Kaitlyn Spangler ENGL 138T *Editorial of Runners World Cake is for Celebration, and Runners Celebrate Often Runners

are obsessed with lines: white lines on the edge of a road, lines that define a narrow, wooded trail, lanes painted on an oval track, and the finish line that we strain every muscle to cross. Yet, there is a line unseen to the naked eye, a threshold that many runners surpass unknowingly: the difference between eating a fulfilling diet and running on empty. The mental intensity we must exhibit can infiltrate and infect our diet, and this perception is often too critical for our own wellbeing. I was not always of the runner persuasion. In high school, I prided myself on being a double athlete of field hockey and soccer, filling out my jeans with thick thighs and solid glutes. I ate what I wanted when I wanted it and considered nutrition labels a foreign language. Along with womanhood, however, came fluctuating hormones, a less resilient metabolism, and increased pressure to look like a Victorias Secret model. I started to store a little extra fat, and after a few comments from my nutritionist-minded mother, I decided to take my health into my own hands. So, I began running. Beyond my sports practices, I ran with no concept of pace; it was simply to burn calories and tone up. Seemingly harmless, I began to supplement this extra running with a closer watch on my diet: more salads, less carbs, and minimal sweets. Then, I continued to eliminate; it was easy. No eating past six, no bread, no butter, no egg yolks, no salad dressing, no snacks, no celebratory piece of cake, no mercy. Nothing without a calorie count, even after running ten miles in the summer heat or winter chill. The feeling of an empty stomach became pleasing, and my diet became a game: how can I trick my mind into thinking I am eating more than I am, while practically running long enough to burn off most of my days calories? I learned quickly: twenty pounds gone in two months. At nearly 58, I dropped from a

hearty 147 to a shockingly slender 127 and simultaneously joined the ranks of athletes with disordered eating. What a feat. Not only was this a rookie mistake, this was a stupid, harmful, and surprisingly common occurrence. In fact, 55% of all collegiate athletes experience pressure to be a certain ideal weight, in which one third of all female college athletes have some type of disordered eating. Be it strict calorie counting, good/bad food perceptions, dissatisfactions with the body, or full-blown eating disorders, runners are highest among the sports at the most risk of developing these negative and harmful habits (among gymnasts, wrestlers, ballet dancers, and swimmers). This sport is geared for speed, and thus, to achieve peak performance, we must eliminate all body fat and equate thinness with success a slippery slope, indeed. Somewhere along the way, weight loss became the direct factor between improvement or failure, between greatness or mediocrity, and between winning and losing. Thus, with each calorie cut and dietary restriction, we become seconds, if not minutes, closer to a more impressive PR; We become real winners . . . right? Nearly a year and a half has passed since the scale read 127; a lot has changed. With a full cross country season, a few 5ks, and one half marathon under my belt, I am a proud member of Penn States Club Cross Country Team. I run six days every week, reaching 50-mile weeks at peak training. I am also a solid thirteen pounds heavier, weighing in at a steady 140 pounds. The math doesnt seem to add up: running consistently + running fast + running long = pack on the pounds. Despite hypothetical arithmetic, though, in those thirteen pounds, I hold something very dear to me. Hundreds of miles, hundreds of meals, and hundreds of smiles later, in those thirteen pounds, there lies a new self unafraid of eating butter, bread, or other fats, conditioned with the daily struggles of long-distance running, and illuminated with the joy of

