In Illyria, the Duke of Illyria, Orsino states he is sick in love with Olivia.

Valentine reports to him, however, that she will not see him or any other man for seven years while she mourns the death of her father and brother (both died within the last six months). On the seacoast, Viola and her ship's captain come ashore after their ship sinks. Viola fears her twin brother Sebastian is drowned, but the captain thinks he saved himself by holding onto the floating mast. Upon learning that she is in Illyria, governed by Orsino, she convinces the captain to help disguise her as a male so that she may become a servant to Orsino, and it seems, perhaps try to win his love. At Olivia's house, her uncle, Sir Toby Belch, comes home late, drunk as usual, while Olivia's lady-in-waiting Maria lets him in. Soon, Toby's drinking buddy Sir Andrew Aguecheek shows up. Andrew tells Toby he'll head for home the next day, since Olivia won't let him woo her, but Toby convinces him to stay with them another month and promises to try harder to get Olivia to like him (Andrew). Back at the Duke's palace, he asks Viola (pretending to be a male servant named Cesario) to approach Olivia and woo her on his behalf. Viola (as Cesario) promises to do so, but privately reveals she will not try hard, since she desires Orsino. At Olivia's house, Olivia and her servant Feste (aka Clown) trade witticisms when Maria and Toby (drunk as usual) tell her Viola (as Cesario) is at the door. Learning Viola is come from Orsino, Olivia tells her steward Malvolio to send him away. Finally, though, she agrees to see Viola. Viola speaks to Olivia about Orsino and actually tries to tell her how to distance herself from him. While Viola speaks, Olivia actually starts to fall in love with her (as Cesario). When Olivia makes a pass at Viola, she quickly shuns Olivia off. After Viola leaves, Olivia even has Malvolio send her ring after her (as Cesario). When Viola receives the ring from Malvolio, she realizes Olivia's new love for her and wonders how things will work out now that Orsino loves Olivia, Olivia loves Viola (as Cesario), and Viola loves Orsino. At the seacoast, Sebastian tells Antonio (the captain that rescued Sebastian, but not Viola) of his fears that Viola is drowned. Sebastian heads to Orsino's court, and, though Antonio knows he has enemies there, he follows Sebastian out of pity for his plight. At Olivia's house, Toby and Andrew drink into the night, while the clown entertains them. Maria appears and Toby starts flirting with her. Malvolio, though, shows up and tries to spoil the fun. After he leaves, Maria tells Toby, Andrew, and the Clown how she plans to trick Malvolio into thinking Olivia is in love with him by penning love letters to him in Olivia's hand. Separately, Andrew tells Toby he is running out of money while he tries to win Olivia, and if he fails, he'll blame Toby. At the Duke's palace, the clown sings songs of love, while Viola and Orsino discuss the qualities of love. Orsino bids Viola approach Olivia again with his greeting, even though Viola insists Olivia will not be moved. In Olivia's garden, Toby, Andrew, Olivia's servant Fabian, and Maria hide and listen to Malvolio pompously dream of his "impending" marriage to Olivia, the idea placed in his mind by Maria's deceptive letters.

Viola comes back to Olivia's house to talk to her for Orsino, but Olivia declares to Viola that she loves her (as Cesario). Andrew again announces he's leaving, but Toby and Fabian again convince him to stay, convincing him he should duel Viola (as Cesario) to impress Olivia to love him. Separately, Toby admits to Fabian he only keeps Andrew around to use his money for alcohol. Sebastian and Antonio arrive in Illyria and Sebastian decides to tour the town, then meet Antonio at the Elephant Inn. At Olivia's house, Malvolio approaches Olivia and makes advances to her, but she thinks him mad. When Toby, Maria, and Fabian appear, Malvolio treats them like they are base and he is royal, causing them to laugh uproariously behind his back. Andrew appears with his outrageously stupidly worded challenge to Viola and Toby promises to deliver it. Toby comes to Viola (who had been speaking with Olivia) and tells her (as Cesario) that Andrew, a most fierce and dreaded knight, has a quarrel with her and will duel her. This greatly fears Viola, but Fabian promises to try to calm Andrew. Separately, Toby tells Andrew that Viola is fierce and unstoppable. Toby gets the two to duel, both fearing the other, when Antonio appears and breaks it up, thinking Viola to be Sebastian. Officers of the Duke then appear and arrest Antonio by order of Orsino. Antonio, thinking Viola to be Sebastian, asks for the money back that he lent Sebastian earlier. Viola, not knowing what he means, denies she knows him (though offers him money on loan), angering him and calling her disloyal. The officers lead him away while Viola realizes the confusion and finds new hope that Sebastian is alive. After Viola leaves, Toby and Fabian egg Andrew on further to once again duel Viola (as Cesario). Outside Olivia's house, the clown follows Sebastian around (thinking him Viola) insisting his name is Cesario and that Olivia desires to see him. This annoys Sebastian and he bids the clown to leave. Andrew then appears and strikes Sebastian (thinking him Viola/Cesario), but Sebastian strikes back at Andrew, scaring him. Toby, trying to keep Sebastian from Andrew himself duels Sebastian, until Olivia breaks it up. Sebastian immediately falls in love with her and they depart into her house together. In another part of the house, Malvolio is kept prisoner in a cell in the basement by Toby and Maria. The clown pretends to be a priest and visits him, but will not help him, and, rather, makes fun of him and calls him mad. In Olivia's garden, Sebastian ponders the amazement of the finding of his new love Olivia, then she and he go with a priest to the church to be married. At Olivia's house, the Duke arrives and entreats the clown to let him see Olivia. While waiting, Antonio shows up with the officers and explains how he rescued Sebastian from the sea then helped him (actually Viola) in the duel. Orsino tells Antonio he is a pirate and not to be trusted since he helped steal one of Illyria's greatest battleships in the past. Olivia arrives and immediately starts doting on Viola (as Cesario), eventually calling her husband, shocking Viola and enraging the Duke. The Priest arrives and confirms the marriage between Olivia and Cesario (actually Sebastian). Andrew then appears and swears Cesario struck

