Contents

voices of south carolina hip-hop: “da Cold War”

April 23, 2009 VOLUME 4 Issue 18
Editor-In-Chief Todd Morehead
todd@columbiacitypaper.com

ARTS EDITOR Judit Trunkos

jtrunkos@columbiacitypaper.com

News.Politics.Commentary
Pg. 10
Design
Kellie Duff

Publisher
Letters to the reader Dear “ear fade” guard 3 Paul Blake
Statehouse report Using numbers to mislead taxpayers 3 paul@columbiacitypaper.com
European Influence Bill Connor is running for Lt. Governor 4 Account Executives
Talkback! republicans making gross generalizations...no kidding. 5 Lucy Murray
regional Touch me father, for i have sinned 5
Mr. Meaners funny money 7
ted rall Spain enforces america’s laws 8
Don’t Panic! Is obama shrinking the u.s. military? 17 Contributors
Ask a mexican not the “wet back” kind 19 Pg. 10 Andy Brack, Graeme Fouste, Harry S. Iarch,

Arts.Entertainment.Etc
Magdalene Kellett, Ismail Lagardien, WR Marshall,
Will Moredock, Ted Rall, Fred Richardson,
Dan Savage, Mike Serge,
Greg Slattery, Michael Spawn, Kingsley Waring
Theater Mission Impossible and 12 Q’s 12
theater Euripides for an entertainment weekly world 13
Soundboard punk/indie/emo/ska/hardcore/metal/rock 14 Quote of the Issue
City Paper pick Electric six at headliners 14 “All your base are belong to us.”
rock and roll crosswords Bloody puzzle 15
ARTS flora and fauna exhibit 16 Cover art by Sahir Lopez
jonesin crosswords Freakin’ A 18 of Piensa Art Company
Sudoku More Puzzles 18 piensaartcompany.com
Savage love Adult sex advice 19
Pg. 13
Columbia City Paper
Advertisers in Columbia City Paper assume responsibility for the entire content of the advertisements. The Call 218-9455 2965 North Main Street
first copy of Columbia City Paper is free. Additional copies are $1 each. Views expressed do not neces- for advertising Columbia, SC 29201
sarily represent the opinions of Columbia City Paper or its publisher. (C) Columbia City Paper, LLC 803.218.9455/ Fax: 803.461.4640
information

1/2 Price
Hookah
3pm-5pm
Mon- Friday
 Letters to the
Dear “ear fade” guard for electric hair
clippers,
I decided to give you a try during a quick
home trim before meeting my wife out for
dinner. Well, now I know why I had been
instinctively wary of you for decades: you
turned me into Gomer Pyle. Forrest Gump
without the bowtie. For Christ’s sake, I look
like a cop!
Well, I guess now is as good a time as
any to use the three weeks worth of sick leave
I’ve built up at work. And better tell the mis-
sus to get my plate to go.
Columbia City Paper
Dear USA World Cup bid committee,
We’re flattered that you included
Williams-Brice stadium as a potential site
for the World Cup in 2018 or 2022. But,
seeing as we can’t even secure an NCAA
tournament in our brand new world class
baseball stadium or basketball arena because
the whole of American college athletics has
boycotted the hayseed state legislators that
our hayseed voters keep electing to run this
hayseed state, we don’t really see the World
Cup happening here.
Can you imagine the potential for a
complete breakdown in U.S. foreign rela-
tions if the Syrian team braved dinner out
in the Vista? Or the cretins that would
lumber toward the State House with racist
Armageddon slogans written on bed sheets
once they saw all those dark skinned people
in jumpsuits and sunglasses walking around?
Listen, it’s flattering, but we’re still at least a
century or two away from being taken seri-
ously on a national stage, much less a global
one.
Columbia City Paper
Reader
Dear Giovanna,
You are one of City Paper’s favorite
local TV personalities. Actually, the favorite
local personality, now that David Stanton is
gone and those Bill Green commercials have
disappeared. Not that those two goons are
even in the same league, I just meant... Aw,
God! I’m blowing it!
Look, I just feel guilty for ducking
around a building every time I see the “On
the Streets” crew. I’m afraid I might not
know if, say, Belgian waffles are really from
Belgium and I’ll just struggle there in silence
with the camera on me and you standing
there with the microphone doing that cute
hair flip thing. Or, worse, that I might choke
and blow an easy question like, I don’t know:
how many days of work Americans will miss
due to allergies in a given year. (3,000,000.
Duh.)
I just don’t want to fail you, Giovanna.
I happily fail my boss, friends, family and
the general reading public on a daily basis.
...But, not you!
Columbia City Paper
Dear guy who tried to sell or trade Gov.
Sanford to other states on Craigslist,
Good luck with that one, chief. You’d
have better luck trading Richard Simmons to
the Yankees.
Columbia City Paper
Sanford uses numbers to
mislead taxpayers
It’s not uncommon to hear in politics how
you can twist numbers to prove just about any-
thing.
That may be part of what’s happening in the
continuing debate over whether South Carolina
will accept $700 million in federal stimulus
money. Gov. Mark Sanford steadfastly main-
tains that the money shouldn’t be used for any-
thing other than paying down the state’s debt.
For many, this might sound reasonable
because they might believe the state, like the
federal government, has a huge debt that looms
over it like a bad alien spaceship.
But is that a reasonable assumption?
Especially if you consider the fact that South
Carolina, unlike the federal government, is
required every year to have a balanced budget?
Hmmm, you might now think, a more rea-
sonable question might be, “What debt do we
really have if we have to balance the budget
every year?”
And so we head into an exciting discussion
of government financing. Seems as if there is
“good debt,” “bad debt” and “other debt.”
“Good debt” is similar to having a mortgage:
you borrow money knowingly so you can buy
a house. In borrowing a large pile and paying
it off over time through a mortgage payment,
you are able to purchase a home. Otherwise, it
would take years to save enough to buy the home
outright. It’s “good debt” because it gives you
=>.<-*B<
Slice Night
$1.25
=1>;<-*B<
2 for 1
Medium 2 toppings
(Dine in Only!)
341 S. Woodrow St.
(Corner of Woodrow and Rosewood)
803.252.6931
By Andy Brack
home ownership now, instead of years down the
road, and provides you with tax advantages and
all sorts of other benefits.
At the state level, such “good debt” is mani-
fest in bonds the state uses to get money now
for big investment projects, such as millions to
upgrade school classrooms, entice large indus-
tries to locate or make major capital improve-
ments. Like a mortgage, the state intentionally
takes on the burden of borrowing a bunch now so
it can do things that are needed and it pays off the
debt over time – usually in around 15 years.
Right now, South Carolina has about $2
billion in “good debt” from general obligation
bonds, according to the State Treasurer’s office.
Because the General Assembly has approved
few bonds in recent years, the state will pay off
half of the bond indebtedness in the next five
years. In 10 years, only 10 percent of the today’s
$2 billion debt will remain on the books.
“Bad debt” for the state, like a family,
occurs when more is owed than can be managed.
Unlike families who are “upside down” in their
mortgages in the current national economic crisis
and owe more than they can service, the state
essentially has no bad debt because it is required
to balance its budget every year.
“We’ve got two AAA credit ratings and
one AA+ credit rating from the three top credit
agencies in New York,” State Treasurer’s office
spokesman Scott Malyerck points out. “If we
had bad debt, we wouldn’t have these high rat-
ings… .It’s easy to confuse people when you talk
about debt numbers.”
So when Sanford throws around numbers that
the state owes $14 billion, not the $2 billion that
most budget folks discuss, what’s going on?
“The balance of that is $12 billion and it’s
all kind of debt,” noted State Treasurer Converse
Chellis. “But it’s all assigned to some kind of
revenue stream that has nothing to do with the
General Obligation bonds we have.
“He’s kind of mixing oil and water and not
sticking to the facts in the process.”
Ahh, imagine that – a politician using num-
bers for his own convenience.
The $12 billion that the state “owes” is “other
debt” because the taxpayer isn’t directly on the
hook for the money. It is borrowing incurred on
behalf of the state that is paid for through dedi-
cated revenue streams – fees, essentially. Three
examples:
South Carolina owes $3.4 billion in bonds
issued to pay for utility improvements through
Santee Cooper. Who pays the debt? Ratepayers
through utility revenues, not South Carolina
taxpayers.
There’s $1 billion owed in Education
Assistance Authority Bonds, which are used
for student loans. The debt is serviced through
student loan payments.
The State Ports Authority owes $133 million
in bonds, which are paid by fees charged by the
port.
Bottom line: Governor Sanford is trying
to win his stimulus argument by scaring South
Carolinians into thinking there is a large amount
of bad debt out there when there really is none.
Why? Suggests Chellis: “He has a different
agenda, maybe, for himself.”
april 23, 2009 3

