Handbook for Working With Children and Youth

Gendered Adaptations, Resilience, and the Perpetration of Violence

Developmental psychopathologists seek to identify processes that lead to adaptive and maladaptive outcomes among high-risk groups, with the goal of contributing to interventions that can promote resilience and decrease risks (Luthar, 2003; Luthar & Cicchetti, 2000). Researchers, however, have given little attention to understanding the points of view of people who respond to their adverse life circumstances in ways that outsiders would define as maladaptive (Ungar, 2004). Soliciting the points of view of research participants helps us to understand the gendered, social, and cultural contexts to which individuals adapt. These concerns are important to human service professions that build on the premise of starting where the clients are. This chapter is based on research with adolescents and adults, both women and men, who have experienced adversities and whose behaviors led them to involvement with the law, primarily for violent acts, which are, from almost any point of view, a maladapted outcome. In the study we discuss here, we developed a conceptual model that we applied to our analysis of two cases: an adolescent young man who was abusive to his girlfriend who was also the mother of his baby and an adult woman who engaged in sexual activities with an adolescent young woman. Our perspectives were constructivist and interpretive (Benner, 1994; Patton, 2002) in that we wanted to represent the points of view of the persons we interviewed. In our analysis, we show that the young man and adult woman view their illegal behaviors as logical and effective ways to enhance their own well-being and sometimes the well-being of loved ones, although usually they are aware that their behaviors contravene social norms and their own moral values. We contend that these views are fairly typical of people whom social and legal institutions consider deviant and even criminal. The elements of our conceptual model are human agency, resilience, schema theory, gendered adaptation, feminist and masculinity theory, and gendered interpretations of female and male violence. We view these elements as interconnected and forming a viable theory of violence as gendered adaptations.

Our method is deductive qualitative analysis (Gilgun, in press a, in press b), which by definition begins with a conceptual model that researchers can put to many different uses, such as hypothesis testing, pattern matching, or as a guide to exploring poorly understood topics. Deductive qualitative analysis (DQA) is different from many other ways of doing qualitative research in that the procedures call for developing a conceptual model before entering the field. Many forms of qualitative research, taking the lead from the work of Straus and his colleagues (Charmaz, 2000; Clarke, 2003; Glaser, 1978; Glaser & Strauss, 1967; Strauss & Corbin, 1998), guide researchers toward research that begins in an open-ended, atheoretical way. DQA builds on the traditions of analytic induction (Cressey, 1953; Gilgun, in press, b; Znaniecki, 1934), a form of qualitative research that originated in the Chicago School of Sociology in the early part of the 20th century. Analytic induction begins with a loose conceptual framework but claims to be inductive, which is actually a contradiction in terms, although many of the ideas on which analytic induction is based are important to DQA as well (see Gilgun, in press b, for an extended discussion of DQA compared with other forms of qualitative research).

A WORKING DEFINITION OF VIOLENCE

For the purposes of this chapter, we contrast interpersonal violence with healthy interpersonal relationships. Mutuality, reciprocity, and the promotion of the best interests of others are widely recognized qualities characteristic of healthy relationships (Seifert, Hoffnung, & Hoffnung, 2000). Violence, on the other hand, not only bypasses mutuality and reciprocity and undermines the best interests of others, but it includes behaviors that hurt others psychologically and emotionally and often physically as well. Individuals involved in mutual and reciprocal relationships contribute to the well-being and quality of life for others. They respect others' autonomy and freedom of choice. They provide comfort in times of stress, and they sometimes consciously give up something they want to promote the well-being of others and to nurture the continuation of the relationship. If they inadvertently hurt others, they apologize, seek forgiveness, and make efforts to repair the relationship and to change their own behaviors so as not to harm again. Such behaviors are mirror images of our concept of violence. They appear, on the surface at least, to mimic behavior we might associate with resilience. Relationships are, of course, fraught with possibilities of hurting others, whether intentionally or not. Our definition of violence assumes differential power, which can stem from attributes such as gender, physical strength, social status, experience, age, and maturation. Ideologies, such as who is entitled to what and who has rights to do what, grow from and structure these attributes. We believe that individuals who choose to take advantage of the power they have over others have a limitless number of cultural themes and practices that they use to guide and justify their behaviors but that they transform these in individualized, idiosyncratic ways (Gilgun & McLeod, 1999). In this chapter, we look primarily at age and gender to understand how these individuals engage in processes associated with the use of interpersonal violence as an awkward but effective means of experiencing health-related phenomena. In mutual, reciprocal relationships between generational equals, there is ongoing negotiation of issues such as understanding what the other person wants, how to reconcile differing wants and desires, and how to decide what actually does promote the well-being of the other (Gottman, 2001).

