Revision Station 1Using active voice As a writer you want to try and use specific, action verbs whenever

possible. Many times writers revert to passive voice because it is easy. Passive voice is the excessive use of the verb to be.
Is Was Were Be, being, been, etc.

Look over your draft. Place a star sticker over each use of a passive verb. For example
BEFORE

English 11 is my all time favorite class! English 11 is my all time favorite class! Try to revise with an active verb.
AFTER

English 11, my favorite class, taught me a lot about writing.

Revision Station 2Revising for more sophisticated diction. Use a pink highlighter to mark words you believe you can find a more sophisticated, specific term or phrase to use. For example
BEFORE

She cried when she found out that her money had been stolen.
AFTER

She wailed upon the discovery that the money had been stolen.

Revision Station 3Introduction

Quality introductions on longer essays include the following elements:

1. 2. 3.

a thesis blueprint or overview of the paper introductory material

With your pen or pencil, mark your introductory paragraph to ensure you have all three parts.

If you do not find all three elements present, add a sticky note to help you determine what to write or brainstorm elements to add.

For example
BEFORE

Shall I Compare Thee to a Summers Day is a sonnet by William Shakespeare. He uses figurative devices to get to the message about how love will last forever.
Introductor y material
AFTER

William Shakespeare is known for writing sonnets about the topic of love. Most of his 154 poems cover the positive and negative aspects of love. His of nature imagery and use symbolism enable the reader to fully understand his message. In his famous sonnet Shall I Compare Thee To a Summers Day, he uses an extended metaphor with multiple points to demonstrate how his love will last eternally through the poem.

Revision Station FourAppropriate use of specific examples

In a body paragraph a writer needs to make sure that all the examples and details support the point or focus of the paragraph. Otherwise the point is lost to the reader. Re-read each body paragraph and do the following: 1. Circle the point of the paragraph. 2. Use a blue highlighter to mark your examples/support. 3. Cross out any detail or example that does not support the point of the paragraph. BEFORE Sara is definitely a person who has taught me a lot about being a friend. Sara is very tall and always wears this crazy purple hat. It makes people laugh, but she doesnt mind. Last year when I had a bad cold, she had all of my friends sign a card for me, which she delivered along with a huge jug of orange juice and 5 cans of chicken noodle soup. AFTER Sara is definitely a person who has taught me a lot about being a friend. Last year when I had a bad cold, she had all of my friends sign a card for me, which she delivered along with a huge jug of orange juice and 5 cans of chicken noodle soup. Her actions show me how concerned she was for me.

Revision Station 5Organizational transitions

Revision Task

Use a yellow highlighter to mark transitions you use to move from one point to the next in your BCR. If you dont have an organizational transition between points, find a word to ADD. Be sure to AVOID phrases like An example I found is. One example is Example Before In To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet the use of literary elements creates the theme of how love can not die. One element used is hyperbole. The speaker in the poem says her husbands love is prized more than whole mines of gold. This exaggerates the speakers devotion to her husband and better portrays her love for him. Another literary device used is rhyme. The rhyme used throughout the poem gives the reader a sense of a romantic song-like poem. Repetition is another literary element that is used to begin the poem. The first three lines of the poem are started out with the words If ever. These three statements help to tell the reader that if ever a couple was the most devoted to each other, it would be her and her husband. The literary elements throughout the poem that create a feeling of romanticism, bring across Bradstreets theme of undying love. After In To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet the use of literary elements creates the theme of how love can not die. Bradstreet uses hyperbole in her poem. The speaker of the poem says her husbands love is prized more than whole mines of gold. This exaggerates the speakers devotion to her husband and better portrays her love for him. Another literary device used is rhyme. The rhyme used throughout the poem gives the reader a sense of a romantic song-like poem. Finally, repetition is another literary element that is used to begin the poem. The first three lines of the poem are started out with the words If ever. These three statements help to tell the reader that if ever a couple was the most devoted to each other, it would be her and her husband. The literary elements throughout the poem that create a feeling of romanticism, bring across Bradstreets theme of undying love.

Step 1: Double Check your heading and Works Cited! It should look exactly like these! Now, make the LEAP!
Hop and put your
FIRST

sentence in your conclusion!)

on over to your conclusion a FROGGY STICKER next to restated thesis! (hint: it should be the

If

ADD it in!

you dont have a restated thesis statement HOP, HOP back over to your introduction and reexamine your thesis so you can