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Boerne
Kendal County Fairgrounds
15th Annual
2009 Free
EXPO
Admission
& Parking!
live
entertainment
Gone?
music
by Elmo Lincoln
As I meander around the Hill Country,
there is one constant: live music. On Sundays, I
like to cruise up to Luckenbach and listen to all
SALE the different musicians, some with amplification
All Takamine Guitars and some without, as they all sit around and pick
a few tunes, song-swap, and generally waste time.
35-40% off I like to slip over to Gruene Hall to catch the latest
up and coming act, or see Jerry Jeff Walker who plays
there constantly. Fredericksburg has a bustling music
scene, with virtually every restaurant and bar featuring some
acoustic act. Even Bandera has the volume turned up on
Saturday night with live music blaring from the open doors
of the honky tonks. Regardless of where it is, if you’re in the
Hill Country, you expect music. — And then there’s Boerne.
Stick your head out your front door after 8 pm,
and I promise you, you’ll hear little more than crickets.
And that’s too bad. Boerne is blessed with a location and
ambiance that would be ideal for a thriving music scene,
and for whatever reason, the town hasn’t embraced the
music, and thus, the musicians have left for greener
pastures.
That doesn’t mean that nobody has tried. From
the Longbranch Saloon to Sidelines to the TinRoof
Steakhouse, many local establishments have tried to
bring live music to the masses. For the most part, they
have all abandoned it. The question is: WHY? There
are several theories.
(Interviews for this article were kept anonymous).
One local restaurant owner puts it, “We have tried so hard
to bring live music in. We book what we believe are great
acts, put it on our website, put it in our advertising, and
then have 4 people show up for the show. So after paying
the band, we’re at a loss. It’s very discouraging because
I would love to see a better music scene here.” Another
“NOT JUST YOUR ORDINARY bar owner has a different theory. “Boerne has never
GUITAR SHOP” had a fondness for live music. With the way the town
is configured, virtually every establishment is close to
248 N. Main #2 • Boerne, Texas 78006 a residence. We can have an acoustic act, with very
830.249.9931 little amplification, but if Grandma steps out on her
(behind the Boerne Library)
front porch and can hear the slightest guitar strum,
www.thebohemianguitarplayer.com
8 See it. Breathe it. Live it. EXPLORE it.
she calls the cops. The cops come and make us turn it
down. The artist is frustrated because then the crowd
itself is louder than he is. I’m frustrated because my
money is wasted, and lastly, no bar patron likes to see
the cops coming through three times a night eyeballing
everyone.”
The musicians agree. “Boerne is a tough place to
play. The people in Boerne don’t seem to gravitate to
the live music. They want to go out for a quiet dinner
or a glass of wine. They don’t come out to listen to the
music, clap, and interact. They want the musicians to
be background music. Sometimes that’s ok, but most
musicians are playing to be heard and built a name for
themselves. They don’t want to come out and play
Margaritaville, they want to play their own music, or
more intimate folk music that requires your attention.”
Besides the crowd, the monetary motivation doesn’t
seem to be there. One musician bluntly explains, “The
pay is ridiculous. I’ve played in Fredericksburg for 2
hours at $150. I’ve played some hole in the wall joints in
San Antonio for $200 for 3 hours. My last offer to play
Boerne was $40 and dinner. I don’t need food. I need
money.”
Regardless of the reasons, something needs to
change. The TinRoof Steakhouse is still bringing in a
nice variety of live music. Sidelines has music on the
weekends. Conroy’s pub has full bands on the weekends.
The music is out there, but the cycle of frustration has
continued. Boerne is blessed with a proximity to a large
metro area that should be capitalized upon. Those folks
don’t want to drive over an hour to Fredericksburg on
a Thursday night, but I would hazard a guess that they
would come out to Boerne if there was some good
music. Unfortunately, up until now, the offerings have
been limited.
The town itself can’t bear all of the blame. Yet
another restaurant owner vented his frustration, “The
musicians tend to be a bit entitled. We book them and Readers Choice Award Winner
then the musician does nothing in terms of his or her own
promotion. Nothing on their website. No email blasts.
Coldest Beer in Boerne!
No posters around town. They show up and act real Nightly Specials
confused as to why there’s not hundreds of adoring fans. Saturday - Karaoke Incense, Smudge & Sweetgrass
Heck, most of them don’t even drag their own friends out
to watch the show.”
Every Thursday is Handmade Gifts, Tibetan Prayer Flags,
I’m a simple wordsmith and traveling troubadour, BIKE NIGHT!! Jewelry and More.
and am not a big problem solver. However, I hope to $2 Longnecks 7-11pm Th/Fr 10 – 5
bring about some discussion. Boerne has become the
laughing stock of the live music circuit, and that needs Sat/Sun 12 – 4
to change. I hope that the next time you see a band is 31138 I-10 W • Boerne, TX
Open Noon
(across fromEvery Day!
