Volume 4, Issue 5—no.

14—December 2008

HOPSTAKEN INTERNATIONAL — AMSTERDAM– HCMC — DEVENTER ♫

What is Wisdom???
“The moment a person realizes that reality has many faces, he/she takes the first step on the road to wisdom.”

Dear Friends,
CRISIS? WHICH CHAPTER IS
In the previous issue I
misquoted a Navy com-
mercial. It should have
THAT?
been: “When you die,
they say your life passes True, most books on business administration do not mention what to do in ti-
by like a movie. It better mes of a serious economic crisis. This is the time when it all comes down to
be an interesting movie.” ‘thinking on your feet’, on improvisation, on applying the right tools and if they
aren’t at hand, to invent them. Although we may celebrate the end of the Bush
Well, our life’s movie is era, it’s yet too early to applaud Mr. Obama for results. He’ll have a very hard
an interesting one. The
highlight for me was my
job to repair the damage done, to restore the image of his country, and to win
wedding with Huong back trust. But he gained a lot to start with, and his election victory gives hope.
(Jane), with Peter as my We’ll have to write our own chapter on crisis
Best Man and Monique
management, now that several theories on economic
my Best Lady. It was a
lovely wedding. Finding business and financial management have proven to be
the love of your life is worthless, or even dangerous. It’s time for real change.
one. Getting married is
two. Reaching your
life’s destination, and
moving on from there,
is three: the goal we all
live for. Sure, it’s still
hard work, uncertain-
ties, a need to be creati-
ve to overcome barriers.

Yet, this is life. Not

always easy. But …
wouldn’t it be boring if
we had no problems?

Loek

Above: sign on a 1,000 liter barrel of Phu Quoc fish sauce.

CONTENTS: a.o. Right: street banner in Ho Chi Minh City.
Wisdom survey 2 That was Obama’s core message. Now, change isn’t
always the result of a need for change. Sometimes it’s
Dreaming 3
the start of a new chapter, because people just want to
Useless Knowledge 5 confirm their change. In business it’s a merger. In our
private life, Dept. of Love, it’s marriage. (See p. 24)
Wise crackers 6

7 Habits 8
“There are no rules for friendship. It must be left to
Snap shots 13
itself. We cannot force it any more than love.”
Love & Marriage 19 William Hazlitt (1778-1830, British essayist)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 2

The 2008 Wisdom??? Survey

Past issues of Wisdom. I like to leaf through them, seeing new
and familiar faces. Others are as interested in you as you are in
them.
Right? So … fill our maibox. Articles, photos … don’t sit on
them, mail them to us. Show your current looks & share your cur-
rent ideas: hopstakeninternational@gmail.com is OPEN!

THE 2008 SURVEY

Actually, it’s the first survey since the so-called ‘zero’-edition, distribu-
ted back in August 2005. Why a survey? We want to know if we’re still
on the right track. We are interested in ANY feedback, and when we
don’t receive it spontaneously, we ask for it. Politely.
So please take a few minutes to reply to our survey. Your answers will
be taken seriously, of course.

1. How do you like the new layout / format of Wisdom???

2. Wisdom??? started as an alumni mag for former DDU-students.
Soon we added the DDU BBA/MBA graduate students to the
mailing list. Since late 2007 Peter works for Wittenborg; since
December 2007 I have been delivering seminars there. Early
2008 we decided to combine DDU & Wittenborg in Wisdom???.
Is this alright with you?
a. If you’re DDU: do you mind the mix with Wittenborg?
b. If you’re Wittenborg, do you mind the mix with DDU?
3. Is there anything you miss in Wisdom???
4. In issue no. 13 (October 2008), which page did you like best?
5. Do you appreciate the ‘extra editions’?
6. Did you ever miss an issue due to a spam filter, or other reason?
7. We have tried to stimulate readers to write. Initially this resulted
in a few fine articles. However, it soon ‘dried up’. What would be
the cause of this?
8. If you were the editor of Wisdom??? ...
a. what would you change?
b. what would you leave untouched?

Please send us your opinions & ideas:

hopstakeninternational@gmail.com.

Thanks!!!
Note: the email address above is accessible to both Peter & Loek.

“You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things – to compete. You can
be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.”
Sir Edmund Hillary (1919-2008, New Zealand mountaineer and explorer. Nepalese Sherpa Tenzing Norgay and
Hillary first reached the summit of Mount Everest / Sagarmatha in 1953.)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 3

Before reality there is a dream … making it happen (1)

Sometime ago ‘The Secret’ was published. An international bestseller, not in the least s a result of a very
clever and well-executed promotional campaign. The book describes the ‘Law of Attraction’: that which
you desire will come to you, providing it is a positive desire. It’s about strongly visualizing a wish of the
kind that has all-positive characteristics. All-positive: not only good for you, but also for others, for na-
ture, the world, etc. In other words, a wish that will not meet any opposition. Core message: when you
wish it, it will happen. In the documentary film that was shown on tv, a number of authors of ‘self help’
books enhance ‘The Secret’, and add tips to practice the Law of Attraction. What happened: after rea-
ding the book, many people started to believe that just wishing something would result in a wish-come-
true. A dream would be reality: BANG, just-like-that. Although the book contains some remarks about
doing something yourself to make the dream come true, many people prefer to ignore this crucial element.
Or even more complicated: to determine whether something is positive enough. And from experience,
I can tell you that making a dream, come true takes QUITE an effort. And it doesn’t stop there: kee-
ping the now realized dream alive, and further , is a daily effort. Of course, when the dream has come
true, you pick the fruits. But just like with any fruit tree, it needs Tender Loving Care to bear fruit, again
and again.
“When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” Benjamin Franklin

