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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO

PURPOSE:

To position conflict as a learning and development opportunity for increasing


self-awareness and enhancing the effective management of self in conflict
situations.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES:

A. Offer a working definition of conflict.

B. Identify the types of organizational conflict and generate workable


solutions

C. Explore how our pre-disposition to conflict and MBTI preferences


influence our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in conflict situations.

D. Outline an action plan to support your ongoing leadership development.

E. Provide a learning simulation for increasing self-awareness and enhancing


your effective self-management in a conflict situation.

WORKING DEFINITION:

“Conflict refers to any situation in which people have incompatible interests,


goals, principles, or feelings.”

~ Conflicts Dynamics Profile, Eckerd College, 2004.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO
Name: ____________________________________ MBTI: __________

In preparing this assignment, we are asking that you write it in a generic


framework keeping all names and other identifying information confidential.

A. Research has identified five types of organizational conflicts, namely – Data,


Interests, Structural, Value, and Relationships. Review the attached list
describing these five types of organizational conflicts. Select one that best
represents one of your current workplace challenges. (See Attachment A)

Type of Conflict Selected:

B. In the space below, write out a brief description of a conflict scenario that
you have experienced or observed in the workplace. Include in your
description responses to the following - Who, What, Why, Where, When, How.

Who (Parties)?

What (Issue?

Why (Precipitator)?

Where (Location)?

When?

How (Approach)?

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C. Provide a brief description of the desired outcome expected from the conflict
scenario described above.

Desired Outcome:

D. Review the last page (Page 18) of your MBTI Report and review the direction
and intensity of the 20 scale facets. (Also See Attachment B)

E. In reviewing your behavior in the Conflict Scenario which of the five facets
from each of your MBTI Type Letters were highly engaged at the time that
this conflict scenario was taking place?

F. How did the level of clarity and intensity of these scale facets influence and
impact the beginning, duration, or ending of this conflict scenario?

Letters Facets / Impact

1. Which preference facets were helpful to the desired outcome?


2. Which preference facets were not helpful to the desired outcome?
3. Which alternative facets could have been helpfully deployed?
4. What thoughts or feelings do you recall experiencing?

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G. Given the above self-analysis (F) of how your MBTI Type Preferences were
operating and influencing your behavior in this conflict scenario, what would
you define as your developmental challenge, opportunity, or lesson learned
from this conflict scenario?

Challenge/Opportunity/Lesson:

H. Given the above self-analysis (F) and challenge identified (G) use this guide to
outline an action plan for this conflict scenario:

Continue Doing -

Start Doing – Stop Doing -

Be More - Be Less -

Do More - Do Less -

I. List 1-3 questions that you would offer to other Leaders to guide them
through a similar developmental opportunity. Present questions that would
promote their self-discovery and be helpful toward their attaining greater
self-awareness and effective self-management in relations with others within
similar conflict scenarios.

1.

2.

3.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO
See Attachments:

A – Five Types of Conflict

B – Exploring the 4-Conflict Pair Dynamics

C – Self-Discovery Questions

D – Excerpts –

 “The Eyes of the Soul” in Coming Home by Martia Nelson,


New World Library, Novato, CA, 1993.

 “Three truly difficult things to do in life…” by Wayne W.


Dyer in There’s A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem,
HarperCollins, 2001.

References:

1. Introduction To Type And Conflict by Damian Killen & Danica


Murrhy, CPP, Inc. Palo Alto, CA, 2003.

2. Effective Mediation Resources, Oregon Mediation Center,


Inc. http://www.internetmediator.com/medres/pg18.cfm

3. “Why Should Anyone Be Led By You?” by Robert Goffee and


Gareth Jones, HBR, Sept-Oct, 2000
https://collab.itc.virginia.edu/access/content/attachment/bbbaba49-d3ca-
4baa-0083-4c429a1fd016/OPENING%20READING.pdf

4. THE CONNECTED LEADER: Creating agile organizations for


people, performance and profit, by Emmanuel Gobillot, Kogan
Page Limited, United Kingdom, 2007.

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO
Attachment A:
Types of Conflict

By evaluating a conflict according to the five categories below -- relationship,


data, interest, structural and value -- we can begin to determine the causes of a
conflict and design resolution strategies that will have a higher probability of
success.

