More wisdom for Sage, can't he just accept a good thing when its flirting with him?

Apparently not. Liam walks towards the Palace Terrace, the trail of his long coat billows in the breeze behind him as he nears.. 8Liam has returned. t Bernie jumps sage) t there RPed now lemme alone, simpsons on) Jedi_Master_Sage woohoo!] Jedi_Master_Sage : actually, no, that was in ooc so it doesn't count] Jedi_Master_Sage walks down the corridor of the praxeum hall and stops at Talera's door. He pauses as he considers her situation and knocks Talera hears the knock and looks up. It was early. She wondered who it might be as she says" come in,...." Jedi_Master_Sage opens the door and enters "Talera, I was wondering if you had a moment to spare" Talera seeing Sage she frowns slightly" sure come on in...Im just perfecting a report for the council.. Have a seat" Jedi_Master_Sage nods and sits down in a chair across from her "You've been married more than once, haven't you?" Talera : no just once... Talera now that was out of the blue. She wondered where this was going. He had never asked her anything personal like this. Jedi_Master_Sage : But you were engaged to another weren't you? Talera : no Sage...I was married once and now I am engaged ...why? Jedi_Master_Sage : Oh, I see, I thought the wedding had already happened. The reason I ask is because I wanted to talk to you about how you handled the end of your marriage. Talera : to be honest...it handled me. It was very hard. Jedi_Master_Sage : I know the feeling, but I doubt you dealt with yours as poorly as I did mine. Talera tilts her head and looks at fishface. She smiles softly" Sage I dont think I have ever seen you handle

anything poorly." Jedi_Master_Sage : You clearly weren't paying attention when I learned the news of the death of Desaray's friend Jedi_Master_Sage : I want to know how you managed to stay away from the darkside during your.. trial Talera : the demise of my marriage I thought happened the day after my daughter was born. She was abducted and Baylock left....I thought he left me. In truth I found out years later he left to find Taera. I left shortly after he did and didnt look back for Talera : years. I wasnt a Jedi then. I knew nothing of the force only that I could make things happen. I think I avoided darkness purely by ignorance. Then. Jedi_Master_Sage : So your lack of a strong connection to the force, meant your emotions were not as augmented and amplified by the force? You basically handled the situation as a "normal" being then? 8hr_Wr has left the conversation. 8rth_Thor has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : wb] rth_Thor : (Thanks) 8rth_Thor is away. Talera : if normal means I hunted sith for fun and smuggled to pay for my fun. Yes. Jedi_Master_Sage : But you stayed away from the darkside, rage was not your motivation, justice was, wasn't it? Talera : revenge was my motivation. Again I was not constrained by the ideas and morals I have now. I thought was if I killed them all eventually I would find my daughter. Jedi_Master_Sage : Do you think you touched the darkside then, as a result of your loss? Talera : I think if the darkside could have it would have swallowed me up with my despair. But something stubborn in me stopped it. Something I cant explain. Jedi_Master_Sage : So you touched the darkside, but resisted it then? 8AshaleeWulf has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : Ash!] 8AshaleeWulf is away. AshaleeWulf : Sage!))

Talera : probably touched it yes. Probably danced with it. But something pure within me kept it at bay. Today I think it was my love for my daughter. Years later my husband showed up on Naboo looking for me. To my surprise we were still married. I was .. Talera : involved with someone at the time. Liam stands up from the bar and moves toward the drawing pad where he sits down and proceeds to sketch a picture of the fountain statues Jedi_Master_Sage : Suppose this happened after you had been trained and become a jedi, how do you feel you would have handled it then? Talera : when he came back I was training...I tried to make it work. It didnt. In the end we had to make a decision. He either would abdicate and come to Naboo. Or I would leave the order. We both chose to remain who we were. Jedi_Master_Sage : Suppose the same situation that happened when your daughter was born happened after you had been trained instead.. 8rth_Thor has left the conversation. AshaleeWulf slinked through the nights shadows similar to that of a cat on the prowl before she made her way towards the palace terrace she was dressed fully in black with her black cloak's hood up over her head hiding her red hair she was also wearing a pair<c> Talera : ok....I think I would have been sad. I would grieve for my marriage and I would find my daughter. AshaleeWulf of darkened glasses as of late her eyes had been having some troubles with bright lights Liam narrows his eyes at the garden wall as he spots out of the corner of his eye, what he sees as a silhouette of a shadow Jedi_Master_Sage : So as a jedi, you would be better equipped to resist the darkside completely? Having a stronger connection to the force, would not make you more vulnerable to grief and despair? Talera : I think being sentient with emotions makes one vulnerable. I think the understanding of the force that as a Jedi we have...gives us some valuable tools to navigate our paths successfully. Jedi_Master_Sage : How would... a relationship itself

protect one from the pain of loss and despair? AshaleeWulf made her way slowly into the terrace her gaze drifting over those around 8AshaleeWulf has returned. Liam nods to Ash with a smile, but remains cautious of anyone who dresses all in black and seems to be attempting to remain concealed Talera : Sage you cant protect yourself against pain or loss. The key to pain and loss is to accept them eventually as part of actually living. AshaleeWulf inclines her head in response to Liam's nod as she moved to a table and sat down she currently left her glasses on till her eyes adjusted to the lighting Liam takes some graphite dust to add shading to th sketch he is making 8hr_Wr has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : wb] Jedi_Master_Sage sighs "So really, its easier to have no one to lose" t dances around his kitchen starkers as he sings the muppets sweedish chef song) hr_Wr (Adds computer to her kill list.) hr_Wr : (Thanks) AshaleeWulf blinks at Boto "just don't pull a three blind mice and cut off something important with a carving knife Boto")) Talera nods slightly" easier if the choice you make doesnt haunt you. And if you like the easy path" She was beginning to get a glimmer of what this may be about. t : uh.. no... i wont be doing that.. i need that) hr_Wr Wlaks onto the terrace and looks around, she walks over to a table and sits down. She looks towards Liam and then towards Ashalee. Jedi_Master_Sage : Would you say one who refuses to enter into a relationship and never becomes close to another, has less vulnerability to the darkside because they have no one to lose, as opposed to one who is deeply close to another, but loses them? AshaleeWulf inclined her head slightly in greeting to

