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WORKBOOK: Review and Exercises

WhyBarackObama?
WhetheryouvotedforBarackObamaornot,itshard toignoretheskillandpassionwithwhichhedelivered hismessage.ThisinstructionalDVDisstrictlynon partisanwithregardtopolicyorpolitics,butdecidedly proObama(andproRonaldReagan,FranklinDelano RooseveltandJohnF.Kennedy)whenitcomestothe abilitytocommunicatepowerfullyandeffectively.No politicalpersuasionhasacorneronpowerfulspeaking. JohnF.Kennedymovedanationwiththeforceand convictionofhisinaugural address;someofthephraseshe usedstillinspireourthinkingand speaking.RonaldReaganearnedhisnickname,TheGreat Communicator,bymakinglistenersfeelasthoughhewere speakingdirectlytothemalone,bringingthemintotheinner circleofhisthoughts.FranklinD. Rooseveltheldacountrytogether throughtheDepressionatleastpartly throughthereassuringcommunicationsofhisfamous FiresideChats. Therearegreatspeakersineverywalkoflife.Oprah Winfreyrosetofameatleastpartlyonherwillingnessto revealherfeelingsandvoiceheropinionsfranklyand unashamedly.BillyGrahamwasaforceinthepublicconsciousnessforoverhalfa centurybasedonthepowerofhisoratoryasmuchashisreligiousconviction.Singers frompoptocountrytorapcredittheirsuccesstothepoweroftheiremotional connectiontotheiraudienceandtheirfansperceptionthattheseperformersspeaka truthrelevanttotheirownlives. Legendarycommunicatorsineveryfield owetheirsuccess,whethertheyareaware ofitornot,totheirapplicationofthe5 SecretsofEffectiveCommunication.I havechosenPresidentBarackObamaand hisspeechesastheexampletoillustrate thesesecretsforseveralreasons:

Hehashadtremendouspublicexposureoverthepastmonthsandyearsand isfirmlyinthepublicconsciousness.Youwillbeabletofindmanyexamples ofhisspeakingpowerbeyondthevideoexcerptsonthisDVD. Whilemanypoliticianshavebeengreatcommunicators,PresidentObamas meteoricrisefromrelativeunknowntothemostpowerfulgovernment figureontheplanetisunprecedented.Idemonstratehowhisbringing togetherallofthe5Secretscontributedtothis. HeisthepersonificationofamythicdreamembeddedintheAmerican consciousness:thatanyone,nomatterhowhumbletheirorigins,canbecome PresidentoftheUnitedStates.Inkeepingwiththisspirit,Ishowyouhow anyonecanbecomeamoreeffectivespeakerintheirbusinessorpersonallife bymasteringthe5Secrets.

HowtousetheDVDandWorkbook
WelcometoThe5CommunicationSecretsThatSweptObamato thePresidency,aninstructionalcoursedesignedtoincreasethe powerandeffectivenessofyourpersonalandpublicspeaking. Whileyouarefreetodiscoveryourownpaththroughlearning the5Secrets,herearesomesuggestionsonhowtoincreasethe speedandeffectivenesswithwhichyoudevelopyourskills. Watchthevideoallthewaythroughinarelaxedsetting, withoutworryingaboutretainingtheinformationor techniques.Thisallowsyoutoabsorbthesenseofthe5 5Secretscreator RichardGreene SecretsandexperiencethepowerofPresidentBarack Obamasspeechesfreeofanypressuretoperformina learningmode.Youmightevenwatchitwithsomeoneelseandtalkaboutwhichof Obamasspeechesaffectedyouthemost,andwhy. Nowrollupyoursleevesandgetdowntowork.Workthroughtheinstructional courseonelessonatatime.Takewhatevertimeyouneed,pausingandrereadingthe screentext,rewindingandnoticingthetextreinforcementsunderthespeechvideos. Thisisyourcourseandyoushouldmovethroughitatapacethatworksforyou. Attheendofeachsectionisaremindertogotothisworkbook.Hereyouwillfinda reviewoftheSecretyoujustsawinthevideocourse.Afterreadingthat,trythe exercisesdesignedtohelpyoupractice,experienceandmastertheseskills.Thenmove ontothenextlessoninthevideo. Moveatyourownpaceandfeelfreetorepeatanylessonsyoulike. Onceyouvecompletedthecourse,gobackthroughthevideoandreexperience PresidentObamasspeeches.Lookforthewaysheusesallthe5Secretseachtimehe speaks. Watchforotherexamplesofsuccessesandfailingsincommunicationinpublic speakers,TVinterviews,talkshowsandinyourbusinessandpersonallife.Asyou becomefamiliarwiththe5Secrets,youllfindthatyourawarenessoftheseexamplesall aroundyouwillreinforcetheskillsyouaredeveloping. Asyoubeginapplyingyournewskillsinyourlife,noticetheeffectstheyhaveonyour careerandpersonalrelationships.Thispositivereinforcementisoneofthemost powerfulincentivestocontinuingthepracticeandimprovementofthecommunication techniquesyouhavelearned.

PLEASE NOTE: this is an extensive workbook designed to meet your every need in mastering all the 5 Secrets techniques. But you will become a more effective communicator if you learn even one of these skills. So advance at your own speed and, if you want encouragement to move forward, just give your new speaking abilities a trial run in your life. 4

Secret#1
CaptivatelistenerswithWords, VoiceToneandBodyLanguage
TheSecret Theworldsgreatestcommunicatorsknowthatpeople arepersuaded,peoplearemovedandpeopleactbasedonmorethanwordsalone.Theyknow thatitistheeffectiveuseofallthreeavenuesofhumancommunicationthatdrivesgreat communication. 1. In your communications, individually and to groups, the nonverbal aspects aremuchmoreimpactfulthantheactualwordsthatyousay. 2. Clients, customers, associates, family members and friends and everyone you everinteractwitharehighlyaffectedbythetoneofyourvoiceandyourbody language. These nonverbal aspects communicate the crucial qualities of sincerityandconvictionaswellasmanyotherattributesthatallowthelistener totrustyou,likeyouandevenbeopentoyou. 3. Thethreewaysthathumanbeingscommunicate...theonlythreeways...are byWORDS,VOICETONEandBODYLANGUAGE 4. Studieshaveputtheimpactofvoicetoneashighas38%,theimpactofbody languageashighas55%andtheimpactofoneswords...aslowas7%! 5. Inordertobeoptimallyeffectiveinsending,andsellingonesmessage,inany context,youmustmasterthefollowingcomponentsofVoiceTone: a. b. c. d. e. f. g. VarytheSpeedfastandslow,slowforemphasis VarytheVolumeloudandsoft,softforemphasis VarythePitchhighandlow,lowforemphasisandimpact PuncTuAtionbyWord PuncTuAtionbySyllable Pause...Pause...Pause DeveloptheResonanceofyourvoice

