3
Frank Appleyard
Letters Cowardly coverage victims in Fahrenheit 9/11, which was
shown at the university when it came
Re: “U of O bans pro-Palestinian out, because they would provoke an-
group’s posters” (News, Feb. 25) ti-Americanism? Or do we refuse to
I AM WRITING this letter in re- show films of Holocaust victims be-
sponse to your very flawed articles cause they would promote anti-Ger-
regarding the banning of the Israeli man discrimination? Of course not!
Apartheid poster by the university. That would be horrible censorship of
News editor Emma Godmere historical fact. Yet, this is the classic
wrote in a column that, while she has cry of Israel supporters who wish to
little knowledge of the intricacies of deflect criticism of their policies; a
the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, she cry you are ultimately echoing.
believes the posters are inflammatory Though I fully appreciate that re-
and seemingly supports the univer- garding this issue people will rag on
sity’s decision. She claims that Israeli you from either side no matter what
Apartheid Week will continue to hap- you write, I think your coverage was
pen, so what’s the problem with ban- cowardly. More courageous coverage
ning their poster? Well, these posters may have offended a historically hor-
have the ability to reach a broader au- ribly oppressed group that has unfor-
dience than the simple event for this tunately seen a part of its population
week, since oftentimes, as everyone transformed into terrible oppressors
knows, these events tend to largely in Israel (which many Israelis cou-
amount to preaching to the converted, rageously oppose). On the side you
whereas the uninterested and unin- chose however, you are complicit in
formed, such as Godmere, may notice marginalizing comment on the kill-
the posters hung up around campus ing of more than 400 innocent chil-
and take enough interest to find out if dren. Some things are worth receiv-
what’s depicted on the poster is in fact ing angry mail over.
happening, as Godmere should have Jonathan Williams
done. What’s really missing is the Second-year international
brave mention that over 400 children development student
were killed in the recent Israeli “inter-
vention” in Gaza, making the poster’s The wrong approach
image pure fact, multiplied by 400!
But what would be still more im- Re: “Staying Safe in Sandy Hill”
portant to address is this question of (News, Feb. 25)
whether depicting the sort of crime I WAS DISAPPOINTED that, in its
committed by the Israeli forces incites reporting on the prevalence of sexual
anti-Semitism, which is what the uni- assault in Sandy Hill, the Fulcrum
versity is insinuating. Did we ban the chose to focus on policing and re-
far more provocative images of Iraqi stricting women’s freedom of move-
Contents
News Students file lawsuit
against U of O
Plaintiffs claim university “derailed” research by
closing Rancourt lab. p. 4
p. 4 Students organize a well-attended debate on
abortion. p. 5
Overthrowing EMI
Arts Peter Henderson and Nick Rudiak look
into Cherrypeel.com and digital music distri-
bution. p. 9
Justin Farinaccio reviews the Gladstone
p. 9 Theatre production of Doubt. p. 9
Still alive
Sports
Women’s basketball to make first trip to
national championship since 2004. p. 15
Sandy Hill Winter Classic features some pond
p. 15 hockey for a good cause. p. 15
Feature Knock-knock
Who’s there? An article about comedy in Ot-
tawa. Knock-knock jokes are stupid. p. 12–13
You’ve spent a year in residence sleeping with
your floormates, and things are getting hairy.
p. 12
Di can help. p. 20
March 5–11, 2009
ment and agency over their own
choices. The article suggests tips on
avoiding sexual violence, which in-
clude walking along in pairs along a
“planned route”. As a 20-year-old uni-
versity student, I should feel capable
of walking myself home from class on
streets that I did not take time to map
out beforehand. The fact that I could
be at risk of attack is not because I
have not taken the proper precau-
tions to keep myself safe, but because
of the systemic issues of male violence
and sexual assault. Yet nowhere in the
article was there discussion of the po-
licing of the perpetrators of the crime;
perhaps men should be advised to
stay indoors, avoid parties, and be
walked home by authorities to avoid
the possibility of raping women.
I also take issue in advising women
to “monitor their alcohol consump-
tion”, which not only leads to the
shaming and guilting of assault sur-
vivors, but falsely suggests that the
most significant barrier in convicting
rapists is inadequacy of the victim’s
testimony. Unfortunately, there is no
way to protect oneself against rape; it
occurs far too frequently and indis-
criminately. To insinuate that those
who have suffered attacks is by fault
of their own carelessness is false, de-
grading, and counter-productive.
Victoria Sands
Third-year women’s studies student
An open letter to the SFUO executive
MARCH 1 WAS a sad day for the stu-
dents at the University of Ottawa. On
that day the Student Federation of the
University of Ottawa’s (SFUO) mem-
bers voted to condemn the U of O
administration for banning a poster.
This poster features a warplane with
the word “Israel” written on it firing
a rocket at a child who is wearing a
kaffiyeh and holding a teddy bear, his
shadow spelling “Gaza”. This poster
demonizes several groups of students
on campus, including Israeli students,
most Jewish students, and any other
student who believes in Israel’s right
to exist and right to defend itself, im-
plying that they support the murder
of children.
The SFUO seems to have forgotten
a key element of their constitution,
found under the heading “statement
of principles” which states, “We, the
undergraduate students of the Uni-
versity of Ottawa, feel the need to
speak with one voice in asserting our
legitimate needs and, for that pur-
Business Department
The Fulcrum, the University of Ottawa’s inde-
pendent English-language student newpaper,
is published by the Fulcrum Publishing Society
(FPS) Inc., a not-for-profit corporation whose
members consist of all University of Ottawa
students. The Board of Directors (BOD) of the
FPS governs all administrative and business
actions of the Fulcrum and consists of the fol-
lowing individuals: Ross Prusakowski (Presi-
dent), Andrea Khanjin (Vice-President), Tyler
Meredith (Chair), Peter Raaymakers, Nick Tay-
lor-Vaisey, Toby Climie, Scott Bedard, Andrew
Wing, and William Stephenson.
To contact the Fulcrum’s BOD,
contact Ross Prusakowski at (613) 562-5261.
Editor-in-Chief
editor@thefulcrum.ca
pose, we recognize The Student Fed-
eration of the University of Ottawa
(SFUO) as the instrument of political
action of the undergraduate student
population.” Notice that this doesn’t
say “we the undergraduate left-wing
students” or “we the undergraduate
students who are pro-Palestinian”.
No, the constitution of the SFUO says
“we, the undergraduate students”. All
of us. The executive seems to have
forgotten that they are accountable to
all students, regardless of political af-
filiation, religious belief, or ideology.
So when that same executive elects
to put up a poster that demonizes a
certain group of students, those very
students who they have been elected
to represent, we have a problem. The
SFUO needs to understand that they
are accountable to all undergraduate
students and that means that they are
responsible for ensuring that the right
to freedom of speech of some stu-
dents does not take precedence over
all students’ right to a sense of safety
on campus.
The administration, in banning
this poster is not stifling anybody’s
freedom of speech. The parties in-
volved are still holding their events,
and have been allowed to put up post-
ers that are moderately less likely to
incite hatred.
I would like to applaud the admin-
istration for their bravery in banning
this poster. I hope that the SFUO
will be able to put their personal or
political agendas aside and do their
job properly, representing all of their
students.
Rebecca Margel
Fourth-year biology student
Free speech?
I FIND IT utterly detestable that the
University of Ottawa would have the
audacity to disallow the practice of
free speech on campus. I am refer-
ring in particular to the administra-
tion’s recent decision to ban post-
ers promoting the upcoming Israeli
Apartheid Week (IAW) on campus.
What is even more detestable is the
administration’s reference to human
rights as a justification for its actions.
The U of O’s communications office
sent a communiqué to the group Soli-
darity for Palestinian Human Rights,
which reads in part: “A poster from
the campus group Solidarity for Pal-
estinian Human Rights has recently
come to the attention of the Commu-
nications Office. All posters approved
Advertising Department
Deidre Butters, Advertising Representative
phone: (613) 880-6494
fax: (613) 562-5259
e-mail: ads@thefulcrum.ca
Check out our rate card online.
Go to www.thefulcrum.ca and
follow the link for “Advertisers”.
Multi-market advertisers:
Campus Plus: (800)265-5372
Campus Plus offers one-stop shopping for over
90 Canadian student
newspapers.
The Fulcrum is a proud member of
Canadian University Press:
www.cup.ca
by the Communications Office must
promote a campus culture where
all members of the community can
play a part in a declaration of human
rights recognizing the inherent dig-
nity and equal rights of all students.
Consequently, we will not place this
particular poster on our campus bill-
boards.”
In fact, the very purpose of Is-
raeli Apartheid Week is to speak out
against human rights abuses and in-
form others of what is taking place
in Palestine. The week is meant to be
one of educating the general popula-
tion, which is what a university is all
about.
I call upon the U of O to recognize
the inherent dignity and equal rights
of all students, stop this ridiculous
censorship, and allow the IAW pro-
motional posters to be posted on
campus.
In the words of the American his-
torian Henry Steele Commager: “The
fact is that censorship always defeats
its own purpose, for it creates, in the
end, the kind of society that is inca-
pable of exercising real discretion.”
Shawn Smith
Fourth-year English student
Due to space constrains, we were un-
able to print all letters received this
week. Visit thefulcrum.ca/letters to
read the others.
thefulcrum.ca poll
This week’s question
What do you think of the
U of O’s decision to ban
the Israeli Apartheid Week
poster?
Great move:
Terrible decision:
Unsure:
Last week’s results
Have you attended a Gee-
Gees game this year?
Yes: 40%
No: 60%
Got something to say?
Send your letters to
editor@thefulcrum.ca
Letters deadline: Sunday, 1 p.m.
Letters must be under 400 words unless
discussed with the editor-in-chief.
Drop off letters at 631 King Edward Ave. or
email
editor@thefulcrum.ca.
Letters must include your name, telephone
number, year, and program of study. Pseud-
onyms may be used after consultation with the
editor-in-chief. We correct spelling and gram-
mar to some extent. The Fulcrum will exercise
discretion in printing letters that are deemed
racist, homophobic, or sexist.
We will not even consider hate literature or
libellous material. The editor-in-chief reserves
the authority on everything printed herein.
 4
Emma Godmere

News March 5–11, 2009

News Editor
news@thefulcrum.ca

Students file lawsuit SFUO backs

against U of O freedom of
expression
BOA passes motion
to defend
fundamental right
by Emma Godmere
Fulcrum Staff