Bill Connor is running for Lieutenant Governor
Bill Connor is the first Republican candidate to
announce his run for Lt. Governor of South Caro-
lina in 2010. The Citadel graduate served over 10
years as an infantry officer in the U.S. Army and af-
ter returning from Afghanistan in 2008, he decided
to run for public office. Connor took a moment to
chat with City Paper about his decision to enter the
political arena and his thoughts on the states educa-
tion system.
CITY PAPER: You say you once lived in Bel-
gium. Based on your personal experiences in Eu-
rope, is there anything that you would want to bring
to the educational system in South Carolina, if
elected?
CONNOR: You know there was one thing I
liked about the Belgian system. I found it very ef-
ficient and successful that in Europe students make
decisions about their career paths as early as 16 or
17, while they are still in high school and then de-
cide which professional schools they go to.  In other
words, they have to decide to go to Law School
or Med School right after high school.  Their high
schools almost equate to colleges here in terms of
quality – and that’s something that we should aspire
to here.
CITY PAPER: But, don’t you think that what
makes this possible is the fact that high schools in
Europe prepare the students to go directly to their
chosen professional school, while in the U.S., high
schools do not provide adequate education for the
students to do so?
CONNOR: I agree. Here in the U.S. lately ev-
eryone is encouraged to get a Bachelor’s Degree,
which really does not provide a profession.  It be-
comes, in many ways, an extension of high school.  lions of other Americans have also made those hard
Do not misunderstand me:  I will encourage my
children to go to college, but I truly do admire the
Belgian system, where students can go to profes-
sional schools right after high school that prepare
them more effectively for the workforce.
CITY PAPER:  So do you have a plan to assist
education in South Carolina? On your website, you
say, and  I quote: “I will work to Improve our educa-
tion system by focusing more of our state resources
towards the classrooms where they can do the most
good rather than wasteful bureaucracies.” How do
you plan to do that?
CONNOR: K-12 schools need more support
and this is why I propose tax credits, so our citizens
can afford a better education.  I also support char-
ter schools. We’re spending $11,480 per student in
South Carolina on education, yet only 44 cents of
every dollar makes it into the classroom. At some
point we need to stop and ask, “Where is that money
going?” Clearly if teachers, who are not paid well
enough, in my opinion, still have to spend money
out of their own pockets, something is very wrong.  When I was there, first as a Joint Operations Of-
I would tend to look to cut down the bureaucra-
cies at the state level and the school district level
to focus more of those resources on the classroom.  I witnessed first hand the greatness of our country.
I am a Board Chairman of a low tuition school in
Orangeburg. I know how hard it is to make ends
meet – and we provide a good quality education for
around $3,000 per year – that’s less than a third of
Map courtesy of Free Times
what the Corridor of Shame schools are spending
in our area.
CITY PAPER: Have you every visited any
“Corridor of Shame” schools?
4 April 23, 2009
European
Influence
Prospective
on
Lt. Governor’s
Education Reform
Story and photo
By Judit Trunkos
CONNOR: Yes I have. I live in Orangeburg.  As
I said, I saw teachers having to fund school supplies
from their own money just to provide for their stu-
dents.
CITY PAPER:  So comparing some of the West-
ern European ways of supporting education and
health care, don’t you think that more funds from
the government invested in education might help
the school system here in South Carolina?
CONNOR:  You may say that the French health
care system is a success, but I do not want a Socialist
type of government here.  We have a very different
culture here in the U.S. and our Founding Fathers
built this country on the possibility of choice.  As
our Declaration of Independence states, “We hold
these truths to be self-evident, that all men are cre-
ated equal, that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
CITY PAPER:  Yes, but it does not say any-
where in the Declaration of Independence that you
should go bankrupt after a major surgery or begin
your life after graduation from college with a huge
debt…
CONNOR:  Unlike in France, I want our citi-
zens to have choices.  In a socialist type govern-
ment, where the government runs health care and
education, citizens do not have choices.  I want to
give our citizens these choices. By cutting taxes,
they will have more money to pay for their chil-
dren’s education.  Look, I have had to make difficult
choices, as have my family.  I went to law school,
my wife went to medical school, we worked hard
to be able to provide for our family’s needs.  Mil-
choices, and they should be able to work to pay for
an education, for example, without going into huge
debt. As for charter schools, those who wish to en-
roll in a charter school should have a chance and a
choice to do that.
CITY PAPER: You are the first Republican can-
didate to announce your candidacy for Lt. Governor
in 2010. Why did you announce so early?
CONNOR:  I am 41 years old and I have never
run for office before.  It takes time to raise funds and
organize a campaign so I wanted to announce it as
soon as I actually made up my mind.  I did not want
to be dishonest by saying I am “seriously consid-
ering running” for Lieutenant Governor, I wanted
to be perfectly honest and declare it as soon as I
reached that decision.
CITY PAPER: Why did you decide to run for a
public office?
CONNOR:  In early 2007, I volunteered to go to
Afghanistan after the call for officers went out from
the 218th S.C. National Guard Infantry Brigade.
ficer and eventually as the Senior American Advi-
sor in Helmand Province in Southern Afghanistan,
It made me very proud to see the initiative, ingenu-
ity and hard work of the generation of soldiers that
were there and I came to recognize that these traits
are a result of our free system.  After I returned from
Afghanistan, I saw so many people looking to gov-
ernment as the answer to their problems and decided
to continue my work defending our Constitution
here at home.
talkback@columbiacitypaper.com
TALKBACK!
Bumper Stickers and “Petulant Children”
Dear Columbia City Paper,
I guess you simply can’t understand that A
+ B = C. Governor Sanford was elected by a
majority of South Carolinians to protect their
interests and make state government work.
Unfortunately, South Carolina is not a rich state.
We don’t have the money to provide everything
to everyone’s little heart desires. We need to
recognize this fact and focus on basic services
and deficit reduction. Accepting the $700-odd
million in “bailout” money without using it to
pay down debt is criminally stupid.
First, let’s look at the governor’s proposal to
pay down debt. We spend well over 10 percent
of our state revenues to service debt. That is a lot
of money we lose every year. By paying down
the debt, that money we would otherwise lose
stays in the general fund to be used as needed in
the budget. While it is not quite the windfall the
“bailout” money is, it is a substantial amount
and it lasts more than two years. It is, in effect, a
permanent increase in the state budget. In addi-
tion, this reduction in debt improves the state’s
bond rating and attracts businesses who wish to
locate in a stable fiscal environment.
Now, the idea to accept the “bailout” money
seems wonderful on its face. We get a whole
bunch of money to fund new programs to cre-
ate jobs and increase spending for schools. We
will have money to continue funding all the
programs we have now (you know, the ones that
put us so far in debt in the first place). We get
to tread water for two years with no incentive
to make any meaningful changes in government
spending .Uh, gee, it’s a great idea because
the Wizard of Washington (cheap Wizard of
Oz reference) said so –just ignore the man
behind the curtain! We get to put off the Day of
Reckoning for two whole years.
Let’s look at a couple of programs the
“bailout” will prop up (since they are crying
so loudly):
Education: Why are we spending millions
of dollars across the state on umpteen gazillion
school district staffs? Each county should be
a single district with school board members
elected from districts in the county. This would
free up millions of dollars to be used for the
children and help balance inequalities within
the counties. By using architectural templates,
we could reduce the cost of school construction
and again free up money for the children. Why
are we footing the bill for sports arenas and
orchestra pits that rival those of many colleges?
I thought we were supposed to be teaching the
kids? Don’t even get me started on what we pay
coaches in high schools…
Law Enforcement: S.L.E.D. wouldn’t be
in a bind if they hadn’t taken the “rainy day”
fund and splurged on new office equipment and
decor, new tricked-out Tahoes for the command
staff, and high-dollar assault rifles for everyone.
Prisons will not simply close down. And, in
truth we as a state often incarcerate people for
non-violent offenses (bad checks and such)
while allowing violent criminals to be placed on
probation or paroled. By reducing the number
of incarcerated non-violent offenders, we can
save quite a lot of money.
I can go on about the waste in South
Carolina and how we could save millions of
dollars while still providing adequate services.
Unfortunately, the petulant children of South
Carolina (including you) seem to think that
the government is a cornucopia to provide for
your every desire and whim! Like a family on
a budget, the state must set priorities and live
within its means. Our government must look at
services and social programs the same way –get
what you can afford now, and work to afford
more on down the road.
Sanford is right. The state will be better
off paying down the debt and become fiscally
responsible. His detractors (including you) are
playing politics and have failed to support your
case with facts. We as a state and nation have
become soft, lazy and stupid. We expect to be
given the good life without having to put out
any effort and we sell our votes to anyone who
will promise us something for nothing. You
don’t like Governor Sanford because he won’t
promise you something for nothing or tell you
what you want to hear. Your paper is amusing
and worth every penny I paid for it!
George D. Potash
Columbia, SC
For those who may have missed it, Bryan
Alexander’s March 25 City Paper guest col-
umn “Blame Legislators, Not Sanford” (online
version entitled “Stimulus Sleight of Hand”)
agreed with Sanford’s decision to spend the
stimulus money to pay down debt. On the stimu-
lus issue, this paper has given column inches to
both proponents and detractors. ...Aside from
our comments about “hayseeds” and Richard
Simmons. –Ed.
I am glad that I am neither a Republican
nor a Democrat. This is also the first time I
have picked up your paper. I did not apply a
Bush bumper sticker and I do not plan to apply
an Obama bumper sticker. I was unhappy with
Mr. Bush mostly because of the two clowns,
Cheney and Rumsfeld. I also do not agree in
total with Mr. Sanford’s stand on the stimulus
package. But then, I am not a left or right wing
fanatic.
Be careful what you wish for in 2010. Mr.
Obama offered “change.” So far he has not
lived up to it. He brought on warmed-over
operatives from the Clinton administration. So
far many of his nominees have allowed the IRS
to strike pay dirt collecting on back taxes that
they cheated on. The honeymoon is already
starting to wear off. I have heard diehard
Democrats start questioning their choice.
Fortunately for us, we do not have any chil-
dren. I hope you have many children who will
help pay off the debt this country will owe to
the Chinese and support all the freeloaders that
Mr. Obama will provide a secure future for. If
you travel to Norway and Sweden, you will see
for yourself what the future of this country will
be in four to eight years: honest people who
work and pay high taxes so that others can get
regular handouts, even to support their drug
habits. Moreover, the freeloaders get to vote on
whether to reduce or eliminate their handouts.
What a life!
Maybe in 2010, you will not have to peel
off your “Obama” bumper sticker. You can just
change it to “Oh! Bummer.” You may want to
paste this on your bulletin board as a reminder
in 2010 or at the latest 2012. Incidentally, con-
trary to what you guys promote –and what Mr.
Obama intentionally allowed to perpetuate so
he could win the election—he is not an African-
American. He is, at best, multi-racial. His
paternal grandparents were Arab-Muslims. His
mother was Caucasian. These are true facts.
Eruch Tata
Columbia, SC
 Mr. Meaner’s
CRIME WATCH
Subjects are innocent until proven guilty, this is not a court of law
Compiled by Todd Morehead
29201
We’ve come a long way from the days of TVs
Cleaver family and their sleepy neighborhood on
Pine St. in the fictional town of Mayfield. Closer
to our own Pine St., a man happened by his picture
window last week and noticed a neighbor balanc-
ing on the railing of his porch to steal two hang-
ing plants. When police arrived at the plant thief’s
house and saw him sitting in a lawn chair, they
reported hearing his wife comment, “Here come
the police. What did you do?” He was booked on
property crimes, third offense.
1100 block, Beaufort St.
29201
An 80-year-old motorist said he was dropping his
wife off curbside at Palmetto Health Baptist Med-
ical Center when he accidentally pressed the gas
pedal while she was still halfway out of the car.
The woman received a broken hip in the fall.
1300 block, Taylor St.
29202
Dinner was spoiled for a young woman return-
ing to her apartment with a pizza when she ran
into one of her macho neighbors in the apartment
complex parking lot. The man accused her of
hitting his vehicle and driving off and when she
refused to acknowledge his complaint, he report-
edly slapped the pizza box out of her hand. Didn’t
a Steven Seagal movie start that way?
4400 block, Blossom St.
20204
A Two Notch area panhandler thought he hit the
jackpot when a Good Samaritan gave him two
crisp $20 bills. His good fortune was quickly
shattered, however, when he tried to spend the
bills and learned that they were counterfeit. The
cop noted that victim was intoxicated when he ar-
rived. But, who can blame him?
3200 block, Two Notch Rd.
29205
Police say a local rummy was so determined to
get his house key to work that he failed to notice
that the front door – and the entire house to which
it was attached—had drastically changed in ap-
pearance from the time he left it to go to the bar.
He also didn’t notice the frightened family staring
out from its living room window, dialing 9-1-1 as
he continued to rattle the knob. The poor sot was
reportedly still unconvinced he was at the wrong
house even as police were carting him off to their
own little abode off Shop Rd.
2200 block, Blossom St.
29205
Never buy crack with a counterfeit $20 bill ...or at
least don’t be associated with crackheads who do.
One guy learned that lesson the hard way when
the scorned dealer rolled up on him, grabbed his
shirt and demanded his money. The man tried to
explain that he had nothing to do with his friend’s
actions, but the crack dealer disagreed, pistol-
whipped him and took $30 from his pocket.
900 block, Heidt St.
29205
A 20-year-old couple said they were in a car with
the girl’s mother trying to make a turn at the cor-
ner of S. Bonham and S. Ott when a group of
teenaged hoodlums stood in the road blocking
their way. When the motorists attempted to pass,
they said one of the guys kicked the side of the
car, took his shirt off and held up his arms as if
he was ready to fight. The teen reportedly “cursed
continually,” “insulted [the female driver’s] geni-
