BOBS BURGERS Date Night

Written by: You Know Who

2 ACT ONE: INT. BOBS BURGERS - DAY BOB and LINDA are standing behind the counter prepping up for the day as TINA, GENE, and LOUISE are sitting on the chairs before heading to school. LOUISE Dad, you could do better with the burger of the day. BOB The Eggscellent Choice is not that bad of a name, Louise. Besides, some people put eggs on their burgers. LOUISE Yeah. Old people. GENE Break-y for old folks like you needs the protein! BOB Kids! Enough! This burger is going to sell big. Breakfast in lunch? Thats like, a brunch burger! LOUISE Save it for the old crowd, dad. Im sure theyll be interested. Out of nowhere, Linda joins in the conversation. LINDA What about eggs? That sounds good! BOB Nothing, Lin. Its just the kids calling me old.

LINDA Aw, Bobby! Youre not old. Youre aged to perfection! GENE Like Parmesan cheese! TINA And wine. BOB Thanks, kids. Out of the blue, Tina changes the subject. Bob goes into the kitchen to fire up the grill. TINA Oh, did I mention that I finally managed to get a date with Jimmy Jr. tonight? Linda grows excited. LINDA Oh! Honey, thats great! TINA I remember when I drank espresso, I asked him out on a date and he accepted it, but he reminded me yesterday at school about it.

CUT TO: INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL FLASHBACK Tina is standing at her locker, putting books in and taking books out. As she closes her locker, JIMMY JR. appears.

JIMMY JR Hey, Tina. Could I ask you something? TINA Sure! What is it? JIMMY JR Remember when you asked me out on that date, but I never went? I was just wondering if I could make it up to you tomorrow. I feel sort of bad for not You know Coming out at 5 A.M. TINA But of course! I mean Not that I mind. 5 A.M. was sort of a bad time for the both of us, but you know, I was on a coffee rush. JIMMY JR Yeah.

CUT TO: INT. BOBS BURGERS PRESENT TINA He didnt tell me where we were going, but he did tell me the attire. LOUISE What kind of loser doesnt give details? GENE

5 It must be a surprise! I love surprises! Like the time when Mom found out she was pregnant with me! LINDA That actually was kind of. Bob walks out of the kitchen, turning his attention to Tina, Gene, and Louise. BOB You kids havent left yet? Tina, Gene, and Louise are on their way out of the restaurant to school. LOUISE Alright, alright! Were going!

INT. WAGSTAFF SCHOOL CAFETERIA DAY Gene and Louise are walking side by side to the nearest lunch table. Suddenly, a pair of arms are wrapped around their shoulders. ZEKE appears. ZEKE Whats up, Belchies? Wheres Tina? LOUISE Probably attention seeking. Who knows? GENE Shes a handful! Gene, Louise, and Zeke have found a table, taking a seat not too far from each other. As they set their food down, Zeke gets into conversation mode. ZEKE Lets get serious. Are you aware of my bro and Tina going on a date?

6 LOUISE We had to hear about it this morning. ZEKE Alright, but Im going to need you two to help me out in person. Not just give the details and run off. GENE But thats hard! ZEKE Not really. Face it; I know about J-Ju, you guys know about Tina. Its a winwin deal! LOUISE Well do it for a price. GENE Ten dollars! LOUISE Twenty. GENE Now thats a price you cant deny! ZEKE Could you guys please not charge? Moneys tight where Im from. GENE Waive the fee! LOUISE Fine! You dont have to pay.

ZEKE So, heres the plan. At around six thirty tonight, I want you to meet me at Wonder Wharf. Theyre going to some restaurant not too far for seven. GENE Hes wining and dining the woman! ZEKE I heard his dad owns part of the franchise, so he eats for free. GENE What a bargain! LOUISE Will you just get to the serious part now? ZEKE We have to dress up. Gene falls onto his knees. GENE Nooooo! He sits himself back on the seat of the table. GENE (CONTD) Sorry, you were saying? ZEKE It calls for formal attire, which sucks. So, you gotta put on your best attire to get in.

