love of my life, His name was Verne Sasso but he had a nickname of Hook. He was a West Indian, born and raised on St Thomas, once married, with three children. He took a liking to me, and the first person of color that was in my life. We lived together for a short time before our break up took me off the island and back to live with Larry Patton in Atlanta.

I worked and spent a lot of money flying off and on St Thomas just to visit Hook. I spent at least a year in Atlanta working in accounting and a good girlfriend of mine; Helen Troha saw a classified and presented it to me. There was a job in the Atlanta newspaper advertising a position in St Thomas with a company named Trident Trust Company. Since I had made so many trips back to St Thomas to see Hook, I thought I should go back with a job and live there on my own. I interviewed with Trident people in Atlanta and got the job.

This time I was serious about living the rest of my life on St Thomas so I took everything I could, including my 1987 Toyota Tercel. I stayed with Hook a very short time, until I found a place. I first got a place with a roommate, her name was Agnes. She wasn't the ideal roommate for me and eventually I found a place of my own in a private house at maybe1000 feet overlooking the ocean. These days had to be the best times of my life. Island life was great. I had friends from the diving school. Hook was there but we didn't live together. The island was always in bloom and so colorful and my life seemed to be just about perfect. I had a vehicle to get around and a job that paid my way. Though the job didn't last long and I got a new one with Jimmy Loveland, who owned a restaurant, named Sibs and tourist business named Treasure Isle Cruises. I was still where I wanted to be in an exotic location where I still snorkeled and dove whenever I wanted to. I had a good friend Angie Litteken and we ate dinner once a month at restaurants and dove frequently as she had been a dive instructor at Virgin Island Diving School but was now working as a hairdresser. I had made my own little world finally.

I got pregnant with Hook's child but had a miscarriage. I was doing well financially, so it seemed. I always thought I'd get married again, maybe have some kids and settle down again but that was never going to happen at 42 years old. At this point Hook wasn't going to allow me to get pregnant again, I met Lincoln Hines, who was the manager of Sibs Restaurant. I stroked up a relationship with him, told him up front what I wanted and became pregnant again. I really wanted another child. I missed the boys growing up. I didn't foresee marriage at this point. The time clock was ticking away and it was like a last chance. And I got pregnant and I was so happy. I so enjoyed that pregnancy. In enters Lindsay Nicole King born March 28, 1993 on St Thomas. She was a beautiful baby. I lived on St Thomas with her for the next 3-4 months and since I was unemployed and decided that I didn't want to raise her on St Thomas because of education and medical reasons I packed up and moved back to Atlanta.
Lindsay Nicole King

I was very pregnant on my birthday on March 27, 1993. My water had broken and I wasn't at home but out and about. From my distant memory I remember being in Angie Litteken hair salon in St Thomas, where she worked. She sent me to her apartment as my apartment was way on the other side of St Thomas. I was so big that driving was a chore. I went to her apartment but I was so restless there and didn't stay long. I went on to the hospital, though my pains were not really close or hard. I knew it would be a while before you were born. The hospital got me into a room. They say it is good to walk so I walked through the maternity ward up and down the halls. I got a little sleep but not a really good deep sleep. After all I was about to have a baby. One that I had planned. It was no mistake. There was about to be a lot of joy in my life. I had a little woman doctor. She was very short as I remember. The night went by and morning came. They took me into the delivery room. I was huffing and puffing as the pain was getting harder. Don't remember if I had planned on a natural birth, don't think I had but I was just taking it as it came. I wasn't yelling out like some women were. Just huffing and puffing. It eased the pain. Though I hadn't taken a Lamaze course somehow I just knew breathing was the trick. Not sure how long the hard pains lasted, time in the delivery room is very hard to measure. But finally the pain was so bad I was asking for something as I needed some mercy on me. They wheeled me into the real delivery room. There were two nurses and the little lady doctor. They had underestimated the time of Lindsay Nicole coming into the world. They were not prepared for your entrance. I remember one of the nurses trying to sit me up and when she did you popped out very quickly. I watched the other nurse catch you and saw the little lady doctor get a face full of amniotic fluid, she was so short and she left the delivery room and came back with this plastic shield mask but honestly it was a bit late for that. The damage was done. They put you on my chest but I was fearful you'd come off and told them to take you. I was bushed at that point. My responsibility level for you was zilch and I needed those nurses to help. So you were born sometime the morning of March 28, 1993. They took you off to the nursery and me back to my room. I know I slept at that point. My deed was done. You were born and an even six pound baby with a head full of hair. I remember getting island food and it was good. They brought you to me and I held you. So small but so beautiful. I was in Mother mode for sure. We both spent the night in the hospital. The next morning I wanted out of there. I had contact with the La Leche League, a group of Mothers helping each other breast feed babies and I knew they were giving you bottles so I wanted to bail you out too. Hospitals don't like to let babies go but I bailed you out. I think a co-worker from working with Jimmy Loveland came with a car seat and drove us back to my apartment, wish I could remember her name. That is where we started our life together. We slept together in my bed, though I didn't get a lot of sleep as you were there and I was in Mother mode. But we slept and fed, slept and fed. The neighbor brought me dinner and I was so glad. Not sure I'd have even eaten if they hadn't and I surely needed it. I started singing "You are my sunshine" in that little St Thomas apartment.

