The first page is still an outline.

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Failed
How: Provincial “Contest” or Championship of some type
Mom took me to practices (a load for her)
Had a special dress with ponies on it (an expense for mom that was hard to afford)
Big lead up to the night
Sang a song with another little girl entitled “Polly the Pony”. I believe that there was at
least on other contest that we had won and moved on to the main one.
My mom believed that I could be ‘discovered’ as the new Shirley Temple (my heroine)
and had high hopes for me. Felt I could be a singing sensation.
Mom thought if we won we could go on, and I could win and as a result, then take voice
training lessons that the family could not afford for me.
The big day came and I recall being dressed in my cute outfit.
I recall being on this huge stage with another little girl and a very big audience.
I froze and could not sing. The other little girl sang along alone.
We did not win.

Mother never let me forget it. I was chastised many times. I was told I missed my chance,
the lost opportunity would never be recovered, and all the effort was for naught.
I was filled with regret. I failed my mother and my teacher; I failed myself for not singing
and opening up a bright new future.

This sense of failure haunted my throughout my life. After an IQ test in Grade 5 or 6, my

parents were informed by the school that I had a genius level IQ of around 135. The
school authorities called us in and told both my parents in my presence that this was
proof I should be able to excel in school and that I only needed to apply myself to be an
honors student. My mother tended to badger me about this test. This only seemed to
exacerbate the continued sense of failure, not living up to the expectations of those
around me, those I loved and wanted to impress. Instead of feeling pride in this reported
intelligence, I was shamed by these results. I felt pressure and the fear of failure loomed
again.

As I grew older, I lost interest in school and I thought too that I had lost interest in
learning, as I was equating learning with school, a place I was not happy to be. How
wrong I was! The day I left school was the day my real life learning began in earnest!

As I moved from my chaotic childhood home, leaving the province and moving far away
to Ontario at an early age, I learned to take care of myself, and that meant a better job.
When my company, the SS Kresge Co. offered to send me to school to improve my
accounting skills, I jumped at the chance and I did very well, finishing with Business
Administration from Ryerson University in Toronto. Finally, I realized that the most
effective learning came from “life studies”, studying that which had true meaning and an
immediate effect on my day to day life.

All my life, Polly the Pony was synonymous with a failed attempt.
Polly rides into my life in Stanstead

I met Brenda through the sale of fireplace fan that we no longer needed. Her husband was
very friendly as he came by to claim the fireplace fan for his family, inviting us to visit
their horse farm and to meet his family. Michael filled me in on his life, his seven years
as a town councilor and on the medical woes of his wife Brenda. Brenda was a
determined woman whose heart was as big as the horses that she cared for and loved so
much. With three small children and a barn full of animals, Brenda managed quite a load
every day!

One sunny but cold Saturday at the end of November, 2008 we headed out to meet the
Tilton family. Both husband and wife were in the barn tending to the animals when we
arrived, and they showed us through the barn with the pride of ownership, telling us the
story of each animal that they introduced. Cats and billy goats completed the scene, as the
dogs in the house seemed to bark for their attention, too! I was enthralled with the grand
entrance of the “Billy goat gruff”, most comical animal, with the beard almost down to
the ground and an attitude of total dominion over the barnyard!

Brenda and Michael told us the story of each animal in the barn, and their pride glowed
on their faces. Brenda rescues horses from dire circumstances from owners no longer able
to care for their horses for a variety of reasons.

Brenda introduced us to Tye, a large white stallion. Although Tye was large, he is reliably
gentle and kind, a horse you can trust with children. Tye had the interesting habit of
bowing to people when he was pulled to the right. I promised Brenda I would take steps
to find out about this curious habit through my connection to his Autonomic Control
System (ACS). I needed to be quiet and focus on the answers.