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playing at one of our local establishments, pop in, thank
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you listen to the music. While one audience member Comfort, Texas
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23907 Cielo Vista • San Antonio, TX 78255
www.CountryHomeLearningCenter.com
interiors
Ask not what your country will give you in the form of a stimulus have an unlimited budget take a good look at purchasing insulated wrought iron
package (because you might be waiting a while) ask what stimulus doors with glass inserts. The wrought iron doors also range in size and quality
package you can create for yourself today! and can be anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 for a pair. The taller the doors the
The 5 best things you can do for your home to give it the grandeur the appearance. Adding an inviting bench or even 2 rocking chairs on
appearance of radiating energy, quality and attractiveness can be the front porch sends the message of contented conversation. There is a fantastic
attained just by using your God-given common sense and creative open air market in Round Top, TX coming up next month. Make the trip and
imagination, and of course a few dollars here and there! Once you get some great buys on furniture and accessories! How about an interesting
have created your happy, safe and inviting environment you can step piece of architectural ironwork on the wall ($50 to $500)? The Texas Hill
back and decide if you really want to sell your home or wait for Country is full of great affordable ironwork
the perfect buyer to appear on your doorstep, at the exact moment pieces. Find them in Boerne, Greune,
interest rates drop to their all time lows! Perfecto! Fredricksburg and Wimberly. Choose
Ok… I want you to go to your personal “Observation Place”. something to put beside the entry that
Your “Observation Place” is that place in your mind that you can conveys the feeling that the people
look at things objectively without attachment. Get a pad of paper who live there really care about
and a pencil. Walk outside all the way to the curb of the road that their home.
meets the front yard of your home. Close your eyes and take 2 Next regard the look and size
deep breaths. Inhale, exhale, inhale exhale… now slowly open of your front entry porch lights. Are
your eyes. Shhh! Remember, no emotion here, you are in your they in scale with the size of your front
‘Observation Place”. How does your front yard look? Does it need
continued on page 13
mowing? Remember, any dead plants? No, no, no! Where is the
color? What about a decorative clay urn or a pot containing planted
flowers of the season gracing the walkway (avg. $75 to $150)? And
what about the walkway? Maybe you could use some concrete stain
and liven it up a little (avg. $200) or install some brick or stone
pavers set in sand (avg.
$600). Remember, you
are creating the feeling of
“Welcome to my home!”
Continue to the front door.
Does it appear freshly painted
in a deep rich color like a warm
rusty brown, a blue-jay blue, an
aged- barn red or an oregano
green? (Paint your door avg. $50
to $150). A newly stained front
door that enhances the grain or
other designs in the wood is
always inviting and makes the
first statement of the type of
quality people will expect to
Sonoma Bar and Grill Calamari was quite good, with a ginger sauce
Sometimes the more mundane locations on the side. I was impressed.
can house some pretty darn good food. We I tried two dishes for my main entrees.
First, I had the old fashioned pepperoni pizza
have the Welfare Café, which is half the size of
170 South Main Street, Suite 200
on flatbread. Again, these are easy dishes for
your living room, and is located approximately
Boerne, Texas 78006
a fresh start
in the middle of nowhere, has some of the cooks to skimp. Some cheap cheese, frozen
830.248.1353 most exquisite food in the Hill Country. 814crusts, and skimpy toppings ruin a dish. The
www.cypressgrilleboerne.com Bistro up in Comfort is in a pretty visible pizza was nicely topped, and the cheese was
tremendous. It must have been freshly-grated.
location, but is in a very sleepy little town. It
• Extensive Wine List • New Main Street Entrance • 12 Beers on Tap The sauce was homemade, and the crust might
is also putting some beautiful dishes together.
Heck, even Bumdoodlers, which makes some have been frozen, but I couldn’t tell. It was
a solid pizza, and one that rivals some of our
of the greatest sandwiches on this earth, is in
The Dodging Duck a dingy little building with no parking and better-known pizza places in town.
My second dish was the Crab Stuffed
cheap chairs. It’s not always the building or
Restaurant & Brewery Tilapia. Obviously a more complicated dish,
the presentation, but it always comes down to
the FOOD. my wait was a bit excessive, but was worth
featuring an Sonoma Bar and Grill, located right it. Using fresh crab, this dish was really the
eclectic wine list behind Fair Oaks Ranch at the corners of crown jewel of the weekend. Again, any fish
dish has a large margin of error. Undercooked
and delicious, Dietz-Elkhorn and Ralph Fair Rd. is taking a
or overcooked, the dish can easily be ruined.
rather basic location and churning out some
freshly-prepared darn good food. In the previous location of My dish on this evening was cooked expertly,
food the short-lived La Vista Grill, the Sonoma and the Cajun cream sauce topping finished
it off perfectly. My wonderful glass of wine
Bar and Grill has some great visibility. Upon
Open Daily at 11am entering, I promise you’ll be impressed. Thepaired nicely with the dish, and the smile on
Sun-Thurs ‘til 9pm Fri-Sat ‘til 10pm owners have taken their time with the layoutmy face was growing.
