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COVER: Using literature in Gujarati, sisters witness to a shopkeeper in northwest London
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Strengthen Your Marriage Through Good Communication Parents, ChildrenCommunicate With Love
If a husband and a wife want to have a happy marriage and enjoy their family life, they must learn to communicate well. The rst article talks about qualities that can help us to communicate well. The second article explains how parents and children can solve communication problems.
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This publication is not for sale. It is provided as part of a worldwide Bible educational work supported by voluntary donations. Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the modern-language New World Translation of the Holy ScripturesWith References.
The Watchtower (ISSN 0043-1087) is published semimonthly by Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc.; L. Weaver, Jr., President; G. F. Simonis, Secretary-Treasurer; 25 Columbia Heights, Brooklyn, NY 11201-2483, and by Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Canada, PO Box 4100, Georgetown,
ON L7G 4Y4. Periodicals Postage Paid at Brooklyn, NY, and at additional mailing oces. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Watchtower, 1000 Red Mills Road, Wallkill, NY 12589-3299. 5 2013 Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania. All rights reserved. Printed in Canada.
What is an evangelizer?
AN EVANGELIZER is someone who tells good news. Jehovah God is the rst and greatest Evangelizer. Right after Adam and Eve rebelled, Jehovah announced that Satan the Devil will be destroyed. (Genesis 3:15) Through the centuries, Jehovah explained how he will clear his name, how he will solve the problems that Satan caused, and how humans can again have a chance to live forever. All this good news is in Gods Word, the Bible. 2 The angels are also evangelizers. They tell good news, and they help others to spread good news on earth. (Luke 1:19; 2:10; Acts 8:26, 27, 35; Revelation 14:6) What about the archangel Michael? He too is an evangelizer. While he was on earth as Jesus, his most important work was to preach the good news. His example shows that preaching should also be our most important work.Luke 4:16-21. 3 Jesus commanded his disciples to be evangelizers. (Matthew 28:19, 20; Acts 1:8) The apostle Paul told Timothy: Do the work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry. (2 Timothy 4:5) What good news do we preach? We tell people that our heavenly Father, Jehovah, loves us. (John 3:16; 1 Peter 5:7) Gods Kingdom is proof of his love for mankind. So we tell others that if they become subjects of his Kingdom, obey him, and do what is righteous, they can be his friends. (Psalm 15:1, 2) Jehovah will get rid
1. Why is Jehovah the greatest Evangelizer? 2. (a) In what way are angels evangelizers? (b) How is Jesus
Evangelizer: Someone who tells others about the good news of Gods Kingdom
DNA: A special molecule that is in each cell in our body and that holds all the instructions for how our bodies are made
other disasters that make people suffer. They say that although these disasters kill good people and bad, God is using the disasters to punish people. 5 Others say that God does not exist. Those who believe in evolution say that there is no Creator and that living things were not designed by anyone. Some believe that humans evolved from animals. So for those who believe this, it comes as no surprise that humans are sometimes violent or selsh. They believe it is natural for strong people to be cruel to weak people. So it is not surprising that some say that there will always be injustice. Therefore, those who believe in evolution do not have true hope. 6 The theory of evolution and false religious teachings are part of the reason why mankind is suering during the last days. (Romans 1:28-31; 2 Timothy 3:1-5) These teachings are not good news. Instead, as the apostle Paul said, they have caused people to be in darkness mentally, and alienated from the life that belongs to God. (Ephesians 4:17-19) Also, the theory of evolution and false religious teachings have stopped people from
5, 6. How have the theory of evolution and false religious teachings aected people? SIMPLIFIED EDITION
accepting the good news from God. Read Ephesians 2:11-13. 7 If people are going to have a relationship with God, they rst must be sure that Jehovah exists and that there
him, that is, help him to understand why he needs to believe. (2 Timothy 3: 14) So we need to learn to convince people, as Jesus did. Why was he so good at convincing people? One reason is that he used questions well. How can we imitate him?
GOOD EVANGELIZERS USE QUESTIONS WELL
Why should we use questions in the ministry, as Jesus did? Imagine that your doctor said that you needed to have a serious operation. You might believe him. But what if he said this without even asking you any questions about your health? Then you probably would not believe him. Even a skilled doctor needs to ask questions and listen to the answers
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We should ask good questions so that we can help people to understand and accept the good news
before he can help a person. So if we want to help people to believe the good news of the Kingdom, we must learn to ask them good questions so that we can understand what help they need. 10 Jesus knew that a teacher can use questions not only to get to know
9. If we want to help people to believe the good
Good Questions . . .
help us to reach their heart so that they will be willing to think about and accept the truth
help people to think about why they believe the things they believe
help them to reason on the Scriptures so that what they believe will be based on the Bible
a student but also to help the student to think and to give his opinion. For example, when Jesus wanted to teach his disciples about humility, he rst asked them a question that would make them think. (Mark 9:33) Jesus once asked Peter a question, suggested two possible answers, and then asked Peter to select the right one. This helped Peter to learn an important lesson. (Matthew 17:24-26) Another time, Jesus wanted to nd out what was in the heart of his disciples, so he asked several questions that helped them to say how they real-
ly felt. (Read Matthew 16:13-17.) Jesus did not just tell people what to do. By the way he asked questions, he motivated people to accept the good news and make changes in their lives. 11 When we imitate Jesus way of using questions, we nd out the best way to help each person we meet in the ministry. We also learn how to reason with people when they disagree with us. And we teach people to benet themselves. Now we will talk about three examples of how we can make good use of questions.
