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Gaudet 1 Christine M. Gaudet Professor: Dr.

Joe Vines English Composition 1101 (2744) Date: 11 December 2012 Writing Ups and Downs There is definitely a lot to be said about how my writing has transformed and evolved over the course. To say that I experienced periods of tribulation would undoubtedly be a very accurate statement. Previously, I had experience in a different class setting and there was minimal structure. Admittedly, I believe that if I had been able to communicate face-to-face with anyone in my class for my composition course, I would have had much more successful results and not doubt my ability to write. Although I enjoyed the course it instilled a sense of doubt that was seemingly difficult to shake. Structurally, I was faced with a number of different methods than were previously taught to me. I found that I was most successful in providing better quality essays and had more confidence when turning in my assignments if I felt there was some leniency in its structure. Generated topic choices not made by me put a damper on my ability to make the initial leap and at times it felt like I was going to jump into a pool that had been drained. Often times I would find myself consumed with anxiety and choke before I could even really begin writing. There was an aura of pressure that I found it impossible to avoid feeling at all times. Consistency has always been an extremely crucial need of mine in all aspects of my life. If I lack any reassurance or become filled with doubt pertaining to the reliably or stability of my support network and study environment, it becomes apparent that the gears can quickly come to a screeching halt. With deadlines to meet, the added stress can feel so overwhelming that I have

literally fallen ill and the struggle to start or resume writing becomes a tiresome uphill battle. Specifically, the layout of the coursework on the schools website made me feel as if I lacked the ability to identify coherent structure. In result, I became obsessed with what I then felt I couldnt comprehend, simply because it appeared disorganized. Conversely, it would be unfair to overlook the fact that I greatly benefitted from a piece of advice that was given to me directly from my professor regarding the proper way to format a traditional essay. After many grueling hours of research and compensating for having been taught many of the most important rules of M.L.A. style, I experienced a very fulfilling feeling of accomplishment. The way to organize and format citations and sources had been self-taught but was made much clearer when my research had concluded. Jokingly, I agreed with one of my family members that the newfound structure would continuously feed into my compulsive tendencies (tied to my disorder). The usefulness of this tool can certainly help me with my organization skills outside of the classroom as well. So although the flavor had drifted away from my writing I found added professionalism in sentence structure. Throughout the duration of my composition class, there was a great sense of loss, as I felt that I no longer possessed any sort of superior writing talent. It was almost as if I had forgotten who I was and internally I knew that my love for writing had diminished. The joy I once felt seemed to just slip away from me, until the implementation of strict guidelines shed light on what it was that I had been lacking all along. My colligate essay creations revealed to me that there is indeed a nich for a writer like myself. The writer I once knew was dead, but a fresh, organized writer found birth in me through this class.

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