talia,” and urged the group to continue to a nearby
recreational center where he would meet them
and “fuck them up.”
700 block, S. Ott Rd.
29212
A trendy clothing store called authorities when
they witnessed a man steal four “Ed Hardy” shirts.
Police raced to the scene and arrived in time to
take the shoplifter down in the parking lot. And if
you’ve ever seen a Hawaiian style shirt festooned
with cheesy turquoise skulls and flash art tigers,
well, from a fashion standpoint, the takedown was
for the thief’s own good.
100 Columbiana Circle
CHARLESTON
Lawyers allege wrongdoing in Catholic
sex case settlement
Two South Carolina attorneys have filed
a complaint in U.S. District Court alleging col-
lusion and fraud in connection with a settle-
ment that was negotiated between the Catholic
Diocese of Charleston and a group of sex-abuse
victims who filed a class action suit.
A petition to the S.C. Supreme Court in
December sought “original jurisdiction” to re-
view allegations that implicate church officials,
attorneys and a circuit court judge. The petition
was later rejected.
The current complaint, prepared by attor-
neys David Flowers of Greenville and Gregg
Meyers of Charleston, accuses those involved
in the class action settlement with negligence,
fraud and civil conspiracy. Meyers represented
victims who opted out of the class-action pro-
ceedings.
Diocese officials have so far rejected the
charges.
CHESTERFIELD
Six charged for stealing pine straw from
state forest
The South Carolina Forestry Commission
has charged six men for theft of forest products
from Sand Hills State Forest. State Forest em-
ployees said they began noticing that harvested
pine straw was being stolen. A six-month in-
vestigation found a complex theft ring centered
around the pine straw. One man was sentenced
to 18 months in prison for his role in the theft
ring.
FLORENCE
21 pounds of marijuana found in TV
The Florence County Sheriff’s Dept. has
seized around 21 pounds of marijuana that were
hidden inside a television. Authorities inter-
cepted the box en route to an in address in Flor-
ence County and investigated its contents when
a narcotics detection dog alerted on it. The in-
vestigation is continuing, a police spokesperson
told the Florence Morning News.
ORANGEBURG
Illegally dumped poison responsible for
wildlife kill
Orangeburg County officials said an un-
known liquid chemical improperly disposed of
in a wooded area is responsible for the deaths of
around a half-dozen wild animals. The county’s
hazardous materials team found and unmarked
plastic bucket overturned on the site and evi-
dence of its chemical contents leaked into the
ground.
Residents Richard and Holly Burton
alerted county officials to one dead deer, four
dead buzzards and two dead possums at self-
contained watering hole near the overturned
bucket.
“At first I thought somebody had killed a
bunch of buzzards,” Richard Burton told the
Orangeburg Times-Democrat. “Then I saw a
white bucket with a whole bunch of dead flies
on it. And that right there told me it wasn’t
safe.”
The site has been contained, authorities
said.
SUMTER
Woman attacks convenience store clerk
after disappointment over lottery tickets
A Sumter convenience store clerk told
police that a customer apparently unhappy
with her lottery tickets became enraged and at-
tacked.
The customer, a local woman named
“Toot-Toot,” claimed her tickets had not been
“rung up” properly and began cursing the clerk,
according to the Sumter Item. Toot-Toot then
reportedly yanked the credit card processing
machine from its place and hurled it at the clerk
before leaving the scene.
SPARTANBURG
Man charged with illegally possessing
alligator
A Spartanburg County man charged with
illegally possessing a juvenile American alliga-
tor told authorities he thought the animal was a
caiman. Herbert Dalton Cox, Jr. said a member
of his fiancée’s family bought the alligator at a
flea market, according to the Spartanburg Her-
ald Journal. He said he planned to dig a water
pit and build a pen for it in his backyard.
“My lifelong dream is to wrestle a full-
size alligator and ride a bull in the rodeo,” Cox
said.
april 23, 2009 5
 managing waste
Un-Fair Share Water Bill (S.452, Sen. Paul
Campbell)
South Carolina has no oversight of major
withdrawals from our rivers and streams, while
recurrent droughts, conflicts with neighboring
states over shared water supplies, and population
growth make it painfully obvious that water is
a limited, precious resource. The conservation
community advocates a water allocation bill
that balances public and private needs; S.452
is at odds with the good Fair Share Water Bill
(S.275) introduced by Sen. Hayes because it
would allocate the vast majority of the water in
the state’s rivers, lakes and streams to existing
and future industries, locking it up in permits for
decades to come, giving higher consideration to
future business and industry than to balanced uses
for jobs, drinking water, recreation and tourism.
Last week the Senate Agriculture and Natural
Resources Subcommittee (Sen. Paul Campbell-
Chair, Lee Bright, Chip Campsen, Tom Davis,
Brad Hutto, Jake Knotts, Phil Leventis, Mick
Mulvaney and Vincent Sheheen) worked to
build consensus on an amendment to S.452 that
would use the Department of Natural Resource’s
seasonally variable flows as the minimum
instream flow for the state’s rivers and streams.
Although they were close to an agreement, the
subcommittee was unable to reach consensus,
so members voted to carry the bill over. The
subcommittee will meet again on Tuesday, April
21st at 9:00 a.m. Please take a moment to write
subcommittee members in support of the proposed
amendment that establishes a seasonally variable
mini! mum instream flow.
Conservation Bank: Funding our Natural
Heritage- PRIORITY
Protecting watersheds, working farms and natural
resources is a down payment toward saving what
is special about living in South Carolina. Since
funding for the Conservation Bank comes from
a percentage of deed recording fees, funding
levels fluctuate with the real estate economy.
Unfortunately, the current economic crisis
resulted in drastically cutting the Bank’s 2008-
2009 funding (originally estimated at $15-20
million) by more than 75%- more than any other
state agency. The Bank has protected more than
152,000 acres at a price of $534 per acre in South
Carolina. The Senate will consider the Finance
Committee’s budget this week, which includes
operational funding for the Conservation Bank.
The Senate must approve this operational funding
if the Bank is to remain in existence. Please contact
your Senator and ask him to support funding for
the Bank and its administrative costs.
Energy Efficiency for Residential Construction
(S.719, Sen. Glenn McConnell and Robert Ford)
PRIORITY
Introduced this month, S.719 is a compromise
building codes reform bill that is supported by a
diverse group of conservation, business, builder,
realtor, mortgage lender, and energy efficiency
6 April 23, 2009
advocates. The bill has been referred to the Senate
Labor, Commerce and Industry Committee for its
review. While the conservation community hoped
to not only remove the outdated energy building
standards from the code and insert an automatic
update to the most up-to-date energy efficiency
standards that are adopted by the SC Building
Codes Council every three years, we have reached
a compromise with all of the stakeholders to
remove the outdated language and to establish
the 2006 International Energy Efficiency Code
this year. This simple change will go a long way
to make our state’s residential construction and
renovations more efficient.
In the House
Wasting South Carolina (S.324, Sen. Gerald
Malloy) PRIORITY
Currently, South Carolina has twice its needed
landfill capacity, and if proposed projects in
Williamsburg and Marlboro Counties are built, our
state will soon have three times as much capacity
as it needs. Almost 30% of the waste disposed of
in South Carolina last year came from other states,
and that amount increases steadily each year.
Although revisions to the Determination of Need
are currently before the Legislature, the Statewide
Landfill Capacity Taskforce will need time to
complete a more thorough review of the capacity
issue. This two-year moratorium would apply
to new and expanded Class III “mega dumps.”
Existing municipal landfills looking to expand
and construction and debris landfills would be
exempt.
The Senate passed S.324 the first week of April,
and the bill now resides in the House Agriculture,
Natural Resources and Environmental Committee
The House returns from a two-week recess on
Tuesday, and the landfill moratorium is not yet
on a subcommittee agenda. Now the conservation
community looks toward the House for leadership
on this major Common Agenda priority. Write
Committee Chair Jeff Duncan and urge him to
assign the bill to a Subcommittee for consideration
as early as April 28th. S.324 has to make it
through the House by May in order to take effect
this year.
Building Codes Reform Act (H.3550, Rep. Harry
Cato) PRIORITY
H.3550, the companion bill to S.719, was approved
by a House Labor Commerce and Industry (LCI)
Subcommittee several weeks ago, and this week
the full LCI Committee (Rep. Bill Sandifer-
Chair, Grady Brown, Mac Toole, Carl Anderson,
Jimmy Bales, Eric Bedingfield, Bill Bowers, Joan
Brady, Kris Crawford, Shannon Erickson, Mike
Gambrell, Jackie Hayes, Chip Huggins, Phillip
Lowe, David Mack, Gene Pinson, Tim Scott and
Michael Thompson) will consider the bill and the
stakeholder compromise on Tuesday, April 21 at
3:00 p.m. in Blatt Room 403.
 Ted Rall
BARACK OBAMA, TORTURE ENABLER
Spain Enforces America’s Laws
America is a nation of laws--laws
enforced by Spain.
John Yoo, Jay Bybee, David
Addington, Alberto Gonzales, William
Haynes and Douglas Feith wrote,
authorized and promulgated the Justice
Department “torture memos” that the
Bush Administration used for legal cover.
After World War II, German lawyers for
the Ministry of Justice went to prison for
similar actions.
We’ve known about Yoo et al.’s
crimes for years. Yet--unlike their victims--they’re
free as birds, fluttering around, writing op/ed col-
umns...and teaching. At law school!
Obama has failed to match changes of tone
with changes in substance on the issue of Bush’s
war crimes. “We need to look forward as opposed
to looking backwards,” he answered when asked
whether he would investigate America’s worst
human rights abuses since World War II. Indeed,
there’s no evidence that Obama’s Justice Department
plans to lift a finger to hold Bush or his henchmen
accountable.
“They should arrest Obama for trying to imper-
sonate a President,” one wag commented on The
San Francisco Chronicle’s website.
Fortunately for those who care about U.S.
law, there are Spanish prosecutors willing to do
their job. Baltasar Garzón, the crusading prosecu-
tor who20went after General Augusto Pinochet in
the ‘90s, will likely subpoena the Dirty Half Dozen
within the next few weeks. “It would have been
impossible to structure a legal framework that sup-
ported what happened [in Guantánamo]” without
Gonzales and his pals,” argues the criminal com-
plaint filed in Madrid.
When the six miscreants ignore their court dates
(as they surely will), Spain will issue international
arrest warrants enforceable in the 25 countries that
are party to European extradition treaties. All hail
King Juan Carlos I!
Which brings us to a leaked report by the Red
Cross, famous for its traditional reticence to con-
front governments. Which means that physicians
are enjoined to do no harm. Doctors are prohibited
by their ethical code of conduct from attending,
much less participating in, torture. (What does this
have to do with Bush’s lawyers? Hold on. I’m get-
ting there.)
The Red Cross found that CIA doctors, nurses
and/or paramedics “monitored prisoners undergoing
waterboarding, apparently to make sure they did not
drown. Medical workers were also present when
guards confined prisoners in small boxes, shackled
their arms to the ceiling, kept them in frigid cells and
slammed them repeatedly into walls,” reports The
New York Times.
“Even if the medical worker’s intentions had
been to prevent death or permanent injury,” the
report said, they would have violated medical ethics.
But they weren’t there to protect anyone but th
e CIA. They even “condoned and participated in
ill treatment....[giving] instructions to interrogators
to continue, to adjust or to stop particular methods.”
Charming.
Since 1945, at least 70 doctors around the world
have been prosecuted for participating in torture.
But not Bush’s CIA torture facilitators. Not by this
president. Asked to comment on the Red Cross
report, a spokesman for CIA director Leon Panetta
803.218.9455 replied that Panetta “has stated repeatedly that
no one who took actions based on legal guidance
from the Department of Justice at the time should
8 April 23, 2009 be investigated, let alone punished.” (There’s the
lawyer connection.)
Which is similar to what Obama said
about the torturers: “At the CIA, you’ve
got extraordinarily talented people who
are working very hard to keep Americans
safe. I don’t want them to suddenly feel
like they’ve got to spend all their time
looking over their shoulders and lawyer-
ing up.” Don’t you just hate being micro-
managed when you’re torturing people?
Ah, the great shell game of American
justice. You can’t prosecute the torturers
because their lawyers advised them that torture was
OK. You can’t prosecute the lawyers because all
they did was theorize--they didn’t torture anyone.
You can’t prosecute the president and vice president
who ordered the torture because they have “execu-
tive privilege” and, anyway, who would put a head
of state on trial? What is this, Peru?
What’s the flip side of a victimless crime? A
perpless crime?
It’s a neat circle, or would be if it fit, but drink
some coffee and let the caffeine do its thing and it
soon becomes apparent that it doesn’t come close.
The trouble for the Bushies, and now for Obama--
they’re his torturers now--is that lawyers are bound
by a higher code than following orders.
Yoo, Bybee, Addington, Gonzales, Haynes
and Feith were asked by the White House to come
up with legal cover for what they knew or ought
to have known were illegal acts under U.S. law,
international law, and treaties including the Geneva
Conventions (which were ratified by the U.S. and
therefore hold the force of U.S. law). Since they
don’t deny what they did--indeed, they continue to
justify it--their presumed defense if they wound up
on trial in Europe would be that they were just fol-
lowing orders.
However, the decision in the 1948 trials of
German attorneys immortalized in the fictionalized
film “Judgment at Nuremberg” makes clear that
a lawyer’s duty is to the law--not his government.
And not just his own country’s law--international
law.
The Nuremberg tribunal acknowledged that
Nazi Germany was an absolute dictatorship in which
everyone answered to Adolf Hitler and could be shot
for disobeying. Nevertheless, the court ruled, “there
were [German] restrictions for Hitler under interna-
tional law.” Despite his total legal authority within
Germany, Hitler “could issue orders [that violated]
international law
..” Obeying a direct order from Hitler, in other
words, was illegal if it violated international law.
And German lawyers went to prison for doing just
that.
The six lawyers about to face charges in Spain
didn’t have to worry about Nazi firing squads.
They were rank opportunists trying to advance
their careers in an Administration that viewed laws
as quaint, inconvenient obstacles. Here’s how not
scared they are: Feith recently penned an op/ed in
The Wall Street Journal daring--double-daring--
Obama’s Justice Department to go after him.
“If President Barack Obama and the prosecu-
tors see a crime to be prosecuted, they can act,”
Feith wrote.
One can only hope. In the meantime, we’ll
always have Spain.
(Ted Rall, President of the Association of American
Editorial Cartoonists, is author of the books “To
Afghanistan and Back” and “Silk Road to Ruin.”)