Sapphire as she shifted slightly in her seat Liam nods to Sapphire and then to Ash "Hey there, hows your evening been so far?" Talera : Sage...I think vulnerability comes from the person not the relationship. If a person refuses to get close to another I think they just run the risk of being alone. Loving is a risk even without the darkside. If you are secure in who you are. I dont Talera : think you are any more vulnerable that you allow yourself to be. Jedi_Master_Sage : Two jedi are twins, identical. trained from birth by the same master and are given the same missions for many years because they work so well together. They each meet twin sisters, each sister falls for one of the jedi brothers.. Jedi_Master_Sage : one jedi falls in love and marries the girl. the other does not. After the wedding, there is a shuttle accident that kills both sisters Jedi_Master_Sage : One jedi has lost his wife, the other has lost one he only met as an acquaintance. Who has more to be concerned with by the darkside? Talera : One man grieves his loss and runs the risk of giving in to his pain and the other feels regret for not loving the woman when he had the chance. Both are at risk . But the one that loved will come full circle and be so very glad for the time he had to AshaleeWulf 's gaze moved to Liam before she answered "Same old same old and yours?" Talera : love his wife. And he will have no regrets. Sage we all run the risk everyday that we may stray from our path. Being mindfull of our emotions is what keeps up on our path. Talera : you can be mindfull even during a time of loss. Talera : Loving is hard, Losing is hard. And admittedly there may be some ease in not really living at all. Existing void of any emotion or care for another. No family or close friends that you might mourn one day. Liam : Mostly the same, I'm contemplating whether or not to give up on my current profession of being a private investigator AshaleeWulf : and what are you thinking of becoming? Liam : I have no idea, artistry sounds good, but it only pays

well if you're actually good, I'm ony average. I just get so damn tired of getting calls from jealous spouses who think they're being cheated hr_Wr Smiles alittle and pulls out ehr drawing pad and starts drawing quietly, she looks around slowly Jedi_Master_Sage "Why do you feel so many jedi who have loved and lost either come close to the darkside or fall to it? While others like myself and Tucker who have remained single, have not done so?" he refrains from mentioning what he's been exploring with Bernie for> Jedi_Master_Sage now AshaleeWulf : so take a hiatus from the jealous spouse cases and do a trial run on the artist thing? Liam : Thats mostly the plan. It just means having to scrape by. See, I could get the better cases if I had the right contacts. All these former NIA hotshots keep getting the good jobs because they know people Talera : since I have become a Jedi..when I was myself. I have not come close to darkness. AshaleeWulf : so make some more contacts? Jedi_Master_Sage : But you have never lost Justin, nor would you have much reason to fear you would, he may well probably outlive you AshaleeWulf was almost channeling Deejay then)) Talera : I lost Zio..... t : hmm?) Talera : as for Justin he is constantly throwing himself in harms way. It is his job. Liam : Easily said, What about you? You could pass for an assassin or a biker in that outfit AshaleeWulf : I hit z instead of s before correcting it)) Jedi_Master_Sage : I thought you never had a chance to become deeply involved with him? AshaleeWulf : whose to say I'm not one or the other? t : lol) Liam smirks as he orders a scotch "good point, you want anything?" AshaleeWulf : juice please? Liam singles the waitress droid "and a jawa juice"

Liam : Why they call it that I'll never know Talera I told you that I loved him Sage...you dont recall that? " She wonders how he would react if he knew the twins her Zios children. Thankfully her thoughts were carefully guarded. AshaleeWulf : maybe they squeeze it from Jawa's? :: Ashalee was trying to be funny:: Jedi_Master_Sage : You never said it went deeper than that Liam : heh, scary thing is, I've seen jawas drink it on tatooine Talera : deeper than love? I guess Im not understanding your defination here. We were in love Sage.....I loved him and he loved me. Talera she chuckles softly. Zio had been such a hard loss. 8hr_Wr has left the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : But to share an emotion and to express that love by entering into a relationship are not the same thing, right? AshaleeWulf : so ya got a name? or should I just call you arty dick? Talera : what makes you think we didnt have a relationship? We dated for almost two years. Liam : I have a name and if you call me that, your assassin skills or biker brawling will get tested very quick. I'm Liam, you got one too? or do I call you leather babe? Jedi_Master_Sage : I did not realise, I actually thought he refused your advances AshaleeWulf : names Ashalee but most people tend to shorten it to some variation or another Talera : um...my advances? Liam : I'll stick with Ash, Lee sounds too much like Li, which I'm decided about as to whether if I like it or not AshaleeWulf : nice ta meet ya Liam Jedi_Master_Sage : I thought you expressed interest in him and he refused? Talera who told you that? " any advances that were made were mutual and totally private. She knew Sage could only go off of rumor or conjecture. Liam smiles as their drinks arrive "likewise Ash, what brings you here to Theed?"