402 River Road Boerne, Texas (4 blocks from Main St.) Sonoma Bar and Grill is one of those
and design, and it shows. Near the front door
places that outwardly doesn’t necessarily grab
is a great bar, which looks as if it should be in
www.dodgingduck.com your steering wheel and force you to park.
an upscale steakhouse. High stools all around,
and an impressive selection of liquors and For what it lacks in eye-catching graphics, it
makes up for with a very warm and inviting
beers. Artworks adorn the building, and aren’t
haphazard. They actually fit the décor, and dining room, friendly staff, great ambiance,
add to it. and of course, some darn good food.
Seating is spacious, with the central Get out there and EXPLORE this month.
If you find a great place we need to know
portion of the space filled with freestanding
about…tell us. info@hillcountryexplore.com.
tables and chairs, and clean white linens. The
outside of the dining room has a more intimate Bon Appétit!
booth-seating option, and the booths are clean
and private. Our waiter met us at the door, and
showed us to one of the booths.
The offerings at Sonoma are about what
you’d expect. Standard appetizer dishes, and
main dishes that have a slight lean toward an
Italian flair. Burgers, sandwiches, and some
seafood complete the menu. I started with
Fried Calamari. You can tell a lot about a
restaurant by their Calamari. If it’s frozen and
pre-battered, it will be a long night. Sonoma’s
door? Most people make the mistake of putting too exterior lights beside the door. The garage lights Lee Anne Keim has owned her own interior
small of exterior lights on either side of their front are usually 1/3 to ½ the size of the front entry lights. design firm for over 20 years, in 3 different states.
She has clients nationally and is the President of
door. Whatever the width of the wall space between They can be a different, but complimentary in style,
Keim & Martin, Ltd. Located at 703B South Main
the door and the next architectural element on the and should be a very close finish to the front entry Street in Boerne, TX. 830-249-1552. Keim &
front of your home is the allowable size of front lights. Make sure your garage door(s) are freshly Martin, Ltd. Won the 2007 Summit award for
light fixture you can use. This width is usually 14 painted or stained and your driveway is in good Best Interior Design in the category $750K and
inches to 24 inches. Be sure to determine how the shape. up, and she also won the 1st Place Award in the
National F. Schummacher Dream Bedroom Design
height of the fixture from the back plate attaching to Finally, walk the perimeter of your home and
interiors
Contest. She and her company offer complete
the wall, and the length of the fixture will relate to look up at the facia/soffit and gutters. Look for any design services in addition to custom building
your door. Don’t forget to use non-glaring bulbs, or evidence of water damage, either from overflowing new homes. The company’s expertise ranges
even consider candle-light looking bulbs, or better gutters or lack of gutters. Check your roof for any from blueprint analysis, new construction and
still natural gas lit lanterns that you can turn on damage to the shingles, metal or tiles. Repair, remodeling to full scale interior design. You can
email any design, remodeling, or building questions
and off with the flip of a switch. There are some replace, repaint, restain and revarnish and feel
you would like to ask her at: lakeimid@gvtc.com.
gorgeous “Dark Sky” light fixtures available in all Renewed!
styles that will not interfere with night gazing at the Look for the #2 best thing you can do to create
beautiful Texas Stars and also will not make your your own stimulus package for your home in the
neighbors angry with you because your lights are next issue of Explore!
shining in their eyes while they are trying to go to
sleep! The color finish of hardware on your front Bon Decoration!
door should match or compliment the finish on your LA
SalonInfusion
1433 S. Main Street • Suite 105 • Boerne, Texas 78006 • 830-816-5354
www.saloninfusion.com
Hours Mon 9am-5pm • Tues - Fri 9am - 8 pm • Sat 9am - 6pm
san antonio
n r o y’s
o
C ub i
Boerne
P
D Live Music
Saturday Nights
D Karaoke
D Daily Lunch Specials
Wednesday Nights
D Executive Chef – Jim
Barajas of Casbeer’s!! www.conroysirishpub.com
Nature Camp
It’s Springtime!
Art Camp
M-F 1:30pm - 4:30pm
June 8-12 Art Expedition
June 15-19 Eco-Imagination
June 22-26 Impress Me!
July 6-10 Garden Journals
July 13-17 Junk or Art?
July 20-24 Color Me Green
July 27-31 Cool Blue
Water Paintings
Welcome Home
Come home to Boerne’s newest gated townhome community filled with tons of Boerne
charm! Enjoy living in a beautiful town home and walk on over to use the swimming pool,
hot tub, BBQ area and our 24 hour fitness center. Meet your neighbors at Bingo night or
for Saturday morning homemade baking and fresh coffee while you read the morning paper. 830.331.4004 • 210.535.1355
Stay while you are building your dream home or stay indefinitely!
1000 Diamond Drive • Boerne, Texas
We are just minutes to the downtown shops and a short drive to interstate 10. Hope to see
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We care.
