Chapter 1

Understanding Your Job as GUIDANCE COUNSELOR

A 'school counselor' is a counselor and an educator who works in elementary, middle, and high schools to provide academic, career, college access, and personal/social competencies to K-12 students. The interventions used include developmental school counseling curriculum lessons and annual planning for every student, and group and individual counseling. Older, dated terms for the profession were "guidance counselor" or "educational counselor" but "school counselor" is preferred due to professional school counselors' advocating for every child's academic, career, and personal/social success in every elementary, middle, and high school (ASCA, 2005).In the Americas, Africa, Asia, Europe, and the Pacific, the terms school counselor, school guidance counselor, and guidance teacher are also used with the traditional emphasis career development.Countries vary in how a school counseling program and school counseling program services are provided based on economics (funding for schools and school counseling programs), social capital (independent versus public schools), and School Counselor certification and credentialing movements in education departments, professional associations, and national and local legislation.The largest accreditation body for Counselor Education/School Counseling programs is the Council for the Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP).International Counselor Education programs are accredited through a CACREP affiliate, the International Registry of Counselor Education Programs (IRCEP) In some countries, school counseling is provided by educational specialists (for example, Botswana, China, Finland, Israel, Malta, Nigeria, Romania, Taiwan, Turkey, United States). In other cases, school counseling is provided by classroom teachers who either have such duties added to their typical teaching load or teach only a limited load that also includes school counseling activities (for example- India, Japan, Mexico, South Korea, Zambia). The IAEVG focuses primarily on career development with some international school counseling articles and conference presentations. In the Philippines, the Congress of the Philippines passed the Guidance and Counseling Act of 2004, with a very specific focus Professional Practice, Ethics, National Certification, and the creation of a Regulatory Body, and specialists in school counseling are subject to this law.

School counselor roles, school counseling program framework, professional associations, and ethics
Professional school counselors ideally implement school counseling program that promotes and enhances student achievement. A framework for appropriate and inappropriate school counselor responsibilities and roles is outlined in the ASCA National Model School counselors, in most USA states, usually have a Master's degree in school counseling from a Counselor Education graduate program. In Canada, they must be licensed teachers with additional school counseling training and focus on academic, career, and personal/social issues. China requires at least three years of college experience. In Japan, school counselors were added in the mid-1990s, part-time, primarily focused on behavioral issues. In Taiwan, they are often teachers with recent legislation requiring school counseling licensure focused on individual and group counseling for academic, career, and personal issues. In Korea, school counselors are mandated in middle and high schools. School counselors are employed in elementary, middle, and high schools, and in district supervisory settings and in counselor education faculty positions (usually with an earned Ph.D. in Counselor Education in the USA or related graduate doctorates abroad), and post-secondary settings doing academic, career, college readiness, and personal/social counseling, consultation, and program coordination. Their work includes a focus on developmental stages of student growth, including the needs, tasks, and student interests related to those stages(Schmidt, 2003). Professional school counselors meet the needs of student in three basic domains: academic development, career development, and personal/social development (Dahir & Campbell, 1997; ASCA, 2005) with an increased emphasis on college access Knowledge, understanding and skill in these domains are developed through classroom instruction, appraisalconsultation, counseling, coordination, and collaboration. For example, in appraisal, school counselors may use a variety of personality and career assessment methods (such as the[ or (based on the]) to help students explore career and college needs and interests. School counselor interventions include individual and group counseling for some students. For example, if a student's behavior is interfering with his or her achievement, the school counselor may observe that student in a class, provide consultation to teachers and other stakeholders to develop (with the student) a plan to address the behavioral issue(s), and then collaborate to implement and evaluate the plan. They also provide consultation services to family members such as college access, career development, parenting skills, study skills, child and adolescent development, and help with school-home transitions. School counselor interventions for all students include annual academic/career/college access planning K-12 and leading classroom developmental lessons on academic, career/college, and personal/social topics. The topics of character education, diversity and multiculturalism (Portman, 2009), and school safety are important areas of focus for school counselors. Often school counselors will coordinate outside groups that wish to help with student needs such as academics, or coordinate a program that teaches about child abuse or drugs, through on-stage drama (Schmidt,[ 2003). 2

School counselors develop, implement, and evaluate school counseling programs that deliver academic, career, college access, and personal/social competencies to all students in their schools. For example, the ASCA National Model includes the following four main areas:

Foundation - a written school counseling program mission statement, a beliefs and philosophy statement, and a focus on the ASCA standards and competencies and how they are implemented for every student; Delivery System - how lessons and individual and group counseling are delivered; Management System (use of calendars, time, building leader-school counselor role agreements, creation of action plans); and Accountability System - use of a School Counseling program audit, results reports, and school counselor performance evaluations based on 13 key competencies.

The model is implemented using key skills from the Education Trust's Transforming School Counseling Initiative: Advocacy, Leadership, Teaming and Collaboration, and Systemic Change. School Counselors around the world are affiliated with national and regional school counseling associations including: Asociacion Argentina de Counselors (AAC-Argentina), American Counseling Association (ACA-USA), African Counseling Association (AfCA), American School Counselor Association (ASCA-USA), Associacao Portuguesa de Psicoterapia centrada na Pessoa e de Counselling (APPCPC-Portugal), Australian Guidance and Counselling Association (AGCA), British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP-UK), Canadian Counseling Association (CCA)/Association Canadienne de Counseling (ACC), Center for Excellence in School Counseling and Leadership(CESCaL) (USA), Center for School Counseling Outcome Research (CSCOR-USA) Council for the Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP-USA and international), Counselling Children and Young People (BACP affiliate, UK), Counseling & Psychotherapy in Scotland (COSCA), Cypriot Association of School Guidance Counsellors (OELMEK), European Counseling Association (ECA), France Ministry of Education, Federacion Espanola de Orientacion y Psicopedagogia (FEOP-Spain), Department of Education-Malta, Hellenic Society of Counselling and Guidance (HESCOG-Greece), Hong Kong Association of Guidance Masters and Career Masters (HKAGMCM), Institute of Guidance Counselors (IGC) (Ireland), International Association for Educational and Vocational Guidance (IAEVG)/Association Internationale d'Orientation Scolaire et Professionnelle (AIOSP)/ Internationale Vereinigung fr Schul- und Berufsberatung (IVSBB)/Asociacin Internacional para la Orientacin Educativa y Profesional(AIOEP), International Baccalaureate (IB), International Vanguard of Counsellors (IVC), Kenya Association of Professional Counselors (KAPC), National Board for Certified Counselors (NBCC, USA), National Center for Transforming School Counseling (NCTSC) at The Education Trust (USA), National Office for School Counselor Advocacy (NOSCA) at The College Board (USA), New Zealand Association of Counsellors/Te Roopu Kaiwhiriwhiri o Aotearoa (NZAC), Counseling Association of Nigeria (CASSON), Philippine Guidance and Counseling Association (PGCA), Overseas Association of College Admissions Counselors (OACAC, an affiliate of National Association of College Admissions Counselors-USA), Singapore Association for Counseling (SAC), and the Taiwan Guidance and Counseling Association (TGCA).

School Counselors are expected to follow a professional code of ethics in many countries. For example, In the USA, they are the American School Counselor Association (ASCA) School Counselor Ethical Code, the American Counseling Association (ACA) Code of Ethics., and the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC) Statement of Principles of Good Practice (SPGP).

Elementary school counseling

Elementary school counselors provide academic, career, college access, and personal and social competencies and planning to all students, and individual and group counseling for some students and their families to meet the developmental needs of young children K-6. Transitions from pre-school to elementary school and from elementary school to middle school are an important focus for elementary school counselors. Increased emphasis is placed on accountability for closing achievement and opportunity gaps at the elementary level as more school counseling programs move to evidence-based work with data and specific results. School counseling programs that deliver specific competencies to all students help to close achievement and opportunity gaps. To facilitate individual and group school counseling interventions, school counselors use developmental, cognitive-behavioral, person-centered (Rogerian) listening and influencing skills, systemic, family, multicultural, narrative, and play therapy theories and techniques. released a research study showing the effectiveness of elementary school counseling programs in Washington state.

Middle school counseling

Middle school counselors provide school counseling curriculum lessonson academic, career, college access, and personal and social competencies, advising and academic/career/college access planning to all students and individual and group counseling for some students and their families to meet the needs of older children/early adolescents in grades 7 and 8. Middle School College Access curricula have been developed by The College Board to assist students and their families well before reaching high school. To facilitate the school counseling process, school counselors use theories and techniques including developmental, cognitive-behavioral, person-centered (Rogerian) listening and influencing skills, sytemic, family, multicultural, narrative, and play therapy. Transitional issues to ensure successful transitions to high school are a key area including career exploration and assessment with seventh and eighth grade students. Sink, Akos, Turnbull, & Mvududu released a study in 2008 confirming the effectiveness of middle school comprehensive school counseling programs in Washington state.

Chapter 2
Child Development
Child development refers to the biological and psychological and emotional changes that occur in human beings between birth and the end of adolescence, as the individual progresses from dependency to increasing autonomy. Because these developmental changes may be strongly influenced by genetic factors and events during prenatal life, genetics and prenatal development are usually included as part of the study of child development. Related terms include developmental psychology, referring to development throughout the lifespan, and pediatrics, the branch of medicine relating to the care of children. Developmental change may occur as a result of geneticallycontrolled processes known as maturation, or as a result of environmental factors and learning, but most commonly involves an interaction between the two. It may also occur as a result of human nature and our ability to learn from our environment. Human beings have a keen sense to adapt to their surroundings and this is what child development encompasses. There are various definitions of periods in a child's development, since each period is a continuum with individual differences regarding start and ending. Some age-related development periods and examples of defined intervals are: newborn (ages 04 weeks); infant (ages 4 weeks 1 year); toddler (ages 13 years); preschooler (ages 46years); school-aged child (ages 613 years); adolescent (ages 1320).[1] However, organizations like Zero to Three and the World Association for Infant Mental Health use the term infant as a broad category, including children from birth to age 3. The optimal development of children is considered vital to society and so it is important to understand the social, cognitive, emotional, and educational development of children. Increased research and interest in this field has resulted in new theories and strategies, with specific regard to practice that promotes development within the school system. In addition there are also some theories that seek to describe a sequence of states that compose child development.

Ecological Systems Theory

Also called "Development in Context" or "Human Ecology" theory, Ecological Systems Theory, originally formulated by Urie Bronfenbrenner specifies four types of nested environmental systems, with bi-directional influences within and between the systems. The four systems are Microsystem, Mesosystem, Exosystem, and Macrosystem. Each system contains roles, norms and rules that can powerfully shape development. Since its publication in 1979, Bronfenbrenner's major statement of this theory, The Ecology of Human Development [2] has had widespread influence on the way psychologists and others approach the study of human beings and their environments. As a result of this influential conceptualization of development, these environments from the family to economic and political structures have come to be viewed as part of the life course from childhood through adulthood.[3]

Piaget Stages
Sensorimotor: (birth to about age 2) During this stage, the child learns about himself and his environment through motor and reflex actions. Thought derives from sensation and movement. The child learns that he is separate from his environment and that aspects of his environment his parents or favorite toycontinue to exist even though they may be outside the reach of his senses; this is called object permanence. Teaching for a child in this stage should be geared to the sensorimotor system. You can modify behavior by using the senses: a frown, a stern or soothing voiceall serve as appropriate techniques. Preoperational: (begins about the time the child starts to talk to about age 7) Applying his new knowledge of language, the child begins to use symbols to represent objects. Early in this stage he or she also personifies objects. They are now better able to think about things and events that aren't immediately present. Oriented to the present, children have difficulty conceptualizing time. Their thinking is influenced by fantasythe way they'd like things to be. Children's at this age show egocentrism-they assume that others see situations from his or her viewpoint. They take in information and change it in their mind to fit their ideas. Teaching must take into account the child's vivid fantasies and undeveloped sense of time. Using neutral words, body outlines and equipment a child can touch gives him an active role in learning. However a child still can not grasp the concept of conservation - an ability to understand that specific properties of objects such as volume,weight or number remains the same despite the changes in shape or arrangement of those objects.[4] Concrete: (about first grade to early adolescence) During this stage, accommodation increases. The child develops an ability to think abstractly and to make rational judgments about concrete or observable phenomena, 6

which in the past he needed to manipulate physically to understand. In teaching this child, giving him the opportunity to ask questions and to explain things back to you allows him to mentally manipulate information. Formal Operations: This stage brings cognition to its final form. This person no longer requires concrete objects to make rational judgements. At this point, he is capable of hypothetical and deductive reasoning. Teaching for the adolescent may be wideranging because he'll be able to consider many possibilities from several perspectives.
Vygotsky

Vygotsky was a theorist who worked during the first decades of the former Soviet Union. He posited that children learn through hands-on experience, as Piaget suggested. However, unlike Piaget, he claimed that timely and sensitive intervention by adults when a child is on the edge of learning a new task (called the zone of proximal development) could help children learn new tasks. This technique is called "scaffolding," because it builds upon knowledge children already have with new knowledge that adults can help the child learn.[5] An example of this might be when a parent "helps" an infant clap or roll her hands to the pat-a-cake rhyme, until she can clap and roll her hands herself.[6][7] Vygotsky was strongly focused on the role of culture in determining the child's pattern of development.[5] He argued that "Every function in the child's cultural development appears twice: first, on the social level, and later, on the individual level; first, between people (interpsychological) and then inside the child (intrapsychological). This applies equally to voluntary attention, to logical memory, and to the formation of concepts. All the higher functions originate as actual relationships between individuals."[5] Vygotsky felt that development was a process and saw periods of crisis in child development during which there was a qualitative transformation in the child's mental functioning.[8]
Attachment theory

Attachment theory, originating in the work of John Bowlby and developed by Mary Ainsworth, is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory that provides a descriptive and explanatory framework for understanding interpersonal relationships between human beings. Attachment theorists consider the human infant to have a need for a relationship with at least one caregiver for normal social and emotional development to occur.

