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Happiness is what everyone seeks in life.


Margot van Aanholt Bruehlstrasse 31 76297 Stutensee Germany www.justahappylife.com March, 2013

Maybe you are already happy beyond imagination. Maybe you would like to have just a touch more of it. Maybe you would like to have a lot more of it. Wherever you are at this point in your life, the next 30 days will be filled with the focus on happiness. Just to have even more of it than you are already enjoying now. You will receive 30 tips to integrate into your daily routines. Most of them only take a couple of minutes. Many of them take a bit of a shift in perspective. And all of them will open your heart to the abundance of happiness that is already available to you. Whether you know it or not. DAY 1 SMILE Smile as often as you can. Smile to everyone you meet - people you know and total strangers. Smile to your family, your colleagues, the girl in the supermarket. Smile to yourself in the mirror. Smile every time you think of smiling. Smile even when you sense a bad feeling coming up. Just smile, smile, smile until your cheeks hurt. And watch what happens today! DAY 2 Did you wake up with a smile on your face this morning?

2 Feels good, doesn't it? So let's keep smiling today. And then add something else that is highly beneficial. The tip for today may seem to be just as logic and simple as the act of smiling - and yet, we tend to forget to do it. No, not completely, we couldn't survive without it. But we often forget to do it consciously. Can you guess what I mean? Yes, the tip for today is:

BREATHE! There are many techniques to focus on your breath. But as you already might have found out, I love to take the easy path. For me it goes like this: Three times a day I take three deep breaths. That's all. Three times three deep breaths. In the morning, in the evening and some time during the day. If possible I search for fresh air. An open window works fine, but when I get the chance, I go outside. Often, when we think we take a deep breath, we do not really do it, we just think we do. Therefore I developed a little routine: I blow out ALL of the air, until there is NOTHING left in my lungs. I do this slowly and carefully. - Then I breathe in deeply, first expanding my stomach and then my chest area. Again, I do this as slowly as possible. - I hold my breath for a couple of seconds, just for the fun of it, before I slowly breath out all of the air again.

Often I think I did breath out everything. But when I try, there almost always seems to be just a little more air in me than I thought...

3 That's it. Smiling and breathing. It made a lot of difference to me. As I take my breaths, I feel the energy flow back into my body. So breath deeply today and feel the energy flow.

DAY 3
Did you feel more energized by remembering to take deep breaths consciously for a couple of times per day? I know I do and I often do it extra, when taking a break. Still, I have friends, that build this much more into their daily routine than I do. Maybe you do it that as well? Let's get to the focus of this coming day.

Say THANK YOU! Do it as often as you can, to as many people as possible. Every time we say thank you to someone else, we realize that there are many people and many things that contribute to our lives and to our happiness. So give thanks as often as possible today. With an accompanying smile... If you spend the day alone - as I often do in my home office then start thanking the computer for supporting you in your work. I personally feel that objects can sense our feelings of appreciation.

DAY 4
let's have some fun today. This will be a very short mail, because today's focus is: DANCE! So get up, turn on the music and dance. With your loved ones, your children, your grandchildren, your colleagues, your customers, your neighbours, your cat or dog, the broomstick that you'd normally use to sweep the yard, your imaginary friends - or alone...

4 You might not be comfortable with all options above. Pick the one that suits your circumstances best and just do it. Whether you do it for five minutes or all day, I'll bet you feel light and happy afterwards!