A HEATED DEBATE surrounding freedom of

expression opened the Student Federation of the
University of Ottawa’s (SFUO) Board of Admin-
istration meeting on March 1.
Faculty of Social Sciences representative Amy
Kishek brought forward a motion at the begin-
ning of the meeting that aimed to ensure the
SFUO’s support for freedom of expression. The
BOA voted to include it at the top of the agenda.
The motion cites the SFUO’s statements of
principle, where the SFUO shall “establish a
framework whereby its members can share ex-
periences, skills and ideas, communicate, ex-
change information and debate” as reason for
“vigorously [defending] the principles of free-
dom of expression as a fundamental right for
every student”. The motion further states that
the SFUO must “[communicate] its concern
with the administration’s position to prohibit
a poster and lobby the administration accord-
ingly”.
Kishek indicated that the Solidarity for Pal-
estinian Human Rights (SPHR) campus group,
that posted the Israeli Apartheid Week poster
that was banned by the U of O’s communi-
cations office on Feb. 17, approached her to
present the motion. The poster and the Israel-
photo by Liam Kennedy-Slaney Palestine conflict in general ended up being the
Students attempted to deliver the official document outlining their lawsuit against the U of O to President Allan Rock on Feb. 24. subject of a large portion of the BOA debate
their contractual, administrative and statutory particular, in order to continue my research un- surrounding the motion as audience members
obligations and have caused pecuniary and ir- interrupted, and to ensure that other students present from the campus’s Palestinian and Jew-
Plaintiffs claim reparable harm to the plaintiffs,” read the claim. do not get treated this way in the future.” ish communities also commented on the SFUO
university “derailed” Slater declined to comment.
During a Feb. 24 press conference in Tabaret
Kelly echoed similar sentiments.
“Given the subject of my research project, I
taking a stance on the freedom of speech and
expression issue.
research Hall, the plaintiffs’ lawyer, Yavar Hameed, spoke will not be able to complete the project if Dr.
about the situation. Rancourt is removed as my supervisor,” he said
Rebecca Margel, former president of Jewish
group Hillel Ottawa, was given speaking rights
by Amanda Shendruk “I am here on a very grave and serious occa- in an email. “No one has the equivalent exper- at the meeting to read a letter she had sent to the
Fulcrum Staff sion,” he said to a crowd of 20. “It is not a normal tise … in the city, province, or country; there- SFUO the night before, blasting them for allowing
course of action for students to take legal pro- fore, I chose to file a lawsuit in order to pursue the posters to be put up.
ON FEB. 24, two University of Ottawa graduate ceedings against an administration and against my claim that the university has breached the “The SFUO needs to understand that they are
students and a post-doctoral research associate professors within the administrative establish- contract they have with me (to provide the accountable to all undergraduate students and
filed a lawsuit against the U of O alleging that ment of an academic institution.” best conditions for excellent education and re- that means that they are responsible for ensuring
“their academic and research careers have been On Dec. 3, Dang, employed by the U of O search).” that the right to freedom of speech of some stu-
frustrated and/or derailed” due to the Dec. 10 since 1996, had her contract renewed with the U The three plaintiffs are seeking $50,000 in dents does not take precedence over all students’
suspension of physics professor Denis Rancourt of O to continue research in the Rancourt labo- damages, and Kelly and Hickey are addition- right to a sense of safety on campus,” she said.
and the closure of his laboratory. ratory. Upon closure, however, Dang could not ally requesting the reinstatement of Professor Regardless of some of the concerns that were
Filed with the Ontario Superior Court of access her data or research, and stopped receiv- Rancourt as their graduate supervisor and ac- raised with the motion, surrounding inclusivity and
Justice, the claim listed graduate students Sean ing her pay from the university. cess to the closed lab in order to continue re- having a peaceful community on campus, Kishek
Kelly and Joseph Hickey, along with research Kelly and Hickey both claim that without search. was pleased the motion was passed.
associate Miezhen Dang, as the plaintiffs. They Rancourt as their supervisor and access to the U of O President Allan Rock, who accepted “I am very proud of the decision the board
have directed their legal action against Dean of laboratory, they will not be able to continue their the claim on behalf of the university, did not go made yesterday,” she said via email. “It goes
the Faculty of Graduate and Postdoctoral Stud- research due to its highly specialized nature and into detail about the university’s response to the beyond this poster. It’s a fundamental issue re-
ies Gary Slater, Dean of the Faculty of Science Rancourt’s expertise in the subject. lawsuit. garding the freedom of speech of students on
André Lalonde, and the University of Ottawa. “My main motivation for taking legal action “I’m not going to discuss the details [of the our campus. Banning these posters would have
“In locking down the Rancourt laboratory and is that my research supervisor, Denis Rancourt, claim] because the lawyers will have to deal with set a dangerous precedent. I hope the support of
separating the Plaintiffs from the guidance and is being removed from me,” Hickey explained that,” he said. “But we are going to instruct our the BOA will strengthen the SFUO’s lobbying of
supervision of Professor Rancourt, the Plaintiffs via email. “I am pursuing this legal claim against lawyers to defend it vigorously.” the administration to reverse their decision and
state that the Defendants have acted contrary to the university, and deans Slater and Lalonde in —with files from Emma Godmere apologize to the affected students.”
 U of O earns $8.9 million for research
Four new Canada
Research Chairs
awarded to professors
by Amanda Shendruk
Fulcrum Staff
THE UNIVERSITY OF Ottawa has
secured $8.9 million in funding from
the federal government for the cre-
ation of four new Canada Research
Chairs, and the renewal of three more.
On Feb. 23, the U of O announced the
addition of the new chairs in the fields
of catalysis science for energy applica-
tions, global health, neuropsychiatry,
and native peoples and legal diver-
sity; and the renewal of the already-
existing chairs for health knowledge
transfer and renewal uptake, catalysis
using renewal nano-structured mate-
rials, and health equity.
“These are really important for
us,” said Gilles Morier, director of
research, grants, and ethics services.
“The Canada Research Chairs are
chairs that are created to either retain
or to attract some of Canada’s and
the world’s best scientists. They cov-
er all of the disciplines and they are
targeted at either senior people who
have already established themselves
as world-class researchers or at the
really hot up-and-comers that have
the potential to develop international
leadership.”
The Government of Canada estab-
lished the Canada Research Chairs
Program in 2000, with the aim of
creating 2,000 research positions in
universities across the country. Ac-
cording to the government’s website,
chairholders “improve Canadians’
depth of knowledge and quality of
life, strengthen the country’s interna-
tional competitiveness, and help train
the next generation of highly skilled
people through student supervision,
teaching, and the coordination of
other researchers’ work.”
The Canadian government in-
vests $300 million a year to ensure
the quality, accomplishment, and
longevity of the researchers and the
program. As of February 2009, there
are 1,831 Canada Research Chairs
at 70 universities. Specialists from
outside of Canada fill 31 per cent of
the chairs, and the male-to-female
ratio is 3 to 1. Since its initiation,
$2.29 billion has been spent on the
program.
“This was exciting news for the
University of Ottawa,” said Ruby
Heap, associate vp research at the U
of O. “I think it’s a testimony to the
research strength that we have at the
university, and to its position as a
leading research-intensive university.
The renewals and the new chairs will
of course contribute even further to
increasing research strength in the
designated areas.”
Tom Baker, new Chair in Cataly-
sis Science for Energy Applications,
indicated the progam highlights the
country’s accomplishments on the
whole, as well.
“The Canada Research Chairs
program has done a really great job
of helping Canada build excellence
in education and research in its uni-
versities,” he said via email. “Having
received a comprehensive education
in Canada that allowed me to pursue
exciting careers in the chemical in-
dustry and a large U.S. Department
of Energy National Lab, I am excited
Funding
to be awarded this Canada Research
Chair that now allows me to help bol-
ster Canadian research ... and to train
the next generation of Canadian sci-
entists.”
is worth
Baker joins U of O professors Ed-
ward J. Mills, Georg G. N. Northoff, between
$100,000
and Ghislain Otis to fill the newly ac-
quired Canada Research Chairs. The
renewed chairs will continue to be held
by Jeremy M. Grimshaw, Abdelhamid
Sayari, and Peter S. L. Tugwell. and $200,000
and can be
“We’re really thrilled about these,”
said Morier. “They matter to us be-
cause it allows us to intensify our re-
search in areas that are important to
us and that helps us in terms of our
renewed for
strategic plan, but it’s also really good
for our graduate students, because up to seven
years.
they get the opportunity to work with
some of the world’s top people, and
that’s something that a university re-
ally aspires to.”
The U of O now has 53 Canada Re- source: chairs.gc.ca
search Chairs.
—with files from Emma Godmere

The Fulcrum 2009–10

editorial board elections
The Fulcrum is holding elections for next year’s editorial board. If you have a passion for student
journalism, we have the opportunity for you!

Candidates must prepare a platform outlining their vision for the role they would like to play next
year. Platforms are due at 5 p.m. on the Friday prior to the election date of the position, and should
be emailed to editor@thefulcrum.ca. All elections will take place at the Fulcrum office at 631 King
Edward Ave. during the weekly staff meeting Thursdays at 2:30 p.m.

The election dates and platform deadlines are:

Position Election date Platform due

Editor-in-Chief March 5 -
Production Manager March 5 -
News Editor March 12 March 6
Sports Editor March 12 March 6
Arts & Culture Editor March 12 March 6
Executive Editor March 19 March 13
Features Editor March 19 March 13
Art Director March 19 March 13
The following Fulcrum staff are eligible to vote in the elections:
Frank Appleyard Jolene Hansell David McClelland Amanda Shendruk
Danielle Blab Andrew Hawley Ben Myers Len Smirnov
Hilary Caton Peter Henderson Michael Olender Alex Smyth
Laura Clementson Laurel Hogan Robert Olender Jessica Sukstorf
Katie Declerq Hisham Kelati Megan O’Meara Amlake Tedla-Digaf
James Edwards Danyal Khoral Anna Rocoski Nick Taylor-Vaisey
Kristyn Filip Sarah Leavitt Maria Rondon
Nicole Gall Jaclyn Lytle Martha Pearce
Emma Godmere Alex Martin Ross Prusakowski
For more information or to submit a platform, contact Frank Appleyard at editor@thefulcrum.ca

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.05.09 // NEWS // 5

 Abortion debate draws large crowd

U of O students and community members packed Arts 026 on Feb. 27 to watch an abortion debate co-hosted by Ottawa Students for Life. photo by Martha Pearce

by Megan O’Meara pro-life side of the debate was Stephanie Gray, child does not have a right to his mother’s body. sues. At other universities, such as the University
Fulcrum Staff executive director of the Canadian Centre for Sneddon was invited to speak by a former stu- of Guelph and the University of British Colum-
Bio-Ethical Reform, who argued that abortion is dent who had heard him discussing abortion in bia-Okanagan, pro-life clubs have been banned
ARTS HALL’S AUDITORIUM in room 026 was immoral because the unborn should be consid- class, and explained that he often discusses the or denied funding by student unions.
filled to capacity on Feb. 27 with students and ered as human as any other living person. Gray, issue with his students. “It’s nice to be able to point to cases like this
community members gathering to watch a de- who has previously defended her position in de- “I routinely teach this issue in some of my [debate at the U of O] and say it worked; we
bate on the morality of abortion co-hosted by bates against various abortion advocates across courses where it’s a natural part of the topic,” he don’t have to use just York as an example,” said
Ottawa Students for Life (OSFL) and the East- the country, explained that the U of O debate explained. “Given that there’s general interest Sneddon. “I think universities’ administrations
ern Catholic Chaplaincy of Ottawa. highlighted an important issue university stu- and that a university is a good place for ratio- might have legitimate worries here, but maybe
Rebecca Richmond, president of the pro-life dents should be concerned with. nal discourse and a respectful exchange of ideas, those worries are worth balancing with the like-
OSFL campus club, was thrilled with the turn- “A good number of abortions happen amongst that’s enough … to make this an important lihood of there being a good debate as opposed
out and interest in the event. university-aged women, so it’s essential that thing for university students to at least have a to a not so good one.”
“The simple fact that it was held was an the issue be opened up and discussed,” she ex- forum to think about it in.” Daniel Gilman, OSFL vice-president, ex-
achievement, and showed that the abortion de- plained. “Abortion really affects all of us ... even The Feb. 27 debate was of particular impor- pressed the club’s appreciation for their right to
bate is still alive and relevant on university cam- if women haven’t directly had abortions, women tance for OSFL, as it was successfully held during express their views on the issue as he wrapped
puses and in Canada,” she said. “It also showed and men will know ... their mothers, their sis- a time when other post-secondary institutions up the event.
that we can have a dialogue on such a controver- ters, their friends who have had abortions, and have limited their students’ ability to address the “While pro-life clubs and abortion debates
sial and emotionally charged issue in a respect- so in some way we’re all touched by it.” issue. In February 2008, an abortion debate was have been shut down throughout Canada, our
ful manner.” U of O philosophy professor Andrew Sned- cancelled at York University three hours before it university has proven that respectful and open
The two-and-a-half-hour event focused on don defended the pro-choice side of the debate, was scheduled to begin when the York Student debate is possible and is taking place on the sub-
the morality of abortion. Representing the arguing that abortion was permissible because a Centre Board of Directors cited equal-rights is- jects that are the most controversial.”
www.thefulcrum.ca

The minimum
wage is going up.
If you're an employer, here's what you need to know.
General Students under Liquor Server Hunting & Fishing Hunting & Fishing Homeworkers (people
Minimum Wage 18 and working not Guides: for less than Guides: for five or doing paid work in their
more than 28 hours five consecutive more hours in a day home for an employer)
per week or during hours in a day whether or not the
a school holiday hours are consecutive

Current
wage rate $8.75/hour $8.20/hour__ $7.60/hour $43.75 $87.50 110% of the minimum wage

Mar. 31, 2009 $47.50 $95.00

$9.50/hour $8.90/hour__ $8.25/hour 110% of the minimum wage
wage rate

On March 31, 2009, the general minimum wage will increase to $9.50 per hour from the current rate of $8.75 per hour.
To find out more about how the new minimum wage guidelines affect
employers and employees, call or visit the Ministry of Labour web site.

