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Middlemiss, J. (2004)
As the wheel of life goes round, it’s easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss encourages us to find ways of getting things back on an even keel.
The physical environment, career, money, health, friends and family, significant other / romance, personal growth and fun and recreation - as the wheel of life goes round, it’s easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss presents two case examples to demonstrate how we can get things back on an even keel.
Middlemiss, J. (2004)
As the wheel of life goes round, it’s easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss encourages us to find ways of getting things back on an even keel.
The physical environment, career, money, health, friends and family, significant other / romance, personal growth and fun and recreation - as the wheel of life goes round, it’s easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss presents two case examples to demonstrate how we can get things back on an even keel.
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Middlemiss, J. (2004)
As the wheel of life goes round, it’s easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss encourages us to find ways of getting things back on an even keel.
The physical environment, career, money, health, friends and family, significant other / romance, personal growth and fun and recreation - as the wheel of life goes round, it’s easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss presents two case examples to demonstrate how we can get things back on an even keel.
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Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
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Скачайте в формате PDF, TXT или читайте онлайн в Scribd
SPEECH & LANGUAGE THERAPY IN PRACTICE SPRING 2004 +(
He has half the deed done, Who has made a beginning. Horace I never make any secret of the fact that I believe my work to be vocational and spiritual. That is not to say that religion usually comes into coaching unless it is specifically part of the work that my client wants to do. No, the spiritual element of the coaching is just the acknowledge- ment that we are all made up of mind, body and spirit, and that each of these elements is hugely important and simply cannot be ignored. However, many people believe that we are get- ting into slightly boggy ground when the spiritu- al dimension is mentioned, and are inclined to leave all that stuff to mystics, and off-the-wall incense burning, tree-hugging wackos. But close your eyes for a moment and ponder the following scenarios: 1. The person who is your immediate superior calls you into his or her office. They tell you that your work is outstanding and that your profes- sionalism and efficiency are an example to all. What is your reaction? How do you feel? What emotions are around for you? 2. Now - imagine that you are on top of a high hill or mountain, that you have spent most of the morning climbing. It is a glorious day, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the temperature is perfect. You sit down to rest and gaze around, when suddenly and unexpectedly an eagle soars beside you, unaware of your presence. Now, can you describe the difference between these two experiences? I would argue that the first gives you mind and possibly body pleasure. It is ego driven, however, and the mood change was brought about by anothers opinion. The second is experienced at a spiritual level, and conse- quently touches us in a completely different way. The first experience was earned, whereas the second was given freely by nature and is available to all. I start in this way because the main thrust of this column is balance and, as you can see from figure 1, a life out of balance is an uncomfortable experience, no matter how good some elements of it are. Symbiotic relationship When I was approached to write for this maga- zine my experience with the world of speech and language therapy was limited but, within days of agreeing to do it, I was asked to take on a deaf lady as a client. Serendipity! Jean had some chal- lenges in her life relating to confidence. I have no signing skills at all but I do know about confi- dence building so I wasnt going to let a little thing like ignorance get in my way. Also, there is a statistic going around that says only seven per cent of communication depends on words so I thought I would have a go. Another element of coaching is the sure knowledge that both coach and coachee are helping each other and that the relationship is entirely symbiotic. Enjoying the ride you have aready broken New Year resoutons ee mnd, body and sprt are out o baance have a tendency to procrastnate Read ths As the wheel of life goes round, its easy to lose our balance. Life coach Jo Middlemiss encourages us to find ways of getting things back on an even keel. Jean arrived from Glasgow with some trepida- tion. She spoke incredibly well thanks to her own determination and she taught me how to speak to her in a relaxed yet focussed way. We also used a flip chart for illustration and word clarification. I had to set up the room differently, use signs and actions and pay even closer attention to my client than usual. However the story was really no dif- ferent to many I had worked with. Dealing with others insensitivity was the presenting problem but the real issue was that my client was looking outside herself for solutions. She wanted to develop skills leading to a new and interesting job but the work would involve speaking in public and she carried with her the memory of being laughed at in school, and one or two insensitive teachers who had treated her as though she was stupid. In her adult life she was a successful wife and mother not to mention a gifted sportswoman at both riding and tennis. She did not rate these talents as successes because they came fairly easily to her. The coaching work was to take the confi- dence she experiences when she feels powerfully in charge of a horse and transfer that confidence to speaking in public. She imagined each session as a hurdle to be leapt over. Another challenge, which faced her was that she was by nature a fun loving and gregarious person. She imagined that it was her deafness that got in the way of her expressing her natural instincts. Jean accepts that nothing can be done about her deafness but the coaching has been useful in as much as she has been able to address her attitude to herself and other people. When she decided to put fear to one side and actually ask people to slow down or to say something again she