Erik Erikson
Erikson, a follower of Freud's, synthesized both Freud's and his own theories to create what is known as the "psychosocial" stages of human development, which span from birth to death, and focuses on "tasks" at each stage that must be accomplished to successfully navigate life's challenges.[9]
Behavioral Theories

John B. Watsons behaviorism theory forms the foundation of the behavioral model of development.[10] He wrote extensively on child development and conducted research (see Little Albert experiment). Watson was instrumental in the modification of William James stream of consciousness approach to construct a stream of behavior theory.[11] Watson also helped bring a natural science perspective to child psychology by introducing objective research methods based on observable and measurable behavior. Following Watsons lead, B.F. Skinner further extended this model to cover operant conditioning and verbal behavior.
Other theories

In accordance with his view that the sexual drive is a basic human motivation, Sigmund Freud developed a psychosexual theory of human development from infancy onward, divided into five stages. Each stage centered around the gratification of the libido within a particular area, or erogenous zone, of the body. He also argued that as humans develop, they become fixated on different and specific objects through their stages of development. Each stage contains conflict which requires resolution to enable the child to develop.[12] The use of dynamical systems theory as a framework for the consideration of development began in the early 1990s and has continued into the present century.[13] Dynamic systems theory stresses nonlinear connections (e.g., between earlier and later social assertiveness) and the capacity of a system to reorganize as a phase shift that is stage-like in nature. Another useful concept for developmentalists is the attractor state, a condition (such as teething or stranger anxiety) that helps to determine apparently unrelated behaviors as well as related ones. Dynamic systems theory has been applied extensively to the study of motor development; the theory also has strong associations with some of Bowlby's views about attachment systems. Dynamic systems theory also relates to the concept of the transactional process,[14] a mutually interactive process in which children and parents simultaneously influence each other, producing developmental change in both over time. The Core Knowledge Perspective is an evolutionary theory in child development that proposes "infants begin life with innate, special-purpose knowledge systems referred to 8

as core domains of thought"[15] There are five core domains of thought, each of which is crucial for survival, which simultaneously prepare us to develop key aspects of early cognition; they are: physical, numerical, linguistic, psychological, and biological.

Continuity and discontinuity in development

Although the identification of developmental milestones is of interest to researchers and to children's caregivers, many aspects of developmental change are continuous and do not display noticeable milestones of change.[16] Continuous developmental changes, like growth in stature, involve fairly gradual and predictable progress toward adult characteristics. When developmental change is discontinuous, however, researchers may identify not only milestones of development, but related age periods often called stages. A stage is a period of time, often associated with a known chronological age range, during which a behavior or physical characteristic is qualitatively different from what it is at other ages. When an age period is referred to as a stage, the term implies not only this qualitative difference, but also a predictable sequence of developmental events, such that each stage is both preceded and followed by specific other periods associated with characteristic behavioral or physical qualities. Stages of development may overlap or be associated with specific other aspects of development, such as speech or movement. Even within a particular developmental area, transition into a stage may not mean that the previous stage is completely finished. For example, in Erikson's discussion of stages of personality, this theorist suggests that a lifetime is spent in reworking issues that were originally characteristic of a childhood stage.[17] Similarly, the theorist of cognitive development, Piaget, described situations in which children could solve one type of problem using mature thinking skills, but could not accomplish this for less familiar problems, a phenomenon he called horizontal decalage.[18]

Mechanisms of development

Although developmental change runs parallel with chronological age, age itself cannot cause development. The basic mechanisms or causes of developmental change are genetic factors and environmental factors. Genetic factors are responsible for cellular changes like overall growth, changes in proportion of body and brain parts, and the maturation of aspects of function such as vision and dietary needs. Because genes can 9

be "turned off" and "turned on", the individual's initial genotype may change in function over time, giving rise to further developmental change. Environmental factors affecting development may include both diet and disease exposure, as well as social, emotional, and cognitive experiences. However, examination of environmental factors also shows that young human beings can survive within a fairly broad range of environmental experiences.[18] Rather than acting as independent mechanisms, genetic and environmental factors often interact to cause developmental change. Some aspects of child development are notable for their plasticity, or the extent to which the direction of development is guided by environmental factors as well as initiated by genetic factors. For example, the development of allergic reactions appears to be caused by exposure to certain environmental factors relatively early in life, and protection from early exposure makes the child less likely to show later allergic reactions. When an aspect of development is strongly affected by early experience, it is said to show a high degree of plasticity; when the genetic make-up is the primary cause of development, plasticity is said to be low. [19] Plasticity may involve guidance by endogenous factors like hormones as well as by exogenous factors like infection.

One kind of environmental guidance of development has been described as experiencedependent plasticity, in which behavior is altered as a result of learning from the environment. Plasticity of this type can occur throughout the lifespan and may involve many kinds of behavior, including some emotional reactions. A second type of plasticity, experience-expectant plasticity, involves the strong effect of specific experiences during limited sensitive periods of development. For example, the coordinated use of the two eyes, and the experience of a single three-dimensional image rather than the twodimensional images created by light in each eye, depend on experiences with vision during the second half of the first year of life. Experience-expectant plasticity works to fine-tune aspects of development that cannot proceed to optimum outcomes as a result of genetic factors working alone.[20] In addition to the existence of plasticity in some aspects of development, geneticenvironmental correlations may function in several ways to determine the mature characteristics of the individual. Genetic-environmental correlations are circumstances in which genetic factors make certain experiences more likely to occur. For example, in 10

passive genetic-environmental correlation, a child is likely to experience a particular environment because his or her parents' genetic make-up makes them likely to choose or create such an environment. In evocative genetic-environmental correlation, the child's genetically-caused characteristics cause other people to respond in certain ways, providing a different environment than might occur for a genetically-different child; for instance, a child with Down syndrome may be treated more protectively and less challengingly than a non-Down child. Finally, an active genetic-environmental correlation is one in which the child chooses experiences that in turn have their effect; for instance, a muscular, active child may choose after-school sports experiences that create increased athletic skills, but perhaps preclude music lessons. In all of these cases, it becomes difficult to know whether child characteristics were shaped by genetic factors, by experiences, or by a combination of the two.[21]

Research issues and methods

1. What develops? What relevant aspects of the individual change over a period of time? 2. What are the rate and speed of development? 3. What are the mechanisms of development - what aspects of experience and heredity cause developmental change? 4. Are there normal individual differences in the relevant developmental changes? 5. Are there population differences in this aspect of development (for example, differences in the development of boys and of girls)?

Empirical research that attempts to answer these questions may follow a number of patterns. Initially, observational research in naturalistic conditions may be needed to develop a narrative describing and defining an aspect of developmental change, such as changes in reflex reactions in the first year. This type of work may be followed by correlational studies, collecting information about chronological age and some type of development such as vocabulary growth; correlational statistics can be used to state change. Such studies examine the characteristics of children at different ages. These methods may involve longitudinal studies, in which a group of children are re-examined on a number of occasions as they get older,or cross-sectional studies, in which groups of children of different ages are tested once and compared with each other, or there may be a combination of these approaches. Some child development studies examine the effects of experience or heredity by comparing characteristics of different groups of children in a necessarily non-randomized design. Other studies can use randomized designs to compare outcomes for groups of children who receive different interventions or educational treatments.[18]

Developmental milestones
Milestones are changes in specific physical and mental abilities (such as walking and understanding language) that mark the end of one developmental period and the beginning of another. For stage theories, milestones indicate a stage transition. Studies of the accomplishment of many developmental tasks have established typical chronological ages associated with developmental milestones. However, there is 11

considerable variation in the achievement of milestones, even between children with developmental trajectories within the normal range. Some milestones are more variable than others; for example, receptive speech indicators do not show much variation among children with normal hearing, but expressive speech milestones can be quite variable. A common concern in child development is developmental delay involving a delay in an age-specific ability for important developmental milestones. Prevention of and early intervention in developmental delay are significant topics in the study of child development. Developmental delays should be diagnosed by comparison with characteristic variability of a milestone, not with respect to average age at achievement. An example of a milestone would be eye-hand coordination, which includes a child's increasing ability to manipulate objects in a coordinated manner. Increased knowledge of age-specific milestones allows parents and others to keep track of appropriate development.

Aspects of child development

Child development is not a matter of a single topic, but progresses somewhat differently for different aspects of the individual. Here are descriptions of the development of a number of physical and mental characteristics.
Physical growth What develops?

Physical growth in stature and weight occurs over the 1520 years following birth, as the individual changes from the average weight of 3.5 kg and length of 50 cm at full term birth to full adult size. As stature and weight increase, the individual's proportions also change, from the relatively large head and small torso and limbs of the neonate, to the adult's relatively small head and long torso and limbs.[22]
Speed and pattern of development

The speed of physical growth is rapid in the months after birth, then slows, so birth weight is doubled in the first four months, tripled by age 12 months, but not quadrupled until 24 months.Growth then proceeds at a slow rate until shortly before puberty (between about 9 and 15 years of age), when a period of rapid growth occurs. Growth is not uniform in rate and timing across all body parts. At birth, head size is already relatively near to that of an adult, but the lower parts of the body are much smaller than adult size. In the course of development, then, the head grows relatively little, and torso and limbs undergo a great deal of growth.[22]

12

Mechanisms of developmental change

Genetic factors play a major role in determining the growth rate, and particularly the changes in proportion characteristic of early human development. However, genetic factors can produce the maximum growth only if environmental conditions are adequate. Poor nutrition and frequent injury and disease can reduce the individual's adult stature, but the best environment cannot cause growth to a greater stature than is determined by heredity.[22]
Individual differences

Individual differences in height and weight during childhood are considerable. Some of these differences are due to family genetic factors, others to environmental factors, but at some points in development they may be strongly influenced by individual differences in reproductive maturation.[22]
Motor development What develops?

Abilities for physical movement change through childhood from the largely reflexive (unlearned, involuntary) movement patterns of the young infant to the highly skilled voluntary movements characteristic of later childhood and adolescence. (Of course, older children and adolescents retain some reflex movements in addition to developing voluntary movement.)[16]
Speed and pattern of development

The speed of motor development is rapid in early life, as many of the reflexes of the newborn alter or disappear within the first year, and slows later. Like physical growth, motor development shows predictable patterns of cephalocaudal (head to foot) and proximodistal (torso to extremities) development, with movements at the head end and in the more central areas coming under control before those of the lower part of the body or the hands and feet. Types of movement develop in stage-like sequences; for example, locomotion at 68 months involves creeping on all fours, then proceeds to pulling to stand, "cruising" while holding on to an object, walking while holding an adult's hand, and finally walking independently. Older children continue the sequence by walking sideways or backward, galloping, hopping, skipping with one foot and walking 13

with the other, and finally skipping. By middle childhood and aisha adolescence, new motor skills are acquired by instruction or observation rather than in a predictable sequence.[16]
Mechanisms of motor development

The mechanisms involved in motor development involve some genetic components that determine the physical size of body parts at a given age, as well as aspects of muscle and bone strength. Nutrition and exercise also determine strength and therefore the ease and accuracy with which a body part can be moved.[16] It has also been shown that the frontal lobe develops posterio-anteriorally (from back to front). This is significant in motor development because the hind portion of the frontal lobe is known to control motor functions. This form of development is known as "Portional Development" and explains why motor functions develop relatively quickly during normal childhood development, while logic, which is controlled by the middle and front portions of the frontal lobe, usually will not develop until late childhood and early adolescence. [23] Opportunities to carry out movements help establish the abilities to flex (move toward the trunk) and extend body parts, both capacities being needed for good motor ability. Skilled voluntary movements develop as a result of practice and learning.[16]
Individual differences

Normal individual differences in motor ability are common and depend in part on the child's weight and build. However, after the infant period, normal individual differences are strongly affected by opportunities to practice, observe, and be instructed on specific movements. Atypical motor development may be an indication of developmental delays or problems such as autism or cerebral palsy.[16]
Population differences

There are some population differences in motor development, with girls showing some advantages in small muscle usage, including articulation of sounds with lips and tongue. Ethnic differences in reflex movements of newborn infants have been reported, suggesting that some biological factor is at work. Cultural differences may encourage learning of motor skills like using the left hand only for sanitary purposes and the right hand for all other uses, producing a population difference. Cultural factors are also seen at work in practiced voluntary movements such as the use of the foot to dribble a soccer ball or the hand to dribble a basketball.[16]
Cognitive/Intellectual development What develops?