LOUISE Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. ZEKE Then we got this!

INT. BOBS BURGERS DAY MORT and TEDDY are sitting on the bar stools as they glue their eyes to the television. TEDDY Hey, Bobby. What are you doing tonight? Bob is seen wiping the table. He stops to talk with Teddy. BOB Nothings going on tonight, Teddy. Why? TEDDY I dont know. Im just curious. Say, Bobby. Your burger of the day is scrumptious. A scrambled egg in a burger? Now thats good. BOB Im glad someone appreciates it. The kids didnt really like the idea. MORT Bob, you know adding various foods into your burger could really higher your earnings. BOB

9 Really? I thought that was for other restaurant and not for burgers.

MORT Well, you can make it happen. TEDDY You should try adding in ham and call it the Ill Ham It To Ya burger. BOB Thanks, Teddy, but Im going to pass on that. Besides, Im just going to take it easy today. Its Friday. TEDDY But, Bobby, I could Bob interrupts Teddy from speaking another word. BOB I get it!

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD AFTERNOON Gene and Louise are walking home from school, talking about Tina and her disappearance. They approach the restaurant. LOUISE Its like we didnt have to deal with Tina all day today. Whats her deal? GENE She really likes dates! I dont know what her deal with fruit is! LOUISE

10 Do you not remember what Zeke told us earlier? Gene ponders.

GENE Oh, now I do! From a distance, Tina and Jimmy Jr. are talking. TINA So, Ill see you tonight? JIMMY JR Yeah. Tina waves to Jimmy Jr. as he enters into his restaurant as Tina walks across the street to meet up with Gene and Louise. Tina is seen with a smile on her face. TINA I finally asked Jimmy Jr. out on a date! LOUISE I thought you already told us. TINA Yeah, but I didnt tell you where were going. Its that new restaurant down the street from Wonder Wharf. I forgot the name, but it sounds French. LOUISE How wonderful! GENE I bet their napkins are clothed and the water is really chilly!

11 TINA I hear its a great establishment. Tina walks into the restaurant while Gene and Louise are still standing outside. LOUISE So it sounds French, eh? GENE We cant let Tina find out? What will we do if she does? Gene starts panicking, only having Louise gripping her hand onto his shoulders. LOUISE Stop overreacting! Were going to find out eventually. By following them. GENE Okay, thats better.

END OF ACT ONE

12 ACT TWO

INT. TINAS BEDROOM EVENING Linda and Tina are sitting in the room picking out a nice fitting dress for the event. LINDA I cant believe my teeny Tinas going on her first date! My babys growing up too fast! TINA I cant believe he remembered about it, though. Even I couldnt. LINDA And thats okay! It means he cares for you is all! Other than you know The Pesto family name. Your father cant stand it! Linda chuckles, pulling out a pink dress with puffy sleeves. Linda shows her the dress. LINDA (CONTD) Ooh! This ones nice! TINA No. Linda takes out a fuchsia colored dressed with a matching sash on it. LINDA How about this one? So pretty! TINA Not really. I was after two guys while wearing it. Im a one-man woman now.

13 LINDA Thats my one-man girl! Linda gasps excitedly, taking out a light pink, sleeveless, summer dress. She feels good about this dress since it comes with a very comfortable clothing fabric. TINA Yes. That one. I want that one. LINDA I was hoping you would choose that one. TINA I know I wear pink dresses all the time, but Ive been told that I look beautiful in them. LINDA Youve always been beautiful, honey. Linda pulls Tinas head to her chest in a hug, nuzzling her head onto Tinas head with a smile on her face. LINDA (CONTD) Mommy loves you very much, and mommy cares about you. Now go out there and show Jimmy Jr. what youre made of! Linda lets go of Tina. Holding onto her shoulders. LINDA (CONTD) But not without perfume! TINA Okay. Linda takes the nearby perfume, spraying it all over Tina. Tina coughs in response to how much Linda sprays, but it is only because its Lindas favorite perfume.