h. Inordertobeoptimallyeffectiveinsending,andsellingonesmessage,a speakermustmasterthefollowingcomponentsofBodyLanguage: Posture:standuptall Posture:shouldersupandsquare Posture:alwaysbecentered,whetherstillormoving Gestures:Usedownwardmotionstoplantyourideasfirmly Gestures:GesturewithinThePowerZonebetweentheshouldersto conveystrengthandauthority EyeContact:sendyourmessagethroughyoureyesintotheirs! Connectwithbylisteningto! Stayinacenteredspaceofcalmandstabilityinordertorecoverquickly

ExercisesWords
Words, while generating only 7% of the impact of your presentation, are very important.WewilltalkaboutwordsinmoredepthinSecret#2(Lasered,Compelling Messages). Here, though, I want to help you focus on eliminating the two biggest mistakesthatmyclientsmakewiththeirchoiceofwords: Mistake #1: Using abstract language as opposed to concrete, sensory specific words andphrases.Ifyouspeakintheabstract,listenerswillbeusingtheirtimeandenergy fillingintheblanksinsteadofabsorbingthesenseofyourmessage. Mistake #2: Using jargon, or specialized words unavailable to the average listener, insteadofplainspeakandeasilyaccessibleterms.Ifyouusejargon,listenerswillbe tryingtodecipherthemeaningofyourlanguageinsteadofrespondingtothepower ofyourcommunication 1. Abstractvs.SensorySpecificExercise Picktwopagesofaspeechorsomethingelsethatyouarewritingorhavewritten. With each sentence ask the following questions: Is it tangible? Can I see, hear, taste, smell or touch/feel what is being described? Wherever your answer is yes,youareusingSENSORYSPECIFICsentences. Howmanyofthesesentencesaresensoryspecific?__________________

Now, count the sentences where the meaning relies on understanding or interpreting or translating ABSTRACT words or phrases, i.e., words or phrases thathavetobetranslatedintosomethingyoucanseeorhearortasteorsmellor touch? Howmanyofthesesentencesareabstract?_____________________ Whichismore?__________________ Ideallyyouwant to haveZEROabstract sentences.This removestheburden of your audiences having to translate abstract into sensory specific one of the biggest reasons why audiences get tired and tune out during a talk. If they are workingtofigureoutwhatyourwordsmean,theyaremissingthepowerofwhat youareworkingtocommunicate.Attheverymost,youshouldhave10%abstract and the rest clear, vivid sentences. If you have more than that, make changing thisbalanceapriority. 2. Jargon Unless you are speaking exclusively to an audience that fully understands the jargonthatyouspeakaswellasorevenbetterthanyou,youshouldNEVERuseit. So, any words that are specific to your work or profession or area of expertise that are not normally understood by the general public should be eliminated completely.Thekeyistofindwaysofexpressingthosewordsinplain,everyday languageanyonecan understand.Evenifyour audience understands the jargon youaretemptedtouse,reexpressinginnewlanguagethattheyarefamiliarwith mayawakenthemtonewpossibilities. Check your entire presentation for jargon words. How many do you have? __________ Foreachjargonword,comeupwithauserfriendlywordorphrasetoconveythe same meaning. Where absolutely necessary, explain the jargon in the same sentenceorparagraphsothatyouraudienceisneverlefttryingtofigureitouton theirown!

ExercisesVoiceTone
Mastering your ability to use your voice is one of the quickest, easiest and most effectivewaystoimproveyourpowertoswayandmotivatelisteners.Justalittlebit ofpracticewiththese7aspectsofvoicetonewillyieldtangibleandprofoundresults. Forthefollowingexercises,findapageinaspeechthatyouhavegiven,apageina book, or an article in a newspaper or magazine. You are going to read these selections aloud in different ways. If possible, record your voice so you can play it backandnotethedifferenceintheeffectivenessofeachapproach. 1.VarytheSpeed a. Readyourselectionoutloudatanormalpace. b. Readyourselectionoutloudasfastasyoucan. c. Readyourselectionoutloudasslowasyoucan. d. Now,readyourselectionoutloudgoinggraduallyfromasfastasyoucan toasslowasyoucanandbackagain. e. Herestherealtest. ..readyourselectionout loud,fast, normalor slow, dependingonthecontent: Ifitisofnormalimportancereadatanormalpace. Ifitisoflowimportance,readyquickly. Ifthephrasesorsentencesarebuildingtosomeconclusionorclimax,also readquickly. Ifisofveryhighimportance,shiftgearsandreadveryslowly. Varying the speed lets you act like a guide on a tour. The pace tells your listenerwhattolookatandhowimportantitis. 2.VarytheVolume a. Readyourselectionoutloudatanormalvolume. b. Readyourselectionoutloudasloudasyoucan. c. Readyourselectionoutloudassoftlyasyoucan. d. Now,readyourselectionoutloudgoinggraduallyfromasloudasyoucan toassoftlyasyoucanandbackagain e. Herestherealtest...readyourselectionoutloudasloudasyoucanoras softlyasyoucan,dependingonthecontent:

Ifitisofnormalimportancereadatanormalvolume. Ifitisoflowimportance,readatanormalvolume. If the phrases or sentences are building to some conclusion or climax, readwithincreasingvolume Ifisofveryhighimportance,readveryloudlyorverysoftly. Varyingthevolumeletsyoudirectthelistenersattentionandemphasizewhat is important. If they hear your volume go up or go down, they know somethingofparticularimportanceisbeingsaid. 3.VarythePitch(highordeep) a. Readyourselectionoutloudatanormalpitch. b. Readyourselectionoutloudataveryhighpitch. c. Readyourselectionoutloudataverylowpitch. d. Now,readyourselectionoutloudgoinggraduallyfromashighasyoucan toaslowasyoucanandbackagain. e. Nowstherealtest...readyourselectionoutloudinahigh,normalorlow pitch,dependingonthecontent: Ifitisoflowornormalimportancereadwithlittlevariationinpitch. Ifthephrasesorsentencesarebuildingtosomeconclusionorclimaxor ifitisofveryhighimportance,readwithasignificantvariationinpitch. Variedpitchisawakeupcalltoyouraudience.Ifyouvaryyourpitch,you aretuningthemintofocuscarefullyonwhatisbeingsaid. 4.PunctuationbyWord Readyourselectiontoyourselfandpickawordineachof3sentencesthatyoufeel deservestobehighlighted.Thenreadthose3sentencespunctuatingthatentire word. 5. PunctuationbySyllable Readyourselectiontoyourselfandpickawordineachof3sentencesthatyoufeel deservestobehighlighted.Thenreadthose3sentencespunctuating,separately, eachofthesyllablesinthosewords.Ifthemostimportantwordsinthatsentence only have one syllable, try to literally turn it into a multisyllable word. For example,thewordFIRSThasonlyonesyllablebutbypunctuationtheFsounda littlebitdifferentlythattheIRST(FIRST)youmightbeabletogiveevenmore 9

impact to it. (This is one of the charms of the Southern accent in The United States.) 6. Pause...Pause...Pause Thisistheskillthatturnsexcellentcommunicatorsintotrulygreatcommunicators. A welltimed pause can, more than just about anything else a speaker might do, instantly shift the energy in a room, create a sense of drama, increase the engagement of the entire audience and position you as someone who is in completecommand. Itis,however,theoneskillthatmyclientsgenerallyfindtobethemostdifficult. Thatismainlybecausepeopledontunderstandwhatapausereallyis. ApauseisNOTsimplytheactofstoppingtalking.ItisNOTlikepullingbackon the reins of a galloping horse. It is NOT standing still, alone in front of a room soakingintheanxiousstaresoftheaudience. ApauseIStheopportunityforacommunicatortogomoredeeplyinsideofhisor herself.Anditistheprocessofdeepeningthatcreatesthedramaandtransforms the audience. It is creating a suspenseful tension that builds anticipation for whatfollowsthepause. The ONLY way to do this, though, is to immerse yourself fully in what you are talkingabout.Butyoushouldbedoingthisanyway.Forexample,bysayingthe sentence, Pausing will profoundly increase your impact on any audience like this... Pausing...willproFOUNDly...increaseyourimpact...onANYaudience youtakearoutinesentenceandturnitintosomethingthatwillcaptivate. Notice the interrelationship between pausing and punctuating. This is one of thegreatsecretsofmasteringthepause.Sayingthewordprofoundlywithout punctuation makes it almost awkward to use the pause. Saying the word profoundlywithpunctuation,however,createsafantasticmomentumthatsets upthepauseperfectly. Heresanother,evensimplersentence.Wemustmakethishappen,spokenas WE...MUST...MAKE...THIS...HAPPEN! 10

Ifyouarealreadyataplacewhereyoufeelthesewordsdeeply,youcanmakethis work. If not, it WILL feel awkward. So, instead of fighting the idea of pausing, useittoforceyouevendeeperintoyourownspeech.

ExercisePause
a. Saythesetwosentencesnormally. Pausingwillprofoundlyincreaseyourimpactonanyaudience Wemustmakethishappen b. Now,PUNCTUATEthekeywordsinthosesentences. c. Andnow,PAUSEaftereachwordthatyoupunctuate. d. Tryitagain,andagain,untilyouFEELthatthepunctuationandthe pausearenolongeratechniquebutratheraperfectexpressionofyour depthoffeelingconnectedtoeachsentence. 7. IncreaseYourResonance Ive saved Resonance for a separate discussion because of all the elements of speaking effectively, Resonance may seem like the one least responsive to improvementorpractice.Afterall,yourvoiceisyourvoice,right?Howdoyou changeaqualitythatisinherenttowhoyouare? Thetruthis,theResonanceofyourvoicecanbebothimprovedandprotectedso youwillbemoreimpressiveinyourcommunication.Alittleexplorationofwhat createsresonanceishelpful. Resonance is produced when a sounds vibrations are enhanced by the space through which it travels. To demonstrate this, step into a crowded closet and closethedoor.Thenspeakaloudandnoticehowsmallyourvoiceseemsandhow itspowerdropsoffimmediately. Now go into a large bathroom and speak aloud. Notice how your voice seems fullerandthesoundlastslonger.Theresareasonwhypeopleliketosinginthe shower! While the initial depth and timbre of your voice is a good starting place for Resonance,thespacesthroughwhichittravelsenhanceitspower.Peoplethink

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ofabooming,powerfulvoiceascomingfromthechest,butthechesthaslittleto dowith resonance,becauseisitbelowyour vocalchords.Sound travelsup and out, so the upper passages are more important. These include the pharynx (the backofyourthroat),youroralcavity(mouth)andyournasalcavity(nose). TheVocalCords Howdoesknowingthishelpyouincreaseyourresonance?Letsbeginwherethe sound begins. Your vocal cords are muscular foldsin your larynx that produce vibrationswhenairisforcedoverthem.Ifthecordsarelengthenedandtightened, theyproducefastervibrationsandhighersounds.Iftheyaremorerelaxed,they producedeeper,richersounds. Thekeyhereisrelaxed.Stressandtensionactonthevocalcordsliketheydoon muscles around the body: they cause them to tighten, so it is more difficult to produce deep, rich sound. Relaxing, through vocal exercises and calming exercises, allows you to create greater resonance. Its interesting to note that following the 5 Secrets guidelines for Body Language helps enhance your Resonance!Ifyoustandstraight,squareyourshouldersandstaycenteredand calm,youhelpyourvocalcordsstaymorerelaxed. Youcanalsodospecificexercisestodeepenyourvoice.Thesimplestistopractice speaking in a deeper tone to develop a sense of how your body feelswhen you arespeakingresonantly.Doingsoinfrontofamirrorletsyouseetheposturethat producesmoreresonance.Andstayingrelaxedallowsyoutoretainwhatpractice hasproduced,ratherthanlapsingbackintoalessresonantvoice. Practicingspeakingaloudhelpsinanotherway.Ifyouvebeentoasportsevent whereyouscreamedandrootedforateamforovertwohours,youmayremember thatyourvoicesoundedraspyandweakafterward.(Youmightevenloseyour voice for a time!) Overuse of your voice can negatively affect it. So how do publicspeakersandsingerskeeponproducingsoundforhoursonend?Howdo heavymetalsingersscreamatthetopoftheirlungsthroughatwohourconcert? (Did you know that some have screaming coaches?!) They practice, practice, practice. Like any muscle in the body, those in your vocal apparatus can be strengthenedandtoned.Domorespeakingfromacalm,relaxedplace,andyour vocaltoneandabilitywillimprove.

