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2. AFrtherhLoleis... 2
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. Some falheB rhink that ifonly I cd earn nore noney, own la.ger houses.
drivc biggcr cds, bly cxpcnsjvc gifts ibr my children, send lhen to more
. 85% of all childrd il Amqicawho exhibitbehavionral dlsordes cone from mrichftent classes. Fepare for their fitue education. then theywill have a
better life. As a resnlt, fathers sped increasing hous, dlys and nrnths awry
. 90% of all homeles md runaway children are ftom fatherles hones. fron t1rci. chil&cD. Inslcad, you chil&cn detellltcya\"1\ hat the gilts
. 75% ofall adolescc patients in chemicalabxse centds come lron fathedess that I ||@t, it is !.u.
. A rec@tlette.lo lhe St aitsTim€s penDcd by a fadicr rcvcalcd that one ofthe
. 70%ofjuveniles nr state-operatcd instituliols comc fiom fathcflcs hornes. reasoN why fathes bny ftwd ald blgger lnxury ca6 was for the self-esteem
. 85%ofallyoudrs sitiirg in prisons grew up in lathcrlcss lomcs. ofthcir childrcn, sho dc constaDdy comlaring wjth their classmates whose
. 80% ofralists comc fron falhcflcss homes.
fatherhad a nlcer car. This i! true because I |ea.d this again fiom uothcr
It's llme fathers ivake uI) to the emergency. One of everl t" o ki& nr Amcdca s ill mother. Where do children get such worldly materlalistic valNs? Perhaps they
havc lcart it fiom you osn dcc;iols? Yes. father lst work to prolide for
erow up withont a father aI hone. lalhe6 who stay. coxnt.
the family's curmLatrd future treed!. Therefore you should bc financially
Ema Bombeck described her childhood vies oi Dadi " L% enerer I plq,ed hause, prudcnt, not covctols or materjalislic. Pay offyonr debts fiBt. before you
hotherdollhada lot I nerer knevhat toda||rh the dadb dol,
to .lo. so I had hin incurbigger deb6.
tay, \'"1laoing off to Nork ture|| hin Mder the bed." . Brt weigh thc costs ofncglccling yolr family. Your childrer de gol.g to be
"ov'anA wiih vouonly fora few yeaN; tfiereafter. ifthey are not laught thcBiblc,you
That is sad, but trne.In a Callfomia sm'ey offolr thoNand business executives.69% lose them to Satan. $}at comfoit rvould yonrmillions ofdollars,lNlriou!
adrnitted they hadneglcctcd lbeif fan'ljcs to plFuc pfofc$ional goah, and half property and slots car offef ilyour teeDagc dalLgltcr Co1!rcgnd1 or caught
confesed that they wotrld spend les Lifre worknrg andmore iime wiLh thei. wivcs for con$hlng E s/a'yl What sood would your realtfi do s,hcD your childrctr
and children if thcy conld do it ove. again. Men are panicnlarly nlndable ' geiling are rushhg headlo.g irlo heu, dd yon did nothing to stot theft.
calght nr dre job tra!. The fiister up tbe corporatc laddcr thcy climb, thc nrorc . Ycs, wo* is lcce$ary. biblical dd imponmt. The Christlan fatber does his
imr'orLanl they feel. the Dore they necd to lec! longcr hous a1 work. Sonrc ncglcd lvork to thebe$ olhis ability ard to thc glory ofCod. Blt in ordcr for lhe
their wlves and children to the polnt ofruin. father to be effectile at work, he nust be fr1 for ihe job, have a sense of
Hones aie breaking doM today because latl€F are too busy with wo ( and hobbics slcccss in it. andmusllotdotoo mlch oflt. Therefore yonr choice ofwork is
io spe.d time wlth their lives and childre!. Christian lalhe$ are "too busy- ro teach
irntortant norer negleot your faDily.
thcir children the word ofGod, ard fallto disciple them for lifc ln Christ. Don't think 2) Bxsed on Codmitd€rt
that Mathcw 28 isjust Chdst s comand to missiondies to'teach thcn to obsetre all
Dph 5:25 "Llrsbahlls, lot rott ti'es, eren Christ bwd the.harch, and ame
$lngs I have cotunanded yor.' Tea.ling and disciplcship begnrs dr homc. [ailuc ^
to do so led lo severe conseqnences. . Lovc is bascd on sacrificial commitmert, a giving ol oreself, not exlecling
ln 1994, Josh McDowell did a suwey of3,700 American church klds lhal revealed dnytbrng iD retum.
thejrmc sliri1ual statc.Injustfic last 90 days bcforo thc $ney: . PsI03:13 Likc as a fa$cr piticth His childron. so the Lord pitielh them that
. 66% lied toa pddt,leacher or chlldj tear Hlm." lsfuel rebelled against God couDtlcs 1imcs, ud yct cod thcir
. Heavenly lather was rr,// .,u zir?z/ to rhe colenanr He had agreed with thei.