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12 Example 1: What would you do if your teenager was afraid to talk to his classmates about creation? How could you help him to be condent about talking to them? Instead of criticizing him or simply telling him what to say, you could ask questions that help him to express his feelings, as Jesus taught us to do. How could you do that? 13 Read with your child some of the information in the brochure The Origin of LifeFive Questions Worth Asking. After looking at the ve questions in the brochure, ask your child which one he thinks is the most interesting. Encourage him to think of other reasons why he believes in a Creator and why he wants to serve God. (Romans 12:2) Explain to your child that his reasons can be dierent from your reasons. 14 Then tell your child that he could talk to his classmate the same way you talked to your child. He could tell his classmate some facts about creation and then ask him what he thinks. For example, he could ask his classmate to read the box on page 21 of the brochure. Your child could then ask, Is it true that DNA can hold more information than any computer in the world? The classmate will probably say yes. Then your child could ask, Since that is true, would it not make sense to believe that just as someone designed a computer, someone designed DNA? To help your child to be more condent when talking with others about his beliefs, you
can practice with him. If you train your child to make good use of questions, you will help him to be a good evangelizer. 15 Example 2: In our witnessing work, we might meet a person who
Help your child to be more condent when talking to others about his beliefs
is not sure if there is a God or who does not believe in God at all. We can still try to reason with him. We could kindly ask how long he has felt that way or why he decided not to believe in God. After we listen to what he says, we could acknowledge that he must have thought carefully about his beliefs. We could then ask if he would be willing to read a brochure that gives evidence that life was created. If he is willing, we could oer him either the brochure Was Life Created? or the brochure The Origin of LifeFive Questions Worth Asking. When we are tactful and ask questions kindly, we may be able to reach a persons heart with the good news. 16 Example 3: When we conduct a Bible study, what might happen if we simply let our student repeat the answers printed in a book or a brochure?
15. How could we use questions to reason with
12-14. How can you help your child to be more condent about preaching? Give an example. MAY 15, 2013
He might not make good progress in the truth. Why? Because a student who repeats answers without thinking about them can be like a plant that does not have deep roots. It can be dicult for him to stay in the truth when people oppose him. (Matthew 13:20, 21) To help our student, we need to ask him how he feels about what he is learning. Try to nd out if he agrees with what he is learning and why he feels that way. Then help him to reason on the Scriptures so that what he believes will be based on the Bible. (Hebrews 5:14) If we make good use of questions, our students will likely be strong in the truth and be able to stay faithful when others oppose them or try to mislead them. (Colossians 2:6-8) What else can we do to be good evangelizers?
GOOD EVANGELIZERS ASSIST ONE ANOTHER
your help to reason with the householder. (Ecclesiastes 4:12) But be careful not to interrupt if the publisher is already giving a good witness or if the householder is speaking. If you interrupt the conversation, you could discourage the publisher or confuse the householder. It is not wrong to make a comment or two, but after that you should let the publisher continue with what he was saying.
If you interrupt another publisher when he is preaching, you could discourage him or confuse the householder
While you and the publisher are walking from house to house, how can you help each other to be good evangelizers? Use the time to discuss how to improve your presentations. Be careful not to make discouraging comments about the people in your territory. And do not complain about the brothers and sisters. (Proverbs 18: 24) We should remember that none of us are perfect. Jehovah has very kindly given us the treasure of the ministry of the good news and instructed us to preach. (Read 2 Corinthians 4:1, 7.) So let all of us show appreciation for the good news by doing our best to be good evangelizers.
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Jesus sent his disciples out in the preaching work in groups of two. (Mark 6:7; Luke 10:1) Later, the apostle Paul talked about his fellow workers who had worked side by side with him in preaching the good news. (Philippians 4:3) In 1953, the organization started a special program in which publishers would train others in the ministry. 18 When you go to a door with another publisher, what can you do to help him while he is preaching to the householder? (Read 1 Corinthians 3: 6-9.) Look up the scriptures in your own Bible. Pay attention as the publisher is speaking in case he needs
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17, 18. When you are at a door and another publisher is speaking, how can you help him?
How does Daniel 2:41-45 show why we need to be zealous in the ministry?
PEOPLE feel honored when they are given an award for doing something special. For example, some are given honor when they help two nations to have peace with each other. But it is a much greater honor to be sent by God to help people to be at peace with him! 2 As Jehovahs Witnesses, we are the only people who have that special honor. God and Christ direct our work to help people to become reconciled to God, that is, to become his friends. (2 Corinthians 5:20) So Jehovah uses us to draw people to him. As a result, millions in more than 235 lands have become Gods friends and have the hope of everlasting life. (Titus 2:11) We show zeal in our preaching work and invite anyone that wishes to learn the truth. (Revelation 22: 17) We are zealous for ne works, that is, we love what we do for Jehovah and do the best we can to please him. (Titus 2:14) We will now learn how our zeal can help others to come to know Jehovah. One way is by our preaching work.
IMITATE THE ZEAL OF JEHOVAH AND JESUS
Explain how good conduct attracts people to true worship and to Jehovah God.
Isaiah 9:7 tells us that Gods Son would be King and that he would do good things for mankind. All of this happens because of the zeal of Jehovah of armies. Zeal is a burning desire to do something. So the words of that verse give us condence that Jehovah truly wants mankind to be saved. We should be enthusiastic and zealous for the preaching work because Jehovah God is
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1, 2. What special honor do Jehovahs Witnesses have? How do you feel about that? 3. Why does the zeal of Jehovah give us condence?