Paid for by the Government of Ontario

1-800-531-5551 www.ontario.ca/minimumwage
6 \\ NEWS \\ 03.05.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca
 News in brief
Vote of confidence

Pack it up and leave
Emma Godmere
News Editor
FOR THE THIRD time in as many
months, the University of Ottawa’s
Senate meeting on March 2 was can-
celled before it even began.
The monthly protests are almost
expected now. Suspended physics
professor Denis Rancourt, deregis-
tered student Marc Kelly, and gradu-
ate law student Mireille Gervais are
joined by the same group of 10 or
so U of O students and community
members to protest at every Senate
meeting that has attempted to be held
since January, forcing the proceedings
to be shut down by administrators ev-
ery single time.
Earlier on, their purpose for pro-
testing was understood: they were
pressuring the Senate to establish a
clear policy on allowing recording
devices at their public meetings after
Kelly was arrested when he attempted
to film the Dec. 1 meeting. Over a
dozen of these group members tried
to film the Jan. 12 meeting themselves
before U of O President Allan Rock
quickly cancelled the meeting. After
this incident, the university actually
responded to their protest: Rock end-
ed up meeting with SFUO VP Uni-
versity Affairs Seamus Wolfe to dis-
cuss Senate transparency, and shortly
after, the administration drafted a
recording policy and presented it to
the public for feedback before it was
to be brought to the Feb. 2 meeting.
All things considered, their protest
worked: the university reacted to the
group’s actions by creating a policy
that was not only going to address the
very thing they were fighting for, but
that was also up for public discussion
in which the group was more than
welcome to participate.
But apparently that wasn’t enough.
The same group arrived at Tabaret Hall
on Feb. 2 with the same show, forcing
the acting chair, U of O VP Academic
Robert Major, to cancel the meeting
yet again. It was this meeting, though,
that had the recording policy discus-
sion at the top of the agenda—and the
group was well aware of this. Paradoxi-
cally, their protesting for improved
Senate transparency lead to the shut-
ting down of that very discussion.
The group’s actions at the March 2
meeting were even more ridiculous.
As soon as senators were settled in
their seats, ready to discuss the re-
cording policy once again, Gervais
appeared at the front of the room with
a microphone, announcing that their
own “Senate” meeting was ready to
begin. She proceeded to announce the
group’s agenda, which was printed on
fake U of O letterhead distributed to
all in attendance, and included “rules
concerning speaking” and their own
point recording policy. Rock asked the
group to take their meeting elsewhere
before cancelling the real Senate meet-
ing for the third straight time.
At the end of the agenda they
passed out, this group chose to print
a quote from the U of O’s Vision 2010:
“We encourage freedom of expression
in an atmosphere of open dialogue,
enabling critical thought, supported
by intellectual integrity and ethical
judgment. Collegiality, transparency,
and accountability are the principles
that guide our university gover-
nance.” By consistently shutting down
their meetings, this group is not al-
lowing the Senate to engage in open
dialogue in an accountable or trans-
parent manner. This group is forcing
the Senate—which is responsible for
passing educational policies, creating
and abolishing programs and facul-
ties, and setting criteria for admis-
sion and degrees—to drop items off
their growing list of issues to cover
and even resort to in-camera meet-
ings, which no member of the public
is allowed to watch, not even the me-
dia. This group, which according to
their agenda claims to be the “Office
of the Student Population”, is no lon-
ger effectively representing students
at all when they are single-handedly
silencing discussion on academics—
academics being the reason students
study at this university.
In an email to the Fulcrum, Joseph
W. Richards II, a student senator rep-
resenting the Faculty of Law, put the
group’s actions into perspective: “The
actions of Marc Kelly & Co. are ridic-
ulous and directly contrary to the in-
terests of students. Students want the
administration of the university to
get things done, and that involves al-
lowing the Senate the opportunity to
deliberate on important topics that af-
fect our academic lives (i.e. creation/
modification of programs). Honestly,
I felt like a hostage at the meeting to-
day; a prisoner of fellow students.”
This group has indeed forced the
Senate to grind to a halt and almost
all important university academic de-
cision making to come to a standstill.
But instead of using this hijacking-
like pressure to their advantage, the
methods have backfired: neither sena-
tors nor the students the group claims
to represent care anymore. The Sen-
ate is finding alternate ways to get its
work done and few U of O students
are standing by the group in solidar-
ity. It’s time to realize that everyone is
ignoring you and your foolish behav-
iour. Your fight has lost its relevance.
Get over it.
news@thefulcrum.ca
613-562-5260
Report pushes 25 per cent tal investments into post-secondary
tuition hike education in partnership with the
federal government will create jobs
TORONTO (CUP) – A RECENT RE- and provide space for B.C.’s colleges
PORT by the non-profit Educational and universities.
Policy Institute warns of tuition-fee Tim Chu, newly elected vp exter-
increases amounting to $1 to $2 bil- nal affairs for the University of British
lion over the next three years. The Columbia’s undergraduate students’
think tank predicts that post-second- union, is unimpressed. He indicated
ary institutions will raise tuition by 25 that the increase only works out to
per cent or begin to cut programs and $55 million a year, and does not make
services. up for the “damages caused by the $60
Entitled On the Brink: How the million that was cut last year”.
Recession of 2009 Will Affect Post-Sec- Before the budget announcement,
ondary Education, the report paints a Camosun College predicted it would
grim picture of the future. Canadian carry a $3.4 million deficit for 2009–
universities and colleges will be bat- 10 and has already asked department
tered by circumstances including heads how they can cut five per cent
weakened endowments, changing from their budgets—a task that has
demographics, increased enrolment some faculty concerned about their
pressure, increased operating costs, jobs and students fearing a tuition
and reduced government funding. hike.
Student groups, such as the On- —Guy Alaimo, Nexus
tario Undergraduate Student Alli-
ance, agree with parts of the report
but criticize it for proposing a large
tuition hike during a recession and
asserting that Canadians can afford
increased fees.
John Milloy, Ontario’s minister of
training, colleges and universities,
told the Globe and Mail that increases
coming after 2010 would not keep
qualified students out of college or
university.
—Joe Howell,
Ontario Bureau Chief
Student groups bash B.C. budget
VICTORIA (CUP) – DESPITE A 7.3
per cent hike in funding for post-
secondary education, the 2009 pro-
vincial budget still has B.C. student
groups fuming.
The budget gives post-secondary
institutions $228 million over three
years, with $165 million of that allo-
cated towards making higher educa-
tion more accessible for students. The
government also states that new capi-

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www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.05.09 // NEWS // 7

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 9
Peter Henderson

Arts & Culture March 5–11, 2009

Arts & Culture Editor
arts@thefulcrum.ca

Power to
the people
Cherrypeel.com and
the democratic
music revolution
by Nick Rudiak
and Peter Henderson
Fulcrum Staff
SO YOU SAY you want a revolution? Andrew
Stern is at the forefront of an unfolding revolu-
tion in the music industry, and he has some of
the biggest media conglomerates in the world
square in his sights.
The rise of file-sharing and digital piracy has
shaken the record industry to its core. Old busi-
ness models have become obsolete in the face
of competition from illegal file-sharing and free
music streaming websites like MySpace and
Last.fm. To make matters worse, for every band
and label that speaks out against downloading,
there are dozens of musicians encouraging free
distribution of their work and websites facilitat-
ing the process. This is where Stern comes in. As
the co-creator of the website Cherrypeel.com,
Stern is aiming to put the power back in the
hands of the consumers by offering a platform
for the free exchange of music that’s rated and
voted on by the site’s users.
Cherrypeel.com is a part of what Stern calls
the democratic music revolution. The website
allows listeners to vote either for or against a
particular song or playlist of songs, and the re-
sults are tabulated and ranked by popularity. A
top-10 list appears on the website’s homepage,
and a simple user interface allows for build-
ing personal playlists and sharing songs with
friends.
“People get to choose what they hear,” Stern
explains. “We assumed that people knew what
they wanted to hear so they could do the hard
work in selecting music for others. We have an
algorithm that sorts [for the popular list on the
front page]. The algorithm doesn’t just work on
amount of votes, which is what a lot of them do.
What we do is [tabulate] votes over time—if you
come back the next day the same artist won’t be
at the top.”
As of March 3, the top song on Cherrypeel.
com was “La Resistance” by the Greycoats, with
31 points. Though the song in second place,
“Orpheus” by Phantods, has 120 points, “La Re-
sistance” gained its votes within two days of be-
ing uploaded, whereas “Orpheus” is a week old.
Stern created the website, which went live in
June 2008, in partnership with his friend Scott
Hyndman to address the problems that they saw
with the mainstream music industry. Like MyS-
pace and Last.fm, Cherrypeel.com allows bands
to upload music and bypass the major labels in
getting their songs to the masses.
“We were discussing the difficulties of the
music industry one day and how hard it is to
find new music, and how old the system is,”
Stern explains. “Bands don’t currently need a
record company to make an album. In the old
days it cost tens of thousands of dollars some-
times, but now you can do it in your basement
for like $200. Our site is trying to take over the
marketing, which we do through our popular
page, and distribution, which is really just the
Internet.”
As music fans, Stern and Hyndman didn’t feel
like their interests were being served by the ma-
jor labels.
“We found it was too difficult to find new mu-
sic,” says Stern. “Big corporations wanted you to
only hear the latest pop star and were affecting
the charts too much.”
The most revolutionary aspect of Cherrypeel.
com is the ability to easily share songs and play-
lists between users, which marries the accessi-
bility of MySpace with the social networking of
Facebook.
“[On] MySpace, each page is more like an is-
land,” Stern says. “The only people that see that
page are the people that the band directs to the
website. So it’s really hard to be exposed to new
music.”
Digital distribution has proved to be a seri-
ous challenge for major record labels. The typi-
cal price on iTunes for an album is $10, whereas
many CDs in retail stores sell for much higher
prices. Although record companies claim that
illegal downloading is the chief culprit in their
declining revenues and profits, the success of
alternate forms of distribution has lead many,
including Stern, to question that conclusion and
point to traditional pricing models as the big-
gest culprit for falling sales.
“There’s an interesting article I read recently
that basically said ‘the future of the [music]
industry is convincing them to buy something
else,’” he says. “What you need to do is build
a strong fan base. Trent Reznor [of Nine Inch
Nails] released [the four-disc instrumental al-
bum] Ghosts I-IV last year, and gave away the
first disc for free but made millions off [the] de-
luxe box sets and vinyl [editions].”
illustration by Martha Pearce
With Cherrypeel.com, Stern is encouraging
artists to imitate Reznor and give away at least
some of their music for free and develop a “fan
base” that will buy the full albums and purchase
concert tickets. Reznor’s innovation was figur-
ing out that, much like bonus features on DVDs,
people will pay for premium and additional con-
tent even if they can get some of the music for
free. The official Nine Inch Nails website report-
ed over US$1.6 million worth of sales for Ghosts
I-IV in the first week of release. Reznor’s success
paves the way for other artists to embrace digi-
tal distribution, and Stern thinks that Reznor’s
model will be just one of the many new ways in
which musicians will get their music to fans.
“There is probably going to be a whole bunch
of different models for music distribution in the
future,” he says.
The revolution in music distribution will not
happen overnight. Cherrypeel.com is just one
of the thousand cuts that are killing the major
labels. Stern isn’t vehemently against everything
in the old business model, but he thinks that
drastic change is inevitable. The future is frag-
mented, and Cherrypeel.com is just one solu-
tion to a complex problem.