However, this is not the case in cross-generational interaction. We view older people as having particular responsibilities for recognizing and respecting generational differences, even if it means putting aside one's own powerful desires. Nor is it the case for relationships in which there are differences in power between men and women or where violence is expressed in gender-typical ways. We view males as more likely to commit overtly aggressive acts, whether physical, verbal, or psychologicalalthough there are exceptions, as in child sexual abuse and incest where some perpetrators insist that they act out of love and caring (Gilgun, 1995) and for women, with some exceptions, to be more subtle and indirect in how they undermine the well-being of others (Crick, Grotpeter, & Bigbee, 2002). Even more confusing, perpetrators can experience emotional and sexual gratification from violence, often associated with a sense of power and control over others. Given these patterns, we propose that current understandings and definitions of violence are genderedthat is, biased toward more typically male styles of violence that connote and denote physical and verbal aggression. Finally, we believe there can be major differences between how outsiders interpret behaviors and how the people concerned interpret their own behaviors. Professionals may have great difficulty shifting perspectives so that they can connect to and understand the points of view of clients. For example, the research and theory on which we have drawn for our analysis is based on perspectives of outsidersthat is, the points of view of researchers and rarely those of the researched. Insiders' views on the meaning of their behaviors, including those that outsiders view as maladaptive, will contribute to the effectiveness of interventions that professionals craft in their efforts to enhance resilience processes and decrease the effects of risks. A number of chapters in this work, for example, achieve just such a link between understanding tied to research and better-informed interventions. Finally, contemporary thought on human agency emphasizes the idea of choice, but the range of options is restricted by the time in which people live, the settings in which they develop, and the people and ideologies to which they are exposed (Giddens, 1987). Social locations provide contexts and interpretive filters through which individuals make decisions about how to respond to challenging life circumstances (Abrams, 2003).

RESILIENCE
Resilience represents capacities for coping with, adapting to, and overcoming adversities as well as competence in developmental tasks (Masten & Coatsworth, 1998). Resilience is widely recognized as a manifestation of positive outcomes after exposure to adversity (Luthar & Cicchetti, 2000, p. 857). People in high-risk situations and who exhibit prosocial, adaptive outcomes are said to have had the capacities to marshal sufficient resources to help them deal effectively with risks. When people do not have capacities to marshal resources in high-risk situations, then maladaptive behaviors occur, including violent acts. A person may be competent, prosocial, and well adapted in one domain, such as work, but have maladapted outcomes in other domains, such as interpersonal relationships and emotion regulation (Gilgun, 1996a, 1996b, 1999,2002a). Although resilience is associated with prosocial adaptations to adversities, some researchers have pointed out that definitions of competence and resilience may vary across gender, age, socioeconomic status, and ethnicity (Abrams, 2002; Burton, Allison, & Obeidallah, 1995; Ungar, 2004). For example, children who live in dangerous

neighborhoods may develop adaptive coping strategies that are maladaptive in more secure settings (Garcia Coll et al., 1996), whereas people who come from backgrounds of privilege and physical security may develop a sense of entitlement that is maladaptive in other settings (Gilgun, 1996b; Gilgun & McLeod, 1999). Many young people and their parents in resource-poor environments may aspire to a revised American dream in their definitions of successful outcomes (Burton etal., 1995). Moreover, resilience can have a gendered component; that is, resilience processes and outcomes may be different for women and men in gendered societies.

ADAPTATION
Adaptation can be broadly defined as responses to the demands of the environment (Ashford, LeCroy, & Lortie, 2001; Siegelman & Rider, 2003). The meaning of the term encompasses the mutuality and reciprocity of interactions between people (and other organisms) and their environments (Germaine & Gitterman, 1996). Environments shape human growth and development, and human beings shape their own environments. As Germaine and Gitterman (1996) point out, all organisms require resources from their environments to survive and develop. How individuals do this depends on the resources available to them, their capacities to respond to these resources, and the goals they value. Adaptation is a key concept in Piaget's theory of cognitive development. Piaget's theory is constructivist in that it is based on the idea that human beings actively construct their knowledge of themselves, others, and the world. Adaptations are mediated through schemas that people construct based on their interactions with environments (Berk, 2003). Schemas can be thought of as mental representations or internalized working models that help people make sense of their experiences through assimilation and accommodation. In assimilation, individuals fit new experiences into existing schemas, and in accommodation, they modify and transform their schemas to incorporate new information. Contemporary cognitive scientists generally have come to the conclusion that the activation of mental representations and their associated behaviors and motivations are almost entirely nonconscious. Most thoughts, emotions, moods, and behaviors occur automatically in response to a person's perceptions of environmental cues and are outside of conscious awareness (Bargh & Chartrand, 1999). These automatic mechanisms bypass conscious choice and appraisal. The cues that activate these mental representations are analogous to buttons being pushed. According to Bargh and Chartrand (1999), In whatever way the start button is pushed, the mechanism subsequently behaves in the same way (p. 476).