Zealous for ne works: To love what you do for Jehovah and to do the best you can to please him
To make sacrices: To do the work Jehovah gives you even when it is hard or when you have to give up some things you like in order to do it
Are you doing all you can to preach the good news?
zealous. As one of Gods fellow workers, are you doing all you can to preach the good news?1 Corinthians 3:9. 4 Jesus set a perfect example of staying zealous in the ministry. Even though many opposed him and wanted to kill him, he was zealous until the end of his life on earth. (John 18:36, 37) Because he knew that he would soon suer and die, he worked even harder to help people come to know Jehovah. 5 In the year 32, Jesus gave an illustration about a man who had a g tree that did not produce gs. After three years, the man told his worker to cut it down, but the worker asked for more time to try to make the tree produce fruit. (Read Luke 13:6-9.) When Jesus said this, only a small number of people had become his disciples. But Jesus illustration showed that he
4. How did Jesus set a perfect example of stay-
wanted to work harder in the short time before he died. So he preached with more zeal in Judea and Perea for about six months. A few days before he died, Jesus wept because most did not accept his message.Matthew 13: 15; Luke 19:41. 6 We need to try to do more in the ministry because we are very close to the end. (Read Daniel 2:41-45.) It is a great honor to be Jehovahs Witnesses! We are the only people on earth who can tell others how mankinds problems will be solved. A newspaper writer recently said that it is impossible to know why bad things happen to good people. But the Bible tells us why, and it is our responsibility and privilege as Christians to tell others. We should be aglow with the spirit as we do Jehovahs work. (Romans 12: 11) Jehovah will bless our work, and we can help people come to know and love him.
OUR SACRIFICES HONOR JEHOVAH
Paul endured many problems as he preached, such as sleepless nights and times without food. (2 Corinthians 6:5) Our brothers and
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ministry?
7, 8. How do our sacrices honor Jehovah? SIMPLIFIED EDITION
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sisters make similar sacrices for the ministry. The pioneers view the ministry as their most important work, but many of them also have to have a job. Think, too, of the missionaries who work hard to help people in foreign lands. (Philippians 2:17) The elders sometimes have to miss meals or lose sleep to take care of the members of the congregation. Older ones and sick ones in the congregation do their best to attend the meetings and to go in eld service. It is encouraging to see how these servants of God are willing to make sacrices for their ministry. But even people outside the congregation notice how important our ministry is to us. 8 In a letter to a newspaper in the United Kingdom, a non-Witness reader said: People are losing their faith in religions. I dont know what the church leaders are doing. They
9 What should we do if we do not have the zeal we used to have for the ministry? We should think of all the good that results from the work Jehovah gives us to do. (Read Romans 10:13-15.) In order for people to be saved, they must have faith in Jehovah and call upon his name. But they cannot do that unless we preach to them. Knowing this should make us want to be zealous for ne works and do the most we can in preaching the good news of the Kingdom.
Our zeal for the ministry is not enough to make people want to know God. The second thing that helps them is our good Christian conduct. Paul explained why our conduct is important by saying: In no way are we giving any cause for stumbling, that our ministry might not be found fault with. (2 Corinthians 6:3) Our clean speech and good conduct may make other people want to worship Jehovah. (Titus 2:10) In fact, we often hear that people respond to the truth when they see how we imitate Christ. 11 Just as our good conduct can make people want to learn the truth, bad conduct can make people not want to know Jehovah at all. So whether we are at work, at home, or in school, we should make sure
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9. What can help us to be zealous for ne works in our ministry? 10. How does our good conduct make people want to know God? 11. Why should we think and pray about the way our conduct aects others?
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When people see you in the ministry, you are giving them a good witness
that we do nothing that would turn someone away from Jehovah. If we were to practice sin willfully, we would lose our relationship with Jehovah forever. (Hebrews 10:26, 27) This should make us think carefully and pray about our conduct and how it aects others. As the worlds conduct keeps getting worse, it should be easier for people to see the dierence between one serving God and one who has not served him. (Malachi 3:18) Yes, our good Christian conduct is an important way to help people want to become friends of God. 12 In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul explained that he had been persecuted, beaten, and put in
12-14. How does the way we endure opposition aect how others view the truth? Give an example.
prison because people opposed his ministry. (Read 2 Corinthians 6: 4, 5.) When we endure opposition, others may be moved to accept the truth. Several years ago, some in Angola wanted to get rid of all of Jehovahs Witnesses in their area. They whipped 2 baptized Witnesses and 30 interested ones until their esh was cut and bleeding. They even whipped the women and children. They wanted others to be afraid to listen to Jehovahs Witnesses, so they forced the local people to watch. But later many of these people asked the Witnesses for home Bible studies! As a result, the preaching work continued, more people came into the truth, and the brothers were blessed. 13 This example shows that when people see that we are courageous
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during a test, they might decide to accept the truth. The courage of Peter and the other apostles may have encouraged others to become Gods friends. (Acts 5:17-29) Our schoolmates, workmates, or family members may accept the truth because they see that we have courage when we experience opposition.
Our good Christian conduct is an important way to help people want to become friends of God
There are always some of our brothers who are being persecuted. Right now, for example, about 40 brothers in Armenia are in prison because of their neutrality. And many more in that country will likely be put there in the near future. In Eritrea, 55 Witnesses are in prison, and some of them are over 60 years old. In South Korea, about 700 Witnesses are in prison because of their neutrality. For 60 years our brothers there have been sent to prison. We should keep praying that the faithfulness of these brothers who are persecuted will honor God and help others to accept the truth.Psalm 76:8-10. 15 The fact that we are honest may also make people want to learn the
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truth. (Read 2 Corinthians 6:4, 7.) For example, a sister was putting money into a ticket machine on a bus when a friend told her that she should not pay for a ticket because the ride was so short. The sister explained that the right thing to do was to pay for the ticket, even for just one stop. After that, her friend got o the bus. Then the bus driver asked the sister, Are you one of Jehovahs Witnesses? She said Yes. What made you ask? I heard your conversation about paying for the bus ticket, and I know that Jehovahs Witnesses are among the very few people who pay for tickets and are honest in all things. A few months later, a man approached the sister at a meeting and said, Do you know me? Im the bus driver who talked to you about paying for the ticket. After I saw how honest you were, I decided to begin studying the Bible with Jehovahs Witnesses. When people see that we are honest, they trust the good news that we preach.