photo courtesy Andrew Alexander
Reason, justice, and uncertainty
Doubt: A Parable
challenges audiences at
the Gladstone Theatre
by Justin Farinaccio
Fulcrum Contributor
“WHAT DO YOU do when you’re
not sure?” asks Father Flynn. “That’s
the topic of my sermon today.”
The opening line of John Patrick
Shanley’s Pulitzer Prize- and Tony
Award-winning play Doubt: A Para-
ble sets the stage for 90 minutes of un-
certainty and conflicting perceptions
of the truth. Presented by Gladstone
Productions and directed by John P.
Kelly, Doubt is a great mix of acting
and dialogue, suspense and, surpris-
ingly, humour.
Sister Aloysius (Mary Ellis) is the
principal of a Catholic elementary
parish school in 1964 in New York
City. She is a strict conservative nun
who proclaims to have natural insight
into people, while fellow teacher and
nun Sister James (Emmanuelle Zees-
man) is an inexperienced newcomer
who tries to do her best at pleasing
her superiors in both the school and
the church.
The plot begins to move when Sis-
ter James informs Sister Aloysius of
some odd behaviour from one of her
students, Donald Muller, the school’s
first black student. Sister Aloysius be-
gins to suspect that the new priest at
the school, Father Flynn (Kris Joseph),
is abusing the boy. On her crusade to
prove Flynn’s guilt, she involves Don-
ald’s mother, Mrs. Muller (Natalie
Fraser-Purdy), and sets the stage for
an emotional showdown.
Doubt plays out like a psycho-
logical thriller—by the end of the
play, the audience is left harbouring
doubts of their own, questioning the
validity of the opposing claims made
by Sister Aloysius and Father Flynn.
Shanley’s taut script is nothing short
of remarkable, and it is truly deserv-
ing of the wide acclaim it received af-
ter the play’s debut in 2004. The play’s
language heightens the tension and
underlines the ambiguous and murky
nature of the plot. As Father Flynn
says, “even if you feel certainty, it is an
emotion, not a fact.”
The play boasts excellent perfor-
mances on the parts of all four actors.
DOUBT continued on p. 10
DOUBT continued from p. 9
Ellis does an outstanding job por-
traying a strict nun, while Joseph
portrays Flynn as a character full of
emotion and substance. Zeesman’s
performance as the naïve Sister
James brings much-needed humour
to the solemn story, as her inexpe-
rience provides fodder for comic
misunderstandings. Even Fraser-
Purdy, in her relatively small role as
Muller’s mother, plays her character
with aplomb, capturing the conflict-
ed feelings of being a black woman
putting her son into a white school
at a time when racial integration was
still highly controversial.
The production values of Doubt,
though acceptable, do not measure
up to the fantastic acting and script.
The actors do the best they can with
an ambitious but crowded set that is
divided into three sections: an of-
fice, a garden, and the church. The
transitions between scenes could
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be smoother, but the long scene
changes give the audience time
to reflect on the challenging and
thought-provoking material that
the play presents.
Doubt: A Parable is an exception-
al play that asks much of its actors,
but the Ottawa troupe called upon
by the Gladstone Productions com-
pany are more than up to the task.
Doubt was recently released as a
feature film, garnering Academy-
Award nominations for all four
main actors. The intimate power
of live theatre and the phenomenal
acting by the Ottawa cast make this
production superior to the filmed
version, and there is no doubt
that Doubt: A Parable is a play you
shouldn’t miss.
Doubt: A Parable runs at the Glad-
stone Theatre (910 Gladstone Ave.)
until March 14. Tickets are $28 for
students. For more info, visit theglad-
stone.ca.
 Good
Coraline Film
THE ANIMATED FILM Coraline, adapted
from the Neil Gaiman horror-fantasy children’s
novella of the same name, is a treat for both
young and old. Too often children’s films at-
tempt to please both parents and kids and end
up pleasing neither. Director Henry Selick (The
Nightmare Before Christmas, James and the Gi-
ant Peach) deserves high praise for creating in
Coraline a film that entertains both adults and
children by telling a simple yet timeless story
that elegantly explores the common childhood
feelings of isolation and alienation.
The film tells the story of 11-year-old Cora-
line Jones (Dakota Fanning), who moves with
her busy and inattentive parents (Teri Hatcher
and John Hodgman) to a new house in the
country. Her solitary adventures in her new
home lead her to a portal to a similar but ap-
parently perfect world, but in time she realizes
that perfection is not as satisfying as she initially
thought. When she tries to return to her normal
life, the denizens of the perfect reality turn out
be far more threatening and possessive than she
had imagined.
The characters in Coraline are brought to
A
life by excellent voice-acting from the cast, and
though animated, are entirely believable. Bring-
ing animation to life is no small feat, yet the ani-
mation and voice work in Coraline makes each
character feel like a living, breathing person (or
creature). The film boasts an excellent soundtrack
that flawlessly sets the mood and keeps the scenes
suspenseful. The artistic design, the peculiar but
entertaining horror-fantasy atmosphere, and the
well-done evocative music are all reminiscent of
The Nightmare before Christmas, but Selick can’t
be blamed for re-using thst successful formula.
Like Nightmare, Coraline is filmed using
stop-motion animation, but it is augmented by
the latest in digital wizardry and 3-D effects. It
was meant to be seen in 3-D, and the filmmak-
ers take full advantage of the technology. The
film boasts some amazing cinematography that
captures both the innocence of Coraline’s child-
hood view of the world and the weird fantasies
of her alternate reality. Like the fantastical Pan’s
Labyrinth and the 1951 cartoon Alice in Won-
derland, Coraline is sure to thrill audiences re-
gardless of their age.
—Justin Farinaccio
Bad
Madea Goes To Jail
ATTENTION TYLER PERRY: stop ruining
Film
African-American culture. Your movies are
holding back equality and harmony with their
broad stereotypes and pitiful production val-
ues. Madea Goes to Jail, the latest film in Perry’s
Madea series, is a comedy-drama adaptation of
his 2006 play, but it should have never left the
stage—come to think of it, it never should have
left Perry’s unfortunately prolific mind.
The plot deals with the elderly and outspo-
ken Madea (Tyler Perry), who is sent to jail
due to her uncontrollable anger-management
issues. It’s up to her bizarre yet unfunny fam-
ily to get her out. At the same time, an assis-
tant district attorney (Derek Luke) gets a case
that’s deeply personal: he’s assigned to defend
a young prostitute from the same mean streets
in which he grew up. The prostitute (Keshia
Knight Pulliam) gets put in jail, where Madea
shows the prostitute her own exaggerated and
over-the-top brand of motherly love. The plot
is supposed to touch on modern racial issues,
but this is about as far from a Spike Lee film as
you can get. For all his faults, Lee often deals
with racial issues in a sincere and intelligent
F
way. Perry deals with these controversial issues
with the subtlety and wit of a sledgehammer
to the groin.
Not unlike the rest of Perry’s films, the script
in Madea Goes to Jail is terribly weak. The dia-
logue is mostly slang that is meant to be witty,
but ends up being unintelligible, while the
characters are all incredibly exaggerated black
stereotypes—Luke’s lawyer from the streets is
an embarrassingly racist Uncle Tom figure, and
Madea herself is an amalgam of every bad label
ever attributed to African-American females.
Comedies often skimp on plot and character de-
velopment in order to concentrate on humour,
but there’s no humour to be had in this film. So,
basically, Madea Goes to Jail leaves the audience
with nothing. The only bit of genuine talent and
energy comes from the scene-stealing Cosby
Show alumna Pulliam, but Marlon Brando in
his prime wouldn’t have been enough to save
this awful film.
There are only a few people who deserve to
have their license to make films revoked. Tyler
Perry tops that list.
—Hisham Kelati
images courtesy Focus Features and Lionsgate

B F
Paisley Jura N.A.S.A.
Time in Between The Spirit of Apollo
PAISLEY JURA’S DEBUT EP of pop tunes with a jazzy THE SPIRIT OF Apollo seems to feature every artist working in the
twist, Time in Between, is a far cry from her classical music industry right now, including the RZA, M.I.A., Kanye West,
training as a bassist and pianist. However, the intricate and—weirdly enough—Tom Waits. But not even the combined tal-
melodies woven throughout the album still reflect her ents of these artists can save the debut album by N.A.S.A., the un-
extensive musical training and experience. Jura’s sooth- dynamic duo of Squeak E. Clean and DJ Zegon. They clearly don’t
ing and evocative voice carries a bit more growl than know that it takes more than big names to make good music. The
most other female pop musicians, and this edge is best entire record is nothing but cyclical, tedious beats with a constel-
showcased on “Timing”. Jura brings a sense of jazz to her lation’s worth of special guest stars rapping, singing, or mumbling
music, which sounds like a freewheeling cross between their way through lyrics that sound like they were whipped up on
the innovation of Stars vocalist Amy Millan and the soft the fly. Waits is a musical genius, but freestyle rap is definitely not
his forte. The third song, “Money”, has an annoyingly repetitive
Album reviews
B+
The Matadors
Sweet Revenge
THE MATADORS’ FIFTH release, Sweet Revenge, is a bizarre
mixture of hillbilly, punk, country, and rock, full of humour-
ous songs about topics like hand jobs, the perks of drunk
driving, and selling your soul to the devil to bring you happi-
ness. The Matadors carefully create a long but utterly insane
fictional backstory that they explore on their albums. Sweet
Revenge goes further into detail about the band’s debauched
rise to fame on songs like “The Devil Taught Me How”, which
describes the deal signed between the band and Lucifer him-
self. Despite the ridiculous lyrics, the music on Sweet Revenge
is extremely good. It’s all done in a tight, uptempo style with

folk of Regina Spektor. Jura’s preference for soft, rolling

piano melodies is shown on the album opener “Forgot-
ten Ones”, and in “Sweetness” the minor guitar and violin
accompaniments draw attention to the voice and lyrics—
the true strengths of Time in Between. Jura shines bright-
est when she abandons the all-too-common piano-heavy
ballads that populate the easy-listening airwaves and al-
lows her phenomenal voice to become the centrepiece of
the song. Time in Between is a great start to Jura’s career,
and here’s hoping she can avoid the trite, formulaic song-
writing that unfortunately defines this type of female pop
and bring something new to the pop genre.
—Eleni Armenakis
one-word chorus, and that sort of unimaginative mixing is unac-
ceptable when the song features the likes of Public Enemy’s Chuck
D and Talking Heads’ David Byrne. “O Pato”, which features no one
of note, has whiny pitch-shifted vocals inspired by the Chipmunks,
only with filthy lyrics. There isn’t a song on the mind-numbingly
repetitive The Spirit of Apollo that’s listenable past the first minute.
The fact that this monotonous album was created with the help of
some of the greatest musical minds in the history of popular music
is absolutely criminal. If KRS-One, George Clinton, and Ghostface
Killah can’t make your album worthwhile, it’s time to seek alternate
employment.
—Eleni Armenakis
no shortage of intricate guitar solos, bouncing bass lines, and
high-pitched Hank Williams-style harmonies. The band’s at-
tention to detail makes songs like “Bush Party Handjob” and
“Buzzin’” into deeper musical expressions than the absurd
subject matter suggests. “That Kind of Love” is a slower song
that showcases the band’s versatility and the deep, Elvis-like
crooning of lead singer Joel Perkins. In the end, if you can get
over the unorthodox lyrics and the band’s devotion to the Lord
of Darkness, then the Matadors are great fun—even if you’re
not drunk off your ass.
—Andrew Champagne