Delivering the finest
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• Skilled Nursing
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March 2009 www.hillcountryexplore.com 14
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Featured Properties
2,215 Acres Edwards Co. 892 Acres LaSalle Co.
T
There is approximately four 1.3 miles of crystal clear river bottoms and this property is located only
80+/- miles NW of Boerne, TX. This historic ranch is located in Southern Edwards County, in the
heart of the Nueces Canyon and is blessed with one of the strongest live water creeks in Texas. The
ranch features Cedar Creek, a strong year- round constant flow stream that runs for approximately 1.3
T
This is a great opportunity to own 892 acres of the Santa Maria Ranch located in the heart of South
Texas only 15 miles from Cotulla, TX. This family owned, high-fenced ranch has been under a whitetail
management program for 10+ years. The ranch consists of native South Texas whitetails deer and many
other species of wildlife. The deer quality on the ranch is enhanced by a wide diversity of native South
miles through the rich fertile bottom land. The valley has huge native pecans, large live oaks and elm Texas brush and a good supply of water. The property has an abundance of quail, hogs, dove, bobcats,
trees throughout the expansive valleys on this exceptional ranch. It can only be described as “One of a and all that South Texas has to offer. The roads are well maintained which makes it easy to get around.
Kind”. From the stories of pioneers settling in the Cedar Creek Valley in the 19th century, to the amaz- The ranch house is a 3,000+/- sq. ft. metal building that is completely finished out with 5 bedrooms, 2
ing native Indian sites, geological features, subterranean caves and sink holes, this ranch is unique. It baths, a full kitchen, a large pantry, washer/dryer and a large living area which is perfect for entertaining
is a fossil and arrowhead hunters dream. Pinion Pines are scattered in the higher elevations along with family and guest. The ranch house will currently sleep up to 22 people and has about 1,200 sq. ft. of cov-
huge virgin oak & cedar stands which add to the scenic views from the abundant mountain top vistas! ered patios and a wooden deck for enjoying the beautiful South Texas sunsets. If you are an avid hunter
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, to make an investment that will last for generations to come! or you have family and friends that like to hunt, this is definitely the right place for you!
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The ranch is located in the most sought after area of the Texas Hill Country. From the large rock entrance to the
lovely 3 bedroom rock home, this property is gorgeous. The property is accessed from a paved farm to market road
F.M. 1623 and is only 5 miles west of Blanco, Texas. The amazing hilltop rock home overlooks a vast and scenic
countryside. The views are incredible and span across 30 to 40 miles. One can enjoy these fabulous views from
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This beautiful ranch is located only 35 miles south of downtown San Antonio, Texas. This is truly one of those you have to see to believe
ranches. It is by far one of the prettiest and productive ranches we have seen in Atascosa and surrounding counties. The rolling terrain of
the property gives it a feel of being much larger than it is. One of the highest points in the county is on this ranch lending itself to 20+mile
views. This ranch has been game managed for years in a low fence setting and it is common to see a number of white tail deer in the
the back porch area and from the swimming pool located in the back yard. The early 1900’s era German style rock 150-180+/- Boon & Crocket class range. The ranch also boasts of some of the best dove & turkey hunting in the area and this property
walls that populate the ranch add to the charm and beauty of this oak covered property. From the higher elevations is surrounded by large ranches. There is 2.25 miles of Atascosa river bottom that meanders through the southeastern corner of the ranch.
and vistas to the productive coastal filled fields along the creek bottom areas, this ranch has it all. The very produc- The fields have all been sprigged with coastal and Tifton 85 grasses. There is a very nice 3 bedroom 2 bath brick home on the ranch
tive fenced fields along the creek are utilized for cutting coastal hay and can be utilized for rotating livestock or with a 2 car garage. The house has approximately 1,800 sq.ft. of living area. There are also 2 sets of working cattle pens on the property.
horses for grazing. Wildlife is abundant on the ranch! The ranch has many live oaks, elm and some cedar trees. Whether you are a hunter, photographer, or just a nature lover, this place can satisfy all those desires.
Please visit our web site for more information at: www.SouthTexasRanches.com Please visit our web site for more information at: www.SouthTexasRanches.com
Cibolo Nature Center’s Mostly Native Plant Sale and Green Living While you are there you can also visit our information booths.
