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IDENTITY

You are a villain, a bastard! Go and ask from your aged mother, but she will not tell .you the rigid truth What? Tell again! Tell again! I will snap your little nose; stab your eyes, suck your blood if you called me villain again. For you have spoken it already, in return I will .break your other hand Oh, villain if you bury me alive, as for I have no strength over you, still you will have this name. You can't discard it. You are damned, your blood is not pureask your .ma,,,, I choked him .Rubbish!' hold your tongue, no more word, you have spoken enough' I stood in silence. The opponent who I had almost half suffocated run away like a beaten dog in a contest. And I, the winner, became the looser and hid my face with my both hands. Thinking seized me.,,,,,, but mother had told me your father fought bravely and put several enemies into death before he died a martyr in the civil war . O mother, how could you betray me if my rival is right. Shall I go home to inquire and bare the matter, but if it came out true what I would do? to kill my mother? Or kill my self? Or bear life with loss of face? No, No! What ever happens I will find the truth, but mother is on the death bed, and the doctor has told me she is guest for few days in this world. No, I shall not ask her, she will die before the day which is fixed .for her, said my heart O mind, what do you suggest? Heart has decided to ask no question, but how can I live thus stigmatized, for I have no friend that is why I ask you, and true friends have now become antique and relic that can hardly be found. Tell me, heart is not to give .verdict on the case, for it, love affair is enough which is base of all the business As I invoked the mind, black sterile cloud with thunder storm appeared, seeming to revolt and revenge on the unknown criminal. My heart ceased beating and my blood freezed while the ground under my feet convulsed. But my mind was determined and I started homewards with heavy steps, banishing all emotions, sensations, and loving pulsation which were taught and inculcated in me by my mother (because mother was .suspicious to me and piece of shame) and were advanced by my beloved On the way back home, the errand of ten minutes became ten years. My eyes were crimson red and full of violent tears, and had no more possession of shame and fear. A sound echoed, which to my ears once had pleasing and soothing effect, had now become piercing and penetrating. She, my beloved, came near and burst out in her usual way. Idiot! Where were you, but as she noticed my living corpse her lips quivered and confidence withered and then fell into a dead faint. I took no notice of .her skeleton and trod my weary way to get home At last I covered a stone's throw distance with my heavy feet. But I did not dare to enter and sat by the door and lost in meditation. While the evening sun peeped through the clouds, and a red rooster, setting on the bough of a deed tree, crowed and

it echoed three times into my ears. It disturbed my contemplation over the matter, but my attention was engrossed by small spot that grew larger and larger as it came near. I recognized her as my beloved. She was wearing a looming face and was full of wrath. As she came near me, she was ready to give me a blow, but a painful voice from inside the house came and we rushed in. I found my mother lying on his bed, she tried to utter some words in her last breath, but she couldn't and gave me a smile. There she died like a saint. My beloved close her half open eyes which were trying to reveal .something that I did not know I buried her in the morning and shed tears on her grave, but in actual fact I wept for .my identity and the secret that she buried with herself I returned home and found a letter covered in yellow envelop. I opened it and discovered that she (my beloved) is no more my dearest. 'I love you more than the things in the world, but now I am parting ways with you because of the name you have got. Our family is of a noble caste and non of them, even I, would accept our marriage because it will stain our family name,' she said I read the letter just like a newspaper because in my heart passion and emotion dwelt no more, and to me love was like an idiot seven years old stubborn child who, runs .after material things, soon gets annoyed and very soon gets pacified I have read what all the wise men have written on love. The fool wise men says 'love is ever rewarded',,, 'you can't be balanced it with gold and emerald'. Poh! How rumor truth can tear it? What are you telling? Stop nonsense, we will disclose the truth, .said my mind Once again heart shook me and whispered in my ears, go and leave this place and start anew life somewhere, but my unshakable mind addressed me to trace your .identity even at the cast of your life I was thinking about my originality, and in the meanwhile I closed my eyes with all the worries on my mind and fell into a deep sleep. In dream I saw a nightingale, sitting on a green bough, and people around her. She uncloaked their future one by one, and when my turn came I ask her to reveal my past which made her laughed and inquired, Why not future? People visit me to seek their future and they let their past be buried. In response I said, I know my future because I live in present and build .my future on its base. It is my past that ache me all over Ok! She said by splitting her red lips, and opened her fortune teller and laughed again which surprised my nerves. She told how a prince can forget his past, prince! said I. she further revealed that the woman (my mother) who died last night was not your mother but aunt. She saved your life, as instructed by your mother, the queen, and brought you here to save you from your enemies who assassinated both your mother and father-the king and queen. She also informed me that you are the last survival of .your family

When I woke up I found myself half happy and half angry, and later I was informed .that not only I saw that dream but every one of the villagers

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