City Paper Readers:
30% make more than 75K/yr.
58% make more than $50,000/yr.
54% are female
64% are ages 25-54
(source: Media Audit 2008)
Call 803-218-9455 for information on
how to reach our attractive affluent and
educated readership. whycitypaper.com
Don’t Panic!
Is Obama shrinking the U.S. military?
YOUR WAR QUESTIONS ANSWERED
by Andisheh Nouraee
On April 6, the Obama Administration
unveiled its proposed 2010 military budget.  criticism or discussion.
Republican condemnation of Obama’s
Pentagon spending plan was swift and
severe.
“It seems the only place the President
is willing to cut spending is on the armed
forces,” said Rep. Tom Price (R-Georgia.).
“President Obama is disarming
America,” said Sen. James Inhofe (R-
Oklahoma!). “Our sons and daughters are
risking their lives fighting an enemy whose
sole purpose is the destruction of our coun-
try and our way of life, while their president
disarms America. And all this to support his
welfare state.”
“And while the nation’s eyes have turned
to a struggling economy, this administration
is taking steps to cut defense spending,” said
talk radio and FOXNews host Sean Hannity
(R-Douchebagistan). “And that noise you
hear off in the distance, those are the mul-
lahs — well, they’re cheering.”
Disarming America? Welfare state?
Mullahs ululating with glee?
Did Obama just propose disbanding
the United States Marine Corps and using
the leftover money to fund mandatory K-
Y Jelly, wine coolers, and Mecca-facing
abortion clinics for every public elementary
school in America?
Not exactly.
And by “not exactly” I mean “not at all”
and “Hannity, Price, Inhofe and their ilk
are ginormous effing liars whose status as
Republican leaders should embarrass rank-
and-file Republicans.”
Get it straight — Obama has proposed
increasing the U.S. military’s annual budget
by $20.4 billion, from $513.3 billion to
$533.7 billion for 2010.
Increase.
Increase means more. As in “more than
the previous year,” and “the opposite of
decrease.” It means spending more on the
military than the United States has ever
spent.
And that number does not include
an additional $130 billion Obama pro-
poses spending on the wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan.
Just like Bush and Clinton before him,
Obama’s budget would see the U.S. con-
tinuing to spend as much on its military as
every other country in world spends on their
militaries combined.
Some perspective: at the moment the
world’s second-biggest military spender is
China. China spends about $120 billion
annually on its military. That’s less than
one-fifth the U.S. total.
And the laughing mullahs . . . Iran spent
about $7.2 billion on its military last year, or
roughly the same amount spent last year by
that great military power, um, Greece.
That Iran spends as much on its military
Greece seems somehow appropriate. After
all, the last time Iran’s military posed a seri-
ous threat to western civilization was when
it attacked Greece — 2,500 years ago.
Just because the loudest critics of
Obama’s military budget are pathological
liars doesn’t mean the budget itself is above
Proposals for individual programs within
the budget reveal Obama wants to re-orient
the U.S. military’s war-making capabilities
away from so-called traditional wars against
other armies.
Instead, Obama wants the Pentagon to
better equip itself for the type of wars we’ve
been bogged down with since 2001 — wars
that require both counterterrorism and coun-
terinsurgency skills.
The biggest signifier of Obama’s pro-
posed shift in the Pentagon’s mission is his
proposal to dramatically slow Air Force
purchases of the F-22 fighter jet.
The F-22 was conceived in 1981 to
thwart anticipated advances in Soviet mili-
tary aviation.
The advances never arrived, and the
Soviet Union itself kicked-the-bucket in
1991.
The F-22, however, lived on. The first
F-22 rolled off the assembly line six years
ago. It joined the active-duty fleet four
years ago.
It’s probably the most technologically
advanced flying thing in the history of grav-
ity, but it hasn’t actually seen a minute of
combat, unless you count its  its appearance
in 2007’s Transformers movie as combat.
Radar-evading, supercomputerized, super-
sonic combat jets aren’t much use against
turbaned hillbillies armed with AK-47 and
Toyota pickups.
Obama proposes capping the F-22 fleet
at 187 and re-directing the Pentagon’s cash
spigot to the slightly cheaper and more
durable F-35.
Obama’s also plans to more than double
the U.S.’s unmanned fighter plane fleet;
the so-called Predator drone planes that
have proven far more capable at dropping
missiles on giggly, cave-dwellers than the
F-22 has.
It’s fair to question the wisdom of
cutting or growing particular programs,
but stating that Obama is cutting military
spending or “disarming America” is a flat-
out lie.
Comments? Dime bag? andy@andy2000.org
april 23, 2009 9
 Vocal Booth: Special Edition
‘Da Cold War, Volume 2
By DJ Kingpin
Following up on the success of the ‘Da Cold War
in 2008, local emcee, Fat Rat Da Czar and DJ Shekeese
Tha Beast teamed up for the second volume in the series
subtitled Da Day Afta. The second installment, due out
April 21, features hard-hitting beats from Cold War
originators MidiMarc, Jah Freedom and Frank Hustle
alongside Beskept, Cap, the Street Side Records crew,
Misfit, Hannibal and others. Fat Rat and Shekeese took
a moment to talk about the new release and reflect on
the state of S.C. hip-hop.
VOCAL BOOTH: Let’s get straight to it. For those
who may be unfamiliar with you and your work, who
are you?
FAT RAT DA CZAR: I am a champion emcee
reppin Hopkins South Cack. I’ve been on the music
scene here for about 15 years doing everything from
running a record label to studio engineering. The better
question might be “who aren’t you?” In that case I
would reply, “the dude you want to rub the wrong
way.”
SHEKEESE THA BEAST: I’m that dude’s DJ.
Shekeese Tha Beast of Hot 103.9, NonStop HipHop
Live, Official Block Banga, and all that. Ain’t much
changed but the climate since the Cold War dropped
...and we about to take that down ANOTHER notch.
 VB: How has South Carolina shaped your style,
sound and view?
SHEKEESE: Well, I was born and pretty much
raised in S.C. I consider myself the best of all worlds,
a little bit of north, a little bit of west, but a whole lot
of dirty south. It has made me a very eclectic person
and DJ, but it has also made me really get on top of my
business being here. With this state getting overlooked
so often musically and dealing with this crab in a bucket
music scene we have here, S.C. helped me to sharpen
my skills and business acumen, as well as my sound.
FAT RAT: South Cack got a funny steez about
itself. It’s almost like a curse when you think about
10 April 23, 2009
the hip-hop/rap community. There is a lot of funny
business going on behind closed doors, which is why
a state full of great talent is so far behind the rest of
the nation, in terms of having a hip-hop artist making
some major mainstream noise. So when a listener
identifies my music as being aggressive, what they are
actually hearing is the frustration of feeling like I’ve
been held back by some powers that really should have
no power at all. That has allowed my style and sound
to slow cook, allowing for more flavors. All in all, the
slow motion has worked to my benefit by allowing me
to sharpen my darts and perfect my aim. So now when
I’m presented with the opportunity, I won’t waste time:
one shot, one kill.
VB: Describe your history as a DJ.
SHEKEESE: Well, I started DJing officially at
the age of 15. An old strip club called Stompers was
my first house DJ gig (I’m sure that was illegal). Before
that I was doing house parties here and there, but once
I watched the DMC World DJ Championships and saw
“It would be nice to get some spins in the hometown, but I
don’t take it personal, this is just the music business. ”
the gold turntables, I was hooked. I actually wanted to be
a DJ ever since I saw the video for Run-DMC’s “Rock
Box” with Jam Master Jay spinning on top of a car. It
was Cut Creator on LL Cool J’s “Go Cut Creator Go”
that had me scratching on my Uncle Jose’s turntables.
VB: Describe your history as an emcee.
FAT RAT: I started wanting to emcee after hearing
EPMD. I was sold on their slow flow and hardcore
funk. At that point I started wanting to write rhymes. I
was going through a few things and writing gave me an
opportunity to talk about it. I came to S.C. in the early 90’s
and that’s when I started getting in ciphers and spitting
the rhymes I’d been writing. Those ciphers gave birth
to the Undaground RailRoad. It was a family of artists
that had a mixture of skills, styles, and backgrounds
, but our ultimate goal was the same – keep the unit
tight first and foremost and get money doing what we
do best: music. From that point I linked with Charlie
Waters and started Street Side Records. That gave us a
vehicle to put our music out. Charlie, Misfit and I, then
formed StreetSide. In 2006 the group took a break and
I got with the only person that had the skills to hold
me down, Shekeese. For the last three years we’ve been
putting it all the way down. Premium Hip Hop with no
fillers. As far aspiring emcees, I recommend studying
the greats. I still do, because there’s nothing new under
the sun. You’re not inventing anything, simply adding
on to a rich culture.
VB: Finish this statement. “South Carolina
has been musically and major label overlooked
because…”
SHEKEESE: Really for the longest it was that S.C.
didn’t have its own sound. When you listen to an ATL
song or a Houston song or a NY song or even Cali, they
had their own flavor. With S.C. being such a mish mosh
of styles, there was no definition. So many people were
pretending to be from somewhere else and a lot of poor
quality artists and poor business practices produced a
poor music market. But a lot of that is changing.
FAT RAT: Shekeese pretty much summed it up.
But we can’t forget the people who had an opportunity
to shine some light on the state, but dropped the ball.
Shameful.
VB: Some say that the problem of S.C. recognition
falls at the feet of commercial radio, so-called ‘doormen
or gate keeping’ DJ’s, false advertising publications,
some selfish local artists, etc. Or does major label
support even matter? Any thoughts?
FAT RAT: I can turn my radio to the local rock
station at any given time and within the hour I will here
some music from the local scene. This is not so on the
urban side, especially with hip-hop and rap. When it
comes to the jocks, most are OK, I guess… shit, I don’t
know. I sat in a mixer meeting with all the WHXT Hot
103.9 DJs about my last single. After I came through
with all types of food and beverage, I had to campaign
for why they should play my record. It didn’t really
improve my spins, nor did I get critical feedback. So in a
situation like that I don’t know what’s really good. Since
they really said nothing to me, I guess I’m supposed to
assume they weren’t feeling it. Maybe I wasn’t friendly
enough with my presentation. Who knows? It would be
nice to get some spins in the hometown, but I don’t take
it personal, this is just the music business.
I am a man before anything, which means I
provide for myself and my family. Therefore it’s my job
to sell music. If radio lends a hand, then great, if not, I
still got records to sell. If one’s goal is to be a recording
artist than you have to find a way to get your product
to the people. That responsibility doesn’t rest on the
shoulders of radio, DJ’s, or a major coming to “save
you.” I mean let’s get real, I ain’t waiting on nobody
to feed me, when I can feed my damn self
VB: From the view of a seasoned veteran,
whom do you feel really needs to look in the mirror
and question their status as S.C. hip-hop royalty and
why?
FAT RAT: You trying to get me in trouble now!
[Laughs.] I mean everybody is somebody now. DJ B-
Lord is the “South Kak Kingpin;” DJ Frosty is the “State
Champ.” Maybe Shekeese should change his name to
Shekeese tha Governor. Hell, maybe I’ll drop Da Czar
and call myself the South Cack Superintendent.
In all seriousness, I have been around a long time,
reppin hard. My first song was played across WWDM
(Big DM) airwaves on “Pick It or Kick It” in 1994 when
there wasn’t that much rap poppin’ off. I was doing this
back when B-Lord sounded like Clue and Doo-Wop.
I got a few mixtapes at the crib now with B getting
busy with all that Wu, Boot Camp, and Biggie stuff. I
was doing this when Davyne was doing booty music
with Dem Boiz. I admired Dem Boiz for having a
big time hit. I remember wanting to battle them back
then, but I still respected their accomplishments. I had
real respect for every single thing that came out of the
state, from Da Phlayva in Charleston, to Dan Johns
& Sab Young in Flo-Town. Then there was Spectac,
Servin’ Mike Ervin, and Geechie Rob. These were all
pioneers. I can’t forget the 5 Cartel boys out of the
upstate, or even WoodSmokeRoc from Orangeburg. I
was there to witness all that. I was there when my man
DJ Paradise dropped “Shake Ya Suga.” What about DJ
Etc., DJ Siza, and DJ Shakim; they were all transplants
like me, reppin’ for the Cack. Even though I’ve had
words with DJ Prince Ice, I could never disrespect
the work he put in or his single handed influence on
a whole generation. And the crews: Shadowrunners,
Sold Out Bums, Da UndaGround RailRoad, Guess
Who, Suntoucha Productions, Steel Village, S-Men,
Non Stop Hip Hop, Beat Junction, Lyrikal, Chuck
Nice Inc. …Damn, just too many to name. and they both laced me with heat. I went outside SC
The fact is this: the names I just dropped are simply
a fraction of the pioneers in this state. I’m proud to be
on that list. One can proclaim to be whatever he or she
would like to, but one should never forget who laid
the foundation for the hip-hop music scene out here,
because it wasn’t just one person. So I would advise
anyone who might think they are running the Cack
or responsible for it’s come up, to keep in mind those
who paved the way.
VB: Some will feel and say that you’re just an
artist being bitter or just trying to start up beef?
FAT RAT: I’m not as bitter as I am aware. I’m
aware of the ways and actions of people that say they
want to unite, but really have no intentions of doing
that. People say anything to get you on their agenda.
If anything, I’ll tell a young artist to beware of snakes
in the grass and don’t do all that crew hopping. Get
with the right people, and if they can’t find the right
people then, roll dolo. Whatever you do, never sign
any contracts without a lawyer present. Furthermore
I don’t start beef, at least not over no damn music. If
any person has a problem with something I said or
did, we should be able to discuss it face to face. We
don’t have to agree, but I will always respect another
man’s point of view. This isn’t “street” business, it’s
music business. Now if it turns in to “street” business,
different rules apply. But have no fear for Da Czar
is most certainly prepared for any encounter of that
nature as well.
VB: In the music industry, truth has become
equated lies. Rick Ross said he wasn’t a correctional
officer, now he’s come out and said that he was. What
you see really ain’t what get sometimes. S.C. seems
destined to follow down this road with too many
numerous acts of buffoonery on the part of artists.
Too much primping and curling. If there is some
knowledge that the now and next generation need to
know, please explain?
SHEKEESE: I have seen a great artistic culture
transform into a ten-second ringtone, a sound bite or
a YouTube video clip. It’s insulting to an artist. I am a
firm believer in calling a spade a spade. You know, in
rap, we tend to make up these personas or characters
that are based on a reality, but it may not be our reality.
Really there is a hyper-reality to any artist when they
are performing. It’s almost like method acting, but it’s
really a part of us ...even me. I’m not always Shekeese
Tha Beast; sometimes I’m like Shekeese Tha Smooth
or Shekeese Tha Funked-out! The problem comes in
when that character overtakes who you really are. You
start to believe you are something you are not, you
become this character you’ve created when really that
character is just one facet of who you really are. People
don’t call rappers on it anymore, because they hide
behind the music. “Oh, he makes great music.” Well,
Milli Vanilli made great music. See what happened to
them after they were exposed?
FAT RAT: Be yourself. Chicks dig it. On top of
that people respect it. At the end of the day you should
want to live free and at peace with the decisions you
made. Nowadays it’s a lot of characters out there.
They are always digging themselves in a big hole.
VB: Speak on the new release, “Da Cold War 2:
Da Day Afta.”
FAT RAT: Well the Da Cold War 2 lands April
21. In Columbia, you can pick up a copy at Manifest,
Scatch-n-Spin, or Papa Jazz. It’s online at iTunes,
Rhapsody, Napster and cdbaby.com. The release party/
concert is scheduled for May 8 at the New Brookland
Tavern. It will be a historic event, I promise. I must
say I am pleased with the direction of the project. It’s
similar to Da Cold War in terms of the vibe, but a little
different in content and at times delivery. I worked
with eight different producers on this joint. Of course
I got back with MidiMarc, Jah Freedom, and Frank
Hustle, who all participated on Da Cold War. I was
also fortunate enough to work with Beskept and Cap.
I never had the pleasure of working with them before
and got a track from my man A-Dot out of Texas. I
closed out the album with a track produced by my
good buddy Justin Smith (Folk-Hop Band), who also
sang on the record. Last but certainly not least, Juice
came through with a couple of burners. Reuniting with
Juice brought back great memories and us full circle in
the realm of production. He was my first producer and
we hadn’t work together in almost 10 years. Fans can
expect to hear hard-hitting beats, sharp lyrics and a
variety of content. The project features the Street Side
Records family: Heazy Boi, Ali-Rah, Mentality and
Met Money, as well as guest appearances from Charlie
Waters, Misfit, Justin Smith, Mike Smith, Dan Johns,
Hannibal, and the introduction of Crystal Nile. During
the past year Shekeese and I have been through a lot,
collectively and individually, in our music careers and
personal lives. The music on this project definitely
reflects the joy and the pain of it all. This joint is for
people who might be going through something, but
refuse to back down. Me myself, I’ll go against a tank
with a shank for mines. I’m dead serious about my
life, my family and my music. So you can call it what
you want, but that sounds like hip-hop to me.
VB: Why should the average ‘Joe’ (no plumbing
necessary), go out and spend that hard earned
recession money on your product?
FAT RAT: Right about now, it’s what you need
to hear. It’s like a plate of soul food on a Sunday
afternoon, as opposed to, a Mickey D’s extra value
meal. There’s a wide variety of flavors but it all works
together well. I’m taking a stand on certain issues,
other issues I let the listener decide what’s best. I’m
holding a mic in some songs, a pistol in other songs
and a fly breezy in one song in particular. Catch me
in the streets and you’ll get my factory direct price,
or you can go to the stores, but they’re going to tax
it a bit.
SHEKEESE: I believe in investing time and
money in worthwhile entities. It’s the same with music.
I wouldn’t spend my hard earned money on a CD I’m
gonna listen to for one or two songs, or for only one
or two weeks. It’s an investment that should last and
there should be a return on that investment. That’s
what you get with Cold War 2: a lasting investment
that whenever you go back to it it increases in value,
straight up.
SHEKEESE: Da Cold War 2 is really something
special man. If you are a fan of good hip-hop, then you
are in for a real treat. shekeese@officialblockbanga.
com, get with me directly.
FAT RAT: To everyone that has supported thus
far I really appreciate you. To the non believers and
naysayers I say, it’s truly been a pleasure. And for
those who have intentionally made moves against me,
your friendly neighborhood Fat Rat will be paying
you a visit shortly. (Check out www.myspace.com/
fatratdaczar)
April 23, 2009 11
 www.colatheater.com

