Families

Lecture 5

What are families for?

Families promote the survival of its members. We take our adolescent to the doctor, try to get her to eat right, discourage drug use. Families encourage skill development in adolescents in concrete ways like cooking with our adolescent, helping with home work, or sharing our interest for fixing automobiles. Social skills and psychological skills are also implicitly taught. Our kids will probably argue the way we argue, or deal with anxiety the way we deal with anxiety.
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What are families for?

Families support one another. When sad, angry or scared our adolescent (hopefully) feels comfortable talking to us.

Socialization
Families are responsible for seeing that their children acquire the essential values, beliefs, and aspirations of the culture.

Robert LeVine
Robert LeVine is another interesting person in psychology, interesting in how he did his work. He is one of the few people doing psychological anthropology. So often we know the psychology of North America, but Dr. LeVine studied parenting and child development of people across the globe. In fact, in 1994 he published Childcare and Culture: Lessons from Africa.
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Robert A. Levine
He presently is studying maternal education in Nepal, studying how womens literacy positively affects their health, their childrens health, and their childrens literacy. LeVine argues that families in every society have the same three basic goals for their children: survival, teaching skills and attitudes, and encouraging other social values. He sees these as hierarchical.
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Families as Dynamic Systems

Families form complex social systems of relationships that are constantly responding to changing circumstances. We are all influencing each other. As a parent, Im trying to influence my daughter, but how she acts influences how I parent, and my relationship with my wife creates joy or tension or calmness in the house that my daughter can feel, etc.
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Disequilibrium and Phase Transitions

Any time there is a significant change in a family member or in a dyadic relationship, it creates an imbalance or disequilibrium in the family system (p. 141). Puberty is one of those changes. We need to change the way we act. Old patterns breaking down and new patterns emerging is called a phase transition. During phase transitions even minor events may have far reaching consequences.
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Phase Transitions
Parents need to be willing to change their expectations and often they should expect that conflict will be about adolescents wanting more autonomy than the parents are willing to give. When is your child old enough to go to the movie alone? When is your child old enough to date? Conflict will often be most frequent (and intense!) in early adolescence and the go down in later adolescence. Unfortunately, some of this is because the adolescent is spending less time with the parents.
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Parenting Dimensions

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Authoritative parents
Adolescents from authoritative families consistently show the most favourable outcomes. They do better in school, they are more independent and self-assured, they are less anxious and depressed, and they are less likely to get involved in delinquency and drug use.

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Authoritarian families
Adolescents from authoritarian families are more dependent and passive. They are less self-assured and have weak self-esteem and communication skills.

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Indulgent families
Adolescents from indulgent families tend to be more immature and irresponsible. They are also more influenced by their friends and peers.

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Indifferent families
Adolescents from indifferent families have the hardest time. They show little interest in school or work and are more likely to get involved in delinquency, early sexual activity, and drug use.

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Why does authoritative parenting work?

Roberts and Steinberg (Laurence Steinberg who wrote the 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting is another name you should probably remember) state that authoritative parenting provides acceptance/involvement, supervision/control, and psychological autonomy granting.

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Why does authoritative parenting work?

It seems these three things provide different benefits to adolescents. Involvement seems linked to the teens overall sense of well-being. Autonomy-granting is related to the adolescents feelings of competence and achievement motives, and be a resiliency factor against anxiety and depression (with increasing teen depression rates this is important).
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Why does authoritative parenting work?

Supervision/control (that is behavioural control) is related to fewer externalizing behaviours (drinking, defiance, risky sexual behaviours).

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Authoritative parenting cross culturally

Many non-European based cultures are more authoritarian. They can be very nurturing, but they dont give explanations for rules in the family. You do it because Im the dad. Now dont talk back and run along. And yet, these adolescents dont seem to have the problems common to children of authoritarian parents (low selfesteem, dependency). Why?
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Diana Baumrind
One of the amazing thing about both Baumrind and LeVine is they are still publishing despite being in their 80s. On her web page at University of Berkley she wrote, I chose a research career supported by multiple large grants because its flexible hours enabled me to balance care for my three daughters, political activism, and scholarship. I continue to work and work out assiduously. Baumrind is working on the data on corporal punishment right now (her forthcoming article is called An Unconditional Admonition Opposing Parents Use of Corporal Punishment is Not Justified by the Data. Law and Contemporary Problems. Duke University School of Law: Durham, NC, 27708-0360.).
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Traditional Parenting
Because non-European families seem to be able to be more authoritarian without inducing internalizing problems in their children Baumrind has suggested a fifth parenting style: traditional parenting.

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Parent-teen conflict
Conflicts are most frequent in early adolescence and more often with mothers. Parents and adolescence generally agree that parents have the right to make rules on moral, conventional, and safety issues. They also agree that personal issues are the teens domain.

