Personal Reection Part 1!

Personal Reection Part 1 Lucy E Denton University of Calgary

Personal Reection Part 1!

I am thrilled to be back at university in my forties in the pre-service teacher

program. Over the past twenty years since I received my rst degree I have travelled around the world, I have been a mother for a decade, I have had my own business and I know myself better now than ever before. I know what is important to me, I know where my passions lie, I know what kind of teacher I want to be. When I read The courage to Teach by Parker Palmer and Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future by Margaret Wheatley I made some important connections between the educational experiences I picked out as important and the kind of adult learner I am and the kind of teacher I want to be. The idea of the undivided self resonated with me (Palmer, 1998, p.4). The notion of the sacred being an everyday experience if we open ourselves to the possibility helped me to better understand myself as an adult learner and as an emerging teacher (Wheatley, 2002, p. 132). ! Before starting this program I do not think I ever really thought about my

educational experience, or what kind of an adult learner I am. I would have said that for the most part I enjoyed my education and was successful. Before becoming an adult

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learner I never encountered a mean or difcult teacher. I had of friends, joined teams, was on student council, was never sent to the ofce for a behavior violation and I liked my teachers, most of them anyway. I did well in High School and went on to nish my Undergraduate Degree at a foreign University with Honors. ! Due to my successful educational experience I was perplexed with the memories

that came to me when I really started to think about what kind of a learner I am. The rst picture that entered my mind was me in Grade Two standing in line at Mrs. Reids desk, clutching my blue checked Phonics workbook. I remember being full of trepidation. Would I get the coveted gold star on my page? Did I answer all the questions correctly? Would pretty Mrs Reid be proud of me? The second picture in my mind is in my Seventh Grade Language Arts class. The name of the teacher escapes me. All I can remember is that we all read a book, me included, and when asked what the book was about I had no idea. All I could remember is that there was a cat in the book. Not sure what the cat did, why he did it or even to whom he did it. ! After nishing High School I travelled and worked for a few years. I went to

University as an adult learner and my experience was different. I remember having passionate seminar debates over the IMFs involvement in Third World underdevelopment. I remember Dr Jones, my Medieval History Professor jumping up on a table in the front of a lecture hall full of students and describing in great detail what

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happens to your insides when a red hot poker was inserted into your backside, a popular punishment in Medieval times. In my African History class I can remember Dr Etherington asking us questions about why European countries felt justied or even compelled to colonize the majority of the African continent. He posed the questions, but he did not give us the answers. He did not hand out a worksheet with a ll in the blank portion. He did make himself available to talk, listen and point us in a direction of readings that might help us to form our own opinions. I really enjoyed this time in my life. I was not told what to think, I was just encouraged to think. I could even argue a position in opposition to my professors opinion and get a good grade as long as I backed up my position and argued my perspective well. I thrived in this environment. I felt challenged and inspired, I felt I was learning, challenging and revising things I thought I knew and did know. This is who I want to be as an adult learner, if I am allowed to be. ! I believe it was my university experience in my twenties that brought me to the

pre-service teacher program in my forties. While my time in elementary and junior high school did not resonate with me, my time in university did. After looking at the idea of the undivided self I now believe it was because I had professors who taught from this perspective, and who let me learn from a perspective of my undivided self. An undivided self is a state of being that honors all of who we are. When we are undivided

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we are in a state of internal coherence and strength. Those who teach from this state are able to seamlessly incorporate who they are into what they are teaching (Palmer, 1998, p. 4) . These are the teachers that inspire not just teach. I was inspired, and encouraged to learn and discover who I was as an undivided self. ! For me the idea of the sacred in everyday life experiences is part of living and

learning as an undivided self. As Wheatley argues, Sacred is nothing special. Its just life revealing its true nature (Wheatley, 2002, p. 133). The sacred to me means living and learning and connecting to the experiences we have with people or ideas as our undivided selves. I believe that in my elementary and junior high experience I was not experiencing the sacred in myself. I was not given authentic learning experiences. I was not concerned with the internal gratication of learning my phonics in grade two, all I wanted was the star, external gratication. Learning and knowing was not the end point but the gold star was. I did not want to read about the cat in grade seven. I was told to, I did not have a choice. I believe that many children have similar experiences in the younger grades. We are told what to read and what to write and, we do not get many opportunities to think for ourselves. Perhaps this is changing in schools today as teachers and administrators are embracing child centered education and inquiry models of learning that give life to the sparks that ignite each childs imagination and desire to learn.

Personal Reection Part 1!

I know that as an adult learner in university I was able feel the sacredness of

thinking and knowing. I felt like I was part of the experience not just an onlooker and this is what inspired me. As an adult learner I know that I need to learn as an undivided self. I need to be interested and engaged in the subject matter and be doing authentic inquiry and engaging in authentic conversation with others from similar perspectives in order to experience the sacred. ! Situating my self as an adult learner has taught me many things. I will learn as a whole person. I will no longer be divided, I will no longer prize external gratication over the possibility of feeling the sacredness of knowing. As a teacher I will keep myself open to my students. I will give them the opportunity to engage in authentic learning. I want to teach as an undivided self. I want my students to have a teacher that is inwardly integrated and connected to the material we cover. I want my passion to be evident. I want to be vulnerable and open to the experience of teaching. I want to encourage my students to learn as undivided selves. I will provide my students with That moment of experiencing the sacred I think is the moment of knowing, the moment of feeling connected to the idea and the community of learning you are a part of, the aim of any educational experience.

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authentic learning experiences and as much choice of content and inquiry methods as possible to help my them feel the sacredness of learning and being part of a community of learning. ! Situating my self as an adult learner has taught me many things. I will learn as a

whole person. I will no longer be divided, I will no longer prize external gratication over the possibility of feeling the sacredness of knowing. As a teacher I will keep myself open to my students. I will give them the opportunity to engage in authentic learning ! That moment of experiencing the sacred I think is the moment of knowing, the

moment of feeling connected to the idea and the community of learning you are a part of, the aim of any educational experience.

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References

Palmer, Parker. (1998). The Courage to Teach; Exploring the Inner Landscape Of A ! Teachers Life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. Wheatley, Margret. (2002). Turning To One Another: Simple Conversations To Restore ! Hope To The Future. San Francisco: Berret-Koehler.