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From: Francine Herlehy <herlehy@uwindsor.

ca> Date: Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:06:52 -0500 Subject: Letter from Dean Cameron re Oyez
Please see important Letter from Dean Camille Cameron regarding the recent issue of the Oyez.

Francine A. Herlehy Assistant Dean (Student Services) University of Windsor Faculty of Law Room Gi 12 401 Sunset Avenue Windsor, Ontario N98 3P4 < herlehy@uwindsor.ca 519-253-3000 ext 4228
Please consider the environment before punting this email.

Dear Students, I am writing regarding the decision today to withdraw from circulation available copies of Oyez. That decision was taken because there was a comment in Oyez that crossed a line. Looked at from the perspectives of many members of the public, our alumni, our donors, and our other friends and supporters, it was offensive and unacceptable. I do not mean that was the intention, but that was the effect. Material that is printed and disseminated in the name of Windsor Law has to take account of these reputational issues and concerns. I am responsible to our students and faculty, and also to a much wider constituency, thus I had to make the decision I did. I wish I had not been put in that position, but I was. Sincerely, Camille Cameron Dean and Professor Windsor Law School












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A Sliding Scale of Exam Time Out- KEY TERMS bursts to Amount of Classes Attended SELL OuT: 1) The act of

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I need my sleep befor% an exam

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No... I dont have notes...

Frew Brews [SEE P. 9] Facebook Privacy Notice [SEE P. 9] Epic Ethics

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entering law school to bring social justice to the people but then gladly accepting a position via OCls for the ex perience. [SEE 7] 2) the act of calling someone out for something theyd likely want to keep on the dll [SEE i. 5]. [fig.1] LORD OF THE FLIES: A book you were supposed to read in Ele mentary school, but opted for Coles Notes instead. This was before you knew about the internet. LORD OF THE FILES: What youll call yourself to feel awesome after the first time you reor ganize a senior lawyers files. For 37 hours.

I needed my sleep all semester long I ow nothIng

buring finals,

doesnt mafter

cryIng In the library


POSTAGE RULE: If you sent it in a text, it doesnt matter if shes opened it yet, consider it received.

MARKET VALUE: Youre a law stu dent. Yours just went up, slick INTERESTED PARTY: The role of the crusher as opposed to the

crushee in your law school ro mance. RETURN OF SERVICE: Again, nicely done. chief

Windsor Laws premiere Legal Satire Magazine. We pride ourselves on our ability to elicit laughter from the least broad audience accessible; Law Students who attend Uwindsor. FOR US. BY US.

Lindsay Traves

Don Pyper

Chris Marshall

Jilian Deley

Adrian Chung

Alison Gorham

Ken Bendeira

Tim Morris

Robert Russon

Ava Elias

Re Kramer


Ken Bendiera, Paul Voinea, Sarah Donahue, Aaron Johnson, Halley Carcasole, Josh Price, Jana Smith, Jackie Morrison The OyeZ welcomes all student submissions but reserves the right not to print anything ba nal, unfunny, offensive, or below the respective B-curve. Send your photos, ideas, articles, faux ads, or anything else you are vain enough to think we should include. PLEASE SEND ALL SUBMISSIONS TO LINDSAYTRAVES@HOTMAIL.COM For past issues, visit: Web2.uwindsor.ca/Iaw/theoyez!index.htm



COURTROOM FACILITIES While not a law school, Greendale finds having a courtroom The more necessary UWindsor courtroom comes fully equipped absolutely necessary. A critic might claim they hold court in their with outdated sound systems, plugs at some of the seats, a podi gym facilities, but the Dean will tell you, their courtroom comes urn on wheels, oh, and three awesome quilts. equipped with a heated Olympic sized pool. THE DEAN Dean Craig Pelton of Greendale Community College is a lean, Unknown [Fig.2] mean, deaning machine. He has dedicated his life to improving the fifth rate safety school boasting would you rather go to a danger school?. Dean Pelton can regularly be seen trotting around campus toting appropriate pun costumes for almost every occasion. Its not Halloween, but its absolutely appropriate to dress as a Rockette to let students know that class has been Can Can Cancelled. [Fig.1] MOST FAMOUS PERSON TO WALK THE HALLS Boast, via statue, its very own Luis Guzman, star of such epics as Not to be outdone, Windsor Law has its very own celebrity, David No Picnic and Lolas Caf Sazant of Mean Girls. Thats right, students, the feisty member of Marymounts Mathlete team waltzes our halls daily. Yes, ladies, he picks the girl, too. SOCIAL EVENTS Halloween Parties, Greene Day concerts, Valentines Day DancThe Friday after the Halloween party speaks to the quality of our es, Tranny Dances, Caesar Salad day, Puppy parades, Pop and social events. Every event is amazing, and you should go to all of lock-a-thons: Greendale has an event for everyone! them. *unbiased head of social committee LIBRARY FACILITIES The Greendale library comes equipped with an unnaturally large The Windsor Law library is finally allowing you to bring in coffee. study room, and a monkey in the vents. The library was home to both Pillowtown and the Republic of Blanketsburg; and has survived not one, but two paintball wars. COURSE OFFERINGS Has a very diverse list of classes, including Spanish, Biology, Doesnt even offer a course on Jude Law (see..pg. 9) Pottery, Ladders, Whos the Boss, Baby Talk, Advanced Breathe Holding, and CanI Fry That? THE STUDENT BODY A rag-tag team of misfits who somehow all fit perfectly together A rag-tag team of misfits who somehow all fit perfectly together academically and socially. II academically and socially. FACULTY Home to such unaccredited professors as Senior El Tigre Chang Not one of our professors has had a keytar meltdown in the parkand Admiral Lee Slaughter. ing lot. NOT ONE. MASCOT Formerly The Grizzlies, Greendale opted to adopt Ours has the same name as a Japanese car. [Fig. 4] 4 more accessible Greendale Human Being who is and racially guos Fig. 3




