Excerpt 1: The Bust

Iwasalwaystolditwouldstartlikeanyotherday.Breakfastandcoffee.Washthedishes. Mayberollajoint.Andjustasyourelightingthatsweetbabyup,tenheavilyarmedcopscome chargingintoeveryGoddamnopeningtheycanfittheirfatassesthrough.Thatshowithappens. Otherthantheusualmindmaulingparanoiathatpotgrowersinterminablyexperience,nobody everfeelsanydifferentthemorningtheyarebusted.Nobody. Iwokewithastuffynoseonthecouchinthelivingroomoftheoldranchhouse, whichrestedunnaturallyonthepropertymyolderbrother,John,andIhadboughteightmonths earlier.Inthepropersuburbansetting,itmayhavebeenjustfine,butsurroundedbythewildhills ofHumboldtCounty,itlookedlikeamisplacedmovieset.Ifyouhappeneduponitonahike,you mightthinkyouwerehallucinating.Theoldcouplewhodbuiltitasaplacetoretireandliveout theirdays,diedwithinsixmonthsofeachother,leavingthepropertytotheirjunkieson.We boughtittenyearslater,whenithadbecomenothingmorethanagiantrundownshack.Forus, itwasperfect.Wewantedittolookabandoned. Johnwascuttingfatslicesofthebeerbreadhedbakedthedaybefore,layingthemout onabakingpan.HelookedupasIwalkedintothekitchen. Morning,Stinky.Seriously,Mike,willyoutakeashowertoday?heimplored.Wehadno hotwater.Whichbasicallymeantshoweringwasnothingshortofbarbarism. Shutup,man.Iwill,Iwill,Isaidwhilesmellingmyarmpit,tryingtorememberhow manydaysithadbeen. Good.ImgonnajumpintheshowerassoonasIputtheseintheoven,sodoyour deedsifyouneeds,hesmiled.Johnhadafullfacesmilethatmadehimlooklikeagentleold man.Everythingsquishedupfromhismouth,hiskindeyesappearingtocloseandhisnose

stretchingout,sothathisentirefacecrinkled.Otherthanourcurlyblondhair,heandIdidntlook toomuchalike.HegotDadsfaceandIgotMoms.Attwentyfiveyearsoldfouryearsolder thanmehehadanairabouthimthatmadehimseemmucholderthanhewas.Helooked youngenough.Likeme(Imustadmit)hewashandsome(thankyou)butitbecamequickly obvioustopeoplethatJohnhadlivedalotoflife.Hehad.Fifteenyearsago,ourDadwas sentencedtofiftyyearsinaThaiprisonforconspiringtosmuggleaboatloadofherointo Australia.Nineyearsafterthat,in1986,ourmomdiedofbreastcancer.Johnsteppedup. Amongotherthings,hetookgoodcareofme.Soyeah,hehad. Nah.Imcool.Howsthecoffee? Readytoplunge,hepracticallysang.Wewereaweekorsofromharvesting,and becauseofthat,exceptforthenastycoldswewerebothdealingwith,wewereinbetterthan usualspirits.Wedbeengrowingandsavingforalongtimeandthiswastobeourfirstbig payoff.Yes,wewerehappy.ButweweresavingmoneytobribeDadoutofprison,andwewere stillfarfromourgoal.BribingThaiofficialstookalotofcash.Afuckingdirtyfilthyshitlotofcash. Wedcertainlycreatedamoneymaker.Theoldcouplehadbuiltathreecargarageabout fiftyyardsfromthehouse.Thatwaswherewehadsetupa60kilowattgenerator,thirty 1,000watthalidegrowlights,aseriesofintakeandexhaustfans,aCO2burner,aboombox loopingEnyaorMozart,andeveryotherhightechgrowingdeviceonthemarketin1992.That wasalsowherethefedswouldfindenoughplantstogetJohnandmeamandatoryminimum sentenceoftenyearsinprison. Ipouredtwocupsofcoffeeandbegandiggingintoabagofweed,lookingforafinebud tostartthedaywith.AsIconcentrated,IaskedJohnifwecouldatleastvisitDadoncewedsold theweed. Mike,youknowhedoesntwantustodothat.Hehashisreasons.Youknow.You rememberhowthataffectedhim,bro.Weregoingtogethimout.Weredoingit,Mike.He releasedhissmile,Weredoingit! Iheldupapurplishbud,ImgoingtonamethisbudSheri. Helaughed.Johnwasalwaysquicktolaugh.Irememberalmostpukingwhenhehada threeinchfingashopeneduponthetopofhishead,whilehelaughedallthewaytothehospital. AsIbrokeupthebud,Icontinued,OhSheri,beautifulSheri,wethankyouforthejoyyou willbestowuponourday! Weatebeerbreadtoast,finishedourcoffee,andsmokedajoint. Allgood. Iwenttomybedroomtoputonsomecleanclothes.IheardJohnstomptothebathroom yelling,Alarm!Alarm!Hefollowedupwithanalarmsound,somethinghealwaysdidto announcehewasabouttotakeashit.IchuckledasIdugacleanpairofunderwearoutfrommy bagofclothes.Iheardanengineandlookedoutthewindow.ThatswhenIsawthem:threeor morewhitepickupsandatleastoneBlazerspeedingdownthehill,justatthelastcutbackbefore thestraightshottothehouse.BeforeIhadtimetoabsorbthehorrorofwhatwascoming,Iraced tothebathroomdoor. Ithrewopenthedoorandwhisperyelled,Copsarehere!Werebeingbusted,John! Hereachedforthetoiletpaperandtoldmetorun.Ifroze,andJohnleanedoverand pushedme,RUN,MIKE!