Mission Impossible
Pleasing Mother Courage and her Maker
German playwright the fact that the world was in a state of war for vir-
Bertolt Brecht believed tually the entire 20th century. Pearson selected the
in a concept he called 1950s as a midway point for such retrospection and
“Epic Theatre.” Epic traded in Mother Courage’s familiar horse-drawn
Theatre was an effort wagon for a vintage pickup truck. The truck as
to appeal to the reason universal, familiar symbol serves to ground Mother
12 ?’s with
S.M. Baleen
Amy Holtcamp is an adjunct pro-
of audience members Courage through the course of 12 different locations
fessor in the USC Department of
rather than their “feel- and scenes spread over the course of a dozen years. Theater and Dance. She gradu-
ings.” Some believe So how does one then turn the universal into the
that Brecht’s motiva- abstract? Vetter’s answer initially made me wonder
ated with an MFA in directing
tion to detach sentiment whether he had been playing a bit too much with from the University of Washing-
from the theatrical ex- Transformers in his spare time: “Mother Courage’s
perience stemmed from truck needed to be very realistic and functional. The ton. Her play, “Island of Misfits,”
By Garrett Kellerhals his increasing cynicism truck literally transforms into a variety of functional was recently produced in Seattle
and skepticism from his and symbolic props. I call it my Swiss Army Knife
war-torn country’s misplaced nationalism. Brecht truck.” Beyond that, Vetter’s set is a construct of by Next Stage Theatre. She di-
wasn’t the least bit interested in Aristotle’s notion of translucent panels that represent rubble and ru- rects USC Lab Theatre’s current
patron catharsis, nor did Brecht want audience mem- ins—not as specific as a painted flat, but the sort of
bers to have touchy-feely connections with charac- ubiquitous, war-torn images one is familiar with on production of “Iphigenia and
ters. He instead intended for his plays to inspire pure 24-hour cable news coverage. Other Daughters.”
contemplation and social change. Pretty creative, and about as close to being si-
One might even be tempted to think that Bre- multaneously abstract and universal as one is likely
cht was more interested in his audience “reading” to come. And a design concept that Brecht himself (1) If your current production were an animal, (6) Put in order from favorite to least favorite:
his plays than experiencing them. At the very least, would have admired: just the essential objects, and what would it be? Shakespeare, Eugene O’Neill, Sophocles, Arthur
he wanted audience members to analyze man, or beyond that, a stripped-down stage that forces audi- Miller, Neil Simon, Julie Taymor.
woman, as in the case of his famous play, “Mother ence members to examine the play word by word. AH: A bird.
Courage and Her Children”—called by many the Kudos to the graduate student!
AH: Shakespeare, Eugene O’Neill, Arthur Miller,
greatest play of the 20th century, as well as the great- I asked Vetter to explain the job description of (2) What’s your favorite character in any play? Julie Taymor, Neil Simon, Sophocles. However,
est anti-war play. (The play takes place during the a set designer. He explained, “I draw pictures for a
Thirty Years War, a 17th-century European conflict living and someone else builds them.” But it’s not I don’t want anyone to think I don’t like Neil
AH: Masha in “Three Sisters” (Chekhov).
between Catholics and Protestants, and chronicles all fun and games, he intimated: “In a play like this, Simon!
the struggles of a Swed- the designer’s job (3) If you could climb into a time machine and
ish canteen woman’s is not just to en- see any play ever produced, what would it be? (7) Drug or relaxant of choice?
attempt to make a liv- tertain but to help
ing as a low-level war deliver a message. AH: James O’Neill in “The Count of Monte AH: “Battlestar Galactica.”
profiteer.) It is rewarding to Cristo.” [Editor: O’Neill, the father of famed
Needless to say, know that I am playwright James O’Neill, played the title role (8) What Columbia theater has the most comfort-
there is little room in the not merely draw- 4,000 times in Chicago during the 19th century.] able seats?
Brecht oeuvre for gay- ing pretty pictures;
friendly musical theater. I am working for (4) What would it take to get you naked on stage? AH: Trustus. Great popcorn, too!
(For fans of “American the betterment of (Keep in mind that our interviewers never carry
Idol,” don’t expect con- society.” more than $50 cash at any one time.) (9) What’s your favorite curse word?
testant Adam Lambert It is both
to be cast anytime soon mindboggling and AH: At this point in life…$
AH: Stronza [Editor: Italian for “bitch”/”slut”/
in a Broadway revival mind-numbing to ”whore.”]
of “Caucasian Chalk consider just how (5) What live theatrical production most changed
your life?
Circle.”) When it much war was an (10) Does this questionnaire make you feel like
comes to Brecht, forget essential part of AH: “The Grapes of Wrath” in middle school. I using your favorite curse word?
fancy costuming and the 20th-century: was transported by a non-musical. (And it was
elaborate sets a la Julie WWI, WWII, the first time I saw a naked man.) AH: No!
Taymor. As I recall, my Korea, Vietnam,
old college textbook de- Mother Courage and Her Children runs April 17-26 Iraq, Afghanistan.
scribed two of Brecht’s And these are just
at USC Drayton Hall Theatre.
main themes as “anti-re- the major U.S. the-
alistic” and “alienating.” aters—theaters not in
The theatrical world of Brecht is stark, barren, spar- the Shakespearean tradition, but devoted to the mas-
tan. One is invited to examine the human condition; sacre of humanity for whatever excuse it needs to Mother Courage and Her Children (April
otherwise, feel free not to show up at all. tear itself to shreds. 17-26) ** article in current CCP **
Imagine the mindboggling task, then, of design- Although I consider myself an unabashed, July
ing a contemporary production of Brecht for a gener- Fourth-loving patriot, I hear Brecht’s voice calling (Lab Theatre)
ation of viewers accustomed to visual spectacle and me. It is a voice lacking emotion and eloquence;
the candy-coated philosophies of the underside of it is disembodied; clear and unclear; universal and Iphigenia & Other Daughters (April 23-26)
Dove chocolate wrappers. Such a task falls to USC abstract. The voice does not appeal to my emotions; ** article in current CCP **
MFA student Craig Vetter, a 2006 BFA graduate in it calls for deep thought and a change of social order.
Theater Production from Penn State. His previous It wants me to strip from war all the attractive human Town Theater [box office: 799.2510]
USC design projects include Shakespeare’s “Twelfth interest stories. It wants me to consider the thing Trustus Theater [box office: 254.9732]
Night” and “As You Like It.” Both plays lend them- in itself: savage destruction, incestuous breeder of Guys and Dolls (May 8-30) ** review in 5-
selves to plenty of visual confectionary. But when violence. (main stage) 20 CCP **
asked about designing Brecht, Vetter describes the It’s the same voice calling out to designer Craig
challenge of creating a visual world that is both uni- Vetter. And Columbia audience members will be Elephant’s Graveyard (May 1-23) ** article
versal and abstract, “We wanted something every- properly moved (as much as Brecht would hate in 5-6 CCP ** Workshop Theater [box office: 799.4876]
body could relate to by using non-specificity.” that term) to see the body Vetter’s set design lends
The only follow-up question I could think to ask to one of the most important voices of 20th-century (black box) Moonlight & Magnolias (May 15-30) **
was, “Huh?” “Abstract” and “universal” don’t ex- theater. article in 5-20 CCP **
actly fly off the blueprint and build themselves a la Mother Courage and Her Children runs April Fat Pig (April 17-19, 22-25) ** article on cola-
the magic brooms in “Fantasia.” 17-26 at USC Drayton Hall Theatre. Curtain times theater.com ** Chapin Community Theater [box office:
Craig explained that director Steven Pearson, a are 8 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday and 3 p.m. on 345.6181]
USC professor of acting and directing and head of Sunday. Tickets range from $10-$16. Call 777.2551 University of South Carolina [box office:
the MFA Acting Program, had a vision for audience for more information. To learn more about USC 777.2551](Drayton Hall) Enchanted April (May 7 - May 23)
members, in the great Brecht tradition, reflecting on Theatre, visit www.cas.sc.edu/thea/ .