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My interview with Fogler Rubinoff went pretty well. I mean, the Soul-Removal ma chine at the lobby was a little strange, but like Broooo they had matcha-flavoured cookies, so it evened out. and Claire Bridgemount, L2 then we BROd--oh, the epic BROing we did that day[. I loved the fun innuendos thrown at me during my in-firm at Bennett Jones. BJ this, BJ that, BJs all over Unnamed Western student at McCarthy Tetrault my face. I guess they just really love Ben & Jerrys in-firm



On Davies in-firm: Luxurious office space, stylish artwork hanging from the,. were polite, witty and easy to talk to. Bathrooms were also gorgeous, so metal lic and spotlessly clean. Somewhat easy to ignore the female associate hud dled in the corner, trying Beverly Irish, unemployed to choke herself with her pearls. Dinner afterward I came in and was all like, Its such a pleasure to be was superb. here. Bro And they were all like, Its always exciting for us to see new faces, BRO And then I was all like, Anita Jabb, L2 Bro, please, do not feign humility; Im the one who should be gracious here, BRO. And then they were all One of the partners at the Heenan Blaikie dinner said my tie wasnt skinny enough. It was a shoelace:

Bobby Flannigan, L2

At first I loved the dinner that Fasken Martineau threw for me. The Riesling I had paired so elegantly with my Chilean sea bass and wasabi-infused polen ta. But then they started asking me all these questions like What about Faskens compelled you to apply? And I was all like Quality of work, approachable as sociates, high-profile dealings, blahblahblah, MOAR WINE PLEEZE. And then a floor happened.

William ZeBerg, L2

Goodmans? More like. UNGoodmans. Ha.

. .

Dillon Hollandaise, eyeroll-inducer

The Chronicles of this S%$T Time of Year [by Ken Bandeira]

Exams are fast approaching and with that comes those Windsor Law sweaters, track pants, CANS being thrown around like a drunk law student on the mechanical bull, and the musky scent of law students as they scrimmage around trying to get there shit together, panicking and hoping that everyone else in class paid as much attention as them. As profesors find new methods to grade those exams beyond throwing all of them down the stairwell and grading based on where thapers fall, ILs running around like chickens without heads, with stress in their eyes and the hope that the dev astation wont be to much when they check there grades in the New Year. Sleepless nights, new memories, and a few tears might be around the corner but never forget that its all about the experience. I am discussing here experiences beyond blacking out at the Loop on Halloween, losing your jacket the same night, and then posting on Facebook asking for its safe return. Lastly I leave you stressed out nuts with some words of wisdom about billing your client (apparently something 1 L Shaun Aaron failed to do>. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients 9 DRUM ROLL PLEASE.... To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.


