This is a not so well written account of a recent occurrence with my sister.

Being that I am tired, there are probably typos in my annotations and errors elsewhere. To clarify, the messages below are actual and exact to how they were sent/received. My sister is bipolar and has been trying to get regulated for months. An incident with Adam (her boyfriend, now ex) lead her to threaten her life and the life of her two year-old daughter, Rachel, this Spring. My sister was placed in a 72-hour hold (to which my mother visited her several times and I visited once when I heard and found time to go to Oshkosh, a distance from my life in La Crosse) and had Rachel removed from her custody. My parents and grandparents took custody of Rachel and had to deal with my sister when she was able to leave the psychward of the hospital. Tracey was still quite a mess at this point and could not be alone with Rachel per the court. My sister tormented my mother for not breaking the rules and letting her have unsupervised time with Rachel or take her home despite the order. Tracey told our parents and grand parents that they would never see Rachel again, this was not the first or last time for that comment and they often had to deal with her anger over the whole thing. I also babysat Rachel, this meant driving home every chance that I could get away so that I could share some of the burden and give everyone a much needed break; not to mention, my mother is 53, father is 63, and grandparents are 76 and 80 years young, all of which feel their physical age when trying to keep up with a two year-old. Tracey also had to participate in day treatment for several months. For those months, Tracey was unable to work and my parents paid her bills, also at this time, Adam was detoxing and unable to work (his mother contributed to the bills but not as much as mine had). Therapy was a joke and all the therapist did was believe my sister and her delusions. On top of my sister telling the shrink that she had been beaten regularly by my father (a falsity) she began to believe that I wanted an incestrious relationship with her because I was always looking at her boobs and ass. To get this straight, my sister has quite large breasts and wears clothing that falls down so her boobs are always out, as is her ass-crack. Since she was 13, I have told her to put her assets away if they were showing too much in my presence, as any protective brother would.I finally decided this was the best time to tell her of my homosexuality so that she understood that was, one, delusional, and two, that I didnt like her female body. She also had another delusion that she has been financially independent since she was 15, also false, as she didnt have a job until she was 17. This is approximately the time when Tracey told me that our parents were never supportive of her, something I instantly rebuttaled. This whole experience

was rocky and not helped when treatment ended and Tracey went back to work. Tracey and Adam moved into Adam (and his exwifes) old house about two months ago (they had been living in one of my fathers rentals prior to that) and Adam resumed working after his treatment for drug abuse. From the get-go, my sister was responsible for more of the finances than Adam (a known fact as my parents were still covering most of her bills) and this upset them. My mother would simply point out the discrepancies and my sister would agree or become volatile, she also mentioned things werent working out between them around this time. A month or so had passed and I found out that my sister was single and jobless from my mother so I sent my sister this message. Bradley Winkelman: So, I am not one to give advice but from the sounds of it, a few words from me won't hurt you.... Adam broke up with you and yes, that will hurt for a while. Although you still love him, he doesn't love you and living with the man is not going to repair your heart. Plus, you remaining in his house is an excuse for you to pay more of his bills because he has his own bills and you have to pay more....that is bullshit. I am also sorry to hear about the loss of your job. I hope you get online and apply for unemployment benefits so that you can get them in a few weeks, it is money that you will want and need. So, all in all, I love you but get the hell out of Adam's house, ya hear? Clearly, living there isn't good for you and waiting for him to find a roommate is going to be a month at the shortest so it is just an excuse for him to use you as a cash-cow and for you to be near him....neither is good for you. This may sound a little brutal but that isn't my intention, you are my sister and I will always be protective. Tracey Winkelman: There is another women Bradley Winkelman: Well, get the fuck out of there. Tracey Winkelman: I will once he gets a roommate. Maybe sooner if things keep going like this. Bradley Winkelman: Ummmm, you have no reason to stay and every reason to go Tracey Winkelman: The kids. Bradley Winkelman: Mom and grandparents can resume babysitting. You can live with mom until you find an apartment and get in your new job.