2009 is about to begin, and the new Moon Year will start within 5 weeks. So the time for our ‘new year
resolutions’ has arrived once again. Most people make the same mistake as the readers of The Secret.
They believe some magic will make their dream come true. I admit, luck is a factor. And the authors of
The Secret are right in stating that committing yourself to realization of your dream somehow helps you
have more luck: fact is, that you are focused at
finding opportunities. Once you find one and
use it, it’s often labelled as ‘luck’. Perhaps some
of it is. But most of it is … work. Hard work.
Which is not always fun. But the reward of rea-
lization of your dream is such, that it makes all
the hardship worth it. And as a wise man
once said, the road to happiness can be full
of happy moments when you care to appreciate
them for what they are: small steps towards
fullfillment. And once your dream is reality:
work hard atkeeping it alive, nourish it. And
don’t forget: dream a new dream. So there will always be something to look forward to, to fight for.
The secret: follow your chosen path, and be determined to reach its end. When you do, have a next
chosen path ready. On the way: face the bad times, and enjoy the good times. Yes: love makes it all run
easier and smoother. But it doesn’t pay your bills ... only your actions will. You know which one. LH

It is not the critic who counts. Not the man who points out how the strong man
stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to
the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and
blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who
knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy
cause. Who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and
who at the worst, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be
with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
Theodore Roosevelt
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 4

Two wonderful words from Dr. Goodword (www.alphadictionary.com)

WHEREWITHAL
Pronunciation: hwer-with-awl
Part of Speech: Noun
Meaning: The (financial) means to do something.
Notes: Wherewithal is an odd little word, a lexical orphan with no derivational family. Withal ‘in addition,
among other things’ seems to be a relative but is only coincidentally composed of the same words:
“Tryon Makepeace is withal an excellent negotiator,” meaning that among his other talents, he
negotiates well.
In Play: Withal is a bit outdated but wherewithal is still very much alive around the English-speaking
world; it most frequently refers to finances: “Gooden Small did not have the wherewithal to buy the
yacht he wanted, so he settled for a rather modest speedboat.” This word may, however, be used to
refer to strengths outside the realm of finance: “I don’t think Lil Beaver has the emotional wherewithal
to survive another divorce.”
Word History: English has a dying set of compound adverbs made up of where + a preposition in which
where means ‘which’. For example, the house wherein I reside means “the house in which I reside.” The
tools wherewith to complete the job means ‘the tools with which to complete the job’. This makes sense
with the original meaning of wherewithal: ‘all with which (one needs to ...)’ It is odd for an adverb to slip
into the grammatical garb of a noun, but stranger things have happened in English.

MAVERICK (plus a note on ‘gobbledygook’)

Pronunciation: mæ-vêr-ik
Part of Speech: Noun
Meaning: 1. A calf or other animal that has left the herd and has not been branded, so that anyone who
brands it can claim ownership. 2. A garrulous individualist, an iconoclast who lives by his or her own ru-
les, posing a threat to others.
Notes: Maverick is a maverick word, a garrulous individual with no lexical kin. It may, however, be used
‘as is’ adjectivally, “Buck Shott is a maverick CEO who took a chance no one else would take to produce
and market electric ice skates.”
In Play: Although we generally use the term to refer to iconoclasts who pose some sort of threat, we owe
a lot to mavericks. Galileo and Charles Darwin were among the scientific mavericks who grandly
expanded our understanding of the world. Henry Ford started out as a maverick who revolutionized
manufacturing. Those of us who have been around for a while remember Bret (James Garner) and Bart
(Jack Kelly) Maverick on the US TV show Maverick, popular in the 1960s or the 1994 movie reprise
with Mel Gibson. They were cowboys who lived around the edge of the law, mavericks among the
cowboy heroes of the time in their lack of courage.
Word History: The eponym of today’s word is Texas cattleman, Samuel Maverick (1803-1870), who let the
calves in his herd roam unbranded. Other ranchers, who initially ‘adopted’ them, referred to them as
‘Maverick’s’ but the term soon migrated into mavericks.
An interesting side note: Sam’s grandson, Maury Maverick, coined the word gobbledygook to describe
bureaucratic doubletalk. While serving in the U.S. Congress (1935-1939), he explained that he based the
word on the sound of turkeys (the flying kind) back in Texas, who were “. . . always gobbledy-gobbling
and strutting with ludicrous pomposity.” At the end of this gobble there is, according to Maverick, a sort
of ‘gook’.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 5

Useless Knowledge
1. The first stock market: Amsterdam
600 years ago Bruges, a thriving port in what is now Belgium, a money and debt market evolved in and
around the house of the Beurse family. 400 years ago the golden age of Bruges was past, as it no longer had
a connection to the sea. A city 200 km north was at starting its golden age, and had become a global trade
center: Amsterdam. Here, the Dutch East India Company financed its trade by selling shares. This trade in
East India Company shares became the first stock market. The Dutch word for stock market is ‘beurs’: the
old Bruges family name lives on. The first shares may have lost their stock value, but they belong to the
most sought-after collector’s items. On http://www.oldest-share.com/index.html you can check the evi-
dence. I wonder what would have happened if this kind of trade wouldn’t have been invented. Some claim
this marks the start of capitalism.
Today, modesty reigns the stock markets, as it
is now proven beyond any doubt, that it’s really
a casino, where greed, luck and reaction time
determine fortune, rather than clever reaso-
ning. And as in a real casino, the guy who wins
likes to think it’s his cleverness that made the
difference. This delusion is similar to what we
have seen in the stock markets and the busi-
ness world these past few decades. ‘Free for all’
economists dictated deregulation and no
governmental interference. This is now past; all
around the world governments have interfered
in attempts to limit and control the damage.
Now, once again it’s looking for a new balance.