WELCOME TO WINDSOR LAW! And if youre in Law II, Law Ill or been waiting in line for a parking space, wel come back! Now that classes are in full swing, both of you that have been paying attention in class think youve figured out your professors teaching style. Sorry to be that guy, but youre wrong. Learning your professors style properly takes years, careful study and a few well-placed spies. Since you cant afford all three, the Oyez will help you out by giving these warning signs of an evil professor. If your prof does any two of the following, your legal career will require you to drop the course, even if it means failing. Trust us, an extra year of law school is nothing compared to a professor who hates you, even with blind marking:
When you ask he how long the exam is, he proudly tells you that If someones cell phone rings its and a half by eleven, eight during class, she has this embar which is impossible because that rassing policy of making the would describe its area, not length. The murder victims in the exam offending student walk to the front hypo is an obvious anagram of of class and apologize to the class Her list of required reading your own name, which is especial while she takes ly odd since the course is Access the phone and calls every firm to Justice. on Bay Street. When you ask her for a recom mendation letter, she mails you an Shows up to the Tax Law lec index card with an F on it. ture and spends The syllabus says his office two hours teach is located under the Ambassador ing the subject Bridge. of Tax Law Before class started, she man Constantly aged to put Whoopee cushions that legal quotes below some of the chairs, which that The answer is always includes issues of The Oyez.* maxim would be kinda funny if the gas and then sets a midterm maybe, that came out didnt make every The midterm assignment and only with true-false questions. one cou the final exam are each worth _?rearly morning seminars, e has this annoying habit 100% of the grade. of swing up to students pre he offers everyone in the class dr.ri making awkward small During the course moot, he homemade coffee with homemade h everyone and sacrificing insists that you stand on a section cream, but something about that talk of the floor labeled Trapdoor. goats. coffee has a sticky, salty after When you ask her a question If she catches you using Facebook during class, she adds you. about a difficult case, she directs you to read her unpublished manu Will offer to teach classes out script on the topic, before tearfully doors for a change, in the middle begging the class for connections of winter. in the publishing world. Your final exam hypo consists After finding an irregularity of one word. when printing the exams, she He never calls on you in class. accuses a student of theft, calls in her husband and makes the entire [By Josh Price] class stay and submit to a search, which would be the funniest joke *Editors Note: Sounds like that r in this entire piece except that it professor LOVES you! really happened. The day before your midterm on the application of a lengthy and difficult statute, he has the statute overturned He always calls on you in class.

Put some hair on your chest for those cold winter ..with 3anaaidIacLie nights. This mixSanta may enjoy his milk, but I think most of us Can ture is sure to appreciate our treats with added indulgence. Here get you all fired are some of our favourite holiday drink recipes: up. A fantas HOLIDAY HELPERS CINNABRATION tic offering for This cup ofjoy should be on every students wish list, friends and rela It will help you celebrate the completion of exams tives during the while giving you the wholesome appearance needed holiday season. to decorate with your family. With the pep from cof Ingredients fee and the taste of Cinnabon, what more could you 1 shot glass ask for from a beverage? Oh right, Schnapps! 1 oz. tequila Ingredients 2 dashes of 1 large holiday mug Tabasco 8 oz. hot coffee SHAKE YOUR 1 oz. cinnamon Syrup GELT-MAKER-TI 2-3 tbsp. Coffee-Mate French Vanilla NI 2 oz. cinnamon Schnapps Shake, shake, shake your gelt-maker (and your mar THE NAUGHTY NOT NICE MIMOSA (AKA THE TUCUS) tini shaker) all night long. This festive blend is sure This mix may taste nice, but one too many and youll to have you roaring lchaim! into the wee early be sure to find yourself on the naughty list. hours.
Ingredients 1 champagne flute 1 oz. amaretto cup Champagne cup orange juice Ingredients 1 martini glass 2 oz. vodka 1 oz. Goldschlager...conton pg. 10

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years have completed their paper requirement, this class is no longer of interest to them. 8. Lawyer as a Conflict Resolv students became drastically Ie

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[by Halley Carcasole]
1. Real Housewives of Anything.

This grumpy Calgarian has some pet peeves, and she is unleashing the wrath! .again!
. .

2. Hangovers. How dare you take the fun out of my alcoholism?

3. When a person calls your phone and has the wrong number, but cant Is Elizabeth there? No, sorry, you have the wrong number. Lizzy? Liz? Stifi Nope. Well is this 566-6666? Yes. So can I talk to Elizabeth? No.
4. On that Beef, unknown numbers that dont leave a message! I know it must have been that hot guy who I gave my number to! Or that law firm I really want to work at! Or.... another wrong number. 5. When people treat their relationships like a reality TV show. I dont care why your boy friend didnt answer your phone call until the third ring. 6. Weak handshakes. If you cant shake my hand properly, I cant respect you. 7. Guys who wear sneakers outside of the rm. Where are you running off to? Hopefully the mall to buy better shoes! 8. Dan Di Fonzos perfections. That man is a gift to women! Its kind of annoying. Um...never mind. Dan, call me! 9. When girls spend hours on their hair, just to get it to look messy. Its not that they actual ly do this, its that they think they are fooling anyone. 10. Pervy guys. I know this beef isnt original, but it is disgusting.

Now that Movember is over, it should be easier to avoid pervy guys.














wo iDrT e
.... .

November 21st, Justin Bieber hit the stage at the Palace of Auburn Hills. For everyone who missed it, heres a recap from someone who also missed it by choice. Because Im an adult. And didnt have $200 for the cheapest ticket on Stubhub.