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Divorce
Divorce is MUCH more common that it was fifty years ago. Some of this is good. For instance, thanks to women having more economic security and no fault divorces women are not forced to stay in abusive relationships. But has it gone too far?

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Divorce
30% of Canadian marriages will end in divorce. 50% of American marriages will end in divorce. In fact, within the first ten years, 30% of first marriages end in divorce in the US, and the chance of a persons second or third marriage lasting is worse than the first.

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Divorce
How does divorce affect the kids? Well, it isnt good, but it might not be as bad as we once thought. Compared to those who live with both biological parents, teens whose parents are divorced run a greater risk of developing problems such as drug and alcohol use, depression, anxiety, and earlier sexual activity. They do worse in school are less likely to go to college, and are more likely to have marital problems as adults.
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The affects of divorce

That sounds horrific. How can one say it isnt as bad as we once thought? Most children do well after their parents divorce. Of course, it is difficult when parents separate. It is sad and scary. But up to 80% recover and do as well as their peers. If approximately 90% of children with both biological parents show healthy adjustment, that means just 10% more kids whose parents have divorced struggled than kids with both biological parents.
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The affects of divorce

We also know if parents do not ask (or subtly suggest) that the kids pick sides, that the parents dont bad mouth the other parent in the kids presence, and both parents emphasize that they still love their children and will work hard to make coparenting work, then the risks of divorce are diminished.
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The affects of divorce

In Saskatchewan, divorcing parents are asked by Sask. Justice to go to a Seperation and Divorce Parenting Course. This is a one day session that consists of three 2 hour sessions in which people are encouraged to make a co-parenting plan and are educated on doing separation in a way that is as compassionate for the kids as possible.
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The affects of divorce

Should we stay together for the kids? Not if there is open hostility in the home. Open hostility in the home threatens the childs belief that the family is secure. The children go on to interpret parent-child conflict as more hostile or threatening. Children may also blame themselves for the conflict in the home and this results in guilt and sadness.
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Stepfamilies
Many kids find blending families very hard. Adolescents in step families have more difficulties than sing-parent homes. Early adolescence is the toughest time to have parents remarry. Girls have more trouble interacting with stepfathers than do boys.

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Step families
BUT, like divorce, the great majority of adolescents over come any initial problems and make a good adjustment. Authoritative parenting helps, as does warm, close relationships with a male figure: the step father, the biological father, or preferably both.

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Working Moms
In 1998 Duxbury and Higgins did a large survey in Saskatchewan. They found the following: 78% of employees were part of dual-income families. 77% were parents. The typical employee in Saskatchewan spent over 70 hours a week in work and family activities.
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Working Moms
Women worked more than men. Men spent 74.4 hours per week on work and family care. Women worked 77.8 hours per week on work and family care. Men spent more time at work than women; women spent more time in family activities than men.
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Working Moms
There are data to indicate both men and women are feeling too busy. Duxbury and Higgins comparison of 1991 and 2001 Canadian survey data show work/family conflict is increasing. In 1991, 10% of respondents worked over 50 hours a week. In 2001, 25% worked over 50 hours a week.
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Working Moms
During this same time period (1991 to 2001) the number of sick days has gone up and the amount of commitment to the job has gone down. This business is driving us a bit crazy. In 1991, 44% of respondents stated they had high levels of stress. In 2001, it was 55% with high stress. In 1991, 24% stated they had high levels of depressed mood. In 2001, it was 36%.

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Working Moms
Women report higher levels of perceived stress, burnout, and depressed mood than men. Once again, there is a BUT, and the but is that there is not clear evidence that dual income families adversely affect children, and, in fact, it might be a good thing for girls.

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Working Moms
Of course, dual income means more money which is positive, but maybe not as positive as one would think. Once our basic needs are met, there is no certainty that more money will make us any happier. There are three reasons for this. 1. At times the sacrifice to make more income reduces time and resources on those things that could bring us greater happiness.

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Working Moms
2. Money has profound habituation effects. 3. Once our basic needs are met, money only makes us happier if it makes us comparatively richer (we are richer than our neighbors). It is now known that happiness survey scores within a nation do not rise noticeably as that nation becomes wealthier.
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Working Moms
Sonick & Hemenway (1998) Harvard thought experiment. Well, if the increased money wont make us happier, why is working moms a good thing. Well, For girls, having a mother who works is linked to higher self-esteem, higher career aspirations, and less stereotyped views of male and female roles. Presumably, the mother serves them as a model of an active, achieving woman. For boys, the picture is cloudier. Middle-class boys whose mothers work full time tend to get lower grades and achievement scores than those whose mothers are not employed (167).

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Working Moms
In a society that does not always value parenting as much as it should, I wonder if it is not also good for the mothers to have work outside of the home.

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Latchkey kids
Latchkey kids are adolescents who are without supervision after school and on vacation days. These kids are somewhat more likely to show emotional, academic, and adjustment problems than those who have a parent at home during the adolescents free hours. Monitoring can reduce these problems.

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