Tracey Winkelman: And I still love him Bradley Winkelman: Do you honestly think Adam is going to stay in Rachels life? Tracey Winkelman: He says he want to Bradley Winkelman: You loving him wont make him love you. You are money to him. The sooner you grasp this, the sooner you will move out and on with life. Tracey Winkelman: IK Brad ok Bradley Winkelman: No, you matter, you deserve good things, and you are worth more than the value you give yourself. He is dulling your shine and making you feel cheap. And your inability to let him go has done nothing but kill your finances and drive you to the sad house. Tracey Winkelman: Im no denying that. I arrived home from work and received this facebook message from Adam, on Traceys facebook at around 11:30pm Tracey Winkelman via Adam Boettcher (of Fond du lac, WI; her exbf): Who the fuck r u to know anything about my relationship with ur sis? Using her for money seriously u fucking homo!!! U giving relationship advice like u know what the fuck ur talking about. Shes not getting dicks up her ass like u so don't pretend u know everything u self centered piece of shit. Do her a favor and only open ur mouth to shove a cock down ur throat instead of making her feel bad or hurting her more since u and ur parents are so fucking good at that. Just cause we broke up doesn't mean I won't stick up for her from dicks like urself. She's better off with me even tho we broke up then she is living with ur fucking dysfunctional dumbass parents who treat her like shit and then they have no idea why she has issues and why she knows she's better off hear cause they r to stuck in fucking denial and stuck in there own fucking heads they can't c how they hurt her so many times for so many years. So shut the fuck up and don't pretend u know what ur sis is thinking and don't judge her because she has become a different a better version of herself by being with me and around me no matter what has happened. Maybe try supporting her something that probably isn't in ur vocab cause ur to full of urself to c anything. So do us all a favor and shut the fuck up or shove some dicks down ur throat either

way I don't care but don't fuck with other pole business. If ur not gonna support her like u should cause that's what brothers well in ur case sisters do then leave her alone. I've never seen someones own family b so mean so terrible to their siblings/child. U guys are a fucking disgrace and in my eyes I'm the only real family she has since u guys got ur heads stuck up ur asses. Suck on that u stupid fuck!!!!!!!!!!! Bradley Winkelman: Those dumbass parents have been paying YOUR bills and keeping you two from financial ruin. Have you forgotten how you lived in my father's rental for nothing? Oh yeah, my parents are soooo terrible, keeping you two afloat while you, yourself, detoxed and laid on the couch useless....what a fucking treat. Paying for the utilities and for Tracey's gas, etc so she could get to treatment, oh yeah, that isn't being supportive. Neither of my parents like you but guess what, my mom told Tracey that she can be with who ever makes her happy, that included you. They paid for Rachel's day care and when they didn't, you abused the child? Did Rachel ask for two hand-prints on her ass? Father of the year award for your child abuse. My parents have been nothing but supportive of my sister and they have even gone so far to insure that she didn't lose anything when she was unable to work and made sure that Rachel remained in family custody. Bradley Winkelman: Why the hell should she stick around and deal with your shit and why should you put up with hers. Clearly, you are toxic to each other and I want the best for my sister and that isn't you. You are controlling and you have done nothing but try to drive a wedge between Tracey and my parents and now you are trying to drive one between Tracey and I....that isn't going to happen. You don't love her....or there wouldn't be another woman and that is not to mention her indiscretion months ago. Bradley Winkelman: So now, you are simply using her and unfortunately, she is nice enough to take your shit. Waiting around for you to find a roommate, my sis is a fucking saint and way above you. In the mean time, she will be a cash source to you...well, not my saintly sister but my parents because Tracey is jobless, something that you already know. Bradley Winkelman: Guess what?...my sister matters. Tracey is important, intelligent, a hard worker, and the only reason for your success at this point. Without my sister, you'd still be using and probably living in your mother's basement. Without my sister and the financial SUPPORT that my parents provide, you will not keep your house because you sure as hell can't afford it. Bradley Winkelman:

So for a family that doesn't support Tracey, they sure have done a lot to prevent her from the failure that someone without support would have succumb to. Without our parents, Rachel would have been gone to another family, you would have been homeless, Tracey would have never made it out of therapy because she wouldn't have had money to get there, etc. So think about it. Also, grow some balls, I never called you the piece of shit that you truly are, I just simply told Tracey to move on so you both can be happy. You going on her fb and probably her phone and such is a gross form of control and is ridiculous. If you aren't together, you have NO right. Also, if I find out you have laid one-single-hand on my niece ever again or dare to treat my sister badly, this dick taking fag will come and get you. My friend, that is a fucking promise because those two women are my family, a family that would be much stronger if I wasn't on the other side of the state. To explain something that is probably quite clear, Adam left a handprint on each of Rachels butt cheeks and you probably wonder, what could a child of 2 do to deserve corporal punishment? My niece was potty training, had pooped her underwear (she wasnt wearing pants or shorts) and it had gotten on the couchso Adam paddled her butt so hard the marks were there for days. The aftermath, Rachel didnt poop for almost a week because she was afraid to and to this day, she will cry when left in Adams care. Also, my sister told him that if he ever spanked Rachel again, she would leave him but during the conversation, he cried and seemed truly sorry(is what she told me, as I called her just as soon as I had found out) so Tracey let it go but made sure that other babysitting options were utilized so Rachel wasnt alone with him for extended periods of time. Back to the conversationTracey called me shortly after the last facebook message and told me how unsupportive a brother I have been along with me defending how supportive I have actually been. She went off about all the delusions she has about our crappy parents and how great her life away from our parents has been. It ended with me telling her that I wish her luck in her future but dont want to talk about this anymore and dont want to talk to her. My sister has exhausted my emotion and patience...the next move was to call my mother and tell her all the shit my sister had spewed and how badly she talked about my parents. This was to convince my mother to let my sister fall on her face and stop paying her bills; if my mother is such a terrible person, she should know and not feel compelled to provide financial support. My sister needs to be kicked out of the nest so she can fly or hit the pavement. My mother agreed with this but decided that she

would still provide the cash for the bills this month and will pay for health coverage, car insurance, and $20 a week for gas to find a new job. Tracey called me the next day when I was at work (around 4:30pm) and left a voicemail for me that she wanted to talk. Although she sounds a little apologetic and somber, I couldnt call back and then received the following fb message within minutes. Tracey Winkelman but a message from Adam Boettcher (her exbf): U fucking pussy come get me and we will c who has balls u fucking fagot. First get ur facts straight u douche bag and second ur sis is letting me write this I'm not looking on her phone or controlling her. Ur so fucking dumb its not even funny. I didn't do anything to either of them I can't help ur family doesn't know there ass from there face. I sure can't tell when I look at u. So fuck u and I only pray I run into u cause I'll kick ur ass like the pussy u r. I wouldn't have been homeless I could've left anytime ur such an idiot thinking u know anything about anything. The only thing u do fucking know is that u like dicks up ur ass. So for the last fucking time shut the fuck up u piece of shit otherwise I will find u and u will b crying like the gay ass bitch u r. Have a good day fuckface. Tracey Winkelman but a message from Adad: Oh yeah I think its time daddy found out about ur little gay problem so u can try to b fixed like he tried to fix Tracey. I'll make sure to let him know that ur a fag. Good luck penis toucher. Bradley Winkelman: You can have her, fine. FYI, your intellect is lacking and you are clearly have no respect for anyone. The next time you want to talk to me, use spell check and learn proper grammar...clearly, you are the dumb ass. No one tried to fix Tracey, they supported her psychiatric care so her mind could be normalized. Go ahead and fix her, I'm done with this. I have no sister and I have no interest in you. You can keep Rachel too, I'm done fighting for nothing. Then I texted my sister, after reading Adams message and replying. At this point, I was edgy and still exhausted from yesterdays conversations. How long can I let her wear me down? It is hard when you are there for your sister your whole life and then be confronted as the never being there for her.it is even harder when her exbf/roommate sends such a hatefilled message, with her blessing. Bradley Winkelman:

I am at work until 11 and I will NOT be talking to you any more. Your ex and his comments are rude and hateful, so fine, he can have you and he can have Rachel tooI no longer want anything to do with you because, he is speaking for you. Have a good life, good luck in your job search, and have a happy future; my support ended when I received his last message. Dont try to contact me, I am blocking you on facebook and blocking your number. If you want to talk to me, call mom and she will relay the message. I am done here. Tracey Winkelman: Really ur going to disown ur sis that easily. Bradley Winkelman: Shut up. I refuse to have your friends belittle me and use such ignorant hate speech. He said that he speaks for you, so we are done. I am not disowning you, Im letting him have you, he obviously wants a wall to be built between us. Well, guess what? This isnt worth the fight anymore. Tracey Winkelman: Really u dont want ur sis in ur life just like that I see how much u really love and support me. No Adam was just giving his opinion, which is healthy to release I should have done it years ago but Adam has helped me to realize is that I need to stand up for myself which is what I am doing. If u dont like my opinion and see how little to. Do you know mom said the reason why I was beaten by dad was to fix me it had nothing to do with the psyward. To interject, my sister was never beaten, we received spankings on a very rare occasion, later noted to prevent the reader from thinking my father was abusive. My sister and I are 12.5 months apart, we were always together so her delusions are simply that, delusions. Bradley Winkelman: I am done supporting you and wanting you around, especially when you tell Adam, your counselors, and friends how terrible of a brother I am and how unsupportive I am. Same with how you bash our parents who have done nothing but support you and let you know that you are never in a corner and ALWAYS have options. Leave me alone, okay? Just leave me alone. Dad didnt beat you, you are fucked in the head if you think so because I was always there and he wasnt beating you in the basement or anything secretive. Grow up, we got a spanking, maybe once a year. Leave me alone. Tracey Winkelman:

I just dont get it.. maybe I was wrong in think u were different than mom and dad I thought u would understand I thought I could give my opinion to u but I was wrong apparently u cant handle the truth U were always put on a pedistile growing up where u could do nothing wrong and I was always in the dog house so u have no idea what it was like for me growing up no wonder u dont understand and ur a prime example on why I have issues.. Im so stupid for thinking that u would understand and for thinking that u actually loved me Im done with u Bradley Winkelman: You are wrong, this whole "dad beat me all the time" is not factual or based in reality. I wish I could have been at your sessions with the shrink because this over exaggeration is a problem. And you of all people should talk, you begged for dad to hit you and shouted at him the most rotten of names. Well, your exaggeration has gotten you something, a shrink and Adam, all at the expense of losing your family. No one can fight for you if you don't want us. I was never the wonder child, another one of your exaggerations. I never got more than you did, I just did what our parents asked me to do. I didnt smoke, drink, have sex, run away, etcyou did. Tracey Winkelman: Fuck off u have no idea what I went through Bradley Winkelman: I didnt have to do things my way like you did, I was fine with fitting in and following the rules. You did this to yourself and I have no pity to give you. Leave me alone. Tracey Winkelman: I wonder why I did.our family Im done with u u dont understand and u dont get itif u ever do u can talk to me otherwise Im done with ur stupid ass Bradley Winkelman: No, because you wanted to. You have an inability to see how your actions are your own. We had the same upbringing but one of us followed the rules and one of us didnt. You never appreciated my support and now, you will be without. If you are going to blame anyone for your position, blame yourself. You are uninvited to anything that I am the center of: my college grad party, navy going away party and birthday. I want nothing to do with you or Adam, and Rachel will be fine without her faggot uncle. Be spectacular, you matter and have a brain. Lastly, leave me alone, that is all I ask. A reply is not desired nor necessary, as there is nothing else to say. Tracey Winkelman: Ur really going to be like this cuz Im going if I can make it

She is referring to the events that I had uninvited her to. Bradley Winkelman: No, you will not ruin my events, they are about me and not youmom and dad will back me on this and I will have you removed if you try. Leave me alone. Tracey Winkelman: Ur actions prove that u are not supportive and never have been they also prove that u dont love me cuz love is unconditional Bradley Winkelman: Love has nothing to do with this, I will not be supportive of you while your ex speaks his hate speech and says its from you. I dont care anymore, he can have you; Im done fighting and Im pulling my support. As far as Im concerned, we are two different people that share family, that is it. Now seriously, leave me alone, we are through. Tracey Winkelman: Id like to see u try and remove me I cant believe u are being so selfish I give u an opinion and u cant see that wow thought u were different U never say anything to me unless something bad happens never. What kind of brother is that so why dont u chill out and be a man. Bradley Winkelman: I am being a man. This dick-taking-faggot is done with his sister and her ex, as far as you are concerned, you are an only child and you are not invited, period. Tracey Winkelman: Why are u being like this yes he used words that I wouldnt have used but it got the point across sry those names offended u but dont throw a relationship away with ur sis.. thats not right Ur loss are u not a man ur gonna make Rahel suffer because of a disagreement? that isnt a man Bradley Winkelman: He didnt make any point or prove anything. Your reading comprehension must have been close to zero when you read my fb messages because he called me names and said that I fail at doing all the things that I told you in my messages to you. Quit using Rachel to try to change my mind, in my eyes, you and she belong to Adam and bear no relation to me. Tracey Winkelman: Ok Didnt know u were god and that u were always right Well Rachel deserves an uncle and how cold hearted of a person u are to take that away from her.. and u wonder why I dont get along with our family