14 Meanwhile, Bob sits on the couch watching television with Gene and Louise not present. Linda grabs Bobs attention by walking in. LINDA Ba ba ba ba ba baaaa! And now, heres little miss beautiful Tina! Tina comes walking into the Belcher living room, wearing the light pink dress with a matching belt and white flats. She is shown smiling with excitement. TINA How do I look? Bob turns to Tinas direction. BOB You look great, but Why Pestos son? TINA Dad, Jimmy Jr. isnt a bad person. Besides, he has utmost respect for you, even if his dad teases you. BOB He said that? TINA He even told Gene and Louise. LINDA Speaking of Gene and Louise, where are they? EXT. WONDER WHARF EVENING

Gene and Louise wait outside at Wonder Wharf dressed up. Gene is wearing his tuxedo shirt with his shorts while Louise finds a dressier alternative to her green dress.

15 LOUISE Where is he? Ive been waiting! GENE Its not even six thirty yet. Zeke is seen pacing his way to meet up with Gene and Louise. Taking a second to catch his breath when he does get to Gene and Louise, he takes one more deep breath before talking. ZEKE Glad you could make it! LOUISE No, glad you could make it! Youre late. ZEKE Im actually a minute early. Alright, so, you gotta plan? LOUISE I say we wait for the two to approach, and then we follow them. Tina didnt give us the name of the restaurant. GENE Its like she knows what were thinking! She has tele mind reading thing of a talent!

LOUISE You mean telekinesis. GENE Yeah! That! Louise sighs as a reaction.

16 ZEKE So when you hear footsteps, just hide. Its as easy as that. If they see a shadow, then you know somethin is up. LOUISE We get it.

INT. BELCHER LIVING ROOM EVENING A few door knocks are heard, causing Linda to grow excited. LINDA Oh, Tina! I think your beau is here! TINA Coming! Tina speed walks from her room to the staircase, carefully making her way down to the door. As she opens the door, her eyes widen and she gasps lightly from his appearance. Jimmy Jr. is seen in a white button-down dress shirt alongside a black tie, his hair styled the right way, which looked similar to his everyday hairstyle. Jimmy Jr. is also carrying a dozen roses with a shy, yet small smile on his face. JIMMY JR Hey, Tina. Still trying to take it all in, she sighs.

TINA Hey, Jimmy Jr. JIMMY JR For you, mlady.

17 He smiles a little bigger, handing her the dozen roses. She smiles in response, taking in the rosy scent. TINA Such a gentleman. Tina places the roses into an empty water-filled vase to keep the roses fresh. Tina then turns her attention to Jimmy Jr. JIMMY JR Ready to go? Tina clutches her arm around Jimmy Jr. as an escort. Looking up with a smile on her face, Tina then nods. TINA Of course.

INT. BELCHER LIVING ROOM EVENING As the door shuts, Linda walks in with alcoholic beverages and two wine glasses. LINDA Hey, Bobby. The kids are gone. You know what that means! Party time! Whoo! BOB Not tonight, Lin. Just because the kids arent home doesnt mean were doing that. Linda is filling the wine glasses with red wine to start off with. She hands over the glass to Bob. LINDA But, Bobby. This is one of the only nights to ourselves. Come on! Live a little!

18 Bob sighs, taking a sip of wine. He then unwinds. BOB Oh, I get what youre trying to say.

EXT. CHEZ FEZ DUSK Tina and Jimmy Jr. walk their way to the restaurant. Tina still has a smile on her face, letting her face lift from Jimmy Jr.s arm. TINA Ive heard great things about this restaurant. JIMMY JR Well, its where were going. Tina unclutches herself as the two make their way in. Before taking a step further, Jimmy Jr. runs up to the door holding it for Tina; she smiles in response. TINA Why, thank you. Behind Tina and Jimmy Jr. walk Gene, Louise, and Zeke. After Tina and Jimmy Jr. had walked in, the trio walk up to the restaurants lights. GENE Cheese fez! They must have fez hat shaped pieces of cheese in there! LOUISE No, its pronounced shay. GENE I thought they were serving cheese! ZEKE

19 We gotta go in there. LOUISE Why? I thought we were sneaking on them! ZEKE We are, but we gotta see the action. Thats why I packed on my formal clothing. GENE Which is even better!