The Crowd: A sea of Sele na Gomez hating, purple wearing, preteen Beliebers filled the Palace. Sprinkled among them were several awkward looking fathers desperately trying to win the love of their daughters, a pack of 30 year old cou gars who have come out of hiding since the Beebs 18th birthday, and several 24 year old girls who you shouldnt be judged because ITS TOTAL LY NORMAL FOR THEM TO BE THERE, OKAY?! The Opening Act (Carly Rae Jepson): 30 minutes of Call Me Maybe on a loop. One man starts bleeding from the ears; everyone else seems okay.

all the words to, which is not terrifying at all. The songs even included a cover of Yesterday by The Beatles, which was The Performance: The show described by all the fans there opened with the title track from as the best song ever! Who are his newest album: Boyfriend (is The Beatles, and why cant they that what the cd is called?) The just leave Justin alone?! The screaming from the pre-teens concert closed with the smash hit Baby featuring an appearance by none other than Ludacris himself! Can we all just take a quick mo ment to mourn the loss of Luda as a rapper? The man has 3 Grammys and is still on tracks with Bieber and Jesse McCartney. I know all his lyrics in both of those songs. Im not ashamed. The concert also featured no less than 5 ten minute dance breaks. We get it Biebs, you can dance, stop rubbing it in our faces. Some people think my robot dance moves are pret ty great too, so, theres that. break-up with Selena Gomez. In a related note, I no longer believe in love.

Highlights: Special guest ap pearance by at least one of Will Smiths kids! Likely just Jayden; Willow lost all appeal when she The Stage: The stage, locat shaved her head. She was liter Palace, the ed in the middle of ally only famous for one thing: has an offensive number of whipping her hair back and purple flashing lights, and no forth. What could she possibly less than 3 glitter cannons. do on stage now? Stand there Basically youll have a seizure a and make us all uncomfortable from the lights, and then wake with her weird hairless head? up covered in glitter with no No thank you. Also, Jayden and cougars makes the first 30 idea what happened. Its the actually raps on Never Say Nev closest any of us will ever come minutes of the show inaudible, er, so that makes more sense. to understanding Ke$ha. The which was totally fine with us, I also know all those words. I say all the dads. The set list in Biebs even as a flying heart might have a problem you guys. cluded never before heard Jus swing you can google it. Its from this swing that Bieber shed tin Bieber songs that all the 13 . Overall Grade: B+ (This grade year old girls inexplicably know one single tear over his recent literally means nothing).


: :


The Ocheje Melee:

Classes were ending, exam prep was in full force, and everyone thought they had made it through the semester with no scratch es, and then, all hell broke loose for first years. On November 28, 2012, Professor Ocheje announced to his first year proper ty class that their exam would consist entirely of True or False questions leading to, what this writer is referring to as, The True/ False Freakout of 2012. Students immediately turned to Facebook to express their out rage, likely out of fear that showing any kind of emotion in Oche jes class results in being yelled at. Many students have claimed theyre going to take a damn the man approach and get everyone to answer false to all ques tions, assuring everyone gets a B. Watch out I Ls, that plan is great in theory, but that guy sifting behind you in class has been studying since August, and honestly, not one of you can be trust ed. There goes your B curve. When reached for comment, Ocheje had nothing to say for him self other than, How do you know where I live? Get off my lawn or Im calling the cops! As someone who has written Ocheje hypos before, consider this a Christmas gift from him. Or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or whatev er it is everyone celebrates. Deep breaths guys, youre going to be airight. Good luck!


Im quite content to still be hunting for the right summer/articling job. The right fit is my only priority, Of course I d rather be in Sweaty Leddy buffing up on JR than at the Loop.. .with all my friends.., I love the law school B curve. It motivates me to work for the A. Long hours, late nights, and working on the weekends thats my dream job.

Please tell me more about your opinions on (insert hot button topic) and how you think you can solve the problem by repeated Facebook status updates.

No, I dont need a break. Please continue your lengthy discussion that is nowhere near related to our course.

I dont go to meetings in the moot just for the free food.

I like that our classrooms dont have windows.

Do they offer A2J for upper years?



Dear Sensible Sarah, Last year) spent the year in niy basement apart tnent stuclying. 1 tiidnr havefaceboo, antion the rare occasion 1 would goftr a brew at3immy s. )Towever, this year, 1 tiont know what happened: 2 ,get black out wasted every wee1end: start yelTing RPSXRLLLLL, show up tings li&, BABY at the njppers with clicls drawn allover myface, anti often entiuppant-less in my betion FrIdy morn ns with no iclea how )got there. )am afraiclthIs 11 reflectpoorly on my law career as )tiont this WI know how to stop mysef What d 1 clo? Signed: S Ilinan.