DAY 5
Smiling, breathing, saying "Thank you!" and dancing I hope that there was something in it that gave you the possibility to reflect upon the many possibilities to create good-feeling moments throughout the day. All of this was "doing" something. Yet we do not need to do anything at all to feel totally and completely at peace in the moment. the tip for today is much more simple: BE STILL, BE QUIET, LISTEN TO THE MIRACLE THAT LIFE IS Just take a moment or two during the day to get back to silence, just doing nothing. Sit quietly in a chair and listen. Listen to the noises around you. Listen to the thoughts that want your attention. Listen to the music that your body makes. Do not reflect upon anything. Just sit still and listen. Notice it, than go to the next thing that calls for your attention. And when the thoughts and noises start to change into a background sound - then listen to the silence that lies underneath all of this. That silence loves to be heard! If you are a long time meditator, then of course follow your own routine. If you've never done this before, it could feel a bit awkward in the beginning. Do it anyway - you could very well fall in love with it. To me those moments of sitting still and doing nothing but listening to the silence of creation, is a great source of energy and creativity. I've noticed that by doing this early in the morning, my day flows more easily. When I take some minutes in the evening, before I go to bed, I sleep even better than I normally do. Because I give the thoughts of the day a bit of attention, they seem to be satisfied that they have been heard. And they will not knock on my door when I sleep. I sincerely hope that you can find some moments of silence during this day - and that they help you to feel the peaceful energy that makes everything so much more easy and fun. Maybe you'll love it so much, that you keep doing it?

Day 6
Did you enjoy your moments of quiet and stillness? To me they are the most important moments of my day. Here I gather energy, inspiration and clarity. That focus alone can change your life. But I've promised to give you 30 days of options. In doing that you have the possibility to find out what works best for you. Take those and let the rest go. We will get into action today! Please take out a piece of paper and something to write with. Done? Now, take one minute. No need to count the seconds, but by taking only a minute or so, you will prevent yourself from thinking. Thinking is not what we want to do this time. Ready? Start writing down all the activities you love to do. Not the ones you dream about like quitting your job or traveling around the world. I mean the "normal" things like reading a book or taking a walk in the forest. Okay, one minute - just do it now. Do not postpone it! Do not read the rest before you've written your list. Have you done it? Have you really done it? Okay! Now look at your list and take one thing that is actionable. Something that you can do today. Even if it is for only five minutes. And do it. Do it with the feeling of joy that you are doing something that you really, really love. Appreciate the moment and see how you feel tonight!

DAY 7
Did you do some fun things yesterday? I really hope so.

My suggestion for today is: DRESS HAPPY! Take a look in your wardrobe. What clothes do you really, really like? What color, what material? Make them your choice for today. If you need to dress for business and do not have that many options, take a look at the accessories can you have some fun with them? Every time you look in the mirror today, you will most probably feel good. Then smile at yourself - thank yourself for choosing wisely, make a little dance, take a few relaxing deep breaths... You get the point :-)

DAY 8
Do you have a favorite color? Or are you like me and does your preference change with your mood, the brightness of the light, with what you are doing or where you are? Different colors radiate at different frequencies. There is a lot of ancient and modern wisdom behind the meaning of colors and the way they relate to psychology. But today we're not thinking of knowledge. Instead let's be practical and connect to how we feel. Today's focus is: THINK COLORFUL What is your favorite color today? What color makes you feel good? Make your choice and then surround yourself with it. No, even better: immerse yourself in it. And feel the power of the color every time you see it. Drink your tea out of the green cup. Gaze into the blue sky over and over again. Look out for all the flashing red cars or motorbikes. Put the vase with yellow roses on the desk you're working at. Take the pink gemstone with you in your pocket. Have the oranges on the table. Or wear your rainbow colored scarf. You might even take out your paint or watercolors today. And play and have fun.

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Just make sure to notice how you feel around the colors. It's a little tricky, but it can help turn your day around, when it is "one of those days"...