AshaleeWulf : I lived her for a while then some things happened and I've only just sorta arrived back and have been trying to readjust Jedi_Master_Sage : You told me you had feelings for him ever since he held a stone boob in his hand and was not sure what to do with it. I don't recall you saying it became more Liam You on the run?" he asks quietly AshaleeWulf >.x chokes on mango liqourice after that post of Sage's)) AshaleeWulf : not last time I checked ::Ash answered just as quietly:: t Since he saw Bern's boobs, sage has had boob on the mind) Talera frowns slightly at that." so you assumed because I didnt tell you differently , that Zio rebuffed me?" she chuckles softly. AshaleeWulf : don't tell me fish breath got to first base?)) Jedi_Master_Sage : no, Bern's boob-tube kinda shifted in a landing >.<]] t no, actually, her tube top slipped and he said... and i quote 'nice skin') t : nice skin... i mean come on why didn't you say "wow thats one fine nauk" it would have meant the same) Jedi_Master_Sage : Statistically, he would have. He was from the Coruscant school of training Talera laughs at that." oh Sage,...anyway...why are you so curious about me suddenly? I mean we rarely ever speak. Do you intend to answer my questions now?" Liam : Things always happen here, I've given up trying to avoid it, at least it rarely gets boring here. care to share what happened with you? Jedi_Master_Sage : Of course. Talera : Who is she? Jedi_Master_Sage : You'll need to rephrase the question. Are you asking the name of my late wife or of those I have rebuffed? AshaleeWulf : technically I can't remember that much I was one person when I left here and someone

completely different when I returned Talera ha ha sage. Who is the woman you are considering? The one that makes you ponder all of these questions." she was not stupid and Sage had only had one other conversation like this with her. She had a pretty good hunch. Liam : You seem to know your way around here well enough AshaleeWulf : I remember my way around well enough Jedi_Master_Sage : After this conversation, I'm not sure I should be considering anyone at all. Talera chuckles softly." Sage...do you realize its fear thats holding you back?" Liam sips his own drink "So which are you? assassin or biker?" Jedi_Master_Sage : Fear of what Talera? Being hurt and following the path of people like Jancin? Is that truely fear or simple responsibility and acceptance of the truth of the force? AshaleeWulf : honestly I have no freckin clue? Liam : Memory loss can really suck. I heard about a jedi who lost his memory and fell in love as a result Talera : its fear. Plain and simple. Sage you cannot fall unless you allow it. That goes for darkness as well. Experiencing pain and love helps us to grow in the force as well. It has helped me become more dedicated to my path more determined to stay that AshaleeWulf : William Harmony yes? Talera : path. Any path you choose is hard. Liam : Think so, in his case, memory loss ruled. I wish I'd wake up and find that sort of surprise in bed with me t was moving through the gardens, silent... lost deeply in thought. There was a lot of things plauging his mind right now and he wasn't sure what to do about them. He was taking time off, soon, for his family.. for himself.. for his sanity that had been > AshaleeWulf kicked Liam's shin beneath the table Liam : ow! hey, what was that for? 8hsw has joined the conversation. AshaleeWulf : becareful buster or you'll be waking up with a dagger pointed above your heart

Jedi_Master_Sage : I've faced so many dangers, I've come close to being one, must we tread so close to the darkside to be stronger against it? Is there no mid ground, a balance? t sliced down to a very thin thread after all that had happened on Isle. He rubbed his right wrist with his left hand, there was a scar there, that had come from before the Jedi had healed him.. from being partially mended many times then... he drew his > AshaleeWulf : is it just me or does it sound like Sage is talking in circles?)) Jedi_Master_Sage : he is trying to find answers that offer more than risk]] t mind away from it all.. clenching his jaw a little... and stopped rubbing his wrist.. then pulled his sleeves up over his hands.. He knew he hadn't even dealt with the mental side of things it had all caused properly. If it came too close to brushing on> AshaleeWulf : not gonna happen if he keeps chasing his own tail)) Liam : Been there, done that. Sorry if I touched a nerve, I take it you know that story from another angle then Jedi_Master_Sage : he doesn't have a tail] AshaleeWulf : you could say I'm close friends with the female party Talera : there is a balance in all things. You know this. In the end you must subscribe to your own brand of thinking. I think that you are focusoing only on the what if. What if you get hurt. What if you lose a loved one. What if you fall. I ask you... AshaleeWulf : he has an ass though)) Talera : what if you dont? Jedi_Master_Sage : Thats quite a gamble, on Naboo alone, 49% of marriages end in divorce. The means, all of the tragedies and the like, happen within the other 51%. Jedi_Master_Sage : Even if that is halved, my chances are not in my favour and I suppose.. I'm avoiding that question. Liam : Is it true she went after someone who was stalking him and scalped her with a meat cleaver? AshaleeWulf : :: Ash sipped her juice before looking to Liam again::

AshaleeWulf : no she literally biyatch slapped the princess who was stalking him AshaleeWulf : in the throne room no less t those thoughts, he found a way to turn his mind from them quickly, but he couldn't keep doing that... one day they would snap out and catch him off guard... he hated Veddy questioning him on it, he hadn't been prepared to explain.. not fully.. "focus"> t he whispered to himself, needing to centralize his mind, to settle it onto the good things around.. positives... sure, it sucked, and it haunted him.. and he had ignored the fact that it had happened since he got back... but still... he had to find the > Talera : I guess you at some point have to decide if its worth it. If she is. You will face pain, and loss and you will either grow from it or you will let it consume you. But I will say this. If you live your life in fear of falling to the darkside. You Liam laughed softly "cool! I guess that proves the theory that biker-girls and assassins always beat princesses" AshaleeWulf : technically that wasn't me Liam : well I'm guessing the friend of yours wasn't at all like a princess AshaleeWulf : no she was just a very pissed off maje 8hsw has left the conversation. Talera : will eventually have to face that fear. It will come looking for you. Wether you have loved or not. All you can do is prepare yourself as best you can and face it when you meet it. But I prescribe to the notion that should not prevent us as jedi Talera : living and loving. We just need to be mindfull . Liam suppresses a shudder as he hears that word but is unsure why, he guesses it must be a chill from the drink "that works. Did they work out in the end?" AshaleeWulf : no idea t good in all this... where ever it may appear. Just right now it was difficult... the one thing, that lifts him up when darkness began to succumb him... there was tension there, these bastards had hurt more that way... than all the torture in all time > AshaleeWulf : everything ok Liam?