Dear Sensible Sarah, )went to the cross-ProfessionalIight antiwent home with what) thought was a babe of a nursing stutient but It turneti out she was aprostitute! She tiemantid$600 lmcs the next morning anti threat enetito go to thepolice f) clitintpay her. oh yeah, anti) thing 2 may have contractetigonahepasy yhlaIcls. What tio) do? Signed: Law i who makes extremely bad choices.

Dear Sensible Sarah, With Movember Infrll swing, )havefouncl that 1 am Inortiinately attracteclto men with mustaches. 3 tiont uncle rstanti it, 3 am a straight guy, but the sight of 7tlex Little anclMatt Mccarthy with those beautful man clustersjust rnales me go wilti 2 &rnt 1now f) can contain myself much longer, anti) clont want to make a complete ass of mysef the next time) see them. What shoulti) &? Sincerely, B Mayes.



___________ _______




Authors biggest fashion regret: owning orange cargo pants in the 9th grade. Worse than that, I would wear them multiple times a week.

I thought I would do something a little more relevant than generic fashion advice. And what better way to do this than interview some of Windsor Laws most fashionable JD candidates? So, for your viewing and reading please, I present two students whose styles is streets ahead. Name: Scott Robson Year of Law School: Law II Hometown: Edmonton, Alberta Describe your fashion style: Well I really wish I could describe my style as being influenced by something awesome like Parisian Street fashion, yada, yada, yada, but that would certainly be a lie. I guess if I had to describe my style, it is best captured by the phrase patched together copycat. If I see a cool dude rockin a really wicked greaser look, or some other guy wearing a solid cable knit sweater, I just do my best to copy it and put it all together. Where does most of your clothing come from: Places I typically shop are Urban Outfitters, The Bay, H&M, Tommy Hilfiger, J Crew and a few local Edmonton shops. How do you make decisions about what to buy: Except for dress clothes and shoes, I think I buy 98% of my stuff off of the sale rack. Most of the shirts I wear everyday I got for around 20 bucks, so price plays a big role in what I buy. Beyond that, I often just gravitate towards something that has charac ter. I cant really say what that means, but if it just seems like it has a different pattern or color from all of the other stuff on the rack, I usually pick it up. The other thing that drives a large number of my purchases is warmth. I am definitely a big fan of having a solid selection of classic sweaters, you know, the kind of sweaters that seem like someone really old knit them. Those never go out of style. Name: Katelyn Echlin-Scorer Year of Law School: 1 Hometown: Whitby, Ontario Describe your fashion style: Classy casual Where does most of your clothing come from: I like clothing from Madewell but I cant afford much of it. I shop everywhere and I borrow a lot of my wifes clothing (one of the many benefits of being in a same sex relation ship). I get clothing from H & M, J Crew, Forever 21, Value Village, thrift stores..you name it! How do you make decisions about what to buy: Its hard to describe my decision process. I have a unique style that is rather gender-neutral. I add my own flare of femininity to it. I can easily go from the womens section to the mens section and find things to wear. I first consider whether the price is reasonable. Im a law student, so budget is pretty important. If it looks classy and casual at the same time, its golden. As a vegan I dont buy leather or fur I try to support clothing that is ethica11, made I like ersatflity and clothing that can go from day to night with a slight alteration rather than an entire wardrobe change. Biggest fashion regret Having


take me 24 ,ears to be considered fashionable




Access to Luxury and the Fight for Higher Tuition

asked When whether or not students could expect any im provements on [By: Thomas Turcotte] the quality of Can you hear the rumblings? No, education, the brown its not the mysterious office of the Vice-President, Plan noise emanating from across the ning and Administration replied river in Sandwich; its the sound Hell no, we here at the univer of a growing demand. Students sity know what students expect. at Windsor Law are calling out collectively to the university; YOU ePM1E IT Charge us more, please!

are paying $600 more per year for fewer services than your future colleagues you know its good said Amanda Knox. The feeling is reflected by Jeremy Brown a 1L and member of the Class of 2015, Im actually embarrassed for 3L students graduating this year, I mean this year they are going to pay $13,500 as base tuition, when Im in 3L Im going to be paying $16,000, its almost like Im go ing to the University of Toronto!


Windsor Law was once reviled for having the thriftiest tuition around. The greater universi ty has been listening and has come to the rescue of law stu dents. Students simply want to pay more, if they dont then why do they accept yearly increas es? The problem? 1L students are being unfairly privileged be cause their tuition can be raised by 8% per year, while the rest of us already in law school are only having our tuition rise 4% per an num; where is the justice?