MAKE SURE THAT YOUR ATTITUDE AND CONDUCT HONOR GOD
When we are long-suering, loving, and kind, we may make other people want to learn about Jehovah, his purposes, and his people. The attitude and conduct of true Christians honor God. Some religious leaders pretend to have a good attitude and good conduct. But they lie to their
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15. Give an experience that shows how our honesty can make others want to know the truth. MAY 15, 2013
16. What can happen when we are longsuering, loving, and kind? Give an example of what false religious leaders do.
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see that we treat our neighbors kindly. For example, one pioneer spoke to an elderly widow at a door, but she quickly told him that she was
Others notice when you are honest and when you work hard
followers and take money from them. Some have even used that money to buy expensive homes and cars for themselves. One even built a doghouse that had air conditioning! They do not follow Christs command to give free. (Matthew 10:8) Instead, they are like the bad Israelite priests. They teach just for a price and teach wrong ideas about God. (Micah 3:11) When they act like that, they do not help anyone to become Gods friend. 17 But people want to become Gods friends when they recognize that we are teaching the truth and
17, 18. (a) How can we honor Jehovah with our conduct? (b) Why do you want to stay zealous for ne works?
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Why do a husband and a wife need to show respect for each other?
A BROTHER in Canada said, I would rather spend time with my wife than with anyone else. This brother added that being with his wife makes the happy moments in life happier and the dicult moments easier to endure. A husband in Australia wrote, In our 11 years together, not one day has passed when I have not spoken with my wife. He said that good communication has helped them to trust each other completely and to have a strong marriage. A sister in Costa Rica wrote that good communication has helped her and her husband to have a happy marriage. She said, It has drawn us closer to Jehovah, protected us from temptations, united us as a couple, and made our love grow. 2 Is there good communication in your marriage? Of course, there will be communication problems sometimes. You are both imperfect, and you have dierent personalities. (Romans 3:23) You may come from dierent cultures or you may not have been raised in the same way. So you may have dierent ways of communicating. For these reasons, marriage researchers John M. Gottman and Nan Silver wrote that couples must be willing to work very hard if they want to communicate well and make their marriage last.
1. How has good communication helped marriages? 2. Why can it be hard for couples to communicate well?
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Good communication: There is good communication in a marriage when a husband and a wife speak to each other honestly but kindly about their thoughts and feelings
To show insight: To treat someone in a way that shows that you truly understand how he or she thinks or feels
A strong marriage takes hard work, but it will make a husband and a wife very happy. (Ecclesiastes 9:9) Think of the loving marriage of Isaac and Rebekah. (Genesis 24:67) The Bible shows that they kept their love for each other strong even after they had been married for a long time. Many couples today have also been able to keep their marriage strong. What has helped them? They have learned to talk about their thoughts and feelings in an honest but kind way. They show the qualities of insight, love, respect, and humility. We will now see how these qualities can help a couple to communicate well.
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from each other so that they can complete each other. That is why women communicate in a dierent way than men. Most women like to talk about
A couple who show insight try to understand each others thoughts and feelings
their feelings, people, and relationships. Loving and honest communication helps women feel loved. Many men, though, may not like to talk about their feelings but may prefer to talk about activities, problems, and solutions. Men also like to feel respected. 5 A sister in Britain said, My husband wants to solve problems quickly rather than hear me out. She explained that this can be frustrating because all she really wants is for him to listen to her and try to understand her feelings. A husband wrote, When my wife and I were rst married, my tendency was to nd a quick solution to whatever problem she had. But he soon learned that all she
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SHOW INSIGHT
Proverbs 16:20 says: He that is showing insight in a matter will nd good. Gods Word gives us the insight and wisdom we need to have a happy marriage. (Read Proverbs 24:3.) For example, Genesis 2:18 tells us that God made the woman as a complement to the man. This means that a man and a woman are dierent
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riage strong?
4, 5. How can insight help a married couple to
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really wanted was for him to listen to her. (Proverbs 18:13; James 1:19) A husband who shows insight knows his wifes feelings and treats her in a way that will make her feel loved. He makes it clear to her that her thoughts and feelings are important to him. (1 Peter 3:7) Also, a wife who shows insight tries to understand the way her husband thinks. When both husband and wife do what God expects of them, they can have a happy marriage and can work together to make wise decisions. 6 A couple should also know that there is a time to keep quiet and a time to speak. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) A sister who has been married for ten years wrote that she has learned when to talk to her husband about certain things. If he is overwhelmed with work or other responsibilities, she waits for a better time to talk to him.
6, 7. (a) How can Ecclesiastes 3:7 help a couple show insight? (b) How can a wife show insight when she talks to her husband? What effort should a husband make? MAY 15, 2013
As a result, their communication is much better. When a wife speaks in a kind way and at the right time, her husband will likely be happy to listen to her.Read Proverbs 25:11. 7 A Christian husband not only listens to what his wife says but also makes an eort to tell his wife about his own feelings. An elder who has been married for 27 years said: I have to work at telling my wife what is deep in my heart. A brother who has been married for 24 years said that he usually does not like to talk about problems. He feels that if he does not talk about them, they will go away. But he added: I have come to realize that it is not a sign of weakness to show my feelings. When I struggle to express myself, I pray for the right words to say and the right way to say them. Then I take a deep breath and start talking. It is important for a couple to choose the right time to talk, perhaps when they are alone discussing the daily text or reading the Bible together.