1. Amsterdam: the cradle of the stock market

2. Administratium: a scientific breakthrough
2. A Scientific Breakthrough
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. This new element has been tentatively named ‘Administratium.’
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neu-
trons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by particles called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reacti-
on with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take
more than four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorgani-
zation, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons
exchange places. In fact, Administratium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganizati-
on causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
‘Critical Morass.’ You will know it when you see it.

“Logic takes you from A to B. Imagination takes you everywhere.”

Albert Einstein
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 6

Wise Crackers
“If you have a great
ambition, take as big
a step as possible in
the direction of ful-
filling it. The step
may only be a tiny
one, but trust that it
may be the largest
one possible for
now.”
Mildred Mcafee
“The man who re-
moves a mountain
begins by carrying
away small stones.”
Chinese proverb

Right: summer of 2008—

Parnassia Beach, Holland

A Groovy Kind of Love Judgment Day

Humans have a tendency to judge before collecting
enough data to make a fair judgment. We judge, inter-
When I’m feeling blue pret, react emotionally, jump to conclusions, assume all
All I have to do kinds of things, prejudice … instead of taking a little
Is take a look at you time to find out what’s REALLY going on. This is a
Then I’m not so blue true booby trap in communication: once you hit it, the
When you’re close to me back flash is worse. This nearly incurable disease is a
I can feel you heart beat main cause of trouble—in particular, ‘right wrong box’
I can hear you breathing situations (see Wisdom??? no. 13).
In my ear You need to be able to take a little distance, keep your
Wouldn’t you agree? head cool enough to allow yourself to observe reality as
Baby, you and me got a groovy kind of love it is; to be as objective as you can. This is a true skill:
while the whole world wants you to react and respond,
Any time you want to you make a clear analysis followed by your conclusion,
and decision to share or not share your findings. Bo-
You can turn me on to
ring? Sure.
Anything you want to
Any time at all Communication works only when it’s done voluntarily.
And why add another unfounded opinion to the vast
When I kiss your lips ocean of pointless statements? To entertain? To fill a
Ooh, I start to shiver newspaper? To avoid silence in a conversation?
Can’t control the quivering inside
Sometimes I long for silence. The kind of silence that
Wouldn’t you agree? heals your spirit, as you’re disconnected from the ocean.
Baby, you and me, we got a groovy kind of love
Let’s leave judgments to Judges. That’s their job.

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
Wayne Dyer (1940-, American psychotherapist, author, lecturer)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 7

Before reality there is a dream … making it happen (2)

Space to dream your dream

Write it down.

Ready? Action!

“2009 New Year Resolutions (Don’t read before Dec. 31!)

Happy New Year Blogaholics. I hope you all had a great time with your families and loved ones. On the premise that
I normally do the opposite to my New Years Resolutions these are mine this year.
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Spend my entire summer holiday in Yahoo! 360°, MSN, MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, Tagged,
LinkedIn & Plaxo.
7. Create loose ends.
8. Get further in debt.
9. Believe everything the Politicians say.
10. Break at least one traffic law.
11. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.
12. Wait around for opportunity.
13. Focus on the faults of others.
14. Mope about my faults.
15. Hog as much of the bed as I can.”

(picked from a Yahoo! 360° blog)

But … seriously (from Wisdom no. 3):

How to complete a goal
Here are the latest statistics from the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) on the
probability of completing a goal:
· Hear (Get) an idea 10%
· Consciously decide to adopt it 25%
· Decide when you will do it 40%
· Plan how you will do it 50%
· Commit to someone else that you will do it 65%
 VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 8

“Find Your Voice, and Inspire Others to Use Theirs.”

The Rise & Rise of Stephen Covey’s ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’

Many people dream of writing a book. Many of those dream of writing a bestselling book. When a
bestseller is a novel, the author dreams of it being turned into a movie. Or to receive the Nobel Prize for
Literature for it, one day. When a bestseller is non-fiction, the author’s dream may be to have it turned
into a documentary, or to have it promoted at major schools and universities as a recommended text
book. Sometimes the promotion of a book that becomes a bestseller leads to the author becoming some
kind of Star. You see her or him on TV, read about her or his private life, or see an advertisement that
the author will be in town to sign books, or to deliver a lecture. When the author is a fine public speaker,
this may result in a very well paid activity. Many people like to see a famous person, and when you have a
few million fans, they will come to see you when you’re in town.
One of those famous authors is Stephen R. Covey. His bestselling book: ‘The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People’, first came out in 1989. Soon to be 20 years ago. My 1990 edition carries the hreading:
‘over 10 million sold’. Since then, it has always been available. What makes this book so popular? It
inspires people to follow the example of successful people. Not with impossible advice, but with simple
yet sharply formulated statements. And a use of words which arrive easily in our minds. I’m not sure, but
he may be the one who popularized the word ‘proactive’. To understand the full meaning and use of
these ‘habits’, read the book. To give you a taste, this is from the book’s contents:
Private Victory
Habit 1: Be Proactive—Principles of Personal Vision
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind—Principles of Personal Leadership
Habit 3: Put First Things First—Principles of Personal Management
Public Victory
Habit 4: Think Win/Win—Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood—Principles of Empathic Communication
Habit 6: Synergize—Principles of Creative Cooperation
Renewal
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw—Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal.
15 years later, he published ‘The 8th Habit’: Find Your Voice, and Inspire Others to Use Theirs.

