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YAP

Good morning to everyone, welcome to first one station forum. I am Mr. yap the chairman of this forum. Today we will discuss about same sex marriage. According to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, the definition of same-sex or homosexual marriage is a same sex marriage can be define as the ceremony that involving two people who are same sex. Same sex marriage had become the most significant issue in contemporary American family law and were decriminalized in some parts of the Western world, such as Poland, Denmark, Sweden and United Kingdom. So, is the same sex marriage should be legal? Today, we have our welcoming guest, Madam Khalijah Department counselor Islam, She is one of the counselor for this same sex marriage issues. She will try to discuss and give some of advising and tips for control or prevent the same sex marriage., Dr. Dorry, from USA and Professor Felix from IPDA. First of all, we have our welcoming guest, Dr. Dorry, from USA. He is one of the counselor for this same sex marriage issues. In the past time, he was the former ex-gay that had been married. But now, he is already quitting from being gay and become famous counselor. Good morning, Dr. Dorry.

yandi: YAP yandi

Good morning. Dr. Dorry, can you tell us the reason why you became a gay in the first place? There are many reasons that I become a gay. First, my family background. In my past time, I had unforgetable experience. Since I was a kid, I had been raped by my own father. At that day, all of my family were going out except my father and I. When my father came back home, he was in drunk. Suddenly, he entered my room and raped me at that time. After that incident, my personality and behaviour changed. I suddenly attracted towards men and dislike women. Everytime I feel want to have a sex, I just tell my friend that also a gay to sex with me. Next, the environment. In my country, the same sex marriage like a tradition. Everyone can marry a person with the same gender with she or he because they have a power to choose what they like. So, I cannot escape from that tradition. At age 21, I already marriage with my gay friend that I knew him since I was a kid. Early, everything was find, but in the end I finally realise what i have done is wrong. So, i made my mind to runaway from my gay wife and started to search a new life. I dont realized that family background also the cause for you to become a gay. Gratefully, you have aware from that dilemma.

YAP

Afiqah Dr. Dorry (yandi)

Chin Fee Dr. Dorry (yandi)

YAP

When you marriage with the gay person, do you consider to have your own child? At the first time, i dont think that having a child can make my life happy. I just think that i can make a family with my gay wife. But, after I saw other people that marriage normally and have a child, i feel jealous. It is because they can laugh together and play together. Different from me, i just can laugh with my gay wife and feel bored because only that face i see every day in my family. Once, my gay wife give suggestion to adopt a child. But I refuse because i just want my own child that come with my own gen. What is your advice to the people who gay or lesbian and want to marry with same gender? The only advice that i can give is, you can force yourself to lead an unsatisfying existence by conforming to the wishes of other people and suppressing your natural desires. But why should you have to throw away the gift of sexuality and the majesty of life because of intolerance? Be true to yourself and learn to accept who you are. You are a beautiful person, and dont let anyone convince you otherwise. And, if you need help with self-acceptance or support after a spouse comes out, Im always here for you with a large support network that will help you and your couple. Ok, as we know, this problem is very pervasive. Professor Felix, what do you think about the causes of the same sex marriage?

Professor Felix (Chin Fee)

yandi: Chin Fee

There is many causes let to same sex marriage. One of the main causes is dysfunctional family life. In the book, Same Sex Attraction: A Parents Guide, Father John Harvey mention that ones mother is ones fundamental basis of feeling safe in relationships; denying a child of its mother wounds the childs ability to trust and have faith in world, which can lead to anxiety and attachment disorders. This is why same sex marriages adoption can be devastating on society, because of their effect on children. Not all adults have the inherent to have a child, but all children have a right to a mother and a father. Professor Felix, what is the other causes which let to same sex marriage? Distrust of the opposite sex is the second most common cause of same sex marriage in men and the most common cause in women. In men, feelings of mistrust may develop as a result of a difficult mother relationship or from experiences of betrayal by women. Male children in fatherless homes often feel overly responsible for their mothers. As they enter their adolescence, they may come to view female love as draining or exhausting. They want a relationship that is lighthearted and enjoyable and, by default, turn to male love. In females, women who have been betrayed in love relationships may also seek safety in a relationship with a woman. Women who are sexually abused or raped as children may find it almost impossible to trust men and turn to a woman instead for affection. Professor Felix, do you have anything else to say? Yes, the last causes I want mention is the weak masculine or feminine identity.