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It can be hard for a couple to change the way they communicate. Both husband and wife need to pray for Gods spirit and have a strong desire to improve their communication. They will have that desire if they love Jehovah, want to please him, and view their marriage as something sacred. A sister who has been married for 26 years wrote: My husband and I take Jehovahs view of marriage seriously, so we do not even consider separation. This makes us work harder to resolve problems by discussing them together. A couple who are loyal to God in this way will make him happy and have his blessing.Psalm 127:1.
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the day just to see how things are going. 10 When a husband and a wife love each other, they try to keep learning about each other. (Philippians 2:4) The more they learn, the stronger
Love is the most important quality in a marriage. The Bible says that love is a perfect bond of union. (Colossians 3:14) True love grows as time passes and as a husband and a wife go through good times and bad times together. They become even closer friends and enjoy being together. They make their marriage stronger, not by doing a few great things for each other, as we see in movies or on television, but by doing many small things for each other. These things could be a hug, a kind comment, a thoughtful act, a warm smile, or a sincere how was your day? These little things can make a big dierence in a marriage. One couple who have been happily married for 19 years say that they phone or text each other during
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Even the happiest marriages are not perfect marriages. A couple may sometimes disagree. Abraham and Sarah did not always agree with each other. (Genesis 21:9-11) But this did not make their marriage weak. Why not? They treated each other with respect. For example, Abraham said please to Sarah. (Genesis 12:11, 13) And Sarah obeyed Abraham and thought of him as her lord. (Genesis 18:12) In contrast, a couple who speak harshly to each other show that they do not respect each other. (Proverbs 12:18) And if there is no respect, their marriage is in danger. Read James 3:7-10, 17, 18.
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grow?
11. Why is respect so important in a marriage? Give a Bible example. SIMPLIFIED EDITION
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When a couple rst get married, they should work especially hard to speak kindly and respectfully to each other. This will make it much easier for them to communicate honestly. One husband explained that during the rst years of their marriage, he and his wife did not understand each others feelings, habits, and needs. This was sometimes frustrating for them. But they were able to have a good relationship by being reasonable and having a good sense of humor. He says that it was also important to show humility, to have patience, and to trust in Jehovah. This is good advice for all of us!
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should they work especially hard to speak respectfully to each other? 13. Why is humility so important for a happy marriage?
are both humble in mind. (1 Peter 3:8) One brother who has been married for 11 years said that humility helps a couple solve problems because it moves them to say Im sorry. An elder who has been happily married for 20 years said, Sometimes the words Im sorry are more important than I love you. He explained how prayer helps him and his wife to show humility. He said, When my wife and I approach Jehovah together, we are reminded of our imperfection and Gods undeserved kindness. This helps them to have the right view of themselves and of the problem. 14 Pride, on the contrary, makes it very hard for a husband and a wife to communicate and solve problems. A proud person does not have the desire or the courage to say, Im sorry, please forgive me. He makes excuses for what he did, or he blames the other person instead of admitting
14. What can pride do to a marriage?
his mistake. When a proud person is oended, he does not try to make peace. He speaks harshly or refuses to talk at all. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Yes, pride can destroy a marriage. It is good to remember that God opposes the haughty ones, but he gives undeserved kindness to the humble ones.James 4:6.
Humility can help a couple to value each others good qualities and abilities. For example, a wife may have a special ability that she uses to benet the family. A humble husband would not feel that he has to be better than his wife at everything but would encourage her to continue using her ability. By doing so, he shows that he loves and values her. (Proverbs 31:10, 28; Ephesians 5:28, 29) Also, a humble wife would not brag about herself or make fun of her husband for not having the same ability. Because the two of them are one esh, showing pride in these ways hurts both of them.Matthew 19:4, 5. 17 You certainly want to have a marriage like that of Abraham and Sarah or Isaac and Rebecca. You want your marriage to be happy, to be lasting, and to honor Jehovah. So view marriage the same way God does. Look for insight in his Word. Value each others good qualities so that your love for each other will grow. (Song of Solomon 8:6) Work hard to show humility. Treat each other with respect. If you do these things, your marriage will bring joy both to you and to your heavenly Father. (Proverbs 27:11) One brother who has been married for 27 years said: I cannot imagine life without my wife. Our marriage continues to grow stronger every day. This is because of our love for Jehovah and our regular communication with each other. Your marriage can be just as strong as theirs is!
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to honor God?
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It is hard for many families to have enough time for good communication. But in the time of the Israelites, things were dierent. When Moses told Israelite fathers to teach Gods laws to their children, he said: You must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:6, 7) Children spent the day either with their mother at home or with their father at
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1, 2. How do parents and children generally feel about one another? But what can be dicult for them to do sometimes? 3. (a) Why is it hard for many families to communicate well? (b) Why was it easier for Israelite families to communicate?
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work. There was plenty of time for children and parents to be together and talk. As a result, it was easy for parents to know the needs, desires, and personality of their children. And the children too were able to get to know their parents well. 4 Life today is very different. In some countries, children begin preschool when they are very young, sometimes when they are only two years old. Many fathers and mothers work at jobs away from home. And when parents and children are together, they spend their time watching television or using their computers or phones. In many families, parents and children do not really know one another. There is almost no communication at all. 5 Can you think of ways to spend more time with your family? (Read Ephesians 5:15, 16.) Some families agree to spend less time watching television or using the computer. Others decide to eat at least one meal together each day. Family worship is
4. What makes it dicult for families today to
a wonderful opportunity for parents and children to get to know one another better as they study the Bible together. But this is not the only time families should spend time together. They should nd time to talk every day. Before your children go to school, say something encouraging, discuss the daily text, or say a prayer together.