55% had ergaged in imnoral sexual behaviour befoLc lhey tufr elghteen:
. 36% chealed o! an exanj latridch Abrahm.
. 20% intnriorally triedlophysically hudsonconc:
. Comminnent requires dme. Yonr children need you lo!e. wisdom. concem
. od discillinc. TIey need yonr time. Children who do nol hale time they
12%hldgoltcn drunkj
lced wilh their falbcf will bcconc rcscldn]. ard find (wrong) ways to attract
. E% uscdillceal druss;
. 65% oflhcsckids say they pny daily. . You say.l donl havc timc.I n too busy. Yourjob dcndds long hous;
. E4%goto chnrch ddyouth grolp weekly. receslion heans more work at lowcrpay. lfyoudon thavc time to teach yonr
chlldren. others will. The drus rusher $ ill be glad to slcndtimc {.ilh yolr
Those arc tclling statistics. Tlcy loint to scriols fiilucs of Chrisrian pa cnts in children dd teach hin or her how to lake 6.i/a.y or i€roD. The televisior
lpi.ltual nudurc ofchildrcn. fathers, do you lore your fanilt? dd irtemerwillbe switched or ?4/7Io educale and entenaln yodchild.en Lo
haDker afterichcs, glamour ud succcs, gct addicted to lhe most exciting,
Thc Biblclclls us !Fatber\Love is:
viole sexually crllicit vidco gamcs. offilllhciminds with waryed filth
1) Not itrstbrinsins homc thc Bacon. froft potuogralhic websites. The tacdophilc {,i11 bc morc tlim haply to takc
dre Lide Lo care for yo!tr clild in ordcr to hrc lim or hcr into u illicit
3) g9!q!:!si!41t9!Lqh4 i\-Ei!!bg$. (Eph s:26) B] now, you rrdy feel God's standard for fathers ls ioo hlgh and nnattainable. Yon
. Some faihe6' daily corversation with Lte childis hnlt dta:'HNerou feel lnadeqDate. Yotr wmt to gile !p rather thm try
thafs what Satu wants you to
Jihis hed loa / hatuero /k? do. lathes, God is not looki.g for haincd lcacheF to iDstruct your chil&en. Il9
. fathe6. your daily talk with yolr children Nill shape thei walk for life. mosi inportant qMllfication God seeks is a htrnble dd confite heart that looks io
. Chdsfs love for the church was expressed by His \lbrd gllen to nourish and Hin for risdom ud Sxiduce. Inadequacy is the best tbing for Iathersi because
chensh $uild!s up), md sdctify ard clcanscus f.om ou stus (Iph 5:26). tlrey will $'lrolly 1rust tu Cod. Ia oul iaadequacies, God detnaanraa His sulfrtid.,
. Fathers nust likewise sleak words oflove to iheir fanilies to build drem!p i! (2 Corl:5).
ile faith. "My son" ls repealed in Proverbs as Solomon inshrred his sons in
thcwayofwisdom. God'stru1h is first lcamt athome.It is soberine thal a Rcmcmbcr, nr a Christian homq sinners lire there. Christlan Frents nusitlead rhe
child's finL inpresions ofGodwillcone fron parents. What dn awelome blood of Chnst dajly for forgilenes of their osn slns. and the sins of thei childrer
rcsponsibiliry fo. pmntsl fathm de to iNtruct dd maint i! loving That is lny fMily devotion h so impofanl - a slccial timc rvhen family mcDbers
annosphcro inlhcihomcs. CIU;tia. homcs oughttobc aslicc ofhcaven or uilc bcforc Codt throne to p.ay. worship. and slrtugthen one anoder. When ou
children see olr close relationship with a livlng, true md AlmiShty Cod *ho hca$
and answeB praye6, is forsivins. lovine, mcrcitul, gFcious, kind ald
,l) Proridine Spiritual Leaders}ip rthope. compa$ional€, then theywill al$ leam to walkwilh God all thelr lives. Bntiflbey
. Abraham was commcndcd by Cod for lis lcadorshi! at hotre in .anhanLlitlg see that we are hyiocrites at home, and Ne pnt or msks in church, thcr ficy s ill
his children andlousehold 10 keep the af the Lor.1.' ' (Gcr I E:19) fathcrs leam to despise the fl.ith.
