Kristen Jackson 2/14/13 Artifact 2 Conversations with Rhea, Mitchell, Ike, & Timmy Immediately following distributing the

e first survey to my students, I realized I had opened a can of worms. Several of my students who I have formed personal relationships with began, on their own, ranking themselves and their performance in my classroom. This began on 12/4/2012, when a student, Rhea, came up to me after class and said, I think I was a 5 today, but I want to be at least a 7 everyday. I asked her what she meant, and she said that she could have not talked as much, and could have done the work more. I was shocked, because I hadnt asked her and didnt really think her behavior/effort was poor on that particular day. I realized, however, in that moment, that I was slowly encouraging my students to become self-aware. Through their own analysis of themselves, they were slowly acknowledging their behavior as well as how it contributed to their understanding of the lesson that day. This is what ultimately contributed to me revising my question. Initially, I really wanted to evaluate over time how I was able to motivate students, especially Rhea, who has some good days, but on days that she does not believe she is smart enough to complete the activity, often gives up. I cannot say for sure if she has made significant progress, but ever since that first conversation, she often comes up to me and tells me what she thinks her progress and behavior was today. Another student in my class, Mitchell, is extremely capable of completing the work, but very often will simply check out of class and stop paying attention. However, when I come up to him to ask him how hes doing, he often says he has no idea what to do or doesnt understand. I will inevitably ask him if he was listening and he always says yes. At first, I wondered if it was how I explained things. I realized, however, he just simply wasnt listening. This is fine, but he

will never admit to not listening: its always that I didnt explain it well. Thats always his excuse for why his work is not done and thus its my fault. One day after class, I finally asked him if he realizes how his grade is affected when he does not submit work. He exclaimed that its my fault because he asks for help and I do not give it to him. I asked him to think of the countless times I come over and explain things to him, walk him through the questions, and he finally said, no Im not listening, Ill try next time. That was the last conversation we had about it, but I struggle with this example. Mitchell is very bright, although he underperforms in almost every class. I have no idea why though, because he is so capable. I wondered if it was that things were not interesting, or if hes simply around people he likes talking to, or if its something else altogether. I have not answered it, but I continue to see myself leading him (and other students) toward my answer of their self-awareness, which I have not decided how I feel about it but I will continue to discuss it below. I have been blown away by the changes I have seen in my next student. In the beginning of the year, Ike was moody, temperamental, and often disengaged in class. I spoke with him frequently, attempting to assess his mood, and there were days where he participated but many more where he just didnt seem to care (well, thats what he said). I began taking over the class and received more resistance from Ike. The more I pushed, the more he seemed to close off from me. One day, I pulled him aside and talked to him about his performance, and expressed how his lack of turning in work has severely decreased his grade. A few weeks later, he came up to me and apologized. I asked him for what, and he said for being a poor student and disappointing me. I didnt mean to upset him, but he vowed he would do better. I havent had a day where Ive had to ask him to do work since, and he has been more than helpful, focused and engaged in class. Each day he comes in and says hes gonna give [me] 10 today. Its refreshing, but I still

wonder how much of this had to do with our conversations or his depreciating grade. However, the fact that he strives for a 10 and often notices and acknowledges when hes not on task and polices his peers helps me realize he is learning to be more self-aware. On 2/12/13, I approached Timmy after having a rough day in class with him. I had asked him several times to stop drawing and participate in class, but he was not disruptive and seemed to be following along after I asked him to participate. He told me that although he was behaving well, his effort was only like a 2. I asked him to explain further, and he told me that although he was completing the activity and stopped drawing when I asked, he was only mindlessly going along with the activity. When I asked if he felt he could do better, he said definitely, because when he looked at the activity at the end and tried to write in the exit slip something he learned, he realized he did not understand the activity. This was interesting to me, because I rarely get honest responses from Timmy when it comes to analyzing his behavior and effort. For the first time, I saw a glimpse of his ability to be self-aware. These three students in my class are often the ones I struggle with motivating, especially when they are having bad days. I get frustrated with myself, believing that it has something to do with me, and although I have remained reflective, I often wonder if they are aware of how their effort affects their understanding of a lesson. I struggle, however, now in my discussion, with the idea of self-awareness because what is it exactly? I want my students to accurately self-assess themselves, but that requires a right and wrong perception. When Mitchell tells me he was listening when I know he was not, is that a lack of self-awareness given that he lied? Or is it something altogether different. After discussing these 4 conversations with my inquiry group, and looking at the others that I will discuss in my next artifact, I realized that my definitions of self-assessment and self-awareness need to be altered. Is it fair for me to assess them on how

I think they behaved? What if their performance, in their eyes, was the best theyre capable of. This calls into question expectations of teachers, and their beliefs about their students capabilities. I will continue to adjust my definition to meet my students needs, but Im not sure how to rectify this bias. It was Schunk and Ertmer explanation of the benefits of self-assessment that propelled my probing. When they said that during periods of self-reflection, students evaluate their learning progress. Perceived progress sustains self-efficacy and motivation, which enhance learning (1999), I gained clarity into why I was pushing my students so hard. Without the ability to internally question what youre doing and why, students lose out on the benefit of being able to pat themselves on the back for making progress. Being able to note their own progress allows them, as Desuatel argues, to reflect on their progress and take consolation in the fact that they are in fact progressing and growing. There was a period that I considered changing my inquiry focus because it was inherently non-academic in nature. I wasnt looking at the direct academic benefits for students, but having looked into the research, I have realized how much my students stand to gain from acquiring more reflective practices.