The capacity to learn, remember, and symbolise information, and to solve problems, exists at a simple level in young infants, who can perform cognitive tasks such as discriminating animate and inanimate beings or recognizing small numbers of objects. 14

During childhood, learning and information-processing increase in speed, memory becomes increasingly longer, and symbol use and the capacity for abstraction develop until a near-adult level is reached by adolescence.[16]
Mechanisms of cognitive development

Cognitive development has genetic and other biological mechanisms, as is seen in the many genetic causes of mental retardation. Environmental factors including food and nutrition, responsiveness of parents, daily experiences, physical activity and love can influence early brain development of children.[24] However, although it is assumed that brain functions cause cognitive events, it has not been possible to measure specific brain changes and show that they cause cognitive change. Developmental advances in cognition are also related to experience and learning, and this is particularly the case for higher-level abilities like abstraction, which depend to a considerable extent on formal education.[16]
Individual differences

There are normal individual differences in the ages at which specific cognitive abilities are achieved, but schooling for children in industrialized countries is based on the assumption that these differences are not large. Atypical delays in cognitive development are problematic for children in cultures that demand advanced cognitive skills for work and for independent living.[16]
Population differences

There are few population differences in cognitive development. Boys and girls show some differences in their skills and preferences, but there is a great deal of overlap between the groups. Differences in cognitive achievement of different ethnic groups appears to result from cultural or other environmental factors.[16]
Social-emotional development What develops?

Newborn infants do not seem to experience fear or have preferences for contact with any specific people. In the first few months they only experience happiness, sadness, and anger[citation needed]. A babys first smile usually occurs between 6 and 10 weeks. It is called a social smile because it usually occurs during social interactions. By about 8 12 months, they go through a fairly rapid change and become fearful of perceived threats; they also begin to prefer familiar people and show anxiety and distress when separated from them or approached by strangers. The capacity for empathy and the understanding of social rules begin in the preschool period and continue to develop into adulthood. Middle childhood is characterized by friendships with age-mates, and adolescence by emotions connected with sexuality and the beginnings of romantic love.

15

Anger seems most intense during the toddler and early preschool period and during adolescence.[16]
Speed and pattern of development

Some aspects of social-emotional development, like empathy, develop gradually, but others, like fearfulness, seem to involve a rather sudden reorganization of the child's experience of emotion. Sexual and romantic emotions develop in connection with physical maturation.[16]
Mechanisms of social and emotional development

Genetic factors appear to regulate some social-emotional developments that occur at predictable ages, such as fearfulness, and attachment to familiar people. Experience plays a role in determining which people are familiar, which social rules are obeyed,and how anger is expressed.[16]
Individual differences

Individual differences in the sequence of social-emotional development are unusual, but the intensity or expressiveness of emotions can vary greatly from one normal child to another. Individual tendencies to various types of reactivity are probably constitutional, and they are referred to as temperamental differences. Atypical development of socialemotional characteristics may be mildly unusual, or may be so extreme as to indicate mental illness.[16] Temperamental traits are thought to be stable and enduring throughout the life span. Children who are active and angry as infants can be expected to be active and angry as older children, adolescents and adults.[citation needed]
Population differences

Population differences may occur in older children, if, for example they have learned that it is appropriate for boys to express emotion or behave differently than girls, or if customs learned by children of one ethnic group are different from those learned in another. Social and emotional differences between boys and girls of a given age may also be associated with differences in the timing of puberty characteristic of the two sexes.[16]
Language What develops?

In addition to acquiring a large spoken vocabulary, there are four main areas in which the child must attain competence, regardless of the language or dialect spoken. These are referred to as phonology or sounds, semantics or the encoded meanings, syntax or the way in which words are combined and pragmatics or knowledge of how language is used in different contexts.[3] 16

Speed and pattern of development

Receptive language, the understanding of others' speech, has a gradual development beginning at about 6 months. However, expressive language, the production of words, moves rapidly after its beginning at about a year of age, with a "vocabulary explosion" of rapid word acquisition occurring in the middle of the second year. This vocabulary expansion is closely linked to the ability to repeat spoken words and enables the rapid acquisition of skill in their pronunciation.[25][26] Grammatical rules and word combinations appear at about age two. Mastery of vocabulary and grammar continue gradually through the preschool and school years. Adolescents still have smaller vocabularies than adults and experience more difficulty with constructions like the passive voice. Babies from one month old can produce "ooh" sounds which appear to grow out of pleasurable interactions with caregivers in a mutual "dialogue". According to Stern, this process is communication of affect between adult and infant in a mutual, rhythmic interaction. The attunement and "gaze-coupling" in which infant and adult take different roles is thought to anticipate the give-and-take of later dialogue.[27] From about 6 to 9 months babies produce more vowels, some consonants and echolalia, or the frequent repetition of sounds like "dadadada" which appear to have some phonetic characteristics of later speech. It is thought that a crucial part of the development of speech is the time caregivers spend "guessing" what their infants are trying to communicate thus integrating the child into their social world. When infants are trying to learn words from others they tend to create protowords, which is a "unique string of phonemes that serve word-like functions."[28] The attribution of intentionality to the infant's utterances has been called "shared memory" and forms a complex series of actions, intentions and actions in response in an improvised way.[3] It has been argued that children's phonological systems develop in ways that are parallel to adult languages, even if they are using unrecognizable "words". [29] First words have the function of naming or labelling but also condense meaning as in "milk" meaning "I want milk". Vocabulary typically grows from about 20 words at 18 months to around 200 words at 21 months. From around 18 months the child starts to combine words into two word sentences. Typically the adult expands it to clarify meaning. By 24 27 months the child is producing three or four word sentences using a logical, if not strictly correct, syntax. The theory is that children apply a basic set of rules such as adding 's' for plurals or inventing simpler words out of words too complicated to repeat like "choskit" for chocolate biscuit. Following this there is a rapid appearance of grammatical rules and ordering of sentences. There is often an interest in rhyme, and imaginative play frequently includes conversations.[3] Children's recorded monologues give insight into the development of the process of organising information into meaningful units.[30] By three years the child is beginning to use complex sentences, including relative clauses, although still perfecting various linguistic systems. By five years of age the child's use of language is very similar to that of an adult.[3] From the age of about three 17

children can indicate fantasy or make-believe linguistically, produce coherent personal stories and fictional narrative with beginnings and endings.[3] It is argued that children devise narrative as a way of understanding their own experience and as a medium for communicating their meaning to others.[31] The ability to engage in extended discourse emerges over time from regular conversation with adults and peers. For this the child needs to learn to combine his perspective with that of others and with outside events and learn to use linguistic indicators to show he is doing this. They also learn to adjust their language depending on to whom they are speaking. Typically by the age of about 9 a child can recount other narratives in addition to their own experiences, from the perspectives of the author, the characters in the story and their own views.[32]
Mechanisms of language development

Although the role of adult discourse is important in facilitating the child's learning, there is considerable disagreement amongst theorists about the extent to which children's early meanings and expressive words arises directly from adult input as opposed to intrinsic factors relating to the child's cognitive functions. Findings about the initial mapping of new words, the ability to decontextualise words and refine meaning are diverse.[3] One hypothesis is known as the syntactic bootstrapping hypothesis, referring to the child's ability to infer meaning from cues, using grammatical information from the structure of sentences.[33] Another is the multi-route model in which it is argued that context-bound words and referential words follow different routes; the first being mapped onto event representations and the latter onto mental representations. In this model, although parental input has a critical role, children rely on cognitive processing to establish subsequent use of words.[34] However, naturalistic research on language development has indicated that preschoolers' vocabularies are strongly associated with the number of words addressed to them by adults.[35] There is as yet no single accepted theory of language acquisition. Current explanations vary in emphasis from learning theory, with its emphasis on reinforcement and imitation (Skinner), to biological, nativist theories, with innate underlying mechanisms (Chomsky and Pinker), to a more interactive approach within a social context (Piaget and Tomasello).[3] Behaviorists argue that given the universal presence of a physical environment and, usually, a social environment, any theory of language must account for the effects of the contingent relations of these on an individuals development of language behaviour.[36][37][38] Pinker argues that complex language is universal and has an innate basis. Pinker's argument is partly based on the development of creole languages from pidgins. The children of parents who communicate, without grammatical structures, in pidgin, develop a creole language of their own accord, complete with standardised word orders, markers for present, future and past tenses and subordinate clauses.[39] There is some support for this from the development of sign language amongst deaf children thrown together at a young age in special schools in Nicaragua who spontaneously developed a pidgin which was then developed into a creole by a younger generation of children coming into the schools, (ISN).[40][41]

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Individual differences

Slow Expressive Language Development (SELD) a delay in the use of words coupled with normal understanding, is characteristic of a small proportion of children who later display normal language use. Dyslexia is a significant topic in child development as it affects approximately 5% of the population (in the western world). Essentially it is a disorder whereby children fail to attain the language skills of reading, writing and spelling commensurate with their intellectual abilities. Dyslexic children show a range of differences in their language development, from subtle speech impairments to mispronunciations to word-finding difficulties. The most common phonological difficulties are limitations of verbal short-term memory and phonological awareness. Such children often have difficulties with long-term verbal learning such as months of the year or learning tables. In the late 1980s the phonological deficit hypothesis has become the dominant explanation. The difficulties in early articulation, basic phonological skills and acquiring basic building blocks means that dyslexics have to invest too many resources in just coping with the basics rather than acquiring new information or skills. Early identification enables children to receive help before they fail.[3] Atypically delayed language development may be diagnostic of autism, and regression of language may indicate serious disabilities like Rett syndrome. Poor language development also accompanies general developmental delays such as those found in Down syndrome.

Risk factors for poor child development

Research has found several risk factors that may affect child development negatively. Many of these are especially prevalent in developing nations. Stunting due to malnutrition may reduce IQ by 6-13 points and affects 25-30% of children. Iodine deficiency may reduce IQ by 9-13 points and affects 35% of children. Iron deficiency anemia may reduce IQ by 1.73 IQ points/10 g/L hemoglobin. Anemia affects 20-30% of children. Lack of stimulation/learning opportunities may reduce IQ by 0.5-1 SD. 60-90% of children are not stimulated by parents. A number of other factors have also been associated with poor child development with varying degree of evidence: Maternal depression, exposure to violence, intrauterine growth retardation, malaria, lead, lack of breast feeding, parental loss, zinc deficiency, intestinal helminths, HIV, diarrhea, arsenic, and manganese and pesticides.[42][43]

19

Chapter 3
Teen Development

The physical changes that take place during puberty are caused by hormones. A girl will usually get her first period around the same age that her mother did. Because teens want to fit in, most choose friends whose interests, activities, and values are similar to their own. Talking on the phone is one way teens develop their social skills.

As a teenager, you go through many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes. The biggest change is puberty, the process of becoming sexually mature. It usually happens between ages 10 and 14 for girls and ages 12 and 16 for boys. As your body changes, you may have questions about sexual health. During this time, you start to develop your own unique personality and opinions. Some changes that you might notice include

Increased independence from your parents More concerns about body image and clothes More influence from peers Greater ability to sense right and wrong

All of these changes can sometimes seem overwhelming. Some sadness or moodiness can be normal. But feeling very sad, hopeless, or worthless could be warning signs of a mental health problem. If you need help, talk to your parents, school counselor, or health care provider.
Quick Facts

The physical changes that take place during puberty are caused by hormones. A girl will usually get her first period around the same age that her mother did. Because teens want to fit in, most choose friends whose interests, activities, and values are similar to their own. Talking on the phone is one way teens develop their social skills.

Physical changes (Puberty)

For girls, puberty begins around 10 or 11 years of age and ends around age 16. Boys enter puberty later than girls-usually around 12 years of age-and it lasts until around age 16 or 17. Girls and boys usually begin puberty around the same time their mothers and fathers did. Talk with your child about the following physical changes that will happen during puberty. The changes are listed in the order in which they generally occur.