cu lead by.egularly teaching the word '/a!
ofcod. When falhers are not
available. notheB can lead. O. Talnadge Spence recounted an lncident that halpened $ hd he was five. He stole
. Not jlst words. for you actions sFak loMer than lvords. Let you walk be his sistelstwo dines. bought some sweets and covered it np by lying to his pderts.
consistent with your talk. Prov20:7 Thejust man walkelh iD lis i.teerily: A year later, his grandnother lost a qlafter. His fathcr ivas convinccd that TalDadge
his chlldren are blessed afler hin." had done it. Talmadgc wasjlstifiably upset. The folloring monring. his falfier
. Childrfl copy what thcif fathcrs say ud do. lf yolr disrcslcc1 youf wifc, yolr awokc hin, and said, Get out ofbed, Talmadge; se nnlt pny. I have decided you
chlldiet wlll pick thdl up lery quickly and rebol dgainsi thoir motbef. i Pet i:7 did nol take yoltt grardnolhel s qnarter. Talmadge, I want you to forgive me because
telhN ifyo! honour you wife ard are sensillve rowards her. nol only lill I have wronged yotr. And rve nust pmy abolt it. Will you forgive tnc? ' Of co!6c hc
your children lem abont godly mmiage relationship. bnt aho yonr prayers did. Soh's fathcr pEycd io Cod about lis confcssion. about God's forgiveness. ofhis
will not bo hiDdcred. loyc for his son. He then askedTalnadge topny. And he did hesitantly, "God, we are
. lfyoulc toachinC yolr tcoMge childfen puriry, blr you de ogling at girls glad tlrat Daddy gol slraight aboul the qnarte., for I did not take the qnaner." HoNevcf
whlle youle driyirg. o. sufing intemel !on! then your childrcn rvill follow tis hearL boke and he wept, "And God ... God... forgile ne for taking my sisieis
you aclions. Yourchlld.en areobsennrg you closely at dlltimes, whettcr ts'o dimes. Amm." Upon enquiry, he confesed to his i:tborofhis cdlid tlcft that
you de aNare of it or not. Thde was once r lady waiting a1 a stret juncLion ]r.d toubled his conscience, and his fatlcr told lin
all was fo.given. and noi 1o do
dresscd so skimli]y you know she is sceking to dmw attcrtion to her body. things likc thal again. dnd they ernbraced. Talhadge sald of fiaI day 'Y .an /,rt
sdt
Steve F.uru wd riir his 16-ycd old son, JohD, in a car tliat stoplcd at lhlt that I ||as contcioat ofa deq.r lore fot nrfalh.t ahd lron n! lathet h! these
junclion. Aftd that junction, John askcd lis fathcr,'Dad -r"u he,er look." inctulents we ha,l tog.th.t."
'Look dl whatl' lio,,erel /rol ar wouer. [oF do you knowl teldre 1
(adapted fionr,4,nd5 tu Zn,e Ali I" F,IE.J br Re{.Charlcs Scoli r,Lheting Lile ke liaLh.t I
vdtrh you a1l the tine. I w vatched rau tince t ||at d little bq. I wtched Kenneth&.reffrelGange1,r,i/rr€zdodl'ton.blWoodrosKlollir,.rorn:/d,bySrcv!Imd:
lotu oh anpldhes,I're rutthe.l lou in re\taunnts. I re ||dtrhed lol at the /)eet, .,r.& ,,,r ,eer. O l x Imadge Sr h.e)
bedch, an.lI1No\.h..l lou backthe/e dr thej|n.lioh. And I h
pu laok Not on.e. And I $ut.h lor cohstantl!."'Wcll, John,Isawthat WHY Familr Derotio.?
wonan. dnd so did you. Butyou have to naiD youNclf 10 look away
lnnedlarely *fid you see someono likethat.' r&a/ r yhdt I neda, Ddd, lou ''Eeads ofhouseholds. we hust ibplenentfanil! wotshh in the hohe God
t+i.,i,;/n?