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.05.09 // ARTS // 11

 The anatomy of
capital
comedy
Dissecting a joke’s journey from brain to stage
by Dave Atkinson
Fulcrum Contributor
“I HAD TO quit my job recently. I worked at a porno
store, and the manager would pay me to dress up
as a super pervert so the regular perverts felt more
comfortable. I’d stand in the European DVD section
wearing a lycra catsuit and whisper to the movies
in German.” With a microphone in my hand and a
stage under my feet, I start whispering in German
while rubbing my stomach in the creepiest way I
can. At the same time, I’m keeping an eye out for
the little red light that is the most polite way Howard
Wagman has to say “get the hell off stage—time’s up”.
Wagman is the manager at Yuk Yuk’s new downtown
location at 292 Elgin St. It’s new talent night and I’m
third on the bill. This is the life of an amateur Ottawa
comic—six minutes a month, anyway.
This city has produced a lot of very talented funny
people. My theory: the button-down government
atmosphere is effective in fostering vast amounts of
smartassery in its snarky citizenry. Norm McDon-
ald, Tom Green, Dan Aykroyd, Jon Dore, and many
others have kick-started their careers here. Ottawa
is still producing said talented funny people who
page 12 | the fulcrum Wendi Reid: Cute and comical.
are picking up microphones all over town, desper-
ate to make you laugh. But how does the comedy
scene work in Ottawa? What are the ins and outs?
How does an amateur get onto the stage at a comedy
show? Is there some kind of handshake? Must one
sacrifice livestock? Don’t worry, dear reader. Let me
take you by the hand and explain just how a joke
goes from an Ottawa comic’s brain to the comedy
club’s stage.
The anatomy of a joke
The journey starts with a premise—a concept on
which you can build a joke. For example: “act-
ing like a super pervert so the regular perverts feel
more normal” is a premise which came to me a few
months ago and so I sat down in my room and wrote
out a series of jokes around it. Writing is a big part
of comedy, and the jokes you hear on stage are rarely
delivered off the cuff. Most of the time, each joke
is carefully thought out, then written down. This is
proven by the fact that most comics have a notebook
open before the show; they’re remembering each
new joke and deciding which ones will get them the
most laughs. My newly written porn-store joke is
just what I need for an open mic night, the next stop
on my comedy journey.
Check, 1,2,3, check
The best place for a comic to try a new joke and
gauge its hilarity is at one of the many open mic
nights around the city. This is where amateur comics
stretch their legs and where the $1–3 cover reduces
the pressure to deliver top-notch material. Because
the two professional comedy clubs in town, Yuk
Yuk’s and Absolute Comedy, are about success, co-
medians stick to tried-and-true material; the jokes
that bring the crowds. They tend not to experiment
with new jokes for fear that untested punchlines
may not go over well (and being consistently good
is the only way to get more work).
A comic’s line “I wrote a joke about chain-smok-
ing cats”, gets the response “Try it at the Oak.” The
basement of The Royal Oak pub at 161 Laurier
Ave. E. and other open-mic sites act as workshops
where comedians can test out the wackiest of jokes.
Audiences see the weird, the obscene, the dark, the
goofy, and the subtle consistently and shamelessly
on display. Open-mic nights are where the Ottawa
comedy scene is truly thriving, where new and
strange jokes get their start, and where the city’s co-
medians are most comfortable. Think of these nights
as comedy’s equivalent to musical jam sessions—10
comics goofing around and experimenting with new
ideas in a comfortable environment. It helps that Ot-
Where to
tawa comics are a talented lot, and their talent shines
brightest when they’re dishing out their new, raw
jokes.
see comedy
in Ottawa:
My porn store joke goes up at an Oak show for
the first time along with jokes about Apple releas-
ing an iPenis, the OC Transpo strike, roadkill, and
other new stuff. The other comedians are laughing
because they’re hearing fresh material, the audience
is laughing because the stuff is funny and they can
tell I’m excited to be trying it, and I’m having the The Sunday
time of my life up there. After I get off-stage, I have
a better understanding of how and why the joke
Gospel Comedy Revival
works, and where the weak points are. I change it, Every second Sunday
say this part louder, cut this bit out, make this bit at 8:30 p.m. The Royal Oak
longer. When that is done, I hit another open mic
night and try it again, and again, and again. Once I (basement), 161 Laurier Ave. E.
think it’s ready, and I have several other jokes that Free. Join the Facebook group
I’m confident in, it’s time to move up the comedy
ladder: it’s time to take my jokey brood to a profes- for regular updates.
sional club. Next show: March 8
Will all the amateurs
please stand up The Monday Night
Every month, amateurs call in to book time for New Comedy Spotlight
Talent Night at Yuk Yuk’s and Pro-Am night at Ab-
solute Comedy. You call on the first Tuesday of the
Every second Monday
month to book a date, and you’re allowed six min- (alternate weeks to the Royal
utes onstage to do whatever you like. As a comic,
you have to understand that both these clubs are fo-
Oak show) at 8:30 p.m.
cused on business. Comics are supposed to bring the Zampub in the Sports Com-
funny which brings the people who buy the drinks plex, 801 King Edward Ave.
and eat the nachos that make the money that pays
for the funny. With a heftier cover charge, audiences $3 at the door. Join the
expect a club to offer the best comedians. There’s an Facebook group for regular
unspoken expectation from the management: “We’ll
get you an audience, you make them laugh.” So, if updates.
you want to be taken seriously as a comic and if you Next show: March 16
want to be invited back by the club, you polish your Dom Paré proves that sometimes, jokes are ugly.
finest material and hold up your end of the bargain photos by Alex Smyth
with the club managers.
The two big boys in town are Wagman, the afore-
Yuk Yuk’s
mentioned Yuk’s manager, and Jason Laurens, the Wednesday–Saturday
manager at Absolute Comedy. They hold the keys at 8:30 p.m. with 10:30 p.m.
to stage time, exposure, and the paid gig—the holy
grail of amateur comedy. Wagman has been in the late shows Fri. & Sat.
game for 32 years (a quarter century of which has New talent night: Wednesday
been in Ottawa) while Laurens, a comic himself, is
newer to the management fold. Both managers have
292 Elgin St.
in common the unenviable task of organizing people $6-20 (student specials on
whose job it is to be subversive smartasses.
As an amateur, nerves hang over any interaction
Thursday and Friday).
I have with either of them as their judgment de- Call for reservations at
termines how much stage time I get. The path to 613-236-5233.
getting paid is weird and vague. If you do enough
amateur nights and prove you can consistently do Check out at yukyuks.com for
six funny minutes, one of the managers might offer featured comedians.
you a spot opening for a Thursday or Friday show
and boom, you’re a professional comedian. Kind
of. Getting to this point can take months or years.
Sometimes it’s as simple as being at the right place
Absolute Comedy
at the right time. Wednesday to Sunday at 8:30
p.m. with 10:30 p.m. late shows
Finding the funny bone
Fri. & Sat.
So that’s how the amateur comedy scene in the capital Pro-Am night: Wednesday
works. Amateurs aren’t paid, we aren’t onstage more
than 20 minutes a week, and we often have to bus 412 Preston St.
across the city to get up in front of nine people and $5-12. Call for reservations at
try to work out a new joke about a puma in a canoe.
It is sometimes difficult, sometimes soul-crushing,
613-233-8000.
but almost always fun. We do it because we love it. Visit absolutecomedy.ca for
That or we’re compulsive attention-seekers desper-
ate for validation from complete strangers.
featured comedians.

Trevor Thompson likes to dress sharply for the audience. the fulcrum | page 13
 If you’re reading this, you have the attention
Child of conflict brings
a message of hope
to detail we need in our proofreaders.

Come to 631 King Edward Ave. on Tuesday evenings

to keep the Fulcrum error-free.

Staff meetings.

We have them.

Thursdays
at 2:30 p.m.

631 King Edward Ave.

The Fulcrum.

photo courtesy Emmanuel Jal

Emmanuel Jal explores his time as a child soldier in the documentary, album, and memoir that share the name
WARchild.
“I’m feeling weak today. I normal- readers of the graphic horror stories
ly have energy, which I save to use he recounts. He admits to the audi-
Sudanese activist
THE for important things,” he says. He ex- ence that the release of such painful
ETE IN works on an almost-
Y TO COMP R plains that he has lost 13 kilograms memories actually induced nose-
D
BE REA OMA O
YO U R DIPL empty stomach since beginning the fast. bleeds for him for a month straight.
TAKE SS
INESS. BUSINE Despite the headaches and weak- At the end of the night, Jal shares
T IO N A L BU S R N A T IONAL
TERNA ITH AN
INTE
OLLEG
E. by Shannon Busta ness, Jal insists on talking about his his love for his rescuer, British aid
D OF IN EVEL W NCE C
WO R L E X T L A W R E The Cord Weekly charity—he’s trying to build a school worker Emma McCune, with a per-
EN ST. L TO
E TO TH E FROM U NEED in his hometown in Sudan—and his formance of a song off the album
DEGRE E R T IFICAT ID E N CE YO
NT C CON F CE. WATERLOO (CUP) – EMMANU- third album, WARchild, a decisively WARchild, “Emma”.
GEME S AND KETPLA
MANA T H E SKILL O B A L MAR EL JAL THINKS he is about 29 years personal work of art with unmistak- The three expressions of Jal’s sto-
U L
GIVE Y
O ING G
WE’LL HANG old. Born into war-torn Sudan, Jal able political and spiritual overtones. ry that make up WARchild offer a
T H E EVER-C
ED IN is not sure of his exact date of birth. The album aims to show that hip-hop chance to educate the public about a
SUCCE
This is actually not all that uncom- is about music, expression, and art, part of the world that is all too often
TE MENT
RADUA NAGE mon for those born in Sudan in the not sex, bling, and glorified violence. ignored. Jal hopes that educating the
POST G S IN E SS MA
A L BU GE 1980s, a time of civil war, violence, Jal expresses frustration over the loss Western world about those suffering
ATION COLLE
INTERN A W R ENCE ON and chaos. of the original spirit of hip-hop. in Africa will, in turn, bring a higher
T ST. L ESSION
RAM A TION S AMPU
S Growing up in the centre of con- “It’s the image that has been built quality of education to Africans. He
PROG R M A
TON C
O R A N INFO K IN G S flict and experiencing life as a child by the system,” he says. “Sex and vio- feels that education can prevent war
SF 7PM,
JOIN U , 5 TO
1 1 A ND 18 soldier has left Jal with one hell of a lence sells.” and change Africa permanently for
H
MARC story to tell, and he’s sharing it in ev- Later that day, Jal, clearly fatigued the better.
S:
ery way he can. He is currently tour- from his lack of nutrients, hosts “When you are not educating peo-
ACT U
CONT ing to promote his hip-hop album, a screening of the documentary ple, there will always be conflict,” he
N.CA
IT@SL.O memoir, and documentary, all of WARchild, performs some music off told the eager audience. “The reason
DREAM
2
63-075
which share the title WARchild and his new album, and signs copies of his Europe is what it is now, is because of
1-800-4 tell the story of his tumultuous life. memoir. During the film, the sounds education.”
“In Africa, music was used as a of people choking back tears fill the Passion and love, when translated
way of recording history,” Jal says. theatre. Jal, who returned home to into education and awareness, can
Sitting down to discuss his life, Jal his village in Sudan for the first time change the lives of many. Jal hopes to
is struggling through his 78th day liv- in over 15 years to make the docu- be living proof of this sentiment.
ing on one-third of the food that he mentary, brings the audience with
normally consumes. He started this him as he relives the trauma of his For more information or to contribute
fast of sorts to raise awareness for his past and confronts the injustice that to Emmanuel Jal’s charity visit www.
charity Gua-Africa, and during the still weighs heavily on his mind. gua-africa.org, or www.emmaacad-
interview he sips on warm water. At the book signing, Jal warns emyproject.com.