GENDERED ADAPTATIONS
This chapter is about gendered adaptations to adverse circumstances. To say that human adaptation is a gendered process means that how individuals construct themselves, choose to act, and develop their operant worldview is influenced to varying extents by gendered schemas derived from larger social norms and expectations, stereotypes, and power relationships. This focus on gender is not intended to diminish other significant forces that shape cognitive scripts and adaptation processes, such as ethnicity and culture, class, family background, or personal experiences. Rather, with the understanding that the very meaning of violence is underscored by gendered assumptions (e.g.,

violence toward others is generally viewed as a male attribute, whereas violence toward the self is typically seen as a female attribute), we believe in the importance of analyzing perpetrators' adaptations to adverse circumstances through the lens of their gendered beliefs, roles, and strategies. The concept of gendered adaptations draws on theories found in feminist psychology, masculinities studies, and related genres of literature. Feminist psychology, for example, illustrates how dominant societal constructs of femininity and expectations related to gender roles shape women's social and psychological adaptation strategies. Feminist psychologists Brown and GiUigan (1992) argue that women are socialized into a more relational stance than their male counterparts. This means that women are more attuned to the intricate world of human relations and that self-esteem is gained primarily by virtue of connections with others. GiUigan (1982) stated that, gradually, women learn not only to define themselves in the context of human relationships but also judge themselves in terms of their ability to care (p. 17). This care orientation continues throughout the life cycle and becomes more solidified when a woman takes on mothering roles. According to GiUigan (1982), this emphasis on relation and care eventually becomes problematic because Western, white, Anglo-Saxon culture does not typically value or reward these traditionally female qualities. Moreover, women's socialization toward relationships as a primary gauge of selfworth sets the stage for a variety of internal conflicts for adolescent and adult women, including issues of self-doubt, authenticity, and autonomy. Building on feminist psychology, we assume that women tend to manage processes of assimilation and accommodation of internalized messages about their gender roles and their tendencies to privilege narratives of care and relation above and beyond those of autonomy or achievement. These are not merely individual scripts, but rather, they are derived from positions and discourses of masculinity and femininity that circulate through larger social arenas and institutions. Responding to adverse circumstances, women, particularly those socialized in dominant culture norms, tend to harm themselves rather than perpetrate violence or harm toward others. Turning anger or rage inward, against the self, is a traditionally gendered adaptation strategy for women.
1

A woman facing adverse

economic or emotional circumstances might also draw on traditionally gendered survival skills such as selling one's body, becoming dependent, or seeking care and protection from others. The decision making that leads to these outcomes may not be based on conscious processes but may be an outcome of automatic schemas.

Women's Aggressive Behaviors

When women are aggressive toward others, there is increasing evidence that the forms the aggression takes are genderedthat is, filtered through and influenced by broader social discourses that provide constructions of womanhood and femininity. For example, Crick and colleagues (Crick & Dodge, 1994, 1996; Crick et al., 2002; Crick et al., 1999) have conducted research on female forms of aggression, which they call relational aggression. Focusing on school-age and adolescent girls, they defined relational aggression as behaviors that harm others through damage, or the threat of damage, to relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion. These behaviors include acts such as giving someone the silent treatment to punishing him or her to get one's own way, using

social exclusion as a form of retaliation, or threatening to end a friendship unless the friend complies with a request (Crick et al., 1999). These are forms of violence that are neither physically nor verbally assaultive but are, at least from perpetrators' points of view, meant to be gentle, kind, and loving. As mentioned earlier, some perpetrators of incest and child sexual abuse view their experiences in this way (Gilgun, 1995; Gilgun & McLeod, 1999). Both women and men may experience sexual behaviors with persons unable to give consentbecause of age, ability, social status, and powerin these ways.