12 april 23, 2009

 www.colatheater.com

Euripides
for an “Entertainment Weekly” World
by S.M. Baleen centuries-propelled drama of
Bar none, the best place House Atreus reads a bit like
to watch a show in this town the “Housewives of Orange
is at the University of South County” only with the added
Carolina Lab Theatre. Think twist of the gods occasionally
theater Fight Club, a con- turning a damsel in distress
crete space so pounding and into a hart or shrubbery. A
intimate you can practically lifetime of cable television
smell an actor’s breath. And if and comic books has filled us
you’re in the front row during with all the fucked-up family
an intense scene, you’re likely archetypes we’ll ever need.
to get sprayed with thespian The names in McLaughlin’s
spit or sweat. “Iphigenia” don’t matter. You
The first show I saw in know them as a thousand char-
Columbia was “Danny and acters you’ve seen on prime-
the Deep Blue Sea” in the time soaps like “Falcon’s
USC black box. It was elec- Crest,” “Big Love” and “Mel-
trifying—and this was before rose Place.”
efforts to make the space look Just park your rump in the
less like a slaughterhouse theater and let the timelessness
rinsing station and more like of the Greeks play on your
a playhouse. (Although, imagination. Iphigenia: “We
the bathrooms still resemble are performing a legend.” Or-
something out of one of the Photo by: estes: “And the legend is per-
“Saw” movies.) It’s always Esteban Nevarez forming us.” Sonya Thomp-
peeved me that every theater- MFA student Lin Ying as Iphigenia, and son, a first year MFA student
reviewing rag in town ignores undergraduate Sam Traquina as Orestes in who plays Electra, says it even
this space. Not only do you get USC Lab Theatre’s upcoming production more simply, “Time doesn’t
to see the grittiest plays pro- of “Iphigenia and Other Daughters.” matter. People are people. The
duced anywhere in Columbia themes of classical theater re-
for less than the price of a Whopper and fries, but main relevant because it’s about being human, it’s
you support student actors and directors by doing about the condition of life.” And director Amy
so. Holtcamp, a USC theater instructor, makes all
The final show of the 2009 USC Lab season is the wise choices, placing McLaughlin’s Homeric
“Iphigenia and Other Daughters,” written by Ellen and Jungian archetypes within simple geometric
McLaughlin, better known for her portrayal as the boundaries so that their perspicacious insanity can
angel is Tony Kushner’s millennial epic “Angels roll down us freely, like so many Jell-O shots dur-
in America” than for any of her classical-themed ing a Five Points bachelorette party: “My dead
plays. “Iphigenia,” in McLaughlin’s own words, against your dead / My love against your love.”
“adapts Euripides’ ‘Iphigenia in Aulis,’ Sophocles’ Or: “Is this the house?” / “What house are you
‘Electra,’ and Euripides’ ‘Iphigenia in Tauris’ in looking for?” / “I bring terrible news.” / “Then
succession to create what [I call] in the program this is the house.”
notes ‘a meditation on feminism.’” But that quote Third year MFA student Felicia Berch is a
is likely to send most theatergoers running for the quintessential murderess mother, Clytemnestra,
nearest mindless Andrew Lloyd Webber produc- brimming with gall over the familial hand which
tion, so ignore it. Instead, spend five minutes surf- the fates have dealt her. Thompson as Electra
ing Wikipedia to catch up on the Classical litera- would cause Sigmund Freud to smile with her
ture you missed while getting your MBA. Or, if vengeful brooding and circular, sexual impu-
you prefer, read this six-sentence summary of the dence. And Lin Ying embodies the Graeco-Ro-
13th century BCE: man Ms. Cellophane, Iphigenia, to a tee; audience
A long time ago in Greece, there was a king members will remember the forgettable family
named Agamemnon, who hightailed it to Troy to scapegoat. Undergraduates Mallory Morris and
rescue a queen named Helen, who had been kid- Sam Traquina are also well cast in the respective
napped by a prince named Paris. You’ve probably roles of Chrysothemis and Orestes, and the five
heard of it: the Trojan War. (A war so famous undergraduates Greek chorus successfully steal
they named condoms after the city and a city in many of the play’s final moments.
France after the villain.) Agamemnon was mar- There is, of course, a point in the midst of all
ried to a woman named Clytemnestra, who was the play’s symbolic circles. Director Holtcamp
not unlike Norma Desmond in the film “Sunset was interested to present the play because she
Boulevard,” only she had three daughters, who saw in it a statement on the pursuit of justice in
were a bit like Marsha, Jan and Cindy, and a son, a overwhelmingly violent world. While I don’t
Orestes (who gets stuck playing the parts of Greg, myself see a foundation for Amish pacifism in the
Peter and Bobby all by himself). When Agamem- House of Atreus, I do believe the audience mem-
non returned from the Trojan War, Clytemnestra ber forms a bond with the children of Agamem-
went “no more wire hangers” on her husband’s ass non who are left standing at the play’s end play; a
and killed him, leaving her daughter, Electra, to bond of regret of the seeming endless violence and
reel in castration anxiety, whilst her other daugh- vengeance that is endemic to our kind. “I come
ter, Chrysothemis, waters flowers, as a nice girl from a house eccentric in blood.” / “Eccentric in
should. Meanwhile, history bifurcates Iphigenia, suffering.” / “Lies upon lie.” / “Generation upon
who much earlier in the tale was sacrificed so that generation.” A message always worth hearing and
Agamemnon could coddle the gods and stroke the seeing.
Greek military industrial complex on his way to Iphigenia & Other Daughters runs April 23-26
Asia Minor. at USC Lab Theatre (across from Blatt PE Cen-
Classicists hate to admit it, but Homer and ter on Wheat Street on the USC campus). Tick-
all who proceeded him in the tradition of ancient ets are $5. Show begins at 8 p.m. Call 777.9353
Greek theater (Euripides, Sophocles, Aeschylus, for information. To learn more about USC Lab
etc.) were of a mind to entertain just as much to Theatre, visit www.cas.sc.edu/THEA/2009/Lab-
educate and elucidate. So be comforted that the Theater.html. april 23, 2009 13
 THURSDAY APRIL 23 Utopia Electric Six Sudworks Taphouse SATURDAY MAY 2
Natural Mystic Living Things Telepath
Five After Five Isabelle’s Gift Headliners
Starseed Project Vista After Five Face Down Utopia Vayden
Mudfish Fantasy Local Honey Enter The Era
New Brookland Tavern Ghost In The Machine
Headliners Wild Wing Cafe - The Vista You, Me, and Us THURSDAY APRIL 30 The Senate
Grantham’s Asylum Drop D Sucker Punch Shut Up & Dance
The Not Likelys Five After Five
New Brookland Tavern SATURDAY APRIL 25 Plan-C Ramona Drive Rhythm On the River Concert
Three Mad Frogs Zach Fowler & The Essentials Series
Concrete Jumpsuit Headliners Sudworks Taphouse The Papa String Band
Jamtronica Brantley Gilbert Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum New Brookland Tavern
Shaking Ray Levis The Dreaded Paranoids Wild Wing Cafe - The Vista
Sudworks Taphouse Mac’s On Main Mantiz Fernando
The Petty Thieves The Mattie Phifer Band MONDAY APRIL 27 Mic Skillz
The Bitch Is Back Rip Rock SUNDAY MAY 3
New Brookland Tavern New Brookland Tavern CDC
Utopia Fight This War Android Opera New Brookland Tavern
Willow Tyrants of Deception Paul Bowers Sudworks Taphouse Kevin Devine
Interpreter Welcome To People Namedropper Miniature Tigers
Wild Wing Cafe - The Vista So Much More Man With A Gun Deleveled Trilight Armada
Sideways Derby Brian Bonz
Sudworks Taphouse TUESDAY APRIL 28 Utopia
FRIDAY APRIL 24 Pi Kappa Phi Gwen Powell WEDNESDAY MAY 6
Headliners James Boyce
Mac’s On Main Rhythm On the River Citizen Cope Utopia
Natural Desire Band Shawn Mullins Wild Wing Cafe - The Vista The Papa String Band
Danielle Howle New Brookland Tavern Tokyo Joe
New Brookland Tavern The Sh.a.aw. Brothers Sudworks Taphouse
Magnetic Flowers Utopia Trublklef & Cosmo D FRIDAY MAY 1 Chronicles Of The Landsquid
Bourbon Brothers Drive South DJ M80 & Mighty Thor Bitch Please
All Good Citizens New Brookland Tavern M.O. Theory
Bret Treacy Wild Wing Cafe - The Vista WED APRIL 29 Against Me! DJC3
Jeremy Kolmin Mighty McFly Off With Their Heads
New Brookland Tavern Of Angels And Lions THURSDAY MAY 7
Sudworks Taphouse SUNDAY APRIL 26 Sleepy Eye Giant
Outformation The Bereans Wild Wing Cafe - The Vista Five After Five
Headliners Junior Astronomers The Unmentionables Lochness Johnny

