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Avoiding negative body language

You can tell a lot from a persons body language. In the right conditions, you can tell if
someone is sad, shy, angry, tired, bored or even interested.

Some body language is automatic, and nearly impossible to control. If something is very
funny, it is hard to stop at least a smile from crossing your face. Other body language is easy
to control if you are aware of it. Try to be aware of the following examples of body language
when you are on your next date.

• Eye contact. Make sure that you are not avoiding eye contact. Try to look people in
the eyes when you are greeting, listening or talking to them.
• Speak clearly. If you are tired or a bit shy, you can start to mumble. Try to think what
you are going to say and then say it clearly.
• Relax. Try to avoid drumming your fingers, excessively scratching, fiddling with
items in your pocket and always looking around the room. This makes you look like
you are not enjoying yourself.
• Posture. Stand tall and proud. If you do not feel confident about yourself and what
you are saying, why should anyone else?
• Use your hands. Hands and gestures are a great tool to help you explain yourself and
communicate. Evasive or secretive people do not tend to show their hands as much.
• Maintain non-defensive body language. Actions like folding your arms across your
chest when the room is not cold, and having your body facing towards a door can be
seen as defensive body language. Try to avoid this.
• Keep your hands away from your face. Resting your head on your hands makes you
look bored and rubbing your nose, ears, eyes, neck or head has been shown to indicate
• Use facial expressions. Try to vary your facial expressions a bit to make her aware
that you are listening to her. Also be careful you do not stop blinking when you gaze
into her eyes.

Four negative body language signs

When you are trying to impress a lady, there are some things that have less effect than most
guys think:

• How you carry yourself

• How you project your thoughts
• How you are feeling

These 3 things are thought to be the best way things to work on if you want to impress a lady.
The solution is a bit more simple than that.

Women are attracted to men who can handle things by themselves and are not needy.

By seeming to be needy, you are effectively turning women off you straight away. Even if
you highly valued in the social circles, being needy is disastrous and can give off a vibe that
is incongruent and strange.
The first step you need to take to attract a woman is to eradicate all traces of
neediness and negative mannerisms and then work on adopting the correct body
language signs. Just by eliminating the four negative body language signs,
your ability attract a woman feels increases exponentially.


Nervousness is a sign that you are not comfortable with the current situation, and are not in
this situation very often. If you are on a date, she may start to think that you do not go on
dates very often. There are many simple body cues to this like:

• Fidgeting around nervously

• Moving your body, hands, and head too fast

The type of signals that you want to give off are:

• Being totally relaxed

• Relaxed shoulder
• Relaxed movements
• Relaxed thinking
• Slower movements

So starting right now:

• Slow down all your movements to at least half speed

• Nervousness can be felt in your voice, so slow down your rate of speech
• Not slow motion, but rather a speed that shows you are in no hurry to get
your point across

Showing Off & Trying Way Too Hard

Women don't like men who take themselves too seriously. Men who don't laugh, smile, or
who aren't fun typically don't get laid. You do not want to give or seem:

• Too business like…

• Too sophisticated….
• Too restricted…
• Answers to questions that are long and come across as too scientific… a
total turn off.

All that these signals do is show her that you lack social skill and are trying to hard to
impress her. Leave all sense of seriousness at home and remember, you are going out to
socialize and have a good time, not to show off.

Eagerness / Puppy Dog Syndrome

• How many guys have you seen eagerly waiting for a woman when she
says she's going to the bathroom?
• How many guys have you seen going after a woman after she walks away
from him?
• How many times have you found yourself eagerly answering her questions
as soon as she asks them, or telling her all kinds of things about yourself…
essentially giving her your resume before you have to?

This is the dreaded puppy dog syndrome that makes a guy seem too eager. The problem with
this is that it does do give the woman any challenge at all. Think back to how many times you
were talking with a woman and got interrupted, only to go back to the same topic at the first
chance you get?

It is like wanting to connect with someone who really hasn't earned it yet.

• Why the eagerness?

• Why the desperation?

Next time you’re talking with a woman, check your non-verbal communication.

• Are you totally facing her with your body before you should?
• Are you eagerly leaning into her space, and not leaning back, relaxed?
• Are you nervously telling a joke and laughing first before she gets a
chance to process it?

If you are, recompose yourself and get back in the correct mindset.

Imagined Inferiority

Your unconscious beliefs about who you are and what you deserve in life instantly come
across to a woman on an unconscious level. Feelings of inferiority can be seen in anything…

• from being obnoxious on the opener,

• to approaching when you know it is impossible to get her given the
• to acting rude or mean if they snub or reject you.

Men with inferiority complexes give too many explanations and excuses for their behaviours,
words, and even situations in life… like outright saying something like, "I used to have lots
of money… but my business was not doing well… now I work at a food mart. Really, I've
realized that money is not the most important thing."

Or if they're short, they say stuff like, "Don't you find short men sexy?"

It is overcompensating because somehow you feel inferior or insecure. Don't make it an issue
out of these or even bring them up. The same thing goes for excuse, if you are not in a
talkative mood (why are you going out then), don't say that you’re usually a talker. If you're
tired, don't SAY you’re tired.

Another manifestation of an inferiority complex is not turning your back on a woman and
talking to another woman or walking away, when she does something to you that you
wouldn't accept from another guy, or some obese woman.

Next time you go out, watch yourself and make sure you are not giving excuses for yourself.
These four adjustments to your non-verbal communication will improve your performance
instantly. By working on these areas, you can relax while sequencing her through states
without worrying about her cutting off the interaction prematurely by sensing your neediness
and desperation.