Men's Gendered Adaptations

Until recently, social theory did not directly address men's psychological development and adaptation. Rather, researchers assumed that men's psychology was the norm and left the gendered nature of experience unspecified. Masculinities theory, rooted in sociology and in criminology, presents understandings of gendered social and psychological adaptation that both complement and extend the feminist frame. These ideas also help to illustrate the gendered aspects of violence and the perpetration of crime. Masculinities theory offers contextualized views of male behaviors and adaptations in its premise that there is no universal, fixed masculine identity. Rather, throughout the life course, men adopt a range of gendered and culturally patterned responses to their social environments (Connell, 1987,1995; Goodey, 1997; Messerschmidt, 2000). Connell (1987) identified a hierarchy of possible masculinities, in which the traditionally held understanding of masculinity as the stoic, emotionally unexpressive, competitive breadwinner role assumes dominance. He called this traditional masculine response hegemonic masculinity and suggested that this identity has become the normative benchmark against which other masculine responses are measured. Alternative masculine responses, including more effeminate masculinities, homosexual, bisexual, and transgendered men, and others, become subordinated in relation to hegemonic masculinity. Subordinate masculinities are aberrations from the ideal and are, in many cases, negated by the dominant culture as viable or attractive masculine alternatives (Connell, 1995). Building on Connell's construction of hegemonic masculinity, other scholars (Gilgun & McLeod, 1999; Majors & Billson, 1992; Messerschmidt, 2000; West & Zimmerman, 1987) suggest that the resources men have at their disposal for expressing their maleness play a significant role in determining their individual responses or adaptations to their social environments. In the absence of resources allowing for expression of alternate, or subordinated, masculine traits (nurturing, cooperation, nonviolent conflict resolution, etc.), men compensate with excessive demonstrations of the one form of masculinity that is most influential, obvious, and valuedhegemonic masculinity. Men whose masculine experience is limited primarily to the expression of maleness as power and aggression are unlikely to develop masculine identities that value cooperation and communication. On the contrary, their dominant gender expression is likely to fit into the framework of violence, power, and competition. Majors and Billson (1992), for example, observed the phenomenon of subordinated masculinities in their study of African American young men and their adoption of cool pose a style of behaving and

speaking that for some African American men allows them to negotiate their diminished power status in relation to the dominant culture. Although the marginalization they experience as African Americans robs them of many of the opportunities and resources needed to effectively fulfill hegemonic masculine ideals of power and success, they nonetheless strive to embody these very ideals through different channels, such as aggression, or streetwise knowledge and behaviors. Thus, they assimilate and perhaps accommodate into their inner representations or schemas, representations of self, others, and how the world works based on their interpretations of their experiences and the contexts in which they live their lives. Majors and Billson (1992), along with other masculinity theorists (Kersten, 1990; LoPresto & Deluty, 1987; Messerschmidt, 2000) identify the potential for violent or aggressive behavior as expressions of masculine scriptswhich are similar to schemasamong marginalized groups of men as a means to conform to the structures of hegemonic masculinity even in their subordinated status. Anderson (1990) also suggests that violence and the perpetration of criminal acts can be seen as gendered adaptation strategies for survival in low-income communities with high rates of unemployment and social disorganization. Men, therefore, choose from a set of gendered adaptation strategies that might vary significantly according to their available resources, their class and race positions, and their contextual frames of reference. In response to adverse circumstances or distress, men incorporate into their self-schemas values related to violence and the perpetration of crimes as a means to maintain or fulfill hegemonic male expectations such as power, control, or making quick money. Although women might adopt similar schemas and associated behaviors, their physical and sexual enactments of violence are typically viewed as more of a transgression of gender expectations than a conforming position, unlike the case with men.

METHOD
This is not a traditional research report, nor is it a traditional theoretical discussion but, rather, the application of a theoretical model to two cases for the purposes of illustrating how the key concepts of our model play themselves out in individual lives. This approach is characteristic of deductive qualitative analysis (Gilgun, in press a, in press b). Our goal was to show how individuals act out cultural themes and practices and even invent new ways of doing so. We developed the two cases from ethnographic life history approaches, meaning that our goal was to examine individual lives and interpretations within the contexts of social, cultural, and historical themes and practices (Chambers, 2000; Denzin, 1989a, 1989b; Goldstein, 1994). As a prime research method of the Chicago School of Sociology, a seat of interactionist theorizing, life histories are a method of choice for examining how larger social forces and ideologies, based on gender, age, and social class, influence human lives (Gilgun & McLeod, 1999; Tierney, 2000). Gilgun's contribution to the present chapter is based on life history qualitative research she has conducted for more than 18 years with people who have had exposure to risk factors that predict violent behaviors, such as being abused and neglected in childhood, witnessing violence, espousal of violence-positive ideologies, and being discouraged from feeling and expressing emotions (Gilgun, 1990,1991,1992, 1994, 1995, 1996b, 1999, 2002b; Gilgun & McLeod, 1999; Gilgun, Klein, & Pranis,