Relationship Conflicts

Relationship conflicts occur because of the presence of strong negative emotions,


misperceptions or stereotypes, poor communication or miscommunication, or
repetitive negative behaviors. Relationship problems often fuel disputes and lead
to an unnecessary escalating spiral of destructive conflict. Supporting the safe
and balanced expression of perspectives and emotions for acknowledgment (not
agreement) is one effective approach to managing relational conflict.

Data Conflicts

Data conflicts occur when people lack information necessary to make wise
decisions, are misinformed, disagree on which data is relevant, interpret
information differently, or have competing assessment procedures. Some data
conflicts may be unnecessary since they are caused by poor communication
between the people in conflict. Other data conflicts may be genuine
incompatibilities associated with data collection, interpretation or communication.
Most data conflicts will have "data solutions."

Interest Conflicts

Interest conflicts are caused by competition over perceived incompatible needs.


Conflicts of interest result when one or more of the parties believe that in order
to satisfy his or her needs, the needs and interests of an opponent must be
sacrificed. Interest-based conflict will commonly be expressed in positional
terms. A variety of interests and intentions underlie and motivate positions in
negotiation and must be addressed for maximized resolution. Interest-based

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CONFLICT-LAB SCENARIO

conflicts may occur over substantive issues (such as money, physical resources,
time, etc.); procedural issues (the way the dispute is to be resolved); and
psychological issues (perceptions of trust, fairness, desire for participation,
respect, etc.). For an interest-based dispute to be resolved, parties must be
assisted to define and express their individual interests so that all of these
interests may be jointly addressed. Interest-based conflict is best resolved
through the maximizing integration of the parties' respective interests, positive
intentions and desired experiential outcomes.

Structural Conflicts

Structural conflicts are caused by forces external to the people in dispute.


Limited physical resources or authority, geographic constraints (distance or
proximity), time (too little or too much), organizational changes, and so forth can
make structural conflict seem like a crisis. It can be helpful to assist parties in
conflict to appreciate the external forces and constraints bearing upon them.
Structural conflicts will often have structural solutions. Parties' appreciation
that a conflict has an external source can have the effect of them coming to
jointly address the imposed difficulties.

Value Conflicts

Value conflicts are caused by perceived or actual incompatible belief systems.


Values are beliefs that people use to give meaning to their lives. Values explain
what is "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," "just" or "unjust." Differing values
need not cause conflict. People can live together in harmony with different value
systems. Value disputes arise only when people attempt to force one set of values
on others or lay claim to exclusive value systems that do not allow for divergent
beliefs. It is of no use to try to change value and belief systems during relatively
short and strategic mediation interventions. It can, however, be helpful to
support each participant's expression of their values and beliefs for
acknowledgment by the other party.

Effective Mediation Resources, Oregon Mediation Center, Inc.


http://www.internetmediator.com/medres/pg18.cfm

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Attachment B:

Introduction To Type and Conflict by Damian Killen


and Danica Murry, CPP, Inc. Palo Alto, CA, 2003.

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Attachment B:

Introduction To Type and Conflict by Damian Killen


and Danica Murry, CPP, Inc. Palo Alto, CA, 2003.

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Attachment C:

The Self-Discovery Questions will be


distributed upon submission by participants
in time for the March 15th session.

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Attachment D:

“The Eyes of the Soul” in Coming Home by Martia Nelson, New


World Library, Novato, CA, 1993.

“My greatest teacher was the experience of living in split realities: personality
and true self. Personality is our daily companion, our conscious self that sees the
world through the eyes of limitation and dutifully keeps us informed about what
we can and cannot do. True self, on the other hand, patiently stands by, offering
the unwavering knowledge that a state of vibrant well-being and unlimited
possibility is our true nature, a birthright that can be lived if we choose to do so.
… True self simply refers to the aspect of our being that is completely aware of
its expanded nature no matter what we may be experiencing at the time.

Whenever we feel constrained, fearful, unworthy, inadequate or anything we


deem to be negative, we have identified with our personality. We can always
choose to view the same situation from the perspective of our soul. “

~ Martia Nelson

“Three truly difficult things to do in life…” by Wayne W. Dyer in


There’s A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem, HarperCollins,
2001.