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TheResonantChambers Soonceyoucreatedasoundwithyourvocalcords,whatcanyoudoaboutitasit travelsthroughtheresonantchambersthroat,mouthandnosetoincreaseyour resonance? The most effective way to ensure good resonance is to keep these chambersandyourvocalcordsingoodhealth.Thereareseveralwaystodo this: Stay Hydrated, Part 1 the tissues in your larynx and the resonating chambers are very moist. Becoming dehydrated can seriously impair their abilitytoproduceandsupportaresonantvoice.Sobesuretogetplentyof waterintoyoursystematleast64ouncesaday. StayHydrated,Part2antihistaminesaredryingagentsandcannegatively affectyourvoice.Also,caffeineandalcoholarediureticswhichcandeplete yourbodyofwater.Ifyouhaveanoccasionwhereyouplantospeak,tryto avoidallofthese.Ifthatisntpossible,drinkanextraglassofwaterforeach glassofalcoholicorcaffeinatedbeverageyouconsume. StayCalmpracticerelaxationexercises(evenmeditation)beforespeaking. (Seeexamplesbelow.)Practiceandreviewwhatyouaregoingtosaysoyou areconfident,ratherthantense,asyoubeginyourcommunication. Stay Protected avoid excessive throat clearing, coughing, yelling, screaming or prolonged loud talking. They can damage your vocal apparatus.(Rememberthesportseventabove?) Stay Fit warm up your voice before a speaking occasion. (See exercise below.)Getenoughsleepandexerciseyourentirebody,sincethatcanaffect allthemechanismsinvolvedinspeaking,aswellasyourabilitytorelaxand staycalm. Stay Natural while I spoke above about practicing speaking in a deeper voice, you should avoid forcing yourself into a deeper register than natural whenyouarecommunicatingoutsideofyourspeakingexercises.Thatkind ofunnaturalspeechcanimpairyourvocalcordsandmakeyousoundforced and awkward. Always speak in a pitch natural to your voice. Let your exercisesandpracticesessionsnaturallyincreaseyourvocalrangeovertime. Whilemanyofthetipsaboveappearfocusedonmoreformalspeakingoccasions,they can contribute to your complete ability to communicate in any situation, from the mostpublictothemostintimate.Theobjectofthemallistoincreasethepowerof yourvoicetoconveywhatyoufeelandwhatyouwant.

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ResonanceExercises
Ifyouarepreparingtospeakinpublic,atabusinessmeeting,orknowyouhavea significantpersonalconversationcomingup,youcandospecificexercisestorelax andlimberupyourvocalapparatus. First,focusonrelaxingyourtongueandlettingitrestinthebackofyour teeth. Saythefollowingaloud10times,consciouslyexaggeratingyourfacial movements:Oooaahheee,oooaahheee.Noticethattheshapeofyourlips andyourmouthsinteriorchangesgreatlyasyoumovefromonesoundto theother.Thisexerciseisflexingagreatnumberoffacialandoralmuscles, buildingstrengthandstretchingthemjustlikeanathletestretcheshisorher bodymusclesbeforeanevent. Nowrepeatthefollowing10times:Meooome,meooomee.Dontworryif youthinkyouresoundingliketheWickedWitchsguardmarchinginThe WizardofOz!Whatyouareactuallydoingisrangingfromcompressing yourlipstostretchingthem,againincreasingyourrelaxation. Nowbeginhumminginaseriesofnotesrangingfromlowtohighandback again.Thishelpsyoufocusontheexperienceofcreatingresonanceinside yourbodystructure. Finally,spendafewmomentsinsilence,breathingslowlyandsteadily, perhapswithyoureyesclosed.Theobjectistorelaxandcenteryourself.If youhaveafavoritemeditationtechnique,practiceit.Perhapsyoucan visualizeyourselfonaquiettropicalbeach,watchingthewaveslap peacefully,rhythmicallyonthesand,ornoticingthebreezemovethefronds ofapalmtreeslowlybackandforth. AdditionalExercises Professionalspeakersandvocalartistsallhavetheirfavoritemethodsofexercising andrelaxingtheirvocalmechanisms.Beloworsomeothersforyoutotryand choosefrom. MakeabirdsoundbytrillingtheletterR.Youdothisbyplacingyour tongueagainstthehardpalatejustbehindyourupperteethwhilemakingan extendedrsound.Whendonecorrectly,thetipofyourtonguewillflutter rapidly,makingasoundlikeajunglebird(orlikeasmallchildmaking powerboatnoises!) Flutteryourlipsbyrelaxingthemwhileholdingyoujawtogether,pressing yourtongueflatlyagainsttheroofofyourmouthandforcingairoutpast

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yourlips.Donecorrectly,yourlipswillflaprapidly,againmakingapower boatsound.(Thinkofthenoisesyoumakeentertainingababy!) Flutteryourtongueinthebackofyourmouthbyrepeatedlyflatteningand wideningitsotheedgesofyourtonguepressagainsttheinsideofyourback teeth. Usingavarietyofsounds(aaah,eee,ooo,ohh),sirenyourpitchupanddown totheextremesofyourvocalrange. Yawnwidely,soyoucanfeelyoursoftpalatestretching. Pressthefrontofyourcheekstogetherwithyourhands,squishingyourlips togetherinafishmouthandspeakaloud.