14 \\ ARTS \\ 03.05.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca


Sports
Finding the
“Make no mistake;
we are going to Regina to win.”
Hannah Sunley-Paisley
Gee-Gees centre
While having four arms couldn’t hurt Ottawa’s chances, Gee-Gees centre
Hannah Sunley-Paisley knows the team will have to be aggressive to be
successful.
Charity
classic
by David McClelland
Fulcrum Staff
WITH THE SUN high overhead,
dozens of people clustered around the
rink outside the Sandy Hill Arena, as
members of the community and U
of O students played some good old-
fashioned pond hockey for charity
in the inaugural edition of the Sandy
Hill Winter Classic on March 1.
The four-hour tournament was or-
ganized by the University of Ottawa
Student-Athlete Council (SAC) in
partnership with community group
Action Sandy Hill (ASH) and the
charity Right to Play. Half of the pro-
silver lining
photo by Frank Appleyard
ceeds from the event were donated to
Right to Play, which works to improve
the lives of children in developing
countries through sports, while the
other half went towards sponsoring
four local children to attend a Gee-
Gees summer camp.
The Sandy Hill Winter Classic was
initially the brainchild of Danika Smith,
captain of the Gee-Gees women’s hock-
ey team and chair of the SAC, and Josh-
ua Zanin, who maintains the outdoor
rink and is the secretary of ASH. Right
to Play became involved not long after
the idea got off the ground.
SANDY HILL continued on p. 17
March 5–11, 2009
Women’s basketball
nets berth at
nationals despite
losing provincial final
by Megan O’Meara
Fulcrum Staff
GUNNING FOR THEIR second-ever
provincial title, the University of Ot-
tawa women’s basketball team was
in Windsor on Feb. 28 to battle the
Windsor Lancers in the Ontario Uni-
versity Athletics (OUA) final. After a
hard-fought match against a powerful
Lancers squad, the Gee-Gees ulti-
mately fell 68-51.
The Gees, who qualified for the
game after defeating the Toronto Var-
sity Blues 68-55 in the semi-final on
Feb. 25, got off to their worst start of
the year in one of their biggest games
to date. A combination of frayed
nerves on Ottawa’s part and domi-
nant defensive play from the Lancers
gave Windsor a daunting 42-14 lead
going into halftime.
Gee-Gees head coach Andy Sparks
felt that the Lancers were psychologi-
cally better prepared at the beginning
of the match.
“I think they just were very focused
for the game, they got hot early and
they made a lot of shots and we didn’t
make anything early,” said Sparks. “I
think [we were] just steamrolled a
little bit for the whole first half.”
After the horrendous start, Ottawa
Pond hockey: officially the most Canadian way to hold a fundraiser.
David McClelland
Sports Editor
sports@thefulcrum.ca
turned their game around in the sec-
ond half, with second-year guard Em-
ilie Morasse scoring a game-high 18
points for the Gees. Though unable
to capture the win, Ottawa outscored
the Lancers 37-26 in the second half
to make the final score a more re-
spectable 68-51.
Sparks was satisfied with Morasse’s
effort in the second half, and regretted
that she didn’t have an opportunity to
stand out in the first.
“She made a big step and … I think
she’ll do the same job all the time if
her teammates find her, but we just
weren’t able to find her in the first
half,” said Sparks.
“In every game there are ups and
downs,” explained Morasse. “We tried
another offence in the second half and
the Lancers were not ready to handle
the screens that we were setting. That
situation left me wide open, so we
were able to take advantage of it.”
The Lancers, who were ranked third
in Canadian Interuniversity Sports
(CIS) going into the game, won their
first-ever OUA championship.
Ottawa captain and fourth-year
centre Katie Laurie felt that the team
might have been overwhelmed by
Windsor’s skill.
“I think we were a bit intimidated
because they were ranked number
three in Canada,” said Laurie. “Once
we got a taste of how they played, we
realized we could play with them de-
spite being down by so much.”
Despite the outcome of the pro-
vincial final, the Gees still qualified
for the CIS championships in Regina
15
March 6–8. The Gee-Gees, seeded
eighth for their third-ever appearance
at the national championships, will
take on the top-ranked Simon Fraser
Clan—who were 22-1 in the regular
season—to open the tournament.
Although they are to face the num-
ber-one team in the country, Laurie
was confident that Ottawa can com-
pete against the Clan.
“We can compete if we come out
hard and play with intensity the entire
game,” said Laurie. “We know Simon
Fraser is the best in Canada, but we
can play with them if we play harder
than them by doing the little things
[like] getting on the floor for loose
balls, rebounding, boxing out, and
playing team defense.”
Sparks was not as optimistic after
the loss to Windsor, but still thinks
his team has a chance to pull off an
upset.
“There’s a reason why we’re seeded
eighth and they’re seeded first,” said
Sparks. “They’ve been the best team
in the country all year, and … I think
it will be decided very early if we can
compete with them or not. We have to
have everything go right for us to be
in this one, and hopefully it will.”
Second-year centre Hannah Sun-
ley-Paisley left no doubt about what
her approach to the championship
would be.
“No one thinks we are going to beat
them. But no one thought we would
make it all the way to nationals either.
Anything can happen and make no
mistake; we are going to Regina to
win.”
photo by Martha Pearce
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SANDY HILL continued from p. 15

“[The event] started between my-

self and [Zanin],” explained Smith.
“[Then] literally what happened was I
was walking through the [Unicentre]
and saw a Right to Play table, and I
thought this is probably something
they’d want to do as well. So I asked
them, and they were completely on-
board.”
“[Right to Play] is a really big inter-
national humanitarian organization,”
said Premal Patel, president of the U
of O Right to Play club, which works
to raise money for Right to Play on
campus. “They work in many coun-
tries—mostly Africa and the Middle
East—and they use a sports for devel-
opment program to try to foster peace
in children affected by war or disease,
and really just try to rebuild broken
communities. It’s about sustainability
and development.”
Four teams competed in the tour-
nament, one composed of Gee-Gees
athletes, another of Human Kinetics
professors, and two made up of Sandy
Hill residents. The event offered free
coffee courtesy of Timothy’s World
Coffee. Funds were raised through en-
try fees, a barbeque, and selling raffle
tickets for prizes including tickets to
an Ottawa Senators game and Toron-
photo by Martha Pearce
to Maple Leafs jersey autographed by
forward Jason Blake.
In addition to raising money for
charity, the aim of the Sandy Hill
Winter Classic was to build stronger
links between the U of O campus
and its students and the Sandy Hill
community—a major aspect of ASH’s
mandate.
“We’ve been pushing for more out-
door and more activity [based events] One week of
here in the community, and this is
just another one we hope to have St. Patrick’s Day revelry. I earned my
every year now,” said Robert Stehle, (KHV[ QPGYGGMUQHTGEQXGT[ undergraduate degree,
president of ASH, who was on-hand
to watch the tournament. “[Sandy now
Hill] is a very diverse community.
I want a
And unless you plan activities to-
gether like this, what usually happens
in communities like that you all tend
rewarding career *
to centre in your own areas, and you * not just a job
don’t tend to intermingle. And that’s
what these activities do—they bring
people together.” In less than one year, Humber
“We’re always trying to tackle that postgraduate programs will help
divide which exists between the uni-
versity and the permanent residents
you launch your career in:
who live here,” said Zanin. “There are
a lot of perceived barriers there, and
• Financial Planning
if we can break them down with as • Human Resources
something as easy as a hockey game, • International Development
then why not? And I think we met
that goal today.” • International Marketing
• Marketing Management
The official toasting device of • Public Administration
St. Patrick’s day around the world.
Building on your university degree,
If you’re reading this,
Humber’s postgraduate programs offer a
you have the attention
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D’Arcy McGee’s is a registered trade-mark of PRC Trademarks Inc. Used under licence. © Prime Restaurants of Canada Inc. business.humber.ca

www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.05.09 // SPORTS // 17

Lighting the lamp

More than fun and games
David McClelland
Sports Editor
SPORTS FANS SOMETIMES get a bit of a bad
rap for being so absorbed in something that ul-
timately seems trivial and pointless. After all, in
the grand scheme of things, sports don’t matter
very much—or do they? Actually, we saw proof
that sports can be used for a good cause just this
past weekend.
The Sandy Hill Winter Classic, covered in de-
tail on p. 17, was all about using sports to help
make a difference. Half the proceeds of the tour-
nament went to Right to Play, an organization
that works to help children and communities in
underdeveloped parts of the world. The organi-
zation uses sport and play programs to promote
basic education and childhood development,
educate people about health, teach conflict reso-
lution skills, and encourage community devel-
opment.
Closer to home, sports can also be used to
bring communities closer together. The Sandy
Hill Winter Classic was in part created to do just
that, by providing an event where University of
Ottawa students and Sandy Hill residents could
mingle, breaking down the barriers and tensions
that sometimes exist between the two groups.
Some people might argue that it would be
more effective to bypass sports entirely, and
just fund developing countries or community
redevelopment directly. The truth is that sports
have a strange ability to get people interested
and involved in something. And not only that,
but playing a game is a much more fun way of
raising money for a good cause—who wants to
trudge door-to-door in the cold when you can
play hockey instead?
Sports can be a very valuable tool when used
to help people directly. It’s been demonstrated
time and again that sports are often a very sig-
nificant positive influence on the lives of young
people, for example. Here on campus, both
Aminata Diallo, a leftside/rightside hitter with
the women’s volleyball team, and Josh Sacobie,
former quarterback on the men’s football team,
have credited sports with helping them through
difficult situations when they were young. Kids
who are involved in sports, both here in Ottawa
and around the world, tend to be healthier and
happier than kids who aren’t.
Obviously, sports can’t fix all of the world’s
problems, but on a small scale they can be a
very valuable tool for individuals and groups.
We should be striving to use sports as a tool to
help bring people together more often. Events
like the Sandy Hill Winter Classic are a great
start, and should serve as a model for other
events to build bridges between different com-
munity groups.
The bottom line is that sports can help in-
dividuals and benefit communities. That’s why
it’s important to continue to support sports and
athletic development around the world, both to
improve the places where we live and the lives of
those in countries less fortunate than our own.
sports@thefulcrum.ca
613-562-5931

Friday afternoon March 6 - News reporting

journalism workshops March 13 - Page layout and design
All workshops begin at 1 p.m. and take place at 631
The Fulcrum is hosting free weekly workshops for
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18 \\ SPORTS \\ 03.05.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