Tina and Jimmy Jr. walk into an elegant dim-lit restaurant with the sound of piano lounge jazz playing in the background. The HOST looks up, recognizing Jimmy Jr. HOST Oh, you must be Mr. Pestos son. Allow me to your table. TINA Wow, the service is fast here. JIMMY JR My dad knows the owner, so everything is pretty much in good hands. TINA Thats great to know! The host finds a table for the two, walking away after placing the menus down. Jimmy Jr. then pushes the chair out offering Tina to sit on it. TINA (CONTD) Thank you.

20 Pushing her closer into the table, Jimmy Jr. takes his spot across from her. From the entrance come in Gene, Louise and Zeke. A different HOSTESS walks up to the table. ZEKE Table for three, please. HOSTESS Arent you three the cutest! Allow me to bring you to the kids section! LOUISE Lady, this is big. We know the owner. Im sure hed let us sit wherever we wanted us to. ZEKE Im the owners friends sons best friend if you wanted more info. HOSTESS Okay, okay. Follow me to your table then! As Gene, Louise, and Zeke walk their way to the table, Zeke eyes over at Tina and Jimmy Jr., who are laughing from a distance. Zeke only hopes the two dont notice him. The hostess then shows Gene, Louise, and Zeke a booth with the menus placed down. HOSTESS (CONTD) Enjoy! As the hostess walks away, Louise deeply sighs. LOUISE Yeah, yeah. Have fun with your job. Hey, Im going to use the ladys room. Louise walks away from the table as Gene and Zeke eye at the menu.

21 ZEKE My mouths waterin for that steak! How bout you, Genie in a bottle? GENE Oh man. I didnt even eat! Youre tempting me! ZEKE It comes with french fries. GENE Damn it! Count me in! The WAITER approaches the booth with sincere behavior. WAITER What can I get both of you gentlemen this evening? We have our soup du jour along with GENE Two steak meals! With soda! ZEKE Medium rare! GENE With a lot of fries! The waiter chuckles at Gene and Zekes enthusiasm. WAITER But of course! Itll be ready in no time! The waiter walks away from the booth to give the order. Zeke looks over to Jimmy Jr. who is walking away from the table. Watching this gives Zeke an opportunity. ZEKE

22 Imma go over there and place somethin on the table. Gene raises an eyebrow as Zeke pulls out a pack of mints from his pocket. GENE Mints? Why mints? ZEKE Why not? You gotta pack a mint, bro! You never know what happens on these dates. GENE Oh! Luckily for Zeke, Jimmy Jr. was out of the picture and Tina was too distracted by staring at the bathroom hallway waiting for Jimmy Jr.s return. Zeke quietly places the mints onto the table, getting away with not being caught. Zeke returns to the table satisfied. ZEKE Done and done! GENE That looked like a piece of cake! ZEKE You mean a piece of steak? GENE Mmm. Jimmy Jr. returns from the bathroom about a minute after Zeke placed the mints onto the table. Confused, Jimmy Jr. looks down at the mint pack. JIMMY JR

23 Mints? Hm. Thats odd. They dont give these out until after.

TINA I think its unique! Look, Jimmy Jr., I cant thank you enough for everything youve already done for me tonight. JIMMY JR Its the least I can do. I mean, the pleasures all mine. Tina places her hand onto Jimmy Jr.s hand. Jimmy Jr.s eyes widen in surprise. TINA I dont think any other guy would treat me with this much chivalry. Youre a great guy who Im very happy to have known throughout. Without warning, he places his other hand on top of hers with a smile. JIMMY JR You deserve it. The two smile and focus on each other motionless until the waiter approaches their table with the food. WAITER Grilled salmon? JIMMY JR Yes, sir. Thank you. The waiter places two grilled salmon orders down onto the table. Tina and Jimmy Jr. start eating. Meanwhile at the booth, Louise returns from the bathroom. GENE

