The American Dream By Scarleth Bula

There she is in agony; her heart couldnt resist any more pain or suffering. There, in that marvelous Philadelphias Benjamin Franklin Bridge in the middle of the most beautiful starry night as she had never seen it before, with no one around her, she is about to take the hardest decision of her life. Even though, she is just 22 years old, even though, her beliefs are whispering disagreement in her ears, making her hesitate about what she is about to do ( to finish off her misery), nothing or nobody, not even the tremble of her whole body or her afraid of heights could make her change her mind. Time seems to stop around her; every single detail is more perceptible for her: insects flying around, her hair moving back and forth due to the strong wind, little drops of water are splashing her from the Delaware River; these insignificant details could just mean one thing: it is time to embrace the comfortable and peaceful arms of the death!. While jumping off the bridge, many beautiful memories are coming back to her mind; these ones are fading away while approaching more to the dark and furious tide of the river. When she is already sunk into it, she immediately starts harking back to all negative things that happened to her in this year. She doesnt want to die thinking about them so, she decides to try to reach the surface but her efforts are useless as the waves are sinking her more and more until she cant do anything else than letting herself go as the river wants to. Its hard to believe that has happened something unforeseeable to a beautiful girl. Many people might think this is something unforgivable, a terrible sin that is judged by God, however, things are done because of a reason whether is acceptable or not. Recalling thoughts of this young lady from the very beginning, this woman considered herself as a pretty smart Latin girl who was capable of sacrificing everything in order to get her dreams come true. She had recently graduated from the University. Her parents were always supporting her as she had always been a very responsible and good person. They actually were a happy family, a very religious one. Yet these people were having lots of economic problems, so the parents of this Latin woman had no money to pay for her a PhD. However, this beautiful lady called Caroline had a dream, but not an insignificant one; she was pursuing the American dream. She wanted to go the United States to find a job and apply for a scholarship in a University. She had some savings on her bank account but, they were not enough to make her dreams come true. Nevertheless, she told her parents that she had saved enough money to survive for three months which was a lie because she had money for less than two months. Her parents were very worried about Carolines decision but they trusted in God and in her sense of responsibility so, they allowed her to go to that foreign country. On November 15th, in 2012 Caroline landed in American ground. She was the happiest girl on this world; she couldnt believe she was so far away from home and she could feel for the first time she was free and independent. She was barely able to communicate in English but she wanted to improve her level (this is one of the reasons why she decided to come to the States). At the airport, she had a hard time trying to understand a local police officer from Philadelphia city, this tall, bad-tempered guy was interrogating her nationality and what she was carrying on her luggage. She wasnt able to understand him at the first time, due to the strong accent of this man (she had never listened an American person in real life until that moment) after understanding his questions, she

immediately answered to him with no doubts about them, but she noticed that many of the police officers that were around the place, they were giving to her a disdainful, humiliating look as she were the worst thing on earth. She could feel the negative energy around her but, she trusted in God and told him inwardly: Lord if Im here is because you have a purpose for me on this land, so dont let anything bad happen to me right now. After this short prayer, she spoke to the policeman for a second time and finally he set her free from a room where she was asked to be for around an hour and half. A few minutes later, she left the airport and took a taxi. She told the taxi driver to take her to the safest, cheapest and closest motel near to the center of Philadelphia District. When she arrived, she also noticed that after she paid to the taxi driver (before he could start the car to continue his path), he told her: You stupid Latin bitch! You shouldnt have come to the States; we dont want people like you over here anymore! Caroline was open-mouthed and very upset by his offensive words but she opted for not paying attention to them. After talking to the owner of the motel, she paid in advance the first month of rent to avoid any problem with it, and she unpacked her belongings. One hour later, when it was around 7:00 pm, she went for a walk while doing so, suddenly it started to snow, she was very excited because she didnt know hows the snow like and then she had the chance of touching it, feeling it on her beautiful face, she was enjoying the snow for herself; she made the traditional angels on the floor and ate a little bit of it, then she walked around the huge and neat streets trying to know the neighborhood much better and when she started to feel frozen, she went back to her room at the motel. One week later, she decided to start looking for a job. She already met some polite people in the hotel however they were also foreign people from different parts of the world (one Chinese girl, a Polish lady and one man from Egypt). Caroline looked on the newspaper for job offers and she highlighted them to make sure she wont miss anyone of them. She went to different places like clothing stores, restaurants, shops, etc. but none of them accepted her to work on those places because, it is legally incorrect to give work to immigrants with no papers they said. Surprisingly Carolines friends found job first than her, even though they are in the same conditions as Caroline is immigrants. Days were passing by, and she was starting to get worried about money when she noticed that all of her friends left the motel because they were earning enough money to live in a better place. One day, after applying for a work as a secretary in a company the interviewers told her behind her back when she was leaving the building: I dont know what the hell she was thinking about, we would never hire a fucking Latina girl because Latinas are thieves, stupid, mindless, lazy people, and besides that, they are always fucking drugged. Latinas are just good enough for sex and nothing else. When she heard that, she was so wrathful that she wanted to slap those guys on their faces, but that only would have brought to her problems much worse than the ones she already had. She just said aloud forgive them lord, forgive them with these words, the scared guys realized that she heard what they were saying. Two months later and not having found anything yet, tired and very mad, she went back to the motel, without having lunch, extremely physically and mentally exhausted, once again, she started to count the money that she had. In that moment she realized that she had already spent all the money and she owed the second month of rent. The owner of the motel knocks Carolines door yelling at her saying the following words: You Latina! Are you hearing me? This is the third time I ask you for the rent and you have been ignoring me, but I wanna tell you something if tomorrow at 8:30 am you dont give