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Girls

body fat increases breasts begin to enlarge pubic hair grows height and weight increase first menstrual period occurs hips widen underarm hair grows skin and hair become more oily pimples may appear

Boys

scrotum becomes darker testicles grow larger penis grows longer and fuller pubic hair grows breasts can get "lumps" and become tender height and weight increase muscles develop wet dreams occur voice cracks and gets deeper skin and hair become more oily pimples may appear underarm and facial hair grow

Intellectual development

Most 11- to 14-year-olds are still concrete thinkers-they perceive things as good or bad, right or wrong. This is normal. They are just beginning to imagine possibilities, recognize consequences of their actions, and anticipate what others are thinking. Youth begin to question family and school rules and challenge their parents. Preteens and teens tend to believe that bad things won't happen to them. This helps explain why they are risk-takers. For example, a young girl may believe she can smoke cigarettes without becoming addicted. Preteens and teens believe they are the center of attention. This explains why they are painfully self-conscious--a tiny pimple may seem like the end of the world.

Social and emotional development

Preteens and teens begin to spend more time with peers and less time with family. Preteens and teens begin to form their identity by exploring different clothes, hairstyles, friends, music, and hobbies. Moodiness is common as youth struggle to search for an identity. 21

Preteens and teens push limits that adults put on them to assert their independence. Preteens and teens have mixed feelings about "breaking away" from parents. One day your daughter may want nothing to do with you, the next she is constantly at your side. Troubled youth may act out (for example, get into physical fights, use alcohol or other drugs, skip school) to express emotional pain.

Tips for Parents

1. Preteens and teens are sometimes embarrassed by their changing bodies and concerned that they are not developing at the same rate as their friends. Reassure your child that young people grow and develop at their own pace and that the changes are normal. 2. Do not tease your child about pubertal changes. 3. Explain the importance of good personal hygiene. Active sweat glands call for regular bathing and deodorant. For healthy teeth, everyone should brush twice a day with a fluoride toothpaste and floss daily. 4. Set reasonable and appropriate limits. Preteens and teens want guidance. 5. When differences arise, listen to your child and try to understand his or her point of view. 6. Choose your battles! Hold your ground on important issues such as grades and drugs, and let go of smaller issues such as hairstyles and clothes. If it won't matter a year from now, is it worth arguing over? 7. Allow your preteen or teen to make more decisions as he or she proves the ability to use good judgment. 8. If your child is acting out, talk with him or her to get to the heart of the problem. 9. Get counseling for your child or the whole family if you believe it could help. 10. Talk with other parents about your concerns, their parenting experiences, setting limits, etc.

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Chapter 4
Dealing with Children
Why children misbehave When you visit a professional person or talk to friends and family about difficulties you have with your children, you will be given a lot of advice. Sometimes this advice is upsetting because it makes you feel bad, or people contradict each other. It can be very confusing. It becomes even more confusing when you ask people why your child or children act in the way they do. Typically, children may misbehave because of family difficulties, such as bereavement, illness, divorce, remarriage, school problems, bullying, lack of confidence, problems with friends or brothers and sisters and such like. There may be medical problems such as ADHD or other rarer conditions. Even if this is the case, you may find this information helpful. It is useful to think of bad behaviour as a sign that something is wrong. If you think about it, most people want to be liked and helped, not to remain angry, hurt and isolated. Whatever the reasons for bad behaviour, try to talk to your child about their emotional distress and feelings. It is often more useful to guess how a child is feeling rather than to ask them. For instance, you could say, "I guess you are angry (hurt, upset etc.) about something and that is why you are acting this way". This can help the child to open up more, believing you understand and connect with their feelings. You will often find that if you ask a child how they are feeling that they become confused or simply refuse to tell you. Enlisting the help of your partner, relative, friend or teacher can make it easier for your child to talk. Sometimes, a professional counsellor with experience of talking to children can help too. Don't expect talking to sort it all out. Sometimes it does, but you will be lucky if this works on its own. Sometimes children refuse to talk as a way of expressing how they feel and refuse to talk to you however reasonable you may be towards them. Children who are very naughty, defiant or aggressive often feel out of control. When out of control children talk about how they feel, they often express how frightening it is to be this way. They want to get better control of their feelings or for someone else to help control them. Children who are out of control often feel unsafe, sad, upset and helpless. They can feel isolated and lonely. This may be hard to believe when you are facing a cheeky and defiant child. Planning for change and getting support for yourself Getting control of difficult behaviour in children can be difficult, time consuming and tiring. You have to think of the long term and a happier future together. This is not always easy, so try to get some support. 23

Support means having someone around to help you. For some parents, this will be their partner. For others, grandparents or close family friends can offer support and encouragement. If you have young children there are health visitors to support you, and other professionals if your children are older. Getting support for yourself involves being open with people close to you about what you are trying to change in your relationship with your child. It means asking for help and learning to accept your need for help as a necessity, not a failing. Think about getting a break from the children from time to time and having some time on your own as a couple or as a single parent. This involves asking people to look after the children occasionally. This can be family members or a trusted friend. First steps If you have a partner or other adults close to your family, such as grandparents, you need to work together to deal with the children. By together, I mean that you make a clear plan about how to tackle the child or children and that you adopt a consistent way of dealing with them. Together means:

Supporting each other in front of the children. By not disagreeing with each other in front of them. Working to find ways that work for you both when dealing with the children. Trying not to fall out over the children. It means not criticising each other and thinking you know best, or that one of you is a better parent or better disciplinarian, that someone is too soft or too hard. There is nothing worse that being put down when you are working hard to change things for the better. Discussing your differences away from the children. Find solutions to the differences between you, such as how to discipline the children. At times, you may have to compromise with your partner. This means you have to trust your partner and to admit when you get it wrong. If you cannot do the above, it will be very difficult to get the children to change. If you, as parents (or family), cannot organise yourselves, it will be difficult for the children to change. Children expect their parents to take the lead.

If you are having difficulties agreeing a plan, then you may need to talk it over with a professional or some other person you trust. Choose one aspect of your child's behaviour to change.

Make a list of your child's difficult behaviours. If you have a partner, involved family member or friend, get them to do the same. Decide which behaviours bother you most. When you have done this, choose one behaviour that you feel you could begin to deal with. If they all feel as bad as each other just select one.

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Make sure it is clear what actual behaviour you want to tackle and that this behaviour is something you can clearly describe to your child. For instance, you can do something about a child who refuses to do as he is told, because you can clearly see what behaviour is taking place. It is hard to confront a "bad attitude" because a bad attitude is harder to explain to a child and involves many different types of behaviour. The key is to keep it simple. This way you avoid confusing your child and can clearly see whether their behaviour is improving.

Another reason to concentrate on one behaviour at a time, is to avoid you ending up confronting your child all the time. This would lead to them becoming distressed and you becoming exhausted. You need good times with your child as well. Children, like most people like attention. If the only way they get attention is by misbehaving, then you will reinforce poor behaviour by constantly confronting it. By now, you should have agreement from your partner, relative or friend (or all of them) on how to tackle your child's behaviour. You should have decided what behaviour you are going to tackle first. Deciding on Consequences The next thing to do is to decide on how to discipline the child/children by using consequences. It is worth considering what discipline is for. Discipline is about correcting children's behaviour. It is about helping them to make good decisions and develop proper control of their lives and relationships with other people. How parents choose to discipline children is complicated. There are debates about styles of discipline. Some people for instance, feel physical punishment is wrong. Others say psychological punishments are harsh too, but in a different way. Whatever your individual thoughts, you need to be very clear about how you will discipline your child. If you are a couple, or if other adults are closely involved with your children, you need to agree on how you are going to discipline the children in a consistent and reasonable way. Research shows that the most important aspect of discipline is being consistent in your approach. This means doing as you say and not threatening things you will never carry out. It helps if you give warnings about poor behaviour as soon as you feel it is becoming a problem and if you don't over-react to situations. Very harsh punishments lead only to resentment and fear, not to trust and respect. Applying consequences Consequences are not just punishments - they are ways to help children think and learn about their behaviour and how this affects their relationships. There are many types of consequences for good and bad behaviour. For instance, a consequence for poor behaviour could be to make someone sit in a chair for two minutes or to tell them you 25

will not speak to them for ten minutes. Alternatively you could switch the TV off for their favourite programme or ban the computer for an hour. For good behaviour, you can reward a child with praise, a hug, some special time together - whatever feels appropriate to you. When applying consequences to children, bear these points in mind:

Remember to support and back up your partner or other involved adults. Sit down, at a convenient time for you both, and share how it is going, what you think is useful and what you might need to change in your plan. If you fall out over these discussions, find another time to discuss it. Try not to disagree in front of the children. Get your child's attention first. You can do this by getting them to look at you, by getting them to repeat what you have said or by placing your hands on their shoulders and getting their attention. Be very clear about what behaviour you want to change. You can predict how you fear it may end up and how this could make you both feel. For instance: "I can see that you are getting worked up. I am worried that if you do not calm down, we will end up feeling angry with each other". Give only one warning before applying a consequence. When you give a consequence, stick to it. Try not to get involved in arguments or justifying your decisions to a child. You do not have to justify yourself to your child. Explain how their behaviour is affecting your relationship with them - how it makes you feel in relation to them, whether it makes you feel close or far away from them.

For example, a parent might say to a child who is defiant: "Listen to me David. When you refuse to do as I ask, it makes me feel angry. That makes me feel I do not want to be close to you. I would prefer it if you were more helpful and pleasant! If you do not stop being so defiant, I will give a consequence." For good behaviour you might say something like: "When you do as I ask, it makes me feel good. It makes me feel like we are close." This could be followed by a hug, or just a touch. Try to avoid bribes and rewards such as sweets or money. What is important is your relationship with your child. This may sound over deliberate and drawn-out, but it is important to let your child know how their behaviour affects their relationship with other people. As a parent, you are a significant person in their lives, and how you respond to them will teach them how to relate to you and other people in an appropriate way. Sometimes your child may be so angry that it is difficult to get them to listen to you. Don't worry about this, you can say it again when things have calmed. Trying to explain 26

or justify yourself to an angry or defiant child, is a waste of time. Later on, when things have calmed down, you could say something like this: "I'm sorry I had to stop you watching the television after you refused to tidy up your toys. It makes me sad when I have to give a consequence, but it is important to me that you help out." Be consistent. If the same problem occurs, deal with it in a similar way. If the problem persists, try changing the consequence without over-reacting. Remember to keep focused on one area of behaviour. You will still need to intervene if your child is being naughty in other ways, but try to pay particular attention to the behaviour you most want to change. If you try to change everything at once, it will be too difficult for you and your child. Once you begin to bring about change in one area you will notice that children begin to respond in other areas of their behaviour too. Preparing your child Find a suitable, calm time to tell your child about your decision to tackle their behaviour. Let them know that you are upset about this and explain that you want to change things. Tell them that your goal is to improve your relationship with them (in an age appropriate way). If there are two or more of you tackling these difficulties, try to have everyone present when you have this talk. Be fairly business-like in your approach. Don't be distracted by a child who wants you to justify everything. Remember you are the adult. Let your child volunteer any information or thoughts about your plan, but remember you are in charge of how you are going to deal with these difficulties The important thing is to let your child know what you have decided and planned. If your child does not want to listen, try again later. If this does not work, you will have to apply your plan despite their refusal to listen. At least you can say to yourself that you tried. It is not your fault if they will not listen - all you can do is try. You may be able to explain it at another time. Reactions in your children Sometimes children say they are not bothered when you apply a consequence. Sometimes their behaviour becomes very good and then goes back to how it was, or becomes much worse in order to break your resolve. Remember, it takes time for things to change and your new way of dealing with the children will need to become a normal part of your relationship, not something you try for a few weeks.

27

If your child says they are not bothered or don't care about your consequence, remind yourself that they have still been given it by you and that puts you in charge - not them. If a consequence does not work over time, change to another. It's a good idea to change them from time to time anyway. Don't expect your child to be grateful, or particularly helpful. They will have got used to how things are and may test you out to see if you really can stick to your plan. Think to yourself that you are saving yourself upset in the future and that you will help them develop better relationships with other children and adults if you get control of them now. If you fail, it will be harder the next time and harder as they get older. Comment on good or positive behavioural changes in your child without spoiling or over-indulging them. Your praise should be enough - do not start to give sweets or rewards for things they should be doing anyway. Your praise can be combined with a hug, smile, pat on the back - whatever you feel comfortable with. After some time, you can show your approval for good behaviour by relating it to your improved relationship with your child. For instance: "I think we'll go to the cinema today. You have been so helpful just lately that I feel like going somewhere special with you." This way you keep the focus on your improved relationship, not just the reward. If this is too hard for you: If trying to do this seems too hard for you, seek some professional help. You can find out where to get help from your GP. If you have a Health Visitor, ask them or seek advice from Social Service departments. Ask at your library if there are any support groups for parents in your area. Take things one day at a time. Try to start every new day with hope. Try to end the day on good terms with your child, as the night can otherwise seem very long (especially for a child) and it sets you up for a bad start the next day. Take it half a day at a time, or an hour, whatever you feel strong enough to cope with if a day feels too long. Bear in mind that this method is harder at first and should become easier over time. Basic Rule #1: Children are having a rougher time of it than adults. Do you remember what it was like to grow up? It's a tough job, especially when one is very young. Couple that with the "normal" family difficulties such as marital problems, divorce, etc., and you may well have a "problem" child. It's just a kid who is carrying not only the weight of his/her own difficulties, but also is feeling the weight and taking responsibility for the problems in their household. This is an important idea to grasp. Basic Rule #2: Children are people. Of course they are!! This may even seem like a silly thing to say, but I believe that it's often overlooked. I've observed some parents treat their children with a lack of respect that I think even the dog would find offensive. My advice to parents is this - when you're frustrated and at your "wits end" - before 28

yelling at a child, or "talking down" to him/her take a look at this: "Would I talk to my friend or neighbor this way?" Or, "How would I handle this situation if I was dealing with someone else?" I believe that children deserve the same level of respect as adults.