was amazed to find that they welcomed her interruptions and altered their behaviours accordingly. Her fear of being thought stupid made her critical and judgemental of them. The truth was something very much simpler. Jennifer is a part time speech and language therapist. She is a member of a newly created out-reach team. She is a portfolio worker with other part-time jobs plus time consuming family commitments. Skilful balancing of all these aspects of her life was Jennifers main challenge. After filling in the Wheel of Life diagram (figure 1) Jennifer was able to pinpoint the areas of her life that she needed to smooth out in order for her to be as effective a speech and language ther- apist as she wanted to be. Use of time and space SPEECH & LANGUAGE THERAPY IN PRACTICE SPRING 2004 + wnnng ways seres () plus developing good relationships with her new colleagues was Jennifers main concern. One of the seemingly innocuous questions in my first session form is: What unfinished jobs and unused items do you have using up your energy and space? Initially this had not been Jennifers focus but when she realised that she could hardly get into her study to get going on her plans and make her decisions, she decided that she would like to tackle that first. Calm and productive She was honest enough to acknowledge that although she was always busy she was also a bit of a procrastinator. Procrastinators are rarely lazy people; they are just people who do not differen- tiate between urgent and important. They tend to do the jobs as they come at them so life tends to be like driving through a snowstorm with inef- ficient wipers. Its exciting and absorbing but you never seem to be getting anywhere. There was so much stuff in Jennifers office that she was con- tinuously searching for and stepping over things. So, somewhere that she would like to have as a calm and productive place had become a place she just wanted to close the door on. I asked her to imagine her room with absolutely nothing in it. How does that feel? Fantastic? Jo: Is it in decorative order that appeals to you? Jen: Yes. Jo: Now, in your imagination, start putting things back in the order you need and want them... Now followed a process of replacing only essen- tial items. Computer table and computer, desk, comfortable chair, bookcase and only half the books from the bookcase. Once Jennifer had a mental picture of a clear and peaceful space to work she felt motivated to clear that space and to get the work done that she had been putting off. Unnecessary piles of paper and unread articles were discarded, books taken to a central base where they could be used by others, and borrowed equipment returned. Once she had a plan and had committed herself to the job nothing could hold her back. The spin off was that clutter in other parts of the house was tackled also. Her children were enlisted to help and her mood lightened when she realised how oppressive all the excess stuff was. The sense of satisfaction and success in this area encouraged Jennifer to start tackling other areas of her life. There was a good outcome for me too as I reor- ganised all my books after my session with Jennifer. Balance is important, and we all seek it. But why? Firstly, balance is not a static state. You know that the minute you try to stay still on a bicycle you will probably fall off. No, we need constant small adjustments and corrections to stay on the bike and on the path. Out of balance is that awful feeling that one is being driven by cir- cumstances. When I see hearty people riding a tandem it gives me the collywobbles - I wouldnt want someone else riding my bike! When you feel as if you have no choices in any situation - know that the bike is beginning to wobble. When you hear yourself saying things like I cant.....I have to.... I need to......That wont work because she would never... - know then that your ego, gremlin, lower self, call it what you will, has taken over the steering of your life. FEAR is its usual guise but, when your awareness notices, then its time to stop, think and look for options and to call on that part of you which is not hindered by past failures, fears or limiting beliefs. That is where your spiritual self comes in and gets you back into balance. No one can do that for you, and no one makes it happen. There are always choices, because there is always more than one way to look at anything and there is always a choice of attitude. And after everything else there is a call to action. What am I willing to do to change this situation and what am I willing to stop doing to make this situation better? So let this year be about solutions rather than resolu- tions and then, rather than desperately worrying about punctures or falling off, you will enjoy the ride. Jo Middlemiss is a qualified Life Coach with a back- ground in education and relationship counselling, tel. 01356 648329, www.dreamzwork.co.uk. Reference Whitworth, L., Kimsey-House, H. & Sandahl, P. (1998) Co-Active Coaching: New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life. Davies-Black Publishing. Would you like to: Identify and achieve your dreams Unlock your potential Confront difficult decisions Shake off restrictive behaviours and limiting beliefs Gain and maintain mental and spiritual balance Be aware of and use your talent? Our series Winning Ways with Personal Life Coach Jo Middlemiss aims to help you find out how you can be better at what you do, and better at being you. To gather material to make the issues - and their potential solutions - as realistic and relevant as possible for readers, Jo offers readers a confidential and complimentary half-hour telephone coaching session (for the cost only of your call). Although Winning Ways will be based on what is raised in the calls, you can be reassured that details will be altered so that it will not be possible to identify individuals. CALL JO ON 01356 648329 (www.dreamzwork.co.uk). Do l recognse and ace up to my ears' Do l know where l coud reease energy and space' Do l see what l need to start - and what l need to stop - dong' Reectons Figure 1 (see, for example, Whitworth et al, 1998) Physical Environment Career Money Fun and recreation Health Personal growth Friends and family Significant other/ Romance The eight sections represent balance. The centre is 0, the outer edge is 10. Rate your level of satisfaction with each section, then draw a new outer edge (example below). How bumpy is your Wheel of Life now?
A Social Problem Is Any Condition or Behavior That Has Negative Consequences For Large Numbers of People and That Is Generally Recognized As A Condition or Behavior That Needs To Be Addressed