So when you slept, I slept and when you were awake I was awake. But babies sleep a whole lot. We left that apartment days later, probably at least a week. The first place I went was to the camera store and bought the camera, as I knew I needed to take many pictures. After you were born, your Aunt Deb and Dave came to St Thomas. Matt had just been born July 31st, 1992 and I think Granny kept him so Aunt Deb could come. I don't remember everything but we took you to your first restaurant. I think I have pictures of that. The apartment was very small and Dave was a two year old. I think it was hard for both Aunt Deb and me as I was still in newborn Mother mode. We stayed on St Thomas for three months. I knew I was leaving. Peter Jackson came and helped me move my things along with another girl that I can't remember her name. I gave my guitar to her for helping me. We left St Thomas and flew to Atlanta, where we lived for your next nine months. At one year old we left Atlanta and moved to Fredericksburg to live with your Granny. And you are now 18 and have graduated from high school and are off to college. My but time goes by. I love my baby girl.

I stayed with Charles, who at this point was married to Mary, who had two children from a past marriage, until I found an apartment. Lindsay and I lived in a nice townhouse in Dunwoody, GA, close to Charles and Mary. I wasn't working at that point, though I was searching but I believe there was a mental block there with a baby under a year old. I wanted to just spend time with her. She was the new love of my life. She was the dream that would be my future. She was the love that would last, a child that I could raise in a better sense than the boys were raised. I had full and total commitment to this child. I was older, wiser and mature and wanted to do everything that I could do to make her a good life.

Bill Clinton was ending his term as President and George W. Bush was about to be sworn in as President of the United States. Gasoline cost $1.70 per gallon.

Around 1994
My stepfather died and my mother asked me to come back to Virginia and live with her. I hadn't been successful in finding a job in Atlanta and thought that giving Lindsay a family was a great idea. So back to Fredericksburg I moved. Lindsay grew and I worked off and on. But unlike Atlanta that use

to produce lots of jobs for me Fredericksburg didn't. The first good job I got after moving back to Virginia was at Family Preservation Service. I quit that job after finding another that didn't work out. After that I accepted a job at Pickers Supply, though the money wasn't good, least it was a job and I was in guitar heaven that just seemed to mean so much to me. After 5 years with Mother, I think I was depressed. My life wasn't mine any longer. I didn't have my own home. I wondered if I ever would. Mother got mad at me, said some cruel things and I found a house for rent in downtown Fredericksburg on Douglas Street. Pickers Supply wasn't helping me make the living expenses and I imported a roommate named Peter, who was divorced and had a son that lived with his previous wife. Then entered my next job that lasted over 7 years, October 1st, 2000 until January 2nd, 2008. Aannandale was a line striping business in Dumfries.