This movement is not some thing thats been accomplished overnight. Only 10 years ago, tuition was at half the rate it is today. However, like all advanc es, the progress made over the last decade is under threat. The Quebec Student protests of 2011 and 2012 show that progress in tuition can be reversed. When asked about whether he could imagine returning to the time when a student line of cred it was unnecessary; 2L student Rob Smith spat on the ground and said I dont want my law degree to appear on the value menu at McDonalds, I came to this school to pay out my ass, and thats what I expect to see when I look at my debt While it may be too late for Rob to pay what his successors will in the coming years, he sleeps well at night knowing that every year we are reaching closer and closer to that dream where Access to Justice is truly a luxury brand.

Too many choices!

Instead of adding services or technology we listened to what they really want Students were notably excited when they were After careful investigation, it was told about fewer opportunities discovered that it was the prov at Community Legal Aid and that ince who handcuffed the univer Mediation Services was being sities from raising tuition the way eliminated entirely. Students students expect. Students want dont really want these opportu to pay for high-quality education, nities; we are supporting students and we here at the University of with their anxieties in both the Windsor are working our best to classroom and in relation to their make sure that when students careers. With fewer options, stu look at their statement of ac dents dont have to worry about counts, they know they are paying choices, students hate choices. top dollar Why do you think they stream lined the daily Subway deal? Students have responded well to these latest developments. There is a comfort in knowing that you

.1) 2c12

Dust That Pencil Off & Use it

Ava Moradi S



I S I I I 1111 51111 5111111

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1 2 4 5 6 7 8 10 11 12 17 20 21 22 23 25 26 Down Name of law school caf Seize for ransom Only law student in Nunavut Teen Saga that came to an end this year, finally Macdonalds freebie New deans first name Online law website with pre-made Memo feature Ethnic student club with only 3 members Newest printing feature at law library Short-sleeve suit aficionado Pursuit in a lawsuit Reason for Li late Memo submissions Student species that infest law school during exam season Stashiest month of the year Judges knob Law School Halloween party hosted annually at this venue Funds raised for this school supply by social event dooi

3 9 13 14 15 16 18 19 24 27 28 29 30 31 32

Across Law 3 who drives to Toronto every Thu rsday, without fail What do you call a lawyer who doesnt chase ambulances? Vast number of stalls in girrs washroom Name of law library Number of pop machines in law school Gun look-alike Co. known for breasts and legs Home of the fish bowl Liquid courage for law students The other side of the river Professor whose hair looks like Whoppi Goldberg Unnoticed closure of this student legal clinic Life may be spent here Professor game host for Dollars for Rules Office in the back of SLS

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Have you ever wanted to see two politicians duke it out? WeU now you can indulge your deepest Freudian, ld-ean desires in an article that will get your heart racing more than E.L. James and R.L. Steins love-child ever could. Thats right, the anticipation of Trudeau and Brazeau will have nothing on this St. Pierre vs Silva-esque fight that will leave one side more embarrassed than the 2506 Brigade ever did (Thats the Bay of Pigs fiasco, for those of you too lazy to pick up a history book). Annnd now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment youve been waiting for... In the left corner, measuring 62, and weighing in at a lean I 92lbs we have Stephan Harper, the former Alberta separatist who can be credited on the advent of the new millennium with the statement: Canada appears content to become a second-tier socialistic country, boasting ever more loudly about its economy and social ser vices to mask its second-rate status... A round of applause for our Reigning Dict-err... current Presid. .uh, Prime Minister Mr. Harper!


:rc jabbing, left, left, left, left, right ohhhh and he gets Mulcair good with a snide remark about Mulcairs flight to Albertas NDP convention using jet fuel produced by the very Sydney tar-ponds he so adores. Mulcairs on the defensive off the get go but counters with the point that Harpers cancelled more environmental reviews than Ron Paul, Rick Perry would have combined! Bachmann and Michelle Oh and it looks like Mulcairs drawn first blood! What a surprise that Mulcair took the high road and didnt mention the irony in Harper lambast ing someone else on the topic of jets... Harper ripostes with the criticism that Mulcair drew from his own Ed Broadbent earlier in March that 90% of the NDP MPs who served with Mulcair backed other candidates in the election that has GOT to hurt!


Looks like

In the right corner, we have newcomer Thomas Mulcair, measuring 6l, and weighing in at a slightly beefier 2141bs. Mulcair, a relatively un known-till-recently-turned-Prime-Minister-in-Wait ing, has been criticized by Premiers and current! former leaders across the nation alike, being referred to as producing ideas that are facile... and devise by Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall, goofy... [and] gobbledygook by B.C. Premier Christy Clark, and simply doesnt make sense by Jim Flaherty, Welcome Mr. Mulcair! And here are the ring girls, Minister of Labour Lisa Raitt for the PC wait, is that the best they could do? and NDP MP Niki Ashton, waving to the camera much better and... fight!