ExercisesBodyLanguage
Oneofthegreatthingsaboutbodylanguageisthatitistheretobeobservedvirtually anywhereyouturn.Letstakeadvantageofthat. 1.Overthenext7days,bywatchingspeechesonCSpan,interviewontelevisiontalk shows, people interacting at work and at home, or simply by observing people walking down the street, find at least one person who exemplifies each of the followingbodylanguageideals.Writetheirnameordescriptiondown. a) Posture:StandUpTall____________________________________________ b) Posture:ShouldersUpandSquare_________________________________________ c) Posture:AlwaysBeCentered,WhetherStillorMoving ________________________________________________________________________ d) Gestures:UseTheChoporOtherDownwardMotions ________________________________________________________________________ e) Gestures:GestureWithinThePowerZoneBetweentheShoulders ________________________________________________________________________ f) EyeContact:SendYourMessageThroughYourEyesIntoTheirs! ________________________________________________________________________ g) Listening:Receive,Digest,Respond ________________________________________________________________________ h) StayingCenteredRemaininaPlaceofCalm,RecoverfromAttacksandMissteps ________________________________________________________________________

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2.Usingtheconceptofmodeling,mimicorcopywhatthesepeopledid,howthey stoodorwalkedormovedorgesturedorlooked.Trytopracticethisinanumberof situations.Doesitfeelgood?Doesitfeelcomfortable?Isitsomethingthatyoufeel youcanintegrateintoyourowncommunicationstyle? 3. Now, lets integrate it. Practice, in front of a mirror, each of the body language aspectsabovewhileyouarerehearsingatalk,eitheroneyouhavegivenbefore,one youhavetogiveorjustmakingsomethinguponthespot.Noteyourposture.Try making gestures within the Power Zone. Maintain eye contact. Practice this until you feel comfortable with each aspect. Remember that you are a listener, too, so if whatyouseeinthemirrorhasanimpactonyou,itwillhaveanimpactonothers! 4. Practicelistening. Inconversationswith others, truly pay attention to what they aresayingratherthanwhatyouaregoingtosaynext.Rememberifyoureceiveand digest what they are saying, you will be able to respond more appropriately and persuasivelywhenyouspeak.YoucanalsonoticeotherpeoplewholisteninanRTP Ready to Pounce fashion, and recognize how unappealing and disengaging that kindoflisteningis. 5.Watchforexamplesofhowpowerfulspeakersrecoverfromattacksandmissteps andreturntoacalm,centeredplace.Thisisparticularlyapparentinpoliticaldebates andheateddiscussionsonpoliticaltalkshows.PresidentObamaisamasteratthis,as was shown in the 2008 Presidential Debates. The trick is to use the techniques of Listeningandthengoonestepfurther: Receive what the other person is saying. This lets you react to the communicationratherthantoyourfeelingsabouttheotherpersonsattitude. Digest what you have heard. This gives you some space to prepare your responseanddistanceyourselffromtheheatoftheencounter. Transmute the emotion of the attack. This is the extra step. In debates, Obama wouldtake amoment to digestthe attack, thenhewouldsmile, as thoughheunderstoodtheattackbutwasbeingpatientwithhowtheattacker misunderstoodhisposition.Thisstripsthenegativeenergyoutoftheattack andletsyou Respond from a centered place. With the attack energy gone, you can moveontomakingyourimportantpoints,ratherthanstayinginadefensive modethatgivestheotherpersonanadvantage.

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Secret#2
GripListenerswithYour LaseredCompellingMessage
TheSecret Theworldsgreatestcommunicatorsknowthatit isnotthebrillianceofthewords,northe overwhelmingdetailthatcreatesresults.They knowthatitistheartofconcentratingthosewordsintoasimple,identifiablemessage,asvivid andfocusedasalaser,thatdrivesgreatcommunication. 1. Oneofthegreatestchallengesforreallysmartpeople,inany profession,isto realizethatitisnotintelligenceormassiveamountsofdatathatdriveresults... it is the communication of intelligent ideas or themes, in a userfriendly package,thatcreatesthedesiredimpact. 2. Humanbeingswillonlyconsideracommunicationuserfriendlyiftheycan understandandfullygraspit.Totheextentthatamessageisunclear,atany and all points of the communication, a speaker will lose part or all of his audience. 3. Human beings are forced to expend energy and attention if they have to process abstract ideas or themes. Unless the ideas or themes are sensory specific we are forced to translate what we hear into an expression of one of ourfivesenses,asthatistheonlywaywecanunderstandandstoreinput. 4. Sensory specific communication encompasses words and ideas and themes thatanaudiencemembercaneithersee,hear,smell,tasteortouch/feelinside ofhisorhermindseyeorbody.Anythingotherthanthatisabstract. 5. A speech or any communication should have a theme that is a provocative pointofviewratherthanthesimple,neutralstatementofatopic. 6. Following the statement of the lasered, compelling theme, each subtheme shouldalsobeaprovocativepointofviewandsupportthemastertheme.To support and bring to life each subtheme, use the best facts, visual aids, anecdotes,storiesandpersonalperspectivesthatyouhaveandforwhichyou havetime.

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ExerciseLasered,CompellingMessage
Using the skeletal outline below, write an entire Lasered, Compelling Message speechaboutanythingyoufeelpassionateabout. Theme:_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ SubThemeOne:_________________________________________ Fact:_____________________ Story:____________________ Anecdote:________________ PhotoorVideo:___________ Graph/Statistic:___________ SubThemeTwo:_________________________________________ Fact:_____________________ Story:____________________ Anecdote:________________ PhotoorVideo:___________ Graph/Statistic:___________ SubThemeThree:________________________________________ Fact:_____________________ Story:____________________ Anecdote:________________ PhotoorVideo:___________ Graph/Statistic:___________ Conclusion:______________________________________________

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Secret#3
EngageListenersbyApplyingthe CommunicationEffectiveness Continuum
TheSecret Theworldsgreatestcommunicatorsknowthat deliveringaperformanceorapresentationisnot whatseducesaudiencestopayattentionandbeengagedwithspeakerandmessage.They knowthatitisonlybythesendingandreceivingofenergythroughaconversationalstyleof communicationthatlistenerssuspendresistanceandpayattention.Andthegreatestspeakers understandthattheirownwillingnessandvulnerabilitycancreateasortofspiritual conversationtha,takesaudiencesbeyondlisteningtoaplacethattheywillneverforget. TheCommunicationEffectivenessContinuum Performance Presentation Conversation/Being 0__________________________________5________________________________10 At To With 1. Thereare3stylesofcommunication: APerformancestylewherethespeakerishighlyrehearsedandthespeechis memorized,doesnotconnectwiththeaudienceandspeaksATthemnot terriblyeffectiveunlessitisauthenticandvery,verywelldone. A Presentation style where the speaker is highly focused on delivering the dataandpresentsthematerialinastepbystep,linear,textbookfashionTO theaudience.This isthestandard style in almostall presentations andcan rarelybemorethanmoderatelycompellingoreffective. A Conversation style where the speaker realizes that there is, indeed, a conversation raging between them and each member of the audience, where the speaker is communicating with words and voice tone and body languageandenergy,andtheaudience,ateverymoment,iscommunicating

