From Frog Raising for Profit and other Bizarre Books. Odd titles...

The Hookers of Kew - Biography of a family of botanists How it Was Done at Stowe school - The author did not like the way it was done at all Te Resistance of Piles to Penetration - Important treatise on a common problem Enter Ye In, J S Baxter, followed 21 years later by Going Deeper Penetrating Wagner's Ring - Analysis of the composer's masterpiece The Big Problem of Small Organs - Size is important to the author/musician And There I stood With My Piccolo in My Hand - The author of several music books describes his most embarrassing moment. The Ups and Downs of Lady Di - Unusually prophetic fairy tale wherein Lady Di ha s her bustle fondled by an old crone who later turns into a handsome prince. Why Bring That Up? - A 'Guide to and From Seasickness'. Weymouth, the English Naples - Any suggestion of similarity is purely ridiculous Jokes Cracked by Lord Aberdeen - Tartan-bound 'gems' from his collection There's a book on that? Locomotive Boiler Explosions Anglo-Saxon Writs The 'Walking Stick' Method of Self-Defence A Toddler's Guide to the Rubber Industry 50 New Creative Poodle Grooming Styles How to Shave Yourself by 'An Expert' Liver Building, Liverpool. List of Stop cocks How to Abandon Ship An Essay Upon Wind; with curious anecdotes of eminent peteurs. On the Composition of Farmyard Manure A Pictorial Book of Tongue Coating (257 pictures of people sticking out their to ngues) Bournemouth in Lung Troubles (A photo of a copy of this book is included, which the authors point out could not have been read by the owner as 'the phlegm-stain ed cover clearly testifies.') How to be Happy Though Married 10 Good Tricks With Empty Bass Bottles How to Boil Water in a Paper Bag The Great Pantyhose Crafts Book Recollections of Squatting in Victoris The Wit of Prince Phillip To the Curious: The Word Scissars Appears Capable of More Variations in Spelling than Any Other (A long title and 480 variants!) A Handbook of Hanging (With tasteful cover of This is one of those times when I don't have any particular theme in mind. So I figured I'd rip off an article I read in Maxim magazine several years ago. Wait a minute, that's plagiarism, and plagiarism is wrong. So I'm just gonna write do wn some observations and questions I come up with in the average day. How is it many products have a coloring called "yellow #5," but you never see ye llow #3 or yellow #7? I think maybe yellow #5 just likes to take all the credit. Nobody ever says "I think vertebrae are really overrated." I think, because of what they're called, nuns may tend to have low self esteem. I move to have them called forever after, "persons of an adequate quantity." One day, just for fun, start telling people random things, like "I'm wearing sho es, get it?" See who gets it, avoid them.

I want to name my firstborn son Zaglar the Devourer, after my uncle. He was a co ncert pianist. Somewhere in the world, at this very moment, someone is having the exact same th ought as you are. Personally, I wouldn't take that sort of crap. You ever get the feeling someone's laughing at you behind your back, only to fin d out they were doing it right in front of you the whole time? If I ever got to be king for a day, I'd have to have my cape and scepter with me everywhere I went. Then I'd decree that I would be king for life. If that didn' t work out, I'd still want to keep the scepter. I can't say the words "dangling participle" without giggling. I've never seen an orangutan and a mongoose in the same place at the same time. I think it's about time they learned to get along. Did you ever spin around as fast as you could when you were little, just to see how dizzy you could get? Don't you feel stupid now?