illah> Maimi: She had woken up quite late despite setting her alarm for nine in the morning.

It was about noon when she woke up, in a daze, feeling the usual gray, dull, heaviness on her chest. Leisurely eating breakfast and watching television instead of attending to her homework, she suddenly remembered she was going to meet with him today. Crap, can I get out of it somehow? Chewing on a granola bar, she felt less than enthusiastic to go meet Daisuke. Looking away from the television screen, she let out a sigh and got up to fetch her cellphone, the granola bar hanging out of her mouth while she typed on the touchpad: Text to Gyuzu: Hey...sorry, I almost forgot. Are you still good for today? Anxiety gripped her as she thought back to their last encounter...I have to apologize at least. After all, it would probably bother her less once it was out of the way, she mused. Tossing her slippers off her feet, she sunk onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. What am I doing... 10:42:48 PM<chazillah>eternarogue: ]] 10:43:16 PM** sighlolhas joined

10:55:53 PM<eternarogue>

Daisuke: Even though he was supposed to be working today, Gyuzu was at home, lounging about with his kitten. His new boss had to close shop for the weekend due to some issues with his adopted son, so Gyuzu had found his weekend painfully free. He hated it, hated having free time. He was too used to keeping himself occupied. "That's just a form of running away, Gushiken-san. you can't run from your problems forever." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair as he grudgingly remembered the words of the woman who had spoken to him at the host club. She was right... dammit.

He heard his phone buzz its little message ringtone and scooped Lisa Lisa off of his stomach. "I gotta get that, sweetheart..." He glanced at the message and frowned; was he supposed to meet Maimi or something? Oh wait... Gyuzu cringed and made a face. Oh. He'd kept himself so busy with the arrangements at school and his new job that he'd forgotten all about Maimi's request on Twitter. He still felt as if... well, he wasn't exactly optimistic about meeting up with her again. Running away from yet another problem, that's what Gyuzu seemed to do best these days.And yet, he looked over to the small parcel on his dresser, biting his lip.

Text to Maimi: Don't worry about it, I nearly forgot too. We can meet up whenever you're ready. @chazillah 11:11:53 PM<chazillah>parcel..]] 11:11:55 PM<chazillah>...]] 11:11:59 PM<chazillah>sdkbg i missed gyuzu]] 11:12:42 PM<eternarogue>Ssssh}} 11:12:54 PM<sighlol>secretly watches )) 11:13:00 PM<eternarogue>He's still the same doof as ever}} 11:13:09 PM<eternarogue>I SEE YOU THERE SIGH <><>}} 11:13:35 PM<sighlol>i am an illusion ))

11:19:28 PM<chazillah>

Maimi: She didn't pick up her phone right away to respond, her body unwilling to move. How easy it would be to just cancel and ignore everything that had happened between them! The easy way out...it was always desirable, always tempting. After all, the opportunity to use him as a means to see her family again was probably gone by now (not that she would admit to herself that these were her only motives). I wasn't using him...no, I wasn't... She closed her eyes and reminisced on his gentle and oblivious personality. Perhaps, at least, attempting to repair the friendship would be worth it... Reaching for her phone, she finally texted him back after ten minutes: Text to Gyuzu: Okay, meet you at the KameKame cafe in thirty minutes?

She could have met sooner, but everything was a chore. Brushing her teeth, changing her clothes...it all felt laborious. Her reflection in the mirror was gray, drained and exhausted-looking. Mio's makeup in reach, she quickly used concealer under her eyes and a dash of mascara to try to look more awake. She was soon out the door and walking wearily towards the cafe in her casual clothing. [doing a little time skip so we can get there ;y @ eternarogue ] 11:35:08 PM** NeonRemixhas left [connection closed] 11:35:20 PM<eternarogue> Daisuke: Text to Maimi: Sure, see you then.