me my money, I will literally kick your ass out from here and I will call the cops okay?. The guy leaves the floor and walks away. Caroline was very scared and she couldnt sleep that night, she didnt know what to do, she didnt want to escape from that place, she wanted to pay the rent and do things right but she couldnt get the money he was asking for at least she robs a bank in that night but, she would never do that, so she decided to escape from the motel at midnight when no one could see her. She spent 2 days walking around Philadelphia Districts streets, starved and sleeping on the parks like a beggar. People looked at her and offered her money but she never accepted it. She was deeply depressed and in the third day of being homeless, she went to the main church of the city where she was living in. Over there, she started to cry out relentlessly to God saying: Why God? Why? I cant believe I left the comforts of my sweet home for this! Please have mercy on me! I need somebody to help me out! I cant do this by myself but I know you can change this horrible situation! Send a kindhearted man that can pull me through Immediately after that prayer, a tall figure behind her appeared from nowhere. Caroline felt the presence of someone and when she looked back, she found a blue-eyed man that told her: Why are you crying, beautiful lady? Its Christmas time, You cant be that sad! Caroline without knowing this man hugged him very hard. And then Caroline sobbingly said: I had no one here, Im far away from home, Ive been trying to look for a job here but everybody treated me like a dog. Im starving and thirsty, I wanna go back home, I hate this place suddenly she passed out on his arms and he took her to his home.

In the following morning, she woke up in a very spacious and cozy room; she was very surprised as she hadnt expected to be in such a beautiful apartment. She got up and looked at the window and stare at the amazing view seen from the 14th floor. All of a sudden, a masculine voice was talking to her saying: Are you okay? I prepare a huge breakfast for you, dont thank me, please! Its my way to say to you Merry Christmas! Caroline was so overwhelmed and so grateful to have found such a generous man but at house. It was difficult for her to talk to him, its like his presence made her speechless. She was trying to eat everything as possible. The food tasted like heaven for her. She hadnt had a nice breakfast since she left her home. While she was eating, this young man was looking at her in a fascinating way and he started to ask her personal questions to get to know her better. They spent around 5 hours talking about many things and at the end of their talk he made her a proposition: Caroline I had been looking for a person who can take care of this apartment and do its cleaning, because I need to be constantly travelling, and to tell you the truth Im very distrustful but I feel I can trust in you. I will give you a monthly payment and dont worry about the bills I will personally pay them and I will give you extra money for your food so the refrigerator is never going to be empty. I promise you wont be here all your life but with the salary Im going to give you, you will be able after some months to afford your studies, deal? Caroline didnt think about her answer, she immediately accepted his proposition. Caroline was pretty excited about what was going to happen in the following months. She easily let in the past what she went through and she started to get focus more on her future. There were days that she had the apartment all for herself and there were other days that she spent long hours laughing and talking to this handsome guy. When she was apart from him, she felt lonely and sad. Caroline was falling in love of this