“The three truly difficult things to do in life are:

1. Returning love for hate


2. Including the excluded
3. Saying ‘I was wrong.’

"As a Witness, you begin to discover that you are not that which you have been
observing; you are not those things that you have been noticing about your body.
Instead, you are the noticer.”
~ Wayne Dyer

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SESSION AGENDA

~ Peer Coaching Simulation ~

10:15 Opening / Overview / Purpose


Organize / Guidelines / Outcomes

10:45 Triad Conflict Dialogue (Round 1)

11:00 Triad Conflict Dialogue (Round 2)

11:15 Triad Conflict Dialogue (Round 3)

11:30 Highlights of Best Practices

11:45 Epiphanies and Take-Aways

12:00 Adjournment

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Influencing Workplace Conflict Project
Page 1

What does success look What is difficult for you What do you want to
like? to discuss? preserve?

Who are the parties What is the worried


What will you use as a connected to your voice inside your head
measure? project? telling you?

Is this project leading What do you find


What will the measure you into uncharted yourself paying attention
tell you? territory? to?

What does your behavior


What won’t the measure What do you need to tell you about your
tell you? learn here? priorities?

How does the selected


measure drive your What are your underlying What are the events
outcome? assumptions? that got you to this
point?

What are you bringing to What moves you What aspect of this do
this situation? forward? you want help with?

How are you being What is inhibiting your What are your rules of
helpful? moving forward? engagement?

What aspect of this


How are you not being makes you What is not being said in
helpful? uncomfortable? this situation?

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Influencing Workplace Conflict Project
Page 2

Who has been included? Can you boil down your What do you have to let
issue into 3 main points? go of or give up?

With x-ray vision, what


Who has been excluded? do you see as the core of What is the impact for
this issue? you? Others?

How well have you What do you want out of How would the issue look
listened? this? differently tomorrow?

How might you likely


What in this situation What do you want others sabotage your best
are you reacting to? to get out of this? efforts?

What can you do to move


What emotions is his toward your desired What feelings are you
triggering? outcome? avoiding?

What do you find


What is the irony here? yourself complaining What is the first thing
about? you need to get started?

What is an outrageous How can you more fully


way to respond to this live this commitment or What is the easiest thing
situation? value? to do to get started?

Where would an optimist


find possibilities in this What are you getting out Where are you making it
situation? of this conflict? hard for yourself?

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Influencing Workplace Conflict Project
Page 3
Is the position that you How are you being
What would going with have taken influenced by your
the flow look like? accommodating? fears?

Where do you feel Is the position that you What is in your way and
stuck? have taken competitive? what keeps it there?

Present your most


What is required for you Is the position that you compelling argument for
to get un-stuck? have taken collaborative? your position?

Knowing what you know Place yourself in the


about your issue, what Is the position that you shoes of the other party
decision needs to be have taken avoiding? and present the opposing
made? view.
Is the position that you Who do you need to
Who needs to make the have taken involve for resolving this
decision? compromising? issue?

What previous Who else do you know


experience with conflict that is facing a similar How can you leverage
could you apply here? challenge? your support?

What if this went


unresolved? What would What ideas could you What is negotiable for
be the consequence? borrow from your peers? you? Other person?

What would a wise elder What strengths are you


in your life say about bringing to this What perspective might
your current situation? challenge? be missing?

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Influencing Workplace Conflict Project
Page 4
What do you see as the What about you very
cause for this conflict What is the desired apparent in this
situation? outcome? situation?

How were you behaving


What are you How are you dealing with at the beginning of the
acknowledging? the emotions? conflict?

How were you behaving


What are you denying? What are the views of during the middle of the
the other party? conflict?

How were you behaving


How would you describe When will you be at the ending of the
your engagement? satisfied? conflict?

What have you done to Is this conflict apparent What is working well?
influence resolution? to others?

What does it feel/look


like when you reach your What questions are What is not working
threshold? unanswered? well?

What are matters on


What is your primary which you are placing What shifts could you
focus? greater emphasis? make in your behavior?

How do you measure How will you navigate What have you learned
success? through these issues? about yourself?

