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Just thought it was about time for another circulation of the New and Improved
Famous Last Words List. *
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"Hey Thor! I'll bet if you'll put your hammer down I can take you on!"
"Wait... Dragons can only breathe fire once per day right?"
"I walk into the raiders' camp and ask to use the toilet."
"I'll just fly over the dragon's lair on my pegasus and see if it's still there"
"Don't worry, it's safe. Nothing happened last time we camped here."
"The huge red dragon is flying toward me with his mouth open? Ok, I roll for
initiative with my bastard sword."
"What if we drained this fountain that acts as a portal to the elemental plane of
water with my bag of holding?."
"Oh, shit."
"Okay, if I max out this round and win initiative next round, maybe..."
"Boost me up."
"Let's go in."
"I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that it's the extra-healing
potion."
"No problem."
"What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"
"Trust me."
"I'll just close my eyes and walk up to the dracolisk holding up my mirror."
"I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"
"You watch the door, I'll take out the Gas Spore (Beholder) that's guarding the
treasure."
"A Nightmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare to run."
"I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the dragon."
"My first arrow MISSED the magic-user pointing at me? OK, I shoot again!"
"So what?"
"Ya know, since our druid's been so obnoxious, it would probably serve him right
if we set his precious forest on fire."
"A creature with two BABOON heads on a scaly REPTILIAN body? With TENTACLES for
arms? Hunh. Must be some stupid wizard's magical construct. Let's kill it."
"OK, O Mighty Odin, as long as you're not gonna answer my prayers, I'm gonna tell
ya what I REALLY think of ya!"
"No, I'm sure there's some stipulation that says a Disintegrate spell won't work
if the spellcaster casts it on himself. Here, I'll prove it."
"Oops, I spilled flaming oil on my beard. I'd better wash it off after we kill
this fire lizard."
"Well, we know he's LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his word when he promised not
to betray us."
"So I'm safely across the pit? Whew! For a minute there I was worried that you
might remember my encumbrance penalties."
"Thank God!! A hobgoblin camp up ahead! Maybe they can help heal our wounded!"
"Don't worry! The chances of me blowing a climb walls roll twice, at my level,
are infinintesimal."
"Well, *I* trust our party thief, and if he says this door isn't trapped, that's
good enough for me."
"So that giant fell into the pit? I'll jump over it and get his treasure."
"Me first. Me first."
"Diamonds... Gold... Sapphires!!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're
fabulously wealthy!!!! Terry... Terry...??"
"Hey folks, follow me, I remember the way to the dungeon exit."
"You mean they get to use the critical hit chart too?"
"I'm invincible!"
"Hah! I'm not dead yet. I still have five hit points."
"I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my wand straight up."
"Just because you're a dragon doesn't mean you can push ME around."
"Money!"
"AGAIN?!"
"A ballista? What's that? How many dice of damage does it do?"
"So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like this can't have a very big
militia."
"All that noise we heard and there's only one drow here?"
"What do you mean, 'How many hit points do I have RIGHT NOW?'?"
"It's an illusion. No spell can reshape the side of a mountain like that. I
disbelieve and walk off the 500' cliff."
<CLICK!> "What do you mean, 'The trap WASN'T armed.'? What was that Remove Traps
roll for anyway!?"
"How was I to know that that orc would tell the truth about us not wanting to come
in here!"
"Nah... The game's just started... He wouldn't put a fatal death trap in yet..."
"You don't get Humanoid 8th level wizards. He's only bluffing."
"(To Angry Red Dragon) Did anyone tell you you had bad breath?"
"Ok, the dragon's asleep. You guys wait back here with bows and stuff. Getafix
and I will go up in front of it and cast light on it's eyes to blind him, then
we'll blow his brains out with psionics."
"Garth, you be the anchor. I tie the rope around myself, take the slack [700']
and jump in."
"That's right, I'm going to polymorph into a pergrine falcon and attempt to land
on the back of one of the 12 griffons flying above us."
"There's only three of them. Watch the one that looks like Death, though."
"Just because you can breathe fire doesn't mean you can push *us* around."
"Hey, it's only a black dragon, a vampire, and a lich.... And we've got a horn of
bubbles!"
"Elminster, you old fart, I thought you were really mad for a minute."
"Oh, please! Vampires have so many weaknesses, you can't help but kill them!"
"What do you mean my axe bounces off him? What's Stoneskin do anyway?"
"Did he say he had Plate Mail +5? I stop running and fight him!"
"Hey, do you guys think that this might just be an illusio... <WHACK!>"
"We charge!"
"Oops."
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