24 Finally! What did you do in there? LOUISE Its my business, not yours. GENE Sheesh! Oh man, you shouldve seen what went on! Before Louise knows it, the waiter approaches with two steak orders. ZEKE Hell yeah! LOUISE Are you kidding me? You guys ordered food? Thats like fifteen dollars an entre! Whats wrong with you two! ZEKE We wanted to sink our teeth into meat! Zeke takes an obnoxious bite off of the steak, letting it melt into his mouth as he swallows. ZEKE (CONTD) Cooked to perfection! GENE Mmm! Zeke, my man! You know steak! Louise pulls her bunny ears down in frustration. END OF ACT TWO

25

ACT THREE INT. BELCHER LIVING ROOM NIGHT Bob and Linda are slightly intoxicated, laughing at stupid jokes and whatever is on TV. LINDA Hey. Hey Bob. We should We should go for another round of schnapps. Or absinthe. Your choice. BOB How about How about we mix the two together? I mean it doesnt sound it doesnt sound bad. Linda laughs obnoxiously, taking the schnapps and absinthe, pouring it into her glass. She takes a swig and suddenly loses control. LINDA Now dont put too much absinthe, Bobby. I just Whoa! BOB Let me Let me try it. Bob pours a drink for himself, taking a drink. His eyes widen in excitement. BOB (CONTD) Lin This is This is great! Wow, you should be like a mixologist or something. Linda stands up with her legs wobbling. She holds onto the couch armrests for support.

26 LINDA Hey Bobby! Bobby, look! Im flying! Bob mimics her actions. BOB Let me try. Oh my god, this is fun. Bob and Linda laugh at each other until Linda throws up onto the floor. Bob starts to panic. BOB (CONTD) Not on the carpet, Lin! ISeconds later, Bob starts throwing up, feeling wobbly and woozy himself. BOB (CONTD) Oh God! Im going to pass out! Oh my God! Im falling! Bob collapses to the floor, landing on the pile of throw up below him. Linda screams in fear. LINDA Bobby! Okay Im just Im going to take a nap too. Good night. Linda lies on the floor away from Bob, falling asleep after seconds. Linda is then heard snoring heavily.

EXT. CHEZ FEZ NIGHT Tina and Jimmy Jr. are seen walking out of the restaurant, both with smiles on their faces. Feeling confident, Tina looks over to Jimmy Jr. to start a conversation. TINA Im having a great time. I really am. Tina then lies her head onto Jimmy Jr.s shoulder. Jimmy Jr. smiles in response.

27 JIMMY JR Im glad, but to be honest with you, I thought you were going to say no. TINA Jimmy Jr., why would I ever say no to you? Ive been waiting for this night for just about my whole life. JIMMY JR But why did you choose me? Im not worth it. TINA You are! Jimmy Jr., you have no idea how much Ive wanted this night to happen. Jimmy Jr. is taken by surprise by Tina. JIMMY JR I never knew I meant this much to you. TINA But you do. As Tina and Jimmy Jr. continue to walk, Jimmy Jr.s hand holds Tinas hand, taking her by surprise. Tina looks over to Jimmy Jr. with a grin on her face. He returns the favor by smiling back at her. Behind them is Gene, Louise and Zeke, who were following the duo. LOUISE I still cant believe you clowns wasted thirty-five dollars on nothing! GENE That steak was definitely worth it! ZEKE

28 Hey now, dont go hollerin over food now. You know theyre like a hundred or so feet from us.

LOUISE But we couldve Zeke stops Louise mid-sentence by placing his finger onto her lips. Louise responds with a glare, pulling herself away. LOUISE (CONTD) Dont. Touch Me. Ever. GENE Shes usually like that. ZEKE So what I did was tell J-Ju what to say. He just really wants to kiss your sister. GENE I knew it! LOUISE But Tinas wanted to kiss him again since her birthday party. ZEKE Whoa, hold up! They kissed before? LOUISE Yeah! I was her kissing coordinator back when she turned thirteen, and that kiss was awkward to watch. GENE I was there too!