And I dont belong to anyone Bradley Winkelman: You indecisive bitch. You have pulled Rachel from me at least three times and said I would never see her againand now I leave and I am the bad guy? How many times have you said the same thing to mom? Keep your kid and know that this is YOUR fault and yours alone that I will no longer be a part of your life. Now, leave me alone, we are through here. You told everyone that your family isnt supportive? Well, your wish came true; I will have nothing to do with you. Tracey Winkelman: Think about ur decision before u make it thats all I ask Bradley Winkelman: Decision made, you have pushed me away enough and called me every name in the book, on top of unsupportive. I have had enough, you got your wish, now let me be. Tracey Winkelman: I want u in mine and Rachel life Bradley Winkelman: That isnt how you are treating me and I am no ones doormat. You have gone above and beyond being a royal-shit and your ex has solidified your place in my life, you are dirt. Tracey Winkelman: Nice to know how u really feel wish I would have know that years ago Im trying to be nice I guess u cant Bradley Winkelman: I didnt think that then but as of recent, my opinion has changed. Nice or not, we are done. Tracey Winkelman: So only u can get mad and maybe say things u didn't mean.. but remember this all started with the message u sent me first and how I should get out of here and go live with mom really that pissed me off cuz u know nothing on why or how I am doing or the fact that I'm happier in fondy away from mom and dad u aren't there when they lecture me u aren't there when they degrade me for staying u have no idea what they have said to me over the years cuz u weren't there all the time like u think that u were brad u have no idea what its like to be bipolar and all the meds that I have been on and are hopefully done changing u have no idea what's it's like in my shoes.. don't forget I did all this while trying my damndest to be a good mom to Rachel. And someday I feel like I am failing her miserably ... I finally am at a good place where everything is OK for once in my fucked up life and no one seems to care all they want to do if give their opinions on what I should do... well I'm sick of it so I gave my opinion well Adam got

pissed at how worked up I was and he gave his that doesn't mean that I agree with the terminology that he used but I do agree with the points that he made. I'm sorry that offended u but u have to remember people get pissed and say things they don't necessarily mean I received the above message when I was talking to my mother on the phone, finally home from work. My mother had also informed me that my sister had told my father that I am gay, something that he wasnt aware of and I am not sure if he had assumptions or not. My mother has known since January of 2009, when I had my first gay relationship and this was due to the 25 mile distance between his house and mine and that winter was filled with ice and snow storms, it was the safe thing to do. As stated earlier, I told my sister to help her get over the incest delusion and left my father and extended family in the dark because it wasnt pertinent information. I was waiting for the right guy to come along so everyone could see that I was happy with him and understand that gay or straight, it is the same love (I also come from a Catholic, conservative family and had qualms over outing myself to them based on religion and politics). Anyway, back to the story.My mother said my dad responded with a text message that was something to the effect of, you have done enough damage, if you think we are unsupportive now, I will not be giving you any financial support from now on, fuck off. My father is upset about the whole thing with my sister, as my sister treats him like shit and only gives him affection when she needs gas money, a bill paid, or something she wants. Dad has simply given up, my sister and her disease are exhausting. I sent the following message to my sister while talking to my mom. My mother and sister had no comment on the final text but my sisters last text was confirmed to be a conglomeration of my mothers analysis of the situation; apparently while I was still at work, my sister had caller her upset and screaming.basically, my sisters apologies were based on what my mother found to be the issues, my sister didnt seem to understand why I was upset and the reason for her calling my mother was to tell her the names that I had called her, another delusion. Bradley Winkelman: You cant take this back and you cant take back what you decided to tell Dad. Im glad youre happy in Fondy and hope that you are truly content with what you told dad. You really are dead to me now and you made that decision, you couldnt just leave this between you and I, you had to drag others into this and rip a family apart. Like I said, you are my former sister and dead to me. I hope you include all the details of this when you tell your friends about this.

How crappy is it that I am so emotional tired of my sister that it makes me physically ill? To protect myself, I simply had to cut her out. I cant take the names she calls us, how she tells us how unsupportive we are, how all the times I babysat for Rachel when Tracey couldnt be alone with her dont add up to loving her, and the bigot remarks from her boyfriend that I wouldnt have used but it got the point across. It is hard to be told you are a terrible brother all the time and continueI finally had enough. Do I know if things will get better?..... I dont. Will Tracey and I come back together and be functional siblings? I dont have the answer to that either but what I do know is that this isnt easy. Like I said before, my sister and I are 12.5 months apart; my sister was my bestfriend growing up and always a part of my life, even with the distance between us geographically.