Liam : Oh yeah I'm fine, must be a cold breeze that got down my shirt AshaleeWulf : really? it seemed to happen more around the time I said the word Maje Liam narrows his eyes "I'm quite sure if it is, that it doesn't work more than once, anyway maje aren't scary, they heal people, or they did before their world was immolated" t put together. He paused, upon nearing the prax... wondering on yet another tangent in his strange life.. wondering on that too.. he had already broken the rules a few times now, and was a rule breaker by default that he had the force... maybe, even just> AshaleeWulf : immolated? Liam : ruined.. trashed.. lots of firepower t a little more understanding into their ways, may teach him how to at least be able to draw and find peace somewhere in this struggle, even if it did not involve extending his use of the force... AshaleeWulf : :: Ash's eyes narrowed slightly behind her glasses:: by whom? Jedi_Master_Sage sighs "emotions can be controlled, so can hormones, with the force, one can achieve many things. Yet the pitful of love.. is entirely something else" Jedi_Master_Sage : Her name is .. well her preferred name is Bernie. Liam : No one knows, I think it just got in the way while two fleets were fighting, sorry, I was insensitive t is half tempted one day to walk into the prax... say I want help and watch as they point me to sage) AshaleeWulf : there are no other Majes left? AshaleeWulf : hehe he who can't even help himself get some)) t : aye, true) Liam : I'm sure some might have made it off the planet surface, others would have been away before hand. If I knew, I'd help you find which dumb fierfek of an admiral decided he couldn't care about a non-hostile world in the middle of a firefight

Talera : pitful? you think the Jedi that had accepted love have succumbed to a failing? A pitfall? Jedi_Master_Sage : I meant a pitfall Talera : my question remians... Jedi_Master_Sage : No, I think a jedi who does accept love, walks into a field with many traps involved. AshaleeWulf : the fierfek had better be a fast runner if I ever do find him :: Ash grumbled slightly irritated by this news:: Talera : and I think that field is no different that the fields we walk everyday. Love has its benefits though. So many in fact. I dont think you see these with your focus being on the fear of pain. Liam says softly "I take it you're a maje then, is the other girl your sister? the one who slapped the princess" Jedi_Master_Sage : Yes, you can become so intertwined with another, that you don't know where she begins and you end.. only to find her ripped away because the sith decide your DNA might be useful for making warriors who are borne of that assassin, who dies when your > Jedi_Master_Sage : daughter kills her, only to be killed by her husband... AshaleeWulf : no she was me Liam : You said she wasn't technically you... oh, I get it, the memory thing... let me guess, you're here to see if the jedi waited for you? t started slowly into the prax gardens, his hands nestled deep in his pockets as his small, slightly stocky self came to a stop just before the building, he wasn't going to head in, or so he didn't think.. he only knew a few that worked in there, and > AshaleeWulf : haven't seen him lately and I still don't completely remember everything Talera : Sage...we should learn from the past to be sure. But you are letting it control you. You are letting it prevent you from experiencing the good things that are given to us from the force. And yes I believe love comes from the force. I feel deeply for t it still posed as a symbol of... not... fear anymore, maybe he was beginning to see it in a wary light as salvation... for the jedi had saved his life now so many

times, and Talera and Sage and Elianne were jedi, they were his friends... and they had > Talera : your loss. Epsilons death was a horrible thing. But you cannot control or predict the future. Jedi_Master_Sage : Oh my... Kill me now. I think I realise my problem. I have issues. I'm sounding like someone on a holo talk show AshaleeWulf : I think Sage was just hit with the proverbial frying pan)) t never turned their back on him.. as so many previously had. sometimes he felt guilty for placing so much of his troubles and they had pulled him out so much crap, as had his friend Justin.. and well.. Dinay went without saying.. it wasn't hard to know > Jedi_Master_Sage : Damnit, I'm a jedi, we're supposed to see the future, yet none of us see the worst come Talera : you sound like someone you has suffered pain and loss and dont want to go through it again. But even swearing off love wont stop it from happening. Yes you can control your reaction, you can control how it effects you. But honestly it doenst stop it. Talera : if the force wills it...it happens. t how he felt about her.. but that was straying his mind off of this... Had the closed mindedness that he had been brought up in... be holding him back.. from at least finding peace within himself, especially in situations when the night seemed darkest. > Jedi_Master_Sage : Its not pain I fear Talera, is what happens when pain comes. I nearly became a sith in my quest to make sense of T'Penn's death and why I couldn't bring myself to join her. I'm not concerned with being hurt, I'm more worried about what I've seen happen t Jedi_Master_Sage : to others Jedi_Master_Sage : the only working marriages I've seen were with Valiant and Cellese who hardly see each other and Elianne and Halik. Liam : I hope it all works out for you, but don't you think he'll have a hard time seeing you if you're all blending with shadows? t He had never truly stopped to look at the building, to