American boy, but she thought: Such a smart, kind and handsome person like him would never fall in love of a person like me. I will never confess him that Im love of him. In spite of these words, her promise was broken after a few days, when the young man invited her to a romantic dinner outside of the city. When they finished their dinner, they went for a walk around a beautiful lake. It was 11:59 pm when he held her hands and they were face to face looking at each others eyes. His beautiful blue eyes made her confess her feelings and in that moment, he just kissed her passionately. After they went back home, He told her that he wanted to have a relationship with her and that he would like to have his first time with her. She couldnt believe he was virgin, but his sight was pure, so she believed in his word and she told him that she was virgin too, so they started to kiss each other again and he was taking her to his bed when she noticed that he wanted to have sex with her, she was really scared because he knew what she was about to do was wrong, but he tried to convinced her with his words: Its okay Caroline, you love me I love you and I want to be with you forever, believe me, it would be okay if we stay together so theres nothing wrong to have sex with somebody you really love right? I promise, I will never hurt you, I want you to be mine and I want you to be yours, youre such an angel! I can wait to be just one flesh with you ! And that night Caroline became officially a woman. One month later, she noticed that things changed between them. He didnt spend too much time with her as he used to and he had more business travel than before. One day, he asked Caroline to sit down and talked to him. He said the following words: Well dear, I dont need your services anymore; you are free to go at any time today. Thanks for taking care of my lovers house, by the way Im bisexual and I have a wife thats why I had to leave you here to go to my business travel. You were a good girl, faithful and honest, so now take this money and you can go. Hey I have to recognize that for being a virgin you are good at sex girl! Thanks for everything, I had a good time with you; now pack your things and get out of here as soon as you can, before I changed my nice attitude. Caroline was in shock, she couldnt believe she gave her virginity to a sick man, she burst into tears and started to yell at him: Why did you do this to me? Why did you say that you love me? I believed every single word you told me. You are such a sick bastard! You fat slob, I hate you! I dont wanna take your bloody dirty money! And she started to hit him desperately and he grabbed her with not compassion by her arms and told her: I warned you Caroline, I was being nice for the good of you but I see you want to leave this place with a bad remember right? Okay so as farewell party, what do you think about having sex for the last time huh? Caroline screamed loudly asking for help but anybody could listen to her. He took her by forced to his bedroom even though, she tried to escape from his hands, he hit her several times violently until she got semi- unconscious and he took advantage of his vulnerability to rape her several times with no mercy. The next morning, Caroline woke up on the middle of an isolated park, full of bruises and with her skirt completely bloodstained. She couldnt remember for few minutes what the cause of such a horrible thing was, due to the hits on her head, but when she did, she started to cry and she begged God to forgiveness and for giving her a new chance to survive and overcome her problems. In that day, an old man passed by where Caroline was sat down, he asked her, what happened to you, young lady? Youre full of bruises and blood, please, come with me!. But she was afraid he would do the same thing as the young man did. The old man could see her fear in her brown eyes, so he