You can imagine that this final one is a very personal

statement from a man whose bestseller turned him into an
overnight VIP, kept his integrity alive, and has been living
his habits himself. You could say, that’s a 9th habit: be a
shining example of your own beliefs.
Even after nearly 20 years, Covey’s ‘Habits’ are highly
readable, and make total sense. I’m curious to know how
far his views transgress cultural boundaries. If you have
read this book, and wish to comment on it, get in touch.

I guess it’s not a bad idea to write a bestseller. Now it’s a

matter of finding the right words and razor sharp
statements. Covey is a master at this:
“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone
else tries to light that fire under you, chances
are it will burn very briefly.” Stephen Covey
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 9

Peter in Vietnam (1)

Left: Peter in Loek’s Ho Chi Minh City hotel room,
Nov. 15. Below: Peter with Vinh & his wife on the
steps of Vang Son Restaurant, where Loek & Jane’s
wedding party was about to start.
Middle left: Nga (Anna), as seen by Peter from the
back of her motorbike. Bottom left: 3 Saigon bikers.
Bottom right: Anna with her parents in Binh Quoi
park, where they took Peter for lunch.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 10

Wittenborgers
The final months of the year have been busy times at Wittenborg. Gra-
duations, of course. Also, partying. Clockwise from top left: Graduate
Maarten Wender; Graduate Peter Zhang proudly showing his Bachelor
certificate (‘with Distinction’); Lasantha observing a graduation assign-
ment presentation (note his crutches); Mr. Peter Birdsall with alumnus/
staff Florentin Popescu and (former) HR lady Marion Balke; Graduates
Alexander de Jonge Oudraat & Jelle Visser; Peter Z. with graduation-
thesis ‘Big Boss’: Dick Bos, and in the middle a very happy Lasantha.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 11

Servant Leadership
Remember ‘Ciao’ in Wisdom no. 13? The original meaning is “I am your servant”. Since business man and
entrepreneur mr. Robert K. Greenleaf introduced the concept in 1970, servant leadership has been recogni-
zed worldwide as a universal, yet practical management philosophy. With it comes a tool box that is being
taught all over the planet, under the supervision of the Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership. Many ma-
nagement schools and universities have now included it in their curriculum.
As with all sound systems, it’s based on experience, and common sense. It has been thoroughly tested in ma-
ny situations. The ultimate test is applying it in different cultures. Sofar, there is a rapidly growing interest in
Servant Leadership in Asia: entrepreneurs in India, Singapore, China, Vietnam and Malaysia are showing ac-
tive interest. In 2009 I hope to be part of its further introduction in Asia. To give you a flavor of what it’s all
about, these are the Ten Characteristics of a Servant Leader:

1. Listening (others; self; reflection)

2. Empathy (recognizing, accepting uniqueness in people)
3. Healing (transformation and integration of self and others)
4. Awareness (general, esp. self-awareness)
5. Persuasion (rather than use of authority)
6. Conceptualization (think the future; dream great dreams; beyond every day reality)
7. Foresight (learning from the past, realities of the present; consequences of decision)
8. Stewardship (holding something in trust for another)
9. Commitment to growth of people (each individual within the organization)
10. Building community (within the organization)

What makes these 10 characteristics extra interesting, is that they do not only apply to leaders and top
managers. They are also 100% applicable on an individual level: evidence of a sound system. In fact, you
could say that these are basic competencies for living and working. Imagine you and your career, you and
your family, you and your team mates.
The current CEO of the Greenleaf Center, dr. Kent M. Keith, recently published a book: The Case for
Servant Leadership. One part describes the differences between the traditional power model of leadership,
and the service model. Another title of interest is ‘It’s not About Coffee’, by Howard Behar—the man
who made Starbucks great, and himself a Servant Leader. Both are affordable, and can be ordered at
http://www.greenleaf.org/index.html.

“It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first.
Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.”
Robert K. Greenleaf
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 12

Useless Knowledge (2)

YOU OWN TWO COWS
When working in intercultural environments, it works best to avoid topics that deal with religion and
politics. Still, these are part of everyday life, and one needs to know something about them. As religion is
an even more sensitive topic, I’ll avoid that here. Politics however, can be illustrated in a simple way. No
definitions, learning by example (source unknown).
Feodalism
You own two cows. The landowner takes a part of the milk.
Socialism
You own two cows. Government puts them in collective stables. You have to take care of someone
else’s cows. You get as much milk as you need.
Bureaucratic socialism
You own two cows. Government puts them in collective stables. They are being taken care of by chic-
ken-farmers. You have to take care of the chicken. You get as much milk as the rules allow you to.
Capitalism
You own two cows. You sell one
and buy a bull.
Dictatorship
You own two cows. Government
takes them and shoots them.
Anarchy
You own two cows. You sell
your own milk on a common
market for a fair price. Meanwhi-
le, your neighbours steal your
cows and get away unpunished.
Bureaucracy
You own two cows. First govern-
ment determines what to feed
them. Then you are paid not to
milk them. Next, one cow is
slaughtered. The milk of the other one is destroyed. Finally, you have to fill in forms to explain the cow
that disappeared.