29 ZEKE Oh yeah, thats right. I remember now. I was his wingman the past couple of times. Tina and Jimmy Jr. continue to walk hand-in-hand on their way back to the restaurant. As it turns out, they were not too far from their destination, but little did Tina know, they werent going to the restaurant. TINA Wait, Jimmy Jr. The restaurants JIMMY JR I have something to show you. Jimmy Jr. gently drags Tina to the Wonder Wharf pier. Not wanting to wait any longer, he takes her to the dock. When Tina approaches, she gasps in surprise as an array of lights guide her through the end of the dock. Candles are lit, as well as rose petals in the shape of a heart. TINA Wow Jimmy Jr., this is beautiful! She runs her way to see everything. Her eyes glow at how well prepared this had been. Jimmy Jr. follows her from behind. JIMMY JR Its not as beautiful TINA But it is. I love it so much! Jimmy Jr. holds onto her hands and looks into Tinas eyes. JIMMY JR No, Tina. What I was trying to say was that It isnt as beautiful as you are. Tinas eyes widen in surprise.

30 TINA Do you really mean it?

JIMMY JR Does this answer your question? Jimmy Jr. takes Tina by surprise by dipping her close to the ground. His lips lean closer into pressing against hers in a kiss. Tinas eyes widen by surprise. Soon, she melts into the kiss. Her arms wrap around his neck as Jimmy Jr.s hands are attached to her waist. Seconds later, he pulls up from the kiss, smiling at Tina. TINA That answered my question. JIMMY JR I was hoping that would. Without warning coming from Tina, she holds onto Jimmy Jr.s shoulders, pulling him in for a second kiss. This time, Tina pops a leg in response with her arms tightly wrapped around him. She pulls away with a light chuckle. TINA Sorry It was the heat of the moment. I was just JIMMY JR I was hoping youd retaliate. TINA Hey, its getting pretty late. We should head home. Jimmy Jr. offers his arm for Tina to wrap her arm around to clutch on. As they head home, the two hug one last time before returning. Zeke, Gene, and Louise are behind Jimmy Pestos pizzeria.

31 ZEKE Hey, thanks again for helpin me with stuff. I couldnt have done it without ya; although, there wasnt much to be done. GENE And thanks again for the food! Ten out of ten! Would recommend! LOUISE Yeah, yeah. Were going to head home before Tina does. Gene and Louise make their way home, just in time to make it in before Tina notices.

INT. THE NEXT DAY BELCHER LIVING ROOM DAY Bob and Linda still remain on the living room floor. Gene, who is in his pajamas, walks in on the two while on his way to get cereal for breakfast. He screams, waking up Tina and Louise. GENE AHHHHH! Mom and Dad are dead! Tina and Louise rush into the living room, only ending up in the two screaming along with Gene.Gene goes to grab the closest phone, yelling to himself. GENE 9-1-1! 9-1-1! As Gene is a second away from dialing 911, Gene hears groggy moaning coming from Bob and Linda. He screams again. GENE AHHHHH!! Mom and dad are zombie-fied!

32 TINA Zombies? Where? BOB No, Gene! Were not! Bob feels a sharp pain in his head. BOB Ow! Linda then wakes up with her hand on her head as well. She groans. LINDA Wha? Where am I? What year is it? BOB Were in the present, Lin. LINDA Oh man. What did we do last night? Bobby, theres schnapps all over. BOB You Okay, you know what? I dont care. We should just drink up the orange juice. LINDA Kids, get your mommy some water. Orange juice doesnt work.

BOB Vitamin C! Waters for babies. LINDA Go! Go!

33 Tina runs to the kitchen the grab a cold cup of water for Linda within seconds. TINA Here you go, Mom. LINDA Thanks, baby. She starts patting on the top of Tinas head. LINDA (CONTD) How was your date? TINA It was amazing. LINDA Aww! Linda hugs Tina tight as Gene and Louise eye at each other with a suggestive smile. LOUISE What did you guys do last night? BOB Does it matter? Louise grabs the carton of orange juice from the table. LOUISE Well Think fast! Louise throws the carton of orange juice like a football to Gene, with Bob frustrated. END OF EPISODE