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Michael Bolerjack Majesties, Cy Pres Doctrine Volume 3 Peter the Roman Chapters 19-42

Treatise on the Love of Goddesses

19 As I was, Half in love with teaseful death, Lamenting with Lamia, Almost, not quite, afraid to find a name For where Id gone and what become, In that She, Beauty, May have no mercy, As a side, not of woman, But of a thing so hyper-feminine, Hyper-beautiful, Hyper-sexuality, Transcedentalities

Of a love not to be limited by Barren rules of mothers, sisters, daughters or Wives, But the pure essence of a fire set apart, Existing solely for the temperaments of men, Who neither fit easily into the roles of son or Brother or father or husband, Lovers, then, Alone to the Alone,

20 A woman once I knew, A candidate for sainthood in another religion, Blonde, blue eyed, thin and pale, With whom I had a mystic experience On the first night, Who sometimes Saved me from sin, An antithesis to the devouring women seen In the Goddess sometimes, Or at least in some, For not all goddesses can be the one Goddess, Nor facets thereof, Despite the Eristic, But this woman, more a saint than Goddess, Taught me

To find the form, But I looked away, Beyond, To the heart of things, And found something else, So alive, As fire is without form, So she, Her transitions of desire Assuming shapes In which to abide,

21 I do not know what others seek, Nor what they find, And knowing the promise That one thing leads to another, I go on For discoveries Ever more potent than mere inventions, In that, There is, God, Before men and women, more than human, But there are others, too, In blue heaven,

On the other side, Yonder, And I wonder about them And what they do, Why they are concerned with us, And we with them, Having found communication From beyond Not impossible, And I think they wish it So, To call us to them that we may call on, And bring their fore down, In this, Fire came down,

22 Absolutely, The real and the ideal, Once distinguished, Determine me, And I live Having experienced ideality Break into reality And transform me, Yet, I still move in the consensus, Even having, too much of the time, By grace, Who ever she is, A common sense

Once lacking, But, It nevertheless remains to be said, That the ideal, Being invisible, Is neither dark nor Light,

23 All catholic moral teaching binds one To a metaphysics of light, That is, To duality, The demon of Zarathustra, Which yet enters not into the Papal equation, For, In duality, It is all so simple, Right and wrong for everything, But, The invisible is not amenable,

To Up and down, Light and dark, Good and evil, And only when translated Into our perceptions Takes on The forms of evil And fear,

24 In the era of ends, In the antichristian, Absolutely, The absolute is arriving, To destroy mere Thinking, As indicated in diverse imaginations, Still human, In concepts from Abstract appropriation To the aliens and zombies Feasting on our flesh, To evil submerging human dignities

In a darker night, Worse than hell, For underserved, Or, In the end simple annihilation, Death by natural cause, The slate wiped clean, And erasure so complete, There will never be a slate On which to write Again,

25 Absolutely, The absolute cannot be conditioned, On which the ensemble depend, Not adopted, nor adapted, In that we may not fit, No one It is said, no one may stand on judgment, Who can? Though one may prepare, And these ways are simple and known to the religions, Yet, While it is solace for now, It will not matter

After Though we have been promised, And believe if we will, And it is hard to love, after all, to love The sheer absolute, Alone to Alone,

26 Absolutely, The absolute is neither void nor full, And we do not really know what we are saying When we say, God, In that, Having been blessed with impressions of more human stamp, Out of Israel, And elsewhere, To befriend and tell, Be not afraid, The absolute loves you, And love is absolute,

But ignorance and guilt detain us from That love, So we are to blame, And need religion, to get there, to make-up for our defects, Still, In religions archive Everything has returned No longer is there but one way, And we may know love without guilt, How much more so absolutes,

27 So that, Out of the memory and even more so the imagination of man Every Goddess is revived, But to conflict experience, For they have always been, And will always be, And the God tolerated them elsewhere, But not in his peculiar little acre of Israel, In other words, Jealous God, right, he claimed, As a husband is right of his wife, So that,

The sin adultery became the capital crime, Fidelity in marriage the greatest virtue, And this is the basis of the religion Of God,

28 The strange woman tempts, The good woman is divine, And I know not what it is in men like that we love to wander in the strange, And leave home Run away And lose ourselves Perhaps forever, For that is the danger, To court annihilation, By inordinate desires and desire for The Inordinate,

29 We sometimes fall in love And find we have fallen in love With the wrong person, So, Change partners, And if I loved a goddess or two or three What is that between me and thee, And though I did not love them wisely, But oh so well, Perhaps the god corrects men of their penchant for goddesses, through threats and fear and hell, For men would rather serve, or be enslaved, To beauty Her intoxication

To fire To desire Than live without And wait, Finding gambling worthwhile, however we choose, We place our Bets,

30 In goddesses the union, then, appropriate, Of sex and religion, Of which in other contexts much to suffer is, Through contamination, Crisis of our time, But to accept another way May hold the secret out of Deconsecration and deconstruction, The problem of the host, And in the instability, some look to Eris to blame and thank, And she may be, the cause But not the solution,