Though he had sent that message, Gyuzu took 45 minutes. He had an excuse for being late... but he was also stalling, taking his time, being a flake. When had things become so awkward and painful between the two of them? Kishi-chibi's party, apparently, he thought to himself with a scowl, tugging at his hat. He shifted the gift bag from one hand to the other as he opened the door and strode into the cafe. He hesitated there at the door, looking around almost warily for Maimi. It felt like high school all over again, where he'd made a girl cry because he'd lashed out at her for teasing his kouhai. Even though his intentions had been good, he had looked like some monster to the rest of the girls in their class, and he had to be the one to apologize... Just like now. Sometimes he felt like he only ever made younger girls cry. It was pretty pathetic. @chazillah 11:35:38 PM** 3896has left [timed out] 11:51:55 PM<chazillah> Maimi: She was already at the cafe fifteen minutes before he arrived, contemplating whether or not she should leave. It hurt her esteem to realize that he might not show up, but she didn't bother sending a text, either. I'll give it another five minutes... she let out a sigh and ended up ordering some hot tea before sitting back down with it, staring out the window at the people passing for a distraction. Mind numbed by the task of observing people and sipping on her tea, she didn't even realize Gyuzu had walked in when he did... 11:52:00 PM<chazillah>sry its short what]] 11:52:06 PM<chazillah>scerams ]] 12:06:50 AM<eternarogue> Daisuke: Gyuzu spotted Maimi's familiar face and sighed. Well, it's too late to turn back now. No running away from this. She looked... just as reluctant to even be there as he did. A mixture of guilt and pain hit him; he'd probably never be able to fix things the way they'd been before. But... perhaps that was for the best. He had to change, and wishing for the past wasn't going to help the situation any. He'd just have to do his best and if Maimi wanted nothing to do with him, he'd send her off with his blessing. Taking one last deep breath, Gyuzu made his way to Maimi's table and cleared his throat. "Er, Fujiwara-san, I'm sorry I'm late. I was trying to bake something as fast as I could and, well..." He set down the bag on the table and nudged it towards her. "I, uh, heard it was your birthday recently. So Happy Belated Birthday. I hope you don't mind marble cake; I didn't know what you liked. And, er, there's a gift at the bottom." @chazillah 12:24:34 AM<chazillah>SCREAMS]] 12:24:35 AM<chazillah>OMG]] 12:24:43 AM<chazillah>adfkjbgaskjbdfkbjasfd]] 12:24:50 AM<chazillah>gyuzu is a kawaii ;-; ]] 12:24:57 AM<eternarogue>put the link to the cake and gift in the ooc chat}} 12:25:12 AM<chazillah>i dont mind if u link it here on ur next post! one sec]] 12:25:12 AM<eternarogue>Gyuzu's a butt plug shoosh}} 12:30:32 AM<chazillah> Maimi: She barely moved at the sound of his voice, and once she registered it she flinched slightly, as though she had forgotten they were meeting, "Oh, Gushiken-san, yeah..don't worry," she could hardly smile her usual smile, listening to him instead. Eyeing the bag, she suddenly felt flustered, "What? You didn't have to, I..." she tightened her lips, "Thanks...but..." her voice trailed off.I'm the one who's supposed to be apologizing! What is he doing!? Her hands trembled as she put them over the box, throat clenching. It was as though the entire purpose of seeing him had backfired on her; there he was again, supportive, forgiving and kind...when she probably least deserved it. In a quiet voice, she tried to continue speaking. But it was too difficult to do and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them with the sleeve of her hoodie, "I...wanted to apologize though...you shouldn't have done anything...like...this..." she stared down at the gift with blurry eyes, hardly able to make out what was at the bottom of the bag. (@eternarogue) 12:33:48 AM** Betachanhas left [connection closed]

12:43:49 AM<eternarogue>{{Cake: [link]

Gift: [link] }} Daisuke: Gyuzu frowned at her tears and roughly rubbed the back of his neck. He sat down across from her, shaking his head subconsciously at her words.