Basic Rule #3: Simple solutions work better. Okay, here I am getting a bit into talking about how the "experts" handle children - the most extensive section of the page but well worth reading. Do you realize how many "disorders" are listed by the APA for people - many for children? I don't remember the exact statistic but approximately a year ago I believe it was a few hundred. (I'll find this out and post it here as soon as I do.**Okay, I looked it up - it's over 300.**) OK, let's say a child is having difficulty studying - there is actually a "disorder" listed for that. Talking back to parents? (What kid doesn't at least at some point?) Yep, there's a "disorder" for that too. Whatever. Alright, so if we take this child and complicate the matter by giving the child drugs, do you think that handles anything? It sure adds a lot of complexity to the problem, that is for sure, and it doesn't help the child or cure anything. Try this - get on the internet, on the phone, whatever and get these questions answered by an "expert": What evidence exists that there is such a thing as ADD or ADHD (or other "disorder")? What is it exactly? Is there any proof of it's actual existence? Is it physical? Mental? Emotional? What causes it? What is an exact description of the condition and why do drugs help? Is there any evidence of the drugs helping the condition? There have been a number of people who have posed these questions and tried very diligently to get them answered and you know what? They couldn't.

Chapter 5
Dealing with Teenagers DOS & DONTS Do show respect for your teenager
Show it and you'll receive it in return. For example, respect their privacy by expressing an interest in their personal lives without trying to log into their Facebook account. Also, let them know that their opinions and feelings matter to you, and be constructive in your explanation if you don't agree with them ('Just because' just won't do). Overall, be positive, not punitive: admit and apologise when you've been in the wrong, and praise them when they've done something good. A little humility goes a long way. 29

Do listen
'Nobody understands me' may be the familiar adage of adolescence, but we can empathise by both taking the time to listen and remember what it was like for us as teenagers. Listening (while resisting the urge to interrupt) not only shows you care but also develops a sense of mutual trust. What's more, it will help you to gain a better understanding of certain situations without jumping to conclusions.

Do let them know you're there

You know you'll be there for them no matter what, but do they? Create an open environment wherein all family members can feel free to discuss what's on their mind without fear of being judged. We can't guide our children through all aspects of life, but we can be on-call for support. Let your teen learn from their own mistakes and make sure you're there to talk about whatever's gone wrong when they're ready.

Do keep calm and consistent

Teenagers' behaviour can be notoriously bad-tempered and unpredictable, but the last thing to help is you fanning the flames with similar behaviour. However frustrating it seems, it's worth biting your tongue when things get heated. Keeping calm will help them to do the same and eventually encourage more open and level-headed communication. If you do say anything in anger to them, take steps to clear the storm by apologising and explaining why you were upset.

Do have fun together

Time-wise, we're talking about quality over quantity. Even if other commitments only leave you with the odd half an hour here and there, then so be it just make the most of what you've got. It can be as simple as going out for a meal or watching a film together. Ask them what they'd like to do and, importantly, make sure you enjoy it too.

Don't nag
In a recent survey*, around half the number of teenagers questioned advised parents not to nag their teens. It can be tempting to nag, especially when we feel frustrated. However, the bottom line is that at whatever age we all resent a nagger. Avoid focusing on the bad stuff and try to use 30

more positive language to offer encouragement instead. So, rather than moaning at them to stop watching TV and do their homework, change tack and suggest recording programmes so they can be watched after an hour's worth of studying. And perhaps bring them a cuppa and a biscuit to help them along. A bit of friendly bribery might just do the trick!

Don't try to change them

Your teenager is a unique individual at an advanced stage of personal development. It can be a confusing enough period of self-discovery without having parents trying to push you into corners where you just don't fit. Accept your teen as they are, and celebrate their personalities and interests rather than overlooking or being ashamed of them.

Don't take things personally

Teens tend to say things in the heat of the moment. At a time when their hormones are running riot, it's easy for a normal conversation to flare up over something that might seem trivial to you. In many ways, teens have to blow a fuse a few times to learn how to control their feelings and express themselves more constructively. So stay calm at all times and lead by example.

Don't shout
Your voice may be louder, but this doesn't mean they will listen to you any better or indeed respect you any more. Any show of aggression is likely to be counter-productive; it can push them away further or even make them display aggressive behaviour themselves.

Don't preach
You might have the wisdom of age and experience, but don't forget that an essential process along the journey to adulthood is choosing your own paths and learning to overcome mistakes. Be there to guide them through any difficult life choices, but resist any assumption that you 'know best'. In particular, avoid using patronising language, such as saying anything along the lines of 'When I was your age...' If you do this you'll sound like an annoying old fart; in which case, how will your advice sound relevant to them?

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The Secret
I've Been There! My older children became teenagers (with still more teenagers coming) during a very difficult time. My marriage was dissolving. The children were not doing well in school; for a couple of years, they weren't even attending. My husband had limited work, and we had no money. Daily, things grew worse. Eventually my husband and I separated, and the load was totally on me to make things work. Soon I had to deal with things such as no heat in the house because I didn't have the money to buy fuel. I gathered wood scraps from a construction site and burned them in the fireplace to warm the house. Our landlady was trying to evict us even though our rent was paid. Now that there was no man around the house to fix things up for free, it seemed she wanted someone else to live there. My children were not dealing well with the chaos which was everywhere in their lives. Looking back, I have no idea how we made it through it all, but we did. When I finally gained a divorce, with sole custody of seven children, we all relocated to a different state where we could get a brand-new start. I was a single mother with seven children, three of them teenagers, two of them preschoolers. Our family savings was the change we found under the sofa cushions. With no income or child support, I had to rely on government welfare to provide the basic necessities for my family. Since I had no marketable job skills, I enrolled in college as a full-time student. This was very difficult, since I had to put my younger children in daycare-something I had never done before. All this change and disruption was very confusing for my children. They weren't happy, especially my teenagers who had become angry and resentful. I could see in their eyes how they felt: This is all your fault, Mom, that we're in this mess! At this point, something snapped inside me. I realized that I did not want my kids' lives to suffer because of some of my past choices. In fact, I wanted to help them have lives that were better than mine. I wanted to empower them. I needed to find a way to accomplish this. Stretched to the Limit and Beyond I had been a stay-at-home mom and out of the workplace for years. My physical, financial and emotional resources were stretched to the limit. I had no choice but to go back to school full time, even though I knew that the demands on my time and energy would be enormous. In addition to commuting to classes and doing schoolwork, I did all the household and parenting tasks. Whenever anything in the house broke, I was the one who fixed it. Whenever the kids had to go somewhere, I was the one who took them. The entire responsibility for raising seven children was mine alone. My teenagers especially needed more and more of my attention. All their problems, demands, concerns and self-absorptions were directed at me. They had a lot of anger because our family was apart and we were moving again. I had policemen at my door because my son was messing around with some of his friends. I couldn't keep a handle on everything by doing things the way I 32

had in the past. My older kids were headed down a road that needed to be changed. We had problems and I needed solutions-yesterday. I began by turning to the experts. What I soon learned was that the experts usually gave complicated, long-winded instructions on how to raise teenagers. But surprisingly, many had no firsthand experience with teens. One self-proclaimed expert I saw on a talk show had all the proper credentials, yet he hadn't been married or had kids. He had some good ideas, but I couldn't even begin to relate to him. This seemed crazy to me, but the demands of my situation made me press on for solutions. When I read books promising answers, it often seemed that they never really got to the point. I remember one book in particular (one of the better ones, actually) that went through a twelve-step process on cooperative problem-solving with your teenagers, with page after page of technical explanations. Not very helpful. I didn't have the time or patience to read through it all and to try to apply it. I believed there had to be a better way, one that a busy, pressured parent like myself could use. Mother Invention I've heard that necessity is the mother of invention. I had a very real, urgent need for an effective and easy way to deal with my teenagers and help their lives (and mine) work better. I filled that need by developing an approach of my own. It's a simple, straightforward one that works with my own children, and works very well. Today my children are thriving. My two older ones are members of the National Honor Society and Who's Who Among High School Students, and they both received scholarships to the National Young Leaders Conference in Washington, D.C. My oldest son recently finished a term working as a page in the Idaho State Legislature and is now attending Princeton University on a full four-year scholarship. My oldest daughter graduated with high honors and was a speaker at her graduation. She also was selected to attend Girls' State, a week-long program at the State Capitol in which select girls, chosen to represent all parts of the state, learn about the legislative process. Last year she was first runner-up in the county Junior Miss Pageant and received scholarships in four categories. My younger children are now working toward similar achievements. But most importantly, our home is more peaceful and my children are learning to be responsible members of the family. What's really incredible is that they are nice people (even as teenagers!), and they are happy. People have asked me what I did to make our family life successful. The following pages explain the process I used, which I have developed into a seminar that I give today to other parents of teens. In a way, my approach is from a manager's point-of-view, where getting things to work well is the driving force. This approach is based on five concepts that define our relationships with our teenagers: All relationships are exchanges. Exchanges are run by rules. Some rules governing exchanges are hidden. Put all the rules on the table. Focus on getting exchanges to work. 33

As you use this five-part approach, you will see your teenagers assume responsibility for their lives. They will use their creative energy in positive ways to establish relationships that work for them, particularly their relationship with you. You may not believe it yet, but you will see less contention in your home. Your children will exercise better judgment. They will mature gracefully and be ready for the world when it is time to leave home. Your life as a parent will be more pleasant. Please Remember, I'm Just a Mom Just so you know, I'm not a psychologist, therapist or child counselor. I'm a mom. Yet many of the concepts in this book are colored by my training and interest in human resource development from a business standpoint. As I took classes on these subjects, I began applying the same principles to my family life. I found business management to be a better resource than all the child development materials I studied. In business, the bottom line is getting things done efficiently and effectively. Business is biased towards results and performance-and not necessarily concerned with the why of things. I didn't have the time or resources to give in to the many demands of my children, nor did I want to just leave them to their own devices. I was alone and gone most of the time. Getting my family up and running was my primary motive. To be blunt, getting through each day without a disaster was often all I wanted to accomplish. But, something miraculous happened along the way. By following this management-like path, our family slowly changed. Today, we are happier, healthier, more purposeful people. There is a delightful quality in our home, and my teenagers are all doing great. Throughout this book, I use stories to illustrate my concepts for dealing with teenagers. Many of these stories are experiences from my personal life and the lives of others I know.* Hopefully you can relate to them and use them as reference points in your own parenting adventures. As you read and apply these concepts, please use them in a way that will uniquely benefit you and your family. The choices I used for my children may not be the same ones you want for yours. For example, one parent came up to me after I taught a seminar and said she liked the class but didn't agree with what I wanted from my children. I was sorry that I hadn't made it clear to her that I didn't want to impose my agenda as a parent on anyone. Likewise, the intention of this book is to give you valuable parenting tools, not showcase my ideas of what good parenting is. How you use these tools is entirely up to you and will depend on what you want for yourself and your teenagers.

Reference: http://www.enotalone.com/parenting/4174.html

Chapter 6
Counseling Techniques Step One - Learning the Basic Skills of Counseling Techniques
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Learning some basic skills of counseling techniques (link to Basic Counseling Techniques: A Beginning Therapist's Tool Kit by Wayne Perry) is the first step on our journey. These basic skills include the patterns of sessions, active listening, body language, tone, open ended and closed questions, paraphrasing, summarizing, note taking, homework, the 'goodie bag' and other fun and informative stuff! You will also have an opportunity to "listen in" on a number of sample sessions to see how all of these counseling skills work together. Note: I use the words "counselor" and "listener" interchangeably; also "client" and "speaker." What follows are some simple descriptions. For more information and practice ideas, click on the appropriate buttons on the left hand site.