Both fighters are starting to look a bit worn out now, but Harper is keeping up the pressure here, staying on the offensive. And another jab by Harper at Mulcair for his Dutcer, foot-in-mouth disease in wanting to reject the Nexen merger with CNOOC, thanking Mulcair for setting him up perfectly to claim in front of the Tanzanian Pres ident that the NDP is ideologically.., opposed to all investments. And Mulcair is down! Can he recover? But look! Hes not out! Mulcair coming out of nowhere with the surprise June Abacus poll statistic that only 34% of Canadians approved of the Harper government thats worse than Lyndon Johnsons rating during the Vietnam war! That right hook came out of nowhere and seems to have sent Harper reeling. With both fighters on the ropes, it seems like this is one for the judges so, who won?

Stay tuned, after these messages.

[By Paul Voinea]

1 I8



Coming up with (and sticking with> an exercise and meal plan can be a daunting task. This guide haq been prepared to take the guessing out of your work out!


1. The law school has stairs that we walk up and down every day (sometimes multiple times a day). Consider that your daily cardlo. If you find yourself going up and down the stairs frequently throughout the day, treat yourself with a baconator. Youve earned it. 2. Figuring out what to eat is easiest if youre perpetually in a bulking phase. Food, get at/in me. 3. But, bulking isnt for everyone. Looking to slim down? Try Kalteen bars. First, youll bloat, then youll immediately drop 10 pounds. The bars burn up all your carbs, and then your body runs just on water, then, once the water is gone, youll be pure lean muscle.



I I 1 I I I

4. Staying motivated is tough. Recruit a buddy to workout with. Then you never need to wor ry about having someone to get froyo with as a reward for hitting the gym. (By the way, I am always down for froyo. Seriously). 5. Dont know what to do at the gym? Youre not alone. Try looking at YouTube for pointers on technique and form. People will be so impressed with all of your knowledge they will think that you were born in a gym. Once youve impressed people, ease off. After youve won the approval of strangers, is there anything left to do at the gym? The answer is no.




Movie reviews are a wonderful thing.

Reviewers provide

MoviE REviEws

you with the ability to ensure that your hard earned dollars are not wasted on a shockingly terrible movie (or 2 hours wasted on lceFilms for the rest of you).

Unfortunately The OYEZ doesnt yet have the credibility to get a reviewer to prescreen films for you, but they are fortunate enough to have me, Both my movie-going and movie-marketing experience has landed me the ability to somewhat accurately criticize a movie based simply on its previews which are luckily, quite accessible to me. I give

you my thumbless reviews. World War Z: Lets put comedy to rest for a sec ond and get serious. Ive had a small list of large disappointments in my life: Not getting asked to the grade 9 non-denominational hol D WAR iday dance, getting rejected from Law School my first round, and the preview for World War Z. This preview pukes all over the books unreal ability to create a brutally 20 realistic view on what the world might be like after a zombie apoc alypse. Seems like Brad Pitt was jealous of Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds and decided to take his own classic.., and barf all over it. To everyone whos read it (and if you havent, you should) the zombies move fast... FAST ZOM BIES? Ugh... whats the point?

Lincoln: To be clear, this is not a vampire movie. Dont say I didnt warn you. If its anything like Bore Horse, it will likely be a struggle to stay awake while watching it, but youll feel inclined to tell everyone you know about how amazing the storyline was, and how the actors were stunning. Youll likely even feel the need to tell people Daniel Day Lewis does an amaaaazing Lincoln, because you can tell.

Life of Pi: This trailer blindsided me as a ten minute short before Pro metheus. I spent the later 9 and a half minutes checking with every one around me that I was in the correct theater. It was a bigger snooze than that 10 minute Dark Knight bologna they made me The Heat: Vay, they made Miss Congeni suffer through before Mission Im ality part 3 with the funny chick possible 4. Evoked feeling? I feel who was in all those summer chick like... I never wanna go fishing. flicks that they tried to pass off as comedies (Re: Bridesmaids). I The Great Gatsby: have to applaud them for putting If you havent seen this one yet, ladies in a leading role of a movie you probably havent been on the that doesnt seem to have a love internet in 6 months. The preview story present. See it with your itself is super entertaining. This remake not only seems visually mom. stunning while blasting a wonder ful JayZ and Kanye beat, but it also The Last Stand: has, for the first time since Titan Thanks, Hollywood. ic, Leonardo DiCaprio smiling... unless we are counting the gross teeth one in Django Unchained.