Fair Sponsored by Culligan Southwest Water Coming Up Soon Experts will be on hand to answer questions about such topics as water
Each year, for 19 years now, the Cibolo Nature Center has hosted the conservation and proper pruning, wildscape gardening, composting, and
plants
Mostly Native Plant Sale to help our community find the tried and true nest boxes for birds. There will be special activities for children, too.
plants that survive and even thrive in the hardships of the Hill Country. This year’s raffle will be an Electric Bike! Watch our website
These are plants that will attract birds and butterflies to your garden, too. for a chance to win this very fun and efficient bicycle. This is a fun
Where else would you find our local treasures like Eve’s Necklace or family event and a great way to enjoy a Saturday in spring. If you are
Turk’s Cap? interested in being a vendor or need more information check our website
Every spring I find that plants from the Plant Sale are the ones www.cibolo.org, call 830/249-4616 or e-mail nature@cibolo.org.
that come back in my garden. I recognize them like old friends, and I The Cibolo Nature Center is located on 100 acres of green space in
remember the friends I bought them from. Here come the brave little Boerne, Texas. The CNC mission is conservation of natural resources
shoots of the Indigo Spires Salvia I got from Tommy, there is the sturdy through education and stewardship. The Cibolo Nature Center is located
Evergreen Sumac I got from Chuck, the wild rose from Mary celebrates in Boerne City Park off Highway 46, just west of the Kendall County
in the garden every year. These loyal plants are my favorites. Fairgrounds.
Each booth represents a different nursery or grower. These are the
experts in the region, so not only can you find the perfect plants, you can
also get the best advice. All the vendors at our Mostly Native Plant Sale
generously donate a portion of their sales to the Cibolo Nature Center to Cibolo Nature C
help us with our educational programming.
This year the Mostly Native Plant and Green Living Fair is expanding 1 9 t h A n n ua l M e n t e r ’ s
to help our community to find other ways to be friendly to the environment.
We will have vendors with electric bicycles, compost, garden tools, rain o
Plan t Sale & G st ly Native
barrels and much more for your new green lifestyle.
Where: K
endall Co
r e en Living Fair
Date: Ap unty Fair
ril 4, 200 gro
9 • Time: unds, Boerne, TX
Cost: $5
per car a 9 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Member dmission
s Only P
re
Friday A -Sale and Recep
pril 3, 5- tion
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You’ve seen our work – now see what we can do for you!
Logo design • Brochures • Postcards • Business cards
and Much more!
Give us a call! 210-507-5250
Publishers of:
Boerne Business Monthly,
Cordillera Ranch Living, and Explore
www.westvita.com
March 2009 www.hillcountryexplore.com 20
21
My Boerne
A Personal Perspective
by Marjorie Hagy
I’ve been stuck at the hospital in Temple, home by the midwife over on E. Highland Street, likelihood of the existence of the labyrinth of
Texas for the last week or two and so I haven’t before it was paved. tunnels underneath Main Street from the Junior
been able to do any research on stuff I was I digress – which, by the way, is the best way High to the City Hall – oh, how I still HOPE they
thinking of writing about. I was kinda cookin’ to tell something, and hear something told. (My exist down there! I guess we had time left over
something up about Cascade Caverns, maybe, or advice to young authors: DIGRESS! What the coming back to school from a field trip once, so
about old beer joints in town I wished I’d been hell?!) our bus detoured out to where they were building
history
to. But instead, I’ve been in this place, flat on So, I’m a Boerne kid, and I grew up in this the dam and putting in the lake out Upper Cibolo
my back, which – they say- - is where everything little patch of the world, cruising Main Street Road. We 7th graders stood up on the rim looking
is looking up! And so, out of necessity, and with on Saturday nights, and learning 6th grade math down at the bulldozers and trucks at work below.
your indulgence, I’ll spin you a little piece of under the tutelage of Mr. White, who smoked There was an outbuilding down at the bottom,
personal history this month, instead. a cigar in class as he pondered about building weathered gray and clustered round with its
I’m a Boerne kid, born and bred – well, to be space craft in the back yard and dispensed prairie clutch of farm fellows, a cistern, bit of fence, a
strictly honest, I was born down the road at the justice out in the hall with his 3 foot paddle. grip of trees – all to be disappeared when they let
Nix. But I got here as soon as I could. There We sang about the oceans and the plains in our the river back in, down there still, for all I know,
are actually lots of REAL born-in-Boerne kids red, white, and blue clothes in Mrs. Tibbett’s at the bottom of the lake – that little tableau held
my age that came into town at Dr. Diamond’s 5th grade production and dissected frogs for Mr. in place by the water, like a snow globe, my
hospital, that little building right next door to Cleaton, went parking behind the cemetery, got secret with the lake.
the Bear Moon Bakery. Two of my own kids chased down by Earl Buck, rang the bell outside
too, are also authentic Boerne issue, delivered at the Baptist Church on Main Street, debated the continued on page 23
The Look
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Exit 551 Across from Rudy’s Bar-B-Q 210-698-3318
22 See it. Breathe it. Live it. EXPLORE it.
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$410,000 - 3 bed, 2.5 bath on 4.76 acres in $279,000 - Fair Oaks 2 bed, 2.5 bath garden
Stagecoach Hills. 2600 s.f. plus large shop. home on the golf course. Approx. 2240 s.f.
