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Jessica Prez English 1102 Professor Campbell 28 March 2013 A Childhood of Silence: Technology Affecting the way Children Communicate "Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other." -C.P. Snow Imagine a childhood filled with creating structures in the forest, spending time in a tree house telling your friends secrets and playing hide and seek until the sun went down in your neighborhood. These are all moments that characterized my childhood. As a child, I was not exposed to as much technology as most children are today, and for that I am thankful. People all over the world are consumed by technology. Everywhere you turn there is someone who is distracted by the gadgets that are connecting them to a virtual world. The distressing fact is that the users of this technology are getting younger and younger everyday. The overwhelming amount of technology use by children is affecting the way they interact socially with other people. Children are becoming unable to interact well with others because so much of the communication today is done through technology and the use of technology gives the feeling of being connected, even if they are alone. Remember a time when letters were the way people communicated with one another? I didnt think so. Today, there are many more effective methods to communicate with people. Telephones and computers have taken over the job of the pen and paper and there is no real need to buy postage stamps to get messages sent. The most effective tool to

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any human being trying to connect to others is the smart phone: A phone that is basically a portable computer in the palm of your hands. The smart phones connect their users to the Internet and give them access to information on almost anything in the world. But, is this connection to information something that we want our children access to from an early age? There was a time when children did not need phones, yet society has felt the need to expand the market and target the younger children. A phone can act as a sort of babysitter to control the kids and keep them from bothering their parents in various situations. According to Valarie Strauss a writer for the Washington Post, Its so easy for parents to reach for phones as the solution to a crying child and they are almost always successful in calming down the child. But is it interfering with the long term goals of helping children develop the social skills? (Strauss). The child is no longer going to express their emotions and how they feel. Instead, they are distracting themselves and forgetting about the reality of the situation. If a child is not able to learn to express what they feel from an early age, they will not have the skills and experiences necessary to deal with their feelings and relationships later on in life (Strauss). Childhood is a time of learning, not just in schools, but about how to handle situations and how to react around people. Children need to experience strong and trusting relationships in order to have successful relationships as they grow older. Jeffrey G. Parker, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Alabama, said: These good, close relationships we cant allow them to wilt away. They are essential to allowing kids to develop poise and allowing kids to play with their emotions, express emotions, all the functions of support that go with adult relationships (Price).