Brenda showed us a very large brown mare with arthritis, the poor horse in constant pain.
The horse had lain down in the barn while in a larger stall, several months ago, become
cast into a corner and was unable to roll over to get back on her feet in the confined
space. The vet gave the horse 1 hour to get up or the horse would have to be destroyed.
Brenda explained that is due to the fact the intestines of the horse become flipped inside
out and cannot be corrected if too much time lapses. Brenda was fearful of this occurring
and even though she was in pain at having to resort to such desperate measures, she
whipped her until the horse managed to struggle to her feet and save her own life. I could
see the pain in Brenda’s eyes and I knew she was still suffering guilt about whipping this
horse. Brenda was determined to prevent this from ever happening again and now put the
horse in a very small stall that she could no longer lie down in to sleep.

My heart went out to this horse, and I felt compelled to help, but stayed silent. The
temptation to help all comers is great, yet I need to find jobs that paid and this family is
strapped for cash and heavily burdened. I felt that if I was to help anyone, I really should
be helping Brenda, her load is so heavy.
When we returned home, I thought about the animals at the farm. I got cozy in bed and
took out my pendulum, connecting to the horse Tye to tap into his ACS and find out
about this curious habit of his. I went through all my conscious ideas about Tye, that he
was fearful, anxious, suffered abuse in his past therefore trying to appease people, but no
was the answer to all these questions. Then without questions in my mind, I listened for
answers. Tye is an ambassador of a type, a great horse of wisdom, and had come to be
with Brenda the lover of horses. The future will unfold and give us our answers about
Tye, the ambassador horse!

While testing for information about Tye, I started to feel compelled to help the arthritic
horse. The thought of her in constant pain in the barn drew my attention. She was on my
mind. This would be the first horse “client”, although not my first animal, and a big
challenge to me. I was going to offer my services, pro bono. I rolled my eyes, it was so
easy to find work done for free, but the bills needed to be paid and my Cuban project was
desperately in need of funding. Still, I was confident that the horse would respond to
NMT in a rapid and effective manner, similar to the many other animals I had helped to
heal with NMT.

The next day, I called Brenda to share the information I had gleaned about Tye. I was
nervous at first, but I felt that she would be open to the concepts that I was about to share
with her. And indeed she was! Then, I offered to help the arthritic horse. Brenda was
excited about the decision and open to the idea. I asked about the horse’s name and when
she told me, a shock like a lightening bolt coursed through my body. I asked her to repeat
the name, and sure enough, I had heard correctly. I recall the incident clearly. I was
talking to Brenda on my headset while I did chores around the home, and I had my hands
in the fireplace when she told me, I almost fell into the fire… The horse’s name was
Polly. Polly, the pony. Not a name often heard, but a name that immediately brought up
my childhood challenges, the fear, the failure. I let Brenda know that I was “freaking out”
and that I needed some time to let this sink in before I could tell her why. I recalled the
only the first stanza of the song and sang it to Brenda…

Polly the pony is lazy and old

Hates to go out in the rain and the cold
Tail is bedraggled and ears are a flop
Walking so slowly I fear she will stop
Clippity Clippity Clippity Clop

Brenda chuckled and remarked “ Sounds just like Polly!” Her words deepened my shock
reaction to the extraordinary situation, and I hurried off the phone and into the kitchen to
tell Murray all that had transpired. Murray understood, as I had already shared the pangs
disappointment of a little girl who had grown up, but still couldn’t shake the pain of not
singing at the right time and living with this shadow from the past. I had always felt I had
missed the big brass ring in my life, that my ship has come in, a phrase my mom often
used, and I had ruined my chance at fame and fortune. I wondered, as I wrestled with my
feelings about this sudden turn of events, if this was my chance to heal the sorrow that
arose when I hummed this tune to myself. I knew that in my heart of hearts, that Polly
could heal with NMT yet this fear engendered doubt about my abilities, doubt that had
plagued me my entire life.

Brenda and I had agreed that I would make my first visit to Polly on December 16, 2008.