Can you think of ways to spend more time with your family?
This can help them a lot during the day. 6 Some parents have been able to make changes in their life so that they can spend more time with their children. For example, Laura, a mother of two young children, left a full-time job for this reason.1 (See footnote.) She says: In the morning all of us were rushing out the door to get to work or school. When I returned home in the evening, my children were already asleep, having been put to bed by a nanny. Ever since Laura
1 Name has been changed. SIMPLIFIED EDITION
communicate? 5, 6. What changes have some parents made to be able to spend more time with their children?
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Can you spend more time with your family instead of doing other things?
left her job, the family has less money, but she feels that she now really knows what her childrens thoughts and problems are. She adds: I listen to what they say in prayer and can guide them, encourage them, and teach them.
BE SWIFT ABOUT HEARING
After interviewing many young people, the writers of the book For Parents Only say: The kids number one most common complaint about their parents was, They dont listen. Parents often say the same thing about their children. So if the members of a family want to communicate well, they must listen very carefully to one another.Read James 1:19.
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Parents, do you really listen to your children? This may be dicult when you are tired or when they want to talk about something that does not seem important to you. But remember, what does not seem important to you may be very important to your child. To be swift about hearing means to pay attention not only to what your child says but also to how he says it. Your childs tone of voice, gestures, and the expressions on his face can tell you a lot about how he feels. It is also important to ask questions. The Bible says: A persons thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out. (Proverbs 20:5, Todays English Version ) You need to
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7. What is a common complaint that both parents and children have? MAY 15, 2013
dren?
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show insight when you speak to your children, that is, you need to nd out how they really feel. This is especially important when you are discussing something that they are not comfortable talking about.
Children, remember that your parents love you and want what is best for you
Children, do you obey your parents? Gods Word says: Listen, my son, to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother. (Proverbs 1:8) Remember, your parents love you and want what is best for you, so it is wise to listen to them and obey them. (Ephesians 6:1) If there is good communication between you and your parents and if you remember that they love you, it will be easier for you to obey them. So tell your parents how you feel about things. This will help them to understand you. Of course, you should also try to understand them. 10 Do you ever follow the advice of young people your own age? Be careful. Their advice may sound good to you, but it may not help you at all. In fact, it could hurt you. Young people do not have the wisdom and experience of older ones. Most young people do not think of how decisions they
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make now could harm them in the future. Remember the example of Rehoboam, King Solomons son. When he became king of Israel, he should have followed the advice of the older men. Instead, he followed the foolish advice of the younger men he had grown up with. As a result, most people in his kingdom rebelled against him. (1 Kings 12:1-17) Do not be like Rehoboam. Talk to your parents about your thoughts and feelings. Follow their advice, and learn from their wisdom.Proverbs 13:20. 11 Parents, do you want your children to come to you for advice instead of going to young people their own age? If so, make it easy for them to talk to you. One teenage sister wrote that her parents get nervous every time she talks about a boy. This makes her uncomfortable, and she stops talking. Another young sister wrote: Many teenagers want their parents advice, but if their parents dont take them seriously, the kids will go to someone else who will, even to those who are less experienced. Be willing to listen to your children and to understand how they feel, no matter what they want to talk about. If you do this, they will feel comfortable talking to you and will be willing to follow your advice.
BE SLOW ABOUT SPEAKING
The way parents react may make it hard for their children to talk to them. Parents may immediate12
9. Why should children obey their parents? 10. What do we learn from Rehoboams exam-
ple?
11. What could happen if parents are not easy to talk to? 12. How might parents reactions make communication with their children dicult? SIMPLIFIED EDITION
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ly show that they are upset by what their child says. Of course, there are many dangers in these last days, and Christian parents want to protect their children. (2 Timothy 3:1-5) But children may not always see things
If you stay calm and listen, you will learn how your children really feel
the same way and may feel that their parents do not give them any freedom. 13 Parents should be careful not to give their opinion too quickly. It is true that when your children get upset and say things that worry you, it is hard to keep quiet. But it is important to listen carefully before saying anything. Wise King Solomon wrote: When anyone is replying to a matter before he hears it, that is foolishness on his part and a humiliation. (Proverbs 18:13) If you stay calm and listen, you may be able to understand the reason for your childs wild talk. (Job 6:1-3) You can help your child only if you understand the whole situation. As loving parents, listen to your children and try to understand them so that you can say something that really helps them. 14 Children, you too need to be
13. Why should parents be careful about giving their opinion too quickly? 14. Why should children be slow about speaking? MAY 15, 2013
slow about speaking. Remember that God has given your parents the responsibility to train you, so do not quickly disagree with what they say. (Proverbs 22:6) They may have been in the same situation that you are in now. Also, they do not want you to make the same mistakes they made when they were young. Your parents are your friends, not your enemies. They want to help you, not hurt you. (Read Proverbs 1:5.) Honor your father and your mother, and show them that you love them as they love you. That will make it easier for them to train you the way Jehovah wants them to.Ephesians 6:2, 4.