"I guess we both feel the need to apologize. I, uh, I know - well I don't really know because I don't remember much, but Keiji told me what I told him... Well anyway, I guess I blew up at you and I'm sorry for that." He held up a hand because he had a feeling she would protest. "Let me get this out of the way before you argue. I really am sorry about how I acted towards you. I shouldn't have lashed out like that, even if I was drunk, and even if you think I was justified or not or whatever. You're my friend, and you deserve better. I... I know I don't know your problems and you have every reason not to want to tell me what's wrong, but that doesn't mean I don't care or worry about you. Maybe I can't fix what's wrong in your life; hell, maybe I make things worse by being nosy, but I'm going to keep trying anyway because I honestly do think you're a nice person who deserves to be happy. But that's why I got you that gift." He motioned towards the cutely decorated diary in the bag. "Even if you never want to talk to me again, I hope you use that to get your feelings out. You shouldn't bottle everything up, Fujiwara-san. You should be smiling and happy, y'know?" He shrugged and shifted awkwardly in his seat. "I, uh, I guess... that's what I wanted to say... or something." @chazillah 12:49:25 AM<chazillah>ofdbgaksgdfkjbgkabjsfdbjka ;___; ]] 12:49:33 AM<chazillah>OHHHHHHH]] 12:49:36 AM<chazillah>THATS WHAT YOU MEANT]] 12:49:43 AM<chazillah>THAT YOU PUT THEM IN THE CHAT HAHA sry omg]] 12:50:33 AM<chazillah>OMG ]] 12:50:34 AM<chazillah>WHAT A CUTIE]] 12:50:37 AM<chazillah>wow]] 12:50:38 AM<chazillah>sadfbg]] 01:11:48 AM<chazillah> Maimi: She was about to protest, opening her mouth to do so, but instead sat and listened to him. Her face burned with shame and some remorse that he was taking the burden of guilt. And then he went about complimenting her once more, re-assuring her that she deserved everything he said and did. Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, she held herself back from arguing against what he was saying. After all, implying that she didn't deserve it might make him suspicious of her. A terrible image of her conversation with Takahiro in the hospital room made her anxious once again. There are people who know...I have to be careful... Her eyes couldn't lift up towards him while he spoke, and instead she stared dumbly at the diary and cakes, "...Of course I want to talk to you," she murmured quietly, "You're too thoughtful, Gushikensan." Her eyes welled up again, perhaps with guilt if anything, but she suppressed it and leaned back into the chair, "I've been so upset since...all of that happened. But even if you were drunk--" she paused, hesitating to argue with his noble deed of taking the blame, "I mean, I know you think it's your fault, but Im not faultless in what happened, you know she tried to smile up towards him, "But you aren't making things worse. You never do. She tensed before adding the next part, You're. really the...the greatest friend I could ask for, Gushiken-san. Thank you--" her smile relaxed a little and she met eyes with him, "Thank you for being patient and understanding. I would be really upset to lose you as a friend. She felt flustered, Not that Ive known you that long ---I just mean, wellum, I think I...I owe you, haha..." she glanced towards the cashier a little awkwardly, "Do you want a coffee or something?" Daisuke: He frowned in irritation at her words. It was like hearing Keiji or Maikos awkward attempts at comforting all over again; words that meant well but only came across as insulting, almost hurtful. I never said you were faultless, Fujiwara-san. Im a grown man, and not as stupid or naive as everyone seems to think I am. Ive just already forgiven you for your part in what happened between us, thats all. I mean, what did you really do anyway, snap at me? Big whoop. You arent the first person whos done that, and I guarantee you wont be the last to snap at me in my life. So dont... Dont act all meek like that. Like Im broken glass or whatever. Gyuzu pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand and waved off Maimis offer with his other hand, then sat back in his chair, his shoulders drooping. Growing up, he had always thought qualities like patience, understanding, and thoughtfulness were good qualities; being nice was always something people were supposed to strive for to fit into society, right? Be a good person in this life and karma

will reward you in the next life as well. And yet he was constantly being treated like a freak, just for being himself. He was too nice, he was too kind, he would definitely be taken advantage of, and so on. He just wanted to scream already.