see the beauty it was. It seemed to just exume.. calmness, and he closed his eyes, trying to soak it up... to let it ease him.. and his forever spinning head. Talera nods at that." and those are wise worries. I would be concerned if you didnt have those worries. and your speaking of just Jedi versus Jedi marriages?" 8JordlVhiro has joined the conversation. 8JordlVhiro is away. AshaleeWulf : not last time I checked and I don't always blend I'm just having trouble with my eyes and light at the moment Jedi_Master_Sage : Of any jedi at all. Darien married Lianna, he fell for a time. Raelous lost Shatara the day of their wedding and we all know how he turned out after that, all of Lianna's lovers had brushes with the darkside except Valiant, although he probably did and j Jedi_Master_Sage : just denied it. Jedi_Master_Sage : Epsilon even went back when Jancin died and you were hardly a picture of strength when you lost Zio. Liam : That I can relate to, you can get surgery for it, unless its natural for you? Talera : the point is Sage how many have returned? Have come full circle and been the better for it? Loss is part of life. And just because I wasnt stoic and unaffected doesnt mean that I was dark. But that aside....I truly believe some have to come to the AshaleeWulf : it wasn't and I'd rather not I'll manage I just need to adjust Talera : brink or even fall before they can come back better and stronger. Though thats not to say I endorse that path or that notion. Jedi_Master_Sage : Less than half, thats how many. 8Kym has joined the conversation. 8Kym is away. Jedi_Master_Sage : And for those who do, does it justify the lives they destroy in the process? Kym kisses for all )) Talera : life is long Sage. You cant know if that number will improve .

Jedi_Master_Sage : Does it justify the lives who I nearly destroyed had I not stepped away? AshaleeWulf : laters all)) Liam : laters] Talera : I am not justifying anything. I am simply saying we all have our own paths to follow. But you did step away. That I believe is the answer to all of your questions. You did step away. As have I. 8AshaleeWulf has left the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : I came so close and I'm not sure even that I can ever redeem what I did to the sith who drew me in to the sanctum of Malachor Jedi_Master_Sage : ..But thats not the point. How do you do it? t Opened his eyes, studying the building a bit longer, it had helped ease his head some, it was not as noisy as it usually was, he had only ever found this kind of peace one other place, and there, he could not go yet... and despite the fact he knew they > Jedi_Master_Sage : How do you brave what may happen? Do you just hope that the gamble will pay off? Does it ever get easier? t still loved each other... or at least he thought she still loved him.. the wound that had been forged ran deep... and it would take time to heal... but until then, he could not live in this closed off state, with memories that tore at him and angered him> Talera I remain as close to the force as I can. I consult it in all decisions and if I feel myself losing control. I stop and let it guide me. " she smiles softly." the love I feel from my children and Justin. And Zio and others I have loved...was worth the Talera : gamble the moment I allowed myself to feel it. The rest is gravey. As for getting easier. I have new challenges everyday but honestly the balance between the love I have for my family and my path....it has gotten easier to maintain the more I learn. Talera : and I try to learn everyday. t to a point he feared losing himself in the darkest depths of his temper. He stepped towards the praxeum, his boots creaking slightly on the steps... could he find a

balance between his faith, and still somewhat keep to its teachings, but also allow > t himself some freedom... to be.. himself, if not in public, at least... in the privacy of his own life, of his friends and family, not having to fear what they would think if they knew... he had this... what had Talera called it.... Gift? Jedi_Master_Sage : The balance.. it lies within the learnings that precede the challenges.. Talera : the learnings come from the challenges. JordlVhiro was sitting next to her garden within the prax garden, she was meditating. All thought and movement held as she allows the energies of the force to sweep her away,the warm peacefulness relaxing and gentle. Jedi_Master_Sage : Much like the path of the jedi itself. Talera : nods slightly." I dont believe i would be who I am today without those challenges. That includes all the pain and all the loss and all the times I thought I might fall. But in the end here I sit . Secure in the knowledge that I didnt fall. It didnt t he moved not a step further forward... torn between heading inside, this time it was more than just a visit to talera... for advice on some matters... well.. it was, in a way... but to him, to arrive at even fully allowing himself to suggest this.. > Talera break me. And I am better for having allowed love into my life. And my family is better for me loving them" Jedi_Master_Sage : My family... t compromise allowing himself to take that step further... at being more open minded... it wasn't the force he feared... it was himself. 8-Taki_Takahashi- has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : taki] -Taki_Takahashi- : Sage) 8-Taki_Takahashi- is away. Talera tilts her head and looks at him carefully..." your family?.." she urges gently. Jedi_Master_Sage : Oh, it doesn't matter, thats getting too far ahead of myself.

Talera : please Id like to know what you were thinking.... Jedi_Master_Sage : Well, if things do work with us, introducing Bernie to my parents would be either interesting or disastrous. I don't know how they'd feel about me being with someone of her background, which is very tame by some standards. But while my parents are more > Jedi_Master_Sage : liberal minded than those of some provinces, even they have limits of what they see as acceptable 8-Taki_Takahashi- has left the conversation. Talera blinks a moment. there was the name. Why was it familiar? She couldnt place it. Think!" Her background?" JordlVhiro All the fear, any anger or negative emotion seemed to flow away, leaving in its wakes this serene feeling of being connected to something higher. A peace loving feeling tingling from deep inside, to tingle along her nerve endings. Deeping meditation. Jedi_Master_Sage : It involves magazines, not the core of her career, but enough to draw disapproval from people of Gaia, unless you venture into the wildlands Talera : oh my... Talera she smiles." sage she may be just what you need." she ribbed him gently. Imagine Sage with a wild woman. Jedi_Master_Sage : In the wildlands, she'd be mocked for being so inhibited and her lack of adventure Talera laughs softly" your kidding..." t slipped into the entrance hall of the prax finally, as if finally making a decision, he did not want these memories to rule him, and he was not going to take the easy way out and ask someone to remove them from him... he had to face this himself, as > Jedi_Master_Sage : No, in the wildlands, are Gaians who believe that blood fire is not something to be controlled, but to be let loose. They do not experience it every ten years with small sparks in between, they live it like a bonfire every night. Marriage is meaningless Jedi_Master_Sage : to them t difficult as it would be... he had to learn how to do more than shove these things aside. He slipped past the