Toby alongside the head, wounding him, but Viola denies it. Toby appears, mad at Viola (thinking her Sebastian), but leaves to be bandaged. Finally, Sebastian appears and greets all, while both twins (he and Viola) are amazed and delighted that the other is living. Sebastian promises to keep his marriage to Olivia, and the Duke vows to marry Viola. Malvolio is brought forth from the cell and all learn of the trick played on him. Fabian and the Clown admit they, Toby, and Maria did it all in jest, and in return for Maria's help, Toby married her. However, Malvolio vows to be revenged on them all. The Duke calls his servants to calm Malvolio, and all depart happily.

Act 1, Scene 1

SCENE I. DUKE ORSINO's palace. Enter DUKE ORSINO, CURIO, and other Lords; Musicians attending DUKE ORSINO If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again! it had a dying fall: O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound, That breathes upon a bank of violets, Stealing and giving odour! Enough; no more: 'Tis not so sweet now as it was before.

O spirit of love! how quick and fresh art thou, That, notwithstanding thy capacity Receiveth as the sea, nought enters there, Of what validity and pitch soe'er, But falls into abatement and low price, Even in a minute: so full of shapes is fancy That it alone is high fantastical. CURIO Will you go hunt, my lord? DUKE ORSINO What, Curio? CURIO The hart. DUKE ORSINO Why, so I do, the noblest that I have: O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, Methought she purged the air of pestilence! That instant was I turn'd into a hart; And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, E'er since pursue me. Enter VALENTINE How now! what news from her? VALENTINE So please my lord, I might not be admitted; But from her handmaid do return this answer: The element itself, till seven years' heat, Shall not behold her face at ample view; But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk And water once a day her chamber round With eye-offending brine: all this to season A brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh And lasting in her sad remembrance. DUKE ORSINO O, she that hath a heart of that fine frame To pay this debt of love but to a brother, How will she love, when the rich golden shaft Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else That live in her; when liver, brain and heart, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and fill'd Her sweet perfections with one self king! Away before me to sweet beds of flowers: Love-thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers. Exeunt

Act 1, Scene 2
SCENE II. The sea-coast. Enter VIOLA, a Captain, and Sailors VIOLA What country, friends, is this? Captain This is Illyria, lady. VIOLA And what should I do in Illyria? My brother he is in Elysium. Perchance he is not drown'd: what think you, sailors? Captain It is perchance that you yourself were saved. VIOLA O my poor brother! and so perchance may he be. Captain True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance, Assure yourself, after our ship did split, When you and those poor number saved with you Hung on our driving boat, I saw your brother, Most provident in peril, bind himself, Courage and hope both teaching him the practise, To a strong mast that lived upon the sea; Where, like Arion on the dolphin's back, I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves So long as I could see. VIOLA For saying so, there's gold: Mine own escape unfoldeth to my hope, Whereto thy speech serves for authority, The like of him. Know'st thou this country? Captain Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born Not three hours' travel from this very place.

