Good Manners "Good Manners" are indeed an increasingly archaic school of ideas and actions that display respect,

care, and consideration. All humans have a basic right to help one another and feel positive about themselves and others around them. In our age of self-satisfaction, cell phone technology and instant internet gratification - it is sometimes hypothesized that we care more for our equipment and high tech gadgets than the very people they are made for. If you don't have an etiquette resource you should keep reading for more ideas. Consider picking up an etiquette book. There are many available. Some community colleges offer weekend lessons in etiquette and most are open to all ages. Taking a class is a great idea for teens, professionals or anyone looking to make better impressions. Therefore you would rather learn from real-world examples - study the positive effects of those who display good manners and how people react to and around them. It's basic common sense that everyone prefers to be treated with a good amount of respect. If you nurture plants, animals, or other humans, not only will they grow and bloom - but you will as well. Outside of material goods - the basic thing we all really own in life are ourselves and our actions. Think things out before you speak, especially if you are a person who may be poor at finding the right words to say. Don't start a sentence, with 'ums' and 'ers' in between, it seems awkward and you should try speaking to yourself in a mirror, it works! It increases your confidence in speaking, and it sounds much clearer, you may find you'll be using less 'ums' and 'ers' next time! Don't speak loud. You will quickly lose respect if you do, as this can be seen as overbearing and rude. It can also make other people angry and upset with you before you even establish some kind of relationship with them. They will see you as a 'big mouth'! And

therefore cannot be trusted with anything confidential. So practice at turning your volume down if you tend to have a loud voice. Speak with respect to and of others. You can do this by avoiding negative remarks that may insult someone else. Do not use expressions or theoretical examples that imply disrespect or degradation or that invite people to imagine offensive scenarios, such as "what is up your butt?" or "how would you feel if someone..." followed by a description of violent or degrading acts. You may not intend this as offensive, but it is. General rule is: if you don't want someone to speak about you that way, then don't speak about them to others. Do not ever speak of bodily functions, even if it is a casual conversation, such as using the bathroom or telling crude jokes, for this shows signs of immaturity and often gives yourself a bad impression on friends, family, and co-workers. Always respect older people, and listen to them and learn. This applies to all elders and not just parents or grandparents. Using the terms 'Thank You', 'Please', and 'You are Welcome' shows that you have good manners. People who lack manners do not use these terms. Hold open a door for anyone following you closely. This is a sign of good manners and has never changed. There are no strict gender rules in this day and age. Speak highly of your parents, respect them, even if there are things about them that you do not like. If you cannot do that, stay away from speaking about them at all around others. It looks tacky to insult or speak badly of the people who brought you into this world or raised you. Don't air dirty laundry about your family. It's tacky and rude. Do not swear or use filthy language and curse words. It's unprofessional! People who do this are usually very immature and have no self-control or respect for themselves and others! Eventually, you'll see that bad words are not appropriate and you'll begin to feel more comfortable avoiding them. Profanity is

a sign of an angry person and it puts people off you immediately as its very distasteful and offensive. Using a good decent vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence, self-respect and character. Greet others appropriately even if you know someone well. If you are a man, you do not want to greet a woman by saying, "Hey Baby, what's shaking?" Instead, try something like, "Hello, good morning or evening," anything that would make you appear to have good manners and good sense. Try to show that you are more interested in the person you are speaking to by asking them questions about themselves. Don't steal their spotlight by just talking about yourself. You don't want to come off as selfish. If you continually talk about yourself, it will quickly bore people and they will try to avoid any other future conversations with you. Pay attention to how you carry yourself. In other words, act like you have some class, which goes hand in hand with manners. Don't slouch, have a neat appearance, shake hands firmly, be clean and smell clean, hold your head high and don't hide behind dark sunglasses inside or wear other "trying to be cool" looks at the wrong time, it gives the impression of arrogance and immaturity. Don't put other people down, belittle them or spread gossip. Never openly criticize someone in an attempt to put them down or to make yourself look better. If you don't like people speaking about you in that way then don't do it yourself! Don't interrupt, cut off or override another person who is speaking, regardless of even if it is a casual conversation. In order to present a good impression to others, you need to act like you weren't raised in a barn! It is very difficult to deal with people that have no manners or have no concern for others. One of the biggest societal issues we face today is a general lack of respect for what has been taught in history in regards to human concern and compassion for those you do not know well.

The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette: 50th Anniversary Edition, by Nancy Tuckerman, Nancy Dunnan, and Amy Vanderbilt, Doubleday (1995), ISBN 0-385-41342-4, 786 pages: originally published in 1952, this and Emily Post's book were the U.S. etiquette bibles of the 50's-70's era. Eye to Eye: How People Interact, by Peter Marsh, Salem House Publication, 256 pages. From Clueless to Class Act, series of books on etiquette, by Jodi Smith deals with proper etiquette for men and women. The Little Book of Etiquette by Dorothea Johnson, Protocol School of Washington, Philadelphia/London, Running Press (1997) 127 pages. A pocket-sized, take-along reference book for the user's convenience. Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated, by Judith Martin, illustrated by Gloria Kanem, W.W. Norton & Co. (2005), 858 pages. New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette, by Letitia Baldrige, New York: Scribner, 2003, 709 pages. Town & Country Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social Graces, by Thomas P. Farley, Hearst Books (September 2005), ISBN 1-58816-454-3, 256 pages. Manners That Sell: Adding the Polish that Builds Profits, by Lydia Ramsey, Longfellow Press (2007), 188 pages.