desk... telling them that he was looking for someone, which in a way was true, and he would know where to find them... if they would allow him> Talera : oh my,,,how carnal. Is there no jealousy? 8Liam has left the conversation. 8Jay_Ley_Shallag has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : Only if you don't share Talera laughs softly" oh wow I never knew your heritage was so....impassioned." t to venture forth... and for the sake of argument, and the fact... Dee would vouch for him... he they let him through... his booted feet echoing as they hit the solid prax floor. For a change he was taking his time, not sure where he was going, or if he > Kym rlls over on bed, wrapping the sheets around her further Kym : Jay Jay )) Jedi_Master_Sage : jay] Jay_Ley_Shallag : key ) Jay_Ley_Shallag : kym )) Jay_Ley_Shallag : sage) t would even find anyone here to talk to, but the calm alone in here was enough to at least make it easier for him to centre himself... Jedi_Master_Sage : Not mine, I am within the imperial domain which is the greater portion of civil Gaia. But every ten years of our adult lives.. yes, passionate it is. Unless you're a jedi and use the force to control it. 8Jay_Ley_Shallag is away. 8JordlVhiro has left the conversation. t runs into tallys office, sits on the desk in some paddy robes then tears them off to show he would never abandon his black leather pants and black shirt... ) Jedi_Master_Sage jedi boto? thats just wrong]] Talera : How interesting...So every ten years your hot to trot? What year are you right now? Talera : lol) t : no sith sherlock, aint ever gunna happen) t brb, then i might come bug yas )

Jedi_Master_Sage : No, I carefully balance my neurochemistry so I don't die from an imbalance and i'm 117, my last spark was a month ago. Jay_Ley_Shallag : half opens an eye ..grabbing the sheet and try to yank some of it back Talera : I see... Kym roles back over so he can have some sheets "are you awake?" Jedi_Master_Sage : Sparks are easy to suppress, a human with a strong will could do so t : back, so can i bug huh huh huh?) Jay_Ley_Shallag sleepily.."mayby, I am not sure" Jedi_Master_Sage : IF YOU BLOODY MUST] Jedi_Master_Sage snickers] Kym blinks)) Talera : sparks are what you have every ten years? t fine i wont then) Kym slipos an arm around him "i'm sorry" 8nglza has joined the conversation. Jay_Ley_Shallag ..kisses her .."for what" Jay_Ley_Shallag : angeleeza)) Kym angel )) Kym : for the way i've been lately nglza in the Prax the little girl wings and all walks though the corradors to knock on who she thinks is elainne's room but its Talera room Jedi_Master_Sage : No, "sparks" is a term given to a small burst of hormonal drive. Bloodfire is what happense every ten years and its like being so horny, you feel like your blood is on fire, its the mating frenzy t continued up the halls, passing tallys office on the way, but he was moving slower through the halls, his eyes closed... as if just soaking up the feeling this place had to offer... he needed to know how to reach this... calm, without this building, and > Jedi_Master_Sage : leeza] nglza : Hi boto Talera : and you get this? Jedi_Master_Sage : "sparks" happen a few times a year,

more often with some than others Jay_Ley_Shallag raises an eyebrow .."you've had your reasons" Talera : you get this blood fire? Jedi_Master_Sage : Yes but I've been able to quell it. Its all hormones in the end, its like playing an instrument while someone is shaking it. Jedi_Master_Sage nods "every ten years since I was 20. I have only succumbed to it once, when I was married, that can't be avoided" t when Dinay wasn't around.. he couldn't be the man she deserved if he let the torture he had been through eat him up... sap who he was. He was so lost in this... he didn't even know he had paused outside tallys office, nor did he hear any voices... Kym nods "i know but i'm better now" Talera laughs softly at that. " nice analogy. So when I asked before about what year you were in. I was asking about blood fire. " nglza : Boto... are you ok Jedi_Master_Sage : My next cycle is three years away, provided I don't have an early cycle. Jay_Ley_Shallag ..smiles.."does that mean, I don't get to brush your hair anymore" Talera well my only caution to you is not to make and life altering decisions when that time comes. " Jedi_Master_Sage : I doubt I'd ever allow a cycle to follow through, I've become too used to it by now. 8nglza is away. 8rth_Thor has joined the conversation. 8rth_Thor is away. Kym looks upo a little "you can brush myt hair if you want to" nglza : hi thorn)) Jay_Ley_Shallag grins.."you seemed to enjoy it" Jedi_Master_Sage : wb] Jedi_Master_Sage : Besides, there is no passion, there is serenity rth_Thor (Angeleeza, thanks Sage)