That night (November 26, 2008) I began searching the internet and firing out email to
search out the next stanza of this song, Polly the Pony. This search proved fruitless a few
days later, so I tried anther tactic and called the library answer line in the City of Toronto,
a great service that always seems to come through with the right answer. This time was
no exception! They found the song in its entirety, a song written in 1935

Polly the pony is lazy and old

Hates to go out in the rain and the cold
Tail is bedraggled and ears are a flop
Walking so slowly I fear she will stop
Clippity Clippity Clippity Clop

Turn her about and a change you will see

Polly is lively and young as can be
No need to coax her or use the whip
Homeward she goes with a zoom and a zip

Clippity Clippity Clippity Clip

1935 New York Song Book Collection

Hollins-Dann Song Series

This song proved to be the truest song for this situation, uncannily so!

The same day, I spoke to my daughter who was traveling in the USA for business, and
she told me about Thumbelina, the miniature horse, the smallest horse in the world. The
horse stood only 17.5 inches! She was owned by the Goessling family at Goose Creek
Farm. These folks had established a foundation that funnels donations to children’s
charities. Thumbelina travels the country, and is a star attraction at the fundraising events.
How inspiring! I was surprised that this came up on the day I sought out the Polly the
Pony song!

The 16th was bitterly cold day, Murray and I set out undaunted. I had all my tools and I
was ready to take on the challenge of Polly the pony, now a very large and ill horse! The
short drive to Benda’s home was easily done the second time around, and we met her in
the barn. Brenda tied Polly into the barn so we could all enjoy some respite from the cold.
I set up my “office” on a bale of hay and used a collapsible table to make my notes and
hold my NMT manuals. This was a first for me, but I was delighted to be in the barn with
Polly.
Brenda shared Polly’s history with us. The people who had owned her before she came
to this barn had decided to put her to sleep, as they were moving back to Switzerland and
no one wanted a lame breeding mare. Brenda heard about Polly and went to a great deal
of trouble to bring her home. “Something” drew her to Polly. There had been some type
of trauma befall Polly and the event left her lame in her left hip. Brenda grew up with
horses, and knows them well. She could tell Polly was in pain from the way she moved
and held herself. Polly rocked from one foot to the other in an attempt to deal with her
pain. She hated to leave the comfort of the barn especially in cold, damp weather. When
walking outside, she picked her way along, stepping carefully. Polly was stiff in the
morning and in the cold. I noted that her nose was dripping quite a lot of yellow mucus,
and Brenda confirmed that Polly usually had an accumulation of mucous on the floor of
her stall in the morning. This was confirming for me, as in NMT we are aware that
infection was a main cause of arthritis, and this mucous indicated infection.

Brenda remarked that she felt that Polly was not able to see well anymore, and I
wondered if the infection was working its way into her eyes and affecting her sight.

I started our session, and realized that Polly’s energy was very low, 20% out of 100%
100% being optimal. The first pathway to come up was indeed the infectious agent
pathway. I was directed by her ACS to find the emotions connected to the infection, as
always! She felt anger and loss; she was eating to push down her pain and was suffering
low self esteem. Polly carried fear causing her to feel not at all safe here on Earth. Brenda
shared the Polly had been separated from her colt when the family returned to
Switzerland, and she felt Polly was missing her offspring. We focused on clearing this
abuse and trauma, and as we did so Polly drowsed on her feet, fighting to keep her eyes
open. I laughed and told Brenda about a small dog I worked on years ago. The dog slept
for three hours after the session and could not be shaken awake, but was fine afterward

Polly licked her lips almost constantly, and Brenda informed me that this meant that the
horse trusted me and was relaxed. I watched Polly’s lips tremble, and asked Brenda about
the meaning; she let me know this was another sign that the horse was relaxed. Brenda
was amazed that Polly could be just that relaxed in the session, as Polly was an uptight
horse, on high alert for incoming danger, being the leader of her group. I shared with her
that I had seen many clients doze off or relax profoundly to the point of drooling in their
NMT sessions.