Gas is $4.09 a gallon. I returned to Virginia, moving on with my life. Living with my Mom, until she threw a fit one day with me and I moved into the rented house in downtown Fredericksburg. Lindsay and I lived there for 4 years. In September of 2002, I contracted with a builder to build a brand new house 23 miles south of Fredericksburg. It's was a small house with three bedrooms and two baths but it was perfect for Lindsay and I. The cost was 112k.

I would like to feel that through all these years, with so many changes, in so many forms, that I've grown a bit wiser. But, my taste in men isn't the best taste at all. I had a Father that abandoned me, my first love was somewhat of a homosexual that never could make up his mind what he really wanted out of life, I lost Hook, who had a huge hold on my heart, I lost Larry Elliott because I myself couldn't understand how important he was. I've had Lincoln Hines, Lindsay's Father turn his back on me in pregnancy. A first husband with brain activity only in the head of his penis.

So I am sitting here recounting my full life. Why? I think my well being in the past few years has been drifting away. Those days of being young when

death unheard of and health not appreciated are gone. It's time to look over my full life and document everything. This is the history that I have made. It's more about love than money. Money doesn't seem to have been the most important thing. It's about life. My life. There is a beginning and there is a middle but there is no end.
January 2nd, 2008 was like no other day as I lost my job of almost 8 years. I'm a single parent of a 15 year old daughter and I do not get child support. I was a homeowner of 5 years and had never been late on a mortgage payment. I wasn't in debt though owed a few hundred dollars on credit. At the time I just thought, "go get another job". So the search began. But I had bought a house that I could afford but the location with gasoline peeking at over $4.00 a gallon was NOT a benefit. I lived in Virginia in between Richmond and Northern Virginia with over a 40 mile commute no matter which way I went, north or south. On February 19th, 2008 I was still unemployed and worried. I put my house on a market and resigned to the fact that I couldn't afford a house unemployed and I could not afford to live unemployed. Unemployment compensation didn't pay the monthly expenses. On February 2nd, 2008 I cashed out and received my 401k funds, it wasn't much but a sense of I'll make it took hold. By September 2008 I was still unemployed and about to crash and burn as I was still unemployed and the house hadn't sold. It was the first month that I could NOT make the mortgage payment. I had already collected 26 weeks of unemployment and Congress had passed a 13 week extension but I had not been prepared for the gap in receiving the checks that took 4 weeks to restart the funds coming again. I had set the price on the house and as months went by I had lowered the price again and again. At the end of September I had a contract on the house but the difference of what I had originally set the price at and what I ended up selling the house for was a whopping 51 thousand dollars less. Still unemployed by the end of October after much searching we had a closing date on the house and decided to leave the state of Virginia as I didn't want to live in Richmond and Northern Virginia was too expensive besides the fact that Richmond hadn't produced a job for me in 9 months. We had researched college towns in North Carolina and thought the cost of living there would be less as the houses if I ever could buy another would be less expensive. But as it happened we decided on moving to Charleston, South Carolina. On October 24th, 2008 we had packed a POD with the contents of the house and we got into the car and traveled to Charleston, SC with hopes that we could continue life in a city environment, be close in to everything and it was big enough to produce a job. We rented a house on October 28th, 2008 within the city limits and unloaded the computer packed into the car and I got right back in the search for a job, even before the POD had arrived to unpack our belongings. I had the proceeds of the house and again the sense of I'll make it took hold.

Thanksgiving came and I was still unemployed and knew that the holiday season was going to be a challenge in finding a job. I was a 57 year old woman with a set skill in accounting and couldn't find a job, though I'd been to six employment agencies in Virginia and three employment agencies in Charleston, even the agencies would not put me to working. Christmas came and celebrating was not the mood of the holiday, no gifts were bought this year. It is the end of January and I'm still unemployed but hope is still alive. I went to yet another employment agency today, that makes four thus far and job interviews have happened but still no full time employment. I haven't limited myself to full time, applying for part time too and have applied for anything within the accounting field and even had interviews outside accounting. Being over qualified or under qualified without a college degree and my age doesn't seem to help my cause. Congress voted another extension of unemployment and I received five weeks the middle of January. The house proceeds are half gone at this point. But all credit is paid in full and I do not owe anything but living expenses.