2000; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990). Most had committed felony-level violence, such as child sexual abuse, physical abuse of children, woman battering, burglary, armed robbery, attempted murder, and murder and were in prison. Some of the women were convicted of felonies, but most had not. The ethnicity of the sample was European American, African American, Latino, and American Indian. Abram's work draws on an ethnographic study of young males 14 to 17 years old incarcerated for 4 to 6 months in secure correctional facilities. That study involved both qualitative interviewing and observation. These young men were diverse in ethnicity and included white, Hmong, Native American, Latino, and African American participants. All were repeat offenders, and the majority grew up in working-class, poor, and urban environments of the Twin Cities, Minnesota. The first wave of this project involved over 100 observations and a series of in-depth interviews with 12 youthful offenders who volunteered to participate in the study. These interviews were conducted jointly by Abrams and a male research assistant (Abrams, Kim, & Anderson, in press). Although these two studies had different goals and research questions, we found that our data complement one another in several ways. Specifically, bringing together the youth and adult perspectives on violence and resilience as gendered adaptations provides insight into useful and innovative concepts in understanding adaptation to adverse circumstances and to the development of violent and criminal behaviors.

ANALYSIS
For our analysis, we chose two cases: an adolescent young man who was in a juvenile correctional facility for physically assaulting his girlfriend and a woman who had abused her authority to engage in a sexual relationship with an adolescent young woman.

Elijah

Description
Elijah is a 16-year-old, African American male sentenced to serve 6 months in the county juvenile correctional facility for a probation violation involving a physical assault on his baby's mother, who is also his current girlfriend. His prior record includes possession of a weapon, fighting, and curfew violations. Elijah also has a history of selling and using marijuana, although he was never caught for these crimes. Elijah was raised primarily by his biological mother and stepfather. His biological father deserted the family when Elijah was very young, was addicted to crack cocaine, and spent time in and out of jail in Chicago. His stepfather and mother both use alcohol and marijuana openly, and his stepfather has a history of selling drugs and periodic incarceration. His older brother, whom he considered to be his closest friend, fathered five children by the age of 20 and was incarcerated for a 4-year sentence at the time of the interview. Elijah revealed that his mother and stepfather used force for discipline, including punching and whipping with a belt, but he didn't consider the behavior to be abusive.

Elijah's family lived in one of the poorest, transient neighborhoods in the metropolitan Twin Cities area. This neighborhood is known for crime, drugs, and gang activity. He claimed that his family struggled with having enough food and maintaining a stable apartment. After fathering a son at age 15, Elijah sought to make quick money by selling marijuana and having sex with older women for cash or material goods. While he involved himself in these sexual exchanges, he still maintained a primary relationship with his baby's mother, Monica, whom he still considered his girlfriend. On the day that he was arrested, he stated that he was upset over news of his brother's extended prison time and jealous because he saw Monica talking with a male peer at school. He said that he confronted Monica about the flirtation and she joked with him about having a crush on this other person. When they got into a verbal argument about it, the conversation escalated to a physical altercation, with Monica throwing the first punch, and Elijah proceeding to hit her and choke her until she threatened to call the police. According to Elijah, he ended up calling the police, not her. He was booked and sentenced technically for a probation violation.

Analysis
Elijah's version of his crime is imbued with several distinct and competing cognitive schemas. In his first interview (out of a series of five interviews over 6 months), he explained that he physically attacked Monica because she provoked him and disrespected him by going for his face. Later in the same interview, he added that while he was hitting and choking her, what he was really feeling underneath it all was hurt.

Interviewer: Did you feel good when you pushed her? No. I was hurt. I was hurt, but I didn't really express my Elijah: hurtness. I was hurt when I smacked her.
He also stated in a subsequent interview that he acted impulsively and compared his behavior with someone who was on drugs . I was acting brain dead. This impulsive behavior fits into the framework of an automatic schema activated when he feels hurt or disrespected and results in the use of physical force. At the same time that he could articulate why he used physical force against Monica, he also espouses a set of moral standards that include a strong prohibition against ever hitting a woman. He claims that he learned these values from his mother and his stepfather. Dad said to me, if you love a girl, don't put your hand on her. To assimilate the reality of his assault against Monica into his espoused moral frame, he convinced himself that Monica knew that he didn't want to hit her. Each time I hit her, she knew I didn't want to hit her. Because of this overriding value, he wished that he had made a different choice and fought the dude that was flirting with Monica, not Monica herself. However, he made a conscious choice not to fight the dude because he had marijuana with him at the time. At several points during the interview series, he also talked about his ethic of treating women with respect and the importance of equality between men and women in relationships. He claimed to have