Fenced, gated and paved driveway. Long of living area & 4 decks/balconies to enjoy
circular drive. the views.
us. You’ve seen us all over. I’m the one with the anymore, refusing to budge off the sofa? I did it when he realizes he’s the richest man in town.
kids – my 5 and my sister’s 2, 5 Fritz cousins and a million times, and so has anyone who ever had And the bell ringing? That’s Marj getting her
whoever else happened to be along. My sister to sludge through something difficult. wings, because God took me to a place where I
and I have always been a sort of weird “Where’s When I woke up from a five-week coma almost didn’t exist anymore, and now I’m back
Waldo” couple who turn up in the background of and my dad hovered into my line of sight on this side and I KNOW how precious this gift
every famous Boerne event, like a pair of Forrest asking “Do you know what day this is?”, yeah, is.
Gumps. When the KKK turned up to spew hate I had a feeling that something unusual and not I used to think that being where you truly
on the steps of the old courthouse, that was me necessarily good had taken place. And I was hit belong was just about as close to true happiness
and my sister in the crowd shots, holding signs almost immediately with how UNFAIR it was – I as it is possible to be, but now I know different.
that said “Take your 3-legged dog and go back to had to let God know about some things he’d kind If I’d have woken up from that coma, plunked
Vidor!” and “Shut up, Hillbilly!” of overlooked….I didn’t have any money, I only down in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I’d have been where
Last year – well actually, it was in October had an expensive rental house I could barely I was truly supposed to be, if my kids and my
2007 – on a perfectly normal day, after I’d put keep, in a town I deeply LOVE and where all my sister and my family were there and that’s where
in a day’s work at Bumdoodler’s, I was sitting family are, and now I couldn’t even work and I God had put me. Yeah, I’m in the hospital again,
around waiting for my sister to come over, and had a tracheotomy tube stuck in my neck, and and there are other snags and hitches bound to
I suddenly got sick. Now, I’m not a person then I wrecked my car, and then…and then… come yet, but I know this much is true: God is
who goes to the doctor right away….When I And God will ALWALYS, ALWAYS meet good, and has given me all I ever need and all I
DO get sick, my usual protocol is to wait and you on your road and hold you in the palm of ever wanted. My God is the God of Hope.
see if something falls off and THEN go see if His hand, just as gently as though you’re a little MH
something can be done about reattaching it. But bird, all spindly…fragile, splintery bones held in
THAT sick had a kind of urgency behind it that a precarious bundle of daubs of wet feathers. I
impelled me down to the clinic right away. That
was on a Wednesday. The last thing I remember
was the ambulance door closing on my sister’s
worried face, and vaguely wondering how she’d
heard something was wrong with me.
On that Friday, they were calling my kids out
of school and my people to come to the hospital
to say “goodbye” cuz my systems were shutting
down and I was dying. I haven’t written about
this before, and I never really intended to – it’s a
lot harder to go back to that time than I thought.
There was a time right after I recovered when
my family had to tell their stories to me, an act
of catharsis, of bearing witness, laying out their
terror and their helplessness in walking next to
me through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,
and those stories were exquisitely painful – They
were touched by the too-bright, too-vivid, day-
glo sheen of fever and nightmare, and their glare
honest and answer as such. I tend to be quite honest even family. They went off on adventures, or to
with myself, but I also tend to beat myself up. fight wars, or to hunt, or even the trip to town would
I convince myself I’m not very good at, well, much be a two-day event. Whatever it was, they were able
of anything, and that I’m always on the verge of to lie down under a cloudless sky at night, listen to a
some massive failure. I tend to harbor resentments crackling fire, and behold the stars in the sky. When
that just fester. As my wife tells me, I tend to live was the last time you were truly alone?
“in a spirit of fear”. Like always, she’s right. As I said, my job requires me to interact with
This is where my little trips come in. I must go, people all day long, and so it’s incredibly refreshing,
and release a few demons. and strange, to not utter a single syllable for 3 days.
On this particular trip, I’ve learned a thing or I spend the entire time hiking and smelling the air,
I write this month’s spiritual article from the two that I thought I’d share. One is that we’re hard or fishing and daydreaming as I stare across the
spiritual
banks of beautiful Lake LBJ up near Marble Falls. on ourselves. At least most of us are. Some of us water and listen to the waves kissing the underside
I’m sitting beside a small campfire, there’s a light are cool to stumble around our lives, knocking over of the dock. I read books, write, and think. I dream,
breeze blowing, and it’s cold. I’ve got a steaming vases. Most of us though, try to keep to the straight and I pray. I basically am able to reconnect to the
cup of coffee next to me, the occasional bird squeaks and narrow. For me, if I veer off course, I tend to human being inside of me, and not the working
by, and other than that, it’s silent. I’m in heaven. take it quite hard, and I think that’s not right. So on drone we all tend to become. I remember that life
Each year I like to go on a little trip like this. this trip, I’m trying to learn how to release myself is not always quarterly reports, or sales projections,
I pick a weekend, kiss my wife and kids, and run of some of that burden, and I would encourage you or management. It is a bird singing from a great big
off by myself to just go and be still. It’s not some to do the same. I think that sometimes we have to oak. It is the sounds of the fire beside me. It is the
profound idea, but we all are too busy. I am no remember that we’re not perfect, and to not strive wind as it blows through a tree. It’s the stars in the
different. My job requires me to talk all day long, to be. I know that if we would only follow all the sky, and the waters of the lake. It’s the adventure
and to always be “on”, and it grinds on me after rules in the Bible, we WOULD be perfect, but God of it all really. When we find quiet, we find God.