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backwiththeirbodylanguageandenergy.Thisspeakingstyleis,byfar,the most effective as well as being the most relaxed, the least scary and the easiest. You will feel that there is less at stake or at risk when you are participating WITH your listeners, rather than performing or presenting somethingforthemtojudge.IntheConversationstyle,speakerandlistener areonthesameteam! 2. There is a rare style that transcends the effectiveness of even a masterful conversation...andthatiswhenthespeakerisabletogotoaplaceinsideof him or herself that can be described as magical, transcendent, mesmerizing,spiritual.Fewcanreachthisexaltedplacebecausefeware willing to do what is required: to be completely open and vulnerable on a human,aswellasaprofessionallevel,whenonespeaks. 3. To move to the right on the continuum can be as easy as simply reminding oneselftojusthaveaconversationwiththeaudienceortospeakWITHrather than AT or TO. To move beyond that one must connect to ones authentic passion(SeeSecret#5)butalsobewillingtospeakthatpassionandonestrue thoughtsandfeelingswithoutcensorshipandwithoutregardforthereaction asIhavesaid,averydifficultfeat.

ExercisesCommunicationEffectivenessContinuum
1. WhereAreYouonTheContinuum? Think,honestly,abouthowyoushowedupinyourlastfewcommunications.Where wereyouonthecontinuum? PutanXwhereyoufeelyouare. Performance Presentation Conversation/Being 0__________________________________5________________________________10 At To With 2. AGlassofBeer(orWine) Wherever you were, you can move yourself pretty quickly to the right on the continuumifyoudoareallysimplething.

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Takeaportionofthepresentationyoumade,oronethatyouwillmake,(orjustsome theme you would like to speak about) and go grab a glass or beer or wine (or the social beverage of your choice). Hold the glass in your hand and give the presentation.Imagine,asyoudo,thatyouarewithfriends,atabarorarestauranton aFridaynight. Notice how your tone becomes less formal, less stilted and, yes, more conversational. 3. TheEinsteinTest RumorhasitthatAlbertEinsteinsaidUnlessyoucanexplainittoa12yearold,you dontfullyunderstandityourself! Othersspeakaboutthegeniusofsimplicityontheothersideofcomplexity,thatis, the ability to distill and yet contain high levels of detail and sophistication into a simpleexpression.InmanywaysthatiswhatAbrahamLincolnaccomplishedinhis Gettysburg Address and what the great and inspiring teachers at universities and graduateschoolscando. So, use The Einstein Test whenever you give a talk or explain anything. Ask yourselfwhethera12yearoldcanunderstandit.Ifnot,workonmakingitsimpler, butstilljustasaccurateaccurate.

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Secret#4
ReachOuttoYourListeners bySpeakingAllFourLanguagesof HumanCommunication
TheSecret Theworldsgreatestcommunicatorsknow, instinctively,thattherearefourfrequenciesthathumanbeingoperateon,communicate withandlivein,andthatitisnevergoodenoughtoonlybroadcastorreceiveononlyone ortwo.Bydevelopingtheirownabilitytobroadcastandreceiveallfourlanguages,the greatestcommunicatorscanbeonthesamewavelengthwithanyoneandeveryoneandtake theiraudiencesanywhereandeverywhere! TheFourLanguages: Auditory

Visual

Auditory

Digital
Analyze Detail Specific Analytical SoftorLoud Lowish Anal Contracted Controlled Uptight AlbertEinstein Analytical Thorough Fascinating Anal Impersonal

Kinesthetic
Feel Grasp Smell Slow Soft Low Slow Sensuous Fluid Solid JamieFoxx Warm Connects Soulful TooSlow TooSensitive

Words:

Look See Picture Fast Loud Highpitch Fast Animated Spontaneous Free RobinWilliams Creative HighEnergy Inspiring Frenetic Superficial

Listen Hear Understand Conversational Mediumvolume Mediumpitch Conversational Average Normal Normal RonaldReagan Thoughtful Articulate Informative Uninspiring Average

VoiceTone

Body Language Examples: Attributes Potential Liabilities Howto Develop Skills

AskYourself...
Whats Exciting? Whats Fascinating? WhatData MakesIt Fascinating? WhatDo IFeel?

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1. Human beings communicate with the world through five distinct senses: Visual,Auditory,Olfactory,GustatoryandKinesthetic 2. Eachofthesefivesensescarriesinformationtoandfromtheworldatdifferent frequencies. Visual is the fastest (186,200 miles per second and trillions of Hertz),Auditoryisquiteabitslower(hundredsofmilesperhourandhundred or thousands of Hertz) and the Olfactory, Gustatory and Kinesthetic senses operatemuchslowerstill(inthetensofHertz) 3. EVERY human being is born with all 5 senses. The Visual and Olfactory, Gustatory and Kinesthetic develop first while the language aspect of the Auditorysensetakesseveraladditionalyearstodevelop. 4. These five senses are grouped into FOUR LANGUAGES of human communication: The Auditory sense is broken into two languages because theyareverydifferentandtheOlfactory,GustatoryandKinestheticsensesare groupedasone,becausetheyareverysimilarinhowtheycommunicatewith theworld. 5. Thegreatcommunicatorscommunicatein...arefluentin...ALLFOUR languages. Examples are: Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, and of course, Barack Obama. Theycanspeakeveryonesneurologicallanguage,aroundtheworld. 6. ThegoalofallcommunicatorsistobecomeaFourLanguageCommunicator. This,however,isveryrare.Approximately0.5%ofallhumanbeingshaveall fouroftheirlanguagesdevelopedenoughtobecalledaFourLanguageor CompleteCommunicator. 7. Some people are only well developed in one language, and are called One Language Communicators. This, thankfully, is rare. Pee Wee Herman is a dramatic example of one. In his character he communicates only via the Visuallanguage. 8. The vast majority of speakers are Two Language Communicators. The most commonvariationofthis,atleastinAmericaandespeciallyAmericanbusiness istheAuditoryAuditoryDigitalcombination.BillGatesandAlGorearegood examples of this kind of Two Language Communicator. Ross Perot, on the

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otherhand,isanexampleofaVisualAuditoryDigitalcombinationwhileDan QuayleisanexampleoftheVisualAuditorycombination. 9. About10%ofcommunicatorsreachtheThreeLanguageranks.JohnMcCainis a great example of a Three Language Communicator as he shows great abilitiesinAuditory,AuditoryDigitalandKinesthetic. 10. ALL speakers can become Four Language Communicators, and thereby liberatealloftheirnaturalfrequenciesandbeseenas,andbe,charismatic.