a perfectly equal relationship with Monica because they both show each other so much love and they share the responsibility of a child. His professed morality with regard to women is a competing schema that he did not activate in the instance that he assaulted Monica. What Elijah doesn't say explicitly but what emerged in the analysis of the transcripts was that his gender/morality schema with regard to not hitting a woman can be overridden by a feeling of disrespect, which, for him, automatically triggers violence. The time that he hit Monica back, he was reacting to being hit in the face, which he interpreted as a sign of disrespect. Elijah described a very similar incident that occurred with a female friend a few years earlier when he hit her and pushed her down the stairs because she pointed in his face after he told her not to. Elijah's violent responses illustrate his gendered adaptation to feelings of disrespect and his consistent need to prove himself or to save face in these interactions. This gendered version of violence, for him, works on many levelsin fights with other boys, in his drug-dealing activities, and in regard to his own beliefs about what it means to have power. In his own words, When you have power, people pay you respect. He associates selling drugs with making oneself powerful because of the money, which also gives one respect. I liked it [selling marijuana] cuz I was getting respect, and I liked it cuz I was getting all the money. These ideas about power and disrespect fit neatly into his contextual urban frame of reference, even though they have the potential to contradict his professed moral frame with regard to hitting a woman. In his response to adverse family circumstances, Elijah learned to attend to his survival needs by making quick money through selling marijuana, which represents a masculinized response to adverse economic circumstances in his community. In addition, he also earned money and material goods by trading sex with older women, representing a more transgressive, or feminized gendered survival strategy. To reconcile this gender transgression, he draws a clear line between his exchanges with older women and what female prostitutes do: He doesn't negotiate money beforehand, he doesn't pass diseases, and he gets pleasure as well out of the sexual exchange. In this sense, he understands the exchange to be still in his power, even though the women are older and he is bartering a service for them. Elijah can be viewed as having resilient traits because he consistently strives to feel powerful and strong in relation to others and to meet his and his baby's material needs. Drawing on his physical strength, athletic ability, and charismatic personality, Elijah tends to craft situations to his advantage to meet his needs. According to Elijah, It's a great feeling for you to control yourself, be power yourself than for other people to be power over you or controlling you. His method of achieving his goal of being on top through fighting, sexual exchange, or selling drugs would be viewed as maladaptive from a clinical or social work perspective. However, in his social context, Elijah's willingness to go after his goals and to provide for his family can also be seen as adaptive to the circumstances that he faces and as an acknowledgment of the limited resources available to him. Appreciating Elijah's behavior as adaptive is difficult unless we look at this research through a broader social, political, and structural lens. This work makes clear the need to understand the context in which behavior occurs rather than predetermining which behaviors are and are not associated with resilience.

Caron

Description
Caron, 34, was sexually involved for 2 years with a young woman named Tina who was a member of a church youth group that Caron directed. Caron, a college graduate who had a professional career in the arts, had been married for 10 years and had no children. She worked at the church as a part-time youth leader. She had grown up in this church, where her mother had been president of the women's auxiliary for many years and where she herself had been active in youth groups in high school. Caron had known Tina for 2 years before the sexual involvement, which began when Tina was 16. The sexual part of their relationship ended when Tina talked to a church counselor, who told the minister. The minister fired Caron and sent a letter to the congregation about the sexual abuse. Caron sought treatment with a psychiatrist who advised her to self-report her abuse to the police. She did. The police did not bring charges because, according to Caron, Tina was 18 and Caron was seeking the therapy that social services would have recommended. Caron's husband steadfastly supported his wife. He did not know about Caron and Tina's sexual involvement until Caron was fired. He was the youth director at the church. He subsequently resigned from his job. A year after the public disclosure of the sexual abuse, Caron and her husband invited Tina to live with them because she was having trouble at home for disobedience, staying out after curfew, and using drugs. Tina lived with the couple for several months until she returned home. Caron said there was no resumption of their sexual activity, although she remained in love with Tina. From Caron's point of view, she and Tina both grew psychologically and emotionally through their relationship. Tina was the first person Caron was open with about her deepest thoughts and feelings. In her relationship to Tina, Caron experienced deep love, commitment, and authenticity.