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Expressing emotions is not the only way that children are learning important skills for communication. Another way is by carrying on a normal conversation. It may seem a bit ridiculous, to think that children do not do this on a normal basis, but the truth of the matter is that it is starting to become uncommontaboo. Instead of talking face to face with someone, they spend time chatting on social networking sites. This does not allow for physical interaction, which is a very important aspect of communication. Hand gestures, facial expressions and tone of voice all help create an interesting conversation. Technology does have a way that it copes for the lack of emotion. There are many different pictures that are used to depict what the person is doing. One of the most popular forms being called emojis. They have many different pictures of everything from thumbs up signs to flags from different countries, to animals and food. Emojis seem to make texting seem more interactive (I Heart Emoji). Although technology tries to make up for aspects of conversation, they cannot be replaced. There is a form of courtesy that is shown while carrying on a conversation that is only necessary while being face to face with another person. While texting, you could be doing anything, cooking, watching T.V. or even driving. The other person will not be offended that you are not giving them all of your attention because they are not their to witness your actions. But, if you are sitting in a room and having a conversation with someone, it would be considered rude to be doing something else while they are speaking to you. Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert, says Were developing a new set of rules as we go along but the thing about it, theres still a core value that exists that, in my opinion, I think people are missing and that core value is to respect other people. Thats one of what I call my three core values of etiquette, is respect and consideration for others (Cavanaugh).
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So even though technology is changing the way we converse, we should still maintain a set of values that will still show etiquette while carrying on in conversation. Being a student, I can see the lack of courtesy that young people in my classes have when carrying on in a conversation with professors. They ask a question, and yet do not have the manners to pay attention to the response they are given. There are all kinds of relationships that humans experience in life. Children need to start from an early age to develop the skill that will strengthen relationships with other humans, one of the most important being communication. The question on researchers minds is whether all that texting, instant messaging and online social networking allows children to become more connected and supportive of their friends or whether the quality of their interactions is being diminished without the intimacy and emotional give and take of regular, extended face-to-face time, writes Stout (Stout). They may feel that by talking to friends through text or chat they are creating strong relationships, but the truth of the matter is that speaking in person is much more different. Much of what is said through text now a days is not meaningful or contributing to creating a long lasting and strong relationship. As I write this paper, I am on Ttwitter, Instagram and Facebook. I feel connected to other people, as I carry on various conversations with friends and followers, some which I have never met in real life, yet I am sitting alone in my room. Is this the way we want our children to grow up, living life thinking that they are connected to someone who is not with them physically? This brings up another aspect of life that technology is affecting in children is a feeling of being with other people, while being completely alone in space. In a recent New York Times article, Sherry Turkle, the founder of an online dating site summed up the problem of his generation by saying that, People in the 21st century
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are alone. We have so many new ways of communicating, yet we are so alone (qtd. in Price). It is necessary for humans to spend time alone because it allows for self-assessment. It gives a person the opportunity to look at their life and make changes when necessary. A child needs to understand that time alone can be a beneficial way to cope with certain problems in their lives. Anne S. Epstein, author of the Journal How Planning and Reflection Develop Young Children's Thinking Skills says, They (thinking abilities) are the foundation upon which children learn to make decisions, regulate their own behavior, meet complex challenges, and take responsibility for their actions (Epstein). All of these aspects that come by learning to reflect are quality characteristics that will help create a stronger society in the future. Technology is a distracting factor that does not allow for a person, especially a child who is already easily distracted, to be alone in their thoughts. People fear the thought of loneliness, so they have turned to technology to escape from this possibility. But are we really not just as lonely? When children start to use social networking sites and other forms of technology on a constant basis, some of their actions begin to change. Many children begin to lock themselves in their rooms instead of interacting with their family members. One example of many is Laura Shumaker, a mother of three sons in the Bay Area suburbs, who noticed recently that her 17-year-old son, John, was keeping up with friends so much on Facebook that he has become more withdrawn and skittish about face-to-face interactions (qtd. in Stout). Another thing that technology does to, not only children, but to anyone using them, is that takes them out of the present moment. As a college tennis player, oOne of ourthe team rules that my coach, Michaela Gorman, has established for our tennis team is no use of
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technology at team dinners, practice or matches, and whenever we happen to be around her. At first it was difficult for me to do so because I was like most other people, whose phone was just an extension of my hand. But my coach said it best when she said: By being on your phone, you do not allow yourself to be a part of the present and happening moment or the people you are around.(Gorman). Children need to experience focusing on what is going on around them. This would give them the ability to create memories and not just high scores. Henry David Theoreau said: Men have become the tools of their tools. In other words, we are on the path to being controlled by the very things we made to aid us in various aspects of life. In order to make sure that this does not happen, we must ask ourselves: what needs to be done to ensure the safety of our children and future generations to come? The most efficient way is by only allowing an allotted time for them to spend on technological devices. Think about it. Children are now almost always completely surrounded by technology. T.V., radio, cell phones, computers, and yet they have not developed efficient time management skills or have the self-discipline to realize when it is time to stop. This is where the parents or guardians take charge and enforce rules to help discipline the use of technology by the children. ChildrenThey need the guidance of someone because they are still learning everyday. By teaching this to children early on, they will be able to create a society that does not feel the need to constantly be consumed by technology. A study made by Casio PhoneMate shows that Americans spend more than 30 minutes daily for checking messages as compared to approximate 40 minutes weekly for an important conversation with their children (Costin 63). Imagine the impact that thirty minutes of quality conversation everyday would have on a child. Reflecting on

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their day, releasing emotions, and practicing conversational courtesies on a consistent basis would lead to a healthy future for children. They will grow up and realize that their childhood was full of reflection and activities that occurred in the real world and not just on a screen. Times have changed. We no longer live in an era filled with constant human interaction. Instead, this has been replaced with a whole new world of communication created by technology. Only time will tell the effects of the way in which humans have immersed their lives in technology. Children growing up today will be affected more so than previous generations because they have not been exposed to the earlier forms of communication. Children are loosing the ability to interact well with others because so much of the communication today is done through technology and the use of technology gives the user a feeling of being connected, even when alone. The world we live in today should make an effort to keep certain methods of communication alive for the sake of younger generations. Although they may seem inefficient, they developed skills that can only be practiced through traditional methods of communication between the human race.

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Works Cited Cavanaugh, Maureen, and Renee Villasenor. "How Technology Affects Etiquette And Social Interaction." How Technology Affects Etiquette And Social Interaction. N.p., 12 Jan. 2010. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. Costin, Alina-Maria. "Technology - Socializing Factor For Individual." Petroleum - Gas University Of Ploiesti Bulletin, Educational Sciences Series 62.1A (2010): 56-64. Academic Search Complete. Web. 12 Mar. 2013. Epstein, Anne S. "How Planning and Reflection Develop Young Children's Thinking Skills." N.p., Sept.-Oct. 2003. Web. 24 Apr. 2013. Gorman, Michaela. Interview. 9 Feb. 2013 "I Heart Emoji." The New Yorker. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Apr. 2013. Price, Michael. "Alone in the Crowd." Alone in the Crowd. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Mar. 2013. Stout, Hilary. "Antisocial Networking?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 02 May 2010. Web. 26 Feb. 2013. Strauss, Valerie. "Is Technology Sapping Childrens Creativity?" Washington Post. Washington Post, 12 Sept. 2012. Web. 17 Feb. 2013.. The
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