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We are not always patient with those we love. The apostle Paul wrote to Christians in Colossae: You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them. You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted. (Colossians 1: 1, 2; 3:19, 21) Paul told the Ephesians: Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you. (Ephesians 4:31) If we try to show more of the fruitage of Gods spirit such as long-suering, mildness, and self-control, it will be easier to stay calm even in stressful situations.Galatians 5:22, 23. 16 Parents, think of the example of Jesus. Imagine how much stress he was feeling at the last evening meal he had with his apostles. Jesus knew that very soon he would die a slow and painful death. He knew that he had to be faithful so that his Fathers name could be sanctied and all humans could be saved. But at that same meal, the apostles started to argue about who was the greatest among them. Jesus did not scream at them or speak harshly to them. Instead, he corrected them calmly. Jesus reminded them that they had supported him during hard times. And he showed condence that they would stay faithful even though Satan was going to test them. He even promised that they
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would be kings with him in heaven. Luke 22:24-32. 17 Children too need to stay calm. If you are a teenager, you may not like it when your parents give you direction. You may think that it means they do not trust you. But remember that your parents worry about you because they love you. If you listen to them calmly and accept their direction, they will respect you and trust you. Your parents may then give you more freedom to do certain things. The Bible shows that a person who stays calm is wise. It says: All his spirit is what a stupid one lets out, but he that is wise keeps it calm to the last.Proverbs 29:11. 18 So dear parents and children, do not be discouraged if the communication in your family is not as good as you would like it to be. Keep working at it, and keep following the counsel in Gods Word. (3 John 4) In the new world, we will be perfect, and there will be no communication problems. But before then, we will make mistakes. So be quick to say Im sorry. Forgive freely. Be harmoniously joined together in love. (Colossians 2:2) Love has power. It helps us to be patient and kind. Love helps us to stay calm and to forgive. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) If you keep showing love, communication in your family will get better and better. This will make you happy and will honor Jehovah.
17. What will help children to stay calm? 18. How does love help families to communicate well? SIMPLIFIED EDITION
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What can we learn from the way Esau viewed his inheritance?
MILLIONS have made the wise choice to serve Jehovah God and imitate the example of Jesus Christ. (Matthew 16:24; 1 Peter 2:21) Our dedication to God is a serious decision. We did not make this decision after learning only the basic truths from a few scriptures. Instead, we studied the Bible carefully and strengthened our faith in the inheritance Jehovah has promised. He will give this inheritance to all who keep learning about him and about Jesus Christ.John 17:3; Romans 12:2. 2 If we want to keep our good relationship with Jehovah, we must keep making wise choices that please him. This article answers these important questions: What is our inheritance? How important should it be to us? How can we make sure that we receive our inheritance? What will help us to make wise choices?
WHAT IS OUR INHERITANCE?
A small number of Christians hope to receive immortal life in heaven as their inheritance. They will have the very special privilege of ruling with Christ in his Kingdom. (1 Peter 1:3, 4) The ones who will receive that inheritance have been born again. (John 3:1-3) What about the millions of
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1, 2. (a) What helped you to make your decision to serve God? (b) What questions about our inheritance from Jehovah will this article answer? 3. (a) What inheritance will the anointed receive? (b) What inheritance will the other sheep receive?
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Our inheritance: Everlasting life, either in heaven or on earth, and all the other blessings that Jehovah gives us now
Birthright: The right of a rstborn son to receive a special blessing from his father and to have a larger inheritance than that of his brothers
us very happy. And it is an honor to be able to witness about Jehovah. We have good reasons to be grateful for our inheritance! 5 To make sure that we do not lose our inheritance, we must be careful to avoid Satans traps. Satan has always tried to tempt Gods people to make bad choices so that they lose their inheritance. (Numbers 25:1-3, 9) Satan knows that he will soon be destroyed, so he is trying very hard to tempt us to do wrong. (Read Revelation 12:12, 17.) If we want to stand rm against the machinations of the Devil, we must always appreciate our inheritance. (Ephesians 6:11) We can learn important lessons from the way Isaacs rstborn son, Esau, viewed his inheritance.
DO NOT BE LIKE ESAU
About 4,000 years ago, Rebekah gave birth to twins, Esau and Jacob. These twins grew to be very dierent. Esau became a man knowing how to hunt, a man of the eld, but Jacob was a blameless man, dwelling in tents. (Genesis 25:27) Jacob was
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supposed to receive?
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called blameless because he had integrity and did not practice sin. 7 When Esau and Jacob were 15 years old, their grandfather Abraham died. But Jehovah remembered the promise he had made to Abraham. Later, Jehovah repeated to Isaac what he had promised. God said that all the nations of the earth would bless themselves by means of Abrahams seed, or descendants. (Read Genesis 26: 3-5.) In this way, God revealed that one of Abrahams descendants would be the faithful seed of Genesis 3:15, that is, the Messiah. Because Esau was Isaacs rstborn son, he had the right to share in the promise that God made to Abraham. So the Messiah should have been one of Esaus descendants. This was a wonderful inheritance for Esau. But did he appreciate it? 8 One day when Esau came in from the eld, he saw Jacob boiling up some stew. Esau asked for some, saying: Quick, please, give me a swallow of the redthe red there, for I am tired! Jacob said: Sell me, rst of all, your right as rstborn! What choice did Esau make? He said that the birthright was of no benet to him and chose a bowl of stew over his right as rstborn! Jacob wanted to make sure that Esau really was selling the birthright, so he asked him to make an oath. Jacob said: Swear to me rst of all! Without even taking time to think, Esau sold his birthright. After that, Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he went to eating and drink8, 9. (a) What choice did Esau make about his inheritance? (b) Years later, what did Esau realize about his choice? How did he react? MAY 15, 2013
ing. Then he got up and went his way. Esau showed that he thought that his birthright was worthless and not important.Genesis 25:29-34. 9 Years later, when Isaac thought that he would soon die, Rebekah made sure that Jacob would receive the birthright that Esau had sold to him. When Esau realized that he had made a foolish choice by selling his birthright, he begged Isaac: Bless me, even me too, my father! . . . Have you not reserved a blessing for me? When Isaac told Esau that he could not change the blessing he had
Esau realized that he had made a foolish choice by selling his birthright
already given to Jacob, Esau cried bitterly.Genesis 27:30-38. 1 0 What can we learn about Esaus attitude from this account? He showed that his eshly desires were more important to him than receiving the blessings that Jehovah had promised as part of his inheritance. Esau did not appreciate his birthright and did not really love God. And Esau did not think about how his choice would aect his descendants. But Jacob was dierent. He truly appreciated his inheritance and made good choices to protect it. For example, although it was not easy for him, Jacob
10. What did Jehovah think about Esau and Ja-
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who in exchange for one meal gave away his rights as rstborn. (Hebrews 12:16) We need to learn from that warning. We must always appreciate sacred things so that we will resist temptation and protect our inheritance. When he described what Esau did, why did Paul also talk about fornication? Because if we act like Esau and let our eshly desires control us, it will be easy for us to commit a sin such as fornication, and as a result we could lose our inheritance.