As the session drew to a close, the sun was setting and it was time to bring the rest of the
horses into the barn. I gave Polly a big hug around her neck and Brenda decided to place
the horse back in her standing room only stall before the rest came in. This felt right to
me. As we headed to the car, Brenda came along telling us that Polly was most likely
pregnant! I asked about a lone horse that has come as close to our car as it could get, right
up to the fence. That horse was named Wild, a stallion that was in fact the father to
Polly’s possible baby! I felt as though Wild was seeking my attention as well, letting me
know he was connected to Polly and perhaps thanking me.
I sat in our house, and used my pendulum to check in on Polly that next day, at Murray’s
urgings. Murray had become engrossed in Polly’s healing now having attended the
session. I found that Polly was still not feeling safe on Earth, and I had the sense that she
felt exposed when outside, and rather vulnerable. I felt something mechanical had struck
her, but mu questions were not finding the answer. I was stumped.

I waited for Brenda’s phone call to update me on Polly’s status. The call did not come and
I started to fret. Symptoms can flare when the ACS is activated for healing, in animals
and people, and I hoped that Brenda would call on me in case of difficulties, however,
people often decide not to call, holding back for reasons of their own. I wrestled with my
own fears and doubts, fears that I loath to admit still plague me, despite years of repeated
successes with this marvelous health technique. On December 20, I finally broke down
and called Brenda. She exclaimed “I was going to call you… Polly is dong great!” Joy
and excitement to match Brenda’s enthusiasm welled up inside! Fantastic I replied.
Brenda said there was an amazing change in her horse. She was walking much better,
with a sure footing. In fact, Brenda obverse that Polly had reared up on her hindquarters,
a first for her. This told us two things about Polly. Her left flank must have healed and the
pain must have been greatly reduced to allow her to rear up. Now the formerly timid and
vulnerable horse was gaining confidence and losing fear, as she reared up at two horses,
showing them her determination. Polly was now able to assert herself at the hay bale,
rather than hanging back as the other horses ate first. Brenda chuckled as she reported
that “Polly was right into the hay now!”

Although her nose was still dripping mucous, we were really pleased with her progress. I
warned Brenda that the mucous could increase; I had seen this in sick people. This is the
body’s way of ridding itself of dead infection and this toxin waste must be purged, a good
sign. We were both astonished at the speed of Polly’s healing. Brenda said it well when
she remarked “I figured Polly would heal but not this quickly, she is like the Cubans!”

Brenda was referring to the Cuban project that Murray and I worked on for the last
several years. I had previously enlightened Brenda and Michael that we were Guided in
this project due to the astoundingly rapid and effective healing the Cuban people were
capable of with NMT. This is yet another story of interest!

December 23 was yet another cold, frosty and windy day and we settled into the barn,
Polly, Brenda and Murray and I with assorted animals in attendance, but most of the
horses outside. I found that Polly’s energy was now up to 77% from the former 20%. She
was no longer stiff in the morning, and was eager to leave the barn in the morning, a big
change for her! We worked again on training the immune system to locate and destroy the
infection, and we also started to boost the power of her immune system which was
impaired by the feelings of fear and low self esteem she had suffered for so long.

Brenda and I discussed the possible cause of her injury. I told her I ask about vehicles and
got a no to all, but yet it was mechanical equipment that had perhaps fallen on her hip and
injured her. I felt it was something that was somehow attached to a barn, I was thinking a
hook. Brenda suggested a hay elevator and the testing agreed. We surmised that Polly had
been in the wrong place and had the bad luck of having this elevator fall on her and cause
this injury that had never healed. No wonder she felt exposed outside.

