Andrew Lerario HTH GSE Year II WALO 2 My 2nd WALO deals with my self-image, and how that relates

s to my role as a teacher.

01/28/13

After reflecting for quite some time, I recalled a moment where I was most uncomfortable being a teacher, and it just so happens that it occurred when I wasnt teaching at all. Over the summer, I was out with family visiting the museums in Balboa Park, and I spotted a former student with her family heading towards me in the opposite direction. She didnt notice me, and as we neared each other, embarrassingly I hid behind my brother so that she wouldnt see me. Worse yet, when she passed I felt relieved. My brother thought I was acting absurd, and questioned why I reacted that way. I didnt have a good answer. It was just reflexive at the time. I have no issues with talking to students when I am at school, and I feel I am very open in front of a class, so why would behave so awkwardly in public? It took me a while to put my finger on why I felt so uncomfortable with the thought of speaking to my former student, or at least just saying hello. I wondered if I felt that I didnt look enough like a teacher, or that I wouldnt know what to say and the conversation would be awkward, or that I might not appear as a good role model in the context of the encounter. The more I reflected on this experience, the more it occurred to me that I have become very different as a teacher from what I am when I am not teaching, and that struck me fairly hard. I have conditioned myself as a professional educator to behave and act in a manner that fits the part. I didnt have on my teacher mask when I was at the park, and so I didnt feel comfortable speaking to a student without it. This realization was relieving, providing me with reason for my awkwardness, but it also led to another disturbing thought. In a school where I have the freedom to design my curriculum, and am encouraged to teach to my passions, why would I behave so differently outside of school? Was I becoming an institutionalized educator, preventing myself from connecting authentically with my students and teaching less to my passions? My WALO was aimed at focusing on these questions, and involved the following key goals: 1. Explore opportunities to move beyond the rigid role of teacher that Ive created for myself. 2. Try to share more with students, being more true to who I am, and develop relationships that extend beyond the subjects that I teach. 3. Participate in student-led activities outside of the class. I didnt have a planned course of action to address these goals, so I decided to remain open-minded during interactions with students, and try to be more aware of opportunities to share and connect. It amazed me at how a small change of perspective such as this could have an impact. I realized that there are moments to connect and share with students all of the time, and I was just not taking advantage of them.

I began to share my interests with students, or begin conversations about their interests that I found intriguing. This bridged new levels of rapport, and soon led to deeper connections, resulting in the formation of school clubs. I am now the advisor to four student-led clubs, the GSA, HTH Art Club, Tea Club, and Astronomy Club. The GSA leadership approached me and requested me as an advisor because of the rapport that had been built with many of their members. What was interesting about this is that despite admitting to having little experience that I may be able to provide for leadership or mentoring in the GSA, I was viewed as an ideal advisor because of the willingness to interact and be open with students. This was something that I had not anticipated, but it emphasized the importance of building relationships with students. The HTH Art Club began from a conversation with some of my students who I observed were drawing in their notebooks. Instead of directing them back to their work, which would be a previous reaction that I would have, I asked them about the artwork, and the discussion took off from there. I shared with them my desire to become an artist when I was younger, and how I have translated my creative aspirations into science work. They also began to share more artwork with me, and we soon decided that there should be a forum within the school where aspiring artists can share what they have. We approached the director and were given a space to display the artwork, and the students have started to spread the word. Here is a flier that they recently created:

The HTH Tea Club meets in my room for lunches on Thursday, where students discuss current news and social issues. There is no main focus for each discussion, other than that it is student-led. The Tea Club had existed at one time, yet had slowly dissolved. After discussing it with my current students, some decided to revive it. I took this opportunity to become more involved and join them in their discussions. Below are some artwork pieces that the students made to promote the Tea Club.

The Astronomy Club was born out of a shared interest between myself and a few of my former students. We were having a discussion about some astrophysics topics, which eventually led to the idea about having an Astronomy intersession. When intersession had ended, the students wanted to continue, and we decided to begin the HTH Astronomy Club. This club is currently being formed, and additional teachers have become involved. We are planning our first outing in April, and students who did not participate in the intersession have also decided to join. I feel that this will develop into an additional avenue that I can connect to what I am doing in class with my students.

What stands out to me in these experiences is that there is an incredible value to engaging in learning opportunities with students born out of shared interest, regardless of skill or knowledge level. In fact, if the learning is outside of the realm of my subject content, I almost believe it to be better if I am unknowledgeable, allowing the students to take leadership roles. In beginning of the Astronomy Intersession, I started with equal, if not less, knowledge of astronomy as the students, and we both took the journey of learning it together, making me more of a peer with shared interest rather than a mentor or guide. It gave me a new perspective of learning as a student, and I believe that I can translate this insight to into making work in my classes richer.