SCHO1ARS IN RESIDENCE Harvard, Yale, the University of Why purposefully assign students Detroit Mercy and many other a B, for what often may be a class elite legal institutions of the United full of A-merit work; Obvious States continue to do the unthink ly, all of us here at Windsor Law with produce nothing but K work. able replacing letter grades variations of pass/fail. Originally Students gain a greater apprecia enthralled at the idea of sleeping tion for the subject when enjoying through 8:30 classes, the more I the learning process, not cramming think about this concept, the more for a final HA! disgusted I become. Removing grades fosters a sense The crux of this issue is a very simple of teamwork; it reduces the typical question, What would law school law students predisposition to com become without students killing pete. Exactly, thats what bothers me. each other for marginal gains on a computer manufactured grading scale? Just the thought of depriving Reducing the need to compete? I incoming first-years of the experi find this troubling... Competition is ence of despising gunners, sabotag what makes society perceive law ing classmates, and hoarding CANS yers in such a positive manner, like obtained through the hard work doctors... or used car salesmen. of achieving popularity and social connections, causes me a great deal Further exploration of this is of concern. If this happens I may sue failed to yield even a modest have to start going out of my way to agreement with my original beliefs. Why should we move away from pick up the extra tab or two. letter grades? Will society begin I cannot be alone in the desire to handing out participant med maintain this tradition, so I sought als in the 2014 Olympics? Could out positive re-enforcement of my you imagine the deleterious effect beliefs. Google directed me to many this change would have? The OCT blogs praising this shift away from process would be based upon assigning arbitrary grades to suit a interpersonal skills and the content faculty-mandated curve. If I vom of the resume, not GPA! No, no, ited on the screen it would have no. Students need to take a stand. been less offensive than the rubbish Otherwise, we might seek law office or clinical experiences to set us I encountered. apart. A scientific poll of 8 of my closest friends proves that law stu

dents prefer memorizing secondary sources, such as Hoggs views on Canadian division of powers under the Constitution Act of 1867. Truthfully, even the thought of this utopian education setting is unsettling, and makes me yearn for stories of the old days when students use to hide textbooks in the library and have their parents who are lawyers proof read their essays. Im sure the professors must share my opinion. Just because we have been giving out grades since I began teaching 50 years ago doesnt make it the right thing to do. Its just another way the establishment is out to get students, sounds like the Charter is responsible for this... Students learn best when they want to. -Prof. L. Wilson. Are you kidding? Curiosity nev er led to greater knowledge gains compared to competition. Have you ever seen Hunger Games? Law school class ranking is the intellec tual equivalent. Whats next? Law schools will argue they arent re sponsible for training law students to be good lawyers? Insanity. Thankfully Canadian law schools remain tough on grades and wont be going soft anytime soon. Oh wait.., that school 4 hours east on the 401, has already instituted the pass/fail scheme,
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our)hat you have an Inn4!te dfre tp connect 50 lookIng Jor a suitable lIfe partner is your er one priority. 1-ley, other 6 num signs, take note, Libras are VTF.) Scciwpo (Ocr. 23- Irv. 21) Ooio..?Amy BIsset is a Scorpio h4 plains a tt. Like LOT S4n?bb1s (Jfov. 22- DEC. 21) }ley! 1pur birthday month! Cdj%tuTJ&Ions! 7tctually, never n(Jis month sucks. Sorry frr you but this cold: slushy, exam stress time must mean youre des tinetito 6 e an asshole. Youre just going to have to deal with it. C.PRIco1 (DEC. 22- 3vW iq) Y8Y did you dealwith that otto,- yet? Jfi,? Welt; urn, invest in some d&rant. You are serIous ly stillstinking up every class. oh and; like, youll then get more friends ands on your exams. Yeah, right, sure you will Aqjius (7eo- F. iS) qfj wer au cu1rius, what would ,.wellq woildgo make out 1 with a eminia thatparty that someone wfflInevttabry holdfor alt the suckers that are stuck at the schoolat the endofthe exam period Therefore, ipretfIct some serious lovin between you and the oh so brililant erninIs at the party. love befrre love, c4quarius. glove before love.

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Stop talking, everyone involvetlIn that conversation in the lower pit doesnt care, It is a had to be there story andthey are all wIshing they were hanging out with some one else. Like seriously. Stop. iIow
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can manage

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Your sign is synonymous with a &ad1j dIsease. 1 dont have to say anything else. Lw (gzic. 23- Aw. 22) 1-IT! Youre the lion! ok, i intfa thg lions. i think its the mane oftnd yoursef a eminI and christen the SLS office. oh wait, Shae Kavanagh anti9taron Campbell already cCitt that? welt; 1 know you wont be thefirst, but it 11be daring anc(frn. (gust dont forget to sign the undersIde of the table so that it is memorialized forever.., boo yeah!) Vo (4u. 23- SIPT. 22) VIrgo 1s an Farth Sijn, which ap jfSirfjnt( is supposeclto indicate a practcf nature. Like really? The 1 Like earth isntpractical at all look at hurricane Sandy! You are a whirlwindofciisaster,faIr Virgo, sojust ro IIwith It. Perhaps try streaking through the law library (with one of the new mugs, hey, itllbe a great attvertIsement, to get it out ofyour system.




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