june 1 2013 I Am Sleeping Somewhere Dark And Thinking How Strange It Is To Have Once Been In Love With High

Schoolers june 2 2013 tips for getting a pretty girl to fall in love with you: take the rst word of every sentence in your favorite book and reorder them into a love poem realize that there is a love poem at the peak of every mountain on this planet when you see her face through satellite imaging of mt saint helens, you will know the rest june 3 2013 if you dont send this poem to 25 friends in the next 50 minutes you will experience certain negative repercussions which may be oddly life-threatening or just minor inconveniences i cannot make any promises; the future is vast and unknowable and only probabilistic if you send all my emails to your spam folder youre thinking progressively for the one person who reads this and copy/pastes it into any format: thank you for your patronage, but if you dont send this to 24 more people, remember i cannot promise you that you arent "fucked" june 4 2013 my 17th birthday was spent at an ex-girlfriend's house and the nearby park she nearly broke up with me on the swing set so i watched 3 john hughes movies alone at night my 18th birthday was at a synod assembly of the evangelical lutheran church of america at the hotel that night i shared a strawberry swisher sweet with a bigot and a bed with his brother my 19th birthday i had a panic attack in a coffee shop for no discernible reason able to buy wine in canada, i did so a month later to share it out of a water bottle at a talent show my 20th birthday was spent in an ofce and cleaning dorm rooms for 12 hours my mother calls me, the last time she will be able to before my parents move to africa for 3 years she asks me how im doing, how my birthday was, if im okay "im doing ne, mom. im doing great"

june 5 2013 my rst novel will be about a young man feeling existential anguish/apathy because all he can afford is a chromebook he sadly dances to the rhythm of a laptop fan, the startup chime, soft notication beeps in the apartment next door i am having a good time with windows 95 i hope you enjoyed this parable about simplicity in the technological world june 6 2013 the oldest known melody in the world is, though both understandable and non-romantic, not in the pitch or timbre of your gasping whispers or the pianissimo coda del forte of your slight sleeping breaths but in a stone tablet from 1600 BC that contains naught but your name and the word "beauty" in passionate repetition june 7 2013 in human anatomy, the hamstring is a group of tendons connecting the three posterior thigh muscles to a concrete experience of "reality" semitendinosus - fusiform, with curves as a reminder of the highway stretches near mt. rushmore where i have witnessed fatal motorcycle crashes semimembranosus - medial, painful and sore from kicking in recurring dreams where i pull muscles running either after or away from the parts of my brain that will decay rst during old age biceps femoris - in two parts, a reminder of cartesian duality, both mind/body and you/me june 8 2013 coming home from the jeffrey lewis show we nd a white cavalier totaled, t-boned into our fence and parking strip it is 2:53 am and i am writing this half-delirious from sleep deprivation and emotional disturbance i am writing this for the police record; they will interview me in court and i will direct them to my blog i fell asleep on i-205 leaving portland while listening to a live taylor swift album this day of the human experience is best described as surreal chaotic nostalgia

june 9 2013 after i agree to ofciate my sister's wedding a large military cargo plane ies overhead on its way to the nearby air force base i know the y-bys better than i know my sister even now i am trying to imagine the pilot's apprehension, the apprehension of ight instead of asking her for wedding details i am agging down the plane using the following semaphore: SOS LOVE CONQUERS ALL EXCEPT THE SLOW GRAVITY DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE SOS june 10 2013 this is a fugue for the lost sensation in the small of my back this is a dirge for the number of days i have considered the emergency room to be a comforting place this is an anthem for the taste of iron in my mouth after we (try to) sleep together this is a psalm for modernity as known through the fractal patterns of broken iphone screens this is a chorus for the symptomatology of being in love june 11 2013 i dualboot the mental faculties of my brain that produce emotions like the hard drive of my computer i think of important societal things on the right (politics, global social issues, pandemics, natural disasters, the histories of philosophy and various nobilities) and i think of important personal subjectivity on the left (heartbreak, childbirth, broken promises, rst experiences with death, hands grasping hair in dark church parking lots) at times i understand with the dual-core processor of me that death is life's spellcheck june 12 2013 it is crazy to me, the longevity of this bedroom from the 19th century when i hear arguments for the weariness of structuralism i wonder if people have ever had sex in the parthenon or the sistine chapel the hours i have spent with another body become millennia at the molecular level of sweat and bedsprings, of marble and skin even just one square inch of you is inherently more lovely than the mona lisa

june 13 2013 the moon is a simile for separation i stretch 238,855 miles to see her face and 343 miles to kiss your cheekbone june 14 2013 you make me feel like the time i was at stadium high school standing in the stadium where heath ledger performed that scene from ten things i hate about you it was nearing midnight and i wanted to shout poetry from the 50 yard line but i was overcome by unexpected feelings of restraint so instead i returned to my dorm room this is how i felt when you called and wanted to talk about the things you wanted to talk about june 15 2013 my housemate drinks two bottles of champagne and plays diablo 2 with his girlfriend this saturday night my girlfriend lives in another country and my illegal activities will never warrant a second glance in the past week i have worked at ve high school graduations and have grown tired despite the idea of valedictorianism not because of their elitism or awkwardly tall method of self presentation but because i remember being there and not thinking with the poetic malaise that i now understand as the only authentic method of self reection june 16 2013 should i get "dismissive" tattooed to the bottom of my foot as a reminder to the ground that im doing it a favor? june 17 2013 i write facebook messages like personal essays: long, slow, introspective i block the majority of my family members and high school acquaintances i poke ~20 people every day; in this way i form unspoken friendships via the internet i slow down skrillex albums 8x while considering and deciding against chats/seles/status updates i envy my friends' skills with social networking, but i am alive in the #92b7d4 color code of the sky