For love opposes strife, and out of chaos desire may save, In Aphrodite then to come, Though I am but agnostic as to goddesses, Not knowing yet who loves me better, who loves me more,

31 So that, Eris exercised me to excesses not to be excised, As others of note, And I speak in fondness, still but a little wary, if not weary, For desire they bring, so I do not tire to speak of them, Not deceitful, maybe tender, like one who lays with one unknown, And perhaps without caring about, In an air of carelessness, For she may feel much the same way About me, Being eternally above me and perhaps ultimately unreachable,

32 To risk abuse, to risk heresy, I think of all the goddesses likeable in all their varied ways, even in Tibetan witchcrafts and immolations, And with no slight to Eris, either, the one in whom the inheritance may still arrive in fee, Yet, There is something about Aphrodite, Hard to forget, Though she is, if not weak, as has sometimes been portrayed, And I know of her power, proven to me, Still, in the embodiment of love, She affects me sexually and imaginatively, In a pleasing way,

33 The goddess of the chaos, on the other hand, Fascinates, As an idea in play, the de-constructing play of the world, in chaotic freedom and opportunities, not only in idea, But to become in love with chaos, may only last a few days, at most, And a man wants a woman, if not faithful, at least not stubbornly unfaithful, As Eris seems to be, For she loves not love to love As Aphrodite does, And desire is so Dependable,

34 There are others ranked among the goddesses, Deities of the East with whom I have prayed And laid, wed, been fed, and died, overcome and been overcome by, yet I look back not with regret, for such was the requirements made on me at the time, To the horror of Lilith and Carmilla, though, I withheld my seed, But other fair forms and faces I may worship and adore, Some men I think have known them all everyone And in but a brief career, Only to be destroyed, but I hold goddesses then still but agnostically, and not in agony, and see a path to wisdom in, a wisdom of desire,

35 So, The Greeks who love their goddesses were the wisest men, and loved wisdom, philosophy, a lady, But the Jews sought a sign to follow in fear, And Paul preached Christ crucified, a thought breaking on the ancient world and destroying it, submerged for 1000 years, Till men tired of being still crucified, it was no longer sane to suffer such divinity, And sought their goddesses once again, In the girl next door in the goddess t-shirt, Or, sublimely, in the goddess store in the back of the mind,

36 If, Despite my Christian faith, and salutary walks therein, Have still, I do not hesitate to say, love for the goddesses, it is because of one in particular, Aphrodite, Who, following the victory I won over her and her champion at the university, in three nights of debate in 2008, a thing of which I think he later died, Has relentlessly pursued me since, causing me at times so depthed, In desire,

I was to commit crimes, not knowing what I was doing, And, Despite a better judgment, I find it honest to admit, I love her, After all

37 So that, I have finally come to realize, in my religious context, behind all the different goddesses there was but one, Aphrodite, Who is beautiful, more than beautiful, and is not strange or evil, and though she is promiscuous and adulterous She is the cause of desire in me like I had read of but had never known before, Which I had since the pursuit began directed at others, never knowing, It was she, and I cannot live in two worlds, trying to obey God and please the Goddess just the same

38 So praying, God may accept a heretical notion of panentheism I call The Absolute and The Ensemble AE In which goddesses are allowed a place, so I realize a dream I had fifteen years ago, that I would marry the daughter of the king, And Aphrodite is, So to consummate our nuptials, I will say her secret name, The one she meant for me,

39 And when, Dear Aphrodite, I made love to you in the reading of your hidden name, so long reserved for me, I found these words, I HARD POET I REDO PATH And, in deed you are, and have, and I do testify in faith and hope and love, but you may be harder, yet, to follow, find, and harder yet to hold, Still I may see you again in the letter A, in my dictionarys page on which falls Apocalyptic, Still after still and ever yet an after still to come, well walk again in Cyprus, on your sacred isle, now here, now there, in which I have been promised a princess for to wed,

40 Aphrodite, In whom I live, And come, And have my being

41 The God of Israel revealed the plan for the Temple to Ezekiel, a map, as has been said, of the Mind of God, Everything measured by numbers, exact, defined, But, Aphrodite, Being curved, curvaceous, The opposite of the Mind of the God of Israel, Whose righteousness does not swerve or bend, So straight, So square, In her sweet desirous clinamens Is not to be defined,

So that she will not let herself be pinned-down, More like a honeyed Pi The Transcendentality of number, In whose desire an end is scented, A love that goes on

42 So that, When God called Abraham, and told him to kill his son, And insanely, Abraham obeyed, The foundation stone of three religions was laid on The willingness to murder in Gods name and call it faith, But, On the other hand, There is a world, an island not far from which, where I now live,

And do not fear the coming wrath, Living in love, Forgetting the fathers fear In my divinity more heavenly, Ever more, sublime when that aspect is found in Beauty, Aphrodite Absolute