Afiqah Professor

Felix (Chin Fee)

yap

Weak masculine identity is easily identified and, is the major cause of same sex marriage in men. Surprisingly, it can be an outgrowth of weak eye-hand coordination which results in an inability to play sports well. In a culture dominated by sports heroes, its easy to understand how a young boy who cant play ball or run fast may not feel very good about himself, especially when this is accompanied by ridicule from his peers and perhaps even exclusion and isolation. He may escape the resulting loneliness with academics or by cultivating comfortable relationships with girls. Thanks,Professor Felix. What effect towards the SAME sex marriage? Can Madam Khalijah explain to us?

Madam khalijah (Afiqah)

YAP

Thank you for the question Mr. Yap. The effects of same sex marriage. One of the effects is violates natural law. Marriage is not just any relationship between human beings. It is a relationship rooted in human nature and thus governed by natural law. Moreover, Natural laws most elementary precept is that good is to be done and pursued, and evil is to be avoided. Man can perceive what is morally good or bad for him. Thus, he can know the end or purpose of each of his acts and how it is morally wrong to transform the means that help him accomplish an act into the acts purpose. owhhhh.. really? Okay so, marriage is not just any relationship between human beings. Thank you madam khalijah.

Chin Fee Madam khalijah (Afiqah)

I am sorry, may I know what other effect of the same sex marriage? Other effect is it always denies a child either a father or a mother. It is in the childs best interests that he be raised under the influence of his natural father and mother. A child from same-sex marriages family will always be deprived of either his natural mother or father. He will always be deprived of either a mother or a father role model. Same-sex marriage ignores a childs best interests. I have heard that some a state in the US has enacted a law that allows gay marriages. What is your comment on this? Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah's Sake, meet your expectations. Gay marriage is totally prohibited in Islam as well as in all the divine religions. Gay marriage is an atrocious and obscene act which belongs to unsound nature. Islam teaches that believers should neither do the obscene acts nor in any way indulge in their propagation. Allah says, "Those who love (to see) obscenity published broadcast among the Believers will have a grievous Penalty in this life and in the Hereafter: Allah knows, and you know not." (AnNur: 19)

YAP Madam khalijah (Afiqah)

Chin Fee (Afiqah) YAP Madam khalijah (Afiqah)

yandi: Madam khalijah (Afiqah) YAP Madam khalijah (Afiqah)

What is the way to solve this problem? In Islam may have its own way so, may I know how? First you the person who had been in this situation must Do towbah thats repent sincerely to Allah and turn to Him. owhh I see, thats was the great solution, other than that, what we can we do, besides turn to GOD? yes, that is, the people who gay or lesbian have stay away from the company of evil people or friends who glamorize and glorify those deeds and things that are sinful and make them appeal to you. Therefore, choose for yourself the company of righteous people who will be of help and benefit to you in the matters of your Deen (Religion) and your dunya (worldly affairs). This way will help them from not stuck again in this issue so, how to overcome or prevent this case? Turn yourself and your gaze away from all those things that arouse the passions, like looking at and staying in the company of beardless, young lads or even pictures of them of which films, magazines, etc are brimming. what the conclusion can u make it? Conclusion about this case Allah tells us in the Quran that He created everything in pairs. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says, And all things We have created by pairs, that haply ye may reflect (Az-Zariyat: 49). For sure, the pairs referred to in the above verse are of different kinds, not of the same kind.I feel that Allah will never let such an act go without punishment. We have an example of the people of Lut who were deeply involved in such immoral acts and were destroyed by Allah.so we dont want that happened again. So I hope Dr Dowrry will become a good person. insha Allah madam. Thanks because to give me support and I will try my best to be a good person. i Have the experience that was very-very hurt me people look me down. So i keep to change my style back to the normal. I become a real man. In a conclusion, the same sex couple illegal to marry base on certain issues. The same sex couple who want to marry should think twice before carry on that decision. They should consider what will the people around think about them and their family will feel ashamed what they have done. For themselves, they cannot born a child because they have same reproductive system. Therefore, same sex marriage should not be legal.

Dr. Dorry (yandi):

YAP

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