January 13th, 2009

I woke up this morning before 4am with feelings of non well being. What popped to my head immediately waking me up was health issues of a stroke or aneurysm and the guilt of Lindsay having to deal with it. Now if this is depression beating at my door I'm not sure. But I got up and took a shower and I'm sitting here emotionally wrecked as having a plan for such a thing for Lindsay to follow is way too much as at this time my life seems so out of control with being unemployed without health insurance that I personally don't know how to make things different in this situation let alone something as horrific as that health issue. The world as I know it leaves little that could be done in my mind to combat such a scenario. How do I plan for my own demise when I can't even get it together in living my life. I take that it's a serenity prayer of nothing I can do so I shouldn't dwell on it. My future is bleak at this moment and I'm feeling quite helpless.

I've been unemployed since January 2nd, 2008. I put the house at 277 Devon Drive, Ruther Glen, VA on the market on Feb 19th. Neither of these things has budged, producing an outcome. I'm 57 years old, haven't got a dimed saved. The 401k that was started has vanished to keep our household expenses going. It's the middle of July and I just had $786 in air conditioning repairs that blew up the time that I could survive. Oct 24th the house sold and we packed a POD and left the state of Virginia. We moved to Charleston, SC.

My Mother Died -- May 2nd, 2009 Wilda Kathryn Stone died in a nursing

home.
I drove up to Fredericksburg, VA from Charleston, SC on Wednesday because my Mother died and had to attend the funeral. I timed the drive for family night or wake as some call it perfectly, doing the drive of seven hours just short of an hour before it started. I went directly to my sister, Deb's house. When I arrived I walked into the house and was greeted by a long lost cousin Stephen. He looked at me and said we hadn't lost Wigs and I looked at him and said we hadn't lost Uncle Dick. We laughed and hugged. I changed clothes and we all left together for the family night, the start of my Mother's funeral. We arrived at the Funeral Home and went in. There were lots of people there already and I started hugging people and greeting them. I lost Stephen a few times during the evening but I looked for him and we would go out and smoke a cigarette together and then I'd go back inside and we would go at it again. More hugging and introducing Stephen to his other long lost relatives. We finally went over to look at my Mother. She looked more like Aunt Marie than herself as she had lost so much weight. It seemed her nose changed shape from my Granny Hetricks to more like Grandpa Hetricks and it just wasn't her. The shape of her face had changed because of the lost weight. But her fingers, hair, and hairline, forehead were definitely my Mom's. She had suffered greatly and I was glad to see her at peace for surely nothing could be much worse than what she went through here on earth in the end. There were so many people there. The Emigh's, generations of them. Charlotte, Sally, and their husbands, and their kids, and grandkids. Bill and Frances Houchins and Nickie were there. My son Richard and his family were there. A lot of people that I didn't even know, some were from workplaces that were there to support my siblings, or nieces and nephews. Some were church woman that Momma knew. And of course my siblings were all there. It was a grand turn out for sure. There has been some controversy in regards to my Mom and her funeral. She really didn't make anything clear but the burial plot was bought many years ago. Her husband was there already. She had two insurance policies. Everything was left to Andy and he had power of attorney and was pretty much left to control it all. But the controversy was that Andy didn't want to spend the money to bury my Mother instead wanting to just cremate her to save money. But that was never how anyone understood it as Momma had the burial plot, and insurance policies that should have covered the expenses. I was never let in on the budget of said money. Brother Andy was left 34 acres of prime real estate and even the means to make money on it to cover expenses. But he just wasn't willing to spend money on his own Mother and bury her as she wished beside her husband and Andy's Father. I was mad and upset about this. Never consulted or asked or questioned by Andy. So later in the evening when the funeral gentleman took Deb, Sam and I, in a room to sign off on this I refused. I had been told in advance and knew it was coming and I was quite mad about it. The night finally ended and Deb and her daughter Chrissy and Stephen and I went to get something to eat. We sat at the table and had a good time. We each ordered a drink. Stephen ordered a double Jack Daniels and in turn knowing that Jack Daniels was a great selection, I ordered a Jack and Coke. Oh I have