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Responding to Conflict

Hot Buttons
Hot Buttons are those irritations and annoyances that can provoke you into
conflict. They are the situations or characteristics in others that aggravate and
frustrate you, perhaps to the point where, despite knowing better, you instigate
a conflict. Interactions with button pushers can leave you feeling demoralized,
unmotivated, powerless, anxious, frightened, and angry (possibly enough to resort
to sabotage or other destructive acts). In the workplace, Hot Buttons can lead
you to be less productive, efficient, organized, and creative; they can also
negatively affect your life outside of work as well as your physical and emotional
well-being.

The Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) contains a section dealing specifically with
Hot Buttons. We've put a portion of this online so you could try it out. The Hot
Buttons are only one portion of the CDP which also deals with conflict behaviors,
organizational perspectives on conflict, and practical recommendations for
dealing more effectively with workplace conflict. We invite you to learn more
about the CDP by visiting other parts of this Web site.

If you would like to take the online Hot Buttons test, please go the link
below and complete the administration.

http://www.conflictdynamics.org/cdp/hotbuttons/index.php

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Hot Button Cooling Strategies
Page 1

Reflective Questions

• Why is this _____ Button hot for you rather than cool?
• How do you want to think/feel/respond the next time you discover that this
Button has been engaged?
• Why might you be reacting this way?
• What else might be contributing to your displaying this behavior?
• In what alternative ways could you behave?
• What are some other cooling strategies that could be useful?

ABRASIVE ALOOF
Rude am I in my speech, and little blessed with The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is
the soft phrase of peace. not to hate them, but to be indifferent to
them; that’s the essence of inhumanity.
~ Shakespeare (Othello)
~ George Bernard Shaw

HOSTILE MICRO-MANAGING
Is a short madness. We should manage this
~ Horace matter to a “T”.

~ Lawrence Stern

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Hot Button Cooling Strategies
Page 2

Reflective Questions

• Why is this _____ Button hot for you rather than cool?
• How do you want to think/feel/respond the next time you discover that this
Button has been engaged?
• Why might you be reacting this way?
• What else might be contributing to your displaying this behavior?
• In what alternative ways could you behave?
• What are some other cooling strategies that could be useful?

OVERLY-ANALYTICAL SELF-CENTERED
A man/woman may dwell so long upon a thought Egotist do not see the world with themselves
that it may take him/her prisoner. in it, but see themselves with the
world around them.
~ Lord Halifax
~ Herbert Samuel

UNAPPRECIATIVE UNRELIABLE
The best definition of man/women is: A wrongdoer is often a man/woman who has
An ungrateful biped. left something undone, not always one who has
done something.
~ Fedor Dostoevski
~ Marcus Aurelius

UNTRUSTWORTHY
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Responding to Conflict
Page 3

Types of Specific
Definition
Responses Actions

Through some effort on • Perspective Taking


Active- the individual’s part, the • Creating Solutions
conflict and tension have Expressing Emotions
Constructive been reduced.

• Reaching Out

Although there has not • Reflective Thinking


Passive- been overt action by the • Delay Responding
individual, the conflict has Adapting
Constructive been dampened or de-

escalated

Due to some action on the • Winning at all Costs


Active- individual’s part, the • Displaying Anger
conflict has escalated. Demeaning Others
Destructive •
• Retaliating

Due to lack of effort or • Avoiding


Passive- action, the individual causes • Yielding
conflict either to continue Hiding Emotions
Destructive or to be resolved

• Self-Criticizing
unsatisfactorily.

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Potential Consequences of Conflict
Page 4

Potential Benefits of Potential Costs of


Conflict Conflict

• Stimulates creativity and problem- • Produces poor quality decisions


solving • Poisons relationships and workplace
• Fosters teamwork and improves with misunderstanding and distrust
social relationships • Disrupts self, others and workplace
• Encourages listening and • Causes anger, fear, defensiveness,
perspective taking negativity, hurt and embarrassment
• Promotes reflective thinking and • Detrimental to building lasting
open communication relationships
• Yields information about people and • Inhibits open communication
situations • Lessens joint and individual
• Signals that changes are necessary outcomes
in relationships or the organization • Instigates aggression and
• Provides the means for expressing retaliation
emotions which can ultimately clear • Harms reputations
air and reduce tension • Derails careers
• •

Conflicts Dynamics Profile: Development Guide,


Leadership Development Institute, Eckerd College, 2004

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