told her: lady, you are hurt, you need a doctor, my name is frank Im a retired Doctor but now I have a bakery I sell bread, cakes, cupcakes and many other delicious things with healthy products, Im looking for a young girl like you to help me out, if you want , you can go with me and I will show you the place. I promise I wouldnt do anything bad to you. The last time she heard similar words were from a rapist, but she thought that, the old man is not strong enough to do something to her, besides that, he seemed to be honest and worried about her injuries so she took the old mans hand and they got away from that place. The bakery was a very beautiful place; everything smelled delicious, she thought that she was in heaven as she used to eat cakes made by her mom. Oh her mom! She really missed her homeland, her family, her old but peaceful life. The old man asked her name, and she told him Caroline, so he said: beautiful Caroline, first you need to take a shower; the bathroom is at the end of the hall, right door. While you are cleaning yourself up, Ill get some new clothing for you from my daughter and I will talk to my wife about you. Please do not worry, make yourself at home! I almost forgot! When you get dressed you can choose whatever you want to eat; the beverages are next to the breads shelf. Dont worry about the money; you need to eat something. Caroline felt like this man was her father, so she immediately obeyed him. 2 hours later, Frank started to cure her injuries and bruises and asked her about what had happened to her. For Caroline it was difficult to tell such horrible and embarrassing thing. She didnt want him to judge her or think bad about her. Actually, after telling the whole story to Frank, he gave her a warm hug and told her: Im so sorry that you have had to go through it. You need to forgive him and forgive yourself and above all stay strong Caroline. Im going to help you if you allow me okay? Caroline worked and lived with the old man and his family for two months; on the third month she noticed that something was wrong with her. One day, she started to feel dizzy, she actually wanted to vomit, so she went quickly to the bathroom; she spent 30 minutes throwing up then, she immediately thought about the possibility of being pregnant, so she decided to take a pregnancy test at home. While taking that test, she made sure anybody was around her. For her misfortune, the test went positive. She was very astonished and scared at the same time. She didnt know what to do, so she couldnt sleep that night thinking about whats the best option for her and the baby. Two days later, she left Franks house without saying goodbye she just wrote a note saying thank you for everything. She took a taxi very early in that foggy morning and she asked the man to take her to the 38th Street Lancaster Avenue. The sky was getting darker when she was closer to the appointment place called Family Medical society a division of womens medical society which is a clinic, but not a common one. This one was the worst abortion clinic of all the ones that exists in the United States. However the innocent Caroline didnt know about it, she just looked for the closest and the cheapest one in the city. When Caroline stepped into the clinic a heavy rain poured down on the streets of Philadelphia district. She paid immediately for the abortion without thinking too much 1,600 dollars, she just wanted to get rid of the monster that the rapist seed in her belly. Her heart had been filled with anger, frustration, pain and resentment by that time. She truly believed that if that baby were born, he or she would suffer on this unfair and sad world. She was trying to convince herself that the decision was taking was for the good of her and the unborn child. Anyways she talked to the Doctor in charge of the abortion procedures Dr. Gosnell and asked him if everything

was going to be okay, if the baby was not going to suffer and he explained her that the baby wont fell anything as he is not a human being until the 6 or 7th month of age (something that is a vile lie). Furthermore, he told her that he was the best Doctor and that she shouldnt worry about anything because she is in good hands he said. After one hour, a nurse came to the waiting room and told her to get undressed in the bathroom. She did so but when she was there she noticed that the bathroom was not in good conditions, and she saw two cockroaches around the toilets, so she decided to not peeing in that place. She told the nurse about the bathroom and this one told Caroline not to get worried about it because some people were going to clean it and fix it that day in the afternoon, because of these words she stopped worrying. When, she was on way to the O.R. the nurse put a handkerchief with something that smell strong on Carolines nose. She fell semi unconscious. When, she was in the O.R, her sight was blurred but she could still see a little bit of the things happening around her but with difficulty. She could notice that the room was full of blood with dismembered fetus in bottles and she saw a table not with chirurgical instruments but instruments used in a slaughter house like huge scissors and knives and there was a smell of putrefaction around the room almost unbearable that all the nurses and the Doctor had to wear special masks to breath in. In such barbaric conditions, Caroline wanted to escape from that place, she felt like she was in hell, being punished for all the mistakes that she had committed in all her life. Dr. Gosnell told Caroline the following words before starting with the abortion process: Well my darling welcome to my slaughter palace. Here, theres no mercy for any bloody kid. As you have noticed theres no return. People like you, misinformed come to my clinic 24/7 believing that I will give them the best attention and the best sanitary conditions. I will never do that, its not worth Im not even a licensed doctor ha, ha, ha! here the strong women only survive my surgery. Lets see if you are one of them! Lets begin! His untrained staff took Carolines extremities to make sure she wont move while Dr. Gosnell was pulling out the baby from her womb. When he had the baby in his hands Caroline tried desperately to get the creature in her arms but the four guys around her didnt let her move, so she was motionless trying to close her eyes because she didnt want to see how that monster kills the baby but, due to the substance that she smelt a few minutes ago, she wasnt able to close them, so she saw when he cut with a big pair of scissors one by one of the babys extremities while he was groaning with pain and bleeding relentlessly and Mr. Gosnell finished his surgery by cutting the babys head and throwing it away as if were a plastic doll. When Caroline woke up she was far from Philadelphia district, she was actually close to a bridge. Tired, hurt and emotionless, she decides to walk to her final destination