drank over time, some times more than others but really have not drank in years. So that Jack and Coke, my favorite, put my nose to itching. We ate a good dinner and Stephen had five doubles straight up. We said our good bye to Chrissy at the restaurant and went back to Deb's house where Stephen and I would be staying. We talked into the night. Finally getting some much needed sleep though it was very little sleep as we all got back up in maybe an hour as the Andy dilemma had me very upset. We talked some more and the three of us went back to sleep for a short three hours. That was not my normal sleep pattern but it would have to do. We woke up the next morning, got ready and went back to the Funeral Home. The service was at 10:30 and no doubt Debbie put a lot of effort into it and Mom was recognized in every level and it was a beautiful service. I had watched my brother Andy, my Mother's favorite son not shed one tear, nor did his wife Sharon, which only made me more livid. After the service we are following Deb to the grave site as Stephen wanted to see it. I was about to tell Stephen that I could guarantee that his own son Andy would not even make the effort to go to the grave sight but I didn't say it but I think Stephen read my mind and said it for me. Andy drove right past it in front of us and never stopped. Andy had been in front of every line of the service, and first behind the Limo with Mom's body in it but he would fail in his responsibility to bury my Mother beside her husband as she had wanted because he did not want to spend the money. I have been unemployed for 15 months and underemployed for a month now, brother Sam has had strokes and is on Social Security, and Deb is unemployed too, in this bad economy so taking on the expense of the extra two thousand plus dollars just could not be done by us. Andy was given everything, her pension came to him for 7 months, except for the 5 weeks she was in the nursing home. He was the total beneficiary in the will, with it expressed by my Mother, that nothing was to go to the other children. He had the means and money to bury her properly. After we left the cemetery, everyone was invited to Andy's for food. Deb and I choose not to go and stayed at her house and Deb fixed a meal up for anyone that was there. Stephen and Chrissy disappeared for a short while and finally returned with soda's for me, and a bottle of Jack Daniels for Stephen. We talked, looked at pictures with Stephen, ate some food, and enjoyed the rest of the day. Stephen drank the full bottle of Jack Daniels and was pretty lit. I watched him that afternoon, through the many things that happened. He came onto the back porch and was as livid as I was about brother Andy and yelled at the top of his voice "Andy you fucking prick" for all the kids who were there to hear. We didn't think about it as we knew Stephen was high as a kite. Later in the evening we were going to watch a movie and it was apparent that Stephen didn't want to watch as he was lit and was distracting everyone who wanted to watch the movie. I sat there and listened to him ramble with incoherent words, sentences that I didn't understand. Deb finally went to bed but wasn't able to sleep because of the commotion that was going on in the house with Stephen and Lindsay and Matthew. Deb came out and got Matthew and made him go to

bed. Stephen got mad and was going to leave. I went out into the parking lot and tried to talk with him. I was mad at Deb at this point and her behavior had not helped the situation. Stephen said something's that got me upset, I drew a line and told him so, and because of his lack of respect for me I told him I didn't want anything else to do with him. But I went to the house and sat on the steps to give him an opportunity to come talk with me. We sat there for over an hour and talked. I really like Stephen, though I don't know Stephen. My Mother loved Stephen and I know this as fact. So I hoped that a lesson could be learned from what had happened though out the day and I pointed out things that had gone wrong. We had been very close for 2 days and had talked a great deal with each other. I was extremely exhausted from lack of sleep from the previous night. But I sat there and hoped that what I said would help Stephen. The respect issue, and the responsibility on his part as far as being an adult. He told me things that stunned me about family secrets. I felt close to him because Deb and I had endured a lot in our own childhood because of parents that did not have a lick of sense, and respect for themselves or their children. But there comes a time when we as adults can't blame the world for problems that are now our responsibility to bear as adults. He has to respect himself and he doesn't. I had hoped that Stephen would sober up but he fought me on respect issues that were no brainers and I kept talking. It was midnight at this point and Stephen had not drank since it was still light outside, which would have been before 9pm. He told me he doesn't sleep much and I told him he needed to respect others that needed to sleep. He ended the conversation very negatively with a nice to meet you and got up and walked into the house. I buried my Mother that day, I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. I was over all the controversy that was going on with Andy and Stephen. I will take responsibility for what happened as it was definitely my fault. Stephen is a big boy, he's an adult, but I watched him disrespect everyone with his actions for a period of time that was long enough for me to want to get away from it. And I did. And right now I want you to know I care about Stephen. I know about being mixed up, I know about lack of self esteem, I know that age has nothing to do with it that those events that happen within a family effect you forever, it don't go away and age doesn't matter. I'm 58 years old and still to this day have to deal with those things my parents should be ashamed of themselves for putting their own children though in life. What you say and do cannot be taken back and haunt those that have to endure them.