VIOLA Who governs here? Captain A noble duke, in nature as in name. VIOLA What is the name? Captain Orsino. VIOLA Orsino! I have heard my father name him: He was a bachelor then. Captain And so is now, or was so very late; For but a month ago I went from hence, And then 'twas fresh in murmur,--as, you know, What great ones do the less will prattle of,-That he did seek the love of fair Olivia. VIOLA What's she? Captain A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count That died some twelvemonth since, then leaving her In the protection of his son, her brother, Who shortly also died: for whose dear love, They say, she hath abjured the company And sight of men. VIOLA O that I served that lady And might not be delivered to the world, Till I had made mine own occasion mellow, What my estate is! Captain That were hard to compass; Because she will admit no kind of suit, No, not the duke's. VIOLA

There is a fair behavior in thee, captain; And though that nature with a beauteous wall Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee I will believe thou hast a mind that suits With this thy fair and outward character. I prithee, and I'll pay thee bounteously, Conceal me what I am, and be my aid For such disguise as haply shall become The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke: Thou shall present me as an eunuch to him: It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing And speak to him in many sorts of music That will allow me very worth his service. What else may hap to time I will commit; Only shape thou thy silence to my wit. Captain Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be: When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see. VIOLA I thank thee: lead me on. Exeunt

Act 1, Scene 3
SCENE III. OLIVIA'S house. Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA SIR TOBY BELCH What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life. MARIA By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights: your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours. SIR TOBY BELCH Why, let her except, before excepted.

MARIA Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. SIR TOBY BELCH Confine! I'll confine myself no finer than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink in; and so be these boots too: an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. MARIA That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer. SIR TOBY BELCH Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek? MARIA Ay, he. SIR TOBY BELCH He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria. MARIA What's that to the purpose? SIR TOBY BELCH Why, he has three thousand ducats a year. MARIA Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats: he's a very fool and a prodigal. SIR TOBY BELCH Fie, that you'll say so! he plays o' the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature. MARIA He hath indeed, almost natural: for besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller: and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent

he would quickly have the gift of a grave. SIR TOBY BELCH By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. Who are they? MARIA They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company. SIR TOBY BELCH With drinking healths to my niece: I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria: he's a coward and a coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface. Enter SIR ANDREW SIR ANDREW Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch! SIR TOBY BELCH Sweet Sir Andrew! SIR ANDREW Bless you, fair shrew. MARIA And you too, sir. SIR TOBY BELCH Accost, Sir Andrew, accost. SIR ANDREW What's that? SIR TOBY BELCH My niece's chambermaid. SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. MARIA My name is Mary, sir.

SIR ANDREW Good Mistress Mary Accost,-SIR TOBY BELCH You mistake, knight; 'accost' is front her, board her, woo her, assail her. SIR ANDREW By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of 'accost'? MARIA Fare you well, gentlemen. SIR TOBY BELCH An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again. SIR ANDREW An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand? MARIA Sir, I have not you by the hand. SIR ANDREW Marry, but you shall have; and here's my hand. MARIA Now, sir, 'thought is free:' I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink. SIR ANDREW Wherefore, sweet-heart? what's your metaphor? MARIA It's dry, sir. SIR ANDREW Why, I think so: I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest? MARIA

A dry jest, sir. SIR ANDREW Are you full of them? MARIA Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren. Exit SIR TOBY BELCH O knight thou lackest a cup of canary: when did I see thee so put down? SIR ANDREW Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of beef and I believe that does harm to my wit. SIR TOBY BELCH No question. SIR ANDREW An I thought that, I'ld forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby. SIR TOBY BELCH Pourquoi, my dear knight? SIR ANDREW What is 'Pourquoi'? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts! SIR TOBY BELCH Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair. SIR ANDREW Why, would that have mended my hair? SIR TOBY BELCH Past question; for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

SIR ANDREW But it becomes me well enough, does't not? SIR TOBY BELCH Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off. SIR ANDREW Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby: your niece will not be seen; or if she be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count himself here hard by woos her. SIR TOBY BELCH She'll none o' the count: she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear't. Tut, there's life in't, man. SIR ANDREW I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. SIR TOBY BELCH Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight? SIR ANDREW As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old man. SIR TOBY BELCH What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight? SIR ANDREW Faith, I can cut a caper. SIR TOBY BELCH And I can cut the mutton to't. SIR ANDREW And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

SIR TOBY BELCH Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before 'em? are they like to take dust, like Mistress Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a galliard and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig; I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard. SIR ANDREW Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock. Shall we set about some revels? SIR TOBY BELCH What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus? SIR ANDREW Taurus! That's sides and heart. SIR TOBY BELCH No, sir; it is legs and thighs. Let me see the caper; ha! higher: ha, ha! excellent! Exeunt