being all that is me. Although I have had positive emotional support from friends and family, learned much more about wholesome nutrition, and have become a member of a great team, the most powerful factor I have changed is the way I think. About food, about my body, and about life. Food can be a major source of anxiety. I had to plan out what I was eating, when I was eating it, and if anything or anyone messed with the schedule, enter Monster Kaitlyn. Well, not anymore. I realized after recognizing my unhealthy ways that food was no longer pleasurable to eat or even be around. As with the trends and patterns of dieting and weight loss, foods have been compartmentalized into the good kinds versus the bad. Inside the dieters head (as with mine), a list is formed that permits or prohibits certain foods to cross their lips in order to preserve optimal health and fitness. This list can grow to extreme lengths and restrictions, reaching the point of obsession and irrationality. And along that path of food restrictions and classifications, the primitive joy of food is lost. A dinner at a friends or a slice of warm apple pie can no longer represent warmth and comfort, but instead, it is a plate of unknown ingredients and immeasurable calories. Whether you casually run three days a week or are training for a marathon, it is no secret that runners have greater nutritional demands than the average human. From varying caloric needs to higher nutrient demands, it is important to be aware of the nutritional value of your diet. Food takes on the role of fuel- for a long run, a tempo run, an early morning workout, or a lunch break jog down the road. This does not mean, however, that fuel should be restricted or eaten with hesitation and angst. That little voice in your head will begin to fear certain foods deemed unhealthy and only willingly accept foods that will not slow you down. Desserts and other fatty, calorie-dense dishes will become associated with guilt and weakness, in which only the

strong-minded can resist (a.k.a. true winners). Except, if this is the way to view food when youre burning, say, 1,000 calories on a run, as in my case, when will you ever feel it acceptable to treat yourself? Your daily diet becomes a ticking time bomb until you simply cannot handle the pressure anymore, breaking it by binging on unhealthy foods and convincing yourself of failure. I have not gained weight from gorging on sweets, nor have I started eating a half-pound cheeseburger everyday. I do not douse my vegetables in butter, nor do I grab five cookies for a snack. Most importantly, I have not relinquished my desire to eat nutritiously. Instead, I gained thirteen pounds of good, home-cooked meals, of whole grain pasta and fresh, green spinach. I have gained this weight in hearty dinners with my boyfriend on a weekend out or prepared by a friends parents with overwhelming generosity. Even with my fairly recent decision to follow a vegetarian diet, I have gained this weight with the best of intentions. My mind has transformed to view food in its most beautiful form: a means of bringing people together, a colorful array of hard work, and a tasty nourishment for my days travails. Quantity and serving size got put on the back burner when my daily caloric needs started reaching near 3,000 a day, and I began to do away with the negative mental associations of unhealthy foods. Who knows if I would beat my PR without the weight I put on; frankly, I do not care. Life is too short to care. I never would have lasted in this sport with that restrictive attitude toward food. I am no longer afraid of ravenous hunger after 13-milers because I will nourish myself until satisfied. Nothing is off limits. As my running intensified, food developed a personality beyond its caloric content. I am able to sit and enjoy a meal without worrying or entering it into a calorie counter; I am more accepting to spontaneous ice cream runs or nine

oclock dinners. I know that cake represents celebration with the company of friends and family, not self-punishment and regret. And I just placed third at my NIRCA Nationals Half Marathon event. I would say things are working out great, even if my thighs touch and I am not a size two. How does this relate to you? Well, for those who eat, concern for their health, and enjoy physical activity, this message may apply. Life is too short to obsess over what enters your digestive system, what will get stored as fat, or what will make you a slower runner. These biological factors play a small part if mental positivity can override it. Yes, you should respect your body; yes, you should be aware of what youre eating. But never should you take the mere pleasure and enjoyment out of food, for it will nourish you, strengthen you, comfort you, and unite you with fellow humans. And with this attitude, however you look on the outside will reflect the beautiful spirit within; this is your true beauty. Go enjoy a fresh salad, a warm cup of soup, freshly toasted bread, or a sizzling omelet. Go celebrate with cake. Love every bite, and run happy, my friends.

Works Cited Amie. "Psych Your Mind: Good Food, Bad Food: The Psychology of Nutrition." Psych Your Mind: Good Food, Bad Food: The Psychology of Nutrition. N.p., 17 Oct. 2011. Web. 17 Apr. 2013. http://psych-your-mind.blogspot.com/2011/10/good-food-bad-foodpsychology-of.html

Daniloff, Caleb. "Running on Empty." Runner's World & Running Times. Runner's World, 26 Jan. 2012. Web. 17 Apr. 2013. http://www.runnersworld.com/health/running-empty

"The World's Most Comprehensive Eating Disorder Referral and Information Website." The World's Most Comprehensive Eating Disorder Referral and Information Website. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Apr. 2013. http://www.edreferral.com/Articles/athletes_and_ed.htm