Introduction to Terms
The pattern of sessions has a predictable rhythm with an introduction, information gathering, discussion and a conclusion. Active listening happens when you "listen for meaning". The listener says very little but conveys much interest. The listener only speaks to find out if a statement (or two or twenty) has been correctly heard and understood. Body language takes into account our facial expressions, angle of our body, proximity of ourself to another, placement of arms and legs, and so much more. Notice how much can be expressed by raising and lowering your eyebrows! You need to monitor the tone of your voice - in the same way that you monitor your body language. Remember, the person may not remember what was said, but they will remember how you made them feel! An open question is one that is used in order to gathering lots of information you ask it with the intent of getting a long answer. A closed question is one used to gather specific information it can normally be answered with either a single word or a short phrase. Good counseling techniques to know! Paraphrasing is when you restate what the speaker said. Often different works are used and the listener may be using this to draw attention to a particular concern or aspect. Sometimes paraphrasing is used to clarify. Summarizing is focusing on the main points of a presentation or conversation in order to highlight them. At the same time you are giving the gist, you are checking to see if you are accurate.

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Notetaking is the practice of writing down pieces of information, often in an shorthand and messy manner. The listener needs to be discreet and not disturb the flow of thought, speech or body language of the speaker. Homework? Absolutely! When the person identifies a need or concern, she or he must be willing to work hard at addressing it. This is much like what you are doing right now. You want to learn counseling techniques, so you are going to study and practice these basic skills! The Goodie Bag and Other Fun and Informative Stuff help make a counseling session an occasion for joy, as well as for additional learning.

Putting It All Together

Once you have reviewed Counseling Techniques I encourage you to "listen in" on Sample Sessions One and Four - to see how these could be used in an initial and subsequent visit.

Module One The Psychology of Communication

On the limits of the process of communication and the central role of interpretation Communication is about using symbols and in case of humans, using language, to convey meanings and ideas between individuals and it involves the act of evoking reactions from other individuals. Human communication is marked by intention and anticipation of the reactions and communication in humans can be verbal when mediated by language or non-verbal when no language is involved. Communication can also be direct when a certain pattern of behavior evokes a particular type of response or subtle and indirect when behaviors are not predictable or ambiguous and not even completely comprehensible. Thus communication is separated into certain distinct categories such as: 1. Direct and Indirect communication 2. Verbal and non-verbal communication Any direct communication can be both verbal and non-verbal just as indirect communication can also be verbal or non verbal. Verbal communication can again be direct or indirect and similarly non verbal communication can also be either direct or indirect. So let's say there are four types of communication patterns in humans 36

- verbal and direct, verbal and indirect, non-verbal and direct, non-verbal and indirect. Examples of verbal and direct would be saying things that are straightforward or unambiguous and with no hidden or incomprehensible messages. These are verbal expressions of emotions and ideas as they occur. Like when you are happy and say that you are happy, you are using the verbal direct method of communication to express your feelings. Indirect methods of verbal communication are using subtle expressions such as taunts, sarcasm, hints etc. that can have ambiguous meanings and do not represent expressions of emotions or ideas 'as they occur'. Thus if you are sad and do not say so but imply indirectly, then you are using indirect methods to convey your state of mind. Non verbal communication is about using cues, facial or bodily expressions, body language, eye or hand movements etc., to express ideas. This can be quite direct like say, hitting a person is rather non verbal but direct as it expresses anger just as crying represents sorrow. However non verbal communication can be indirect such as turning away your eyes from a person you feel uncomfortable with or maintaining prolonged eye contact with a person to convey a message. Communication is the basis of human and non-human interaction and we can all communicate with a touch or a sound, a look or a symbol, a word or a sentence and also by doing or saying nothing at all. The body is an important interface in communication and I've discussed this in the psychology of body in which body language is shown to play an important role in communication. We communicate with our mates through intimate body language and sexual interaction is a very important communication tool in humans and also in animals. The psychology of communication will include the different elements or stages of communication in an individual such as 1. Absorption of external information through listening or reading etc, 2. Interpretation of the stimuli received, and 3. Reaction to the information obtained through behavior The three stages of the communication process as in absorption or taking in information, the interpretation or deriving meaning of the information and reaction or responding to the information are facilitated by the following elements:

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1. Absorption or taking in information - is through sense organs and we simply absorb the sounds and colors, the spoken words and all external data provided to us. Absorption is an objective process 2. Interpretation or analysis of information - involves using brain mechanisms and analyzing external stimuli as well as details such as expressions and subtle verbal and non verbal cues, so interpretation is a subjective process 3. Reaction or response to the stimuli - uses physical communication routes such as speech, language or expressions through facial and bodily movements. Reactions are the result of a subjective and an objective process. This is because when presented with certain stimuli we all have a set of predictable responses which are objective but depending on how we interpret the situation subjectively, the reactions might vary to an extent. Reactions can be imitative - you smile when you see someone smiling or it can be just the opposite as when someone tries to look at you and you try to look away. This reaction or response evoked in an individual can become a stimulus for another chain of responses or the stimulus can be a completely separate event or situation. Behaviorists will usually consider communication as a stimulus-response pattern with individuals perceiving the stimuli and reacting to them in the form of communication. Freudian psychoanalysis suggests that communication is directly related to how we subjectively perceive the external information based on our own experiences. So 'interpretation' of external stimuli or the mediation of the individual mind is the most important aspect of communication according to psychoanalysis, although behaviorists will completely eliminate the importance of the 'interpretation' part considering communication as nothing but a series of mechanical 'stimulus-response' pattern. Thus according to behavioral psychology, we perceive an object and react to it via communication almost like a computer program. It sounds strange that the importance of mind and consciousness in communication has only been recently acknowledged in 'scientific' psychology. The methods of communication are also equally interesting as humans communicate through the written word and the spoken word and through letters, messages, phone calls, personal face to face conversation, through glances and physical contact, through sex, and on a wider scale through seminars, conferences, news events, newspapers, press releases, books, brochures, and campaigning or propaganda. The newer methods of communication using information technology are via chats and chatrooms, internet and emails, text messages, forums, blogging and 38

networking. Technology has opened up new avenues of communication and the world is now completely dependent on how far and how quickly people are able to communicate. Communication is central to our modern life, yet it is a difficult and complicated process and a gap remains between the ideas communicated and the ideas perceived. This communication gap as it is generally called is closed only with proper consideration of all verbal, non verbal, indirect and direct elements of the communication process. So in a personal or business meeting the communication process involves not just presentation of the ideas of people verbally but also the non verbal facial and bodily expressions. The purpose of communication is almost always motivated or intentional as we naturally expect a response from people we communicate with. In fact all communication is based on anticipation of response from others thus communication tend to have a direction or purpose. However the communication gap can create problems in the process and the purpose of communication may remain unfulfilled when communicated ideas are too vague or indirect. The vagueness increases when channels of communication between two or more individuals are remote or distal rather than proximal. Long distance communication methods such as emails and internet, telephone calls etc. bring in new challenges to the study of communication as we are not able to see the person we communicate with, we find it difficult to 'interpret' the stimuli that we encounter. As I have noted in an earlier part of this discussion, the ability to 'interpret' the communicative stimuli is a very important part of the communicative process and the interpretation or derivation of the meaning of what we hear or see depends on our inherent need for analysis of all indirect body language cues, facial expressions and hints or subtle or subconscious processes. Human beings are intelligent and in most cases do not take all information for granted. The direct face to face communication provides us with a definite sense of what the other person really means and gives us assurance that our interpretation of the communication is correct. That is why the face to face interviewing process still remains the most popular method of communication in a selection process. All online communication and information on the internet are thus prone to misinterpretation as we are not able to interpret the information using the non verbal cues or expressions that are an essential part of the communication process. The communication gap is thus the gap of interpretation as despite a lot of information there is certain dearth of essential information and 39

our mind recognizes the communication process as incomplete. You may chat with a person online for several hours in a day but unless you are able to see or hear his or her facial and bodily expressions, you can never be assured that the communication process is completely authentic. Of course, modern devices such as the webcam have greatly improved the communication process. Yet it is also true that even if we have all the essential cues of communication, the very fact that we have to interpret the information received subjectively, can suggest the possibility of a communication gap. In this discussion then, I simply pointed out that the three stages of communication comprise of certain essential elements and a communication gap is inherent in the process of interpretation either because of our own limitations or due to limitations of technology.

Module Two What is Self Esteem ?

It is the integrated sum of self confidence and self respect. It is how one actually feels about his/her own self.

Self esteem is your opinion of yourself. High self esteem is a good opinion of yourself and low self esteem is a bad opinion of yourself.

Your self esteem depends on many questions:

Is your job worthwhile? Do others respect what you do? Do you? Do you believe you are successful? How do you see yourself (your self image)? How do you feel about your strengths and weaknesses? Are you comparing yourself to others and ignoring the unique value that you have? What do you think of your social status? How do you relate to others? Can you make your own decisions? A lack of choices leads to low self esteem.

What is Low Self Esteem?

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Low self esteem comes from a poor self image. Your self image is based on how you see yourself. Do you think you are a good, reliable, hardworking, honest or friendly person? Do you like what you see when you look in the mirror or do you believe others look better and dress better than you? Low self esteem also depends on other factors like your job. For example, do you value the job you do? Does the job you have help you be happy with who you are? Do the others in your office respect you? Low self esteem feeds your negative thinking and causes you to believe the critcism others make of you. Do you take what others say and not speak up? This can cause you to lose confidence so it is vital to end negative thoughts if you want to build your self esteem. Want to get more info on how you can build your esteem, confidence and inner power in order to achieve success? Then you have to see my free CD "A More Confident You"
Symptoms of Low Self Esteem Typical Physical Characteristics Common personality Traits Has a slack and wilted handshake Timid, withdrawn and self effacing or A weak uncertain voice arrogant and domineering, aggressive A careless and sloppy appearance and fiercely competitive. Humped and sagging posture Pride and boasting Habitually tense unhappy countenance Resentful and complaining Reluctance or inability to meet Rebellious against authority anothers direct gaze Compulsive smoker drinker and talker. Reluctant and unaible to admit his mistakes and indequacies

What is High Self Esteem?

High self esteem is the opposite of the above! If you have a high level of self esteem you will be confident, happy, highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed.

The Importance of Self Esteem

Self esteem is crucial and is a cornerstone of a positive attitude towards living.

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It is very important because it affects how you think, act and even how you relate to other people. It allows you to live life to your potential. Low self esteem means poor confidence and that also causes negative thoughts which means that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges. In addition, it has a direct bearing on your happiness and wellbeing. Read more about why self esteem is important. guidance and counseling, concept that institutions, especially schools, should promote the efficient and happy lives of individuals by helping them adjust to social realities. The disruption of community and family life by industrial civilization convinced many that guidance experts should be trained to handle problems of individual adjustment. Though the need for attention to the whole individual had been recognized by educators since the time of Socrates, it was only during the 20th cent. that researchers actually began to study and accumulate information about guidance. This development, occurring largely in the United States, was the result of two influences: John Dewey Dewey, John, 18591952, American philosopher and educator, b. Burlington, Vt., grad. Univ. of Vermont, 1879, Ph.D. Johns Hopkins, 1884. He taught at the universities of Minnesota (188889), Michigan (188488, 188994), and Chicago ..... Click the link for more information. and others insisted that the object of education should be to stimulate the fullest possible growth of the individual and that the unique qualities of personality require individual handling for adequate development; also in the early 20th cent., social and economic conditions stimulated a great increase in school enrollment. These two forces encouraged a reexamination of the curricula and methods of secondary schools, with special reference to the needs of students who did not plan to enter college. The academic curriculum was revised to embrace these alternative cultural and vocational requirements (see vocational education vocational education, training designed to advance individuals' general proficiency, especially in relation to their present or future occupations. The term does not normally include training for the professions. ..... Click the link for more information. ). Early guidance programs dealt with the immediate problem of vocational placement. The complexities of the industrial economy and the unrealistic ambitions of many young people made it essential that machinery for bringing together jobs and workers be set up; vocational guidance became that machinery. At the same time, counseling organizations were established to help people understand their potentialities and liabilities and make intelligent personal and vocational decisions. The first vocational counseling service was the Boston Vocational Bureau, established (1908) by Frank Parsons, a pioneer in the field of guidance. His model was soon copied by many schools, municipalities, states, and private organizations. With the development of aptitude and interest tests, such as the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Test and the Strong Vocational Interest Blank, commercial organizations were