This way of dealing with tough topics can be quite enlightening. Here are some more examples:
Trust
You have two cows. You go on holiday and ask your friend to take care of them while you’re away. You
return and they are in great shape.
Marriage
You have two handsome cows. You introduce them to two handsome bulls.
Employment
You have two cows. You give the money you make to the person who takes care of them.
Financial crisis
You have two cows. You put a fence around them and make sure the taxman doesn’t find out you have
two cows. Or two hundred thousand.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 13

China snap shots: our usual suspects

Top left: Liu Fan (Sarah) back home in Nanning. Above: Liu Yan
(Eileen) congratulating Zhou Lincheng (Apple) on her 25th birthday.
Right: this symbolizes a happy and Below left: Joe & Chrissie ready to get married. Below right: Yan Van
successful marriage - a wonderful and Rooij-Chen (Morgan) on holiday in Shangri-La.
working combination of characters. A
Chinese symbol that is present at every
Vietnamese wedding.

“The past is an illusion. You must learn to live in the present

and accept yourself for what you are now. What you lack in flexibility
and agility you must make up with knowledge and constant practice.”
Bruce Lee (1940-1973) Chinese-American Actor, Director, Author, Martial Artist
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 14

Writing is organizing thoughts into a message

It’s not always easy to express thoughts and turn them into a clear message. You all know about written
exams: the pressure is on, you must show what you know within a short time, and in a few sentences.
Many times I have witnessed the mental and creative struggle of students. And many times I have seen
results that impressed me: the fruits of this struggle. Sometimes, outright brilliant. At other times though, a
good student would have an ‘off day’: the words didn’t come out right, and despite the effort, the exam
was but a weak representation of what the student really knew, or could do.
Writing is a skill. One of those skills you need to practice—again and again. Every day. When I don’t write
for a few weeks, I always face a slow start. Some of the routine has worn off, and I need to get it back.
How? By writing some more. One of my teachers told me that one should write for at least 30 minutes per
day. He did so himself. He taught me that writing is organizing your thoughts into a message. And when
you do this every day for at least half an hour, your mind will be clear, ready to think rational thoughts, to
reason, to use logic. He also said, that most thoughts are based on emotions.
At first, I rejected this. Only to find out through the years that most of my thoughts and actions are indeed
based upon my personal feelings. He was so right! When I asked him about jokes, funny stories, and my
favorite entertainment: absurd humor (from Charlie Chaplin to Mr. Bean and ‘Little Britain’) he said:
“Only very bright minds can make top quality, universally liked, timeless comedy. They require a fantastic
amount of logic and rationality.”
The past few years we witness an explosion in writing. Millions of people follow their inner urge to share
thoughts with the world, and create blogs. No one to correct them, they just write, write, and write some
more. For whom? That’s often the question. But the real writer writes for those that ‘pick up’ her/his line
of thought. A public of thousands, or just one. So a writer can be very happy receiving just one piece of
feedback from a reader who shows understanding, or appreciation.
Writing could be said to be an attempt to find someone that agrees with you, rationally and emotionally.
An empathic and understanding reader. Without that someone, writing is a pretty sad affair: a dialogue
with one self. Language is a vehicle to express our thoughts. I hope one day a universal translation machi-
ne will be invented. Not the ones they use today: current translation software is by far not smart enough to
produce decent translations. On the contrary, they often produce nonsense. The problem: computers can-
not recognize feelings, subtleties, and humor. They cannot organize thoughts. They are uninhabited. LH

Right: a Nobel
Prize winner sig-
ning his book: the
Turkish author
Orhan Pamuk.

When someone asks me: “What should I write about?” I tell

him or her: look at an image, ask many questions, let your
fantasy answer them, tell the story that comes to life, and
write it down. Refine it later.” Try it. Use the image on the
right as your inspiration. What’s going on here? What are
they looking at? What is their relationship? Etcetera.

“Until you get dissatisfied, you won’t do anything to really move your life to another level.
Dissatisfaction is a gem. If you’re totally satisfied, you’re going to get comfortable. And then your
life begins to deteriorate.” Anthony Robbins (1960-, American author, trainer)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 15

Bill Harris’ Thoughts on Dealing with Tough Times

Recently, Bill Harris, Director of Centerpointe (www.centerpointe.com) published an article which I
think contains some really good advice.

Is all the financial turmoil — not to mention the already-existing political/election and terrorist/war stress —
getting to you? We’re all connected to the financial system, and though many people have become complacent
again after the bailouts, and because no huge institutions have failed in the last couple of weeks, many experts say
the worst is yet to come. So what can you do? Are we facing a depression like the 1930s? How bad will it get? The
real question, though, is how can you prepare yourself, financially and emotionally, for what might happen. I’d like
to offer my advice, for whatever it’s worth.

First, though I think things could get very bad, the world isn’t going to come to an end. As things get worse, some
people WILL say that it’s coming to an end, but when and if you begin to hear that, it will be a signal that things
are about to get better. Such comments invariably come when things have gotten as bad as they’re going to get.
Second, though it’s tempting to do so, I would avoid finger-pointing and trying to figure out who to blame.
Though there are some people who ARE to blame, in other ways this debacle is a universal cultural event, not
something caused by mean and greedy people in some smoke-filled back room.