DAY 9
You may have noticed that there is no specific order in which the daily focuses are presented to you. That is on purpose. Because each and everyone of us is different. There are different things that cheer us up. Of course happiness is not about cheering ourselves up. But it is much easier to go through our daily lives when we feel good. There is nothing wrong with surrounding ourselves with things that make us feel good, with doing things that bring us energy and with focusing on that which raises our vibration. Do you agree? We will get to "deeper" things later, but for now, let's keep adding the "little things" that can enhance our feelings of well-being in a profound way. Especially when we notice them - and integrate them more consciously into our daily activities. Today a tip that is simple - and something we all know. Still, knowing it doesn't make us doing it. I can confess that there are days that I skip this. If I do so, I can feel the difference, so it never takes long before I get back to it. Here is the tip: SEEK THE SUN! Sunlight is important to us. Not only do we just feel better when the sun gets a chance to tickle our skin, sunlight also plays a physical role and contributes to our health. So go outside and let the sun rays play on your nose. When it happens to be a day with many clouds, know that the sunlight comes from behind them and gets through to you when you search for it. The light finds its way. On cloudy days I find out where the sun is supposed to be and I then just turn my head in that direction.

DAY 10
t has been said by many experts and laymen alike: an attitude of gratitude enhances our lives. Even though I love to write, I never got to creating a gratitude journal, which is often adviced that we do. It just didn't appeal to me, that empty journal that had to be filled with only things I appreciate. Until I found a way to play with it and focus on it for a short period of time. And it worked! My outlook on life shifted. Not dramatically, because I'm one of those people that looks for the bright side of life. But still, I noticed the difference.

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If you open the attachment, you can see how I did it. It might work for you as well! Do it for a week or two. And when you like it, do it again. And again. And again. Before you know it, it becomes a habit. Habits are not that easy to change and well, if it is a happy habit, then that is a good thing. :-) 30DaysOfFocusOnHappiness_Day10.pdf 304 kb Ver Descargar

DAY 11
Did you create your little booklet of appreciation? Then let's have some more fun with it. We often get gifts of appreciation from the people around us. They give us a compliment or a little - or big - gift. Often we more or less reject those acts of kindness. Have you ever heard yourself speak any of the following sentences - or something like them? Someone surprises you with beautiful flowers. "Oh you shouldn't have done that!" Why not? Someone thanks you for what you've done for him or her. "Oh, it was nothing, I like doing that anyway." Why not return this with a big smile? Someone compliments you about the shirt you're wearing. "Oh that's just on old thing." Why not admit that you like it as well? It seems modest to play yourself down. And modesty seems like a good quality. But is it in those occasions? I used to do it as well - guilty as charged. But one day a friend of mine pointed out to me that I was more or less rejecting the gift in that way. By not accepting a compliment fully, you make it less valuable. By not accepting a gift with a smile and a thank you, how does that make the giver feel? So the tip for today is: RECEIVE It makes the giver feel well. It makes us lighten up even more. It is much more fun for everyone involved. And it makes the circle go round. A gift is only a gift, when it is truly accepted. So, are open to the gifts of life and receive them with pure joy. It makes everyone feel happy. Make receiving a part of your life - and watch what happens. your little book of appreciations will need a second volume. Happy receiving! Today, tomorrow, all days.

DAY 12
Let's dive a bit more into theories and backgrounds today. Psychology has changed a lot over the last few decades. From focus on cure and prevention, there is a whole new movement within psychology that searches for ways to enhance the good things in life: Positive Psychology. The insights offer a great contribution to the well-being of many people. In short - and stated pretty superficial, I agree there are three "levels" of happiness: - pleasant experiences - engagement - meaning In order to live a fulfilled life, we need a combination of all three of them. In our 30 Day Focus, there are elements of all three parts. Today, I suggest the focus to be in the field of engagement. When we are fully engaged in something, time seems to come to a halt and we dive in completely. Did you experience such moments? I know them for sure. As I was writing the concept for justahappylife.com I completely lost track of time and as I looked up from my computer, four hours had gone by - and I thought is would only be 30 minutes or so... It feels great, so the focus for today is: IMMERSE and FLOW Flow is how such a state of deep engagement is called. The term was first introduced by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, one of the big names behind Positive Psychology. What is something that makes you experience such a state? Reading or writing, creating or studying, gardening or doing the dishes? It can be anything, it depends on your preferences. Take some time to engage this way today. It feels wonderful! Even if it is for just a quarter of an hour.