City Paper Pick

Monday, so you will hurry
off to your computer to see
where their next show is.
You’ll see it’s in Richmond
and think “man that is just
too far away,” and you will
be sad. Hopefully, to add
insult to injury your friends
who went to the show will
point at you and laugh. I
think at some point every-
one has heard Danger! High
Voltage (featuring Jack
White on falsetto) so don’t
claim you have never heard
of this band. Electric Six
play a bombastic brand of
rock with elements of disco,
soul and new wave that just
Sunday, April 26th makes you want to dance.
On top of that they put on an amazing live
Headliners show that their recordings just can’t capture.
On stage Dick Valentine seems to channel the
Electric Six ghost of Robert Palmer (after said ghost just did
Living Things a bunch of lines). His charisma and theatrics
Isabelle’s Gift allow the crowd to drop any pretense they may
Face Down have and just have fun. I have seen them many
times and have never gone home disappointed.
Hmmm what to say about this show....if you Oh and if you are a fan, rumor has it they will
miss it you will be sorely disappointed. You be selling an album of unreleased tracks that
will hear about how great Electric Six was on will only be available at the show.

14 April 23, 2009

ROCK N’ ROLL
CROSSWORDS
“Puzzle Bloody Puzzle”
Across
1. Okkervil River hit (2 wds)
6. Outkast ‘__ It On The BBQ’
10. Saliva’s runner up name?
14. What a cheating rocker needs
for road excuses
15. The Cult ‘Edie (__ Baby)’
16. Smith prefix?
17. Stoned rocker’s last resort
18. Squeeze ‘__ The Dance
Floor’
19. Peter Gabriel ‘Kiss That __’
20. Decendents ‘__ Talk’
21. Sex, ___, and Rock and Roll
23. Sweaty spot for groupie tryst
24. Where #1 hangs out- the top
__
25. Tracy Chapman ‘Fast __’
26. ‘Thriller’ smash (2 wds)
29. What angry band members do
for tour. What Deadheads some-
times went on
34. Go-Go’s ‘We Got The __’
35. Where the Boss was born
37. Minneapolis ‘Don’t Tell A
Soul’ darlings (2 wds)
41. Ozzy ‘Ultimate __’
42. The Rutles ‘Help’ parody
43. Some March/April rockers
44. Amplifier container
47. Cleveland progressive rock
band
48. REM ‘__ Of The World As
We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
49. Need one to sneak backstage
50. Jim Croce’s Leroy
53. Leggy groupies better show
some
55. Toad The Wet Sprocket ‘__
Would Break’
Rock and roll crosswords are created by Todd Santos © 2009
58. Warner owned label that com-
bined with Atlantic in ‘05
59. Clapton or Benet 60. Rock
stars often feel “___ the law”
62. CCR ‘Have You __ Seen The
Rain’
63. ‘99 Megadeth album
64. Jerry Lee
65. Pink Floyd ‘Wish You __
Here’
66. Jewel ‘__ And Mick’
67. Allows a bandmate to use
one’s guitar
Down
1. Old rockers association?
2. __ club, aka choir
3. Morrisey ‘Lucky __’
4. Star Wars inspired Britpop
group?
5. Singer’s instrument?
6. A&R guy, to up and coming
bands
7. ___ Crimson
8. What a band finally does when
they sign
9. Purpose of acoustic on date
10. Beach Boys ‘Surfin ____’
11. The charango is this country’s
national instrument
12. Black Sabbath ‘__ Man’
13. Worn during ‘Shout’ in
Animal House
22. Death metal band ‘Jungle __’
23. Johnny Cash ‘Live At __
Quentin’
24. Bob Marley ‘__ It Up’
25. Buffalo’s ‘__ Is What We
Aim For’
26. Ozzy’s (!) snacks
27. Work ideal rock stars don’t
have to have
28. Rock concert stadium
29. To applaud or boo at show
30. “We’ve got to carry __ other”
31. Sight of Mariah Carey’s ‘06
concert for Tunisia
32. Dressing room product ___
Lauder
34. What color the ‘Oyster Cult’
is
36. Band that sang ‘Cherish’, for
short
38. Dinosaur Jr ‘__ Song’ off
Bug
39. Biggest name in amps
40. Springsteen’s Seeger cover
‘__ Canal’
45. George Harrison ‘___ Of
Darkness’
46. Place to crash on tour
47. Major month for concerts
(abbr)
49. The Martin that went ‘Loca’
in ‘99
50. What crappy opening band
did
51. Good review
52. Eagles ‘Get __ It’
53. Cream, ELP, or The Police
54. Express dislike of a perfor-
mance
55. Men At Work ‘Land ___
Under’
56. Type of fan or collector
57. Cluttered Ben Folds Five
song?
59. Play wrong note
61. The __ Gees’
rockandrollcrosswords.com
april 23, 2009 15
Arts
Judit Trunkos
Greenville native, Carl Blair, presents
abstract paintings and wooden sculptures in
his brand new “Flora & Fauna” exhibition at
if ART Gallery. Imagination mixes with wild
color to produce this extraordinary collection
by an artist who only discovered his color-
blindness in college. After he began to study art
he started wearing a red contact lens in his left
eye to help to distinguish colors. While colors
are obviously integral to painting, so, too, are
dynamism and passion. Blair has both. The
colorful waves and thick lines blend effortlessly
to create landscapes that are not detail-focused,
but centered around color and shape.
Blair refers to his style as neither realis-
tic nor abstract. “I refer to my work as visual
poetry,” he says.
Living in the countryside in the Upstate
heavily influences Blair’s artwork. Even though
16 April 23, 2009
the hills seem to almost melt together on the
canvas, woods often just black spots on the
painting, rivers reduced to blue curves and the
sun often taking over the sky almost complete-
ly, his use of color brings the landscapes alive.
Although best known for his oil, gouache,
and acrylic paintings, late in his career, Blair
began exhibiting sculpture, especially whim-
sical animals crafted of plywood or spruce
pine boards. He recalled telling his Bob Jones
University students to “never, never grow up
and take yourself seriously.” Farm animals also
show up in Blair’s exhibitions. His wooden
bird sculptures makes one wonder if he spent
time living in a jungle observing exotic ani-
mals, or simply grew up around roosters and
with a very colorful imagination.
“Flora & Fauna” can be seen through May
9 at if ART Gallery on Lincoln Street. The
exhibition also will be on view during Artista
Vista 2009, April 23-25.
 JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS
“Triple Threats”--five names, one unusual pattern.
su|do|ku
Across lar on “The West Wing” 28 Dr. Frankenstein’s assistant
1 Disk storage acronym 56 NPR books reporter and former “All 29 Rides around town
4 It may be indisputable Things Considered” cohost 31 Memo abbr.
8 Bewildered 59 Scripture that’s source to yoga meth- 32 Not many
12 Baseball Hall-of-Famer Rod ods 33 Affectedly dainty
14 “Am ___ loud?” 60 Top guy at the U. 34 Bunches
15 The Buckeye State 61 Buffalo’s county 36 Canning needs
16 Boxing venue 62 Ohio city where a Burger King 37 Sen. Bayh
17 Singer with the album “Mind, Body worker YouTubed himself bathing in 38 It’s paid yearly for transportation
& Soul” the sink in 2008 39 They’re read by lasers
19 One of the Detroit Pistons’ “Bad 63 Photocopier problems 42 Property claim
Boys” of the 1990s 64 “Atlas Shrugged” author 44 Armless couches
21 “Strange...” 65 Airport screening org. 45 Red blood cell deficiency
22 Nay’s opposite 46 Peer-to-peer MP3 network
23 Some film ratings Down 49 Unkind look
26 TV’s “Science Guy” Bill 1 It occurs once in a blue moon 50 Jerry Stiller’s comedy partner Anne
27 “...___ may be the Lord” (Bob 2 Ultimatum words 52 “Letters, ___ letters...” (“Late Show”
Dylan lyric) 3 Edison’s ___ Park mailbag song lyric)
30 Native New Zealander 4 Nation with three dots in a row 53 The last two were in St. Paul in 2008
32 Thanks, in Tokyo 5 It’s split in a lab and NYC in 2004
35 Warty hopper 6 He played Cliff Huxtable 54 Title role for Julia
36 He can tell if “you might be a 7 “We’re off ___ the Wizard...” 55 Teary-___
redneck” 8 Frodo’s film series, to fans 56 J.F.K.’s successor
39 Give in 9 “Well, lookie here!” 57 Peruvian singer Sumac
40 Used the changing room 10 Lust, so it’s said 58 ___ de plume
41 Feature of some American accents 11 Little piggy
43 Ward of “Once and Again” 12 Log home ©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@
44 N. ___ (Fargo’s state, for short) 13 Salad with apples and grapes jonesincrosswords.com)
47 Fig. in identity theft 18 Baseball feature For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-
48 Suffix after sex or fetish 20 Floating at sea 226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be
51 “M*A*S*H” episode where a clum- 23 Eeyore’s pal 18+. Or to bill to
sy nurse dates Hawkeye 24 Overcast your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548.
53 Sister of actor Emilio and semi-regu- 25 Pitcher Fernandez Reference puzzle #0410.