For the entire lifetimes of most people reading this, buying whatever you want, but before you have the money, has
been the accepted thing to do. Everyone else seemed to be doing it, and the idea that it might not be the smart
thing to do (spend money before you actually have it) just hasn’t occurred to a lot of people.This has resulted in
many people ending up in debt, which means you spent tomorrow’s money yesterday. When tomorrow comes, you
either have to live on less money, or add MORE debt, which just forestalls the inevitable payback.

To keep the game going, credit markets become more and more leveraged. The bankers did just what they always
do, and what the public wanted them to do — they figured out better and better ways to allow people, corporati-
ons, and other institutions to buy things before they actually had the money to pay for them. The criteria for who
actually had the ability to repay became less and less realistic.
Anyone in the financial industry who didn’t provide this sort of easy credit to people was at a disadvantage, so the
game continued until people who had no money were buying houses they couldn’t afford to pay for. No one,
though, can live on credit forever, and the chickens are now coming home to roost.
I don’t have a crystal ball, but I think we’re facing a massive and fundamental change in the way money works in
this society, and it’s going to involve a period of tough times. So, what can you do?

First, I would suggest focusing on what you can do to improve your own situation, rather than finding someone to
blame, as tempting as it might be. People who feel helpless blame others. Don’t be helpless. If you focus on what
you can do, you’ll save yourself a lot of frustration and aggravation. If you like to feel angry and frustrated, then by
all means blame everyone in sight.

Next, realize that as things become more uncertain — financially, politically, and in other ways — people will begin
to feel helpless. They will feel more isolated and separate. When this happens it’s easier to become more self-
involved. Instead of thinking only of yourself, become more aware of other people and their needs. Yes, look for
your own opportunities, and then help other people see their opportunities — the positives in their own lives. Be-
come a source of inspiration to others.

Crises feed on fear. Help others to look for the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit that exists even in the worst
situations. If you do this, others will look to you for leadership, and your own fortunes will improve in ways you
can’t even imagine.

“Yes, look for your own opportunities, and then help other people see their opportunities — the
positives in their own lives. Become a source of inspiration to others.” Bill Harris
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 16

Thoughts on Dealing with Tough Times (continued)

In terms of your finances, search for solutions for your customers or your employer. See the other person’s point of
view and figure out a way to solve the problems they face. If you do this, your business will thrive while others are
failing. If you are an employee, you’ll have a job when others are being laid off.

My next suggestion is to let go of your attachments to things. Instead, emphasize the value of your relationships.
Material things are nice, but life is really about love and friendship. If you have these things, and cultivate them, your
life will be more meaningful, no matter what the economic conditions.

From a business perspective, focusing on your relationships will strengthen your ability to survive no matter how
bad things get. Sincerely think of the other person and his or her needs. In good times it’s easy to succeed and even
the worst-run business can at least make some money. In tough times, those who really care about their customers
or their employer, and do their best to discover and meet their needs, succeed while others are failing.

If you’ve lost money, or customers, or a job, instead of focusing on what you’ve lost, focus on potential opportuni-
ties and what you can do now. Leave the past in the past, whatever it was, and look to what’s next. And, be willing
to be flexible enough to change, to do something different.

Who knows? Perhaps your losses are the doorway to some amazing new endeavor or adventure that will change
your life for the better — and which might never have happened if those losses you’ve experienced hadn’t happe-
ned. Forget about who you were and begin to dream about who you can be.

I’d also encourage you to get rid of “what if?” thinking. Focus on what you want, and what you can do to get it.
There’s no value or benefit in worrying about the future. Yes, think of the potential challenges, but only to help you
generate plans and solutions that you can take action on now. If there’s something you can’t do anything about, sur-
render to it, and then move on.

When something dreadful happens — and it might — move immediately to, “Okay, that has happened. What are
my options? What can I do now?” Focusing on what has gone wrong has no value. Focusing on what to do next has
great value.

You say you don’t have the tools, resources, or help you need to move ahead? Resolve to do the best with whatever
is available. Take action anyway. This will give you confidence, and this additional confidence will allow you to find
and utilize additional resources — even when it initially seemed like there are none.

Spend time every day — before falling asleep and when you first wake up is an excellent time — thinking about
what you have to be grateful for. Gratitude can make you happy, and happy people seem to attract what they need.

Look for ways to help others, especially those who don’t seem to be able to help themselves. Do it without expec-
ting anything in return. Do it just because we’re all in this together. Go the extra mile for your friends, your custo-
mers, your employer, and even for total strangers. People so want someone to really care about them. If you do
this, you’ll never be alone — and your life will be fulfilling no matter what is happening.

Bill Harris (www.centerpointe.com)

“Go the extra mile for your friends, your customers, your employer, and even for total strangers.
People so want someone to really care about them. If you do this, you’ll never be alone — and
your life will be fulfilling no matter what is happening.”
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 17

Peter in Vietnam (2)

Pics are by Peter, except the

one of the hotel. This is
where he and Loek stayed
before the marriage. Peter
made many pictures of the
Saigon Street Life. He
would ask someone for pe-
mission to take his or her
picture. Language or culture
would no longer be a barrier
to communication. Peter
made several webalbums on
Picasa. If you want to view
them, let us know, and we’ll
send you the links.

“You always pass failure on the way to success.”

Mickey Rooney (American Actor; Judy Garland’s longtime acting partner in her youth)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 18

Great DDU moments: February 2005 Graduates (+)

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 19

Deventer
Deventer, November 8—During my walks from Peter’s
house to school, I’ve passed these locations many times.
When the whole world seems to change, these spots remain
the same. This is quite comforting: some things in life you
can rely on. I’m writing this the day after I took these pictu-
res. Within a few hours, Singapore Airlines will fly me to
Ho Chi Minh City. I said goodbye to Deventer yesterday,
bur when I return in January, I know one thing for sure:
Deventer will still be Deventer. Sure, the trees will be leaf-
less, it will be colder. But those are small details.
There will be many days when you can make pictures like
these. Deventer may change its complexion, not its face.