a while. I become snippy, I find myself pressed also tells us “All have sinned and fallen short of He has a loud voice, but you must listen for it. You
for the time to even pray, and that makes me even the glory of God.” With that knowledge, I need to must create the opportunity oftentimes to be still
snippier. So once a year, I load up my car with a remember about forgiveness. Sure, I sin, but thank and open your heart to His Word, and talk with Him.
tent, a sleeping bag, and a notebook to disappear God He’ll forgive me. When we trip, it’s better to I promise you won’t find it with a phone stuck to
from the world for a while. If I didn’t, I’m sure I’d simply stand up, dust ourselves off, and continue each ear, or with CNN blaring in your living room.
lose my mind. our walk. I don’t think God intends for us to trip, You will, however, find it in solitude.
I also come to talk with God. It’s my little and then spend days throwing a tantrum on the So get out there and find some solitude. And
self-evaluation time. We all look at ourselves ground because we made a mistake. while you’re there, cut yourself some slack.
occasionally and evaluate our progress as humans Secondly, we all need solitude. Throughout You’ll thank me later.
and as Christians. Where are you professionally? history, men and women have spent time alone.
Where are you as a Christian? Hopefully you’re I mean totally alone. No phones, internet, tv, and
g
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universe (or our American Economy) - no, indeed, there is way thanking all the weather powers that be that I don’t live in Minnesota, when I
too much wrong with that for my poor inadequate think-pan to noticed the large rosemary bush by the building sprigged out with dozens of
cope with. No, I long ago gave up any kind of youthful illusions tiny blue blossoms and that the entire plant was a-swarm with honey bees. Yes,
that I myself could offer up solution to the BIG PROBLEMS. The honey bees! There has been a serious shortage of the
wonders and mysteries rampant in the known universe are enough fine, helpful little critters of late to the point they’ve almost become extinct,
for an old geezer to contemplate. And, contemplate them I do on at least in our area of the world. But there they were buzzingly busy gathering
occasion when the moon phase is just right and I’m able to block pollen from the rosemary bush to take back to their unknown-to-me beehive,
out the sights and sounds of the everyday world. there to concoct some savory rosemary-flavored honey. Ever tasted rosemary
“Blocking out” is absolutely necessary, you see, for the honey? Neither have I, but I wouldn’t turn it down.
contemplation of what I nostalgically remember as “the Natu- — That’s the bee part of this story, and here’s the bird part:
ral Word”, so-called because it doesn’t relate to the “Un-natural Across good ol’ Hauptstrasse from me is the 100-year-old Adler building
World”, that is, all the accoutrements of modern day, everyday which has housed the Bergmann Lumber Company for umpty-ump years -
existence, i.e. cars, computers telephones televisions, etc. and the lovely old edifice. Atop the building are mortared stone crenellations, almost
frantic rush and noise which accompany la vida moderne. (Oh, I looking like castle battlements. (People used to care about gussying up their
realize most of you are thinking right now that cell phones and buildings, making works of art of them.)
Well, aside from me, I’ll tell you who else appreciates those crenellated
parapets - pigeons. (This is the actual bird part).
What funny creatures they are - just watch ‘em for a bit. They seem capable
of receiving messages from some unknown universal source as a flock (the
flock mentality?) I’ll explain: they are perched up there on the battlements,
all facing the same direction into the wind, which makes them a living
weather vane, and an accurate one too, as I’ve observed. They flutter
some and settle territorial disputes for a bit after they land up there.
The actual territory each bird occupies is maybe four square inches,
but it’s MINE, by gosh, so MOVE it, buster! Fuss, fuss, flutter,
flutter, peck!
All settled now, each bird is hunkered down and motion-
less. The time they
all roost varies in length, maybe fifteen minutes on aver-
age, then, reeving the MESSAGE, off the roof they go,
forming into pigeon formation, wheeling, soaring, do-
ing figure eights, circles and loops 50 or 100 feet
over the buildings and streets for maybe 3 or 4 min-
utes, then down they go to the top of Bergmann’s to
fuss, flutter and peck for a bit, then one by one, fac-
ing the wind, they roost as before. But wait! It’s no
easy, but a very rewarding task, to closely observe
and study the activities of two of our world’s most
beautiful and interesting creatures - the Birds and
the Bees. I recommend it to you, both for your own
enjoyment and for the credibility it’ll give you when
you’re called upon to explain to your children just what
it is that those everlasting critters do - they make honey
and they fuss and peck, but they fly with purpose.