 Dynamic duo powers Gees
Nemanja Baletic (12) kickstarted Ottawa’s second-quarter comeback with
his energetic and aggressive play.
Lights out
Women’s hockey
demolishes Carleton
to close regular season
by David McClelland
Fulcrum Staff
THE GEE-GEES WOMEN’S hockey
team enters the playoffs on top of their
game after closing out the regular sea-
son with a commanding 6-1 win over
the Carleton Ravens on Feb. 28.
“[A big win] just gives you that little
bit of swagger that I think you need
going into a playoff series,” said as-
sistant coach Miguel Filiatrault, who
is filling in for Gee-Gees head coach
Shelley Coolidge, currently in China
to help coach the Canadian national
women’s university hockey team.
The Gees wasted little time estab-
lishing a lead, as fourth-year forward
Joyce Spruyt poked a bouncing re-
bound past Ravens goaltender Aman-
da Muhlig less than five minutes into
the game. Just three minutes later,
third-year forward Taryn Brown add-
ed a second goal with a well-placed
backhand.
photo by Alex Martin
While the Ravens managed only
three shots on net in the first frame,
they were able to score their lone goal
after a long slapshot from Victoria
Germuska found its way through traf-
fic and past fifth-year Ottawa goalten-
der Jessika Audet.
Ottawa took off in the third period
with a flurry of goals. Rookie forward
Jodi Reinholcz began the assault three
minutes in, and was followed just
eight seconds later by Ashley Burril
off the ensuing faceoff. Second-year
forward Erika Pouliot added a goal
on a breakaway, and third-year for-
ward Joelle Charlebois rounded out
the scoring with a marker from right
in front of the net.
The game’s final frame featured no
scoring. After killing off a five-on-three
penalty at the beginning of the period,
the Gees cruised to a 6-1 victory.
The game leaves Ottawa with an
8-8-2 record to finish the regular
season, good enough for second-
place in the Quebec Student Sports
Federation (QSSF). With an evident
psychological advantage, the Gees
began the playoffs on March 4, facing
the third-seeded Ravens in a best-of-
three series. The results of game one
were unavailable at press time.
Gibson-Bascombe and
Wright combine for 54
points in playoff win
by Andrew Hawley
Fulcrum Staff
A POOR START by the University
of Ottawa men’s basketball team at
Montpetit Hall on Feb. 28 was quickly
overcome as two strong middle quar-
ters propelled the Garnet and Grey to
a 96-81 victory over the University of
Toronto Varsity Blues in the Ontario
University Athletics (OUA) semifi-
nals. The 19-3 Gee-Gees were seeded
second in the playoffs and had beaten
the third-seeded 15-7 Blues twice dur-
ing the regular season.
“We just stuck with the game plan,”
said fourth-year guard Josh Gibson-
Bascombe after the game. “We locked
them down defensively.”
However the Blues were able to take
control early, playing aggressively and
shutting down Gees’ fifth-year centre
Dax Dessureault, who was swarmed
by Toronto’s defence throughout the
first quarter. Dessureault had been the
key to success in Ottawa’s two previous
wins against Toronto this season, scor-
ing a total of 41 points, and the Blues
were determined not to be exploited
by him again.
“[Toronto] came out real strong to-
night, and they were great early,” said
Ottawa head coach Dave DeAveiro af-
Gee-Gees forward Alicia Blomberg races for a puck during Ottawa’s 6-1 victory over the Carleton Ravens.
“We didn’t want to give [Carleton]
hope for Wednesday’s series,” said Fili-
atrault. “That was the goal tonight, and
it looks good going into Wednesday.”
“The plan for today was … to crush
any confidence [Carleton] would
have going into Wednesday,” agreed
fifth-year defender and team captain
Danika Smith. “We definitely sent a
ter the semifinal. “We were actually a
little lucky because we could have been
down more than we were.”
The Gees trailed 20-11 late in the
first quarter, and it looked like the
Blues might run away with the game.
But as time was winding down in the
frame an unlikely Gee-Gee turned
the game around: third-year forward
Nemanja Baletic. A bench player for
much of the season, Baletic made the
most of his court time by out-hustling
Blues players to the ball. He scored Ot-
tawa’s last five points of the quarter,
helping cut the Blues’ lead to 24-19 be-
fore both teams retired to their dress-
ing rooms.
“[Baletic] gave us a great lift when
we needed it,” said DeAveiro. “He had
a good practice this week and we were
hoping he would step up, and he did.”
Baletic sparked a barrage of Gees
points in the second quarter. The
frame began with two consecutive
baskets from Gibson-Bascombe, who
led the Gees on a 9-0 tear that put Ot-
tawa in front. Toronto then got into
foul trouble, which freed up Dessu-
reault and gave him the opportunity to
sink free throws. Meanwhile, Gibson-
Bascombe continued pulverizing the
Blues, adding four more points late in
the quarter as the Gees poured in bas-
kets until the buzzer sounded. Having
outscored Toronto 31-10 in the frame,
the resurgent Gee-Gees were up 50-34
at halftime.
“We just came out much stronger
in that quarter,” Gibson-Bascombe re-
called afterwards.
message.”
The win left the Gee-Gees eager to
again face off against the Ravens.
“Both of us are really fast teams,”
said Reinholcz after the game. “I think
we have more overall skill, [and] after
this game I think we kind of showed
them we have the drive, we have the
fire [to win].”
www.thefulcrum.ca // 03.05.09 //
“We were making better shots on
offence,” added DeAveiro. “We were
also much better defensively.”
The punishment continued in the
third quarter. Gibson-Bascombe add-
ed another seven points, while fellow
fourth-year guard Josh Wright also
poured in baskets, scoring 13. The duo
combined for 20 points in the quarter,
and a total of 54 points by the end of
the match.
“[Ottawa]’s two guards are the two
best in the country,” Toronto head
coach Mark Katz conceded after the
game.
By the end of the third quarter, the
game was basically over as Ottawa held
a commanding 81-51 lead.
The final frame gave DeAveiro the
opportunity to rest his starters and
give his bench players some court
time. Third-year forward Louis Gau-
thier, heir apparent to the centre spot
currently occupied by Dessureault,
was brought in, along with second-
year guard Jacob Gibson-Bascombe,
first-year guard Warren Ward, and
third-year forward Marvin Bazile.
The Gee-Gees were outscored 30-16
in the quarter, but were never in any
real danger as they cruised to a 96-81
victory.
The Gee-Gees played the Carleton Ra-
vens on March 4. The result was un-
available at press time. The winner of
that game will advance to the OUA
final, as well as qualify for a berth at
the Canadian Interuniversity Sport
championships.
photo by Alex Martin
Ottawa next plays March 6 at Carle-
ton, and, if necessary, will play game
three at the Sports Complex on March
8. Tickets are $6 for students. The win-
ner of the series will qualify for the Ca-
nadian Interuniversity Sport national
championship, as well as advance to
the QSSF finals.
SPORTS // 19
 Distractions
Thryllabus
Thursday, March 5
Lecture: An Exciting, Energetic
Approach to Wellness by Wolfgang
Jaksch. 7:30 p.m. St. Paul’s University.
223 Main St. Free.
Friday, March 6
Vernissage: Mother Goose by Jona-
than Hobin. 7 p.m. The Dale Smith
Gallery. 137 Beechwood Ave. Free.
Event: Value Village Prom. 9 p.m.
Pub 101. 101 York St. $5 donation to
Ontario Children’s Treatment Centre.
Saturday, March 7
Concert: The Skivvies.
1:30 p.m. Zion United Church,
1831 Smallman Rd. $10.
March 5–11, 2009
Sunday, March 8
CD launch: The Land of Song
Dear Di If you have a question for Di,
email deardi@thefulcrum.ca.
by Shannon Mercer. 3 p.m. Dear Di,
St. Andrew’s Church. 82 Kent St. $20. So I’m a first-year student in resi-
dence and my floor is having some
serious ‘floorcest’. The sex was freak-
Monday, March 9 ing amazing and it taught me a lot
about pleasing the female fun plea-
Film: Cadillac Records. 9:05 p.m. sure points. But then the Discovery
ByTowne Cinema. 325 Rideau St. $9, Channel actions turned into a huge
$6 for members. drama-fest as people started getting
more and more emotionally attached
Tuesday, March 10 to each other. I just wasn’t into the
sex anymore. My friends from home
found out about my scandalous
Musical: Nunsense. 8 p.m.
activities and now just think I’m a
Centrepoint Theatre. 101
Centrepoint Dr. $35. filthy man-whore. Should I get back
into the sex scene and deal with all
the drama or should I just move
Wednesday, March 11 on and look for a real relationship?
And what do I do about my friends’
Book signing: High Voltage Tattoo! respect?
by Kat Von D. 12 p.m. —First-Year Floorcest
Chapters. 47 Rideau St. Free.
Dear FYF,
There’s nothing like a little floorcest
to make your rookie year at the U of O
truly memorable. However, when the
raunch melts into emotional attach-
ment, it’s a lot less sex and a lot more
bullshit. In short: it’s time to cut the
cord, at least until the drama subsides
and the carefree animalistic tenden-
cies return. If you decide to bow out
altogether, please don’t try to substi-
tute your new-found insatiability for
sex—or to cover up your man-whore
tracks—by forcing a relationship with
anybody. Even the most shallow rela-
tionships are based on more than just
sex, so keep things sweet and casual
until you spot someone who inter-
ests you both in and out of bed. As
for your friends? You have just had
the ultimate first-year sex experience,
which your friends have only fanta-
sudoku answers on p. 18
sized about in between masturbating
to college party sex videos on Porn-
hub. Something tells me that you’ve
secured alpha-male status in the
Hearsay by Jordan Moffatt
Sarah Leavitt
Features Editor
features@thefulcrum.ca
group and they’re nothing
but jealous, so bask in the
glow while it lasts. I mean,
it’s university—someone is
going to one-up you sooner
or later.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
Over the past
few years I have found it increas-
ingly difficult to define my sexuality.
To this date I’ve not had sex, a blow
job, a hand job, or anything aside
from a set of intense make-out ses-
sions with a woman who really un-
derstood me but was already taken.
This is where it begins to confuse
me: I can’t stand watching straight
porn on the Internet; I don’t find it
arousing in the least bit. However, I
still fantasize about having real re-
lationships with women and envy
those who have them. On the other
side of the spectrum, I masturbate
to gay porn regularly and find it in-
credibly arousing, aside from deep
penetration and the “ass cam” shots.
I also fantasize about having sexual
relations with men, but would never
want a relationship with one. I’ve
even experimented using a toy for
anal sex and enjoyed it. If you could
help me a bit, it would be welcome.
—Guy Having Difficulty
With Definition
Dear GHDWD,
It seems to me that your problem
has less to do with defining your sex-
uality and more to do with how you
perceive sexuality in a social context.
You write that you would prefer to
be with a woman publicly, but you
privately prefer male company. This
makes me wonder how you view
homosexuality or bisexuality as op-
20
posed to hetero-
sexuality. Sexuali-
ty and sexual preference do not fit into
a rigid classification system; they are
more fluid than that. Not everyone
fits in to the few socially mandated
categories we have to work with, and
I don’t like to make assumptions. You
may be a straight man who is aroused
by gay porn, which is entirely normal.
Likewise, it’s possible you may be bi-
sexual with female-targeted emotion-
al preferences and male-targeted sex-
ual preferences. Finally, perhaps you
sit more towards the gay end of the
spectrum and for some reason you’re
unable to reconcile your private pas-
sion with your idea of what a ‘real’ re-
lationship should consist of. Everyone
has an idea of what a real relationship
is, and how it should work. As you
haven’t had much personal experience
with actually being in a relationship, I
can understand why a heterosexual
relationship would seem ordinary to
you. In reality though, a gay couple is
as capable as a straight couple of hav-
ing a real, functioning, and positive
relationship, and sexual compatibility
can be just as important as emotional
harmony or well-matched personali-
ties. I recommend you reconsider your
definitions and stay open-minded
about what you’re looking for in that
special someone. Defining your sexu-
ality is a process, and if you need some
more advice along the way, my friends
at the Pride Centre are always there
to help, whether in person or anony-
mously by phone or email. For more
information, visit pride.sfuo.ca. Good
luck with everything!
Love,
Di