Ho Chi Minh City, December 5—Today in The Nether-

lands it’s Sinterklaas. Here, Jane washed her 5 dogs and they
dried in the sun within minutes. On the internet I see the
weather is simply awful, cold, rain. What a contrast with
this city! Still, a part of me longs to be in Deventer in De-
cember, when the preparations for the Dickens days are in
full swing and the city lights are at their prettiest. Peter mai-
led me the difference in temperature caused him to catch a
cold. Or did he just miss Vietnam?

Top: Bergkerk in the morning

mist. Above: shop lady prepa-
ring her window for Sinter-
klaas and Xmas. Middle left:
Brink square with fruit from
other continents.
Left: Deventer, November
22. The first winter’s day in
Deventer. Annelies—Peter’s
wife—wrote Loek & Jane’s
names in fresh Deventer ice,
and made a picture.

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” Napoleon Hill
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 20

Behind every piano there’s a story

The piano is a big instrument. You can’t just take it along
with you. In the 18th and 19th centuries it conquered Euro-
pe and North America, in the 20th century the world. Now
you can find pianos in the remotest locations. The piano
player on the left regarded the piano as a complete orches-
tra. In his case, a jazz band. When you hear him play, you
can almost hear which instrument he would use for which
part. The man on the right is a ‘one man band’, who evol-
ved from ‘ragtime’ to a timeless style that is practiced by
millions all over the planet. His name: James P. Johnson.
Around 1916, when he was 22, he had a surprise hit with
‘Carolina Shout’. The man on the left heard this tune, and
tried to copy it. He tried very hard, and eventually mastered
it. He became the no. 1 big band leader: Duke Ellington.

When I’m at Van Kerkwijk’s Piano’s I’m surrounded by piano sounds. Even when no ones plays them. The piano is my favorite musi-
cal instrument. At Van Kerkwijk they restore old Steinway’s and Petrov’s, and know what makes a Bösendorfer so outstanding. And
yet, they do appreciate the great qualities of a Yamaha electric grand piano. Below you see a performance of 5 world class musicians in the
Van Kerkwijk showroom: Louis van Dijk (piano), Frits Landesbergen (Vibraharp), and the famous Rosenberg Trio featuring Stochelo
Rosenberg—the guys who stepped into the footsteps of legendary Django Reinhardt. The Rosenbergs live in Nuenen, the village where
Van Gogh spent his youth. During a workshop I photographed Karin van Kerkwijk, manager, and Ton op de Beek, salesman. Between
the Yamaha and the Bösendorfer you see a € 53,000 concert piano. When you touch a key on this piano, and you’re not moved, you
have a serious defect. One day you may find me at your doorstep with a number of cd’s, trying to cure you. Pianos are carriers of pure
emotion, able to move the hearts & souls of people all over the world. Especially, when played by someone who is also pure emotion.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 21

From Loek’s family vaults

Clockwise,
from top left:
Grandmother
Hopstaken,
Grandfather
Hopstaken,
my parents’
wedding pictu-
re (1933),
and my
Grandparents
from Mother’s
side.
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 22

Rules for a happy workplace

It is said that to have a game, one needs a purpose, some freedoms, and a set of sound rules. Also, it
shouldn’t be too easy. When working with graduation project teams, I like to help them build a sound basis
for the team. It was interesting to see what rules the students came up with, and especially, what punish-
ments they crafted in case a team member would break a rule. Recently I found a set of rules that could ap-
ply to project teams, but also to a workplace environment. It’s a different, but good advice:
1. Do your best to create and maintain a positive atmosphere.
2. When you correct another, do it understandingly en after serious consideration; don’t act on impulse.
3. Ask yourself: “Is it important?” in order to prevent hurry-hurry.
4. Do not bring another colleague down. It spoils the atmosphere.
5. Relay information that may be of importance to another instead of keeping it, in an attempt to save
him or her from trouble.
6. Remember: when two colleagues have a fight, the whole workplace, to some degree, is fighting as
well.
7. Don’t do or say things that will upset the other.
8. Avoid circuitry: don’t repeat the same sound, song or phrase: whether you do it on purpose, or simp-
ly, when you are aware of this.
9. Stimulate an atmosphere where people feel free to make mistakes, and when they do, react responsib-
ly—including, honestly confessing the mistake, and staying composed.

Some people believe that be-

cause of their differences, two
worlds will eventually clash. I
don’t. I believe that differen-
ces are ingredients for new
realities. To me this image
represents a meeting of two
people, resulting in a harmo-
nious blending of their
worlds. LH

“Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”
Les Brown (1945-, American speaker, author, trainer, motivation lecturer)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 23

Faits Divers
The bridge across the IJssel
was made world famous in
1976 by a movie: A Bridge
Too Far. This WWII movie
tells the story of the failed
attempt to drive the Nazis out
of Arnhem, in 1944. The mo-
viemakers were looking for a
bridge that resembled the one
in Arnhem, and found this
one in Deventer. Remember
this was before computer ani-
mation became the standard.
So parts of the movie were
shot in Deventer, and the city
made sure it benefited from
this event.
Photo made by Peter, from his bal-
cony.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the

word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and
equanimity.” Carl Jung (1875-1961, Swiss psychiatrist)

Left: a Great
Cook in Ho
Chi Minh
City— in a
small side
street, a 3
table restau-
rant: our
favorite
breakfast
place.
Right: Peter’s
favorite de-
sert.