I survived one full year in the rented house at 748 W. Westchester Drive in Charleston and have rented a two bedroom apartment. Still unemployed but have had 3 clients doing bookkeeping. There is a depression in our country though they never call it a depression as it is called a recession. Times are tough, no jobs to be found and age could be a factor for me. I found a job in July and started working on the 6th but it ended on January 6th and I am once again unemployed.

In December of 2010, Lindsay and I had a small traveling vacation and drove through Florida to the Keys. We spent 3 nights in motels and came home on the 4th night. It was a wonderful time for us. We spent the second night in a motel in Key Largo. We had a wonderful dinner at an attached Japanese restaurant that we brought back to a really nice motel room and ate. We saw the sun set over the water and spent time at the water's edge the next morning. We drove north through Miami and traveled through South Beach just heading north. We spent the night in Coco Beach and traveled through Daytona and into St. Augustine on our last day, getting home after dark.

January 4th, 2011 finds me unemployed once again. May 30th, 2011 found us making a trip to Savannah, Georgia to visit a
friend from long ago. Pamela J Nicholson Guthrie, or PJ as we called her. Lindsay is graduating from high school this June 2nd, 2011. My sister Deb is coming along with Matt, Kendall, and Chrissy. Lindsay has been accepted at Oxford College of Emory University and will be at the college on August 18th as a dorm student. She has received a full scholarship with room and board and I can only hope that I can provide my own room and board at this point, so I am glad that she will be taken care of as I can hardly take care of myself at this point. My life and future seems unknown. Whether to make a change or stay where I am is of concern. I have two clients that I do bookkeeping for but could do that bookkeeping anywhere if those clients would agree to it.

July 23, 2011 We are packing up for the move and have rented a
studio apartment in Conyers, GA. I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to pick out things that mean the most and leave behind those things that mean little to me as moving is going to become too hard for me to do in the future.

August 10, 2011 The move is complete. I have gotten in touch with
some very old friends and realize just how short life is as I look back and can only remember little snips of time gone by. People have died, and children are grown.

August 19, 2011 To Oxford College to move Lindsay into dorms. An

exciting day for Lindsay. I came home and tried to fix the apartment up. My wrists and hands have been painful since the move.

August 20, 2011 Went to Oxford and took Lindsay to Wal-mart. I paid
and I really shouldn't have because it appears finances are totally separated between Lindsay and I. She is definitely on her own as I get a true sense of it. Perception is a funny thing as you age. I wonder if cursing parents at the ripe old age of 60 is allowed. They didn't watch over me and wondering also if it was me or them, and the same goes for Lindsay and I. What influence did I have over her or did she really get to where she is because of her alone. This opportunity at Oxford is such a wonderful thing, at 60 I only wish I would have had that opportunity. Instead I was a mixed up kid from parental abuse. I guess you take the cards your dealt and go with them. I have made this Facebook Group for the Family. There are 48 of us so far. Lots of old pictures. Almost September and I am depressed. Nothing seems to matter. I'm tired of this three year reign of terror on myself with unemployment. Guess I'd better hope that today goes away. And of course it doesn't help that I have been sick for a few days. Upper respiratory again, three times, May, June and August. Breathing is not easy, gasping for air worries me.