Analysis
Whereas Elijah had competing schemas about how to treat women, Caron had one rock solid schema about her commitment to Tina, although she was aware that others had different views. She was unswerving in her representation of her relationship as moral. She said, To become involved with Tina was more a moral, morally right to me, because I understood what was happening, and I felt right about it. She knew she was contravening what society thought, what her church thought, what Tina's mother would think, and what her job was telling her. She must have had a sense of what her husband would have thought because she didn't tell him. As she said, she knew the moral stance out there is,

you know, to say no. Conventional morality, according to Caron, meant I should say no to Tina, and I should tell her to bug off and leave me alone and basically abandon her. Furthermore, Caron believed that not becoming involved with Tina because of someone else's feeling is not a moral stance. She said she looked very hard for reasons not to become sexually involved with Tina: I couldn't give her enough reasons morally or enough reasons for her development to say no. I didn't find any at the time. I looked. I looked for them like crazy but I couldn't find any. She cast this sexual relationship in terms of caring, a stereotypical female way of behaving. She recognized that she was paying the consequences, which included public exposure, firing, and her grandmother's phoning her up to tell her that she didn't want Caron to come to her funeral. Caron viewed involvement with Tina as a courageous, caring moral act because not to be sexual with Tina would have hurt Tina emotionally. She linked her commitment to engage in a sexual relationship with Tina to her own sense of abandonment, which she saw as arising from her own mother's leaving home with a man who was not her husband when Caron was about 14. Caron said she could identify completely with Tina, whose own family was not there for her. She said that Tina wanted to be sexual with her and to turn Tina away would have hurt her. Caron said she would never hurt Tina. She linked her commitment to not abandoning Tina to her own religious beliefs: I didn't want to abandon her. I will take shit to kingdom come before I will bail out. In some ways that is very, very strong to my religious point of view. It's very strong that you be there for people. It is very strong that that's the spiritual connection and understanding of who Jesus Christ was. He didn't bail out. He didn't go when he and he didn't maybe have his self-protection up either when it really comes down to the story. And so religiously and morally, it it yeah, that's where I'm at. That Caron made sense of her relationship with Tina in terms of a religion and religious language in which she was steeped shows how people build their schemas and make their adjustments to their environments in terms of the resources to which they are exposed. This is an instance where an individual transformed significant religious principles and stories into guidelines for behaviors that others find deeply troubling. Her unshakable schema not to abandon Tina appeared to be based on her interpretation of her own mother's abandonment. Caron had a difficult time stepping away from her own inner representations and seeing Tina as different. Her schema about abandonment was so strong, even in her teen years, that she was unable to reconcile with her mother. Her mother made many efforts to soften the impact of her abandonment on Caron, efforts that Caron repelled. For example, Caron's mother left a note for Caron the night she ran off with another man. Caron could not remember the content. When she returned late at night, she woke Caron up. Caron does not remember her response. Her mother made special efforts to reconnect with Caron, such as taking her alone on a camping trip. Caron remained unresponsive. What Caron did connect with was her mother's acts that Caron interpreted as personalized rejection. Caron clearly remembered her mother phoning her home collect while with the other man. Caron wanted to speak to her mother then but her mother hung up when the phone operator told her that

the party she wished to speak to (her husband) was not there. Caron was unresponsive to her mothers' overtures for reconnection and forgiveness. Although Elijah's assaults of women clearly fall within conventional definitions and understandings of violence, some people may have trouble labeling Caron's sexual involvement with Tina as violence. We contend that conventional definitions of violence are gendered that is, biased toward stereotypically male behaviors. The definition of violence in this chapter, however, clearly labels Caron's behaviors as violent. There are generational and maturational differences between Caron and Tina. Caron knew Tina was dealing with many personal issues. A mature response would have been to recognize Tina's vulnerability and gently refuse her sexual advances. Caron's responses to Tina appear to be almost the opposite of relational aggression, which Crick and colleagues (Crick & Dodge, 1994, 1996; Crick etal., 2002; Crick etal., 1999) find to be characteristic ways that girls show aggression. In her own terms, Caron sacrificed a great deal to ensure that Tina experienced inclusion, acceptance, and friendship. On the other hand, she perpetrated relationship aggression on her own mother, to whom she gave the silent treatment and whom she excluded from her life. Because of Caron's confused schemas about abandonment, hurt, and commitment and her schemas about conventional and nonconventional moral action regarding how to care for and protect others, she was unable to use ideas about generational differences and their inherent power differentials in her decision making and subsequent interpretations of her sexual behaviors with Tina. Caron said she sought counseling about her relationship with Tina before it became sexual. She discussed the counseling in terms of lesbianism. She made no mention about whether the counselor also brought up issues related to generational differences, power, and the vulnerability of troubled teenagers. Caron's strong care orientation is obvious in her account. In her terms, a refusal to hurt Tina is a moral stance of caring, a stance that Gilligan (Gilligan, 1982) links to women's ways of being moral people. Caron saw the sexual relationship with Tina as part of a whole relationship of caring and commitment. Her caring schema was so strong that when Tina began expressing doubts about their relationship, Caron urged Tina to go into therapy or talk to anyone she wanted about it. She was willing to risk public exposure if this is what Tina wanted. At the time of the interviews, she seemed willing and almost proud of being able to bear the consequences of expressing her love for Tina in sexual ways. In summary, Caron was an otherwise conventional, middle-class college graduate, who had a 10-year marriage preceded by a 5-year relationship to the same man, had strong ties to her church, and was very successful in the arts community. In these areas, she was highly adapted to a secure, positive environment, whereas Elijah was highly adapted to his financially insecure, unpredictable, and sometimes dangerous environment. In the one area that others would consider maladaptedher sexual relationship with TinaCaron herself saw in heroic terms and even mythic terms that made