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formed to analyze people's abilities and furnish career advice. Schools organized testing and placement services, many of them in cooperation with federal and state agencies. Under the provisions of the National Defense Education Act (1958), the federal government provided assistance for guidance and counseling programs in the public secondary schools and established a testing procedure to identify students with outstanding abilities. The U.S. Dept. of Labor has been an active force in establishing standards and methods of vocational guidance, helping states to form their own vocational guidance and counseling services. The personnel departments of many large corporations have also instituted systems of guidance to promote better utilization of their employees. Modern high school guidance programs also include academic counseling for those students planning to attend college. In recent years, school guidance counselors have also been recognized as the primary source for psychological counseling for high school students; this sometimes includes counseling in such areas as drug abuse and teenage pregnancy and referrals to other professionals (e.g., psychologists, social workers, and learning-disability specialists). Virtually all teachers colleges offer major courses in guidance, and graduate schools of education grant advanced degrees in the field. Healthy Self Esteem Childhood experiences that lead to Healthy S.E. being praised Being listened to being spoken to respectfully getting attention and hugs experiencing success in sports/school having trustworthy friends Low Self Esteem Childhood experiences that lead to Low S.E. harshly criticized being yelled at or beaten ignored, ridiculed or teased expected perfect at all time experiencing failures in sports/school

Other sources of Low self Esteem

Parents own low self esteem which serves as the model for the child Lack of recognition and appreciation by our significant others adverse comparison with others Lack of encouragement and motivation to be independent

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Module Three Counseling, Counselors Attitude & Skills,& Counseling Techniques

Counseling psychology is a psychological specialty that encompasses research and applied work in several broad domains: counseling process and outcome; supervision and training; career development and counseling; and prevention and health. Some unifying themes among counseling psychologists include a focus on assets and strengths, person environment interactions, educational and career development, brief interactions, and a focus on intact personalities.[1] In the United States, the premier scholarly journals of the profession are the Journal of Counseling Psychology[2] and The Counseling Psychologist.[3] In Europe, the scholarly journals of the profession include the European Journal of Counselling Psychology (under the auspices of the European Association of Counselling Psychology)[4] and the Counselling Psychology Review (under the auspices of the British Psychological Society). [5] Counselling Psychology Quarterly is an international interdisciplinary publication of Routledge (part of the Taylor & Francis Group).[6] In the U.S., counseling psychology programs are accredited by the American Psychological Association (APA), while counseling programs are accredited through the Counsel for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP). In all 50 states, counselors can be licensed at the masters degree level, once meeting the state and national criteria. To become licensed as a counseling psychologist, one must meet the criteria for licensure as a psychologist. Both doctoral level counseling psychologists and doctoral level counselors can perform both applied work, as well as research and teaching/

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Chapter 7
Reverse Psychology
Reverse psychology is a technique involving the advocacy of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what actually is desired: the opposite of what is suggested. This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional response in reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against.

Instructions
1. Understand that reverse psychology in dating can work to a big advantage. If he is playing hard to get and just wants to be friends, you can say that you agree and just want to be friends as well. Say that you think this is actually better for the two of you and that it is what you want as well. Guys, does she say that she is not ready to spend the night with you? Come back with reverse psychology and tell her that you agree and think waiting is best. 2. Keep in mind that parents are probably some of the biggest fans of reverse psychology. Many incorporate techniques into their parenting style and don't even realize it. Reverse psychology works well with children because many just want to do the opposite of what Mom or Dad is telling them. Use reverse psychology techniques sparingly, though. Overuse can lead to self-esteem issues with your children, so choose your words and situations carefully. 3. Use it at work. At work, reverse psychology can lead to the corner office, salary increases or even a promotion. Salespeople often use reverse psychology techniques to sell a product by making the consumer or client believe they are worse off without it. Establish a strong guarantee and eliminate the risk. Grab attention and let your customers know that you have more to lose than they do through the product or deal. This technique can boost productivity and sales. Trying a new slant never hurts as well. 4. Use reverse psychology on your parents or family. Teenagers often can use reverse psychology to manipulate parents into weekend parties, shopping trips and extra allowance money. Whatever reverse psychology technique is used, be sure to practice and make it believable. Having a reputation as a manipulator is not good, but using techniques to help further relationships for the better can be successful.

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Tips & Warnings

Practice your reverse psychology statements in the mirror to make them sound convincing. Don't confuse reverse psychology with guilt trips. Telling your husband he shouldn't pick up his dirty clothes can come across as guilting into action. The trick is to have the person believe that this is the outcome you want.

Chapter 8
Professional Ethics
Professional people and those working in acknowledged professions exercise specialist knowledge and skill. How the use of this knowledge should be governed when providing a service to the public can be considered a moral issue and is termed professional ethics.[2] Professionals are capable of making judgments, applying their skills and reaching informed decisions in situations that the general public cannot, because they have not received the relevant training.[3] One of the earliest examples of professional ethics is probably the Hippocratic oath to which medical doctors still adhere to this day. Professional ethics is a set of standards adopted by a professional community. Professional ethics are regulated by standards, which are often referred to as codes of ethics. The code of ethics is very important because it gives us boundaries that we have to stay within in our professional careers. The one problem with the code of ethics is that we can't always have the answers black and white. Sometimes there are grey areas where the answers aren't so simple. Professional ethics are also known as Ethical Business Practices. A number of professional organisations define their ethical approach as a number of discrete components.[4] Typically these include:
Honesty Integrity Transparency Accountability Confidentiality Objectivity Respectfulness Obedience to the law Most professions have internally enforced codes of practice that members of the profession must follow, to prevent exploitation of the client and preserve the integrity of the profession. This

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is not only for the benefit of the client but also the benefit of those belonging to the profession. Disciplinary codes allow the profession to define a standard of conduct and ensure that individual practitioners meet this standard, by disciplining them from the professional body if they do not practice accordingly. This allows those professionals who act with conscience to practice in the knowledge that they will not be undermined commercially by those who have fewer ethical qualms. It also maintains the publics trust in the profession, encouraging the public to continue seeking their services. Internal regulation

In cases where professional bodies regulate their own ethics, there are opportunities for such bodies to become self-serving and to fail to follow their own ethical code when dealing with renegade members. This is because the nature of professions is that they have almost a complete monopoly on a particular area of knowledge. For example, until recently, the English courts deferred to the professional consensus on matters relating to their practice that lay outside case law and legislation In many countries there is some statutory regulation of professional ethical standards such as the statutory bodies that regulate nursing and midwifery in England and Wales.[6] Failure to comply with standards can thus become a matter for the courts. For example, a lay member of the public should not be held responsible for failing to act to save a car crash victim because they could not give an appropriate emergency treatment. This is because they do not have the relevant knowledge and experience. In contrast, a fully trained doctor (with the correct equipment) would be capable of making the correct diagnosis and carrying out appropriate procedures. Failure of a doctor to help in such a situation would generally be regarded as negligent and unethical. An untrained person would not be considered to be negligent for failing to act in such circumstances and might indeed be considered to be negligent for acting and potentially causing more damage and possible loss of life. A business may approach a professional engineer to certify the safety of a project which is not safe. Whilst one engineer may refuse to certify the project on moral grounds, the business may find a less scrupulous engineer who will be prepared to certify the project for a bribe, thus saving the business the expense of redesigning.[7] On a theoretical level, there is debate as to whether an ethical code for a profession should be consistent with the requirements of morality governing the public. Separatists argue that professions should be allowed to go beyond such confines when they judge it necessary. This is because they are trained to produce certain outcomes which may take moral precedence over other functions of society.[8] For example, it could be argued that a doctor may lie to a patient about the severity of their condition, if there is reason to think that telling the patient could cause them so much distress that it would be detrimental to their health. This would be a disrespect of the patients autonomy, as it denies them information on something that could have a great impact on their life. This would generally be seen as morally wrong. However, if the end of improving and maintaining health is given a moral priority in society, then it may be justifiable to 47

contravene other moral demands in order to meet this goal.[9] Separatism is based on a relativist conception of morality that there can be different, equally valid moral codes that apply to different sections of society and differences in codes between societies. If moral universalism is ascribed to, then this would be inconsistent with the view that professions can have a different moral code, as the universalist holds that there is only one valid moral code for all.

Chapter 9
Principles of Guidance
INTRODUCTION Ethics mean moral principles that control or influence a persons behaviour a philosophical discipline that is concerned with human conduct and moral decision making. According to Akinade (2005) ethics are normative in nature and focus on principles and standard that governs relationships between individuals, such as counsellors and clients. Aluede et al. (2004) observed that although guidance and counselling service is a relatively new educational delivery service in Nigerias educational system, one may be tempted to think differently because any child born in 1959, the year guidance and counselling is known to have begun in Nigeria would no longer be regarded as an adolescent or a youth. He/she would be full of all maturity and experience to be expected to play very vital role in the society. Omotoso (2008) noted that at present, Counselling Association of Nigeria is yet to come up with categorical, well articulated and widely publicized statements that detail a broad range of practical standards for ethical professional practices that reflect core values of this profession. Such ethical codes for counsellors as ethical value and pragmatic standards which highlight the importance of operating in ways that respect the dignity and worth of the persons served by counsellors (Pack-Brown et al., 2008). There are a number of ethical and legal considerations to be made by any person functioning in the capacity of a counsellor. Lack of awareness or misunderstanding of an ethical standard is not itself a defence to a charge of unethical conduct. Due to the relatively recent origin of counselling in Nigeria, not much practical experience has been gained regarding the relationship that exist between the law and the counselling function in the situation. This study derives much facts from the ethics of American (APA, 2003; BACP, 2002). Ethical consideration: Counsellors are committed to increasing scientific and professional knowledge of behaviour and peoples understanding of themselves and others and to the use of such knowledge to prove the condition of individuals, 48

organizations and society. Counsellors respect and protect civil and human rights and the central importance of freedom of enquiry and expression in research, teaching and publication. They strive to help the public in developing informed judgments and choices concerning human behaviuour. In doing so, they perform many roles, such as researcher, educator, diagnostician, therapist, supervisor, consultant, administrator, social interventionist and expert witness. Ethics code provides a common set of principles and standards upon which counsellors build their professional and scientific work. This ethic code is intended to provide specific standards to cover most situations encountered by counsellors. It has as its goals the welfare and protection of the individuals and groups with whom counsellors work and the education of members, students and the public regarding ethical standards of the discipline. MATERIALS AND METHODS General principles: General principles are inspirational in nature. Their intent is to guide and inspire counselors toward the very highest ethical ideals of the profession. Beneficence and nonmaleficence: Counsellors strive to benefit those with whom they work and take care to do no harm. In their professional actions, psychologists seek to safeguard the welfare and rights of those with whom they interact professionally and other affected persons. When conflicts occur among counsellors obligations or concerns, they attempt to resolve these conflicts in a responsible fashion that avoids or minimizes harm. Because counsellors professional judgment and actions may affect the lives of others, they are alert to and guard against personal, financial, social organizational or political factors that might lead to misuse of their influence. Fidelity and responsibility: Counsellors establish relationships of trust with those with whom they work. They are aware of their professional and scientific responsibilities to society and to the specific communities in which they work. They uphold professional standards of conducts, clarify their professional roles and obligations, accept appropriate responsibility for their behaviour and seek to manage conflicts of interest that could lead to exploitation or harm. Counsellors consult with, refer to or cooperate with other professionals and institutions to the extent needed to serve the best interests of those with whom they work. They are concerned about the ethical compliance of their colleagues scientific and professional conduct. Counsellors strive to contribute a portion of their professional time for little or no compensation or personal advantage. Integrity: Counsellors seek to promote accuracy, honesty and truthfulness in the science, teaching and practice of counselling. In these activities, counsellors do not steal, cheat or engage in fraud, subterfuge or intentional misrepresentations of fact.