what to do
Okay, we’ve all been there. I grew in so many ways during that time of “hopeful waiting” that it’s difficult to be
So you’re dating someone that you really enjoy and things are anything but grateful for it now.
getting serious when maybe you didn’t expect it to get serious so I honestly believe that as adults, it is healthy for us to suffer at least one heartache
quickly, but you really dig this person and you like the idea of a that comes in the form of a boyfriend or girlfriend… it helps us to grow and appreciate
future with them. things in life that we wouldn’t have ordinarily appreciated before. You’ve got to know
dating
You spend every moment together that you can. You send the bad stuff to fully appreciate the good stuff.
emails, texts and talk on the phone like you were a high-schooler In the midst of my heartache, I didn’t know I was growing because everything was
again. You couldn’t be happier or more excited to be alive with clouded by always looking for his car and awaiting every chance encounter, email and
this wonderful person in your life… this person you’ve been so text message (because they still came at random times, giving me some glimmer of
lucky to finally find after all the strife you’ve endured. You are hope). I learned that while I was terribly bruised inside, I was not broken.
finally being rewarded with love. In that dark time, I depended heavily on my friends that tried their best to keep me
And then one day, seemingly out of nowhere, he tells you from wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. I started reading the Bible for the first
he “needs space.” As you sit on your couch and you hear those time in my life. I found that I really enjoyed reading books other than self-help books.
words, everything around you starts to swirl and your chest feels I found new ways to keep myself occupied, and I finally quit thinking about him all
like an elephant is sitting on it. Tears burn in your eyes as they the time.
make their way to the surface. Four months of space later, I told him I was moving on. That may have meant
Then you say a bunch of stupid things that you really can’t nothing to him, but to me, it was monumental. I was who I wanted to be and where I
even hear coming out of your mouth… “Space? Okay, I’ll give wanted to be. And any man that needed space between us wasn’t worth a moment of
you space… how long do you need, ‘til next week? What is my thoughts. Period.
space? Are you breaking up with me? Why are you doing this? When and if you are faced with a significant other who says, “I need space,” run
What’s wrong with me? I’ll change! You don’t need space!!! as fast as you can. Give yourself a couple days to mourn – a week at tops – and then
Please, NO!!!” move on. You are amazing and wonderful and need to remember that the only person
Sound familiar? It should. Whether it’s “space” or “someone worthy of you wants to make sure that there is NO space between the two of you. And
else” or “it’s not you, it’s me,” getting dumped is something please remember, it’s not you, it really is them.
we’ve all had to deal with at some point in our lives. But don’t Here are some things to remember when you are faced with a break-up situation…
feel alone, we’ve all gone through it. And guess what? We I wish I’d known this when I was there, but life is all about learning.
survived. Email jordanrivers@hotmail.com
I know from personal experience the horrific pain of being
dumped. When it happened, I had to hold my misery inside and 1. When b
eing dumped, nev
keep a happy face plastered with a smile for my boys to see so er assume th
2. When d e problem is
that they wouldn’t know that Mom wanted nothing more than to umping som
eone, be cle
yours. Don’t
do it.
up.” Under n ar an
crawl in a hole dug out of self-pity and die. o ci rc u m d sa y, “I t’s o ve
is lame and w stances do yo r. We are bre
I would get them to school, and then cry the entire way eak and chic u say, “I need aking
ken. space…” be
3. When yo ca u se that
home, cry through putting my makeup on (lots of waterproof u get dumpe
loss. It’s not d , don’t waste
mascara) and then dry up the tears to go to work, where I once worth it. more than a
week mourn
again went through the motions of being happy. When the boys 4. When p ing this
resented wit
meet someo h th e opportunity
were with their dad, I’d get home from work and go straight to ne for coffee to go out on
You never k , don’t declin a blind date
bed. I hoped that my body would quit producing tears, but that now what m e even though or
ight transpir you are gun-s
never seemed to happen. 5. Do not, e. hy.
under any ci
The depression was worse than I ever suffered at any point they want is rcumstances,
a phone call contact the
of, much less from the pe Dumper. The
in my life… all because of a man that went through the happy ra rson they ar last thing
m b lin g emotional e trying to ge
temptation at e m ai ls t rid
motions and then suddenly decided he needed space and couldn’t all costs. Just or text mess
ages. Resist
don’t do it. the
date me anymore at that time… but never said the words “it’s 6. Remem
ber that this
yourself. Tak h e artache is an
over” or “break up” so I clung to the hope of his return for e advantage opportunity
of it. Find ho to le
months. That hardly seems fair, does it? It wasn’t. love you firs
t. bbies and new arn more about
interests. Le
I’m not bitter about that whole experience. Ironically, I’m 7. Always arn to
remember th
and want yo at yo u r friends are
grateful for it. I learned a lot during that time… I learned who u happy. And there for yo
tell you they if they are tr u. They love
I was deep down inside because I thought that there really need space. uly your frie
nds, they will
you
was something wrong with me for him to need “space.” I did never
everything I could to really figure out what made Jordan tick.