18 April 23, 2009

SavageLove
My roommate is astoundingly hot. Her room
is being repaired (the ceiling fell in), and, at her
request, I’m letting her and her boyfriend sleep in
my room while I take the couch. I’ve been able to
contain my attraction just fine up to now, but the
minute she entered my space I had this feeling that
all bets are off. I’m considering spying on her with
a hidden surveillance cam. If I had video of this girl
naked, let alone being fucked, I could happily beat
off to the footage for the rest of my life. Obviously
it’s a breach of trust, and I’m a shitty roommate for
considering it. I have a few concerns. Is this nor-
mal? Assuming that there’s no way she could find
out and that I kept the video to myself and myself
only, would it be so wrong? What is her reasonable
expectation of privacy once she enters my room?
Thanks In Advance
Before we get to your tech-related queries, TIA,
a word about a young man in Florida with tech-
related troubles.
America’s current teen-sex panic—it’s always
something—is about “sexting,” teenagers sending
each other pictures of their sometimes-underage
junk, their frequently underage racks, or their young
and dimpled/pimpled rear ends. (Oh, if only we
could return to the comparatively innocent and
entirely fictional days of “rainbow parties”!) Shortly
after the kids went crazy for sexting, the authorities
went crazy for prosecuting kids for sexting. Take
Phillip Alpert, an 18-year-old in Florida who got
mad at his girlfriend and forwarded a digital photo
of her naked to dozens of her friends and family.
This Alpert kid (he had only just turned 18)
pulled an asshole move—the gaping asshole of
moves—and he owes his girlfriend, her friends, and
her family an apology, restitution, and a pound of
flesh. (And I mean that pound.) A just, proportion-
ate punishment might involve, say, nude pictures
of Alpert being displayed on a billboard in Times
Square. For a year. Instead, Alpert was convicted of
distributing child porn and “sentenced to five years
probation and required by Florida law to register as
a sex offender,” CNN reports. “You will find me on
the registered sex offender list next to people who
have raped children, molested kids, things like that,”
Alpert told CNN.
A message for concerned parents, outraged
school officials, and teen-sex-obsessed prosecutors:
We’re gonna have to either make it illegal for teen-
agers to own camsphonescomputers, or we’re gonna
have to give them drugs to delay the onset of puberty
until after they’re 18. If we’re unable or unwilling
to do those things—technology is hard to contain,
and delaying puberty could have unwelcome health
consequences (although it would have spared Levi
Johnston’s DNA from the ignominy of mixing
with the Palins’)—then the intersection of horny
teens and newer technologies is going to require
us to rethink the simplistic application of laws that
criminalize the possession and distribution of sexty
(ugh) pictures, particularly in cases where they were
created by teenagers, for teenagers.
Yes, Alpert was a douchebag; yes, it was
wrong for him to forward that picture to embarrass
and humiliate his girlfriend. But if Alpert is a child
pornographer and a sex offender, so are millions of
today’s teenagers. They’re all e-mailing each other
pictures of their junk. Making an example of one
unlucky asshole who got caught isn’t going to stop
teenagers from sexting each other anymore than
making an example of hundreds of thousands of
unlucky pot smokers stopped people from smok-
ing pot.
Okay, TIA, on to your question: While it’s
normal to contemplate, even obsess about, some-
thing you know is wrong, secretly videotaping your
Sex advice column
by Dan Savage
roommate, even if she’s “in your space,” isn’t just
an asshole move. It’s an illegal move in most places,
and the consequences for asshole moves involving
digital images, as illustrated above, can be dire. And
until submitting to videotaping is widely understood
to be a known risk of sleeping in someone else’s
bedroom, your roommate and her boyfriend have an
entirely reasonable expectation of privacy.
As for no-way-she-could-ever-find-out, I could
sneak into your house and use your toothbrush as
a sound, and you’d never find out. And although it
would hurt me more than it would hurt you, TIA,
it would still be wrong—even if there was no way
short of DNA testing that you would ever find
out. And while you may intend to keep the video
to yourself—such the gentleman—what if your
laptop gets stolen? What if you take your computer
in for repairs and someone makes a copy? Digital
images—photos, video, whatever—are too easy to
lose control over.
Don’t do it, TIA.
I am a 30-year-old female with a live-in boy-
friend. While we’re not without our problems, the
relationship is wonderful. My only big issue is that I
don’t enjoy cohabitation. Before living with my boy-
friend, I lived in a studio apartment, my little castle,
and I relished having my own space. I would love to
go back to us each having our own domicile, but I
am afraid of losing him. The thought has been met
with such criticism by my friends that it makes me
wonder. Is it unusual to want your own space?
Independent But In Love
I know a nice, loving couple—married, straight,
with kids—who each have an apartment in the same
building. The kids’ rooms are in mom’s; the meals
are prepared and eaten at dad’s. They decided to live
like this because, like you, they both liked having
their own spaces.
You can do it, too, IBIL. Stop worrying about
what other people think and start being honest with
your boyfriend about your preferred living arrange-
ment.
As you’ve proven in the past with “santorum”
and “saddlebacking,” you have considerable influ-
ence. So to reward the Vermont legislature’s recent
decision to override the governor’s veto and legalize
same-sex marriage in that state, why not encourage
your listeners and readers to purchase products
made in Vermont? And Iowa? Think of it: Your mil-
lions of fans could trade in chocolate body paint for
maple syrup as the sexy edible substance of choice,
all the while supporting this legislative victory and
(we hope) spurring others like it.
D.J.’s Fellow Gayby
P.S. I have absolutely no stake in Vermont’s
economy. I just want my dads to be able to marry
one day in the state where my family lives.
That day may come more quickly than we think,
DJFG, thanks to the bravery of elected officials in
Iowa and Vermont. As for rewarding those states:
Like most Americans, I consume way more corn
syrup than a person should (that shit’s in every-
thing), so Iowa is covered. And I will make sure
the next bottle of maple syrup I purchase is from
Vermont—but I’ll be pouring it on my pancakes,
thanks, not my boyfriend. Food is for after sex,
people, not before, and never, ever during. Food is
not a sex toy, not even chocolate.
mail@savagelove.net
¡Ask a Mexican!
Taco belly and a fake social security number
Dear Mexican: In an ear- Dear Mexican: During the
lier column, you mentioned 1970s, I heard my father tell a
that conservatives can’t have couple of activist friends that
an argument against illegal im- some Mexica males practiced
migration without it degenerat- contraception by chewing on
ing into a diatribe against cul- a type of root. Is this true? Or
ture. Here’s an argument that am I confusing the Mexica with
the Mayas, Olmecas or mi tío
has nothing to do with culture:
In California, we now have a Monchi?
El Gallo Habrano
severe water shortage. I work
for a municipal water agency.
Dear Wab: Probably. Prob-
We are asking that people ra-
ably not. Point is, what does it
tion 20 percent of their usage. matter? Obviously ain’t being
We must ration 15 percent to 17 used today.
percent of our water in order to
make sure we don’t run out of By GUSTAVO ARELLANO Dear Mexican: I decided to
it. Considering that the illegal move definitivamente to Ameri-
immigrant population of California is approxi- ca two years ago. I started working a year and a
mately 16 percent, we would achieve our ration- half ago, and I’ve noticed that, for some reason,
ing goal just by illegal immigrants going back to my co-workers think that because I’m Mexican,
where they came from. and very proud of it, the only kind of food I’ll eat
Wet Back, But Not the Wetback Kind is . . . MEXICAN food!!! I must say, there’s noth-
ing better for la cruda than menudo, and I could
Dear Gabacho: Your work has given you eat all the mole my estómago will allow, and that
agua on the brain, amigo. Where did you get the I cannot die before I have a nice plate of zacahuil
stat that California’s illegal-immigrant popula- (¡y arriba San Luis Potosí!), but, to be honest
tion is 16 percent? Even if you take the overin- with you, I also like Indian, Thai, Chinese, Ital-
flated 2008 estimate of the Golden State’s ille- ian, Peruvian, Middle Eastern, French . . . I think
gals (3.2 million) claimed by the Federation for you get it. Why is that?
American Immigration Reform (FAIR, which Not as Square as You (Gringos) Think
many Know Nothings cite as a legitimate think
Dear Wab: Bienvenido to los Estados Uni-
tank but which the Southern Poverty Law Cen-
dos! On behalf of all raza, allow me to present
ter classifies as a hate group for its connections you with your standard-issue poncho, som-
to bona fide racists) and square the stat with the brero, bandoliers, mustache, gold tooth, taco
Census Bureau’s 2008 guess for California’s to- belly and fake Social Security number! Chistes
tal population (36.8 million), the final percentage aside, does such a gastronomic stereotype really
of indocumentados is about 8.7 percent—still a surprise you? Never mind that Mexican food is
significant chunk of cambio, but almost half of an amalgamation of various culinary traditions
what you claimed, Wet Back. But you like num- (Lebanese, Spanish, French and indigenous are
bers and conservation, so refry this: A 2005 Cali- just the most obvious and pervasive), or that—as
fornia Urban Water Conservation Council study I’ve written before in my column and book (buy
found almost half of all residential water use in it!)—Mexico is one of the world’s top consum-
the state was for landscaping. Want to achieve ers of ramen. If you’re a Mexican in the United
your rationing goals and then some, Wet Back? States, gabachos expect you to subsist on a steady
Let lawns die. But, of course, gabachos would diet of yellow cheese, chili, pinto beens and beer.
never allow that to happen, being more than will- Do the Mexican a favor, Not as Square: Cast out
ing to behold the bean in a Mexican’s eye with- the burrito in your co-workers’ eyes, then go out
and pound the Herradura.
out considering the burrito in their own.
Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net
April 23, 2009 19
 =Q^[\MJb  /[RMJb  <J]^[MJb  <^WMJb  6XWMJb  =^N\MJb ! @NMWN\MJb "
$5/$8 8pm $10 7pm $5/$8 5pm $5/$8 7pm $5/$8 7:30pm $5/$8 7pm $5/$8 7pm
SawFest
Fight
Benefit Show w/: Tyrants This2008
War
*9;25

Three Mad Frogs of Deception You, Me, and Us Android Opera The Sh.a.aw. Sleepy Eye Giant
Magnetic Flowers Interpreter Brothers
So Much More Sucker Punch Paul Bowers
Concrete Jumpsuit Bourbon Brothers $5/$8 9pm The Not Likeys Welcome To People Trublklef & Cosmo D .leavelifealone.
The Bereans
Jamtronica All Good Citizens Plan - C Man With A Gun DJM80 & Mighty
The Ghost of FDR Junior
Brett Treacy (Farewell Show)
Jeremy Kolmin Charlie Duncan Thor Astronomers
The Overtones
Stereo Reform
=Q^[\MJb  /[RMJb 6Jb  <J]^[MJb  <^WMJb  6XWMJb  =^N\MJb  @NMWN\MJb
$5/$8 8pm $10 7pm $10 5pm $10/$12 6pm $5 6pm $5/$8 6:30pm $5/$8 7:30pm

The Dreaded Against Me! The Moultrie Killer NBT’s New Music
Kevin Devine Ninjaloot Catchers in
6*B

Courtesy Murder Night w/:

Paranoids By The Sins Fell Angels Human The Rye
Mantiz
Into The Depths Miniature Tigers Phallacy Kills and Thrills One Way Out
Off w/ Their Heads The Pillage Trilight Armada Bleeding Counterfeit World’s End Invader
Mic Skillz Of Angels & Lions Murder Media We Sail At Dawn
Rip Rock Defeat Chilvary Brian Bonz State of Konfusion
Fate To Be Determined The J-Man Band Virulence
CDC In Regret Ned Durrett
=Q^[\MJb /[RMJb ! /[RMJb ! <J]^[MJb " 6XWMJb  =^N\MJb  @NMWN\MJb
$8ad/$10dos 6pm $10 5:30pm $5 9pm $5/$8 7:30pm $7 8pm $7 8pm $8 6pm
Non Stop Hip
There For Liferuiner CoAlition of
KiD trAils AMeriCAn Veara
6*B

Tomorrow Hop Live BrutAlity showCAse

Versa Emerge
The World We
Know
Da Cold War CD
Release Concert
w/ TBA Pretty & Nice AquAriuM A Newborn
Thriller, The Bit-
$3 for COB members
TBA The Baldness
Conditions Your Chance To Die Featuring FatRat Da ter Suite, Kids Of
Tyrants of Deception Czar TBA Survival, Latin
O’Verona
& Shekeese Tha For Truth
Beast

Kevin Devine w/ May 7th

AgAinst Me!

6*B <18@< 6*B <18@<

6*B <18@< 6*B <18@<

MINIATURE TIGERS 6pM

$10/$12 6pm BRIAN BONZ $6/$10

April 10th
6pm
Off w/ Their heads
Of angels & liOns There fOr TOmOrrOw
May 1st 7pM $10
8pm $5/$8 May 3rd $10/$12
Versa emerge - COndiTiOns - O’VerOna
6 pm

122 State St. W Columbia SC 29169

www.newbrooklandtavern.com 803.791.4413