ExercisesTheFourLanguages
BelowisaQuestionnairethatIgivetomycorporateandprivateclients.Takethetime now,fillitoutandfindouthowmanylanguagesyouspeak!

THEFOURLANGUAGESQUESTIONNAIRE
Yourability,literally,tolivethevaluesyouchose,oranyvalues,dependsonthe depth,breadthandwidthoryourcapacitytoexploityourownhumancapacities. Allhumancapacityderivesfromoneofthe5humansenses: 1.Theabilitytosee,create,visualize,dream,animate,processthebigpicture, 2.Theabilitytohear,think,discuss,communicatethroughwordsandtheability to take in quantities of information and analyze that information with great precision 35.Theabilitytotaste,smell,touchandbetouched,connectwithonesselfand othersandtofeel. Thelanguages,toreview,are: 1. VisualTheabilitytosee,create,visualize,dream,animate,processthebig picture. 2. AuditoryTheabilitytohear,think,discuss,communicatethroughwords. 3. AuditoryDigitalThe abilityto takein quantities ofinformation and analyze thatinformationwithgreatprecision. 4. Kinesthetic The ability to taste, smell, touch and be touched, connect with onesselfandothers,andtofeel.

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It is impossible to operate at ones fullest potential as a human being without utilizing all of ones senses, or communicating with ones self and the world throughall4languages. Excellence requires the constant, and neverending search for personal developmentandimprovement. Within your circle of family, friends and associates there are many individuals who are proficient in Two Languages, fewer who are proficient in Three LanguagesandahandfulwhoareproficientinallFourLanguages.Thosewho are HIGHLY proficient in any one of the languages that you do not have proficiency in must be your models, your teachers, your guides . . . to the developmentofthatlanguage,thatcapacity,inyourownlifeexperience. TherearetwowaystogenerateEXCELLENCEinthefourlanguages: Modelingthebehaviorofthosewhohaveexcellence. Developingthevaluesthatareconsistentwiththatlanguage. First,letsfindoutwhereyouare:

TheVISUALLanguage
5Always,VeryMuchTrue 4Often,OftenTrue 3Occasionally,OccasionallyTrue 2Rarely,RarelyTrue 1Never,NeverTrue

Thinking

Ithinkinpictures Ithinkquickly

_______ _______

Speaking Ispeakquickly DecisionMaking IhavetoseethedetailsorthebigpicturebeforeIdecide Howpeopleorthingslookisveryimportanttome

_______

_______ _______

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Moving Imovequickly ExcitementLevel Ihavetheabilitytogetveryexcited Ihavetheabilitytogetexcitedveryeasily Ihavelotsofenergy Creativity Iamcreative

_______

______ ______ ______

_______

Total:_______ dividedby10= YourScore NotFluent _______

ModeratelyFluent

VeryFluent

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TheAUDITORYLanguage
5Always,VeryMuchTrue 4Often,OftenTrue 3Occasionally,OccasionallyTrue 2Rarely,RarelyTrue 1Never,NeverTrue Thinking Ithinkinwords,conceptsorideas Speaking Ispeakatanaverage,conversationalpace DecisionMaking IhavetounderstandtheconceptsinvolvedbeforeIdecide Howpeopleorthingssoundisveryimportanttome

_______

_______

_______ _______

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Moving Imoveatanaveragepace _______ LanguagingSkills Iamveryarticulate _______ IcantranslatewhatIsee,thinkorfeelintowordseasilyandeffectively _______ Total:_______ dividedby7= YourScore NotFluent ModeratelyFluent VeryFluent _______

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TheAUDITORYDIGITALLanguage
5Always,VeryMuchTrue 4Often,OftenTrue 3Occasionally,OccasionallyTrue 2Rarely,RarelyTrue 1Never,NeverTrue


Thinking Ihaveatremendousabilitytothinkindetails _______ Ilovefacts,figures,analysis _______ Speaking IgetwrappedupinwhatIamsayingandcanforgettopayattentiontomyaudience _______

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DecisionMaking Ihavetohaveallofthefacts,detailsandbeforeIdecide _______ Howsmartorhowdetailedtheyarepeopleareisveryimportanttome.(Ihateitwhen peoplejumptoconclusionswithoutasolidfactualbasis). _______ LoveofKnowledge IamdriventolearneverythingIcanaboutthings _______ Total:_______ dividedby6= YourScore NotFluent _______

ModeratelyFluent

VeryFluent

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TheKINESTHETICLanguage
5Always,VeryMuchTrue 4Often,OftenTrue 3Occasionally,OccasionallyTrue 2Rarely,RarelyTrue 1Never,NeverTrue

Thinking Speaking

Ithinkinfeelings

_______

Ispeakslowly

_______

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DecisionMaking IhavetofeelwhatisrightcourseofactionbeforeIdecide Howpeopleorthingsfeeltomeisveryimportanttome Moving Imoveslowly ConnectionLevel Ilovetohugortouchpeople Ituneinandcanfeelwhatotherpeoplefeel PassionandEmotion Iamapassionateperson Ihaveadeepcapacityforexperiencingemotions Ihaveadeepcapacityforexpressingemotion

_______ _______

_______

_______ _______

_______ _______ _______

Total:_______ dividedby10= YourScore NotFluent ModeratelyFluent VeryFluent _______

12345 HowManyLanguagesDoYouSpeak? Youmayconsiderthatyouspeakaneurologicallanguageifyouareata3.5orhigher. Howmanylanguagesdoyouspeak?___________ YoursuccessinShakingTheWorldwithyourwordsisdirectlyproportionaltoyourfluencyinthese four languages. Unless you score a 3 or 4 in language fluency you are holding back significant amountsofwhatyouareheretosharewiththeworld.YoucandevelopyourFourLanguagesskillsas you would by going to the gym to develop your muscles, by listening and observingandpracticing. Aswithyourbody,thecapacityistheretodevelopasmuchasyouwish.Everyonewasbornwiththe innate neurology to speak and inspire with all four languages and, in doing so, to be a profoundly charismatichumanbeing!