june 18 2013 isn't it odd how the human mind expands inwardly ad innitum? i can think of nothing else that does this, except maybe black holes but isn't that just a singularity, a single point of innitely crushed matter, while my memories re: home videos of my father seem endlessly expansive? june 19 2013 this week i worked for an average of 16 hours per day my coworkers speak to each other with the same basic internet-age idioms while my schedule prevents me from speaking to my friends and girlfriend with camus's absurdist melodrama the next three hours while i sleep i will speak only to constant ow of military planes overhead june 20 2013 possible actions to take with the purpose of saving my own life: 1. get a black ink tattoo of an elk head on the entirety of my chest, antlers up my collarbone and neck 2. break a leg while skateboarding in an empty pool in a rented house in benin that has no electricity and no water besides a single hose 3. sneak into the room of the girl i love, late at night, with an ever-present threat of heavy punishment (for her or for me or for us both) upon the possible discovery of our tryst by an authority gure 4. run away from the police after tagging political/art-related slogans on the sides of concrete walls downtown 5. swim in a half-frozen lake in nothing but my underwear (i have done this once before, it was doubtless the best amount of time i have ever spent in water besides my own skin) june 21 2013 i hope you do not misunderstand my use of the second person singular grammatical person you are not the "you" of a vaguely remembered face and irretrievably forgotten name you are not the "you" of a child's quick hot tears at some non-understandable hurt you are not the "you" of a father and son in constantly downward-drifting condescension no, you are the "you" of the roll of slightly overexposed roll of 200 ISO lm found in my mother's old 35mm camera no, you are the "you" of every pair of shoes i have worn through with the calluses on my pinkie toe no, you are the "you" of me and the rest is just posturing and poetry

june 22 2013 while reading dostoyevsky in front of ve grown men practicing karate for 3 hours the uncontrollable urge to shoot bottle rockets at the super moon resounds through my being the spectrum between suicide and exultation has a circumference of 6,784 miles and humans are just characters in russian novels, blindly aiming illegal reworks at every inch of this perigee-syzygy june 23 2013 after 1 hour of sleep i cut my hair in the back of a public bus after 67 hours of wakefulness i grow it back after trespassing in a neighbor's backyard pool there is something to be said (though i am struggling to say it) about how many strands of my hair have been left in various world locations this is an earthly map of my dna, of the people i have seen kissing in public places all lips and scissors are cartographers, lifeguards, unemployed geneticists (as i write this i am leaving 2 more hairs under a seat in the back of a public bus) (as i write this i am wondering how many humans have seen our lips in close proximity) june 24 2013 the captcha asks me What have you Forgotten? the drop down menu i imagine includes the following: every song/movie you have ever indicated to be life-changing the majority of the times you have held hands with another breathing human how it felt to be on the bus headed to enchanted forest with your kindergarten best friend the password of your preteen social media accounts feelings of health, contentment, belonging the answer, of course, is none of the above june 25 2013 i place ngertips on closed eyelids and push with the resolve of a 13-hour libuster behind my exor pollicis brevis i begin to see luminescence, green and red auroras in the darkness i feel like when i see you in dreams, like my 12-hour depressive haze after watching apocalypse now i want you to know that my astigmatism blurs the edges of everything and that is why i forget to speak with the tenderness of resolve you deserve

june 26 2013 when i hear a car horn out my window i feel like i am in new york again i am somewhere dark on the roof of the marriot near 7th after kim's concussion i return to this place and try to throw a quarter over west 59th into central park i imagine myself like the quarter on the top of its parabolic arc and i am somewhere frozen above hospitals in manhattan june 27 2013 there is such determination in the way ngers move independent of conscious thought on keyboards some day i wish to have john kilduff's passion/stamina re: just about everything when i work 17.25 hours i am entranced trying to discover my words per minute speed any day now i will buy a blender, a treadmill, a paintbrush, a half-hour slot on public access tv let me write the poetry inherent in painting while running while blending drinks; it is obviously more present there than languid ngers in a room alone june 28 2013 i am in love with austin and darnielle's denton, texas from afar even as i long for portland with an intensity that cuts a sharp daily pain through my ribcage i have never been a proponent of nationalism or regionalism in the political venue but how can any person deny that hawthorne blvd is as extensively a part of me as my veins? june 29 2013 i am sitting at a desk for work for 7 hours with an african choir practicing in a lounge on my right and 20 people playing minor-key kalimba on my left i have never before felt this strong about how strange and beautiful the world is june 30 2013 when you call me from the ground of an international airport i swear your voice in my ear is like the whisper of g(G?)od and the deltas and jetblues and lufthansas that are above you sing like they are a choir of mechanical, audio-compressed angels when i y to heathrow i swear the ight path will be the exact shape of your vocal cords

thank you so much for reading.

june, 2013 is a collection of poems i wrote every day in the month of june. the poems were inspired by snapshots of images or memories i had on each of those days; i wrote them to help me remember what i might otherwise forget. june, 2013 is the sixth release in a longer project, in which i am releasing similar collections of poetry at the end of every month in 2013. the reasons are twofold: to keep a strong, specic motivation for poetry writing and to provide a space to improve the quality of my writing outside the traditional academic workshop setting. so please, feel free to critique, comment, suggest, attack, admire, or anything else which i should consider for future works.

also in 2013:
january, 2013 february, 2013 march, 2013 april, 2013 may, 2013

also by jakob maier:

beautiful mean things may

contact me:
facebook.com/iammaier iammaier.tumblr.com iamjakobmaier@gmail.com @iammaier