PREPARE YOUR HEART NOW
was willing to follow the counsel his parents gave about choosing a wife. (Genesis 27:4628:3) Jehovah blessed his obedience by having the Messiah be one of Jacobs descendants. What did God think about Esau and Jacob? Jehovah said: I loved Jacob, and Esau I have hated.Malachi 1:2, 3. 11 We can benet from the account about Esau. The apostle Paul warned Christians to be careful that there may be no fornicator nor anyone not appreciating sacred things, like Esau,
11. (a) Why can we as Christians benet from the account about Esau? (b) When he described what Esau did, why did Paul also talk about fornication?
As servants of Jehovah, we do everything we can to avoid situations that could tempt us to do something immoral. And if someone does tempt us, we pray that Jehovah God will help us resist the temptation. (Matthew 6: 13) We work hard to keep our integrity in this wicked world, but Satan constantly tries to weaken our relationship with Jehovah. (Ephesians 6: 12) Satan is the god of this wicked system of things, and he knows how to use temptations to make people give in to their bad desires. (1 Corinthians 10:8, 13) He is trying to do this to each of us. What if you were in a situation where you were tempted to satisfy your desires in a wrong way? What choice would you make? Would you be like Esau, who quickly gave in to the temptation? Or would you resist the temptation and ee from it, as did Jacobs son Joseph when he was tempted by Potiphars wife? Read Genesis 39:10-12.
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12. (a) How does Satan try to tempt each of us? (b) What Scriptural examples can help us when we are tempted to do wrong? SIMPLIFIED EDITION
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Many of our brothers and sisters have faced temptations and have had to choose whether to be like Esau or to be like Joseph. Many acted wisely and made Jehovahs heart rejoice. (Proverbs 27:11) But others have chosen to act like Esau and have failed to protect their inheritance. Many of those who are reproved or disfellowshipped each year are being disciplined because they have committed sexual immorality. It is very important that we prepare our heart now so that we will be strong enough to resist any temptation in the future! (Psalm 78:8) We will discuss two of the things we can do to prepare ourselves to resist temptation and to make wise choices later.
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a few moments of immoral pleasure worth the price I will pay afterward? Do I really want to be like Esau, who cried bitterly when he realized the consequences of his sin? (Hebrews 12:17) If we think carefully about these questions, we will hate what is bad and love what is good. (Romans 12:9) When we truly love Jehovah, we will work hard to protect our inheritance.Psalm 73:28. 15 The second step is to prepare ourselves to resist temptation. Jehovah has given us many ways to prepare ourselves to resist temptation from
If we want to be prepared to resist temptation, we have to make an eort to keep ourselves strong
the world and protect our relationship with him. For example, he has shown us how to benet from Bible study, meetings, the eld ministry, and prayer. (1 Corinthians 15:58) Each time we tell Jehovah our true feelings in prayer and every time we work hard in the ministry, we are preparing ourselves to resist temptation. (Read 1 Timothy 6:12, 19.) If we want to succeed, we have to keep making the effort to do these things. (Galatians 6:7) This is discussed in the second chapter of Proverbs.
15. What will help us to be ready to resist any
13. (a) Today, how have many acted like Joseph, but how have some acted like Esau? (b) What must we do so that we do not act like Esau? 14. What questions will help us to hate what is bad and love what is good? MAY 15, 2013
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Proverbs chapter 2 encourages us to work hard to have wisdom and thinking ability. These qualities that Jehovah gives us will help us to choose between right and wrong and will help us to control our desires rather than satisfying them in a wrong way. But we can do this only if we are willing to make the eort. The Bible explains: My son, if you will receive my sayings and treasure up my own commandments with yourself, so as to pay attention to wisdom with your ear, that you may incline your heart
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to discernment; if, moreover, you call out for understanding itself and you give forth your voice for discernment itself, if you keep seeking for it as for silver, and as for hid treasures you keep searching for it, in that case you will understand the fear of Jehovah, and you will nd the very knowledge of God. For Jehovah himself gives wisdom; out of his mouth there are knowledge and discernment.Proverbs 2:1-6. 17 If we do what is described in those verses, we will be able to make wise choices. We can resist temptation only if we allow Jehovahs sayings to change who we are inside, if we continue to pray for Gods direction, and if we keep searching for Gods knowledge as if we were looking for hidden treasure. 18 Jehovah gives knowledge, understanding, discernment, and wisdom to those who make an eort to nd them. The more we look for them and use them, the better our relationship with Jehovah God will be. Then our close relationship with him will protect us when we face temptation. If we stay close to Jehovah and fear him, we will work hard to avoid sin. (Psalm 25:14; James 4:8) Our friendship with Jehovah and the wisdom he gives us will help us to make wise choices that make him happy and protect our inheritance.
18. What will you keep doing, and why?
choices?
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