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Secret#5
MoveandMotivatePeoplewithYour AuthenticPassion
TheSecret LikeBarackObama,theworldsgreatest communicatorsknowthatitisimpossibletotruly persuadeormovethroughtheheadaloneandthat humanbeingsareprimarilydriventoactbyfeelingsintheirgutand,evenmoreso,feelingsin theirheart.Andtheyalsoknow,thesegreatcommunicators,thatallhumanbeingshave instinctualbiologicalmechanismstoalertthemtoanythingthatlooksorsoundsorfeels unsafe...andthatmanipulationanddisingenuousnessaretheultimateviolationsoftrust betweenaspeakerandanaudience.Thesegreatcommunicatorsunderstandthattopersuade andmoveaudiencestheymustgivetheultimategifteverytimetheyspeak...thegiftof reachingintotheirownhearttofindandshare,whateverthesubject,theauthenticpassion thatresideswithin. 1. Wordsdevoidofconnectiontothegutortheheartareincapableofmovingan audience. 2. One must, only, ever speak about things that they are passionate about. AuthenticallyPassionateabout. 3. Regardless of the topic, it is YOUR job to find that personal, passionate connection...orsimplydontspeak! 4. Approach the topic with a visceral, NOT a purely academic or purely intellectual question, in order to elicit the Authentic Passion. A general questionthatwilldirecttheinitialfocusintherightdirectionis:Whatisso fing cool (you choose the variation of that term that works best for you althoughusingswearwordstoyourselfworksbestastheyunleashalevel ofraw,visceralenergythatcannotusuallybeduplicatedotherwise).Icallthis TheSFCQuestionor,simply,SFC.Ifyoupreferyoumayuseavariationon this theme What is so darn cool about this (topic, idea, argument, project, product, etc.)? More specific questions are: What is exciting about this? Whatisfascinatingaboutthis?What,specifically,isfascinatingaboutthis? What do I feel passionate about (regarding this)? What moves me (about this)?Whatangersme?Whattouchesme? 5. Bereal.Befullyyourself.Behonest.Alwaysbeauthentic.Thegreatthing aboutplanningyourcommunicationaroundsomethingyouretrulypassionate 30

aboutis thatyouare rarely ata lossfor what to say. Thinkaboutsomething thatreallyrunsyouon:afavoritesportsteam,aTVseries,ahobby,anexciting project atwork, your kids. Dopeople have to coax you to talk about it? Or, more likely, is it the other way around is it a struggle to get you to stop talkingaboutit? 6. I may be going out on a limb here, but Im going to make a bold statement: every decision a person makes is an emotional decision. Think about this: if a decision were based solely on the facts, crunching the numbers, sorting through the variables, a computer could make it. Human beings always operateinanemotionalrealm.Oncetheyhavegatheredallthefactsanddone theircalculations,thedecisionismadeonhowtheyfeelaboutthatdataand theirconclusions.IfyoucommunicateyourAuthenticPassion,youaregiving people a reason to choose in your favor. Everyone will want a piece of whateveritisthatslightingyouonfire! Thesecretinwritingorgivingaspeechistogenerateemotion.Itisthroughemotionthat humanbeingsaremovedintheirgutandintheirheart.Andonlywhenhumanbeingsare movedinthiswaydotheychangehowtheythinkand changewhattheydo.
FromtheIntroductiontoWordsThatShookTheWorld

ExercisesAuthenticPassion
1. This is very simple, and, for many, so very hard. Just complete the following sentence: WhatisSFCabout(myidea,project,product,service,cause,etc.)isthat ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Now, do that with every page of any presentation you do and ask that question BEFORE you begin any talk or presentation of any kind. That question is the foundationofeverythingyoudoasacommunicator! 2.Gooutandhaveaconversationwithsomeoneaboutasubjectyouarepassionate about.Noticehoweasilythewordscome.Didyoufeelyourlistenergettingcaught up in your enthusiasm? Do you notice how speaking in the Four Languages comes more easily for you? With Authentic Passion as the engine that powers your

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communication,youwillfindthatalloftheskillsyouaredevelopingthroughthe5 Secretscomemoreeasily.Suddenlypresentations,meetings,andconversationsthat may have been intimidating are more natural and relaxed. Instead of trying to performassomeoneyouareNOT,youarespeakingfromtheplaceofwhoyoutruly ARE. Notice in the video samples on the DVD how engaged people are by Barack Obama when he is totally on his Authentic Passion game: they are nodding in agreement, aglow with optimism, overcome with emotion. All of these possibilities areavailabletoyouwhenyoutapintoyourpassion! 3. Take a subjectaboutwhich you have no particularfeelingsonewayor another. Noticehowatfirst,youfeellostincomingupwithanapproachtocommunicatethe subject to others. Now take something you feel passionate about and use it as a doorwayintoyoursubject!Forinstance,maybeyoureanavidflyfisherman.Perhaps that becomes a metaphor for your subject, letting you illustrate the benefits of focus and patience, of attempting over and over, each time correcting from what you learned before and getting closer to the target. Or maybe you have a hobby of knitting; this can convey the value of perceiving the larger pattern as a way of motivating you in the small steps toward a goal. What if you want to have a conversationwithyour teenage childaboutapplying himor herselfmoreinschool? You may be more effective if you talk about an impactful memory from your teen years which still affects you, letting your teen know youve experienced the same distractions and uncertainties they face. Remember Authentic Passion can come fromnegativeexperiencesaswellaspositiveenthusiasms.Thetrickistoshowhow youhaveturnedthosenegativesaroundandbenefitedfromthem. * * * * *

If you took nothing more away from this instructional DVD than to speak from your AuthenticPassion,youdbeaheadofthegame.But thetruthis,usingAuthenticPassionasasourcewill keepyouengagedandcommittedtoapplyallofthe 5 Secrets to your essential communications making you more charismatic and powerful in everysituationandfarmorelikelytogetwhatyou wantoutofyourlife,throughoutyourlife!

- Richard Greene

Copyright,FuturaPictures,Inc./RichardGreene,2009

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