1 Mindfulness is the Practice of Tuning Into Some Things and Tuning Out Others Richard E.

Boyatzis and Bauback Yeganeh With glasses of wine and standing in front of a blazing fireplace in a townhouse in one of the oldest sections of town, an old friend and former boss, asked a simple question, Are you having fun? Dimitrios1 paused and looked at his friend. Should he give the typical, Great answer and move on, or should he try to answer the question? It was odd. He was not often caught off guard or found to be speechless in social settings. But there he stood for what must have seemed like hours to his friend. Of course, it was only about 15-20 seconds, but it was much longer than social norms would suggest appropriate. So his friend asked, Are you OK? Dimitrios said, Yes, but I was trying to answer your question honestly. Ill worry about that tomorrow. How is your business going? His friend answered quickly and waved to someone else at the party and moved to another conversation, wanting to escape what might be a discussion that would be too heavy and too deep for a casual evening. But the seconds of that pause haunted Dimitrios on the ride home and the next morning. It did not make sense to him. Dimitrios was the CEO of a consulting company. The company was growing, but something was off, like mold growing in a damp basement. About 200 staff, mostly with PhDs, worked for the company. It was growing rapidly and building an international market. In an all too typical story, he did not notice thats he and his wife had not had any of those laugh until you can cry moments in months. Conversations with his son seemed to always drift into a functional discussion of schools in his future. He did not notice that he was gaining weight and drinking more than he had previously. Their clients were happy. The consultants were innovating in their services and a few products. The companys growth and reputation was excellent. So it came as a shock when 7 of
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We have changed his name to protect the confidentiality of the executive and the company at his request.

2 the staff spun off their own company and took a group of clients with them. He felt betrayed by these folks, as did others at the company. It happened because he was mindful of some things in his work and life and mindless about others. Mindfulness is being awake and aware,2 a state of being tuned into yourself, others around you and the environment. Mindlessness is the opposite. It is being tuned out or oblivious to important aspects of what is going on around you, and maybe even what is happening inside of yourself. For a variety of reasons explained in some of the other articles in this special issue, mindlessness had been growing in Dimitrios life. He paid attention to clients. He paid careful attention to the financials at home and at work. He was meticulous about the companys marketing. But that extra long moment of wondering whether or not he was having fun was a wake-up call. He talked to his wife, and at her suggestion called two of his long time friends. Both suggested that he take some time to reflect and that some form of retreat or management training might be best if it involved personal coaching. Although Cleveland was not on his regular travel schedule, he decided to attend the Leadership Deep Dive program at WSOM. It was during some of the sessions and in the lengthy discussions with his coach in the program that Dimitrios realized that he had let his life get away from him. His personal vision was clear, but the implementation had gone awry. So he decided to make some changes-- big changes. The discussions made it clear that he had stopped paying what little attention he had to his own health- so that needed some attention. It was really clear to him that he had been so focused on his company and clients that he did not seem to have time or energy left for his wife or son. After fruitless complaints and arguments, they had just given up on Dimitrios and began to find other things to which to devote their energy.

Boyatzis, R.E. & McKee, A. (2005). Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others through Mindfulness, Hope and Compassion. Harvard Business School Press: Boston, Massachusetts.

3 Mindfulness means intentionally paying attention. But paying attention seems to have a limit. One cannot pay attention to everything. Dimitrios learned some techniques for alternating his attention. For example, he learned to scan and make eye contact with audience members of his frequent speeches in order to connect with them and anchor himself in the moment. He realized he also needed to scan his life and relationships regularly. He returned to a series of discussions that he and his wife would have in earlier years about having fun and exploring things together. They agreed on a goal of spending a weekend every month going somewhere they had not been and just relaxing or exploring. They decided that when he was flying to certain cities in the US and Europe for work, he would add a day or two and she would join him. He was systematically tuning into his wife and their relationship. He needed to do the same with his son, so they discussed ways that might work within his school schedule and his interests. He even decided that he should be more mindful of his key people at work and less focused on their clients-- the others could focus on the clients. Recent neurological research explains part of the dynamics that caused Dimitrios slide into mindlessness. When one is focused on solving a problem or analyzing something, as he often was with clients and company challenges, networks in the brain that allow you to tune into other people and their feelings are suppressed.3 This discovery added to the growing insights about two forms of attention: focused and scanning. We need to focus to get a problem solved or complete a task-- this uses networks in the brain called the prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex. But at the same time, we need to scan to become aware of what is going on

Jack, A., Dawson, A., Ciccia, A. Cesaro, R., Barry, K., Snyder, A., & Begany, K. (2009). Social and mechanical reasoning define two opposing domains of human higher cognition. Presented at the Society for Neuroscience Annual Conference in Chicago, 2009. The manuscript is currently under in-depth review in Science.

4 around us-- this uses different networks in the brain often associated with being social and tuning into others feelings.4 Developing and practicing mindfulness can take many forms, but they all allow us to pause and tune in. As you practice mindfulness techniques, they become easier to integrate into your life and the results are profound. People notice the difference and feel valued. But learning these techniques is not something we can do on our own when our lives and work are full. Work routines are seductive and result in us engaging demands unconsciously when we should be intentionally focusing on the things being neglected. This is where working with a coach becomes a crucial ingredient in breaking automatic (i.e., unconscious) routines in order to mindfully create a sustainable, productive, healthier and more enjoyable life.

Boyatzis, R.E., Passarelli, A.P., Koenig, K., Lowe, M., Mathew, B., Stoller, J. & Phillips, M. (in press). Examination of the Neural Substrates Activated in Experiences with Resonant & Dissonant Leaders. Leadership Quarterly.