10 An important tip for everyone who tends to loose him- or herself completely in such moments: Set a timer when there are other important activities waiting that day. By doing that you create the circumstances that allow you to really dive in and let go of everything else.

DAY 13
the tip for today is as easy as it is difficult it depends on how you look at things. CELEBRATE Celebration is a recognition of wonderful things. Which gives us a very good feeling! Sunrise to sunset - both are beautiful and a moment to celebrate: the beginning of a new day with all the opportunities in it - or the end of a day with so much to reflect. Even things that did not go as well as you expected or hoped, can be a reason to celebrate. At least you now have a bit more clarity about what you want... I wish you a beautiful day with many moments of joy!

DAY 14
one of the things that enhances our feelings of well-being is the process of learning and exploring new things. Remember the feeling you had as you mastered something that first seemed really hard? Golf seems to be on the mind of many people nowadays, so I think it is like the hole-in-one- feeling. The first conversation in a new language, the first really wonderful shot with your camera, the first ... fill in the blanc. But it is not only in the achievement. The process of learning new skills or of gaining new knowledge is also very rewarding.

11 All of that starts with the focus for today: BE CURIOUS Through this open mindedness we see opportunities to learn everywhere. How did you do that? Can you show me? Can you explain that? I wonder how ... is done. I ask myself where that path leads me to. What is around that corner? Is there another way to bring me to my goal. All of those questions come out of curiosity. I wish you many opportunities for curious exploration today!

DAY 15
This is Day 15 of our 30 Days of Focus on Happiness. How does it go so far? Did those gentle reminders add some focus on the positive things in life? I really hope so. Today, let's look back. What did you like most? I'd suggest that you focus on exactly that today. Because repetition makes habits. Happy habits in this case! So here is the focus for today: REPEAT WHAT YOU LOVE!

DAY 16
remember the good feeling you had as a child, when you did put in the last piece of the puzzle, did plant the flag on top of your sand castle or when the horse you were drawing turned out great? Or maybe you remember the taste of the first fresh cake you ever made, the sound of the song you improvised on the guitar or piano that made you glow or the smell of the roses you yourself had planted?

12 It is the sensation of accomplishment that makes us feel so good. We did something we loved to do and it turned out well. What compares to that? Also things we do not like doing that much and that turn out well, make us feel good about ourselves. Do you agree? The suggested focus for today is: LOOK FOR YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS! So often we do things that are really great and that we - and often others - take for granted. At the end of the day, look back on what you've done and search for as many accomplishments as possible. Yes, doing the dishes counts! Looking for accomplishments counts as well :-) Wow, doesn't that feel great? You show to yourself how wonderful you are. What could be better than that? Have fun and accomplish wonderful things today!

DAY 17
today's Focus is very easy: TAKE A BREAK! Trying too hard is contra productive. So focus on nothing at all today and relax... :-) Until tomorrow.

DAY 18
did you have a great "day off" yesterday? Then, let's get back to work again. Today's focus is: REFLECT

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Today, just look at your day the way it presents itself to you. As soon as you feel yourself judging something, hold in for a second or two and ask yourself: "What makes me respond like this?" Our responses to things that happen around us are very often automatic responses. We react out of habit... I remember a crazy example. As a child I did not like to eat sprouts. And I took that for a fact. My reaction to sprouts was always negative. Until I was invited to have dinner with friends and sprouts were served. Of course I ate them... and... loved them. I was so surprised! We are not often in the "need" to change our minds, once we have made them up. But it is worth while to reflect from time to time whether our responses are still "for real"... "What is really happening, when I see my response as a reflection of my own thinking?" I like that question and use it a lot. So, whatever comes up today that catches your attention - good or bad reflect upon your responses. You might be surprised as well. Have fun doing some reseach! Until tomorrow.