Within each of us is a hidden store of energy. Energy we can release to

compete in the marathon of life. Within each of us is a hidden store of
courage. Courage to give us the strength to face any challenge. Within
each of us is a hidden store of determination. Determination to keep
us in the race when all seems lost.
Roger Dawson (British Born American Negotiation Expert, Speaker, Author)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 24

Jane & Loek’s engagement (Peter’s pics)

Ho Chi Minh City, Nov. 16—Lien Huong (Jane) and Loek celebrated their engagement in a traditional Vietnamese way. The event
took place at Jane’s house, the weather was perfect and so was the ceremony. Apart from the family members and close family friends, our
DDU friends whom Loek & Jane always met during Loek’s four previous visits to Vietnam made the event even more special: Tran Thi
Huyen Nga (Anna), Tran Thu Thao (Amy), Tran Trong Van (Van) and Tran Cong Duc (Tony). Van & Tony helped Loek bring
his trays with gifts from his hotel to Jane’s house. On the picture you also see Peter, Amy’s husband Nhat, and Anna’s friend.

See also: www.mywedding.com/loekjane

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 25

Jane & Loek’s wedding (Peter’s pics)

Nov. 22 the marriage in Man Coi Church,

with family, Peter, Monique and her hus-
band David. DDU alumni Chris Pham
and Tung (Fire) had come over from Ha-
noi. The party at Vang Son was a major
success. Happiness & laughter!

See also: www.mywedding.com/loekjane

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 26

Phu Quoc: an unspoilt honeymoon destination

After our wedding, we flew to the island of Phu Quoc, off the south
west coast of Vietnam. Within a few years this marvelous tropical
paradise will become another centre for mass tourism. We enjoyed
its natural beauty, its roughness, its quietness, its sunrises, its sun-
sets, its food, and each other.
Clockwise from top left: our cottage, as seen from the beach; in the
nearby butterfly garden; sunset at sea, while getting ready for squid
fishing; a fisherman passing by while having breakfast; the 2 of us.

See also: www.mywedding.com/loekjane

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 27

Peter in Vietnam (3)

Toasting with Tom & Tommy

From Nov. 15—24 Peter was Loek & Jane’s guest in Ho Chi Minh City. He attended both their engagement and wedding, and in
the meantime, absorbed the HCMC life. Clockwise from top left: in front of a typical HCMC advertising wall; meeting Tom & Tom-
my; eating his first pho; contacting HCMC citizens by collecting images of ‘Saigon streetlife’; completing a wrap; rehearsing for his song
during the church service; having dinner with Nga (Anna) & Loek.

“If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven’t done anything today.”
Lou Holtz (1937-, American football coach)
VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 28

Abundance in HCMC: guess the origins

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 29

Deventer: Dickens Day 2008 (Peter’s pics)

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 30

The Look of Love (music: Burt Bacharach; lyrics: Hal David)

The look of love

Is in your eyes
The look your smile can’t disguise
The look of love
Is saying so much more
Than just words could ever say
And what my heart has heard
Well it takes my breath away

I can hardly wait to hold you

Feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you

You’ve got the look of love

It’s on your face
A look that time can’t erase
Be mine tonight
Let this be just the start
Of so many nights like this
Let’s take a lovers vow
And then seal it with a kiss

I can hardly wait to hold you

Feel my arms around you
How long I have waited
Waited just to love you
Now that I have found you
Don’t ever go
I love you so

Best performance: Dusty Springfield

VOLUME 4, ISSUE 5 PAGE 31

HOPSTAKEN INTERNATIONAL — AMSTERDAM– HCMC — DEVENTER ♫

WHAT IS
WISDOM???
Sofar, What is
Wisdom??? is published
4x a year. When you
want to see your stories
and pictures in the next
edition, make sure I
have it/them at least
two weeks before
publication.
All correspondence:
loek.hopstaken@gmail.
com.
Amsterdam/Ho Chi
Minh City/Deventer
December 23, 2008

Since the 60ies of the 20th Century Amsterdam has a magnetic attraction on
young people. As soon as I could afford a train ticket, I’d go there to check
out the local music and theatre scene.
Most students of DDU and Wittenborg use(d) the opportunity to check out
this city. Thousands of pictures must have been taken on Dam Square, and
other famous sites. The Van Gogh Museum, the Anne Frank House and
one other ‘museum’ (what was that name again?) are no. 1 attractions.
Amsterdam is working on image improvement. Call it a necessary facelift.
When I was in the USA for a few months, the only two items on the news
about Holland were about drugs and prostitution. As you can imagine, this
didn’t make me feel comfortable. The red light district is now ‘under fire’: the
city isn’t happy with this kind of tourist attraction. Another attraction, the
‘çoffee shop’, is still there. For how long? If I had my way, I’d turn the city
centre into a World Heritage Site … close the coffee shops. And only allow
access to cars belonging to inhabitants & delivery vans for shops. Till 10 am.

Left: a wedding gift from

Holland. The good old
pepper & salt set has
evolved. Which one is
peper, which one salt?
Who cares! We may just THE NEXT ISSUE OF WHAT IS WISDOM??? MAY
want to mix them. BE OUT AROUND LATE MARCH 2009