Opinion
Want to transfer schools?
by Kathryn Shermack
Fulcrum Contributor
ON THE TELEPHONE, as the horrible hold
music began to eat away at my last shred of pa-
tience and the 45-minute mark approached, I be-
gan to question my sanity. But these 45 minutes
were just a taste of the torture the University of
Ottawa would put me through in my epic battle
to transfer schools. Equivalencies, admissions,
prerequisites, and calls beginning with “please
hold”—over the course of about six months,
these words would almost drive me insane.
At the beginning of my third year of enrol-
ment in political science at Lakehead University
I decided it was time to move on to the bigger
and better. And what better place to study po-
litical science than in our nation’s capital? The
University of Ottawa—a mere 15-minute walk
from Parliament—seemed perfect. I applied to
the U of O in early January 2008. “Expect your
response in approximately six weeks!” the On-
tario Universities’ Application Centre website
cheerfully informed me. Excited at the prospect
of moving to a new city, I began telling friends
and family of my probable departure to Ot-
tawa, browsing apartments, and bragging to my
friends who would be stuck in the cold abyss
that is Thunder Bay.
I had heard stories about the nightmares that
transfer students are put through by university
administrations—but I had no idea. By May I
had still not received an official response from
the U of O. I was growing more and more im-
patient, and my phone calls to the admissions
department became more and more frantic. But
every time I called I got a different answer:
21
Michael Olender
March 5–11, 2009
Executive Editor
executive@thefulcrum.ca
Reconsider
illustration by Alex Martin
“You’ll know by the end of this week,” was one. transfer before they start the long and painful and any credits you get while on exchange are
“We didn’t receive your final transcript,” was application process. credited back to the U of O, as long as your fac-
the next. The creation of comprehensive criteria clearly ulty approves them. The criteria for deciding
And this was my personal favourite: “You outlining the terms and conditions required to whether or not the courses will be approved are
probably got in. But it’s not for sure yet.” transfer to the U of O could also be an excellent already well established, which eliminates a lot
I was so relieved when, at the end of June, I fi- opportunity for the university to create some of confusion and wasted time. For exchange stu-
nally got my official acceptance from the U of O. new jobs—paid or voluntary—for students, who dents there are also a lot of programs already in
Now, I understand that transferring is a tricky could be available to assist other students con- place to help new students feel comfortable for
business. Different universities have different sidering transferring by explaining why courses the semester or year that they’re at a different
courses, different prerequisites, and different are equivalent or not. Employed students could school; things like finding a place to live, mak-
course content. However, there are some things also help improve communication between po- ing friends, and finding fun things to do are a lot
that the U of O’s admissions department could tential transfer students and admissions. simpler when you’re just visiting. Of course, you
have done to make the transfer a lot easier. For those of you who are really bent on get- still have to maintain decent marks, and there
If the U of O—and universities in general— ting away from Ottawa, I would like to offer is a significant amount of work in the exchange
wants to make transferring from school to school an alternative: an exchange program. In an ex- process, but let me tell you it’s a lot easier than a
smoother, it must improve its communication change, you are still registered at the U of O, permanent transfer.
methods. After I was accepted, I found out the
reason for the delay was not only the fault of the
admissions department; different departments
were taking their time in deciding if my courses
were equivalent to courses offered at the U of
O. More (or better) communication between
the different departments and the admissions
office would have made the whole transferring
process a lot easier. A simple “Your file is with
this person or this department” would have put
my mind at ease, and significantly lowered my
blood pressure.
It also would have been a lot easier if there
were some kind of criteria for the transfer of
courses. Right now, it seems like course equiva-
lencies are completely arbitrary decisions made
by the invisible powers at the U of O. There
should be information available that explains
why some courses transfer and some do not. If
this information were readily available, it could
help students decide if it is worth their time to
 MTV killed the intelligent teen HECKLES:
The death of
a demographic
by Hisham Kelati
Fulcrum Staff
THE FUTURE OF humanity has never looked
bleaker than it does right now. Forget about the
global financial crisis, global warming or ter-
rorism; we’ll figure that out within the next 10
years. The real catastrophe is something much
more dangerous and terrifying—a deceived
generation. I’m talking about the young people
who in a decade will become adults, those who
should be the world’s future movers and shak-
ers. Many of them have been doomed to a life of
frivolity and disappointment, having had their
minds rotted by MTV, the last bastion for dumb,
glitzy, bubble-gum-chewing airheads.
MTV is an American network whose original
sole purpose when it went on air in 1981 was to play
music videos. But today, it is nothing more than a
mega-cult, brainwashing millions of impression-
able adolescents and young adults by getting them
to drink the way-too-sweet poisoned Kool-Aid
programming that has taken over MTV airwaves:
reality television. Ever since airing The Real World
in 1992, MTV has affirmed itself as one of the
leading causes of stupidity among young people.
The introduction of The Hills in 2006 marked the
moment it became the leading cause.
The greatest crime that MTV has commit-
ted is reinforcing an underlying principle that
all their ‘reality programming’ is unscripted and
unedited, which leads me to worry that it has
led young people to assume that a great deal
of what goes on in the show could happen to
them, and when it doesn’t they’ll feel cheated.
The best example, which also makes watching
water-boarding not all that painful, is The Hills.
It’s essentially a show that glamourizes the lives
of wealthy teenagers as they zip around Los An-
geles in their BMWs and spend whole episodes
complaining about their love lives. It’s sex, drugs,
and easy, happy endings. Producers for many of
MTV’s reality shows have gone on record stat-
ing that whatever is seen on the show is directly
what is happening at that specific moment, but
numerous published articles quote whistle-
blowers saying that entire scenes and plot lines
are staged and re-shot by the producers. One
funny, albeit expected, trip up for the producers
was getting ‘cast mates’ for leading lady Lauren
Conrad. The bio on Audrina Patridge’s homep-
age contained this explanation: “Living a stone’s
throw away from the MTV production of The
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22 \\ OPINION \\ 03.05.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca
Hills, Audrina was spotted sunbathing by the
pool and asked by a producer if she would like
to join the cast. She happily accepted her role
as the dear friend of Lauren Conrad and Heidi
Montag in what was sure to be the beginning
of her enticing career.” Yeah, I’m pretty sure in
real life your “best friends” aren’t auditioned by
MTV producers.
The show is a big deal to millions of people,
and I don’t feel I’m blowing its impact out of pro-
portion. It’s been listed as #82 on Entertainment
Weekly’s list of “100 Best Shows of the Last 25
Years,” and averages an audience of 4.7 million
viewers per episode in the 12–34 demographic.
I’ll bet good money that four million of those
average audience members are girls aged 12–16,
and this is where the trouble begins. The tweens
enchanted by The Hills live lives entirely dictated
by technology and consequently spend a lot of
their days with a TV, cell-phone or computer.
This essentially creates a social bubble within
which each person is zigzagging to and from
friends, part-time jobs, or the mall. MTV’s real-
ity programming perpetuates the blatant lie that
this bubble will never burst. I’m afraid that young
people watching shows like The Hills are going to
expect an impossible future.
Misunderstanding what the world is really
like leads to arrested development, instilling
in people emotional immaturity that doesn’t
transfer well to college, university, or the work-
ing world after high school. Instead of being ex-
posed to what it takes to establish life as an adult,
young people are fooled into expecting to spend
hours doing their nails, gossiping, and souping
up their cars. You could argue that it’s unrealis-
tic to expect that a 16-year-old should watch the
news from time to time, but when I was in high
image courtesy MTV
school, I remember having discussions about the
events of Sept. 11, 2001, and their repercussions
in global politics. Today, you’ve got kids having
round-table discussions about last week’s epi-
sode of The Hills (Please Google “The Hills: The
After Show” for a good dose of reality). To people
reading this, try to introduce reading newspapers
and books into your younger siblings’ lives, be-
cause TV isn’t helping them shape their futures.
Don’t scare them with water and oil shortages
or the 2008–09 Israel-Gaza conflict, but realize
it’s healthy to show siblings that these issues ex-
ist. Further, explain to them that it’s important to
understand the dog-eat-dog job market they’ll
be entering into. If they realize the competition
they’re up against, maybe they will think about
committing to post-secondary education. Addi-
tionally, teaching siblings to managing finances at
an early age can help them establish the financial
discipline required in adulthood. They need to
realize that not everything is fashion design and
choosing the right bikini.
The consequences of MTV’s reality program-
ming and the tight grip the network has on teen-
agers are frightening. Twenty years down the
road, North America will have an adult popula-
tion of deeply jaded, deeply depressed, and—in
many cases—deeply spoiled men and women.
Those who have a hard time coming to terms
with the fact that their work, their relationships,
and their financial situations aren’t as easy to
patch up as the ones on TV are going to crash and
burn pretty early and pretty epically after gradu-
ating from high school. Oh, those kids are in for
one big surprise when their bubbles burst.
Thankfully, the upcoming fifth season of The
Hills will reportedly be its last—so there’s hope
for my sisters yet.
Saving the
environment
two slices at a time
by Andrew Champagne
Fulcrum Contributor
THE LAST TIME I got upset was when I was
at the University of Ottawa cafeteria buying two
slices of pizza from Pizza Pizza. Knowing very
well that I was going to eat both slices imme-
diately, I asked that they both be placed on the
same cardboard pizza tray. To my surprise the
employee refused and attested that his supervi-
sors do not allow it for fear of people possibly
trying to pass off two slices of pizza as one at the
cash register. To me, it’s ridiculous that a cashier
could not notice if there were two thick pizza
slices stacked on top of one another.
In any case, Chartwells, I think it’s great that
you’re trying to preach sustainability, but some-
thing isn’t adding up here. Your Eco-Card, which
gives me a free meal after I buy nine meals served
on a plates instead of in Styrofoam containers, is
a terrific idea. Not only that, I think it’s great that
I get 20 cents off the price of coffee when I bring
my own plastic mug. But Chartwells, if you’re
going to exploit the public’s growing environ-
mental consciousness with a marketing strategy
to boost your reputation, it may be smart to
standardize your practices. Why not give me 20
cents off the price of pizza when I put two slices
on the same tray? Am I being less eco-friendly
by sparing a pizza tray rather then a coffee cup
or a styrofoam container? Whether or not I get a
discount or a stamp on my Eco-Card, you could
at least start stacking up some plates at the Pizza
Pizza for those who feel inclined to use them.
I could fit two pizza slices on a plate, and the
cashiers would see them just fine.
 23
Frank Appleyard

Editorial March 5–11, 2009

Editor-in-Chief
editor@thefulcrum.ca

f
Draining threes
from downtown since 1942.
Volume 69 - Issue 23
Sparking a renaissance
March 5–11, 2009
phone: (613) 562-5261
fax: (613) 562-5259
631 King Edward Ave.
Ottawa, ON K1N 6N5
editor@thefulcrum.ca
www.thefulcrum.ca

Recycle this paper or we’ll break

out the salami and cheese.

Staff
Frank ‘air’ Appleyard
Editor-in-Chief
editor@thefulcrum.ca

Ben ‘magic’ Myers

Production Manager
production@thefulcrum.ca

Michael ‘the stilt’ Olender

Executive Editor
executive@thefulcrum.ca

Martha ‘hot plate’ Pearce

Art Director
design@thefulcrum.ca

Emma ‘chocolate thunder’ Godmere

News Editor
news@thefulcrum.ca

Peter ‘the mailman’ Henderson

Arts & Culture Editor

arts@thefulcrum.ca
David ‘jesus shuttlesworth’ McClelland
Sports Editor
sports@thefulcrum.ca
Sarah ‘the answer’ Leavitt
Features Editor
features@thefulcrum.ca
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Copy Editors
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Associate News Editor
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Webmaster
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Volunteer & Visibility
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Staff Proofreader
T
HIS TIME LAST year all the Uni-
versity of Ottawa women’s bas-
ketball team had left to do was
clean out their lockers, take one
last look around the Montpetit Hall gym-
nasium, and quietly turn out the lights on
the season. The Gee-Gees had stumbled to a
3-19 regular season record and head coach
Carlos Brown was informed by Sports Ser-
vices that he would not be returning to the
sidelines in the following year. After not
making the playoffs for three seasons, the
team’s image was faded, torn around the
edges, and players and fans alike were long
on disappointment and short on optimism.
But this year the Gees have one addi-
tional task to complete before they wrap
up the 2008–09 season: compete for the na-
tional title. They will be arriving in Regina
for the March 6–9 Canadian Interuniversity
Sport (CIS) national championships having
compiled a 15-7 regular season record, and
fresh off a berth in the Ontario University
Athletics (OUA) final. The Gees are confi-
dent, competitive, and boasting a sparkle
that basketball fans at the U of O and across
the country can’t ignore. It’s a true Cinder-
ella story.
But it is in dissecting the Gees’ success this
year that the tale becomes all the more capti-
vating. At the Canadian university level such
rapid change cannot be spawned by throw-
ing money at talented players or by trading
for the game’s finest. Rather, revolutionary
change comes from the hands of visionaries;
those capable of not only coaching, but of
building, moulding, and inspiring.
Head coach Andy Sparks has proven
himself to be such an architect.
Brought in last summer to take over a
team of mostly young players and with little
time to recruit new talent, few imagined
that Sparks—who had never previously held
a head coaching position at the university
level—could lead the Gees to the heights
they now find themselves occupying. And
certainly not so quickly. The depth of Sparks’
coaching clearly goes far beyond manipu-
lating ‘x’s and ‘o’s on a chalkboard. He has
forged a team atmosphere and imparted a
strategic vision for the Gees’ growth, while
re-drafting the women’s basketball program
into one built on confidence, determina-
tion, cohesion, and above all, success. By all
accounts, Sparks—who was recently named
OUA East coach of the year—is every bit the
mastermind the Gee-Gees’ results this year
have indicated.
Fifth-year centre Katie Laurie offered
perhaps the most significant testimony of
Sparks’ influence, saying, “We want to win
for him.” Such statements are not made
of average coaches—they are reserved for
those who do not only instruct players, but
who build winners. Such coaches instill
passion, pride, and responsibility while giv-
ing their players the tools to be successful.
In only nine months on the job, Sparks has
done exactly this, dramatically overhauling
not just the Gee-Gees play on the court, but
their approach to the game and to being a
team.
Of course, Sparks is not solely respon-
sible for the Gees’ success. The fundamen-
tal attitude shift he catalyzed has been
embraced by each and every member of
the team, many of whom have matured
tremendously in as little as one year sport-
ing Garnet and Grey. The players have cast
aside the haunting memories of last season
and emerged as a cohesive unit dedicated
to winning week in and week out. While
it takes a great coach to build successful
teams, it takes the commitment and persis-
tence of each and every player to translate
attitude into results.
It matters little whether or not the Gees
bring home a trophy, a medal, or even a
single win from the CIS championships.
The team has already accomplished the un-
thinkable, emerging from the tatters of last
season and restoring a shimmer to the repu-
tation of the Gee-Gees women’s basketball
program. When the Gees take that last look
around the gym at the end of this season
it should be with a well-deserved sense of
triumph.
editor@thefulcrum.ca

Robert ‘the worm’ Olender

On-campus Distributor
Deidre ‘white chocolate’ Butters
Advertising Representative
ads@thefulcrum.ca
Ross ‘q-rich’ Prusakowski
Business Manager
business.manager@thefulcrum.ca
Contributors
Eleni ‘the pocket rocket’ Armendkis Jacyln ‘the cobra’ Lytle
Dave ‘the black hole’ Atkinson Jordan ‘microwave’ Moffatt
Andrew ‘porky’ Champagne Maureen ‘little general’ Robinson
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Justin ‘the rain man’ Farinaccio Alex ‘l-train’ Smyth
Andrew ‘mr. mean’ Hawley Kathryn ‘silk’ Shermak
Liam ‘larry legend’ Kennedy-Slaney Nick ‘d-wade’ Taylor-Vaisey
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