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You drive into the parking lot 5 minutes late for work and notice someone has taken your parking space.
You drive into the parking lot 5 minutes late for work and notice someone has taken your parking space.
Your partner announces they want to end your relationship when you want to continue.
Your partner announces they want to end your relationship when you want to continue.
You go to the grocery store closest to your house to get medicine for your child and they are out of it.
You go to the grocery store closest to your house to get medicine for your child and they are out of it.
Then you have to drive across town to another store looking for it. You have less time to care for your sick child.
You miss your friend and end up feeling lonely. Your friend didnt treat you the way you think she should.
Do you have a model for how to live your life? In this model, are you a victim or do you live a life beyond the drama of the day-to-day and tap into the bigger picture? Is your way of life based on fear, control & abuse of power or on true forgiveness, unconditional love & peace?
Psychologists recognize that there are 3 types of anger: The 1st is HASTY & SUDDEN anger. Its connected to the impulse for self-preservation & its shared between humans and animals & occurs when tormented or trapped.
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
The 2nd type of anger is called SETTLED & DELIBERATE. This is a reaction to perceived deliberate harm or unfair treatment by others.
The 3rd type of anger is called DISPOSITIONAL. Which relates more to personal character traits like irritability.
Think about a recent episode where you experienced anger. Now find the fear, hurt or frustration that is really behind it. Identify this primary emotion which is often the one that goes unnoticed & write steps on how you can acknowledge this primary emotion (the cause) before it manifests into anger (the effect).
By shifting your perspective, you dont have to identify with your emotions. You simply have to observe them and assume a higher-level perspective.
The primary cause of unhappiness is often not the situation but your thoughts about it.
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
Holding people accountable for their actions is not the same as blaming them for how you feel.
1. Acting Loyal: It means complying silently or cooperating without complaining. But if youre legitimately angry its a doomed strategy. Eventually it will sour your emotional connection with others in the name of keeping peace.
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
2. Expressing Anger (voice): Its more difficult but its a productive alternative. You must not only define exactly whats bothering you but willing to help solve the problem.
3. Exit: Exit is the best option in severely dysfunctional relationships. Anger is a good friend that urges us to leave these situations and wont let us feel comfortable enduring this treatment.
Write a specific incident or experience that has caused you pain. Where are you placing blame and are you playing the role of victim or can you see the opportunity for growth in the circumstance?
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
How many of you give away your power to relatives that dont care for you? Or business associates out to harm you? Or lovers who cheated on you? Do you spend time thinking about pain & disappointments inflicted on you? How many of you look backward more than you look forward? Do you find your problems more compelling than your blessings?
MY MOTHER
anger, apology & forgiveness
MY MOTHER MY FATHER
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
MY MOTHER MY FATHER
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
E D A R G D R 3
R E H C A E T
MY MOTHER MY FATHER
passive aggressive co-worker
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
E D A R G D R 3
R E H C A E T
MY MOTHER MY FATHER
passive aggressive co-worker
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
E D A R G D R 3
R E H C A E T
GRIEVANCE STORIES describe the painful things youve endured but not healed from.
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
QUIZ
1. Have you told your story more than twice to the same person? 2. Do you replay the events that happened more than 2 times a day in your mind? 3. Do you find yourself speaking to the person who hurt you even when that person is not there? 4. Have you made a commitment to yourself to tell the story without upset and then found yourself unexpectedly agitated? 5. Is the person who hurt you the central character of your story? 6. When you tell the story does it remind you of other painful things that have happened to you?
QUIZ
7. Does your story focus primarily on your pain & what you have lost? 8. In your story is there a villain? 9. Have you made a commitment to yourself to not tell your story again & then broken your vow? 10. Do you look for other people w/ similar problems to tell your story to? 11. Has your story stayed the same over time? 12. Have you checked the details of your story for accuracy?
Traffic is bad
long line
children fighting
the lady with the stack of coupons who is also paying with a check
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
The way I behave towards the world & others is how the Light of the Creator behaves towards me.
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
The history of errors of mankind, all things considered, is more valuable and interesting than that of their discoveries. -Benjamin Franklin
anger, apology & forgiveness
Kabbalah Centre International All Rights in Media Reserved
To forgive is to set a prisoner free & discover that the prisoner was you. -Louis B. Smeeds