t here, in this state, he could deal with the memories of his torture, he may still need some help, but.. if he could reach this state.. be in a place where he didn't fear what would happen if he thought about it, he could talk it out, clearly empty the > t heavy pain it pressed against his soul... here, in a place where his rage towards all the interconnected events that had led and stemmed from the pain he had suffered, not only physically, but mentally... would not tip him to that ire where he would > Kym snuggles up real close "it was soothiong" rth_Thor : Walks down the tomb's hall and looks around slowly, she slides off her hood and lets her long brown hair hang down and cover her shoulders. t blockade himself fully... withdraw from those he cared about... out of fear rth_Thor (Darn enter button) nglza : she puts her hand on to boto to try and get him to hear her." boto what is wrong why wont you see me. am I invisible." Jay_Ley_Shallag : chuckling "it was good fun, although I think to go to hairdresser school first" rth_Thor Walks down the tomb's hall and looks around slowly, she slides off her hood and lets her long brown hair hang down and cover her shoulders. She looks around the main area slowly and wonders slightly. Kym smiles a little then sits up an dlooks at him "alex kissed me" Jay_Ley_Shallag ...with out any jealousy.."did you kiss him back?" Kym shakes her head "of course not!" Jay_Ley_Shallag smiles.."I Love you and trust you, so I know you would be try to your heart and I think I know where it lays" Kym nods "i love you" points at his chest "noone else" t startled slightly at the hand on him.. and turned to look at Leeza... sighing softly, she had broken that peace he had been sapped up in, and he bit his lower lip a moment, trying not to let his annoyance to that show... it

was so hard for him to find > t peace.. when it was infact broken, it disapointed him "yeer ain't invisable... I were jus'... eh, dinnae matter" nglza : boto. You friend of leeza. much trouble in heart. need talk to me find peace. matters i think it does please let leeza help Jedi_Master_Sage : Besides, there is no passion, there is serenity [repost] t nae..." he said simply.. there was no way in hell he was letting a child know that which burdened him "ain't fer yeer ears" Talera : ty sorry) Talera : yes thats very true... Jedi_Master_Sage : np] Jay_Ley_Shallag looking at her face.."you are looking much better, hardly a mark left" Talera : Have I been any help to you at all Sage? nglza : leeza knows death leeza was weeks with her dead family before jedi found her. leeza knows war father. Leeza see many things so eyes heart and soul wish to help boto Jedi_Master_Sage : Yes you have, thank you so much Talera. I have more to think about. I am still unsure of some things, but I'm closer now than before t "leeza... nae..." he said, unable to hide the slight annoyance in his tone "tis sumting i need tae speak tae an adult bout" he didn't mean to snap at the girl, but he had been in such a clearer place, where he could try and sort this out, and she had > Talera nods slightly" I am so pleased that I can help you in some small way. And I amd rooting for you to give it a try. Someone needs to be loved by you. " Jedi_Master_Sage : I seriously doubt that, but I appreciate the sentiment. Kym smiles "i'm glad, the bar staff kept giving me funny looks" t broken that.. it was... dissapointing to say the least... and he glanced around himself... seeing where he was, his blue eyes settling onto Tallys office door... "scuse me"

he said to the girl, and moved away from her, going to knock on the door.. open > t or not Talera looks up hearing the knock. She raises an eyebrow as she wasnt expecting anyone. " I wonder who that is. Come in?" Jay_Ley_Shallag : just be gald they didn't offer any funny drinks..they have experimenting..some tasted interesting to saly the most nglza : i knock earler noone answer Jedi_Master_Sage looks to the door t Leeza... sorry.. juz' lemme alone please... " he let himself into Talera's office, looking slightly annoyed, and being the bastard he was when annoyed, he closed the door before the girl could enter.. he did not want a child around to hear anything he> t may speak about Kym : diferent spicies prefer differnt combinations t : jus') Jedi_Master_Sage : Boto, we were talking about a friend of yours. Talera : Paul? hello..come in. Have you met Master Sage? oh I see you have. Have a seat Paul. nglza knocks on the door again Jay_Ley_Shallag : yeah..that the gameroan grog mix is strong enough to knock out a cow nglza she is so worried about her friend. Jedi_Master_Sage : Paul? 8rth_Thor has left the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage goes to the door and peeks out "Yes?" nglza : boto very sad need friend. may I enter please. t "tell tha' bloody kid tae knick off..shes sweet an' all.. bu' nae righ' now... " he looked to Sage.. hoping the man would kinda understand he was here for a reason, kinda... "hey tally... sage... " he settle back into a seat with a sigh Talera looks at paul. She frowns slightly." who is out there?" She asks Paul. Jedi_Master_Sage : I'm not sure he's in the mood right now

t : Leeza... Jedi_Master_Sage : MEH!!!!!!] Jedi_Master_Sage MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH!!!!] nglza : he has big worry sad heart . he needs friends now. he is my friend. friends stick by and stay even when things bad Jedi_Master_Sage : You are a... SHADOW JEDI - Neither light nor dark, you control your own life and you do what you want to]] t : lmfao) Jedi_Master_Sage : http://quizilla.com/users/Shinoku/quizzes/What%20Type %20of%20Jedi%20Are%20You%3F/ I got that above result ]] Talera : LMFAO!!) 8Mood has joined the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage stoopid fricken quiz]] 8Mood is away. t Leeza! jus' go... I'll talk tae ye later..." he paused for a moment, wishing to find that peace back... but losing it had really pissed him off Jay_Ley_Shallag looking down at kym snugled into the crook of his elbow.."so ready now to start thinking about getting married" t : Mooda) Jedi_Master_Sage : hmm.. Leeza, friends also give friends space when they wish it. Talk to him when he is ready, ok? Talera : You are a Light Jedi!))) ) nglza : I am a light jedi ) Jedi_Master_Sage : i got shadow jedi !!!! ARGH] Jedi_Master_Sage : [try to process this.. *I* got shadow] Talera : we get it we get it. even you are flawed. LOL) nglza : Its very apt) t lmfao... ~hands sage an angel~) Mood He meditates, inside the praxeum gardens. He does this so often, that usually one can almost guarantee his presence within the praxeum gardens... sitting atop of an old tree stump. Mood : hey))