enormous sense to her. She implicitly linked the price she paid to the martyrdom of Jesus. She certainly would have labeled her behavior as prosocial and highly competent.

DISCUSSION
The ideas of gendered adaptations, schemas, resilience, and our definition of violence were helpful in our analysis. We were able to see for ourselves that behaviors that outsiders might define as maladaptive, individuals themselves can define as adaptive. Both Caron and Elijah would define themselves as competent and even possibly resilient. We also saw that Caron could also fit outsiders' definitions of competent, resilient, and prosocial in her behaviors in several aspects of her functioning. The notion of schemas contributed to our analysis. Caron had some apparently unshakable and at least partially conscious schemas about abandonment, commitment, care, and self-sacrifice. These schemas can be linked both to conventional female socialization and to Christian moral values. Although she was aware of conventional morality in regard to her behaviors toward Tina, she thought them irrelevant to her situation. Elijah, on the other hand, did have strong values and schemas about not hurting women, but when his pride was hurt, other mechanisms took overhis schemas about what to do when disrespected. Elijah represents a lot of other men in terms of his gendered adaptations. We do not know how typical Caron is because we know little about women's ways of being violent and aggressive. Our definition of violence, as far as we know, is novel. Although we incorporated many well-accepted ideas about power, gender, and age, we also linked violence to definitions of healthy relationships that are widely accepted as having qualities of mutuality, reciprocity, and promoting the best interests of others, all elements associated with resilient individuals. We also found that understandings and definitions of violence are gendered; that is, both denotatively in definitions and connotatively in meanings, the term violence evokes images of physical and verbal aggression, qualities linked to male gender roles much more than female ones. We would like to expand definitions of violence to include female styles of perpetrating violence, although we certainly recognize that men are much more likely to commit lethal forms of violence than women, another outcome of gendered cultural themes and practices. We hope that our definition will provoke creative discussions, new understandings, and more effective responses to violence. We have found it challenging to drop our own schemas and link to the schemas of others, especially when their behaviors contravene our moral values. We believe, however, that researchers, practitioners, and policymakers must make these connections to others. If we don't, our responses will not be effective. Starting where clients are includes connecting to what they value. The challenge that we hope to make is to ask how social workers and other mental health care professionals can work effectively with people whose schemas and behaviors are adaptive in their own contexts but maladaptive in the larger society. How can we integrate this knowledge into our practice interventions and strategies for populations known to be vulnerable to maladaptive behaviors? Finally, these cases illustrate how adaptation and resilience have gendered dimensions. This finding is particularly relevant for researchers who tend to conceptualize resilience as sets of universal, prosocial

adaptations. Future research is needed, both qualitative and quantitative studies, to understand resilience processes for men and women, people of varying age groups, differing socioeconomic statuses, and social contexts.

NOTE
1. This theory has been shown to have several limitations for women of color and women of diverse social class backgrounds. For a review essay on this theory and its critiques, see Abrams (2002). Jane F. Gilgun Laura S. Abrams

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Entry Citation:
"Gendered Adaptations, Resilience, and the Perpetration of Violence." Handbook for Working With Children and Youth. 2005. SAGE Publications. 8 Sep. 2009. <http://www.sageereference.com/hdbk_youth/Article_n4.html>.

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