I... I get it. I get what the problem with me is, I mean. You say Im the greatest friend in the world, but I think Im not. Im just a friend, Im just what a friends supposed to be. At least, thats what I believed, but its not quite right, is it? You and pretty much everyone else I know keep telling me how Im too damn nice and how Ill be taken advantage of and used and everyone tells me with such... such pity in their voices. Like Im defective. And everyone tries to cover up their pity by quickly saying things like oh but thats a good thing, its just so rare! or not that its a bad thing to be, its just that youre so different!. So when people say that Im nice or thoughtful or a great friend, it really boils down to me being a freak or foolish or a sucker.

His brow furrowed deeply, and Gyuzu scratched his jaw. I sort of didnt want to come here for that very reason, ne? I still cant help but... but hate that way of thinking. As if I dont voluntarily put myself out there to help people of my own damn free will, as if I should mind being taken advantage of. After talking with some friends, I was really considering becoming an asshole, somehow. But... He closed his eyes and smirked faintly, thinking back to Keiji and the women at the host club. But I dont mind so much anymore. If me being nice makes me a freak, then Ill be a freak. Im not gonna change who I am just to fit in, no matter what other people think. I just have to make changes in other parts of my life. And thats what Im doing now, with school and everything. Im gonna keep on caring for people too much and helping out however I can, because I choose to. And that includes you. Of course, if you still feel uncomfortable confiding in me as a friend, just wait five or six years and Ill have my license and degree. Then I can charge you for my time, if that makes you feel better.

Maimi: There was an empty discomfort in hearing him speak-- the frustrations he addressed was somewhat disheartening. But there was a hint of admiration in her eyes at the simultaneously---she yearned for a time that she could completely open up about herself to someone without any fears or consequences. And, of course, she was tense from him lecturing her to stop being so meek around him, but there was no way he would understand why she felt so at fault. Protesting it would be futile... Thoughts turning towards self-pity, hearing him be honest about himself and how he believed other people thought of him was almost painful for her. There is no way she could do the same...there was no way she ever would...life wasnt that simple, or so she told herself. Instead she cowered behind her reality that she felt powerless to change... And now, though most of her attention was self-absorbed, she wondered how he could feel so petty for being called nice. Did he really feel that she was somehow looking down on him? How could he take these compliments from other people and translate them into something so negative? She frowned at the thought that he ever thought it was better to be an asshole. Why would it be better?! ---but then it clicked, and she wondered if people like Kuro were the ones that discouraged these nice people...Kuro, who was somehow presented with so many opportunities and relationships, treated them like utter garbage, and still somehow had people trailing after him...she was always jealous of him...the very thought made her inwardly crumble. Not once in her life had she had people trailing after her, man or woman...she was always doing the chasing. Infatuated with the forbidden and reaching for the impossible...

And so self-pity once again settled in, and her sudden realization initiating her gaze to soften towards him. His resolve to continue being who he was gave her an overwhelming comfort; that Daisuke would remain Daisuke...and that, even if she couldnt allow herself to be as open as he was being before her, the mere fact that stated he cared meant more to her than he would ever know. There wasnt a moment in her life that she could remember hearing those words, aside from her family...but they were distant strangers now...

There was silence when he was done speaking. For a moment she looked away, as though processing everything he said, I would never want you to change, Gushiken-san. I..definitely wouldnt want to give you that impression either, Im sorry if I ever did. She began slowly, inhaling a breath before continuing, I think you...are overreacting on how people perceive you. I dont see you as a freak at all!! Her voice raised slightly and she turned towards him, I dont ever want you to think that, please. I---

Her throat tightened immensely at her sudden direction. After all, Daisuke admitted he cared for her, and he never once pushed her away with her implications in the past. Infatuation would surely fade over time...perhaps this time she would be reaching for the possible. She felt somewhat light headed at her doubts. No, impossible was in a similar coffee shop with Haruto. The long winded conversation towards her religious stance and passive aggressive remarks that she couldnt quite figure out. Gentleman, intelligent, and suave, yes...but there was no way she could find a connection, and admitting anything to him would result in failure. She was dead afraid of even making a move with him. But Gyuzu...was almost the opposite and always had been. It was possible, perhaps, yes --something had to be...there was a solution somewhere.