8Wraaaul has joined the conversation. Talera : Paul what is the problem? Something is wrong... Mood : Wraaaul ()b))) Mood : give ya a propper beer)) Talera : Hey moodles) Wraaaul : Afternoon all, ) nglza : a burden shared is a burden halved if you me canceller ellaine be there it be quatered Mood : hey talera )) Kym nods "i noticed" Wraaaul : Out interesting happened recently?) Jedi_Master_Sage "be patient Leeza, he'll see you when he's ready, please, don't push this further, when he wants the burden halved, you will know, excuse me" he asks as he closes the door Jay_Ley_Shallag : I only say this as the left few days, you have been in your shell and not really thinking about the wedding t rubbed his hand over his face... ignore the child at the door now, he would let Sage handle it "sorry Tally, I dinnae mean tae come by here like this, tings were catchin me, an' I dinnae, I jus' followed me feet here... felt able tae kinda deal fer a bit> nglza turns around then runs down the hall crying... t till leeza dredged me outta 't suddenly" Kym : i know ..i'm sorry, i'm ready tp start thinking about ti again now! Jay_Ley_Shallag : smiles good..because after marriage ceramony comes the honeymoon t ignoring^) nglza her friend is mad at her and doesnt want her ... it hurt so much she runs out side into the prax garden and flies into a tree crying there. Talera : start at the beginning...What exactly is upsetting you? Kym smiles "i know" Jedi_Master_Sage : Do you want me to go? Mood in the distance he heard the crying of a girl? woman? outside..... his eyes flutter slightly as his mind is

brought from the Force to reality. Projecting his senses out, he feels the presence of another in the gardens. At this time, usually no one is > 8liv has joined the conversation. 8liv is away. Wraaaul : Oliva) Mood >here. He rises, and hops off the tree stump with a small grunt. He lands, and his hand stretches out, grasping his gimer stick. "Hello?" he says calling out to that someone... Mood : Oliva )) t looked between sage and tally "I interupted sumting?" he asked, not answering tallys question yet... he didn't want to just walk in and steal the floor... if they had been discussing something important Kym : oliva )) Talera Im fine with you staying sage..." she turns to Paul." is it alright with you Paul?" Jedi_Master_Sage : We were just finished. 8liv has left the conversation. nglza : cries in the leaves of the tree her small body shaking with sadness... then she hears a voice.. maybe boto ... " boto I sorry I upset you.." Kym : later all)) 8Kym has left the conversation. Jedi_Master_Sage : dark jedi, yeah baby, more like it]] Mood He sees a small girl, no more than 6 or 7 years of age. Over the years of human contact, Mo'oda had just begun to be able to gage the age levels of the human child."Hmmm, boto, I am not." he smiled. At 2' 6" tall, he was dwarfed by many children. t "aye... stay sage.. yeer both knae me.. tis fine.. jus' dinnae wan' a lil lass round.. " he had taken his hands out his pockets and was rubbing at his wrost.. a twitch he got when thinking about everything... t wrist^) Mood humanoid*)) Jedi_Master_Sage : How can we help you?

8Jay_Ley_Shallag has left the conversation. Wraaaul : I gotta bail, will be back later, adios/) Mood : cya fur ball )) 8Wraaaul has left the conversation. Talera sits back down in her chair and crosses her legs as she waits for Paul to begin. She assumes Sage will sit again as well. nglza : looks down at the very small jedi .. " are you a whill " Jedi_Master_Sage sits down Mood he nodded. "Yess. Much you know about different races, I see, hmmmm. Know my people, many children do not..." he steps froward towards her. "Crying, why were you hmmm?" he asked calmly. t looked between the two of them then to his hands "show me, teach me please how tae feel tha' peace.. I fel' out there.. how tae... find 't meself.. so I ken deal wit' these tings in me head, so I ken talk tae Dinay, witout all this eatin me, so I ken > nglza : you wish for me to fly down to you? t help her heal... 'f I dinnae learn, how tae come tae terms... wit' this... tis gunna eat me up.... an' hurt those I love.. I kenna do tha' anymore... " Mood he smiled. He always looked up, so this was somthing he was not unfamiliar with. "If you wish it" he said with a calm peace. He always had a soft spot for children. Often they tested patience and many qualities of a Jedi to an extreme, but also they were> Talera looks at Paul...was he asking to be trained as a Jedi? she was thunderstruck. He was the last person she thought would want that path. However she thought that perhaps he may make a very good one." what exactly are you asking ?" Mood >innocent teachers. And mo'oda had always enjoyed their presence. Mood : O.O Boto... a Jedi? wow..... A minstrel Jedi I think thats cool)) nglza opening her wings she flies up into the air smoothly and then slowly glides down to land almost

silently beside mooda t think again short stuff... i am NOT beoming a jedi) Mood one could hope...)) Mood he watched her fly down. "Now. Disturbs you, what does, hmmm?" he asked quietly. Both hands rested on his gimer stick. "Mention Boto's name, you did..." he prodded. He vaugly knew Boto... the troubled man down by the dock..... now it was comming back to > Mood >him. A curious fellow. Jedi_Master_Sage "Talera, I might let you handle this, thank you once again. I hope all goes well Boto" he stands and leaves the office