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Counsellors strive to keep their promises and to avoid unwise or unclear commitments. In situations in which deception may be ethically justifiable to maximize benefits and minimize harm, psychologists have a serious obligation to consider the need for the possible consequences of and their responsibility to correct any resulting mistrust or other harmful effects that arise from the use of such techniques. Justice: Conusellors recognize that fairness and justice entitle all persons to benefits from the contributions of counseling and to equal quality in the processes, procedures and services being conducted by psychologists. Counsellors exercise reasonable judgment and take precautions to ensure that their potential biases, the boundaries of their competence and the limitations of their expertise do not lead to or condone unjust practices. Respect for peoples rights and dignity: Counsellors respect the dignity and worth of all people and the rights of individuals to privacy, confidentiality and self-determination. Counsellors are aware that special safeguards may be necessary to protect the rights and welfare of persons or communities whose vulnerabilities impair autonomous decision-making. Counsellors are aware of and respect cultural, individual and role differences including those based on age, gender, gender identity, race, ethnicity, culture, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, language and socio economic status and consider these factors when working with members of such groups. Counsellors try to eliminate the effect on their work of biases based on those factors and they do not knowingly participate in or condone activities of others based upon such prejudices. RESULTS AND DISCUSSION Personal moral qualities: The practitioners personal moral qualities are of the utmost importance to clients. Many of the personal qualities considered important in the provision of services have an ethical or moral component and are therefore considered as virtues or good personal qualities. It is inappropriate to prescribe that all practitioners posses these qualities, since it is concerned and developed out of personal commitment rather than the requirement of an external authority. Personal qualities to which counsellors and psychotherapists are strongly encouraged to aspire include: Empathy: The ability to communicate understanding of another persons experience from that persons perspective. Sincerity: A personal commitment to consistency between what is professed and what is done. Integrity: Commitment to being moral in dealings with others, personal straight forwardness, honesty and coherence. 50

Resilience: The capacity to work with the clients concerns without being personally diminished. Respect: Showing appropriate esteem to others and their understanding of themselves. Humility: The ability to asses accurately and acknowledge ones own strengths and weakness. Competence: The effective deployment of the skills and knowledge needed to do what is required. Fairness: The consistent application of appropriate criteria to inform decisions and actions. Wisdom: Possession of sound judgment that inform practice. Courage: The capacity to act in spite of known fears, risks and uncertainty. Legal consideration: Counsellors need to know that there are occasions when their misconduct or omission in the exercise of counselling may very well be actionable by their aggrieved clients and that occasions do exist too, when certain things they may do in counselling can be adjudged as unethical and which in cases of serious dimensions of misconduct may warrant their being proscribed from practicing counselling in Nigeria (Nwoye, 1998). The law about confidential relationship and privileged communications in counseling: Shertzer and Stone (1980) said counselee usually reveal intimate, personal and painful experiences with the assumption that others will not have access to their disclosure without their express consent. This means that a confidential relationship exists making the professional person involved to become obliged to protect the best interests of the client by maintaining it. The obligation here does not have only an ethical connotation but even a legal implication. What the law appears to require in this case is that the professional is not to disclose information shown to him under the setting of one-to-one counselling and also to maintain the professional confidence reposed on him in such relationship. The counsellor is not to disclose such a confidential information (even where accurate) to individual not entitled to it. Also everything about the relationship in written records must be accurately done and strongly safeguarded. However, the confidentiality of information revealed in counselling is indeed not absolute per SE. This is because the disclosure of facts relevant to a litigated issue usually takes precedence over confidentiality in counselling. Privileged communication is assumed to be almost absolute, the communication is usually known to lose its protection where it is discovered that it is for furtherance of crime or fraud.

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That means counsellors may be required to testify to knowledge they derive from their professional relationships with their clients. The law about confidentiality of counseling information in group therapy: One may want to ask whether the sanctity of information revealed in the context of one-toone counselling relationship also applies to information revealed in the context of group guidance and counselling. In group counselling or therapy, the protection of privileged communication cannot be said to exist since under such a relationship, the presence of a third parry is involved. If the information to be concealed is already a shared information that is by persons that make up the group then the court is qualified to address a subpoena to get it testified especially where in doing so, the greater interest of justice is likely furthered. Counsellors keep information revealed in group therapy for ethical reasons rather than legal considerations. The law about libel and slander in counseling: A counsellor should know that there are certain things he may do or say in counselling which would usually be actionable by the aggrieved clients. Among these are the misconduct of libel and slander which is a form of defamation. This involves exposure of the victim to hatred, ridicule and contempt; arid also damaging of reputation. Shertzer and Stone (1980) pointed out that misconduct of defamation involves the invasion of peoples interest in their reputation and good name causing others to shun them or to have unpleasant or derogatory feelings about them. According to Seitz (1964) four categories of conditions may warrant the recovery of money as damages for slander. They are:S Imputation of serious crime in the victim Imputation of certain loathsome disease in the victim Imputation of unchastity in a woman Imputation affecting the victim in conducting business, trade or profession

Counsellors should remember that truth is the only defence for actions against libel arid slander also truthful and sincere consultations about clients with professional colleagues would usually not be taken as instances of slander. Right of privacy law and problem of psychological testing in counselling: The right of privacy is the right to be left alone to be free of inspection and scrutiny of others. Invasion of privacy is the intrusion into ones private affairs and/or exposure of ones 52

paper to the view of others. When it causes one emotional distress, it is actionable. While libel and slander involve false or malicious statement aimed at damaging the victims reputation, invasion of privacy usually arises from truthful but damaging publications. Indeed one area of biggest threat of privacy which has been entertained against counsellors is the issue of use of personality tests in counselling. Personality tests probe deeply into feelings and attitudes which the individual normally conceals. A test could assess whether an adolescence boy resents authority or whether a mother loves her child or be asked to indicate the strength of sexual needs. These are virtually all measures of personality that seek information in areas which the subject has every reason to regard as private in normal social intercourse. He is willing to admit the counsellor into these private areas only if he sees the relevance of the questions to the attainment of his goals in working with the counsellor. When the counsellor has a genuine need of the information obtained, he is not invading privacy. What we should note here is that a counsellor should seek the consent of his client before administering him a test even though such consent may always not be formal. Problem of counsellor malpractice and the law about negligent actions in counselling: The term malpractice means any professional misconduct or any unreasonable lack of skill or fidelity in the performance of professional duties. A counsellor can offend the law in the area of criminal liability in four main ways (Shertzer and Stone, 1980). Becoming accessory to a crime after the fact Encouraging an illegal abortion Being a conspirator in a civil disobedience Contributing to the delinquency of a minor

These legal considerations help practicing counsellors to really be able to determine when they are working or not working under the provisions of the law; and indeed to help them to predict when a negative consequence may follow their actions due to their deliberate attempt to work against the limits set by law.

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Chapter 10
Inside Values Education
Values education is a term used to name several things, and there is much academic controversy surrounding it. Some regard it as all aspects of the process by which teachers (and other adults) transmit values to pupils.[1] Others see it as an activity that can take place in any organisation during which people are assisted by others, who may be older, in a position of authority or are more experienced, to make explicit those values underlying their own behaviour, to assess the effectiveness of these values and associated behaviour for their own and others' long term well-being and to reflect on and acquire other values and behaviour which they recognise as being more effective for long term well-being of self and others. This means that values education can take place at home, as well as in schools, colleges, universities, offenders institutions and voluntary youth organisations. There are two main approaches to values education. Some see it as inculcating or transmitting a set of values which often come from societal or religious rules or cultural ethics . Others see it as a type of Socratic dialogue[2] where people are gradually brought to their own realisation of what is good behaviour for themselves and their community.value education also leads to success.It has values of hard work,how nobody is useless and loving studies. There has been very little reliable research on the results of values education classes, but there are some encouraging preliminary results.[3] One definition refers to it as the process that gives young people an initiation into values, giving knowledge of the rules needed to function in this mode of relating to other people, and to seek the development in the student a grasp of certain underlying principles, together with the ability to apply these rules intelligently, and to have the settled disposition to do so[4] Some researchers use the concept values education as an umbrella of concepts that includes moral education and citizenship education[5][6][7] Themes that values education can address to varying degrees are character, moral development, Religious Education, Spiritual development, citizenship education, personal development, social development and cultural development.[8] There is a further distinction between explicit values education and implicit values education[9][10] where:

explicit values education is associated with those different pedagogies, methods or programmes that teachers or educators use in order to create learning experiences for students when it comes to value questions. Implicit values education on the other hand covers those aspects of the educational experience resulting in value influence osex r learning, which can be related to the concept of hidden curriculum. 54

This discussion on implicit and explicit raises the philosophical problem of whether or not an unintentional action can be called education. Similarly one should clarify the distinction between a teacher and an educator. by: niv Moral education Morals as socio-legal-religious norms are supposed to help people behave responsibly. However not all morals lead to responsible behaviour. Values education can show which morals are "bad" morals and which are "good". The change in behaviour comes from wrestling with questions about right and wrong.[11][12][13][14] American psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg who specialized in research on moral education and reasoning, and was best known for his theory of stages of moral development, believed children needed to be in an environment that allowed for open and public discussion of day-to-day conflicts and problems to develop their moral reasoning ability.[15][16][17] Teacher education Cross has made a start at documenting some teacher training attempts. [18] Living Values Education Programme (LVEP) This project of worldwide proportions inspired by the new religious movement called the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University incorporates twelve values (unity, peace, happiness, hope, humility, simplicity, trust, freedom, co-operation, honesty, courage, love),[19] and has formed the basis of thekiss whole-school ethos approach in schools such as West Kidlington Primary School, Kidlington whose head master Neil Hawkes and Values education coordinators Linda Heppenstall used the work and other programmes to help them form a values-based school.[20][21] The LVEP website lists 54 countries where values education projects are undertaken.[22] Character education is an umbrella term generally used to describe the teaching of children in a manner that will help them develop as personal and social beings. However, this definition requires research to explain what is meant by "personal and social being". Concepts that fall under this term include social and emotional learning, moral reasoning/cognitive development, life skills education, health education; violence prevention, critical thinking, ethical reasoning, and conflict resolution and mediation. Lickona (1996) mentions eleven principles of successful character education.[23] It seems to have been applied in the UK[24] and the United States

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GOOD MANNERS AND RIGHT CONDUCT

Manners make a person to look different from the other. Manner means that respect the other. Today Parent is very conscious about to teach Good manners to their children. So they hire a teacher to teach their children good manner but this all things which you are doing to make a perfect good and well-mannered children is not good. Because if you want your children have a Good manner then you have to make a practice to your child to say "Sorry" "Thanks" etc. Parent always want that their children have Good Manner but they never think that I teach him some Good Things. Today's every parent is busy in their work and children in under eyes of baby sitter. She can't make your child perfect because she is doing her Job she takes your child as her work. Here are some Tips to make Good and Well-Mannered Child 1. Firstly you have to help your child to make a list of Good Manners in their mind. Then only your child is a good mannered. Not pressurize your children to learn anything. Small children's are always curies to learn different things.

2. You can also do one thing go library and select some interesting story book and read it in front of your child after dinner time. And also at the end of the story please tell the moral of the story because moral only make your children manner good. It learns things from the story moral. 3. If your Child is in school age then you can teach your child by some good books. Read it for your children or you can also make your child to read it. It is also good for your children. Also make a good practice of writing, reading, drawing etc. It makes your child practice and also teaches some Good Manners. 4. Also teach some body language to your Child. Ex-if you want to say your child keep quit then you put your finger on your mouth your child should understand your body language. It makes a good habit to your Child. 5. After preparing a Good list in your children mind if you listen any abuse word from the mouth of your child please don't take it in laugh. Please remind your child don't use this type of abuse words or try to delete this type of abuse words from the mind of your children.

6. If you teach in nice way then perfectly your children will be a Good and well-mannered but if you take it lightly then there is a chance that it may happen opposite also. So, care regularly to your child and teach everything which you want to under your eyes if you put your child under baby sitter then it beat your child to teach it is not good for children. Children can learn everything but the way of teaching is Good and lovely. Children's are always hunger of Love and we know that only one person can understand that thing mom. So children learn Good manners from their moms. So it is a responsibility of every mother in this world teach Good manner to their Child.

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ENDING QUESTIONS BY CHAPTERS (To be answered by students only) Chapter 1: Guidance Counselor 1. What is the difference between a Licensed Guidance Counselor to a Graduate of Psychology & other Related Course? 2. What are the advantages of a counselor to its own job? How about the dis-advantages? Chapter 2: Child Development 1. In the chapter it shows that the development from a infant to adulthood are performed and show. Now briefly explain the processes formed in each stage. 2. Write your conclusion about the chapter. Chapter 3: Teen Development 1. What are the developments of a ordinary boy and girl to a teenager? 2. make a conclusion about it. Chapter 4: Dealing with Children 1. What are the different ways in dealing with them? Explain each step. 2. Do harm is needed in the process of discipline? Defend your answer. Chapter 5: Dealing with teens 1. Why do understanding is in need in the process of dealing with them? 2. The dos and donts are not described well. Give another descriptions about it. Chapter 6: Counseling Techniques 1. In each process and module make a conclusion or a Term Paper regarding each. Chapter 7: Reverse Psychology 1. Others say that using reverse psychology in dealing with people are not good. well some are in favor. But in your understanding, what Is your understanding about this, favor or not? Chapter 8: Professional Ethics 1. Make a term paper about this. 2. make further research about Ethics and Behavior Chapter 9: Principles of Guidance 1. What are those? Explain and identify. Chapter 10: Values Education& GMRC 1. How can you apply those in our society today. 2. Make a conclusion about it. Everyone are expected not to get answers from this manual Other Questions/ Activities 1. Make a book report. 2. Make an over-all conclusion.

GOOD LUCK!

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About the Author

LAILA B. QUEJADA RUBIO

Tertiary:

Manuel S. Enverga University Foundation, Inc. BS Elementary Education (General) 1995

Educational Background

Graduate Studies: Masters: Polytechnic University of the Philippines, Open Univeristy Master in Educational Management, Major in School Administration & Supervision. Other subjects are related to Psychology & Guidance. 2013 Doctorate: Polytechnic University of the Philippines, Open Univeristy Doctor in Educational Management 2022

Educational Background
1996 present Department of Education, Lucena City Elementary Teacher 2013 present Sacred Heart College, Lucena City/ City College of Lucena Part-Time College Professor

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