She just had to take another chance and keep taking them...but her head was still spinning and she couldnt bring her eyes towards him... --Gushiken-san, I know this seems sudden but... her hands clenched the edge of her chair, nails digging into the wood, ...Would you want to...date me-- she cut herself off abruptly, I mean, its just-- and then the words were lost and she felt somewhat ashamed. What was she doing? Was she really considering this after everything...she felt almost cruel for what she had even tried asking, --sorry, I dont know how to explain it, you can just forget I said anything. [jfc im so sorry]] {{Youre the devil hnsdkjas9id}} [[<3]]

Daisuke: Overreacting? she thought he was overreacting? He bristled slightly at the word, tried not to grimace too hard and show how irritated the accusation made him. How the hell would she know if he was overreacting or not anyway? Why the hell shouldnt he think that way, especially if it seemed every damn stranger on the street was giving him that same damn pitying look, using that same fake sympathetic tone, making the same damn excuses about how he was too this or that for his own good and hed only get used or hurt or was too immature or naive but its not a baaad thing Daisuke, its actually so aaaadmirable Daisuke in that same condescending tone every time? Even though few people said the word freak, enough treated him like one that he could hardly believe Maimis words. It was because he was so skeptical of her that Gyuzu showed no more reaction to Maimis stilted question than a slight furrow of his brow. Now he wished he had a cup of tea to brood over (or a drink, a drink would be a helluva lot better in this situation) . He ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, turned towards the window, frowned some more. Why would she even ask something like this now? She clearly wasnt interested in him. Was she? Of course not, idiot. So then why? Did she feel guilty or awkward over his coming clean to her, and now wanted to... what, make it up to him? Console him with a sympathy date? Just get him to shut up about the whole mess? His parents had always said he complained too much... Probably all a part of my immaturity, I guess. Ill just have to learn to b ottle everything up and keep to myself, just like everyone else. Who the fuck communicates anymore anyway? Gyuzu pinched the bridge of his nose and began tapping his heel rapidly for about ten seconds. Finally he stopped, sighed heavily again, and slumped down into his chair. Ive never thought about it Fujiwara-san, because youve never seemed interested in me and Ive never considered myself your type anyway, what with the more popular dating choice at every event it seems, his response was more tired than anything, but there was just a trace of bitterness to his voice as well, and Id have to wonder if you actually wanted to date me because you liked me or because you had some less than admirable reason, like pity or getting back at the jerk guy somehow or whatever, but... Yeah, Id date you. Of course I would, given the chance. Hell, even if... Gyuzu laughed, a sad, soft sound, and ran a hand through his hair again. Even if you were using me, Id date you. And Id probably fall for you too. And Id do my best to give you the world, and try to make you see the wonderful person I see in you every time we meet. And Id screw it up somehow, or put you off somehow by trying too hard, or being too immature, or... I dunno. And Id scare you away, and my heart would break, and Id regret none of it. I mean, Id blame myself and Id regret screwing up like I always do but I wouldnt regret dating you, yknow? I just... He shrugged, staring listlessly out the window. But its not gonna happen, right? Because you said to forget you even mentioned it, so I will. Why take the risk, ne? We can just pretend this day never even happened, if you want. Lets just go back to how it was in the beginning, you and me being hunky-dory friends who act like dumb drunks when we party together. How does that sound?

{{seppukus}}

GALACTIC PONCHES BOTH OF YOU DFJKGHDFKGHDFGLKFDGDGJFD -beta

[[ what the fuck i cant even wow eterna stop my fucking feels ]]