I started Polly’s system in the vital task of sending stem cells to repair the damage in this
area, and in other areas that we were not able to be consciously aware of, and as I did so,
Polly began to nod off again, licking her lips and letting her eye lids droop. She struggled
to stay awake. I remarked again to Brenda how funny Polly seemed and how endearing
the little wrinkles over her eyes looked when her eyes closed and she tried to keep them
open. I checked carefully and the session was finished. Brenda turned Polly around and
led her to her stall for the night, as again the sun was setting and it was time to bring the
herd into the barn. I felt unfinished; I thought perhaps it was that I had not hugged Polly’s
neck this time. I hung around Polly, tapping on her sore left flank and reminding her
system to repair. I left feeling a vague sense of disquiet. We were invited to return on
Christmas Eve for a sleigh ride. I was elated to visit this farm and to be around horses
again. My childhood dream like so many other little girls was to ride a pony of my own.

Brenda shared that she believed that we had been Guided to move to Stanstead so that I
would focus on healing with animals, a task that would have been unlikely in the big city.
I agreed that she may be correct, and I realized that there were many reasons Murray and
I had been Guided to Stanstead, none of the reasons seemed apparent in the beginning!

Christmas Eve was a busy day with my visiting daughter, Amy. We had a full schedule
and planned an evening visit to Michael and Brenda’s farm. Amy declined to come
along, and we arrived after we left the Christmas Eve candle service, close to 9:30pm.
Brenda came rushing out of the house, visibly agitated, to give us some shocking news.
Polly had fallen in her standing room only stall just after her NMT session yesterday. I
was instantly plunged into despair. My first response was “Why didn’t you call me!” She
had called me, but I was not available and she did not leave a message.

I knew that Brenda feared a fall for Polly and now, this happened!

Her daughter age 5 had alearted her to the situation by coming into the house asking why
Polly was lying down in her stall in the barn; those words started a frantic emergency
rescue to save Polly. Brenda sent her child into the house and marshaled her forces. She
was in a panic, and she thought about the dog that slept for three hours that I spoke about,
rather that reassuring her as I had intended, this only made her fear the worst, as horses
must get up within an hour to avoid damage to their intestines.

The assemble group, the neighbors came to assist, tried to rouse her without success. The
wall of the barn had to come down to allow for space for the horse to roll over. They used
the tractor to pull the horse onto her feet, with Brenda whipping her ears to bother Polly
into rising. She fell again but a last the horse was on her feet after a long 45 minutes
struggle. Damage had been done to her left flank in the fall, she was limping again.
Brenda was very wide eyed and upset, but was not angry at me. I recalled that I had felt
disquieted when leaving that day, and now I realized why. I needed time to integrate all
that had happened prior to sharing these feelings with Brenda. I was really relived that
Brenda had the intelligence to realize that laying blame or accusations was not helpful or
appropriate in a situation like this, and I told her I respected her more for this attitude!

We hurried out of the rainy night and into the shelter of the house and the cozy fire, and
continued to share details of the fateful fall. One of the neighbors had a near miss with a
flailing hoof, escaping injury. I was very concerned and attentive. I was really glad that
Brenda was not a small minded person, and that we could continue to work on Polly, and
there would be more work to do now…

Brenda decided that she would no longer keep Polly in the barn and that Polly’s days and
nights outside were to be spent in a semi- enclosed barn where this type of situation could
never happen again. I pleaded with Brenda not to make up her mind just yet, but to see
how well Polly could recover with NMT.

Back at home, I puzzled and soul searched about the meaning of this sudden fall. I
realized I had been warning Brenda in an indirect manner, by pointing out how tired
Polly became during the sessions. But, I did discount the nagging disquiet I felt when
Polly went back into her stall that fateful day. All the horses were returning to the barn
and it seemed unreasonable to put Polly outside to me. I then realized that Polly was
teaching me a lesson, a lesson that I seemed to need to have taught to me repeatedly!
Never again will I stay quiet when I had a feeling, no matter how outlandish it may seem.
Even if I had spoke at that time, just to say I felt odd about leaving and that something
was not right, I may have been able to trip off a thought or feeling in Brenda, and this
could have saved the day. Brenda is far more knowledgeable about horses than I.