Buckfuckingnaked,Ileaptthroughthescreendoorandoverthedeckrail.Theedgeof thewoodswasatleastthirtyyardsfromthebackofthehouse,toofartoruntowithoutbeing seen,soIturnedbackandcrawledunderthehouse.WhenIturnedtoseeifJohnwasbehind me,Iheardmenscreaminganddoorsbeingkickedopen.Wegotyou,fucka!Wegotyou, fucka!Iquicklyclosedthesmalldoorandwentforthefarthestcornerfromtheopening.IknewI wastearingupmybarekneesonthegravelbutfeltnothing.Ilayflatandbegantolisten.I couldntreallymakeoutwhatwasbeingsaidbutIcouldhearhowtheyweresayingit.Ihad neverheardmorefbombsutteredinsuchashortperiodoftime.Theywereobviouslyfromthe EastCoast.IassumedtheywereDEA,buttheycouldhaveeasilypassedformobsters.Id heardthatabouttheDEA. Afterabouttwentyminutes,IheardthemcomeoutsideandmuscleJohnintooneofthe pickups. Saygoodbye,youstupidfucka,Iheardoneofthemsayasthedoorslammedshut. Andthensomebodyatthegarageyelled:Howisit? Itsstillinthefuckinpots. Iwonderedwhytheycaredaboutthat. Weshouldaknownthatfuckawasntbeingcompletelystraight.Screwit,atleastwegot theguy,andwecandrythisshitinthemissionhouse.Itsjustabonusanyway.Letsloaditup. Iscrambledtoaventtotryandseesomething.IftheseguyswerenttrueDEA,theysure ashellhadasophisticatedoperation.Thepickupshaddecalsandsirens.Theyallhadthecop thinggoingblackshirts,guns,jeans,blackbootsbutIcouldntseeanyfaces.Iwatchedas theyloadedallofourplantsintothetruckbedsandcoveredthemwithtarps.Theydidverylittle speakingwhilethiswenton.Astheyweregettingintothecars,Iheardoneguyaskathirdman who,upuntilthen,hadntsaidaword,Whatdoyouthink? Iwasntsure,butIthoughtIheardhimsay,Thatsdefinitelyhim. Cardoorsslammed,enginesstarted,andtheydroveaway.Iwasphysicallyillatthat point.IcantimaginehowIwouldhavefelthadIknownwhatwasreallyhappening.