September 6th - Sign of the times, wear clothes at least 2-3 days
because you have to wash them eventually and that cost money. I just thought of all the days that I cried way back upon losing my two sons and what I have ended up with in my old age, one son that stays in prison and the other one won't talk to me, does not respect me, and is not decent at all. Those tears were wasted tears as I see it these many years past. My life is in danger, I signed the emergency unemployment with a 10k fine and five years in prison to survive. I have spent three years barely surviving

and the apartment in Charleston sent my refund unsigned and I mailed it back for signature only to sit here waiting one month so far to get it returned. Food stamps gave me $30 to buy food thinking I was bringing in $326 in unemployment and I've really only been getting $107 a week. There is no way to bring my living expenses down any further, they are appox 1k a month, without food and well the struggle to keep a roof over my head is daunting. Ah but the social services are counting the $326 and not the $107 as something with their system is out of whack, a federal program, administered by the state of Georgia that allows such nonsense. So no food stamps in this state. All jobs at this point are demanding a college degree so my field is closed tight for me and I'm not sure how to combat it? Feeling very uneasy at this point, two more unemployment checks made it to bank account but they are only $107 and was hoping it would revert back to $326 again. I cannot fight city hall, though I was told I would get the $326. Job interview Sept 22nd at Sharp Shooters in Roswell and it gave me hope. Another one a week from today in Conyers, very close to apartment. Today I faced the intensity of my credit score, it is not the value that I have as a person. To hold it over employment is unjust. November 15th, there are times as today that I feel there is really nothing to live for as my life has nothing happening. No work, no money, and day after day is the same. At least working with a job it is something.

November 20th, 2011

Thomas C Luke (07/15/1928 - 09/03/2002. His parents were Bella Katherine Zimmerman Luke (1895-1977), and Noble Harry Wilmer Luke(02/06/1894 - 05/19/1964). Bella's parents were Jackson Monroe Zimmerman and Valeria Jane White

Noble's parents were Laird Maclin Luke and Margaret Catherine Reed. Grandfather was John Reed. Grandmother was Elizabeth Jane Boyle. Looking at pictures of myself when I was younger and I wonder who was that person? Remembering back that far is a chore.
Dear Dad, Today is Fathers Day and it reminds me that you exist, though I don't know where you are. You were in my life for but a tiny moment but that moment shaped my soul, my being, with an attitude that I wish I did not have. Dad you were my first encounter with men and though you never sexually abused me, the abuse you did put forth left me sad and burdened. The memories I have do not contribute positive light in this world for men. But I remind myself that there are Fathers who deserve this day of days to be recognized. Those that love their children and act accordingly. Those that have wisdom and share that wisdom with time spent with those they love. Those that are kind and put forth kindness. There are Fathers that are brave, beyond brave that do not cower from their responsibilities. What my life might have been if you would have been one of those men, I will never know.

January 2012
Disability has happened lessening the stress of making living expenses. Though I made a lot of money in January as I did not know it would become a positive result with the disability.

February 2012
Settling into not worrying about finding a job, making living expenses but one problem still exists, medical care. I think I fractured some ribs and it's been very painful with lack of sleep.

March 2012
Music, literature, art? Which shall it be?

April 2012

A way of life at this point seems to confuse me. Sitting at the computer daily isn't fulfilling me. Smoking cigarettes is giving me displeasure and I know not helping my health. The addiction is stronger than health disaster. Time effortlessly goes by. October 10, 2012 Disability kicked in January 2012 and I have been retired. It was a great summer and Lindsay and I swam in the pool 5-6 times a week. We did Nashville twice and the second time did two horse shows. We did Virginia in between the Nashville trips and well what can I say, it was a total success. I did meet Denise as Deb and I went to Atlantic City but they high rolled it to death and I ended up really mad. December 2012 Hands have limited my activity and are even starting to hurt with this keyboarding. How I wish I had it in me to talk about my sister. But according to my daughter, my perceptions are whacked out. It's me, purely me and the depression.