I was filled with regret but my commitment to Polly and Brenda was only strengthened. I
was determined to help Polly be the best horse she could be!

The 27th was a good day to work on Polly as all my family left to return to Toronto. I
called Brenda for an update. Polly was having trouble walking again, she was wobbly on
her feet after the fall and her hip seemed painful. She wanted into the barn, yet, her
temperament was good and her spirits remained high! I sat and focused on Polly. I
preformed a remote NMT session for her. The ACS needed to increase vitality, and to see
the difference between the self tissues and the infection, especially around the injured hip,
and stop the immune system attack on these tissues. I cleared negative thoughts and the
effects of the trauma from the fall, and reapplied the intention of sending stem cells to
repair the damaged areas, with a focus on the hip and eyes. I alerted the ACS to and
corrected the faulty response to the physical agent cold and damp, and reversed this
response.

When I called again on December 30, Polly was still stiff in her hips, and suffering some
rupture and swelling, yet eating and happy! I worked to correct the body fluids and
circulation and to instruct her ACS to activate the setting to keep her as warm as possible
in the bitterly cold weather. Brenda and I decided to wait until the children returned to
school for another visit to Polly for NMT.
By January 6 I had not heard from Brenda, and I was concerned again. The inner demons
that cause me to doubt and fear were at play again, and I was fretting about Polly. Dark
despair settled around me, and I feared the worst. Had Polly become sicker? Was Polly
even still alive? I pushed myself and called Brenda, leaving a message. I was struggling
with my own health after some holiday indulgence that was excessive for someone like
me with a clean and healthy diet, and I knew that I was too ill to visit Polly in a cold barn.

And then I waited. No call came, and as the days rolled by, Polly was still on my mind. I
realized I had been Guided to this place for many reasons. One was to resolve this
haunting childhood fear of climbing up to the top of the mountain then falling away just
as I was about to crest to the summit. I had to make this situation with Polly work for all
of us. I could and I would…

So I picked up the phone and called Brenda once again, and was able to connect in person
on January 9. Despite all my misgivings, Brenda was full of good news about Polly. Polly
is now receiving a special bucket of oats each evening, and comes to the barn for her
treat. Brenda thought she was trying to enter the barn, but she is eager for her oats, not to
get into the barn. Brenda feels that Polly can understand why she is not in the barn. So
she seems happy to be outside with another horse. Brenda notices that she is much better
on her legs, and that Brenda can now lift each of the horse’s feet in turn and Polly is fine
standing on three legs. She is no longer shifting her weight to cope with the pain, and her
hip is now healed and strong! Polly’s spirits are high, she showed playfulness with
Brenda.

I was so joyful that Polly had overcome the terrible fall and that her hip had already
repaired!

Brenda informed me that she has sent Tye’s, the horse that bows, blood for testing, and
found that he was a special horse indeed! The horse breeder informed her that Tye’s DNA
was so rare that she should be charging at least $1500 for his stud services. She retorted
that no one in the rural area would pay that much money for Tye’s services, and he
offered to publish Tye in a directory that goes out. Confirmation on the testing that I had
done for Tye came in quickly!

We dropped late in the day on the 17th to pick up a rabbit cage, and Brenda took us out in
the field to see Polly. Brenda is really pleased with the change in her horse, and she let
me know that Polly is going to be a mom again! I had a great visit with Polly and a long
hug around her neck. Polly, my teacher, is helping me to release my fear of being a
failure, a fear that should have been resolved so long ago.

In all of us there lurks unresolved traumatic events and confusion from our childhoods,
and the ACS references these events, and can base the present moment on a long ago past
that usually has no relevance to the now. It was well past the time to let go of guilt and
welcome in the pride and confidence that doing a good job should instill in the very heart
of us all. I was singing my heart out now for this Polly, and now is all there really is…