b...' )qr ''1:
rcqunes that w. torship Hitu not onl!ptitulel! 6 ihdirltluals, brt ptubU.]! 6
nehbels of the cavena,t bo4, dkd cahhuni', ahd sr:jaLlra:b&Uer The Lot.l . God hean dd mswere p[yet. 'Men o,sht abq\ to pt-q, ond no1 b Jaint' lLtkc
.lesut is \|orthr ofit, Gad s Word conqaads it, atul tonscieru afirmt it as our l3:l).
d4i. " JoelBeeke. . Childien love lohedtbeiDadpmy for theft: they see the loveofclrisl in
Fathers have a reslonsibjhy to bnng up cfiildrtu in the nmure and adnonition of the . SeekGod\ blesi.gs for the family, for fte chnrch, for Iovedones, andtheir
LORD (Eph 6:4). Rmember you vows to God when yo! brought your infart for close fiiends who arc outsidc Christ. For older kids, enconrage them to pray
bafiism. You prcnised to God lou ti bnng up tour childrq in the turture and to God tbmselves foi theirneeds and for their msaved liiends.
adnonition of the Lotl, an.l prur lot then, s.ekins to lead them to Christ, Alk
B. Advicel
founeL hat. t ou .Ioae th.s. thiftgs?
Beeke outliled ofChristidn famlly devodon:
3 elemeDls
L Keep it short & informal:(not Suday worship)
. Rea,l & T.a.h Go.I's Wod: daily teachhg ftom the Blble, activities h the
.10 15 mins per day (oras ofte. as yon can) belterthan 3 honrs/north.
1
day or night, at home or outside (Dcu1 6:6-8, I I : i 6- 19; Eph 6:4 hvhtre =
. Ttoir !l,ild.n ro lo\c Cod. nor drcad uohh'p.
. L.r lanirworship be short, seaury, sinple, tender, hearekl!. Ri.ha,dce.i|.
2. Prat to Go,l: Which famllies donlsi.daily? (l h l:9) WIich families don't 2.
have problems? All tumilics mlst look to God for gracc !o help. Thotus . Quieten youBelf before God; spend tine with your fanily and drildren.
Brooks said, 't4 /A-tU vtd"zr prurcr t like d horce vithaut d rcal apen and
spased to all the so.rs .l haw,.' 3.
3. Sing Pruises: praise md thank Cod for daily blcsings. Isalnist Ps 66: I '21 . Tnm offthe TVi leave phore ofl; pnt away toys.
comands iitlat" ajortl na;s e unto God all le ldnds: Si"E fatlh the honan aJ his . No children should leave dnrlng fanlly woship.
ndne: ndke his pt ais. gloriors.' . Rcquire attcntion: ",tt llr son, .|an I slou.h! Loak dt ne ||h.n I ah ldlki]ig to !o".
We re talkike about Go.l\ tt'.n !, .n 1 Gad .laelaet to be hedr.l. Beeka
T.aillng of chlldren involves
. daily readinC ofSriptlres dd relnforcing biblicalhnths at alltimes:shen
Varr' iti make it interestilg:
yo! sil dosr for neal of dcvolion, or whcn you bdrg thcm io school/pa& or . Vary mout of timc spc on Biblereadirg, sirging, praying, etc;
bedtime stories and prayer (Dout 6 r6-8)t . On Suday aftemoors, watch a Christian D\D (see listofsome DVDS in
. daily oonection ofbadtabits, forsakirgsilrs; and libdry @ bacli ofbooklet) thcD dis@$ thcissucs, cxamplcs, ddbiblical
. dailyreinforccmoDt of Coodhabits. clltivationof virtucs.
. Assic! chalte6/books io read: ask thcm sia.c onc thing thcy haac lcmt.
HOW to conduct flnilv de\otiot? tadaDted fian chdrtes scet s . Doh\ prd! the satne Fdles elptr.!d!:.Ln\ tutne:to.:kphtlte\;enphdrie
.ti|l*eht dlributes af ca.t.a.h.|ar oeeke) ^e
A. lraciical Considerationsl 5. EYeryooe does something:
L Place: comforlablo sofa. study room, or dining tablc. . Eg. Prayer tlne - dsiSn itens io each nenber ofthe faDrily.