DAY 19
very often, when we start to take a serious look at our lives, we tend to see the things that go wrong or that we do not do as well as we would clearer than what goes well. The way our society functions makes it work that way, I think. In schools we are shown what was not good and it is also not done to be proud of your achievements: Don't brag, be modest... I sincerely hope that you are one of the happy few that did grow up with a lot of positive reinforcement! Still it is good to remind ourselves of the focus for today: LOVE YOUR MISTAKES Not only offer mistakes the ultimate opportunity to

14 "learn on the job" - they also make us human in the eyes of others. Especially when you can laugh about them and accept them as something that just turned out this way, you will create a relaxed atmosphere. The others will thank you for that, because now they do not have to be afraid of their mistakes, because they know it is accepted to not doing it all right the all the time... Pfffff finally of the hook... :-) Our mistakes are a part of our learning paths. Once I wrote on the blackboard: "I am a taecher, I never make misteaks..." in an exercise to find the wrong spelling and correct it. The kids (10 years old) had so much fun to write the sentence right in their workbooks, while I had to write down the wrong version. Ah, nothing compares to a good laugh about yourself! Oh, and what if you make no mistakes today? Well, maybe that is one? Did you stretch yourself enough....? :-)

DAY 20
Yesterday we embraced mistakes as something to accept and learn from. Today let's again focus on things that we consider to be great. Today I offer you an exercise that is often used in coaching. The first time I did this myself, was a revelation to me. It takes two days to complete this exercise and I really hope you can find the time to do it. You can do it quick or with a bit more reflection, either way you'll gain. The more reflection the more clarity you will gain tomorrow. Here we go: You most certainly have people in your life that you admire very much. They can be people you know personally or people that inspire you through books, life style or ideas and ideals.

15 Pick one person that you admire very much and think about why you appreciate, admire and love this person. What is it, that (s)he offers or brings you, that you are thankful and grateful about? What is it that inspires you? What qualities do you see in him/her that add value to your life? Then take a piece of paper and write a letter to this person, explaining the above. Be sure to write exactly what it is that makes this person so special to you. Example: If someone takes your kids to school every morning, do not talk about this fact, but you might mention qualities like dedication or reliability. You get the picture, yes? Do not send the letter yet! Just write it today and then keep it in a safe place until tomorrow. There is a second part to this exercise that might surprise you! Have fun contemplating the special people in your life!

DAY 21
Did you write your letter of gratitude and appreciation yesterday? If not, I suggest you do it before you read the rest of this e-mail. The experience of doing this was such a revelation to me, I really hope you can benefit in the same or even bigger way too. If you do not have the time now, just make a note and go over those two e-mails later. And in that case, do not read any further.

Okay, I suppose you have written the letter. Wasn't it great to do? Did you see the glowing face of the receiver in your imagination? I bet you did. I know I did as I wrote my letter, especially if the letter was written to someone you know. If the person you wrote to does not live any more or if you cannot mail the letter, your writings have the same value. Now before you post it, deliver it otherwise, glue it into your diary or store it somewhere else, there is one more step to take: Write the letter for a second time: copy it. Yes, that's right, the same letter. Only with one small adjustment.

16 Instead of writing the letter to "Dear so and so" address the letter to yourself. Write Dear Felipe Torres-Duperly above the letter. And then read it... And reflect upon your reactions. Does it touch you the way it touched me? Very often we see in others the values and virtues that we ourselves have to offer. Or that we want to show a little bit more of, because we know that lives in us... I hope your face now glows :-) And that you do something with that glow that makes you happy. If you still feel like it, you can post the letter to your friend. I have attached a little template that you can print and add your own pictures or notes to. One has already pictures in it, the other one is empty. I did not give you a Word document, because I believe that in cases like this a handwritten note is much more personal - and I didn't want to tempt you to use the computer ...

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