2. Time: (ycs, ivc arc all busyl lind timc fof your family)cg. bcdtimc or aftcr diNrcr.
. Ask qdestions to chect 1fieir undeGtandingj encourase ihem to ask quesrions
md sharc lioi! thcy fcol abolt God, about church ard S!.day School.
3. Leader: Fafierornother. . Ifsomeo.e cd play the tlano or guitar, encounge hnn to accoDpany singing.
4. Start sith a Sorg: cloose songs Lfidt cfiildren @joy or are farnillar*lth.
5. Read Bible Pasrge ab), /'//rsrj . Loving. wam, peBonal tone. Mt fdthet qeh sdid ta rt. dth teatt: Chilrlrcn.t
. Teenaccls: Bible versesj Westninster CoDfession/Shorter Catechisml ..nhot tuns dn.r oJ t u in he@e,. Tell you children: ",r? {iI allot tou ?rerr
pririle,re an o?.n Bihle rilldllov as to iw laltsbut ifve sal no N6l
. Primarv School childrm: daily readirg guidei Jim Cronarty. ABook for
tnow thdt ltovs o,t ofour tara.
ta tnu, roa
Family Woship. A Book of fmily Readirg, voh. I 3. . Precise in dochnre: relevant i! apllioation.
. Preicbool children: booklet "QnestioN and An$ve6 on Etmal Life"
. Yott children lore ta hedrstorles aftheit pdreaLr Sha.e an iDcident relcvanl 7. UseQ&Asometimcs:
lo the portion ofcod'sWord. eg. lhen Godwasiealtoyoq helpedyon or .
IC. thc booklct 'Questions and Ansrds or Eremal life'j Short* Catechism
uswered yonr prayer. Even $ten yon slnned and how God chdtised yotr. Q&A
They need to see that yo! ae also a simoriGod is mcrcitul ud lbrgiles. Or . McmorizatioD: review Scriptlre verses togetherj order of OT & NT Books,
use cxanllcs fiom ncicslapcF, olhd Biblc pdsagcs. biographics you havc Ten Comnardmcnts, Thc Lo.d s Praycr. h 3:16, Ps 23.
8. Folorv thcncs: aa'eie)
with
"Fathers. p.oloke not you. childreD to {,nfi: but trdDg thcm up i, thc nurtxrc dd
adnonition ofthe Lord.i'Elh 6:4
\\'hy did Pa!r] addrcss thc iatbcs? Aftc. all, do!'t motheN lsually sped the most
fine rith tfie children? The.e are at least 2 reasoDs: Falhcs havc a larticuld problcm
siih *.atfi: and more imlortdntly, whcDCod
the issue ol'provoking childrer to
speaks to fathen, he ls Weaking also tothenothers. Because $hat thenrolfiers do.
the fatheB tue respoNible. God had vested the atrihori{' for discilllne to fathers. The
father is the head ofthe home. The father ls trhlnately accountablelo God for whai
liappcDs in thc home. I! one of ihe qnalificalions of elde6. Panl says we de to look
out lor a good husband a.d th$cr. If hc cmot exet Christid leadership d head of
his horne. hewillnotbe ablelo rul€well ir church Cood lcadcNhip in thc lione
consists ofbaraging one\ o r household*ell, keepingone's clildren u cr conhol
with all dlgnlty(1 Tim 3:4'5). The Greek word for "role" neans "nanage." The
5. Ralarce rlisciplire flith ptuhe atd rcM l..tihcnyov child docs somcthing dght, Love yonr kjds; dlsciplire yonr kids.
lraisehin. Re{,ard !p!ro!ria1oly. Studies have shown tfiat children *ith severe (dta.l! toh Jtr l.lant
lcanilg disabilitics showcd rcmarlGblc impovcmcnt whcn consistcntly lraised by 'Christnn Liing in tha Hone ; Stae Fate, ,lnchat Mdh")
'|:a ,
tr::.; nlt,lt.l,r') lr'"
RESOT]RCES
. Creanon !s Evolunon
A!r9r&&!E!sE!
. Fmil! torship. loel Beeke
. Chrittitlh Lhtih! ,1 the lbhe, la! Adams
. Fdtheins Like tha Father, Kenneth & Jefiey Gangel
. EuillinC a Gadly Hama. \\oothos Ktoll
. Anchor Md, SrqeFnt